Here is a place to ask and answer questions related to coming home in NY stuff....
post any information or ideas you have

I started a new Informational Thread here>
http://www.prisontalk.com/forums/showthread.php?t=140775

I will be adding to it, as I learn and research...

by the way...Vonne, I was in Rite Aide earlier and saw the greendot cards. You buy one for like 9.95 and then get the card right? and then you just add to it? how can I get it with his name on it?

What's a greendot card??:confused:

lara


https://web1.greendotonline.com/contents/login.aspx

a prepaid credit card

so with the greendot card, how do they use it?

i need to take my butt to bed, i have to go to work tomorrow, you got me up! j/k

I was wondering, I know that my man still has about 15 more months to go but when it is time for him to come home is he going to be brought back to the county jail from where he started from or does he have to get picked up right from the prison that he is at when his time is up? If anyone has any information about this please let me know. Thank you.


Laci

In my experience with New York, some are moved closer to their homes prior to release and some leave from where they served their time. They can either be picked up or are given a bus ticket.

As long as he doesn't have any outstanding warrants, etc, he is released from where he's at. If he has no one to pick him up they give him a bus ticket to the place where he came from. PASSION

He needs to measure his neck size as well as the sleeve. He can use a ruler or tape measure. Nuro found a tape measure somewhere in the facility and measured himself for his. Maybe he can do the same thing.

I have a silly q...

if my husband is a size XL...in shirts, what size button down dress shirt would he be...when they measure it in...15-17 1/2?

How can he measure for this type of shirt....

www.Irvinepark.com (http://www.Irvinepark.com)
www.sierratradingpost.com (http://www.sierratradingpost.com)

these two have nice clothes...

by the way...Vonne, I was in Rite Aide earlier and saw the greendot cards. You buy one for like 9.95 and then get the card right? and then you just add to it? how can I get it with his name on it?

by the way...Vonne, I was in Rite Aide earlier and saw the greendot cards. You buy one for like 9.95 and then get the card right? and then you just add to it? how can I get it with his name on it?

Jen, when you buy the card, you have to load money on it at that point. Then when you get home, you call an 800# and they get all the info from you. The name, SS#, address etc...so thats when you would just give them his info. My bestfriend got cards for her kids and puts money on it for them so they can go shopping and stuff.

also try..
www.rushcard.com (http://www.rushcard.com) I have the pink BabyPhat card, and I got Jerrod the black rush card...cuz its more masculine looking..lol. That you just apply for the card online, and they send u the card. Once again, just enter all his info, so the card can be in his name. You load money onto that card using MoneyGram. I just get about $275 of my paycheck direct deposited on that card, and use it to pay bills, car rentals, etc.

I have both cards. The Greendot card is good because you can buy a reload card from whatever retailer sells them, and then call to add the money and its available immediately. They do take a service fee charge of I think $4.25 at the end of the month. The rush card, when you load money via moneygram, it wont be available for a couple hours, and you get charged $1.00 for every transaction...which can add up. So thats why I use the rushcard for paying big bills instead of little purchases. Let me know if u need any other info!

I was wondering, I know that my man still has about 15 more months to go but when it is time for him to come home is he going to be brought back to the county jail from where he started from or does he have to get picked up right from the prison that he is at when his time is up? If anyone has any information about this please let me know. Thank you.


Laci

great question :)

thanks...Shavonne, for the greendot card you have to keep buying new cards, or just keep adding to the one you buy...? then you call to add money? from your bank account? or do you go to the store and add cash?

for the rush card, is there a monthly service fee and if you do not use it, do they charge...for my husband's card, I want him to have money when he gets home, so I can just store it here? and can I just send a MO to add money to it?

He needs to measure his neck size as well as the sleeve. He can use a ruler or tape measure. Nuro found a tape measure somewhere in the facility and measured himself for his. Maybe he can do the same thing.

thanks :) I asked him to measure his pants size too, which he is not sure of...
he wears XL shirts but Medium boxers. :)

For the greendot card...u buy the initial card itself...temporary card...and then a "reload" card to add money. You will get the actual credit card itself in the mail in a week or two. Everytime you want to add money, you just go to rite aid and buy a "reload card" and add the amount of money u want, and then call the 800#, enter the reload card pin# and it adds the money onto the account. Rushcard...I don't think they charge a monthly service fee. You can add money via money order.

ok, thanks, :) when I went to RA they had 9.95 and I think 49.95 Cards, is that right, or do you just add whatever amount you want?

I have had my card for about 2 years now, so I forgot how much the initial card itself costs...but reload cards are $4.95 plus the amount you want to add, which has to be a minimum of $20

herei s another card that seem t o be pretty nice to deal with you even get spending alerts to your cell or email once you set it up [been told by my friend] and you can order it online and just add the activation fee once you load money to it :thumbsup:

http://www.netspend.com/

how does the netspend work?

you can order the card online @ www.netspend.com (http://www.netspend.com) or call 1-86-NETSPEND and give them the infos they want ... they check it and mail it to you! then when you load money via check cashing place [all locations you can find on their website] they take the activation fee off the amount you loaded and you good to go :thumbsup: you can check your balance online and set it up to even get alerts to your cell of all the activities you doing with your card. you can have direct deposit set up also ... it's pretty convinient and basically a DEBIT CARD! i personally dont own one of those cards but a friend of mine does and says it works GREAT :thumbsup:

I have a few questions that I just asked in different forums, BUT of course you came up with this fabulous thread, Jen... Thanks! :)

I wanted to know:

Fines/Restitutions ---

Joe is maxing. Does he still have to pay those? How does he do this? Do they track him down to get the money? How does this all work?

