View Full Version : Do You Have A Son Or Daughter In Prison?


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chickie
09-02-2003, 05:42 PM
I have no other children, just Heather. All my time has been devoted to her. I raised her myself. Her father left me when I was 6 months along. She has never met him and he never came around again to find out he has a girl. I have no idea where he is in this world so all Heather has is me. Jeannette

joshsdad
09-02-2003, 06:50 PM
HI CHICKIE WELCOM TO PRISON TALK THANKS FOR THE REPALY I HAVE OTHER CHILDREN BUT THE ARE ALL MARRIED BUT MY SON JOSH HE HAS MADE ME PAY FOR MY RAISING I CALL HIM MY WILD CHILD HE REALLY IS AGOOD SON JUST MADE SOME WRONG CHOICES BUT WE WILL BE A CLOSER FAMIELY WHEN WE GET THOUR THIS THANKS AGAIN FOR THE REPLAY WISH YOU AND YOUR FAMILEY THE BEST LIFE HAS TO OFFER JOSHSDAD

joshsdad
09-02-2003, 07:04 PM
HI JANICEL THANKS FOR THE REPIALY GREAT TO HEAR FROM OTHER PEOPLE WHO ARE GOING THUR THE SAME THING THAT I AM SEEMS LIKE IT GIVES US A SPECIAL BOND TOGATHER ICAN ONLY THINK HOW HARG IT WAS ON YOU ALONE BUT YOU GIVE US ALL STREINGTH TO GET UP AND MAKE IT THRU ANOTHER DAY ALL THE BEST JUST HANG IN THIR TOMORROW WILL BE ANOTHER DAY JOSHSDAD

joshsdad
09-03-2003, 12:27 PM
hi paw 79 I HAVE OTHER CHILDREN TO BUT AS YOU SAID IT SEEMS TO BE A JUGGLIMG ACT BETWEEN MY SON JOSH WHO IS IN PRISON AND THR OTHER WHO ARE ON THE OUT SIDF HAVING A NORMAL LIFE I DO NOT THINK THE OTHERS KNOW HOW HARD THE CAN MAKE IT ON US WHO ARE TRING TO HOLD THE FAMILY TOGATHER I WILL NOT FORSAKE MY SON WHO IS IN KILBY STATE PRISON JOSHDAD:pissed: :fb:

joshsdad
09-03-2003, 12:27 PM
hi paw 79 I HAVE OTHER CHILDREN TO BUT AS YOU SAID IT SEEMS TO BE A JUGGLIMG ACT BETWEEN MY SON JOSH WHO IS IN PRISON AND THR OTHER WHO ARE ON THE OUT SIDF HAVING A NORMAL LIFE I DO NOT THINK THE OTHERS KNOW HOW HARD THE CAN MAKE IT ON US WHO ARE TRING TO HOLD THE FAMILY TOGATHER I WILL NOT FORSAKE MY SON WHO IS IN KILBY STATE PRISON JOSHDAD:pissed: :fb:

paw79
09-03-2003, 04:51 PM
Your right Joshsdad about them not knowing how hard they make it for us o I will never forsake my son either I write to him visit him and talk to him on the phone when he calls. It is a juggling act trying to balance the time. My other children are 22 and 20 them I am not to worry about they seem to be okay. It is my 14 year old daughter that has growned up with this upheavel for more then half her life. Pam

janicel
09-03-2003, 05:02 PM
I HAVE A DAUGHTER BUT ITS LIKE HAVING NO ONE, IM GLADE THAT I DONTHAVE ANYOTHER CHILDREN BECAUSE I KNOW THAT I WOULD NOT BEABLE TO DEAL WITH THEM, I WORK IN A SCHOOL AND SOMETIMES I TAKE THINGS OUT ON THE KIDS AND THATS SO UNFAIR, AND THAN THERE ARE TIMES WHEN I THINK THAT MAYBE IF I HAD ANOTHER CHILD I WOULDNT THINK ABOUT JOEY SO MUCH I DONT KNOW? JANICE

jerri
09-03-2003, 11:05 PM
Hey Joshsdad! I know how hard it is for you and how hard it will continue to be. I'm not a real good one to be very strong but then sometimes you surprise yourself. My son has only been home a little over a year and now he is back in. He was gone about four years and it seemed like an eternity. But I guess you have no choice but to muddle through it somehow. It just really stinks. I am so glad I found this site because everyone knows how it hurts and how hard it is. I wish I had found it a long time ago. Just hang in there and do your best. On the days when your son is having a hard time, it won't be easy but you have to be even stronger. Just do your best and then come on here and vent. We will all understand. I've done it and sometimes you just have to. So, keep writing. People here do care and understand. Peace.

im1finelibra
09-03-2003, 11:27 PM
Wow....there really are people out there who are going thru what I am. Thank god for all of you. Joshsdad, I also have 2 other children besides my son in prison, and I find myself over compensating them for the time i hve had to put in with my incarcerated child.. I sometimes wonder which is worse, the obvious gifts i give out of guilt, or the time i neglect from them seeing or thinking of Lee, and how he is, what he is doing..etc...

gin11153
09-09-2003, 02:40 AM
I am new to this list. My 23 year old son was sentenced to 15 months and is supposed to turn himself in 9/23 but is thinking of doing bootcamp instead so he can get out in 6 months to a halfway house and work(he has a degree in computer science from UCLA). I am destroyed about all this-crying every day and unable to work. If he does boot camp, he says we can't visit him at all for the 6 months-I will die. How do all you manage to cope?? My husband has lost about 20 lbs over this also. Please help me!!!!
Gail in So Calif
(e-mail address removed by moderator per PTO policy - please contact member via Private Messaging on PTO)

Barbara
09-09-2003, 08:51 AM
Hi Gail, welcome to PTO we will all be here to help you get through all of this. I sent you a PM and I will talk to you later tonight OK. Love Barb

Valerie
09-09-2003, 01:45 PM
Welcome to PTO Gail and I'm glad you found us. Yes you will make it through this tough time, we all will. And we are all here for each other.One thing grand about PTO is, it's always open!!!
Regards, Valerie

CET
09-09-2003, 07:08 PM
I don't have any guilt over my "kids" in prison, as I didn't raise them. Two of their siblings are my foster kids in permanent care with me. It makes me furious that their mom abandoned them in prison, without anyone knowing where they were. I knew my son was searching and searching for them when we were in Chicago. Then the woman who raised them a long time died, and I was the one to inform them. It was the first time I heard their voices. It IS time consuming! I send letters and photos, take the phone calls, send money to them, and books. I am the one to call the prison to see if they can get GED classes, or what is the parole plan, can he leave the state. Some of what a parent experiences is the same for me, and some of it is different. I am criticized sometimes for worrying about the young men in prison, and trying to help them, saying I should save my energy for the 4 kids in my home. I can't even explain why I feel that I just have to help them. One of them I'm closer to than the other. He's far away and I haven't been able to visit him. He was supposed to be able to leave the state. I'm planning on visiting him soon, if he wants me to come. He just violated parole and is back in. I don't even know what he looks like now. I believe that there are crucial times in a person's life that they really need help and that what others do makes a difference. I keep hoping that the four of them can be happy again some time, and be a family. The two in prison tell me over and over how important it is to hear from their family, and to be connected. So that is why I continue to be "mom" to them. Holley

joshsdad
09-09-2003, 07:24 PM
hi. gin11153 i am joshsdad my son josh went thru the boot camp system in alabama myself and his familly could visit him every sunday we could bring him his favorit lunch wheather home cooked or MCdonalds or tayco bell about you crying all of the time and your hubsan loising weight it is something only time will take care of just hang in thir stay on line with us and we all will make it thru this i found out that my son josh is going to frank lee youth center in alabama he will go thru the s. a. p.s prograham and he also has to complet his g. e. d. prograham so out of all the bad something good will hapen gin11153 any time you need to talk get on line and let it roll it really does help and the more you stay on line the more help you will get at least you have ahusban to talk to my wife ruth died 4.5 years ago hang in thir keep a good thought and smile it will get better joshsdad :D

joshsdad
09-09-2003, 08:40 PM
hi cet just hang in thir with them kids i cah tell you the will never forget it try to be as close to them as you cam if the ever needed some one to show them that some one cares it is now be the mom to them that the never had the will always love you for it no matter how hard it gets just show that some one on the outside cares thanks for people like you joshsdad

jammgor
09-13-2003, 07:26 PM
i have a son who has just been moved to centinela state prison--does anyone know anything about what (and how) we can send him money and other stuff--he's a political activist.
Does anyone know the fastest route to it from orange county around the crystal cathedral area? What are the visiting rules?

joshsdad
09-13-2003, 07:55 PM
hi jammgor welcom to prison talk i do not where this prison is but i can tell you how to find out when you pull up prison talk log in then run the scrool all the way down to calif. prisons punch in on calif prisons then go to what prison is your son in then ask where this prison if this does not work writeme back and i will find it for you all the best joshsdad:D :mad:

chickie
09-14-2003, 01:12 PM
Hi, I just saw my daugther over the week end. When she went back to her room Saturday she was to move to a intense drug section of the prison. She is not in there for any drug or alcohol related crimes. How can they justify paying for this? She is to have no job and this lasts for 6 months. She is in counceling sessions all day long. No TV, no radio's, and no visits Monday to Friday. She is 350 miles away from me and when I get a chance to visit I do. No matter what day it is. She is so upset and crying like it was her first day in prison all over again. Now I know there are enough people in that prison to fill up this program who really do have drug or alcohol charges. I can't do anything for her and my gut is in knots all over again. Have any of your children had to do this kind of program? How can I help her get through this one. I know nothing of drugs. Jeannette

Jadire
09-25-2003, 01:10 PM
Hi Ms. Barbara and all who share here:

My name is Jade, and I have a son in Bradshaw State Jail, Henderson, Texas. He is only 18.

I was very surprised to find this site. i was just looking for information on the jail, and that's how I found this forum. However, finding it gave me an anticipatory hope that perhaps I could somehow keep in touch w/ my son through this medium. Maybe someone else will have a son there, or someone w/ a connection that I can access...I didn't know.

I am in the military, and on my way to Korea for two years. It kills me that I will not be w/ my son in his time of need, so soon into his incarceration. I wish there was something that I could do to compensate for my absence.

I feel like I have failed him his whole life in this way, and yet, once again...I am about to leave him without. I truly love my son--sometimes I think more than any of my other children. Perhaps its just a subconcious awareness that he needs me more than my other two do.

Anyway...I'm just letting you know I am here too, praying for both yours and mine, and asking you to do the same.

My son has a birthday in November..on the 15th...I won't be here but I read something about Birthday cards being sent. I would love to know more about that.

