My son just got an excpetional sentence but was given acdda I think thats how it went. He was court ordered to inpatient tx. He is only 15 but has allready been in an institution for about 9 months. He just got out last august. I am hoping with this tx which will be like 90days in. And 90 days recovery house maybe it will change things. I am so afraid he will end up in prison just like everyone else. To make matters worse, my husband wont even let him in this house. He is staying at my moms until I can get him a bed date. I love him so much and will not turn my back on him. But of course my husband is not his dad either. Anyways just wanted to post.
Kelli

Hang in there. You may have a long road ahead of you and sometimes treatment sticks and sometimes it takes lots of time and jail to work. You can't decide for him and that is the worst feeling. I always tell my son that I feel like I am watching him, standing on a rail road track and the train is coming right for him and I am screaming at him to move....and he won't.
Your love for your son will get you through all this. It may be the hardest part of your life. There's lots of Mom's on PTO. Come here for comfort when you need it.

Hang in there, and whats the deal with the husband, marrying you he should known you and your son are a package deal.Steve&kids

i agree with what was said, that is a package deal that should not be questioned.

Good luck

Apparently that only went as far as long as the kids were making the choices he wanted them to make. It is so hard for me now. My kids have always come first they were all I had for so long. I have told him a million times dont make me choose because the choice wont be you. They didnt ask to be brought into this world. You know its funny because they were the whole reason I married him to begin with. Now he would be so much happier if they were out of the picture but that will never happen. He likes to pretend they are the whole reason he and I have so many problems and while they are a handful you cant just blame them. I love my son and right or wrong I always will.

Kell,

My 18 year olds in treatment too.... He's been there about 3 weeks now and it's a 60 day program. Hopefully, he stays straight and gets on a better road in life now.... He's been in trouble several times in the last 6 months.... This was his choice to go in after everything started closing in on him so hopefully this was his bottom...

Deb

Hang in there it will be okay!

no offense to steve here, but i think it's a guy thing..they don't generally share the same type of emotional thinking that we do...they are from mars, ya know. i had to learn martian the hard way..i have three sons..even the cat WAS a male..they just overtake your whole way of thinking.

maybe steve can help us here?

btw..i do agree with you, steve, about the package deal.

you just do what is best for you and your son, woman! you let him know you love him, that you will always be there when he needs you. just do what you gotta do.

don't feel guilty..it's not your fault..it's just the grand scheme of life. everything happens for a reason..you just don't know what it is yet.

like maya angelou says--we do what we know to do, and when we know better, we do better. you'll do better..so will your son..and some day, your husband will,too. he just doesn't get it yet..but i think he will sometime. maybe not next week..or next year..maybe not til the day he dies, but i truly believe he will some day. so don't take this on yourself..it's not your fault.

I think your in a very touchy way, yes your married, although you are right about, your children not asking to be born. Adults have time to observe hindsight, but......our children, we will never gain back the hindsight, or day or night, we so easily disregarded, and took for granted would always be there, for when WE decided to pay them attention, of for when we felt like boosting our egos, and feel like "good mom's" by throwing crumbs that they so hungrilly jump for and gather to hold and cradle as if a mear breath would shatter to peices the delicate tresure they have embraced, which needless to say is our mear selfish reasons for the time spent, as if we truely care , most people anyhow. i love my children, also, but i choose to raise them on my own, with no in house father, here, to play head games with their hearts. We cant get those days or hours returned to us, in hopes of making it upto them, when we negle ted. When we wernt there for them, to listen and hug and show by our making them the moment's all important issue, as most do to the arrogant, selfish, childish, immature, adolescent men we "marry and choose to codle and pacify" instead of taking our children by their hands, and openly saying, hey, you 40 yr old infant, check this out....my child is my heart and soul, and i will cherish every moment possible with them, you on the other hand, when you stand equal to rank in the same copasity, then and only then will you get a moments consideration, as to whom is really, the priority, the deserving of my time and attention, and soul which, i would die for in a without thought, yet, for you, well ..... go and ask YOU'R Mommy, if she still feels that way,,,about you........they grow up and away.....That missed time hurts too much for you and them........ you will do the correct and loving and right thing, cause you love your son.....i am confident........love knows NO boundries, and no bond can break that of the mother and child not now nor ever and forever. God Bless you honey. Thanks janice R for ronnie in cmc-east claif