User9999
01-17-2006, 11:37 AM
Hey all,
It's been a week now since I got back and I know I should have come and updated y'all sooner but I just didn't have it in me. Don't get me wrong, the pfv was FANTASTIC but leaving and coming home was very emotionally draining for both of us. Part of the reason for that however, was because we set the alarm wrong and overslept so we were in a rush when we got up so I wouldn't miss my bus. We didn't have time for any morning cuddles (or a last minute quickie ;) ). But enough of the bad and onto the good...:p
I went up the night before the pfv was to start (Thursday) so I could visit him that night. When I got of the bus I went to the Mountaintop Hospitality House, a little place that is run by nuns for inmates families. It is $15 a night and $2 for any meal you want cooked or make while there. The guests sleep on one side of the house (think duplex) and the nuns sleep on the other. When I got there I was starving since I hadn't eaten all day. Within half an hour I was sitting at the table in front of roast beef, mashed potatoes, veggies and gravy. It was delicious and I was so hungry I even ate the carrots which I don't like cooked.
At 6pm she drove me to the prison (it is only across the street and up the driveway but she insisted on driving which was nice) and said she would be back at 845 after visiting was over. I thanked her and in I went. I signed in and J came out. I had requested a table in front of the t.v. so we could watch the hockey game as we had planned. It was the World Jrs, we watched the end of the bronze medal game and the beginning of the gold medal game (Yeah Canada!). I brought nachos, cheese, salsa and sour cream for us to make nachos in the microwave. He was excited about that, especially since I had told him not to eat supper. I showed him my iPod nano which I got for Christmas and he was blown away by it. It was kinda cute...He was just like a little kid. so anyways, we had our visit and I left. Went back to the house and watched the end of the hockey game (which we won of course!:thumbsup: )
I didn't think I was going to sleep a wink that night but after watching the hockey and spending half the day on the bus I was wiped. I went upstairs and crawled into bed and slept until 830am. The earliest I was allowed at the prison was 930 so i got ready and off we went. Suprisingly I wasn't nervous in the slightest. I think it was because we had the visit the night before. Anyways, we got there and they took us over. The sargent looked through my bag while we were exploring the place. He didn't seem to be going through it too thouroughly but maybe that was cause we were wandering around like we didn't care. We didn't really have anything to hide except I had 2 disposable cameras in my bag which "technically" you are not allowed to have according to some however we lucked out in that the guy doing our searches was the guy who said we were allowed. I hid them just to be safe and we would not have gotten in any trouble had they been found.
Anyways so after he left our groceries arrived. We put our groceries away and it was so weird but awesome weird to not have to do it alone for once. After we put the groceries away J found the disinfectant and sprayed the place down and washed the bathroom. I take a lot of baths so he wanted to make sure all was good before we did anything ... We threw the sheets and towels all in the washer to wash again. I brought my own sheets so we made the bed, which was a big ordeal in itself. The box spring squeaked but we thought it was the mattress so we kept exchanging mattresses (there's like 6 in the house) and testing to see if it was quiet. Eventually we figured out it was the box spring and just put the mattress on the floor and made it up that way.
After that we went out and chilled on the couch for awhile and watched tv, made out some but mostly just relaxed. We had talked about how we thought we would just run in there and wanna rip each others clothes off but really all I wanted to do after all this time was hang out and cuddle and be normal.
So we did that and of course eventually ended up in bed :rolleyes: . It was so amazing to finally be together again. Everything was so comfortable, not at all awkward or anything. After a couple hours of that :thumbsup: we went out to make supper. Again it was so cool to all of a sudden be insta family. I have never been so happy in my life. Basically the whole weekend went on in this fashion. We had a lot of fun...not just in the bedroom but hanging out and being fools together, something I'm happy we are comfortable enough to do.:cool:
I am not so delusional to think that real life will always be this way for us. It never is. However it is nice to see again how great we can be together. We very very rarely argue and we communicate really well and compromise, which we did have to do a couple times over the course of the weekend. But it just made everything feel even more normal. I think it's kind of funny how when someone has a "normal" relationship ( both parties are there physically) often times they want a "special" relationship or one that stands out in some way above another person's, but after this is all over all I want is the normalsy back. I want to blend in and be together. I don't care what others may say about anything, I don't want to be "the cute couple" or "the dramatic/fighting couple" or "the perfect couple" I just want to be "us".
I know many of you ladies probably know what I mean by that. Perhaps I didn't explain it too well but hopefully you all get my drift. Anyways, the visit was amazing as I said although it was very very hard to leave him and we both went home feeling more alone than before which was really hard. I felt worse for him of course since he can't show any emotion in there. It may be minimum security but the same basic rules apply as anywhere else.
I truly think most/all families would benefit this program. Although it was terrible leaving it was a refresher while in there and now that the major sadness has worn off I am left with only happy thoughts of our time together. It truly strengthened our bond.
If anyone has any questions about the pfv program feel free to pm me and I will help in any way i can. I am going to pm witchlin with some info as well so if she wants to post that she can. I am hoping this helps others as theres not too much out there about the program right now. (not just here but on the CSC website either.)