Clothing for his release ---

Do I bring the tags/receipts? Do I leave the clothes in a package? Can I bring him 2 pairs of pants, have him try them on, and leave the pair that he does not want on the next visit? How does all that work??

Thanks ladies! Once again, GREAT THREAD JEN! :D

I believe they will tell him if he has any fines he has to pay, maybe his PO will tell him...many inmates come home and start to pay off fines...

My husband said you can bring him anything he wants to wear but maybe you might want to call the facility and ask how they do it there. I am going to leave it on the last visit when the times comes...

:)

Thanks Jen! ;)

no rules apply when it is coming home clothing... ;)

My son want me to bring him clothes the day he is released. He said he will strip down in the parking lot and leave everything else behind. He wants no reminder of what he's leaving behind.

That is another idea....I just have this vision of seeing him walk out in some jeans....LOL

He won't have to strip down in the parking lot lol. They let him change inside lol. Send his clothes or bring them the day of release. If he doesn't get his clothes sent to him, they will release him in NY State issued white button down shirt, and blue jeans that are so old fashioned and stiff that they could stand up by themselves in a corner.

I Was Wondering If Anyone Knew Approximately What Time Inmates Are Released From Wende. Does Anyone Have Any Information Regarding The Wende Correctional Facility Release Procedures?

My suggestion is to call and ask them....(716) 937-4000 (ErieCounty)

Good Luck

thanks for posting. I know for sure my husband will be wearing NOTHING from that place!

Thanx For The Number.

I wish you well, and happy homecoming!!!! ;)

Yeah, I brought his clothes for him the other day... I got him a collared sexy shirt, jeans and a hoodie! To see him in jeans will be PRICELESS. :D

how cool is that??? ;)

I Need Help. I Dont Kno If I Should Post It Here Or In The Mail Forum. The Thing Is My Baby Boy Is Comin Home From A Prison In NY. And He Wants Me To Send Him Clothes. How Do I Send Clothes To Him?

It all depends on the jail he's in. You should call them up and find out what their procedure is when it comes to inmates being released and getting clothes to go home in. I know some places allow you to send clothes or bring them for them when they are coming out. Hope it helps, good luck...

I am sorry, I thought someone had answered this one for you already? You can bring it on a visit, but like she said, call the prison.

I merged these for you ;)

Thanks Alot

I took my husband's cloths on the last visit. the way i understand it, he gets a chance to see the cloths but they are then placed in his going home property. on the day he came home when he was signing himself out he got the cloths i brought for him and was able to change then. i didnt provide no receipt or nothing. i bought him everything new. socks, underwear tee shirt everything. he didnt come home with nothing that he had there. he left it all behind.

I was just wondering. Joe comes home in EXACTLY two weeks, and I am wondering how their release policy is?? Where do I go to pick him up? Just go to the front entrance?

Just wondering if anyone has gone through this experience. :) Thanks!

do not know for your facility--but saw someone being released at Great Meadow and he was processed out through the same area visitors are processed in. Just call the prison--they will surely tell you!

Thanks a ton Ann! :)

jess, sorry I do not know...but I am sure it is the same all over. and this is a great question too!
I moved it in here too ;)

My son received an inmate statement that him or I can not figure out. I sent him a $100.00 money order but he never received the whole amount because $40.00 was taken out of it for "gate money". Does anyone know what this means?

Plus I sent him a $50.00 money order and $12.50 was taken out of that for "BEG ENC-GATE". We don't know what this means either.

I have called Lakeview to try to find out what all this means but I keep getting passed from this person to that person and get no answers from them.

I'm not sure about NY but in NJ when an inmate recieves money a percentage is taken out and put toward any fines he may have.

Good one, find out if he has fines....

if he is within a year of release it is money they give to him so he has some $ in his pocket when he leaves

I send my son money so he can buy things from commissary and the prison keeps some of this money for him to come home with. What a joke. If I didn't have the money to go get him when he is released, I wouldn't be sending him money in the first place.

As far as fines go, he doesn't have any that are unpaid. Thanks everyone for the info.


if he is within a year of release it is money they give to him so he has some $ in his pocket when he leaves

kris,

you need to find out. why not have him find out? I am sure he can. I can see how gate money would mean that but I never heard of them taking his money for the money they give when they release them? Is he getting released soon? I will ask my husband, because he told me they give them money when they are released but I never heard him tell me it is his own money?

I am very curious as to know what this is all about! Whoever finds out plz post and let the rest know!

Gate Money is exactly that-- when they are released, they get a check for any work they've done and not been paid for plus the gate money. I think the purpose is that they are not released with no money at all in their pocket. The first time my hubby was released the check was $64. The next time it was $48. I like the idea, because he actually got to pay for gas and meals on the way home. Passion

I moved this here as it is part of coming home questions. thanks for the information everyone!

if you ask me, they can keep the gate money :(

Doesn't seem like very much but hey "something is better than nothing" I always say!

Mrs. G.,
My son did ask two CO's and they told him that, "yes, we do keep $40.00 out of money sent to you, for money for you to go home on". As far as him getting released soon, I don't know. His first merit eligibility hearing date is March 13,2006 and his parole eligibility hearing date is July 14, 2006.


kris,

you need to find out. why not have him find out? I am sure he can. I can see how gate money would mean that but I never heard of them taking his money for the money they give when they release them? Is he getting released soon? I will ask my husband, because he told me they give them money when they are released but I never heard him tell me it is his own money?

Kris...

well then that explains it....that is coming home soon! Great! I will ask my husband this weekend if they are doing that for him too. thanks ladies!

Is it 2006 yet? ;) join the club!
http://www.prisontalk.com/forums/showthread.php?p=1365254#post1365254

My man is up at Franklin and will be home in a few weeks. His release date(his max out date) falls on a Sunday. Do they let inmates out on Sunday? or will he be let go that friday before, as he can't be held past that date????

my understanding is that releases are during the week, civilian employees do all the work no the CO's. No civilian's are there on the weekend, well, okay not the majority of them. But, I don't know, does DOCS do anything that makes sense???