Jade

chickie
09-25-2003, 04:44 PM
Hi and welcome Jade. You can help you son even from Korea. Write as much as you can to him. Post cards and greeting cards are great if you don't have a lot to say. Mail him pictures of Korea and your surroundings. Send money orders to him so he can get a few goodies for himself. How long of a sentence does he have? Keep the money orders and mail going to him no matter where you are in the world. I will send him a Birthday card for sure. Mine is Nov. 5. Keep in touch with us here at PTO and you can come and vent anytime. You will be in my prayers..... Jeannette

joshsdad
09-25-2003, 09:22 PM
hi jadire welcom to p t o will be glad to help any i can
i will be glad to see that your son gets a b day card as the others said no matter where you are stay close to your son by mail let him know that you might be far away,but that you will still be thir if he every needs some one it is now pm his address and you will be suprised at the letters he will get, i sure would not wont to be in your shoes it is hard , on us being close to our love ones i cant think how hard it must be on you but rember it is going to be double hard on your son take care if we can help just let us know all the best joshsdad

Velma Jean Reye
09-26-2003, 10:14 AM
Dear Barbara, My name is Velma and I live in Klamath Falls, Oregon and I have a 23 year old son who is in Tiptonville, Tennessee Prison for Life, and has been there since 2000. My question is. How do I get ahold of my son on-line through the prison where he's at or get ahold of someone else there who could contact him? Do they or my son have to be a member on-line through the prison or what? Sorry but I desperately am in need to find out,Because I accadently stumbled onto the Prison chat on-line system on the internet a few days ago and I have registered but I still don't know exactly what to do except that I want to chat with him or someone who knows him,Please helpme figure this out? Can the Prisoner talk on-line or not? Thanks Much, Velma Reyes from Klamath Falls, Oregon .

Barbara
09-26-2003, 05:35 PM
I am so sorry to tell you but there is not internet in prison, what you saw was a chat room with people like us talking about their loved ones in prison. What I can do for you is put you son on our birthday and Christmas card list. That way there will be a lot of people that will send him greeting cards. How long has it been since you saw your son? Love Barb

peanutdptx
09-28-2003, 12:46 PM
hi -- my name is patti--im new here and this is my first post.i just got back from seeing my son ( tony).he is in navasota,texas at the luther unit. it takes me an hour and half to go see him from the houston area, which is much better than traveling to new boston where he use to be. my husband and i would sleep all day saturday, then leave about midnight to arrive in new boston at six in the morning for our two hour visit, then drive back to houston. it was hard but well worth it to see and hug my son once again.tony went in at the age of 18 and at times i dont like what i see as in the way he is growing up. he is 20 now but he is an only child and thru right or wrong that he has done, there will always be support,and unconditional love as much as it breaks my heart we all must stay strong and pray for all. we have been getting contact visits for a while now, as i told my son if i get contact visits i know things are ok and he hasnt gotton a case, but if i have to see him behind plexy glass and phone i know something is up. his birthday is jan.21 and is always looking for a pen pal. if anyone wants to write to him just email me and ill glady send his address. im glad i found this web -- i have a good feeling about this and hope to hear from others.

Barbara
09-28-2003, 01:03 PM
Hi my names is Barbara and I take care of the birthdays and Christmas card program here at PTO. Please PM me with your son's info just like you write it on an envelope and I will put him on the list to receive cards. OH Welcome to PTO :) Love Barb

Northwest Mom
09-28-2003, 01:36 PM
:wave: Hi Patti! Welcome to PTO! Glad you have joined our family! Do send your son's B-day information to Barb. She has started this wonderful program and it means so much to our loved ones in prison. Hope to see you around! HUGS!

peanutdptx
09-28-2003, 08:47 PM
thank-you for the welcomes!! yes i sent my sons b-day to barb. i know he will like that very much. it will help his spirits lift up also. im still learning my way around here so i hope all will be patient with me for slow answers back to anyone!! --take care and love to all

Jadire
09-29-2003, 07:49 AM
Hi there!...

I appreciate your response. Thank you also for the advice on how I can continue to support my son even from "across tha water".

My son got ten years, and I was told by his case manager that he would be eligible for parole by 2008, after five years, assuming that everything has gone well.

Sorry for the late reply, had a bit of trouble navigating through the forum.

Thanx again,

Jade

FL Angel
10-03-2003, 08:56 AM
Hi, I have a 25 yr old son in Wyoming prison in Rawlins. He's only been there 2 weeks. I have received letters, but his first attempt at making a phone call failed due to the "wonderful" way phone companies handle inmate phone calls. Hope to get that resolved by early nest week. He's never been in any type of trouble before, this has been really tough. I am glad I found this website and the support. In advance thank all of you!

Barbara
10-03-2003, 09:04 AM
Welcome FL Angel, I am sorry to hear about your son. You will find a great deal of love and support here at PTO I am sure. Why don't you give me his INFO and I will put him on the Birdthday and Christmas list so he will get cards from us here at PTO. I am running out the door for work right now but I will check with you when I get home tonight. Love Barb

kathyb
10-05-2003, 11:01 AM
To asmith5240,
I know just what you mean about spending so much energy and time on your child in prision that it almost seems like my youngest son takes back seat. I talk to him a lot about my feelings towards his broher and himself and how I love them both more then live. I also tell him I thank God everyday that he is such a good kid, because I don't think I could handle it if he was like his brother.LOL

831cheecana
10-08-2003, 02:07 AM
Barbara my son just recently arrived in NKSP (Delano recieving) he will be there for 60 to 90 days I understand I cannnot visit him or recieve phone calls from him. Can I write to him can I send him a letter? or envolopes so he can write back? I feel so lost not knowing if he is doing well or just to tell him that I love him he just turned 18 I need to know whats up with him. Can somebody reply with some information about recieving letters please. I feel so helpless I just want to let my son know that I love him. Thank you I would be eternally grateful if someone would reply.

Gracias

samiam158
10-08-2003, 05:51 AM
Welcome Latina...:wave:....i'm pretty sure that they can recieve letters....why don't you call the prison and ask....as soon as my son goes somewhere different....i dial 1-area code-then555-1212....course it could be easier...i just like talking to some one in person...to make sure....hope this helps...

samiam158
10-08-2003, 05:52 AM
ps in case you didn't know that is national directory assistance....

FL Angel
10-08-2003, 02:44 PM
Groovie Latina,

You can't send envelopes, paper or stamps as far as I know. They have to get those supplies from the commissary. Once he is settled in he will be able to call. My son was able to write right away. He is in Wyoming, so I don't know if those rules differ from prison to prison.

Barbara
10-08-2003, 10:03 PM
Hi Groovie Latina, sorry I am so late with this but it looks like you have already received some help. I think he can write and if you have an address on him he will get your letters. I also think that you can send in paper and envelopes and put some money on his books. It is alway best to call the prison and find out all of these things for sure. OH Welcome to PTO. Love Barb

grammyk
10-08-2003, 10:26 PM
Calling the prison is the best advice. I went to www.goggle.com, typed in the name of the prison and got some information including the phone #. You will need to know your son's CDC# to ask specific questions about him. My son was attacked 10 weeks ago and I've made 39 calls to the prison and talked to many people. If someone didn't have an answer for me, I asked to be referred to someone who did. And, I keep names and notes on everyone I talk to. I got the most action when I mentioned talking to the Warden or sending in an attorney to get at the truth of the attack. I've learned Mom's and Dad's do have rights where their adult children are concerned. You just have to be persistent. At Corcoran State here in CA, the Inmates can always receive writing paper, envelopes, and stamps, as well as paperback books mailed directly from a company, no matter what area he is in. I use Amazon.com. Yes, they can buy these writing materials in the Commissary but, they cost more. Hope you hear from him soon, Groovie. Let us know, ok?
Donna K

831cheecana
10-09-2003, 07:44 AM
Donna gracias for helping me, I am so sorry to hear that your son got hurt is he going to be alright? Really thank you so much this is really hard for me to adjust to my son being in prison he got 7yrs max. No prior convictions a clean record !!!! they tried him as an adult he was 17 not going to have him around for a long time again thank you Donna

Groovie

831cheecana
10-09-2003, 08:10 AM
I would like to thank the groovy ladies that replied and for making me feel soooooooo welcome here at Prison Talk Online this really means alot to me gracias for everything. I will let you groovy ladies know if I hear from my son need to call the prison so I can find out if my son can recieve writing material thank you this really means alot to me

Groovie

jerri
10-09-2003, 10:21 PM
Hi everyone. I haven't written on here for so long. No one probably remembers me, but I sure remember all the support I got here. I can't tell you what that has meant to me. I see there are alot of new subscribers. I'm sure you will all get alot of support and comfort just like I did. God bless you all. The update on my boy is pretty good. He has been sent to a rehab about an hour or so from home. The big charges were all dropped-thank God-or he could have been looking at 10 years or more. Now he will only be gone a few months. I don't know if I could have gone through another sentence. He was just released about a year and a half ago or so after about 5 years. He is just now 22. He was sentenced as an adult but yet still a juvenile. I pray to God everyday that this is the end of this whole nightmare. I guess that's the best thing to do. I want to say thank you to everyone for listening to me and helping me through this horrible time. I will pray for all of you and I hope I can still come on here and talk to you guys. Again, thank you all and may God bless you and your loved ones. Peace.

mack855
10-12-2003, 12:22 PM
hi barb/ my nephew was gave a 25 year sentence for 2nd degree murder down from 1st. no parole no good time.his name is jerry hardin 00365076n.w.c.c. tiptonville tenn .he would love to get letters from outside.

Barbara
10-12-2003, 12:39 PM
Hi, Mack, could you give me his info just like you write it on an envelope. I will put him on the Birthday and Christmas list. Love Barb OH PS I will need his date of birth

Dannysmom
10-12-2003, 09:44 PM
I Just found this site today. I was talking to Joshsdad and he told me aabout the site . I am so excited. My son is in prison and has been for 4 yrs and still has aabout 2 years to go. He has 5 children and it is hard. The rules in some of the Missouri prisons for visiting has kept his wife from taking all the children to see him at the same time. My son was just moved from one prison to the other so I have to get his address for you . I can not remember where I have put it but it will not be hard to find. I will post it here when I find it he would love all the cards on his birthday which is Oct. 26th . I think they get to feeling like no one is there for them . I have made phone calls for other inmates that are friends of my sons when they were all moved because the prison they were in was made more secure and they were to low a security to stay . I called mothers to let them know their sons wwere moved to the new prison and trying to call them. I would like to join in the card sending .
Dannysmom:)

Dannysmom
10-13-2003, 09:41 AM
Barbara,
I have not figured out the pm or how to return a pm yet but I would like to help in any way I can with the birthday and the Christmas Cards. I think it is very important we let these guys and gals know we are here and we care for them. ANY month is fine with me just send me the names and addresses and I will send to them. I make cards on my computer and they look like store bought except I personalize them my kids all love them.
My sons birthday is October 23 , 1967. His address is


Daniel Parker 504951
WRDCC
HU 6
3401Faraon
St. Joseph, Mo. 64506

I just wish I had known about this four years ago.
Dannysmom:)

booba
10-14-2003, 01:50 PM
it's a terrible, empty feeling when you have a daughter in prison. We need to pray and support one another.

samiam158
10-14-2003, 03:33 PM
booba..it is terrible to have any child(really grown child) in prison...my son is in county right now and so is the mother of my next grandchild(son's girlfriend) ...i can only imagine what she(girlfriends mother) is going through...i want to talk to her so bad...but she is probably like any mom...in the aspect of why would my daughter be with "that"....and i have told her(girlfriend) the same thing too....he's my son and i don't want her to be with him...especially having my grandchild....no father is going to be there to help for a very long time....keep strong booba... all we can do is love em like a parent can...

