Shelby and I were just discussing rehabs I started wondering how everyone feels about co-ed rehabs. Please vote and add your two cents !!!

I dont like the fact that there are co ed rehabs. You have enough to deal with when facing your addiction that you really dont need the other sex trying to push up on you at this time in your life.

I believe rehabs should never be co-ed. You take a couple of people that are fighting for their lives, they are afraid of facing life without drugs, have so many things in common, and they hook up. Which in turn, takes their focus off of recovery. Rehab romances are doomed to fail, and both partners relapse.

Personally from past experience (ex boyfriend and friends) I agree with Shelby

I dont like the fact that there are co ed rehabs. You have enough to deal with when facing your addiction that you really dont need the other sex trying to push up on you at this time in your life.

This is so true!! During my stay at a 90 day treatment facility ( which was all female ) one of the issues I worked on STRENUOUSLY with my counselor was my manipulation of men as a means to fuel my addiction. There was so much I had to look at in that area and if there had been men actually at the facility, I would have been much more concerned about getting their attention than in gaining the knowledge and the tools I desperatly needed to embark upon the road to recovery.

I agree with the majority so far...Non Co-Ed.

I know that most rehabs are coed, but there seems to be more sucess and 'working on the core issue's">>> in seperate rehabs. It 's easy to de focus off one self when it is coed.. just my experience.! also from what was said.. yes the relapse rate .. seems to always go hand and hand.. w/ relationships!!!!!!!

someone once said to me.. "Getting into a relationship in recovery is like pouring miracle grow on our character defects">>>>> i never forgot this, because of my own share of .. (recovery relationship)>>>>>>>

Donna

:) Most emphatically, I agree with Shelby and anyone who expressed like-minded opinions!
I have worked in co-ed detoxes, and programs, and nearly EVERY time, an addict or alcoholic will choose to focus on the first needy person, instead of focusing on their recovery!! In fact, they would "hook-up" at the speed of light, and leave the program altogether.

It has never worked that 2 new addicts got sober or clean together, while in the first stages of recovery, even though their lives depended on it!!

An interesting topic!!

Amanda8088

I think co-ed rehabs should not exist as well as co-ed halfway houses either, I dont understand why they do them at all. My man was in a co-ed rehab while out on bond and there were so many girls trying to get on him and it is only natural being in a living situation like that...but I just think it takes away from the focus of their recovery...or the focus of them trying to get on track after incarceration!! Just my 2 cents...

1st Year of Recovery- Buy a plant.
If it lives,
2nd Year of Recovery- Get a dog.
If it lives,
3rd Year of Recovery- You might be ready for a relationship.

HaHa, I so very much agree with you Shelby. Even then 3rd year might be too soon. It takes so very long to be comfortable in your own skin and mind when getting cleaned up.

I voted non-coed, you guys stated the reasons.

Personally it needs to be non coed, I have been there and done it, I have seen the str8 females gawk all the time at the guys and not do their treatment, no offense intented I just call it as I see it, some of the guys are even worse.

Co ed spells trouble to me!

I aggree with the others as well :)

Let's think for a moment, if one is serious about recovery, why hinder it with co ed rehabs? If a person is there are they not there to help themselves?

Not always MonkeyBoi. Some are there because of court cases so their mind really isn't on helping theirself but instead to look good for their case. Others are there because of family intervention which means they don't really want to be there but their family sorta like made them go. And then of course you have the people who truly want to help theirself.

I was in a court ordered coed rehab for 3 months. I DID get sober. However, many people were focused on their crushes. One of my closest friends got kicked out for having a guy in her room. Women would make up stuff that couldn't be verified visually like yeast infections to be taken to the county hospital the same days as their crushes, to rendez-vous. As the DIRECTOR told us once-it is the nature of the beast-even if you are not doing anything you already have a man or a woman you are fantasizing about in here...don't do it.