I am sure they will tell you!

And Congrats!!!!!!

yeah...call them, LOL...

He said he should know the week before, but I was just anxious to know NOW. Thank you for your answers. At this point, even a day makes a difference.

We just ran across this the other day. They do not release on a weekend

Thats good. I guess he'll be home that Friday. His post release date also has that friday date as an expiration. Cool, thanks everyone.

Chula, thanks for posting this information :)

I wonder, if he saves money in there will they give it all to him?

Yes, they will release him with whatever is in his account. They will give him a check. That check will include gate money, and any money for work he has done, plus whatever money that was given to him and not spent. I believe the only time they will not give it all to him is if he owes court fees, fines, etc.;)

thanks for the help :)

wait...so these cards work like credit cards? you can rent cars with them?

i'm credit challenged *lol*, but working on it....this would be VERY helpful, if i could use this type of card to rent a car. it would allow me to not have to get a high interest credit card.

Ladies I had a question,I am trying to plan a vacation for when my man comes home in Oct.should I worry about if he'll be able to leave the state right after release,will there be any restrictions on where he can go or travel.

If he is on parole, the answer is YES, there are restrictions as to how far he can travel. In some cases they are restricted to the surrounding three counties closest to their residence. Any travel outside those counties must be approved by his parole officer. I hope this is not your case, because I doubt very much a PO would approve an out of state vacation when he comes home.

The Center for Community Problem Solving came out with REENTRY GUIDE which seems to have alot of helpful informations ... just got my copy and i am going over it and will share if it is worth getting it! ;)

you can find more info on their website: http://www.communityproblemsolving.org/publications/index.html

harlemqueen,

I would wait some time before you guy sgo away on any vacation to be honest. Each case is different, with my hubby, he cannot go anywhere even at night, being on strict parole, so out of state? maybe a few months later... ;)

thanks artsy, cool, cool ;)

saltygal, I am not sure if you can rent a car, good question.;)

I'm going with my sister to pick up my nephew who is being released this week. Can someone tell me approx what time they are usually released?
Is it usually the same time at most facilities?

Thanks

They each have variants - call the facility for their exact schedule.

Congrats!!

when the day comes that our men get released from prison, what all do they have to go through. are they going to have alot of paper workt hat they are going to have to make out before they leave or what? how long does this all take? what all do they have to do? how will i know when i can go and pick him up when day comes? ( i have to drive 3 hours to see him )if anyone has any information please let me know. thank you Laci

I'm sure you have already picked him up!!!!! But, YOU NEVER KNOW what time they are getting out!!!!! They told me 8:30a.m. for my husband and he walked out at 12noon!!!!! Please update us with the homecoming!!!!! CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!

He will be given an approximate release time before he is released. Do not get there too early, they will either make you leave the property or wait in your car. Then they will have you log in the visit book, even though you don't go anywhere. Then they bring them to a few different offices, where they are issued some things: social security card, birth certificate, checks, released inmate photo ID, and some other paperwork saying they were released. It took about 15- 20 minutes. Then you log out and go on your happy way !! This is the experience I have had, both times from medium security, Cape Vincent and Altona. It may be different in other places, I'm not sure. I will say it was one of the happiest moments of my life, there is no way you can even describe the feeling.

I need some advice. My boyfriend is getting out at the end of March
and he needs to give his PO an address. Right now he is homeless so he
is going probably live me for little bit. When he gives them my
address, does someone come here and ask me questions? I have two
youngs kids and right now I rather not let my ex husband know that my
boyfriend will be an ex-con. I know if ex finds this out he won't be
happy and might fight for the kids. Is the PO that comes here going to
be concern that I have two youngs kids living here too? My kids love
my boyfriend and right now they don't understand why he isn't around.

My boyfriend is thinking maybe living in a halfway house too. Does
anyone knows anything about halfway houses? I live on Long Island, NY Does anyone knows where one is located on Long Island?

Thanks for any advice
Stacey

My boyfriend is currently in a halfway house. Before he was released from his FPC, his future PO came and did a home visit. It was no big deal, just making sure it was a valid address and that we actually did have an existing relationship and that I was aware of the regulations and basically that I knew what I was getting into. Only took about 15 minutes and was not the big, scary deal I had envisioned. I don't know about the two kids living there, it may depend on what your boyfriend was in for.

The po comes to make sure that the address is not only valid but its a good and stable enviroment for them to come home too.. As far as your ex , how would he know that he is living there and that he is an ex con.. unless you or the children tell him. for the po is not going to tell him...

it by them quickly--but he has done his time and I would think you would be fine even if he did take you to court--

Hello and welcome to PTO :)

Well, I got my baby Friday at 8:30am, but he wasn't ready to go until about 9AM, but I just sat with him until they finished the paperwork

Hello and Welcome to PTO!

Thank you for everyone responses. As right now, i'm not sure where he is going to live. My family isn't happy about me going out with him in the first place, so if they found out that he was living here, it would cause more problems. So right now, i'm looking into a halfway house but he needs an address to give to the PO and for now he might give the PO mine and then live here until he finds a different place. If it was up to me, he would live here but right now i'm getting finaicial help from parents so i can;t risk losing the support. I'm not sure how it works when you don't have an address to give an PO, but my guy says they put you somewhere and it still feels like prison because he won't be able to leave still. Right now he is waiting to go to Willard. Hopefully he goes next week for the 97 days. Some days are more frustrating than others.

