WoW!! WoW, and double wow!
This arrticle may be a little old but I find it very interesting. I don't know if it was posted already but this is really a must read for our lifers that don't have family visits....and since I'm knocking on 30...something(cough)....I wish this was a procedure that can be excercised.

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/c/a/2001/09/06/MN183190.DTL&type=printable

This is great news. It is very expensive however. I friend of mine did it out here and it cost about $50k. I think I have heard of it being done for $30k. That is money I don't have....hope you do and can get it done!

Whoaaa!!
Mia, that's a lot of money....I guess I wouldn't be doing it either.

I'd do it and get the money some how!! They just need to bring back the family visits for lifers!!!!!

I have been meaning to post on this subject for awhile now but I just didnt dare being that this is touchy. I have been talking about this with my fiance. Him and I do not have any children of our own and we wish to have one together. Being that we are in a state with no conjugal we are brainstorming on how we will make our dream come true. We have decided if all comes to worse we will be taking it to court. Do any of you women without children plan to fight for the right to have your lifers child? I feel if we are able to marry why not be able to have a child together.

Tabitha,
you are right, we should be able to have children because that's what the institutuion of marriage is all about....family.
I do have children already but not by him and he has no children. I at least would like to have one by him before I get too old.
If we try to hold out for his appeals and parole hearings and nothing happens, it may be too late for us because of my age, however, I believe it's still hope for you, younger ones that are able to fight it but then there are the legal fees, etc. that will burn a whole in your pocket. I just don't quite understand why certain States have our visits taken away and others are allowed to have them?
Honestly, I'm happy that the other States have them for the lifers but there should be some type of Federal law to establish family visits in all States.
As brownqueen stated, we just need our family visits back.

Thank you lovinglifer2 for responding to me. I really do hope that there is time for me and him. I am 22 years old and he is 25 years old. There are just so many routes that him and I can take to make this happen but nothing is guarnateed. We are working on his appeal because he is innocent. My man has been locked away since the age of 15 in a help defense case. He was given life without parole. Also we are working on a transfer to another state like NYC but that is just being put on a waiting list as of right now. Sometimes I become very sad at what if him and I never get to have a child but then me and him look at the brighter side of things. One he could be on deathrow and honestly I wouldnt know how to handle that. Another is that I could have no visit at all. I commend all you single mothers, wives and girlfriends of death row inmates well all of us who just love our loved ones despite the circumstances. I am really glad that this has been posted because I have never heard of it being spoken of on here. Me and him do speak about this all the time. He even knows of someone who became pregnant with her lifers child but not through the courts or intecourse. You get what I am saying? LOL. Me and him have brainstormed and still are brainstorming and we have come up with so many ideas. I just wondered if any women on here loving there lifer are actually planning to take action or just let the years fly by without trying. I will stop at nothing to have him home and to make this happen for us. Take care everyone and may God bless us now and always. Stay strong and keep the faith.

Wow.... a great thread! I have thought many a nights the deep want to have a child with my lifer. However I am no longer able to have children, after a surgery last year. Which was something I had to think long and hard about having done, even though I was in alot of pain and discomfort, I sooo didnot want to take away the chance to ever have a child with him. But we talked it over and decided the option to have a child together was one we would have to delinguish. As even he made me realize my health was more important, and the fact I am a single mother with 3 children. We realized that haveing a child together would only be harder on myself, and cause him and I alot of pain, not to mention the pain it would cause our child in years to come. But to this day I still dream of what a beautiful little girl we would have, I see her so vividly in my dreams that it is as if she is a part of us, even though she's imaginary!
I wish all those who would like to have a child with their lifer, and and all who do the very best. For you will or already do share something that will bond you together with one of god's most precious gifts!!

MzHeart

Hello,

I too am like MzLonleyHeart - We choose to not have any children while he is in prison. It would be too hard on me, him and the child. We no longer have family visits, however when we did we did not plan on having any children right away. I do have a son of my own, and my husband has no children except my son who he has adopted in his heart as his own.

We do talk about this once in a while, and just a few weeks ago, he said out of the blue "I would love to get you pregnant" - it really blew me away, because I thought we "were past it" and accepted that it would not happen - it actually made my heart drop and sank deep - especially knowing that we will mostlikely never share this special bond.

I would love to have a child w/ my husband - Now I truly know how couples feel when they plan on having a child w/ their spouse - it is not for the sake of filling your life w/ a child, however it is loving my husband so much that I want to have a child w/ him, and knowing that our child would be a mixture of me and him...just one more step of being "one".

This is his first year up for parole, so even if he does get a date in 2 years I personally feel I will be too old - I am 36 right now. After all of these years of being seperated I could not imangine having a child withing the first 1-2 years after he is home - sorry - I am selfish, and want him for my self for a good while.

Me and my husband both wanted a child/children together.. It would be fantastic if this could be accepted/acknoweldged / and allowed.................if me and my husband do not have the blessings of having our own, I would hope to adopt or have the many children that are in our life more present.

I agree, I would want my husband there for me all the way, in the delievery an all I have allready had a child alone, therefore I would want it to be very special since it is a blessing and share every moment w/ him from him rubbing my feet, to rubbing my belly:) soooo GOOD luck to any of you who do pursue

Donna

Great discussion!!

But to follow up on the article, unfortunately the California Supreme Court overturned that 2001 ruling.

So the procedure is not allowed, at least not in Cali.