Northwest Mom
10-14-2003, 04:18 PM
Dannysmom: Just wanted you to know that I have sent a Birthday card to your son today.

Dannysmom
10-14-2003, 08:38 PM
Thank you very much He will appreciate that very much .
I love this site. I do not think art understands why I am here so much . I have carried this burden by myself for four years it is like the stress is gone now I can converse with people who know how I feel. Art is my boyfriend I live with. My sons dad has to be conjoled to do anything for him. He will tell my son no and I will talk to him and he will do it.
My son said tonight they are not getting their money until December it takes that long for the book work to get done. These prison systems are there to make money and to heck with the people in them.
Dannysmom:eek:

GSPack
10-15-2003, 01:22 PM
Hi Everyone incldng Jadere,Daannysmom and Janicel and any Newbies I missed. I too have a 25yr old daughter n Prison here in Alabama. She has served almost 5 yrs , 1 of wich was on Work Release, violated rules by leaving her job(not escape thank God) and was given 6 months punishment back aat the "Big House". She was eligible for parole fter Sept 2003, but no date(Oct 2003) has been set for the hearing as Our staate is behind big time! It has especially been hard on me as I have been raising her youngest daughter since she was 3 months old(she turns 4 Feb 2004).( I am disabled with arthritis, Hp dsorder and Asthma) This place has really given me support just knowing other prents are having the same worrys or feelings I have. got cll from he Monday night tht upset me so bad, I didnt know what to say to her.
She is so tired of Her "place" she waants to get out. Part of me started to yell at her "who got you there?" Not me!" But I just listened and let her rant and rave on. She was mad that heer "sugar daddy" had not sent her $ or even wrote her, even me( I have been very lax here lately) She wont ask me for it as she knows it is thght and that I am raaising her daughter is enouugh on my part. I havent even written this week for fear of being too angry and wanting to say..".You must do the time and see what they tell you after your review which is after Oct 24th. Maybe they will let you get on the ?Work Release list again." How do you not feel angry with them when they try to put the blame on someone other than them selves. Sorry didnt mean for this to be so long. Am sending cards to all those who listed ther Childs addys.!
Love and keep you chins up!
GSPack

samiam158
10-15-2003, 01:29 PM
yeap gspack...how can you not have some anger....i really hope that my son's girlfriend's mom (did that make sense) finds pto...i am afraid she is going to be raising our grandchild also...maybe we will be "lucky" and the g/f will just get probation....still...i feel more bad for the g/f mom than i do myself....i've been in this situation along time and this is a first for the "other " grandma to be...

booba
10-15-2003, 01:34 PM
my daughter is in bedford hills until 2009. does anyone know of any bus service from rochester to bedford hills?

GSPack
10-15-2003, 01:48 PM
Thank you Samiam, yes it will be hard on the "other grndma", and from the tone of your post she blames your son for here dughters "mistake". We did the same to my daughter "hsband" if you can call him that. He was stupid and he used my daughter thru her children. But she could have called us told us he ws forcing her to break the law using threts against her and the bbys nd we would have come and got her, but she chose not to. So I place half the blame on her and half the blme on him! Bad part is he mde no contact with us for 2 years regarding his dugfhter and he wrote wanting to make contact like pictres and lettes since his mother died a while back and his neice almost died and then he was stabbed 4 times in a fight. Oh did I menton he was sent to prison on charges of Sex with a minor. We never have answered the letter as i dont feel she neds to be in touch with this "sperm" donor until she is old enough to make that decision on her own. Am I wrong? In my heart I think I am right.

GSPack

samiam158
10-15-2003, 02:21 PM
What I think is if it was my daughter ....yeah you are right....but my son did not force her to do anything ....it was two "soulmates"(hers and his words) that brought them to gether....i think they were trying for a bonnie and clyde ....but that is neither here nor there as far as I'm concerned...i really want to know my grandchild...this kids dad sucks the big one....he probably won't be out for at least 8 years if he's lucky...and this poor child...it is a part of me...but...how can i make up for a gone daddy...or a wacko mom for that matter...i just hate when people don't have a thought about what happens when you bring a child into this world....to them it is all about "love"...i already have 2 other granddaughters from another J"woman" that i have alot of contact with...but still....she the "other" mom continues to have un protected sex...to "prove" her love....and all these babies being born...just upset me so bad....but still this is my grandbaby...and i want to know it....i just hope other grandma...finds this okay...cause i think i have alot to offer and lots of love to give...and i feel the more people that love the "kids" the better chance they have at having a more productive life...oh well...i'll step off my soap box now

grammyk
10-15-2003, 07:21 PM
Whenever my son, Chad writes me a letter expressing any disrespect for what I've written him, I let him know right away I will not stand for it. I have 4 son's and that's the way it has always been. They do not have to agree with what I say and I've always been open to their right to disagree but, it will be done with respect! Chad immediately wrote back and apologized.
On Grandmothers: I really feel the trials and errors we made raising our own children gives us gives us an insight to the inner being of our Grandkids. Most of us are given the opportunity of spending more time listening to them and just loving and even spoiling them, in a sense. Through that opportunity, they can feel more open to discuss things they might not know how to talk to their parents about. I feel the biggest part of my responsibility to my Grandkids is to help them see, right or wrong, their parents are doing what they feel is best for them and it is because they love them so much they ant to protect them. Is this making sense? No Grandparent should ever have to be put in a position where they have to take full responsibility for a Grandchild but, sadly there are cases where there is no other choice.
I am so proud of you for seeking out and wanting to be part of your Grandchild's life, no matter what the circumstances are.
Donna K

Dannysmom
10-15-2003, 08:10 PM
Yes there is times we feel angery and I feel we have the right to be angry. We worked to raise them the best we could and this is what happened . They are still our kids and we need to have the love of Christ toward them . I am not saying it is easy but we do not know what goes on where they are. They do not tell us all of it. I am sure I would want out of there also. I keep having to tell my son his wife is very busy with two boys in football a full time job and five kids to take care of I do not know how she does it.
Hang in there it will get better hopefully.
Dannysmom

GSPack
10-15-2003, 10:34 PM
It takes a special mother/grandmother to taake on another young child. Ths little one of mine has been a handful, giving me an education I never imagned I would have and show me wht I mssed while my 5 were growing up as I had to work all of their younger lives. t has not been easy, as I faced negativity from my 'new' inlaws(even told me to get out) when the 1st found out I was not giving up this infant to no one.(hubby and I had only been married 6 mosnths) NOW...??? They worry that when her mother is set free tht she will take this angel from us all and we willl never see here again.. NOT going to happen! Her mother knows all to well whaat it is like to be taken from someone they love dearly. I only hope "mommmy" comes home soon to help this old Grandma..she's getting tired...LOL

Dannysmom
10-16-2003, 01:07 PM
I can certainly relate to that even though my daughter is not the one in prison right now she is in the physic ward at the hospital trying to get straightend out . I have her son every other weekend and this grandma is not for this job. I get tired to easy. My son left five at home when he went to prison and I do not know how my daughter in law does it.

GSPack
10-17-2003, 09:34 AM
Wow What a platefull your DIL has with 5 to rase by herself. She has to be strong woman and my hat goes off to her in respect! I m so sorry to hear your daughter is in the hospital, but I am sure that is whee she will recieve her best help. My payers go out to you and yours Dannysmom!
GammyK: yo couldnt have said it anybetter about the trail and eror. Like Bill Cosby always says: they dont come with directions and each child is just a little different! I think sometimes this is the Lords way of giving some of us a second chance!

Rev. Donna
10-21-2003, 02:33 AM
Wow...I am gushing with emotion...I don't know where to begin...You are all very strong and I so admire you for that. I have not been strong...I have been heartbroken and numb...angry and outa control...stupefied and a complete emotional wreck. You are all an inspiration to me sincerely! I asked and God provided...

My baby just turned 20 years old last May inside county jail. He robbed some elite historical downtown shoppes after hours, late at night. He was held without bail for 8 months awaiting trial...during that time, and even before he was caught the family was in a tither because of a unique opportunity that came our way. It seemed Mama was about to inherit a Coffee Shop. Mama (Me) has been a Barista (Coffee/espresso bartender) for years so the opportunity was a step towards financial independence (one would think), or at least towards more freedom of direction anyway. The business was in California, in a small Northern town we had lived in before during the early 90's. After much much deliberation we decide we cannot say no. My child in particular points out to me how this offer is what I have waited and hoped for, for the past 15 years. And just days after we give notice at our jobs and residence and lock in the deal...My boy goes down. Ironically enough one of the places he is accused of robbing is the very place I have worked in and managed for 5 years. Now I find out that I am a suspect ( they considered that I may have been helping him) and that he is indeed the guilty party. They have his fingerprints, video tape, shoeprints...all of it. As I am escorted home by an officer to let them look thru my car, I see my son for the very last time a free man.
Now how is a mother supposed to leave her child for a stupid business opportunity????? No one seemed to understand that question...everyone thought I was crazy to consider not going after all...I even saw a clinical psychologist and postponed everything for awhile...My son was desperate that I go, he was afraid that if I didn't it would be his fault, that somehow he would have ruined my future....(backwards or what?) We have always been poor financially, but rich in so many other ways. I love my son with all that I am. He is my life...but now here I sit in Northern California, learning how to run my own shop, paying $700-900 a month in phone bills to talk with Shaun, 3,500 miles away from where he now sits with a 15 year sentence for thefts totalling less than $2000.00. Hell my phone bills have been more than twice that....so far. It blows my mind to think of the theft now being committed legally to all of us just to hang on to our loved ones, to our babies. But if I didn't have this business now I couldn't afford the costs of having a child in prison...God willing I will never be a wealthy woman but I will always have enough to hang on to my baby.
Everything feels so IRONIC. The guilt rips me to pieces every day while I remain as professional as I can serving the public. Every stupid little tiny thing sends me reeling with memories and fears until my heart grips me in terror and I have to smile at the next customer and make their mocha. Does any of this ever begin to make sense? I have to fly to go see my son and he is so scared something will happen on the plane that he doesn't want me to come unless i drive and then how ridiculous does that sound he says...drive 5 days for a 2 hour visit...lol. But i will as soon as I can get a vehicle and a week off of work.
Hmm...I have rambled so much I have thoroughly confused myself. I think I just wanted to say hello, and thank you so much for showing me a little light. I hope I can be as strong as some of you soon. Good speed to all of you and your children...Peace

Dannysmom
10-21-2003, 10:58 AM
Hang in there we all have felt the same as you. You will find some kind people here who will help you . It is never easy to have our kids in prison. My son is working on his third sentence. He is to be paroled in Feb 05. I just hope he has learned something this time. If there is anything I can help you with I will be happy to do that. By the way where is your son in prison? It takes five days to get there? That is quite a drive. I can not imagine traveling five days to get to visit my son.
Dannysmom

Rev. Donna
10-21-2003, 06:17 PM
Thank you Dannysmom. Shaun, my son, is in ECI in Westover Maryland. I am in Northern California. It is 3500 miles one way, but i haven't seen him since last December. I really need to see him...at least once a year. He called me today and told me that they will be placing him in a Cognitive Behavior Modification program soom, it's a 15 month program. He says they told him that the parole board looks favorably upon it. I guess that is good news...Eh?

