I recentlly started writing to a DR inmate just as a penpal and after looking for info all I have found from others is that most are only out to see what they can get from you and that it's a game to them . Now the person I have been writing to seems very kind (despite where he is at) and I am a firm believer that we are not the same person at 20 that we becone at 40 . My question is what signs do I look for that I am being conned ? I sincerly want to make this persons life easier to face and maybe give him a break form the isolation that I have read they endure BUT I don't want to be played for a fool . Any advice will be much appreciated !!
Thanks
Ladypit

I have been really lucky with the penpals that I have chosen. Possibly asking for money would be a sure sign. Good luck with the writing!!!

I write to a lot of inmates and while I have not personally been affected by any scams or cons, yes it does go on. There are inmates out to see what they can get and there are also free world people who cause upset and problems for the inmate, so it goes both ways. I would say, you set the boundaries about what you are willing to talk about, especially in the beginning as you get to know them and how they are. As nessynou says, if they ask for money especially at the start, then this might be something to watch for. Most are very embarrased to ask for money. I guess it also depends on what level your friendships/relationships with any of these people takes. Some will play games and say you are the only one they love and so on - so more of an emotional game, making out like you are their only woman etc. I have known a few women hurt by this. I would say just be yourself, go into it with your eyes open, set your boundaries and know that you have a great resource site here with many people who have been writing inmates for a long time. Enjoy!

Basically, once you establish your boundaries with your pal and they overstep them after being reminded once. If your gut tells you to watch out, then listen to it. Over the years I've had some great pen pals and only one tried to scam me. I told him that I wouldn't open up a bank account in his name and I got a letter back that was so hateful and vile, I almost quit writing to everyone. A great majority of the people that want the communication won't try stuff like that, they appreciate the contact so much and hate to lose that.

Thank you all for your advice !! I really want this to work out as I would like to be able to make a difference in someone's life who has very little chance at life . After doing a lot of reading and investigating it sure has made me rethink my previous thoughts on the death sentence and life in gerneral for these guy!!! I guess a wake up call was what I needed !!!
Hugs to all
Ladypit

You will feel if your being taken, you should continue writing him, I am sure that he is being sincere, but just be careful and let us know if you have any questions, don't ever be worried about asking us anything, as the other women said, there are alot of people who have been writing for a long time..I personally have never been scammed by the penpals I have had in the past, I guess I have been lucky. I actually met my Babyboy as a Penpal..thank God we have that ability to met the men we do..