Thanks for listening to me blab!
Erin
It's been a week now since I got back and I know I should have come and updated y'all sooner but I just didn't have it in me. Don't get me wrong, the pfv was FANTASTIC but leaving and coming home was very emotionally draining for both of us. Part of the reason for that however, was because we set the alarm wrong and overslept so we were in a rush when we got up so I wouldn't miss my bus. We didn't have time for any morning cuddles (or a last minute quickie ;) ). But enough of the bad and onto the good...:p
I went up the night before the pfv was to start (Thursday) so I could visit him that night. When I got of the bus I went to the Mountaintop Hospitality House, a little place that is run by nuns for inmates families. It is $15 a night and $2 for any meal you want cooked or make while there. The guests sleep on one side of the house (think duplex) and the nuns sleep on the other. When I got there I was starving since I hadn't eaten all day. Within half an hour I was sitting at the table in front of roast beef, mashed potatoes, veggies and gravy. It was delicious and I was so hungry I even ate the carrots which I don't like cooked.
At 6pm she drove me to the prison (it is only across the street and up the driveway but she insisted on driving which was nice) and said she would be back at 845 after visiting was over. I thanked her and in I went. I signed in and J came out. I had requested a table in front of the t.v. so we could watch the hockey game as we had planned. It was the World Jrs, we watched the end of the bronze medal game and the beginning of the gold medal game (Yeah Canada!). I brought nachos, cheese, salsa and sour cream for us to make nachos in the microwave. He was excited about that, especially since I had told him not to eat supper. I showed him my iPod nano which I got for Christmas and he was blown away by it. It was kinda cute...He was just like a little kid. so anyways, we had our visit and I left. Went back to the house and watched the end of the hockey game (which we won of course!:thumbsup: )
I didn't think I was going to sleep a wink that night but after watching the hockey and spending half the day on the bus I was wiped. I went upstairs and crawled into bed and slept until 830am. The earliest I was allowed at the prison was 930 so i got ready and off we went. Suprisingly I wasn't nervous in the slightest. I think it was because we had the visit the night before. Anyways, we got there and they took us over. The sargent looked through my bag while we were exploring the place. He didn't seem to be going through it too thouroughly but maybe that was cause we were wandering around like we didn't care. We didn't really have anything to hide except I had 2 disposable cameras in my bag which "technically" you are not allowed to have according to some however we lucked out in that the guy doing our searches was the guy who said we were allowed. I hid them just to be safe and we would not have gotten in any trouble had they been found.
Anyways so after he left our groceries arrived. We put our groceries away and it was so weird but awesome weird to not have to do it alone for once. After we put the groceries away J found the disinfectant and sprayed the place down and washed the bathroom. I take a lot of baths so he wanted to make sure all was good before we did anything ... We threw the sheets and towels all in the washer to wash again. I brought my own sheets so we made the bed, which was a big ordeal in itself. The box spring squeaked but we thought it was the mattress so we kept exchanging mattresses (there's like 6 in the house) and testing to see if it was quiet. Eventually we figured out it was the box spring and just put the mattress on the floor and made it up that way.
After that we went out and chilled on the couch for awhile and watched tv, made out some but mostly just relaxed. We had talked about how we thought we would just run in there and wanna rip each others clothes off but really all I wanted to do after all this time was hang out and cuddle and be normal.
So we did that and of course eventually ended up in bed :rolleyes: . It was so amazing to finally be together again. Everything was so comfortable, not at all awkward or anything. After a couple hours of that :thumbsup: we went out to make supper. Again it was so cool to all of a sudden be insta family. I have never been so happy in my life. Basically the whole weekend went on in this fashion. We had a lot of fun...not just in the bedroom but hanging out and being fools together, something I'm happy we are comfortable enough to do.:cool:
I am not so delusional to think that real life will always be this way for us. It never is. However it is nice to see again how great we can be together. We very very rarely argue and we communicate really well and compromise, which we did have to do a couple times over the course of the weekend. But it just made everything feel even more normal. I think it's kind of funny how when someone has a "normal" relationship ( both parties are there physically) often times they want a "special" relationship or one that stands out in some way above another person's, but after this is all over all I want is the normalsy back. I want to blend in and be together. I don't care what others may say about anything, I don't want to be "the cute couple" or "the dramatic/fighting couple" or "the perfect couple" I just want to be "us".
I know many of you ladies probably know what I mean by that. Perhaps I didn't explain it too well but hopefully you all get my drift. Anyways, the visit was amazing as I said although it was very very hard to leave him and we both went home feeling more alone than before which was really hard. I felt worse for him of course since he can't show any emotion in there. It may be minimum security but the same basic rules apply as anywhere else.
I truly think most/all families would benefit this program. Although it was terrible leaving it was a refresher while in there and now that the major sadness has worn off I am left with only happy thoughts of our time together. It truly strengthened our bond.
If anyone has any questions about the pfv program feel free to pm me and I will help in any way i can. I am going to pm witchlin with some info as well so if she wants to post that she can. I am hoping this helps others as theres not too much out there about the program right now. (not just here but on the CSC website either.)
Thanks for listening to me blab!
Erin