View Full Version : Is He Friends With Other Violent Offenders?


whiskeylullabye
12-18-2005, 09:58 PM
I was talking to the fiancé tonight and some of the things he said made me believe that he's mainly friends with other VOs. Has anyone else experienced this with their loved one?

Orginally it kind of bothered me, I don't know why, maybe because I was partially afraid for him or what could happen, but then I realized maybe he's friends with these people because they have sentences just as long as he does?

Of course, I could be jumping to conclusions in saying they are VOs, but I'm 95% positive the majority of his friends are.

So what I'm asking is, is it like this with your VO? Would this worry you, why or why not?

MrsWest11
12-18-2005, 10:01 PM
Well...Kevin has some "homeboys" from the streets & it just so happens one or two of them is always at the facility he is at. They are (the majority of them anyway) also considered VO's...so, I don't really think nothing of it (cause they were homeboys on the street). Kevin basically stays to himself unless he is around those guys.
I don't think it would really *worry* me tho...I would look at it like he hangs with people he can "relate" too...or something like that.

Atalie
12-18-2005, 10:04 PM
I think you are right. I think they get attached to people who have been in as long as they have or are facing long sentences, I think that happens in part because they see others come and go, but certain people they know will be around for the long haul. I think it really bothers them when they lose a friend on the inside. either because they were released or because they were transferred. That is just how i see it.

whiskeylullabye
12-18-2005, 10:05 PM
Well...Kevin has some "homeboys" from the streets & it just so happens one or two of them is always at the facility he is at. They are (the majority of them anyway) also considered VO's...so, I don't really think nothing of it (cause they were homeboys on the street). Kevin basically stays to himself unless he is around those guys.
I don't think it would really *worry* me tho...I would look at it like he hangs with people he can "relate" too...or something like that.

Most of the people my fiancÚ hangs out with he didn't know from the street, well there is his codefendant...but some people are people that his brother knows...

His close group of friends though - to the best of my knowledge - are VOs. I think that relating has to do with it to some extent, although, I do not think that they talk to much about their crimes, but they can relate about the bids that they have to do.

whiskeylullabye
12-18-2005, 10:07 PM
I think you are right. I think they get attached to people who have been in as long as they have or are facing long sentences, I think that happens in part because they see others come and go, but certain people they know will be around for the long haul. I think it really bothers them when they lose a friend on the inside. either because they were released or because they were transferred. That is just how i see it.

Very good point. I was surprised to learn that where my fiancÚ is incarerated inmates are allowed to write each other, and the ones that are transfered tend to stay in contact with the ones that they left behind.

I know that it must be hard to 'lose' a friend in prison to release, or transfer ... my man plans on staying in contact with his friends who are still inside once he gets released, so they have some place to call since the majority of them have nobody...

Jillian
12-18-2005, 10:11 PM
Its like someone said they tend to hang out with others with the same sentence ... that is how i have always looked at it .. For i know that he isnt hanging around them for the wrong reason but just cuz they are all in the same situation

whiskeylullabye
12-18-2005, 10:15 PM
Its like someone said they tend to hang out with others with the same sentence ... that is how i have always looked at it .. For i know that he isnt hanging around them for the wrong reason but just cuz they are all in the same situation

I don't think that he's hanging out with them for the wrong reasons, honestly, I can't even think of any reasons that would be wrong. LOL. But the more I think about it I realized that they do have longer sentences than him and some of them are just starting out...so that probably has a lot to do with it.

Jillian
12-18-2005, 10:20 PM
Very good point. I was surprised to learn that where my fiancé is incarerated inmates are allowed to write each other, and the ones that are transfered tend to stay in contact with the ones that they left behind.


Here they can write to other inmates but it has to be approved before they are able to write.. I know for sure they can write their blood relatives who are also incarcerated...

whiskeylullabye
12-18-2005, 10:25 PM
Here they can write to other inmates but it has to be approved before they are able to write.. I know for sure they can write their blood relatives who are also incarcerated...

They don't need approval in Ohio!

brat4lyf
12-19-2005, 03:50 AM
unfortunately he happens to know alot of people who are VO's although their crime may not be as severe, even though he has more time , they knew eachother from the outside so he bonds with the ones he knows. I don't get bothered because they tend to look out for eachother, and they are like family.

one_luv
12-19-2005, 05:21 PM
Off-topic, but I hate the term VO. It's just so damn clinical and unpersonal. It's one thing to call them that when I'm writing a paper, but another when I'm talking about people I know and love.