That is incredible! It is sad to see they overturned it the decision. I wish it were available here in Flroida, and not so expensive... When he was home I got pregnant twice but had miscarriages. I was then told I can't have a child. But I would give anything, absolutely anything to havemy Davids baby.

wow what is the cost of it really does anyone know i am sure it is high as all get out. has anyone checked to see if it can be done in other prisons? hmm there was a mob boss that snuck his out to his wife she got pregnate and the prison found out that the baby was actually his they took her visits and no longer let him see the baby.

I heard about that case with the mob boss and what you didn't say was that all of her visits were behind glass so in order for her to get his sperm, a CO had to have helped. They took serious punative measures against them and really they needed to find out who in the inside was compromising security.

I have a baby with my lifer and she is mine and my husband's whole world. He lives for her and nothing in this world would make me happier then to be able to give him a son. You know what they say, where there's a will, there's a way. Sometimes you have to look for your oppertunity and seize it.

Hi Im A Wife Of A Lifer We Have Two Children Together Our First Was Born When He Was Home. Our Newborn 1 Yr Was Conceived On A Congugal Visit Yes I Love Them Dearly But It Is Very And I Repeat Very Sad, Hard Without Him Here To See Them Grow Daily But You Know What I Would Not Change It For The World
Ps How Do I Join The Ifers Club An D Get A Number?
I Pray That You Get Your Wish
Smooches!!!!!!!!!!

Hi Im A Wife Of A Lifer We Have Two Children Together Our First Was Born When He Was Home. Our Newborn 1 Yr Was Conceived On A Congugal Visit Yes I Love Them Dearly But It Is Very And I Repeat Very Sad, Hard Without Him Here To See Them Grow Daily But You Know What I Would Not Change It For The World
Ps How Do I Join The Ifers Club An D Get A Number?
I Pray That You Get Your Wish
Smooches!!!!!!!!!!

Im sorry, PTO no longers endorses clubs here at PTO. you are more than welcome to join us in the main lifer forum and in our chitchat thread the lifers lounge. It's kinda like a club in there but we don't pull rank with numbers!


Ann

yah this subject is one i think about alot. my lifer talks about how he wants me to have his baby all the time in letters. and asks me if i do too. it makes me feel hopeful but then kind of like =\ . ive told him of course i want children sometime but with the right man who is going to be there with me. but that if he gets out and things go right then of course i want children. after marriage. =D

for some of you who've been together for a long time or were together for awhile before lock up i feel for each of u. ive known him 12 years but we've only been in this relationship for about a year. i plan on staying down with him for life he has a possibility of parole in 2044 but we'll be 59. hopefully the future holds better lives for inmates and better possibilities. or a miracle release from prison.

maybe later on i might be trying to come up with ideas with all of u. i still would like to know some of the ideas. just for the future incase we make a final decision on a baby sometime later on.

in the future maybe there will be other ways to make babies with dna or something. then if he sends some hair or whatever they could make some sperm or someting. i dont know what the future holds. but i hope my man gets released while we're still young.

you know that has came to mind for me too,we both want kids we where tyring before he went.and he wont get released until 2034. I think, longtime i will be older i'am already 25yrs and hes younger than me he will be 39yrs old and i'll be 43. so yeah i feel you! We dont have congical visits,so it might be kinda hard.i dont have any kids either.he does a lil girl she's ayearold last month,she'll be 18yrs when he comes home.

Has anyone ever tried other (more risky) methods???

We can't talk about other methods if they break prison policy!! PTO wants everyone to keep it clean on the boards!


Ann

We can't talk about other methods if they break prison policy!! PTO wants everyone to keep it clean on the boards!


Ann

OH ok,,, but people do talk about three way calling all the time and thats against prison policy....

You know what's funny?
I just sent a letter to my bf this week that jokingly asked him to send me some of his sperm....lol....He can get this little ziploc bags that his prescriptions come in...and I told him to fill it and send it and I'd get out the turkey baster!!....
Wish this could really be an option, I'd love to have a baby with him!

That was kinda along the lines I was talking about...lol

OH ok,,, but people do talk about three way calling all the time and thats against prison policy....


Yes they do, and if they do it in my forums they will be told to stop!

Irish there is A BIG DIFFRENCE.. one you may get your hand slapped.. and phone privaleges cut / for a minute ..

The other could be more time added on, loss of visits.. incaceration ..

we try not to encourage .. any (phone/or sex at visits etc) .. we are a support / info forum.. for families and friend s of lifers.. Believe me, I was at a place .. literally where i would of gone to any lengths to get pregnant..luckily we realized that it could/would be one: impossible two: jeopordize our visits..

I'm not encouraging anyone to break the law I'm just curious who if anyone has ever really considered it (I know I have) or at the very least thought about it.. this website is for all of us with loved ones that are incarcerated we sometimes have thoughts that we need to talk about, isnt this the place we can go when we have no place else to turn? Arent we here to support each other through "our" rocky times not just our loved ones that are behind bars?
I think people are too quick to judge someone's motives instead of asking why I would post you assume its because I am encouraging people to do the wrong thing and I think thats unfair.

I never said you were encouraging people to break DOC policy. We do not discuss "how to" or whether we have ever "tried" breaking policy....period!
It's for your own protection that it's not allowed!

Let's get this thread back on topic and that topic is.....

Getting pregnant with your lifer through Artificial Insemination

i posted something about this wow!..but well mines not a lifer..but he'll be getting a long time maybe 15-30.. and i would so do this... i agree with what other people have wrote id find the money