Alright. I'm in a tough situation. I am not sure if I'm looking for advice or just someone to listen. My boyfriend has been calling and begging me to get him out of jail on bond. Well, he doesn't know yet about his possibility of also going to jail in Iowa and I don't want to tell him because he has enough to worry about (and nothing may come of this Iowa thing). I'm afraid if I get him out on bond from Arkansas, he's just gonna go directly to jail in Iowa. I told him he's already getting credit for time spent in jail, but, he said since he's trying to get into a drug rehab shelter, jail time doesn't count. Is that true? He said there is a 2-month waiting list for the shelter and so he wants two months out on bond to work and save up money incase he needs a good lawyer (he was making about $3,000 on every two week check, but didn't save any and the cops took what he had on him). I'm calling a lawyer up here tomorrow to see if they could immediately send him to jail up here (probably can). If you were in this situation and really didn't want to tell him anything extra to stress him out, what would you say? I'm having a hard time saying "no" without having a good reason. Its hard for him to understand why I'm not wanting to help him.
Thanks a lot.
-Sierra

I would tell him about his possible charges in Iowa so that he will know the full extent of his situation and be able to make an informed decision about what he wants to do. And also, then, he won't hold any resentment towards you for not understanding why you won't help him - especially if that is the only reason you are not bonding him out of jail. Overall, I think it's always good to be open and honest and not hold things back from one another.

He needs to know about the possible charges in Iowa. You should tell him ASAP. As for bonding him out of jail...you need to tell him why you don't want to. What have you been telling him thus far when he's been asking?

Well, also, I've been told by law I'm not allowed to tell him. I was told by a sheriff that if I tell him or his family, I would be in some trouble myself. I think its just a mind game to get me to talk, cuz if that is the case, the sheriff shouldn't have told me about it either. So, if it isn't true, I don't want him worrying about nothing anyway. Then when I asked a lawyer about it, he said since every conversation I have with my guy is recorded, it won't at all help his case in Arkansas so I should keep my lips zipped about it. I've been making excuses like "oh, you don't have a license now and its too much for me to drive you back and forth all the time (I live in Iowa and he'll be needing to go to court in Arkansas." Also, I don't understand bond if his time now is counting, if he stays in, that is the sooner he'll get out. But, does anyone know if his time in jail counts towards time if he's going to a drug rehab shelter?

Okay, I tried to talk to an attorney about this, but he said I will have to talk to my boyfriend's free attorney. But...he asked if my guy has a warrant out for his arrest in Iowa. Do you guys know how to find that out? I've never delt with any of this stuff before, I'm lost.

His attorney should be able to find this out for you, that is true...if he will talk to you.. if you weren't able to tell him, at least let his attorney tell him...someone needs to...ASAP...hoping for the best here...

:( Hi Sierra,

It sounds to me like he has a detainer from Iowa. If you know the county, you can call and ask them.

I may be wrong, but if he has a detainer in Iowa, he will be sent there from where he is now--not released to a drug treatment house.

Best of luck. I'd follow the lawyer's advice.

amanda8088

Thanks for the replies. Tomorrow my guy will go to court and ask for a reduced bond (I don't have the full amount). Then he is supposed to call me to let me know what happened. I am going to call around tomorrow to find out about any charges on him in Iowa. I also have an appointment tomorrow morning with a free lawyer up here (I'm a university student, I get free laywers) to ask some of my questions. So, hopefully all goes well and hopefully my guy can tell me how to get in contact with his lawyer. I will let you all know what happens. Thanks again.
-Sierra

Alright, talked to that lawyer but not my guy yet (he called when I was already gone). I'm NOT allowed to tell my guy or his family what is going on or I will be in just as much trouble as him. He did tell me more bad news too (always good). I figured my guy would serve his parole concurrent with new charges, but, he said he will have to serve the remainder of his parole back in Texas. Looking at all this right now, I really don't know how I'm going to do this. I don't know how all of you handle this. It's so stressful. I can't even sleep at night wondering what is gonna go on.

Talked to my guy and they said they couldn't reduce his parole until they find out if his parole officer has a hold on him. So, we wil find out next week now.
-Sierra

Good luck with everything!

I will keep both of you in my prayers! Keep us posted and keep your head up!