My husband is friends with people whom he has knows for years, who are mostly all in prison for violent crimes. He doesn't associate with people in there for certain types of crimes. Yes, convicts can be snobs, we've talked at length about this. I think it has to do more with the type of person they are than anything.

It doesn't bother me at all. These are his homies and his brothers and they watch out for each other. I don't think people who committ violent crimes behave any worse than anyone else. We don't want anyone to judge our loved one, so I am not going to judge his friends by what they are in there for.

whiskeylullabye
12-19-2005, 05:46 PM
Very well put One. I agree with you, I do not think that people who have committed violent crimes are any worse than any other type of criminal or any person for that matter. I wasn't judging his friends, just more surprised that seemingly they were ALL in for the same thing. I plan on talking to him about this tonight on the phone, but I'm sure it's because they have similar sentences...And I think that you are right about the type of people that they are as well. All of his friends seem like really good people who were at the wrong place at the wrong time and made the wrong choice. He won't associate with people in for certain crimes either ...

So if you could classify the VOs and call them something else, what would it be? I'll start using that. :)

MurphyGirl
12-19-2005, 07:51 PM
My husband mainly hangs out with other lifers, so considering their sentences I assume them to be VO's......I never ask about them and really perfer not to know.


ann

Zelda50
12-19-2005, 11:38 PM
My husband tends to keep to himself or hang out with folks who have lengthy sentences, like him - and those are prisoners who committed serious offenses. He says he chooses those people because they don't whine as much like the ones new to prison or talk all the time about what they're gonna do when they're released. He says there are lots of people comin' in and out and they most likely will never even meet. Z.

one_luv
12-20-2005, 12:57 AM
So if you could classify the VOs and call them something else, what would it be? I'll start using that. :)

In the field I am employed in, and being a journalism major, we are very careful of labels given to people, and I think that's why I am so sensitive and aware of it. I know some people don't care about terms, and it doesn't bother me if they don't, it's just for me, I prefer not to use those terms if I don't have to. But I am stuck using it sometimes for lack of another one-word term. So please don't think I expect everyone else to think like me. It was just on my mind, so I threw it our there. :) :)

I think of it like those who have disabilities- they have a disability, they aren't their disability. The language among people working with those with disabilities has totally changed over the last decade to signify that this. So, I try to say, "people who have committed violent crimes." I think this better shows that they are people first, and not what they did.

mrsdragoness
12-20-2005, 04:32 AM
Almost all of my husbands close friends are lifers who are doing LWOP, a few others are also violent offenders. In his case, it has nothing to do with the crime, but the former lifestyle that almost all of them lived (bikers).

There are several of his friends who will always be in our lives. Even though my husband will never see his friends again, he will be a part of their lives thru letters and phone calls. I think they are also friends because they are oldtimers who still live by the old codes - no games, no ratting each other out and nothing hidden.. straight up front with everything.

Em77
12-20-2005, 05:43 AM
M partners mates are VO'S but also his unit that he is in is made for VO'S and most of them are from there. He does have some that have been transfered and stays in touch with. Alot of them have less time than he does too.

Kbsles
12-20-2005, 09:08 PM
I believe that this is true of Kenny also. His friends are the ones that he has known thru out the years, and simply due to the length of time he has been in, these are mostly lifers or others doing long sentences, which usually amounts to being convicted of a violent crime.
He also does not care to hang out with the younger ones, or those doing lesser time. I can't tell you all the times he has told me he hates hearing them complain of doing a few years.
I also don't worry about him hanging around with the wrong type. He is well aware of staying out of trouble and does a pretty good job of it and has for years now.

whiskeylullabye
12-20-2005, 09:09 PM
M partners mates are VO'S but also his unit that he is in is made for VO'S and most of them are from there. He does have some that have been transfered and stays in touch with. Alot of them have less time than he does too.

Where is he that they have a unit for that? Is this in Australia?

mrschris
12-20-2005, 09:40 PM
i guess i initially said that it wouldn't bother me because they are all in the same "boat" so to speak...they are all VO's and can relate to whatever got them in trouble. but i also think it doesn't bother me too much because he and i already agreed that he won't associate with them when he comes home (unless they are family members haha)...and well...for now, they are all he has company wise while in there. so as long as he uses his brain when around ANY other people in there, i have no problems with the situation. and it's an EXTREMELY rare case that he isn't on top of his surroundings and the people he's with.

mrschris
12-20-2005, 09:42 PM
oh...and btw...i also agree that it has nothing to do with the crime...but more or less the lifestyle they lived yanno...like they never sit around and talk about the bad things...but they may kinda counsel each other, just to help make it through.