Stacey

Hello everyone! I was just wondering if anyone knows if the PO will call the landlord or owner of the building my boyfriend will be living. He will be living with me and my landlord will flip out if he knew that he was on parole. I know the PO will come to make sure he is really living there and it is a suitable enviornment, but will they call anyone to make sure it is okay for him to be living there?

I have no idea.But that has really crossed my mind as well.I would like to know as well.

Hello everyone! I was just wondering if anyone knows if the PO will call the landlord or owner of the building my boyfriend will be living. He will be living with me and my landlord will flip out if he knew that he was on parole. I know the PO will come to make sure he is really living there and it is a suitable enviornment, but will they call anyone to make sure it is okay for him to be living there?


I can only speak from the experience that I have had, my landlord was not called. My nephew who was on parole stayed with me, and my landlord knew nothing about him being on parole.

as far as i know they do contact the landlord, but also it might depend on if he's actually getting paroled to ur apt or if he's just going to live there after he's out. i asked this in the parole thread cause i have an apt but it's income based and one of the rules is that no1 that is on parole can live there. i dont wanna take that chance of my landlord finding out so i'm moving b4 he gets out. but neways...yea as far as i know they do call. but hey then again i guess it all depends on where u live. i'm guessing the only way to truly find out is to call the parole office maybe?

I'm just guessing here....I have a friend who lives in the Bronx and when her man got out of Green Haven the parole officer did call the landlord to make sure that it was ok for him to stay there (the landlord said it wasn't). However, I have another friend whose brother was paroled to her and the PO didn't call the landlord. So, from my experience it all depends on who the PO is. I hope everything works out for you.

when my brother came home the po came to the house to speak with us he didnt ask if we owned the home or rented so I think you might be ok

I see a lot of mixed answers here, so I think this needs to be checked into for sure...
I do not think they will contact your landlord. I am not sure totally so I will look into this one.

We have to be aware that this is NY and all states do this differently and some cases such as Nena's may not be the same for you.

I know they may come to look at the home, and in some cases that never even happens.

Does he have a PO already? I would try calling that person and asking.

I have a friend who lives in the Bronx and when her man got out of Green Haven the parole officer did call the landlord to make sure that it was ok for him to stay there (the landlord said it wasn't).

Maybe this was for a reason, do you know? I don't think it depends on the PO, because they have to go by the book. If they don't there is something WE can do about that. We do have rights.

Mrs G, are you going to look into it for us? or can you tell me how to get an accurate answer so i can post it here. I am not sure which way to go here. If i ask his PO if he is planning to call my landlord then he will definatley call i think. But if i wait until the last minute and then he does call and my landlord says no, then my baby will be homeless. Last time he was paroled no one called the landlord, but my friends boyfriend just came home and the landlord kicked them both out because his PO called.

The owner of my house has never been called by the p.o. She prays for my husband and is one of the two people who told me "don't give up on him." So had she been contacted, she'd of definitely spoke in favor of him.

What I'm getting from the mixed answers here is if the p.o. knows the residence is "housing" or the projects or something along that line, the p.o. may check with the landlord. I would figure they'd do that because the last thing anyone would want is for the man to get released to this type of dwelling only to sooner than later have to tell the p.o. he's getting evicted because the landlord wants no ex-cons living there.

Houses and general apartment buildings could probably care less, the p.o.s know this, so I don't think they would check with the landlord of a general apartment building or house.
After the initial check with the landlord, I seriously doubt the p.o. will be checking with the landlord -- just that one-time thing in the beginning to make sure it's okay that an ex-con can live there. After that, he'll be checking at the actually apartment. And if the p.o. don't feel like coming up, he'll call from outside and ask for the man [like "count"] to stick his head out the window. If the man don't show up at the window you can best believe the p.o. will be getting out the car and will be coming to the front door to check on that. That check could begin with him looking around the room that the man sleeps in.

Heismyangel,

So far what I found out is they can legally check if they want to, but in most cases do NOT...

Maybe this was for a reason, do you know? I don't think it depends on the PO, because they have to go by the book. If they don't there is something WE can do about that. We do have rights.

I can't think of any reason why that parole officer called her landlord, she doesn't have children or anything. I do not know for certain, just from listening to others' parole experiences in NY it seems that calling the landlord varies from PO to PO. And I agree if they aren't following protocol, someone should call them on it.

just from listening to others' parole experiences in NY it seems that calling the landlord varies from PO to PO. And I agree if they aren't following protocol, someone should call them on it.

I wonder if it has to do with the type of housing, crime, location of housing...
It seems things vary too much and it is not fair to have it run this way...It should not be up to the PO,they should be following a set of rules, but I guess this is the reality.

Look at this thread...Great Info...

http://www.prisontalk.com/forums/showthread.php?p=1593062#post1593062

Thanks Mrs. G! I guess there is really no answer, which really makes me nervous. I absolutely know my landlord will not let him live in his building which will make him homeless. I am not sure what to do. I guess i will not say anything to the landlord or the PO and just pray that they never speak. What a horrible way to live...i am going to be so nervous everytime my landlord calls me now. This is awful, it seems the nightmare never ends. Thanks again!

I'm sorry...Don't let it get you down. I am nervous about this too. But I am sure it will work out.

depends on albany
my husband was moved 2 weeks before he was released for the second time to somewhere that was oh gee 15 minutes closer
they do that because if he had to take the bus it would cost docs less---goody for them
but if you are going to pick im up let the facilty lnow that and be there around 8 am or earlier because if you are not seen they will but him on the bus no matter what he tells them about having a ride

I was released from a medium, they knew in advance that I was getting picked up. After all the release procedures were done they allowed me to wait in the lobby.

Every CF is supposed to go by the same procedures, but they vary around the state. For the most part the inmate starts getting "processed out" around 7:30. I was the only one leaving that day so I was all done and offically free by 8:30.

