View Full Version : Does he get mad at you cause you worry too much
12-13-2005, 08:24 AM
I am one of the fortunate ones who gets to talk to my hubby every day, sometimes up to 4 times a day, beleive me Im not bragging and sometimes I wish I didnt get to talk to him that much, not because of the phone bill but becaue if he doesnt call then I worry and I WORRY. When he does call a little late, I start crying cause I was worried about him and we end up fighting. We both have each other spoiled with the phone calls. He called me yesterday morning at 10:30 and then I didnt hear from him until 7:30 that night, which he normally calls at 3:30. I know things happen in there but I kept having the feeling something "happened", and then I cried like a baby when he called, he got extremely upset with me and told me "maybe our marriage is something I need to worry about", and he felt like all I want to do is "check up on him", I was like OMG, where did that come from? Then he told me he was hanging up and for me to collect myself and he is not going to call me back for a while. So about 9:30 last night he called and appologized and said he had to scold me to get my attention and to straitin up. I said "babe you aint on no camping trip". My question is does your man get upset cause you worry too much or is it just mine gone loco?:eek:
12-13-2005, 08:32 AM
mine doesn't get upset at me for worrying but he tries to calm my fears. I don't get to talk to him daily. He stopped telling me what day and time he was gonna call because if he can't call at that time I get all worried and stressed out so to avoid that he just doesn't tell me when he's gonna call next.
I'm gonna worry regardless, so many thoughts go through my head no matter how much he reassures me. He always says not to worry about things I can't control and I have absolutely NO control in this situation. Last time I saw him he sat there and told me to remember this moment of him telling me that he is ok no matter what, that when I start to worry think about this moment of me being in front of him and him tell me he's ok. It kinda works but I will always, always, always be a worrier. I just can't help it. They need to know that prison is scary to us. We don't know what is going on in there, no matter what they tell us we just can't completely comprehend it. If he's worried he can pick up the phone and call me but I don't have that same advantage, I have to wait for him to call or get a letter which can take days. I think they should be just a little more understanding of our worries and why we have them.
12-13-2005, 09:42 AM
i am worried 24/7 about him everyday its like what time did you eat, are you eating ,how you feel and such, when i do get upset and start crying about something he tells me to calm dowm and to stop crying cuz when he hangs up he worrys if i am ok and not doing something stupid to myself which he knows i have done in the past. but i cant help it cuz hes ny world and when i cant see how he is and how hes doing i worry all the time. i talk to my hubby evryday to everyoher day and when i tell him call me right back he does cuz he knows i am a worrior,
12-13-2005, 10:03 AM
No, he doesn't get mad, but he always says in his letters.. "don't worry, I'm OK". I just don't believe that because to me prison is a scary place that I just cannot comprehend.
Part of the reason we don't do phone calls is because I would be a nervous if he didn't get to call for some reason.
Some of us just worry more than others and that probably isn't going to change. I think he gets mad because he feels like his situation is causing you to worry.
12-13-2005, 10:10 AM
I worry constantly about him. He tells me that although he understands my worry that he is worried that it will affect my health. At night I toss and turn thinking is he finally sleeping tonight? Is he too cold? I don't hink there is anything either of us can do about the worrying, but I do try not to always let him know how worried I am, because I know it will only add to his worried and Lord Knows He Has Enough Of Those on his own.
12-13-2005, 10:32 AM
Given that they are incarcerated is reason enough to worry. Although I try not to worry too much, if I don't hear from him on certain days at certain times I do get concerned. Where my husband is located the phones have been acting up so there are times when I don't hear from him for a couple of days, but as soon as the phones are working again he calls so that I am not having anxiety attacks. Try if you can not too worry too much, just pray that he is alright and busy yourself until he calls, this helps sometimes.
12-13-2005, 10:53 AM
He actually likes that I worry, he says that it shows that I care. I'm sure that if I did it incessantly though he would get a bit upset and maybe even annoyed with me, but that's just the way I am. He gets worried about me as well ...
I would simply explain to him again that he's in prison and that it's a dangerous place and you can't help but worry, but tell him that you'll work on it, as long as he is patient with you.
Keep yourself busy when you're waiting for him to call, I know it's easier said than done, but trust me, you can do it.
12-13-2005, 11:41 AM
i am a worry WORT for my man. i too get phone calls and letters OFTEN (EVERY day for both)...and if i miss one day...i flip OUT. he's never gotten upset that i worry so much. believe me...he'd rather have me concerned than not concerned. :)
12-13-2005, 11:42 AM
My question is does your man get upset cause you worry too much or is it just mine gone loco?:eek:
Yeah B gets upset says I worry to much. I don't agree at all! :o I worry because I love him and I know that if I lost him I would be lost! He's my best friend and I'm not willing to treat that lightly. He tells me not to worry, begs me to relax but I can't. He doesn't try to talk me out of it anymore, he tells me he doesn't worry about stuff cause I do enough for us both. :p
12-13-2005, 12:01 PM
No...he does'nt get mad that I worry to much. He knows that I worry because I love him.
12-13-2005, 03:43 PM
i gets calls every day also sometimes 3 times a day and if he doesn`t call i start flipping out thinking something has happened. he doesn`t get mad he just says i am a cry baby
12-13-2005, 04:40 PM
I am definately a worrier,but my man doesn't get upset. He tells me in every leetter that its ok to smile. I have a true man so he assures me that there is no reason for me to worry myself. Yes prison is a scary place,but he is a grown man and it would make him upset if I didn't have enough confidence in him to know that he takes care of his bizness and can take care of himself.He says they give him 3 meals a day and a roof over his head. Anything else he is more than man enough to handle.
12-13-2005, 10:42 PM
I wouldn't really say he gets upset, but sometimes he says it brings him down. He is in the process of waiting to get sentenced, and I always think about if he get more time that we are prepared for him to get. He says he can't let his self think negative like that. His mind has to stay positive, which I understand and I try not to bring it up.
12-13-2005, 10:52 PM
I do worry about my husband, but i don't let it control my life. That is one reason why we don't talk on the phone. He's been in almost 6 years, and i have never talked to him on the phone. I receive letters 2-3 times perweek and he always lets me know that he is doing okay. So he doesn't get mad at me, but he comforts me when i do worry about him.~~~Brandi
12-14-2005, 08:26 AM
Thanks ladies for your input. Its been over a year now and he is still in county, he hasnt even gone to trial yet and I guess that is why I worry so much and let the stress get to me and it gets to him as well. I know he can take care of himself, I have no doubt in that, its just knowing "he has to" do it.
12-14-2005, 12:42 PM
I worry all the time and Ive cried numerous times on the phone and during visits with my boyfriend he doesnt get mad hes actually grateful that he has someone who loves him enough to worry like I do but at the same time he is always telling me to calm down and try not to worry so much because hes doing alright..
12-18-2005, 09:54 PM
i wouldn't say he gets mad but he does get annoyed sometimes when i worry about him, he says "don't worry about me, i'm gonna be alright"
but when it comes to something happening in my own life, like the other night, i cried my eyes out and he was very supportive.
i think we all worry about them, i know i do, especially right now since its been a few days with no phone call. i know the phones act up at his facility
all i can do is try to be calm, go about my business and not let it get to me:)