Ah, God Love you people. I stayed up late last night reading all of the posts in here and I had one of the hardest days ever with feeling like part of my business. From the moment I woke up today I felt so removed from this life here in California...I think just knowing that you all are out here and in the same pain brought me a certain comfort to not be so alone, but it brought so much more distress to know so many feel the way I feel. It was just harder to ignore it today and put on that happy customer service face I have to wear. Maybe finding PTO is bringing things to the surface...

Is Danny close to you?

Dannysmom
10-21-2003, 06:24 PM
Yes wygi8 my son is about an hour and a half from me. I am lucky I guess. His birthday is thursday and his dad is going to see him. I went to see him this last Saturday and he calls me all the time . He called to night.
Have you read about the Birthday and Christmas cards we send from here to inmates ? My son called to night all excited he received three cards from people here. He said my name was called in mail call today. I send cards I think it is one way to show we care about them.
Hang in there wygi8 we will make it together. Our sons are worth it. Think of the pain God had when his son was crucified. I guess the pain we have right now is something like what he had. If you ever need to talk pm me I will be glad to talk to you anytime.
Dannysmom

grammyk
10-21-2003, 09:06 PM
I think having a child in prison defines a whole new meaning of "letting go". Most are guilty because they made a wrong decision and now have to take responsibility for that choice. It's so hard, as a parent, to not find fault with themselves for mistakes they made in raising them. I saw my son, Chad going down a very destructive path which could have lead to a worse case scenario. I made one of the toughest decisions of my life. I turned him in. Little did I know, he was already in deeper than I thought. He was acting out of anger and revenge and it was the abuse of "alcohol" that made him go too far. At first, he was very angry with me but, he has since understood it was my love for him that made me do what I did. The positive side of this tragedy is that through many conversations and lately, many 4-10 page (legal pad size paper), we have learned so much about each other. The worse part is knowing the dire challenges he is facing where he is. Loving and supporting them is the very best thing we can do for them and for ourselves.
wgi8, the news about your son, Shaun is awesome. By the way, I have a Shaun also :~). It really helps to hear good things happening in the system.

GSPack
10-21-2003, 10:40 PM
Thank you GammyK. You made me feel so much better tonight after reading the bgining of your post.. The last few calls from my daughter have been like..I am tired of this place and i want to get out of here. Do something Mom, make them let me come home." Like I had put her there! I dont think so, but at the same time I am told uncondtional love for your children. Makes you want to battle to the ends of the earth and back, but instead verywhere you turnall you find is a very hard brick WALL! But there is no one tovent out your frustration. No one to hear how YOU feel, how YOU hurt. How some days you want to just sit down in a chair and cry untl you cant cry anymore. But you look at your daughter/son's child watching cartoons and you think.,..No I have to be strong for this "victim". I cant break down and fall to pieces, because this sweet inocent child needs ME more than anyone else in the world does right now, becasue she has no one else! So as I choke back the tears and take deep breathes, I smile as she looks over at me and says."I luv you MawMaw"

trainwreck
10-24-2003, 09:10 AM
hi, im andrea with a 20 year old son in prison. Friends and family dont understand the things i am going through. They keep saying that he made the wrong choiced and put himself in prison and that i should just accept it and let go. Easier said than done. i know he put himself in there, but it doesnt make it any easier for me and my family. I live in Maine, and im looking for any chat lines that may be available for parents of children in prison. If anyone could help me out i would appreciate it. it would be nice to talk to people who understand exactly what we are going through. ty

joshsdad
10-24-2003, 11:24 AM
hi andrea hoe are you? fine i hope
my name is joshsdad or charles you found the best place for help i also have a 20 year old son in prison in alabama at prison talk the are many people who are in mine & your shoes the have lead me thourh many bad days the have been a tremondous help to me as the will to you we are here just p m we will help in any we can you can get an anser to any ? here once again welcom joshsdad

samiam158
10-24-2003, 01:27 PM
hi andrea....like chas says we are here ...if not to advise ....but to listen...i have a son also in the system...and god only knows how long he will be in....if you need to talk...pm me...this place was my life line in the beginning and still continues to be although i don't spend half as much time on here earlier as i did in those beginning days...

joshsdad
10-24-2003, 02:25 PM
HI ANDREA!!!!!!!!
JOSHSDAD AGAIN I KNOW WELL WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT!!!!WITH THE FRINDS& FAMILY!!!!THE HAVENT WALKED A MILE IN MINE & YOUR SHOES, UNTILL YOU HAVE BEEN THIR YOU CAN NOT GIVE ADVISE TO SOMEONE.
I KNOW YOU WILL FIND ALL THE HELP YOU NEED ON PRISON TALK. WE ALL HAVE BEEN WHERE YOU ARE AT.
THAT SON OF YOURS NEED SOMEONE NOW MORE THAN HE EVER HAS JUST KEEP ON LOVING HIM AS I KNOW YOU WILL.
BE SURE & GET HIM ON THE B_DAY & CHRISTMAS CARD LIST
WE ARE HERE WHEN YOU NEED US.!!!!!!YOU WILL GO THOUR THE ANGER& CRYING STAGE GET ON HERE & JUST VENT IT ALL OUT!!! IT REALLY HELPS & THAT IS WHAT WE ARE HERE FOR
P M WHEN YOU NEED TO
:cuffs: :pissed: :confused: JOSHSDAD

grammyk
10-24-2003, 05:26 PM
Hi Andrea, let's face it, some people are just "stupid"! I'm going through the same thing with my family. At least my friends are very supportive. Everyone makes a bad choice at one time or another. And, many commit crimes, they just don't get caught. The ironic thing in my case, is my two older son's spend most of their free time in their churches and supporting those friends. They forget how they taunted and teased and even drank and used drugs around their little brother. Even sharing with him at times. I was working and way too trusting. I have recently caused them to remember and suggested they could have even contributed to the direction his life took. Yes, our son's made the wrong choice and need to take responsibility for their actions but, we still have the responsibility to love and support and guide them through the process. Sometimes you just have to ignore ignorance and do what you know is right. Just don't fall into that trap of feeling guilty. I was not the "perfect" mother and I apologized to all 4 of my son's for it. Anyway, this is the place, Andrea. You are in awesome company with people who know exactly how you feel and are eager to be your family and friend.
Love,
Donna K

lbingaman
10-25-2003, 07:25 AM
I have just discovered this incredible website and have read many of the posts here! all of you are awesome people and i wish i could hug all of you! I am a mom of a kid spending some time in the state prison system of michigan. He has 5 years max. to spend. It has been the most difficult thing in my life. giving birth is easier. my biggest heartache is that my son has a seizure disorder that was well controlled before his incarceration and since that time he has 3 episodes and 2 seizures in one day-something that has never happened before. come to find out he did not get his medication for 3 days. now i am a nurse and i worked in a correctional facility. i am just so appalled and angry that this could occur. i never once treated any inmate like this. they all deserve humane treatment and respect no matter what charges they are in there for. people make mistakes...yes, sometimes they have to pay for those mistakes by serving time but they are still human and deserve to be treated as such. fortunately i have been able to have contact visits with my son but not often since i work midnites and it is hard for me to drive the 3 hours away after working all nite. I also think that the cards for holidays, etc is a wonderful idea and would like to get included on this so someone please tell me more about this so we can all support each other and our kids!!! God knows they need all of us as one big family to support them in the good times and the bad.
Love Laurie

grammyk
10-25-2003, 06:14 PM
Hi Laurie. Welcome aboard! The same thing has happened with my son, Chad a few times. He is on an anti-depressant and anxiety medication as well as ones for migraines and high cholesterol. Every time he is moved it takes about a week for his medication to catch up with him. This last move was very traumatic because he was attacked and raped by 4 guy's in his cell when he got back from work one night. He tried to commit suicide and was thrown into a very small cell, nude with only a small blanket. He has said he now has an idea of what Hell must be like. He has been in Protective Custody (PC) for the past 3 months as they investigate his case and is moved to the prison of his choice. PC is for criminals who have committed crimes in which their lives would be in danger if put on the main line. Crimes against children for instance. Chad has been having a very rough time as he feels he is being punished more than being protected. He was sentenced for 11 years for multiple burglary's. He has 7 years to go. He is at Corcoran State in CA waiting to be transferred to Salinas State which is closer to me. I'm kind of upset today because I was finally able to go see him (4 hour drive). Has an appointment, which is required for PC inmates, at 10 a.m. We only get an hour and they didn't get us in until 10:25 and made us leave at 11. Chad was very angry and I'm concerned his rage may have gotten him into trouble. My medical condition of being in the in the last stages of a lung disease made the trip very hard for me, so I seldom get to see him. I know things will be better tomorrow and have to trust that the C/O's will understand Chad's frustration and go easy on him. Thanks for listening. Venting is so good for the soul :~)
Donna K

angel1954
10-25-2003, 06:34 PM
hi i have a son in prison. he went in at 18 he is now 25.
he got mixed up with the wrong people & drugs,but i still stand by him it has been a long 7 yrs with over 5 more to go

Barbara
10-25-2003, 07:47 PM
Hi Donna, I am so sorry to hear how your visit went I will be thinking of both of you.

Angie, I also have a son in prison and I know how tough it is for both of you. Why don't you give me his name and Info like you write it on an envelope Plus date of birth and I will put him on the Birthday and Christmas list so we can send him greeting cards. Love Barb

grammyk
10-25-2003, 11:03 PM
Thanks Barb. You, my lady, are in my thoughts and prayrs so often. How do you keep up with all of us?