On the day I left, A CO offered me my first cup of coffee as a free man, while I was waiting for my ride. :)

What can he leave with? I know he is going to ask them first but we were just talking about what I can send him to come out and home with ...like a wallet, a cell phone, all his clothes? I doubt the cell, but what about a wallet and money?

Oh my must you be excited!! I have 12 days if DOCS left!!!!
I sent in two weeks before he came home his parole clothes. Pair of jeans, sweatshirt, socks, boxers, a t-shirt, new boots, and his Buffalo Bills jacket. No money, cell phone or any other parphanelia. I did tease him and tell him I was putting in pink panties lol. Now all the gang are waiting to see him pose in his new undies!!!;)
Congrats to you and your man
Love ya Sue
PS I too am a Mrs. G.

how cool!

I got him shoes, socks, undies, jeans, and the shirt, (may change the shirt) He may not need a jacket when he comes out I guess, it will be warm if he comes out in April, we are not sure yet on an actual date yet. I guess they will give him money and take him to the bus, he wants to come home here, alone. Can I get him directions? I wonder...maps are not allowed, but how will he get around the city?

CONGRATS, Mrs G ;)

'To you also Mrs G!!
He gets his gate money in cash and a ride to bus station with a ticket to his home destination. I am sure the cab driver from the station will know where to deliver him to you!
As for PO visit- I called local PO and let her know my schedule so she could come and make the visit. I try to stay on top of these people so they don't let us get lost in the system espaecially when it is so close to coming home. She came in looked over entire house, gave rules. We have no alcohol rule because that is where his charges stem from. Also no BIG dogs at this point but I am going to get my rotty back that is out visiting when she comes. No weapons, 10 pm curfew unless special permission and they are not too bad with that. Last time home we went camping over night at Six Flags quite a lot.
As for housing, we own it but when we didn't we had to have landlord permission and the PO will ask for the information to contact that person before he comes home. I notified my landlord last time to expect the call and he did get one. After all it was his property and if he had said no the address would not have been approved so all with this question please take notice. It happened when I lived in Cayuga county and when I lived in Monroe county.(Landlord notification)
Good luck to all I am impatiently waiting~~~~~

well, they will take him to a bus in town which then stops in NYC downtown, 42nd and then he has to take a train up here to me...a cab from 42nd will be too much money for him I think.

I have a big dog, a labrador, who is 12 years old, I was told, she would be cool...hope so. My husband will also be on parole, when is he assigned a PO? How did you get her #? My husband thinks his curfew will be like 7pm. I thought like 9pm. I guess it depends. He is a VO, so I am sure they will have him on a tight lease at first.

First: I got the PO number by looking in the phone book and calling the local office. I asked for a senior parole officer and then asked for the information of who was going to be my husband's PO. Also ask on the phone about the dog so you can be prepared before he comes home. Better safe than sorry. My husband told them we had no dog so I had to take mine for a ride to my mom's for the morning. (He says he will break the news to the PO himself) Then I asked to speak to her. OFF TOPIC-SORRY(She was pretty cool. My husband hates that I think that. He says she is not my friend,duh!!! So if he is doing something that could violate him be careful what you relay to the PO. If it isn't harming you or anyone else he will violate all on his own like mine did twice so far. You can lead them to water etc...)
Second: if he has to take the bus make sure the parole at the facility knows where he has to go so they get him as close as possible if possible.
Third: curfew is up to his PO. Some say 7 others 9 or 10. Also changes depending on work hours.
Fourth:BUT should be first---relax and have fun. He will have a while getting used to being on the outside again so be very patient with him. Things are very different from when they went in. Time does not stand still and this sure proves it. I have a post from another web site that was very helpful.

After years of waiting and counting down, it is almost time for the gates on the Iron House to open and your loved one to step through and come home. Your greatest dream and your worse nightmare are about to be realized...yes, it is your loved one and no, you don't know this person anymore. Is there hope that all can be healed and your loved one becomes once again the person you knew and loved? The answer is a resounding yes, but it will take honesty, patience and work by all.

The experts say that it only takes 18 months for a person to be institutionalized. After 20+ years working with First Nations persons locked up in Iron Houses, I would say that the experts are being optimistic and that any amount of time locked up leaves wounds that must be healed and behaviors unlearned. You must understand the nature of the enemy - the Iron House - in order to understand the damage done to your loved one. The prison system, regardless of where located, systematically, intentionally and scientifically makes every effort to dehumanize a person in order to better control and "manage" the prison population.

Immediately upon entering the prison system, activities are undertaken to strip away a person's identity, decision-making capabilities, and self-esteem. Their names are taken away to be replaced with a number. Their sense of "Who I Am" is replaced with "What I Am." All opportunities to make a choice are removed. They are consistently told and retold what little worth they have to humanity. They are punished for showing any emotion, questioning any decision, or stepping outside of the accepted standard. Complete and utter compliance and conformity are demanded. Individualism is punished swiftly and severely. And it never changes. Colors are bland, meals are bland, activities are bland, and days and night fold into each other. Time slows and stops, as does growth and life for the inmate.

In order to survive such an environment, your loved must have been flexible enough to adapt and once adapted, it has become his/her life. It is life, alien and warped, but it is their life. And now comes the time for the inmate to come home, a world that has now become alien and unfamiliar and more importantly, terrifying. This is a time that will require more strength from the inmate than going into prison. But this time your loved one is not alone, you are there to help the healing process and to encourage the growth. Your loved one has been deeply wounded, but can heal. Yes, there will always be scars, but one can live with scars as only distant reminders of bad times. So here are a few things to be aware of and several things you can do. You and your loved one are no longer helpless. Take your power back and use it!

