Hi!

Please tell me what all of you think of this please.

I recently reconnected with a pal in VA thru Christmas cards.

I asked now if he had found his "someone special'?

He tells me that an ex has moved back from across the county to be near him.

He also says she visits all the time, but he doesnt promise anyone anything and he doesnt want anyone waiting fro him while he is in.

He said when someone else wants to visit, he just tells her to stay home that day. I dont mean family, either!

I think this is rude of him, cause she is waiting and supporting him emotionally even though he told her there were no guarantees. She is his ex.

I think this is disrespectful and mean of him to tell her this after she is sticking by him, and he is NOT protesting.

After I heard this, I got the "cringes"! as it sure is crappy to tell her this in the first place.

My idea is I want no part of interfering or causing her hurt feelings.

What and how do you react?

He says she knows he has other friends.

I think the whole deal kinda sucks big time, as the girl moved from the west to be closer to her.

Thanks for any comments?advice!

Amanda8088

Ouch! You can't change him or his ways. You also only know what he is telling you. She may have no clue what he is doing. But you do. If you want to stay friends with him, you will have to accept his behavior. We cannot change another person, we can only change how we react to them.

Stay strong.
dw

If I were her, I'd be suspicious when he asked me to stay home. But if he's being truthful with her and she knows he has other visitors and if he told her that he doesn't want anyone waiting for him, she's making her own bed.

Yeah, but he is a big time player anyway, or so he thinks.

Problem is, I just dont want to waste my time on someone who would treat another woman like that. I have my other 2 guys i write, and they have respect for women.

In other words, I dont need the aggravation!

Amanda8088

Thanks for your replies, DWfighterva and
pinky666!

The thing is, that I dont want anyone like him for even a friend, and after I thought of it, I realized that I dont want to write him after that.

Problem is, we spoke for 3 phone calls, and we had planned to write again, but on the third i asked him about if he had anyone special, and he mentioned this deal.

So, I am not jealous; just feel this isnt right for her or fair, and i wouldnt be planning to go out of my way to visit a guy who told his obvious gf, that she had to stay home from visiting that day. In other words, the whole thing, to me, blows!

Amanda8088

Amanda,
You are a smart woman with class. I think you've made the right decision. I also would not invest my precious time and friendship on someone who obviously has such little respect for women. What a creep!

Thanks one luv--I always enjoy your perspective.

I dont think he is being entirely honest. I asked him why the relationship with her didnt last the first time, and he said it was because "she" had some problems!

He was also one, always hinting for money and things last year, and also ran up my phone bill to $400.00 per month.

Personally, I think he is just trying to get some kind of ego boost, and kill some more time on the phone. He is calling again New Year's Eve, and I will have to be honest and tell him that we cant be writing again, as really she is the one waiting, making all the sacrifices, and I am not so impressed with the player attitude he has.

Thanks for allowing me to vent!

Amanda8088

Thanks one luv--I always enjoy your perspective.

I dont think he is being entirely honest. I asked him why the relationship with her didnt last the first time, and he said it was because "she" had some problems!

He was also one, always hinting for money and things last year, and also ran up my phone bill to $400.00 per month.

Personally, I think he is just trying to get some kind of ego boost, and kill some more time on the phone. He is calling again New Year's Eve, and I will have to be honest and tell him that we cant be writing again, as really she is the one waiting, making all the sacrifices, and I am not so impressed with the player attitude he has.

Thanks for allowing me to vent!

Amanda8088

sorry for the double posts!

Amanda8088