Angie, I am so glad you found us. This is a place where you can really believe it when someone says, "I know how you feel". Hope to hear more from you.
Donna K

Ralph'sSupermom
10-26-2003, 02:37 AM
:cuffs: I also feel that I was sentenced with my son. It has been the hardest thing for me. I have been taking Celexa for the depression, the Dr. found the right dosage finally. The one benefit of taking this medicine is that it is great for menopause. It helps with the hot flashes, according to my GYN Dr. My son and I are very close, always have been. His problems began when he chose the wrong person to be his friend. His so called friend committed home invasion burg. and accused my son of participating. Since he did not want to take the full blame. He called my Son to pick him up, since he needed a ride. He went, then realized what that person had done. My son did not do the crime, but since that young man (who at 19 has two strikes againest him) claimed my son helped him. Guilt by association. Then he got himself arrested while out on bail, with a poss. charge. That added bail inhacement to his sentence. He settled on a 32 month sentence no more, no less. With time served he should do 24 months. What makes it hard for me is that I am disabled. I had a five level lower back fusion. Travel is hard for me. It was Ok knowing that he was in San Quentin for reception. That was close by. Then he was transferred to North Kern State Prison by Bakersfield to start reception again. I found out that if and when I can visit (while in reception) it is only an 1 hour visit, through a glass window. I have not seen my son since Sept. 16, that day he was in court for sentenceing. He was shipped out to San Quentin Sept. 19. We were not notified until my son's fiance, and ex-husband went to visit on the 20th. Then on Oct. 3,2003 he was transferred to NKSP. I have sent money and letters and until now he still has not received not any of them. Thank God that he has been able to write. God has put some great men there that have given my son envelopes and paper to write home. I pray for them and my son for God to protect and guide them. The letters I have received have been a relief to my soul. I just pray that the time he spends in prison will not change his personality or his heart and mind. I THANK YOU for starting the thread. I am not computer savvy, but I hope to be understood. Any help would be appreciated. I will post my son's info once he is out of reception and in main line.

Thank You,
Maria S.

samiam158
10-26-2003, 04:38 AM
hi maria and welcome...hopefully you will find as much comfort here as i have....take a look around and stay in touch.. {{{{{hugs}}}}}

Yosemitejim
10-26-2003, 06:08 AM
Maria,

My son was sentenced August 18th with very similar sentencing. He also traveled the same San Quentin to North Kern State Prison reception path. I certainly can relate to your pain.

Take care and we are with you along the way.

Jim

Ralph'sSupermom
10-26-2003, 02:15 PM
:wave: Thank you everyone for Welcoming me. YosemiteJim, I am so glad to finally talk to someone that is going through the same prisons (SQ & NKSP). If anyone can answer some questions I have. What is reception? Why do inmates have to start the procedure all over again when sent to another prison? When filing a hardship case what are the chances of it happening? I have a lot of other questions, but these are the most important ones at the moment. I read my son's letters telling me what an insperation I am to him. That it is not my fault!! If he would have listened to my warnings of his so-called friend(s) he would not be in prison now. He tells me that now he realizes that I was not out to ruin his fun. That I have the sixth sense (vibes) about people. And he should have listened. He repeatedly tells me that I am his Supermom. That I did a great job raising him and his brothers. And to never doubt it. Thank you all for listening to me. You all have walked in my shoes, and know the heartache that goes with it. ((((((HUGS))))))

linda rose
10-26-2003, 09:00 PM
Hi I have a son that just went to prison for the second time he ne's in prisonmade a thrat and got 43 months be cause of his record I have been in pain since he left I miss hime so much i pray every night for him he's in Washington state prison and now hes waiting to get shipped some where to serve his time I am sick and need him to be closr so I can visit him how can I do this ??? I will pray for all of your children my son is 22

Dannysmom
10-26-2003, 09:09 PM
welcome Andrea,
WE are all in the same boat as you. As soon as they finish the new upgrade there is to be chat rooms here. We can then chat. Hang in there and just post and read the posts you will learn a lot
Dannysmom

Dannysmom
10-26-2003, 09:12 PM
Welcome to PTO linda rose.
Do you know where your son is going?
Until you do know it is a little hard to tell you how you can visit. If you go to the Washington State board there would be more information there I would think. We are all here to help you all we cqan We do understand we are all in the same boat.
Dannysmom

grammyk
10-27-2003, 12:36 AM
Hi Linda. Welcome aboard :~). One of the things you can do is ask your doctor to write a letter to the prison describing your medical problem, and one from yourself asking that he be transferred closer to where you live. Send the letters to your son. Send a copy to the Warden and to his counselor. Keep one for yourself. You can call the prison at 509-525-3610 to get whatever info you need. Counselor and Wardens name. And, the address of where to send your information. Please let me know if I can be of any more help. Bless you, my lady and have faith things will work out for both of you.
Donna K

mom b
10-27-2003, 01:57 AM
this is my first post, my son was just sent to a nevada prison but i do not know where. Even though I know he did wrong,
my heart feels like it is half gone. Does anyone know how I
can find out where my son is, and when I can visit him? I pray
for all of you, it seems a Mother never stops loving.

samiam158
10-27-2003, 04:31 AM
mom b if youo haven't already looked go to the nevada forum...there may be some one that can help you there...i know that some states have locators....but welcome

Dannysmom
10-27-2003, 10:02 AM
Mom B,
If you will go to the Global Forum they have the "Lost in the System" Board there is a web site to go to for Nevada and you can look up where your son is from there . If you need more help let me know you can pm me I will answer you .
Dannysmom

Ralph'sSupermom
10-28-2003, 12:40 AM
Welcome Linda Rose,

I'm new also, but the info. that GrammyK sent is correct. Just make sure that the Dr. sends the letter on his company letterhead and includes his medical license number. He needs to explain your condition so that the prison can consider moving your son closer to home. Good Luck and I pray your request is approved. If anyone else can add to this info., please post. Thank you.

GSPack
10-28-2003, 07:15 AM
Let me welcome all the New Members to PTO. For Linda Rose and mom B you might want to get in toouch with NorthwestMom by pm as she is in Washington and also has a son that was sent to Nevada and she is very familair with the system. She will be more than glad to help you out with any informaton you might want. And Yes this is a miricale site. It saddens me to see so many more people jon this thread as I see more young men and women commmiting more crimes every day. Somewhere I think society has failed these children, thatt it is not all ouur fault as parents. I remember a saying or a quote that in general says:

Noone can raise a child alone, it takes a village to honestly raise a child"

trainwreck
10-29-2003, 06:03 AM
thank you all for your wonderfull replies! It means so very much to me. This is the first time i have checked for replies and I was overwhelmed by the response. The last thing I expected, was for people to write back so soon. I have to put up such a strong front at work and with family because I dont want them to worry about me so much. But this is a place where I think I can express my feelings and not be judged. I can see it in peoples faces "what did she do to mess her kids up so bad"? No matter what, I will always be there for my children, so they can all drop off the face of the earth for all I care. Also, can anyone relate about how having a child in prison can reak havok on the family situation? My husband will have nothing to do with my son now, and it is killing me. thank you

Dannysmom
10-29-2003, 08:15 AM
Trainwreck,
Men and women do not think alike . I do know we are the nest makers and the ones to keep the home fires burning. We as a whole protect our young even when they are not young. My ex has a lot of hang ups but thank goodness he is visiting our son. It is not easy to go through what a mother goes through . I always look back at what God must have went through when he sent Jesus here to go through what he went through . That is where I get my strength and you are displaying the same strength. It is not easy but here you will find the support you need and answers to questions. Look the boards over good there is a lot of information on them . I have read almost every day and still have not covered everything on the boards. YOu are welcome to pm me any time . How do you PM? just hit the pm button at the bottom of this post and type in your message and then hit the send button the next time I come on it will be here. I will answer you and you will get the answer next time you come on.
Dannysmom

RCsGurl
10-29-2003, 09:03 PM
Hi everyone. I am a dually stricken one...son and boyfriend in prison...the same facility! My son (adopted) is 22, and he was not your typical teenager (15 when I got him). He was the oldest and only boy of 6 kids, and when they were taken from their mom, only he remained in foster care. He spent 4 yrs in that system before coming to me, and I showered him with too much too quickly. He got used to the lavish style, and turned to selling drugs, etc, etc...right now he's just keeping his faith, and getting his GED, and I am doing all I can to help him stay focused through it. I dont feel like its entirely my fault, but I wonder sometimes...anyway, I lost touch with him for 3 yrs and I found him this year, in SMCF, with a mandatory 2 yr sentence...his biological mother hasnt done anything for him, so I'm all he's got...so I have been there for him.
Thanks for letting me share my story...most folks dont understand why I "bother" as they say, but I tell them, blood dont always make you a parent...I'm so glad I found this site!!

Dannysmom
10-29-2003, 09:49 PM
RCsGurl,
You are so right that blood does not make you a parent. I understand why you are so glad you found this site. My son has been in prison for 4 yrs and has to be there until Feb 2005. It seems us moms are about all any of these kids have . What about the many guys in prison who moms do not care ? I feel for them . Your son is very lucky you are there for him. Hang in there if there is any thing I can do for you just pm me I will do what I can . Welcome to PTO.
Dannysmom

Wuzzy
10-30-2003, 08:03 PM
I don't have a son in prison yet. Right now he is in jail. He just arrested friday with my help. He was wanted for murder for killing his friends grandma, along with his friend and his friends girlfriend. He has also been in trouble since he was 11 years old he has been in teen ranch for children. He has been in foster care. And he has been in juvenele home,jail and prison. Now he is going to be locked up for along time. Just last night I heard on the news that he confessed to the murder. I just couldn't believe what I was hearing. I already have a husband in prison. He is an s.o. and I had to go tell him he hadn't heard the news about our son. I am having a hard time dealing with all of this. My husband will be down for awhile and now my son. My son is only 23 years old and he is looking at about 25-30 maybe I don't know that for sure he hasn't been in court yet. He got arrested by the F.B. I. in oklahoma and hasn't be brought back to michigan yet. I would like to ask you if you could help me in anyway with any advice. Also please keep me in your prayers and also my son Robert.

grammyk
10-30-2003, 10:57 PM
Hi Wuzzy. I am so sorry to hear about your son. So young. I guess we will never know what happens with these kids. Mine committed burglary and it was done out of anger and revenge with the help of alcohol. At least your son is taking responsibilty for his actions. It sounds like you may have to wait until he is brought back to MI. Then see if you can talk to or see him. Can you write to him? He is going to need your unconditional love and a lot of support. And, that is what we can do for you here. You and Robert are in my prayers. Please stay in touch.
Donna K

lbingaman
10-31-2003, 06:41 AM
Hi to all and thanks for the welome,
i don't get on too often since i work midnites. i have been following posts about the medical problems associated with our boys/girls in prison. i noticed that oneof us-can't remember whom exactly, said to send a letter from the doctor to our kid and also copies for the warden, us, etc....
i also want to give a suggestion that was passed on to me by my son's doctor and the attorney generals office-i don't know if anyone has tried this yet and if they have gotten results-
send letters to your state reps and senators because they have a special committee that oversees the corrections department. if they become notified of medical problems and other issues they may step in and if they do things will change. if the legislature speaks the corrections department listens. i also recommend contacting a state ombudsman but i have heard that this office may not exist anymore in Michigan. I am in the process of composing letters to my rep and senator with copies of letters from my son's physician. If it helps great but i am not holding my breath about it.
If anyone has experience in this please let me know.
Laurie

Dannysmom
10-31-2003, 08:51 AM
Oh Wuzzy,
I am so sorry about your son. My son is in prison he has a ten year sentence and has served 4 yrs. he will be out in feb 2005. He is in for manufacturing drugs meth to be presise. It is a heart breaking thing. We are here to support you and stand beside you. I wish I knew what sets these young people on the wrong road. We do the best we can and some turn out good some do not. I remember when my son was arrested and when he went to court. I thought my heart would break my son has been in and out of trouble since he was 12. He and a cousin went to the small town bank and was going to rob it at 12 . With a sawed off shot gun . Thank goodness they chickened out and decieded to go joy riding in a car that had the keys in it instead. He has had robbery charges . this is his third time in jail. I keep telling my kids it is easier when they are little at your feet than when they grow up.
Hang in there and yes I will pray for you and your son.
Beckie

GSPack
10-31-2003, 12:01 PM
My prayers are with all of you new Moms here. Thank you for everyone that extended prayers my way as it seem they have been answered as my dughter went tto an interview for a new "Secod Chance: halfway house. We wont know when they will review her case or even if she will be accepted as they hae her down as a flight risk. Because she never went back to GA for a forgery case altho she did try to call the bondsman(he never returned her clls) and then leaving her job while on work release 6 months ago. I told her just keep up the good work in school and try not to make any guards made at you!.
I like the idea about witing our legislators, but in our state they seem to be more concerned in lining their ow pocket than helping us "poor people!"
Good luck to you all and keep us posted on your children.