TIPS AND HINTS:

First, recognize that he is coming from a place where he has had to be constantly alert and attentive, a place that is never quiet, a place he

is never alone in peace, and that quiet is foreign to him. He will need periods of quiet time in short intervals. And he will not be comfortable with loud noises that he is not accustomed to, such as the babble of party noises, street noises and the like. He will be uncomfortable around a variety of colors, genders, children and animals. He will at first be uncomfortable moving from room to room, and will tend to stay in one room until it has become familiar. He will be uncomfortable going out the door ahead of anyone else. His eyes will always be shifting around and his heading turning, and he will probably wish to sit with his back to a wall. These are instinctual things he has learned and he won't even be conscious of it. The best cure is simply time, to replace his instincts with new ones and to help him be aware of his actions, without trying to correct the actions. Pay attention to his comfort level and help make his new environment comfortable, introducing new things slowly.

The worse damage done to your loved one is his ability to make decisions or choices was taken away. It has to be relearned. We unconsciously make hundreds of decisions a day. Your loved one is not allowed any and has forgotten how to make them. He was not even allowed to choose what he would wear for the day, or if had the choice, it was extremely limited. Do not overwhelm him with choice.

The key to helping is staying supportive, but not smothering. He has to learn to make decisions and to choose in order to survive and grow in the new world, but he doesn't have to learn it overnight. Think in terms of small and slow steps. Let him set the pace, and be there for him if he demands too much of himself. He will want it all...the sensations he lost, the colors he lost, the sounds, the feels, the music. He can have it all, but in smaller doses. Wide open spaces will scare him at first. Start with just watching a sunset to draw his attention up and out. A short walk in the neighborhood or light picnic in his own backyard. When you see he is comfortable, then expand to something a bit larger, a bit longer.

Don't ask him what he wants you to cook for dinner. Ask him if there's anything in particular that he would like, that he's been craving. Don't be surprised if some of his old favorites have changed and he no longer likes macaroni and cheese or turkey or meat loaf or pancakes. Those are prison staples and he is sick of them, even if your "home-cooked" was special. Again, give him small choices to make...do you want corn or green beans?

He will want to do those things that have been denied him all those years, social functions, entertainment, etc. Help him to realize the dream, but be cautious in how you do it. Do not take him to a movie the first weeks home. Dark, enclosed places, where he is surrounded by people will cause those flight/fight instincts to kick in. Rent a video instead. Do not take him to car races...try watching it on TV first to let him get accustomed to the noise. Do not take him to a restaurant for a full meal...start by going into a smaller, comfortable, familiar

place and order just dessert or a beverage. Menus are really intimidating and ordering dinner is overwhelming...soup or salad, what kind of soup or what dressing on the salad, what kind of potato..mashed, baked, fried or rice, rolls or toast, what to drink with dinner.

Don't ever come up behind him quietly and put your arms around him for a quick hug, or tap on his shoulder. The flight/fight instinct will immediately kick in.

Make a little noise before entering a room he's in or call out to him. Encourage him to come into another room by inviting him in with you.

Do not take him shopping unless he asks to go. Under no circumstances, take him into a shopping mall the first few weeks home. Start out with small convenience stores or grocery stores. Don't ask him what he wants, ask him what brand of something he was using or liked. If you put him in front of a two dozen brands of toothpaste, he'll freeze. Watch him closely at shopping expeditions. If he begins to sweat or starts looking around more and more, pull him out of the store...he's on overload.

Encourage his participation in household decisions by asking his opinion, but do not pressure him to make the decision. I know that you have longed to have the burden shared and it can be, but first he must learn to trust his decision-making skills and feel comfortable with airing his opinion. It's been a long time since he was asked and a long time since he was trusted.

Prepare for him coming home by having a new wardrobe ready for him, preferably colors he wasn't allowed to wear. But keep the wardrobe small, six or seven shirts at most. He won't be able to decide what to wear if he is overwhelmed with too much choice. Help him with the choice by mentioning that you particularly like a shirt or that he looks good in jeans, or you will be going someplace that tennis shoes might be comfortable. Don't tell him what to wear, but give hints or encouragement that will help.

Even though out of prison, there is still a long string tying him to prison...fines owed, parole officers to check in with, boxes on forms that ask if he ever committed a felony. The reality is that he is forever marked by being a prisoner and both you and he must accept that reality. Reduce the stress levels of the string by reducing the situation to an annoyance rather than an obstacle. Acknowledge that it is annoying, but then so is paying taxes, getting a driver's license, showing ID to cash a check. Reinforce the idea that it is simply a task to be done and has little importance in day to day life.

Help your loved one to redefine himself. He has lost "Who I Am," and must now start over and this time carrying a backpack full of shame, guilt, pain, anger and confusion. Don't remind him of who or what he used to be, but encourage him to look for what he wants to be. Let him know there are no limits to what he can be.

Expect periods of silence from him when he has nothing to say. Expect periods when he won't shut up and you want to scream because you are tired of the prison stories. Expect evasions and direct lies because they have become a necessary part of his living system. Expect and

understand where these things are coming from, but do not change your life to accommodate these things. When he is silent, respect his silence but do not retreat into it also. When he won't stop talking about prison, understand he is feeling particularly lost and redirect his thoughts to here and now. Call him on the lies and let him know there is no reason to lie. Remember, however, that he is used to instant and harsh punishment and will expect the same from you.

Human touch was one of the first things taken away from him. His only experience with human touch during his imprisonment has been in a negative way or fleeting moments during visits. He will crave touch and be repelled by it at the same time. Watch for his comfort level and adjust to it and help him to expand. Never touch him when he is unaware of your presence. Do not sacrifice yourself and your needs to accommodate him. It will only add to the burden of guilt he is feeling. Let him know that even though the transition is home is tough, you are working on it together, and that you expect him to be a partner in the work. Guide, do not nag. Make opportunities for him to be a partner, and then sit back and allow him to do it...even if you want to take it out of his hands and do it yourself.