Atalie
12-20-2005, 10:12 PM
IKendrick, I think you nailed it right! I agree with everything you said.

robs_angel
12-20-2005, 11:51 PM
yeah my vo has other vo friends, but hes friends with alot of ppl, not one "type" and he has them for friendship plain and simple , hes not going to get into anymore trouble, i mean if they any of them would want him to do something or try and talk him into something, it aint happening!!
he looks at it as friends are friends no matter the charge

babygurl919
12-22-2005, 11:53 AM
So what I'm asking is, is it like this with your VO? Would this worry you, why or why not?

Well my man tells me that he doesn't know what most of his "friends" are in there for cuz I guess you're not supposed to ask or something. But the ones he's told me about, most of them were VO's. I don't really care, as long as he doesn't get violent in there or when he comes home. The only thing I'm worried about is that when he's on parole, he's not supposed to have ANY contact with ANYONE convicted of a felony, and he's always talkin about how he's gonna meet up with this dude and that one and whatnot. :rolleyes: But somehow I highly doubt that he'll really chill with these dudes when he gets out... Guess we'll see.

babygirl350
12-24-2005, 01:03 PM
Most of the time my husband does not even know what a person's charges are when he makes the decision to become friends with them. There are many different charges for everyone in prison. I don't feel afraid even though my husband is considered a violent offender of him making friends with another violent offender. It is just something that happens.

My husband just tries to take one day at a time and do his time and is awaiting to the day when he can be released and put all of it behind him.

LadyMel2626
12-25-2005, 06:44 PM
yes he is i know he is cuz he has had me look up alot online im not so worried because behind the gates he is doing pretty well but once he gets out and if he and i still wanna be together which i hope we are he will slow his roll and i know he and i will spending alot of time together so i dont think it will be so bad :)

foreverxyours
02-01-2006, 01:24 PM
If someone is down for a violent offense... then... ya... their homies would be VO's too. Like my old man... he's a VO... and so are all of his homies.

whiskeylullabye
02-02-2006, 02:00 PM
If someone is down for a violent offense... then... ya... their homies would be VO's too. Like my old man... he's a VO... and so are all of his homies.

Why do you think that because they are incarerated for a violent offense that his friend would automatically be violent offenders too. Just curious? :confused:

bunnyrun5
02-03-2006, 10:05 PM
My Hubbie has lifer's for his associates. He has NO FRIENDS and that's the way it was with him on the street. He'll speak and that's just about it for him. He said he'll talk with older lifer's because they are more settled and layed back. The younger inmates are trouble he says.

babygirl350
02-04-2006, 01:38 PM
My husband although he has been incarcerated a long time, does not have many people he would consider a friend. He said it is best that way. He will speak with anyone and most of the time unless they offer, he has no idea what their charges are nor is he concerned with it.

Being labeled a Violent Offender is just a label. That MAY describe his offense, but that doesn't define whom he is.

The guys he does hang out with that he knows their charges are all in for various reasons. It really doesn't matter to him. He feels for him that is the way it should be.

haswtch
02-04-2006, 04:56 PM
Eric is like that. He talks to who he likes, for who they are at that moment, which isn't many. He himself is labeled a VO and he is one of the least violent people I ever met, but his 'jacket' says attempted assault on a state trooper, and most people seem to barely hear the 'attempted' and certainly don't realize the whole thing was a load of BS in the first place.
He had a guy who claimed to have shot a cop in self-defense, sorta cozy up to him and try to be all buddy-buddy. Then he found out that the guy was actually in for absuing a child, and the whole sitch freaked him out a bit, made him less trusting which is probably good.
He himself is not a violent human he's a snuggle puss. He is labeled VO, which has taught him you can't judge a person by their DOC label if nothing else.

babygirl350
12-09-2006, 04:36 PM
Yes, hubby has friends who are violent offenders as well as all offenders in general. He does not go to a person and ask what his charges are, he just decides what type of person they are now. That is what he makes his decision on.

Am I afraid, no not really. I mean he is extremely careful with my address and phone number. He does all that he can to protect me while incarcerated.

Although he has these friends while incarcerated, I suspect when he comes home, he will not be associating with them as it will be a condition of his parole not to associate with a known felon.

Before he was incarcerated he did not hang out with people who had records and I have no doubt that he won't when he is released. Besides, he will not have time on his hands to be hanging out with too many other than me and I have no record.
I intend to keep him very, very busy! LOL