GSpack

Wuzzy
11-01-2003, 08:35 PM
nd that makes me feel so much better. At least I know that I am not alone. At least there are other people who do understand. Thank you very much. And I hope that you will keep me in your prayers.

Wuzzy
11-01-2003, 08:36 PM
my message got messed up

Wuzzy
11-01-2003, 08:44 PM
I want to thank everybody for their support. Everybody has been so kind. I am so glad that I have found this forum in June thanks to the help of a good friend. Before I found this forum. I didn't know which way to turn. I had nobody to talk to for a long time. And the people that I did have to talk to didn't understand. My husband is also in prison. And I had to go tell him about our son. Because he hadn't heard anything on the news. I just found out that they are bringing him back to Michigan tomorrow. He has a court date on Monday. After that I hope that he will let me see him. Because I am the one that helped him get caught. I just hope that he don't hate. He has been in trouble since he has been 12 years old. And I just don't understand why he doesn't learn. But now he will do quite a bit of time. I hope that you will keep me in your prayers and I will keep you in mine. Thank you all


Roberts mom

GSPack
11-03-2003, 11:34 AM
Wuzzy Good luck to you today on your son court hearing...I hope that all goes well and in time he will thank you for ending his torrment of having to look over his shoulder all the time. Just be there when ever he needs you, and trust me the anger will fade. We are ALL here for ach other so if yo need to talk just PM anyone you want to!
GSP

Wuzzy
11-03-2003, 01:10 PM
GSPack,

Thank you for your support. Although I wasn't in court today for my son. I should find out by the news today. If not then I will find out when I can go and see him to find things out. I won't let him go through this alone. I just hope that it won't take him long to forgive me. All of you have been wonderful. I thank you very much. If I need to talk I will p.m. you thank you so much.

kenya
11-07-2003, 01:04 AM
I'm writing for the first time,we live in a small town.My son is in prison in Hunt Louisiana he is 27,this is the 2nd time he is been in prison although this time I am very angry,he was on parole until Dec.2004 he had a bad truck accident hit a tree at 80 mph,blood all over truck they handcuffed him took him to the hospital because he would not go by ambulance(because how much it cost) he was drinking they said his blood level was as if he drinked 2 and half beers,he had not been in any trouble since he has been out(Feb.2001) but his parole office told him to sign his guilt the parole board would probably let him out because he had not been in any trouble since he was released.My son was very confussed for the first 2 weeks after the wreck he had 12 stitches to the front of his head .I went and talked to our good sheriff and told him i would like to have a cat scan and mri done on my son.My son lost a lot of blood.The sheriff imformed me they wasn't paying for that! I told him i had insurance he told me if i could get a doctor to take my son they would transport him there.Of course i couldn't find one that would do it. To this dayI know something is wrong but cannot do anything now he is back in prison until 2005 unless they parole him early.He want let me come see him because he has to be in shackles until he is moved he knows i hurt (like every other mother that loves their child)I try to be strong for him but he is my baby no matter how old he gets .The phone bills are so high but i can't tell him not to call although he trys not to call so much. There sould be a program that they cant charge $5 or $6 for 15 minutes we are not rich people.I think the prison should help not hurt families.Like my son said mom they teach you more of how to do wrong than right.So i know all of you mother's pain i prey for all of our children to be safe.
May God Bless Us All
Kenya

Dannysmom
11-07-2003, 11:22 AM
Kenya,
There is a phone service they talk about on here that is to be lower cost . I can look back and get it for you . I know how you feel my son is 36 and in prison for the third time. We raise them the best we can but once they are grown they make their own decisions.
A lot of people have talked about the phone service on here and even give a phone number to call to check and see if it is availiable in your area.
Welcome to pto you have found a place to lay out your heart and not be judged for what your son has done we all understand we are in the same boat.
Dannysmom

Dannysmom
11-07-2003, 01:17 PM
Kenya here is the info I told you I would get for you . the name of the company is telenet inc. the website is www.telenetinc.net the phone number is 1-888-925-7800. from what I have read from others it is costing 3.25 for a 20 minute call. All you have to do is give them a call or go to the website and I am sure you will find what you want.
Dannysmom

joshsdad
11-07-2003, 05:15 PM
HI KENYA HOW ARE YOU ?
MY NAME IS JOSHSDAD I KNOW THE PAI YOU ARE GOING THOURH I HAVE A SO 20 YRS. OLD IN PRISON THIS IS HIS FRIST TIME IN PRISON I HAVE ALLREADY BEE THOUR THE JUNIVAL BOOT CAMP AD THE COUNTY JAIL WITH HIM IF THER
IS ANYTHIG THAT I HAVE LEARNT OUT OF THIS , IT IS THAT THE STATE DOES NOT GIVE A S*** ABOUT MY SO OR YOURS IT IS JUST A MONEY GAME THE MORE THE CAN GET THE MORE THE WONT. JUST HANG IN THIR WE ARE HERE TO HELP YOU THOUR THES HARD DAYS A HEAD JUST GET ON HERE AND VENT IT OUT IT DOES HELP IF I CAN HELP IN AY WAY JUST P M THANKS & ALL THE BEST!!!!! JOSHSDAD:cuffs: :confused:

Wuzzy
11-07-2003, 08:47 PM
I finally got to send Robert a letter. I haven't heard from him yet. But they did bring him back to Michigan. He had his arrianment already. They are holding him without bail. I did find out what times I am able to see him. But I have to wait until I here from him. Because he has to let them know what time and date I am coming. So hopefully I will be able to see him soon.

grammyk
11-07-2003, 10:03 PM
Wow, that was weird. I was just reading this thread and wondering if you found out what happened in court today. I'm so sorry he didn't make bail but, it's a good thing he is coming back to MI. I hope you will be able to see him soon. Just think how great that is going to be. Staying strong is so hard yet, I know how important it is to our kids. My thoughts and prayers remain with us all.
Donna K

anna3
11-08-2003, 09:29 PM
Hi, MY name is Anna and I have a son in prison in Oklahoma. He is comming up for parole next month. I was on here trying to figure out how to write a letter to the parole board. I read that if they have a write up they wont get it. I wish I had found this site 2 years ago. I hope I haven't waited to late to send my letter to the board.

Wuzzy
11-08-2003, 10:13 PM
I haven't heard anything from my son yet. It hasn't been too long. But I am starting to worry. I hope that I hear from him soon. He has only been in jail for a couple of weeks. But It Is not knowing anything that is driving me crazy. Since the day I found out that he was wanted ny the police. I have ate everything that I can think of. I had lost over 20 pounds since I moved up north. And now I have gainned almost all of It back. My husband tells me not to let It get me down but It Is so hard for a mother to do. It is much easier for a father not to worry as much as a mother does. At least some of the time. I just hope that he is okay.:confused:

:argh

samiam158
11-09-2003, 05:38 AM
anna i'm with you..my son spent 5 years in prison and i wish i had known of this site back then...and now he is back in..and i was so sad..cause he was only out 4 months...i miss him this week really bad...
wuzzy...i do the same...i wish i was one of those gals who lost weight when stressed...but nnoooooo...if i have anymore stress i'll hit the 200 mark..and then my mom will be skinnier than me...i WILL NOT let that happen...lol

Wuzzy
11-09-2003, 04:57 PM
Anna, I hope that everything goes well and your son gets out. I wish that I would have known about this site back when my son was in prison before. But at least I know its here for me now. I hope that you find what you need on the pto. I know that I have thanks to all the wonderful people on the pto.

Wuzzy
11-09-2003, 05:01 PM
Samiam,

I might be one of the people that lose weight but it never seems to stay off especially when i am really stressed out. Plus you have the vending machines at the prison and it seems like when i go to see my husband they call my name. I feel like I have to spend all my money while I am there. Does that make sence to you? Hope that everything is going well for you as well.

grammyk
11-09-2003, 08:49 PM
I just received a link for where to go to try and get help concerning Inmate abuse in the California system. They may even be able to direct you to a similar organization in your state. It is Yollette R. Merritt Chair CURE California at www.curecalifornia.org . Now this is for complaints about Inmate Abuse in Prisons. My complaint has already been forwarded to them. But, I've gotten some good news, I guess. My son, Chad was appointed a new Counselor about 6 weeks ago. I've talked to him at length a couple of times. He actually decided to spend more time with him and, after going over all his records and the Investigation reports into his rape, he has had him moved to Protective Custody at the Hospital. He will stay there until his transfer in about a month or sooner. He will be going to a Sensitive Needs Yard at Mule Creek or Pleasant Valley. This whole ordeal has taken a serious mental toll on Chad. I could read it in his letters and it was one of the reasons I called so often. I've made a total 72 calls to the Prison since this happened in July. Some days there were 3 & 4 calls. I am now anxious to get a letter from Chad to hear how he feels about all of this.
When I look back over these past 3+ months, I've always tried to keep in mind that Chad is a man and it was he that made the wrong choice that got him put in prison. My heart aches for the pain he is going through and so much of it is not fair. It has helped me to get information for him by calling, writing, and e-mailing everyone I can by doing the research. I learned that the crying and all the worrying I was doing in the first few weeks was only making me sick and doing neither of us any good. Keep trying to stay strong and "expect the best until you know the worse then, work to make the best of it". Does that make sense? My thoughts and prayers reaming with us all.
Donna K

chorn
11-11-2003, 11:39 PM
I have a son I haven't seen for about 35 days since they moved him from the county jail to where you looked through a glass and used a phone to talk. That was the worse for me not being able to touch him and to let him know how much I do love him. I have told him that no matter what I am his mother and I will always be there for him. He is in Indiana, they just moved him to Westfield and I haven't heard from him to find out about visitation yet (like when,how long ect). I just can't wait to just hold him and tell him what he means to me. I have 4 children 3 girls and of course he is my baby. He just turned 30 this past Friday and I couldn't even wish him a happy birthday, the first time in his 30 years. I have cried just like all of you and I wonder what did I do for him to get in trouble like this. But I do thank God he only has 11 mos to go. I really feel for those of you who have gone through years of this I don't know what I would do. Well, I will say a prayer for each and everyone of you and hope things get better. Thanks for letting me get some of this off my chest

samiam158
11-12-2003, 06:16 AM
welcome Chorn...stick around and get to know us..my son is being sentenced nov. 24...in his first place (ks)...then he will probably be extradited to Nc or maybe just put back in the fed prison...i wish he only had 11 months to go...i think we are looking at 8-10 according to him but i wouldn't be surprised if it were not more...take care and write all you want..it takes a load off....