Be honest, be patient, be loving and most importantly, be human. Do not try to be perfect, do not try to be strong all the time. He needs to be needed. He needs to give love as well as receive it. He needs to know he is of value to you and the creation. He needs to relearn pride and faith. He needs to be judged on his actions now and the past become a whisper of memory.

Help him to find his spirituality. Help him to see the world beyond himself and his place in the world through his spirituality.

Be the living example by which he can learn. Show compassion, honor, trust, respect and fairness. These are qualities that he has not seen for a very long time and they cannot be described in words. By your example, show him the way home.


Final Thoughts:

Each situation, each human is different. But there is one truth for all. Your loved one has been wounded by the horror of being locked up. What must take place is a healing, not just for him but for you also. It will happen. It takes time, love and absolute faith, but it does happen. I urge you to be aware of what he has been through and where he has been, but not to allow your home to become a prison also. Help him to clean the prison out of him and replace that empty void with home. Do not allow the prison to run your lives any longer by letting him and yourself stay imprisoned within your heart and minds. In order to be free, you both must feel free. Remind yourselves constantly that you are free!

Thanks so much...when do you think I should call the Parole office, When he makes parole, or when he is close to coming home? He may make Parole, he may get out on his CR date, not sure yet. I will know in April. Won't they tell him who his PO is? I also heard some homes do not get visited by the PO.I wonder if there is a number we can call. I am going to ask my husband what he wants to do. How do you look it up, under Parole Office?

thanks for that posting too, I have read that one before, it is helpful! ;)

They all get visited believe me I am an old pro at this unfortunately. This is my husband's third release. This one said she would come after and I thought it was strange but then the phone rang and she made a date to visit the residence and it has been the same all three times. Call when he has his set date. No they will not tell him in the prison who is parole officer is unless he goes through hoops so it is much easier for you to find out for him and yourself. My husband thought that it was going to be his old one but they gave me another man's name and it turned out to be totally different than the one they first told to me so stay on top of it. Also he had the same PO the first two time and he did come to the house both of those times. It really isn't bad they just look at where he sleeps the exit doors and pets. You look it up under New York State Division of Parole. You can also look it up online to find the city or county you are in. If you call the wrong number they will just give you the right one! I am always on top of things for my husband because paperwork does tend to get lost just a bit too much in this lovely sytem that we deal with. If you have any more questions just ask and I will try to fin you the answers!
Have a good one,
Sue

Congrats to Mrs G. and Dougswife on your husbands soon to be home commings. You Ladies must be just so happy and beaming all over.:thumbsup: I envy you girls, but in a good way (lol). I live for the day my baby comes home.:) I have a quite awhile yet.:( I'm very........ happy for you ladies, and wish you and your husbands all the love and happiness your hearts can hold.:heart: :heart:

Mona:)

Hey Jabbasgirl...how are you?

Thanks so much!!! (((((((HUGS))))))))

Jen~

You can also look it up online to find the city or county you are in.

so I am looking for the city parole office?

so the PO he will have does the home visit? Because they told him to tell me to expect them anyday now.thanks!

so I am looking for the city parole office?

so the PO he will have does the home visit? Because they told him to tell me to expect them anyday now.thanks!

Jen- Look at NYS Division of Parole Website under Programs and resources. They have a list of offices and phone numbers. Yes, the PO he will have will do the home visit. CONGRATULATIONS !!!!! Do not worry about what you have or don't have ready for him. You have your love for each other, that's all you need.....

Do not worry about what you have or don't have ready for him. You have your love for each other, that's all you need.....

thanks so much! I know you are right, and it is true, I need to stress this to him, but I worrry, and I feel for him, all his life with crap and 16 years in there with nothing nice, I want him to have nice things and to be all ready for him, I don't want him to see me struggling and as if he is a burden on me, it already bothers him that I do so much for him. He hates feeling dependant on people. I know we will be ok, but I know he wants to have nice things and he is never asks for anything, he deserves it, but again, I know you are right. I just want his adjustment to be without worry on his shoulders about money.


METRO I Office
Phone #: (212) 736-9880
Fax #: (212) 736-9846

METRO II Office
Phone #: (718) 254-2007
Fax #: (718) 855-7851

REGION III Office
Phone #: (914) 654-8690
Fax #: (914) 654-8679

REGION IV Office
Phone #: (518) 459-7469
Fax #: (518) 459-7507

REGION V Office
Phone #: (585) 232-6927
Fax #: (585) 232-9075

how do I know which one is for us, I guess I can just call one and ask...

thanks so much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ;)

Depends on what boro you're in. From the map it looks like SI, BK, and QU is Metro II. You should be able to click around on the map and zoom in.

http://parole.state.ny.us/Images/map_images/region2.jpg

I am in the BX. ;)

The boogie down Bronx is Metro Region 1 :)

http://parole.state.ny.us/Images/map_images/region1.gif

thanks! ;) so my husband told me the PO at the facility told him for me to expect them to call me soon, and said if they paroled him when he sees them on the 18th that, he may even come home like may june, did you see my post? is that true at all, how do they know that?

Sorry Jen, didn't see the other post. The facility PO know that this is his third board appearence. Any appearence after the first one, they can send him home in as little as two weeks providing everything goes well with the home inspection.

I remember you saying he CR's in August. You'll be getting an inspection sometime in the near future either way. :) :D :) :D My mother said once the PO came to inspect the house she realized I was actually coming home.

double post..