Thats was my whole point, I have been in a co ed rehab, some of us were forced to be there for court and the others were there for family stuff, still they insisted on F***ing up instead of working on it!

What about a couple though? They both want to go to rehab but don't want to be separated. Is there such a thing as couples rehab? Maybe a stupid question but I wanted to ask....

I don't think so, they usually separate em!

yeah I agree. I know everytime my husband has been in a rehab I was never even able to see him for quite some time. There was one that he went to that I couldnt even talk to him on the phone because I was his love interest and they needed him to focus.

I voted for non-co ed also.....I really think its the best choice in this.

As a counselor who has worked in co-ed rehabs, I feel that it's not the best of situations. I have seen more people leave AMA with someone they met in the rehab and undoubtedly both relapse. It's really hard to keep them focused on why they are really there and to make them understand that it's not a dating service, but a matter of their life and death.

Fran,
Welcome to PTO! You will find me on the Maryland Forum also. We can sure use some input from a counselors point of view, keep posting.

Thanks, I will

What about a couple though? They both want to go to rehab but don't want to be separated. Is there such a thing as couples rehab? Maybe a stupid question but I wanted to ask....

I can't say for all re-habs, But the one i work in is a co-ed rehab, and there is not aloud to be any married couples, boyfriend/girlfriends family members, or someone who you use to use with in at the same time. This is how our facility works, and YES the co-ed is causing problems for clients treatment. They are more focused on getting some than working on their problem. Though if caught even talking to the oppisite sex at my re-hab, both are thrown out of the program. So there are strict rules, but they are not always followed

I am in complete agreeance with last posts, co eds arent good!

I have been "in treatment" twice. The first place was co-ed, the second was not. There were only a few women at the first facility--I don't recall anyone pairing off while I was there. I do recall that the men got a fair number of lectures on the subject and that one guy did get kicked out for hooking up with a woman staying at another treatment center just down the street. For my part I acquired several female friends, as I had no interest in hitting on any of them and once that became clear, I was "safe" and became everyone's confidant. It seemed an honor and I respected it as such.

One of the women returned to an abusive relationship after she finished treatment--I hope she's ok but things sure didn't look good back then. Several of the guys were simply "serving their time" and more than one didn't even succeed in making it through the 28 days.

The second place was all men, though strangely, better than half of the staff were women. They were using what they claimed to be an "experimental treatment program" which I now believe to be a bunch of snake oil used to get various state and federal programs to pay the bills. I was so annoyed with the program, or lack thereof (how many days of lectures consisting of "it doesn't matter....let go...." can one take?) that I hardly noticed any of the other residents. After 25 days of killing time I grew tired of being treated like a prisoner (which was how the place was run) and signed out. Bought a bottle on the way home, in fact.

A few months later I was shipped off to yet another facility, this time being threatened with 90 days' incarceration there after a two-week "evaluation". The place was co-ed; I hardly noticed. When it became obvious that the program was something resembling Synanon and I began asking pointed questions, especially of one counselor, said counselor took me into his office and assaulted me. I packed my bag and walked out. No one stopped me. And no action was ever taken against the counselor.

I moved to a different part of the state shortly afterwards and, after a relapse of less than two weeks, straightened out more or less on my own and remain sober to this day.

I can certainly sympathize with women in particular who may run into a bunch of unwanted crap in a co-ed facility. That sort of thing doesn't help anyone and is to be avoided. But I can only say that in my own experience, during which I took care to regard other clients as I do other AA members, as my brothers and sisters, I saw no problem. Now, I could write a whole book about guys who try to meet women in AA, but.....those of you who've been there probably know it all too well.

It may not be popular with many, but I am all in favor of co-ed treatment centers. If one cannot handle being around the opposite sex in the sheltered environment of a treatment center, what happens when you finish treatment? I do recognize there are some gender issues here which need to be addressed separately, but frankly, rehab should be a reintroduction to the world, not a refuge from it. And in the world, people come in two basic models.