Barbara
11-12-2003, 08:31 AM
Hi Chorn, and welcome to PTO. I also have a son in prison and we have to visit through glass too. It is hard for us but it is better than no visits at all :) We have a birthday and Christmas card program here at PTO to send cards to our loved ones on the inside. Why don't you send me a PM with your sons information and I will add him to our list. Love Barb

Your screen name/relationship
Inmate name/ # / Cell #
address
city, state, zip
DOB

Dannysmom
11-12-2003, 12:57 PM
Chorn,
Welcome to PTO. Your son knew by you being there that you loved him. He is in a place where they learn who loves them and who doesn't . It seems when they are in prison everyone leaves them but mom dad and siblings and some times siblings leave them. Our kids know we love them by us just being there. Hang in there , visit here often it helps a lot. Talk all you want to this is the place where you can let it all out and not be judged for what you say.
Dannysmom

kenya
11-12-2003, 10:34 PM
thanks to all i'm trying with the phone don't know if i can get it yet.i talk to my son every night nearly and cry when i get off cause i feel so helpless,i know we all do,but at least he knows i love him we're trying to get him to phelps in de quincy. i haven't seen him since he's gone to hunt does anyone know how long before you can see them once they get there? may God bless all of us and help us through the long days and nights until our loved one's come back to us
kenya

MsLynn
11-16-2003, 07:48 PM
Hi all I have a son in prison and one in jail who is facing prison time. A boy friend in jail and one son with a warrant. It seems as if life will never been normal or that I will never be able to have all my love ones sit down at the table for a holiday dinner again. And with all this I am rasing my son's children 6,3,2 . but they keep me going and fighting for the hope that we will be together one day again.

MissingJoe
11-16-2003, 08:35 PM
Hi Lynnie-you are carrying a load, but we're here for ya. There are some caring, loving people on this site,that all have ..well.. about the same problems. Hang in there lady. If ya want to talk..to me PM me, O.K. Glad you're here with us. & you will be in my prayers.

grammyk
11-17-2003, 12:42 AM
Hi Lynnie,
I'm so glad you found us. This site has been a God-send to me. It's so great to have people to talk to that can really relate. I love your attitude! None of us can change what has happened but, I know I feel better when I share my thoughts with others who care. Hope to hear from you often. My thoughts and prayers are with us all.
Donna K

Dannysmom
11-17-2003, 11:01 AM
Lynnie,
You have found a good site. Welcome to PTO and keep coming back you will find a group of people who can relate to what you are going through. We never judge one another. We just try to help each other through the rough spots.
Dannysmom

samiam158
11-17-2003, 11:12 AM
LYNNIE YOUR THE WOMAN!!!...3 grandkids...YUK...i know you love them and i would take care of mine also...i actually did for 6 months..they were 2 and 5 at the time...god was i tired.....so glad i don't have to physically do that anymore...we are all in the same boat...and i only hope you get as much out of PTO as i have....i am at peace for the most part...and this is just because i have people who listen and respond.... like you, I really wish that one day all my loved ones could sit at the table for just one holiday....the holidays are the worst for us all....take care and write often...pm if you need to talk...

DONNAG
11-18-2003, 01:56 PM
HELLO CHINA MY SON IS IN BRAZORIA TEXAS I JUST WENT TO VISIT THIS WEEKEND JUST CALL THE UNIT AND THEY WILL TELL YOU WHEN YOU CAN HAVE A CONTACT VISIT I WONT VISIT UNLESS I CAN TOUCH HIM I TRAVELED A LONG WAY TO VISIT BUT WE LOVE OUR BABIES.JUST GIVE ME AYELL AND IF I CAN HELP YOU IN ANY WAY I WILL .DONNA

CathyFL
11-20-2003, 03:03 AM
As mom of a son who has been in prison for the last seven yrs i also can feel the pain of yours. My son has a tattoo on his side that says. " Only my mother feels my pain "
I would love to add my son to the card list and would like to send others cards to during the holidays!!!

Anythony henderson
x13210
Apalachee Correctional
Institution, East Unit
35 Apalachee Drive
Sneads, Florida 32460-4166

Barbara
11-20-2003, 08:54 AM
Good morning and welcome to PTO. I will add Anythony tonight. Love Barb

ldysirois
11-20-2003, 09:36 AM
Hi ya'll I'm to a mother of a son in prison,I fill your pain and wish there was more I can do. But the system has him for now and all I can do is stand on the outside and fight for his rights as a inmate,he has parole in sept 2004 for a dam weed earter charge he took for a friend,another one that try to save his friends his friend got 6 months and my son got 4 yrs. Just keep the faith in the lord for there safety and health.

DONNAG
11-20-2003, 01:33 PM
TO CATHYFL,I HAVE HURT SO MUCH FOR MY SON YOU KNOW HE IS MY OLDEST BUT IT'S LIKE HE IS MY BABY AND I JUST CANT SHAKE ALL THE DIFFERENT FILLINGS THAT I HAVE.HE WANTS SO BADLY TO HAVE GIRLS TO WRITE TO BUT YOU KNOW AS SOON AS HE WAS GONE SO WERE THE SO CALLED FRIENDS,HE LOVES TO WRITE AND DRAW,IF YOU WOULD LET ME KNOW WHEN YOU SON'S B-DAY IS I'LL SEND HIM A CARD AND I WILL FOR THE HOLIDAYS.IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO EMAIL ME @SQUAWMOMMA@AOL.COM...DONNA

adqueen0214
11-20-2003, 10:13 PM
hi donnag i can imagy how you feel i have a brother in prison and is not much what we can do about it, just wait my brother birthday is december 06 . i wish you son get out soon

Jadire
11-21-2003, 06:46 AM
Just wanted to let yall know I was back online. Thank you for the list Ms. Barbara...I will get those cards out ASAP....I have to get paid first.

I have been reading all the continuations of the threads. One thing that really touched me was the pain and anger some of us feel over our sons and daughters not reaching the stars we kept wishing over them.

Please, don't give up. God says that on your tongues lie the power of life and death. Jesus says that whoever says to that mountain (problem) be thou removed, and believes it, the mountain will be moved. I am telling you that we can speak curses over our own children with the things we say.

Please, I realize I probably sound a lil daffy. But consider this: What is the power of positive thinking? What is the power of negative thinking? Which do we want to give to our children's lives?

Thanx for listenin...

Jade

grammyk
11-21-2003, 10:47 PM
Amen, Jade. It's the positive things we relate to our loved ones that give them hope in a very negative place and situation.
Daffy Donna K

grammyk
11-22-2003, 02:05 AM
On the subject of sending the cards to the Inmates. This is the best project I've ever heard of, to give a little hope and joy to all of the Inmates in our Prisons. Many Inmates have no one. I am the only one in my large family that takes the time to be consistent in writing to my son. When he got all those cards for his birthday, from people he didn't even know, it really made him feel special. His letters became so much more positive and it really helped bring back some of his self esteem. Most everything is so depressing and negative behind those walls. This project of sending cards has helped me feel good and made dealing with having my son in such a horrible situation, even though he brought it on himself, much easier to handle. I really kind of feel sorry for those who don't respond and at least send a couple of cards. Just thinking of the big smile and warmth you are giving to someone else will allow you to feel the same. Come on everybody, let's shine some light into a very dark place.
Thank you so much Barb. You are a blessing indeed.
Love,
Donna K

Jadire
11-22-2003, 03:42 AM
Hey there Grammyk: (and all)

Thanx for the acknowledgement on the power of positive words to our kids.

But I feel the need to clarify: Its not just what we say TO our kids that has power, but what we say period ABOUT our kids.

I always tell people that Shon is going to be alright, that he is going to come out of this ok, and that God has His hands on him.

Now, of course people don't need to say WHAT I say, but whatever you can say that is positive, say it, cuz the Almighty Creator said that there's power in dem dere words!!

Now, for those of you that are not quite accepting of this concept about God and all...umm...just think about whether or not you believe in the power of positive thinking---like karma or somn...lol.

I'm telling yall this cuz I myself have been guilty of just talking about how my son has been in trouble all his life, and blahhh blahhh blahh. But--now I just talk about how he's gonna be OK!

You don't have to understand how it works, just believe it..its a supernatural thing, from a supernatural God.

"Faith comes by hearing, and hearing from the Word."

Yall have a nice day.

Jade

Jadire
11-22-2003, 03:52 AM
GrammyK

I really can relate to your issue about helping your son to get arrested, and how you worry he might feel about that.

I want you to know that I myself have called the police on my son a few times, hoping and praying that they would arrest him before somebody in the streets killed him.

I always said my son needed alot of structure in his life, but daaaaanng...I wasn't talkin bout this Lord!

Jade

Maggie Mom
11-22-2003, 10:07 PM
I've just discovered this mothers' site. I can relate to it all and hear and feel the pain of all of you. I suppose my son and I are luckier than some. He is now on the ranch at San Quentin which is 70 miles, only, from home. Astonishingly his request to be close to home was granted. He is apparently outside daily doing freeway cleanup so at least he gets outside the walls now. I am hoping to be able to visit him there tomorrow. I haven't seen him for about two months now as he was at Deuel Vocational Institution in Tracy when there was a riot in his dorm and they were on lock-down until he was transfered to San Quentin. My son has been in prison for a year now and has one more to do. I just pray he comes out better for it and resolved never to make the same mistakes again but I know it is extremely hard to stay out once you are in the system. It is almost as though they want them in there. Like others, my eyes have been opened to the grossly unjust prison system, since my son has been involved. The punishments rarely seem to fit the crimes. I have much more compassion for everyone than I ever did before.
My heart goes out to all you mothers. As so many of you say, you never give up on your children, and now they need us more than ever.