Do they ever do the home visit and not let them come home? I know in Mrs. G's case, it's going to happen either way within a matter of months, but I was wondering if they even bother to do the home visit before the board hearing if there's a chance (likelihood) that they'll flop them. If they usually don't, it just goes to prove that these decisions are predetermined :( but they'd never admit it.

Daneeboy - does that mean on the initial appearance they keep them 2 months past the hearing date?

I am so freaking nervous.....LOL someone sent me this today in a PM :( totally took me off guard http://www.tgorski.com/criminal_justice/cjs_pics_&_relapse.htm

...Any appearence after the first one, they can send him home in as little as two weeks providing everything goes well with the home inspection....

My husband told me the same thing. He thinks he knows it all, so I didnt know how true that was. Its good to see its not a long wait after those extra boards...:thumbsup:

two weeks!!!!!!!!!!! ay yay yay, I need to get my ass in gear!!! LOL

two weeks!!!!!!!!!!! ay yay yay, I need to get my ass in gear!!! LOL

Girl, I can only imagine what is going through your head. I bet you can barely sleep!!

I am so freaking nervous.....LOL someone sent me this today in a PM :( totally took me off guard http://www.tgorski.com/criminal_justice/cjs_pics_&_relapse.htm

While informative , not particularly positive or supportive !

Don't worry Jen with you by his side hubby will be fine :yes:

I was like HUH? why would you send this to me :(

Vonne, I have been having dreams with him every night and cannot get out of the bed in the morning, I have been moody, nervous, and my mgr is such a BIACH lately on top of it, my rent is going up and I hate it here....money is tight, what else? LOL, but I am hanging in there, gotta keep it movin' ;) I don't know if I could do all I need to do if they tell us two weeks to be released, not that I am complaining LOL

Daneeboy - does that mean on the initial appearance they keep them 2 months past the hearing date?
Yes normally after the first board they will release about two months afterwards. They keep some longer in order to finish their programs. I was supposed to be released on June 2nd but parole gave me an open date of July 19th so I would complete ASAT. I wound up not completing ASAT but that's a story for another thread. ;)

Mrs.G, That link stunk, maybe they were trying to prepare you for the worst but why make you more nervous! I'm sure everything will be fine. Just remember your husband has been "down" for a long time and it's going to take a while for him to fully adjust to the outside world

I took my husband's cloths on the last visit. the way i understand it, he gets a chance to see the cloths but they are then placed in his going home property. on the day he came home when he was signing himself out he got the cloths i brought for him and was able to change then. i didnt provide no receipt or nothing. i bought him everything new. socks, underwear tee shirt everything. he didnt come home with nothing that he had there. he left it all behind.

He is being released on a Friday 8/11

I plan on bringing his clothes on a visit to him, and he plans on leaving with nothing but that. So I wonder, will he get it the day he leaves and have to change outside?

He is coming home on the bus. Will they drive him to the bus stop and can he have directions home?

Yes, they will release him with whatever is in his account. They will give him a check. That check will include gate money, and any money for work he has done, plus whatever money that was given to him and not spent. I believe the only time they will not give it all to him is if he owes court fees, fines, etc

gate money is given in cash, and then he gets the amount in his account in a check? I don't think he is aware of that. He was thinking what he has now, he will have in his pocket to use. So what amount is gate money? Is it enough for a trip home?

Daneeboy,

so when do I call the PO?

When I was coming back from my visit with my fiance for his birthday , on the Greyhound bus were 2 guys who were released from Ogdensburg. One of them saw the paper bag I had with my honey's DIN on it and we chatted a bit. I asked him how was he able to get on the bus ? He told me the prison gives a voucher for a bus ticket.

Jen-- The gate money was never cash, both times my hubby was released it was with a check. Because I picked him up, we were able to go cash the checks before we started the ride home. They were issued from a local bank account near each prison he was released from. The travelling by bus part I am unsure of, I asked him and he said DOC transports you to the bus station closest and you have vouchers for ticket home. The directions part-- if he's not sure how to get to your house, can you meet him at the bus station (my guess it would be Port Authority for you). I don't think DOC will give him directions. Or maybe you can send them to him beforehand.

His clothes-- he will change into his new clothes inside the prison. They do not release you in your greens.

PO-- If he's coming home in August, you will hear from the PO probably in July. The first time my hubby came home they never did the home inspection until 4 days before his release. Don't get nervous if they they do this to you. Call parole in July and see what you can find out.

CONGRATULATIONS AND BLESSINGS TO YOU AND YOUR HUBBY !!!!!!!

I know this is a little later than you thought-but at least you have a day now.

I have seen a few guys released. They all had their going home clothes on as they signed their release papers (done in the visiting room where I go).

I have also heard the guards discussing who was on the bus station drop off detail-so I assume they get them that far. where some of these places are located they would have to do that. I also could swear I saw cash in the release envelop.

Thanks Ladies, ;)

all very helpful stuff here. I will now ask him to find out about the money since some say no cash and Ann you said yes? If it is no cash, he will not like that one I know - LOL...He told me he can have a wallet on him too.

He wants to take the bus all the way to the City and then the train home alone...sort of like, he wants to stand on his own.

I will call the local Parole office in July then.

so my husband found out that they can take him to a bank to cash his check and then he can have money in his pocket, plus they take him to the bus :)

he also told me that since he gets out on Friday, he does not have to see the PO until Monday, is that true? then no curfew until Monday?

so he can have an empty wallet given to him to come home with?

ok, more questions....

when can we bring his clothes up and can I get him directions to my house?

I got a quick question... my man has 17 mos to go but his parents are moving to Pennsylvania probably b4 winter this year - and hes currently in a nys prison.... will he be able to parole to PA? Ive been tryin to figure it out. i'll be damned if hes forced to live in a group home!:angry:

Thanks so much:)
_Kristen