Typetester
11-23-2003, 04:13 PM
Hi, I have a son in prison in AZ. The hardest part is I live in CA. I haven't got to go vixit yet. I hoping to spend Christmas with him. He has been moved three times now. And he should be getting out in March.
Typetester

Dannysmom
11-23-2003, 07:19 PM
WElcome to PTO Maggie mom and typetester you have found a wonderful site where you are not judged and people try to help you all they can. My son is in Prison he has been in for 4 yrs and he will be in another 14 month. I know how it feels my son has been in three times this time but called me last night to say he got a job with the maintence crew and that is the job he loves to do. He finally sounds a little happier since his move to a different Prison.
Dannysmom

joshsdad
11-23-2003, 09:17 PM
HI EVERBODY THIS IS JOSHSDAD
HAVENT BEE ON IN A WHILE MY PUTTER HAS BEEN DOWN TALKED TO MY SON JOSH TONIGHT HE SAID TO PUT HIS NAME ON HERE FOR PEN PALS IF YOU COULD DROP HIM A NOTE OR A CARD HE WOULD APPH. IT VERY MUCH HE SAID MAIL YOU RECIVE IN PRISON SURE DID HELP I WRITE OTHER PRISONERS MORE THAN I DO HIM
THANKS MUCH JOSHSDAD:( :rolleyes:

joshsdad
11-23-2003, 09:22 PM
HI AGAIN FORGET TO PUT HIS ADDRESS SORRY
JOSHUA KEAN A I S #230426
BED 14-17 P O BOX 5107
BULLOCK C. F.
UNION SPRINGS. AL. 36089
THANKS AGAIN JOSHSDAD:cuffs: :cuffs:

calipeanut
11-24-2003, 10:13 PM
joshsdad
just wanted you to know i dropped your son a line, I will put it in the mail tomorrow.
take care, I know what you mean when you say " I write other prisoners more than him" sometimes its better for others to write cuz we run out of words sometimes i think, I feel sometimes that I can joke and feel at ease with another prisoner more than my son. My mom tells me that if we can make someone's day God will make a way for someone to make my son's day, I pray this is true! -Pauline (calipeanut)

Scoco
11-25-2003, 07:17 PM
Hi,I too have a 20 year old son in a prison in Georgia.I know the pain and frustration we all go through. My son's name is Scottie Simpson,his address is DOC#1070474 Dorm 3 Rivers North Rivers State Prison PO Box 1500-Hardwick,Ga30134-1500.I know he would love to hear from anyone,since I am about the only one to write him.Those boys really love to get mail,even if it is just a line or two.This site is a great idea,because now I don't feel that I am fighting this alone.God Bless every one of you.All of your children will be in my prayers.

Dannysmom
11-25-2003, 08:11 PM
scoco,
Welcome to PTO we are so glad you have joined us . Let me tell you I have finally found some peace since I found this site to let every one know how I feel . It helps to voice how you feel I am sure that bbs will get into touch with you about putting your son on our Birthday card and Christmas list. The guys seem to really enjoy getting the cards on their birthdays and are surprised to see we care enough to send them cards.
hang in there and let us know if we can ever do anything for you .
Dannysmom

Barbara
11-25-2003, 09:42 PM
Hi Sococo is this the way you write it on an envelope? I am adding him to the Christmas card list right now. Oh Welcome to PTO Love Barb

Scoco/son
Scottie Simpson DOC#1070474
Dorm 3 Rivers North Rivers
State Prison PO Box 1500-
Hardwick,Ga 30134-1500.


Done

TDCJmom
11-25-2003, 11:21 PM
PTO has already helped me tremendously!

i am not a writer so i try to send a card once a month to at least say hi and let my son know we are doing fine. Since being on PTO, i am not only sending B-day cards to others but am writing to my son more. He was so excited in his last letter home, he said his name was called 5 times...5 times!
3 from me and 2 from PTO friends. Thanks to all from my son and myself and keep up the good work, I know I will try to.

failedbythejudi
11-25-2003, 11:27 PM
Greetings Everyone, I am a newbie to this forum and must say that this is a place where I hope to feel accepted...my son was wrongfully convicted of a capital crime, we have been failed by the judicial system miserably and is serving a life without parole sentence in TDCJ, Polunsky Unit, Texas. Presently he begins the process of filing an 1107 in hopes that there may be an honest judge who reads it and will make the proper ruling on it. Lonnie has been incarcerated now for 3 yrs, 2 mos. He is my youngest child, but he has a child of his own..she was almost 3 months old when he was sent to prison. Holidays are especially hard, they used to be my favorite, now I dread them. Please add us to your prayers and Lonnie to all your mail and card lists. He receives mail at the following address:
Lonnie-RayAllen;LaBonte
c/o 3872 FM 350 South #1003685
Livingston, texas state [77351] (u/tdc)
Bless you all, Betty

failedbythejudi
11-25-2003, 11:38 PM
Oh, I forgot to tell you that his date of birth is Jan. 12, 1977. He seldom gets mail and would be thrilled to receive mail from anyone no doubt. Thank you, Betty....Lonnie's Mom

Barbara
11-26-2003, 12:31 AM
Hi, and welcome to PTO I received your PM but I just want to make sure Lonnie's last name is LaBonte :) Love Barb

DONNAG
11-26-2003, 07:28 AM
Originally posted by TDCJmom
PTO has already helped me tremendously!

i am not a writer so i try to send a card once a month to at least say hi and let my son know we are doing fine. Since being on PTO, i am not only sending B-day cards to others but am writing to my son more. He was so excited in his last letter home, he said his name was called 5 times...5 times!
3 from me and 2 from PTO friends. Thanks to all from my son and myself and keep up the good work, I know I will try to.

DONNAG
11-26-2003, 07:32 AM
I AM SORRY FOR THAT I AM TRYING TO SEND A REPLY TO BETTY I NEED TO LEARN HOW TO DO ALL THIS I WOULD BE MORE THAN HAPPY TO WRITE YOUR SON I KNOW HOW IT IS MY OSN LOVES TO HEAR FROM PEOPLE YOU KNOW THEY SAY THEY HAVE FRIENDS BUT WHEN THEY ARE GONE WHAT DO THEY HAVE NO ONE BUT MOM AND THIESE KIND PEOPLE ON THIS SITE I AM SO GLAD I FOUND IT .IF YOU NEED TO TALK PLEASE EMAIL ME AT SQUAWMOMMA@AOL.COM I AM ALSO IN TX.DONNA

Barbara
11-26-2003, 09:03 AM
Donnag, do I have your boy on the Christmas list or just the birthday list? Just give me his last name so I can check on it OK. Love Barb

DONNAG
11-26-2003, 09:08 AM
NO BUT HERE IS HIS INFO
JAMES V GODBEY #1126395
11034 HWY 36
BRAZORIA,TX 77422
11/21/80

Done

Dannysmom
11-27-2003, 10:42 AM
HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO each and everyone of you. Just thought I would spread a little cheer.
Dannysmom

DONNAG
11-27-2003, 04:39 PM
HAPPY TURKEY DAY TO EACH AND EVERYONE OF YALL AND YOUR FAMILYS

chris's mom
11-27-2003, 06:14 PM
happy thanksgiving everyone.

Scoco
11-27-2003, 09:41 PM
Thanks to all that answered my message.It really helps to know that there are people out there that really care.I went to see Scottie today and took his 16mo old daughter.I had some mixed feelings,because I was so glad to see him,but so hurt&sad that I would leave him there and go home to Thanksgiving without him.I know that all of you have had those same feelings and I will be praying for each of your children tonight. Thank you Barb,that is his address.May God Bless You All!

fundance
11-28-2003, 06:27 AM
:( ..well, the holidays are here !! thanksgiving was really hard...it was our first one without my son...plus, he lost visitation for 45 days..now we can't see him till jan. !! i've cried for days...this is just so hard---i imagined him being alone yesterday---without being able to see or talk to us--i'm trying to keep it together...if you know what i mean...i have a 7 yr, old too...i know i have to be happy for him.....i hope you all have a happy holiday season....lots of love, patsy

BARBC
11-28-2003, 02:28 PM
Hi, I'm Barb from Issaquah, WA. My son, Jared is in the Lewisburg Federal Penitentiary. He is in a lockdown facility with no visits or phone calls. I am so sad that I can't see him. The last time I saw him was in February at Lompoc Federal Prison. In June there was a riot and Jared was out in the yard at the time and he and 39 other inmates were put in lockdown because guards were injured. To make a long story short, he was transferred to Pennsylvania and I haven't spoken to him since. His letters are upbeat but he may be indicted for something he did not do. We are all praying that he will be okay. His address is:

Jared Cunningham #10001-085
USP
PO Box 1000
Lewisburg, PA 17837

Sorry that I rambled, but I just joined this site and hope that I can find some peace and solice in stories from other parents.

Barb

Done

grammyk
11-28-2003, 09:18 PM
What I do at Christmas time is make or buy Christmas cards and beginning today, I send him one every day through New Years. This really helps get him through the Holidays and gives him something to decorate his cell with. It also makes me feel better. I also ask all my family and friends to help us out by sending him a card or two. Many send him a Money Order as a gift. Oh, if everyday could be like Christmas, what a wonderful world this would be. (I heard that somewhere:>)).
Donna K

Jadire
11-29-2003, 12:58 AM
Barbc...

Ohhh yeahhh...you will definitely find some solace here. Its a place where you can ramble all u want. Its a place where people cyber hug you and shed tears w/ you. It's a place where you can make a difference not just in your son's life, but in other hurting families lives too.

The world has not gotten this myster yet: Whatever you want to happen to you, do it for someone else. Thas sowing a seed of faith, and its a magical (supernatural, spiritual) formula that works...so try it!

Welcome..

Jade

Barbara
11-29-2003, 01:16 AM
Hi BarbC welcome to PTO, I have added your son to the Christmas list :) Love Barb

Lobothree
11-29-2003, 07:11 PM
HiEverybody, This is my first time here. There are time's I have felt that I was all by myself, but really I know better. My daughter has been in prison for 12 years now and I have been able to see her only one time. Her daughter and I had to save for years to get the money to drive and see her. My daughter Billie is in Tallassee, Fl. and we live in Oklahoma. I took Billie's two children when she went in and both are grown now. I know how you and everyone feels when you keep saying where did you go wrong. I know inside that's not right but you just can't help it. My daughter still has 20 years before she gets out and I know I want be around when she does. But her son and daughter will. She also has a Granddaughter she got to see one time Trinty was just 10 months when we went there and that was three years ago. Billie's daughter has gotten married and she missed out on that to. More later

grammyk
11-29-2003, 10:08 PM
Hi Jody,
I'm so glad you found us! Yes, everyone can relate to "where did I go wrong?" I know where I went wrong. I have 4 son's, 37, 36, 33, & 28. When the youngest was around 5, I decided I didn't want to be a Mom or a wife to my alcoholic husband and I wanted to have fun with fun people. I took care of them but, I really wasn't there. Anyway, to make a long story short, I finally came to my senses, but a lot of damage had been done. I've talked to each of them and apologized and went back to being the Mom I wanted to be. Things went well. Then, the youngest, at 24 made a choice to rob houses. He is an adult who knows right from wrong and he chose to make a wrong choice. I suffer from the wrong choices I made and Chad knows he has to pay the price for his. I hurt for my son, but I do not feel guilty. Unless a parent has maliciously mentally or physically abused their child, they have nothing to feel guilty about when they make wrong choices as adults, or even as kids of accountable age for that matter. This is just how I feel. Now, all we can do is our best to give them all the support and love we can. We are all good parents or we wouldn't be here. God Bless us all :>)
Donna K

PMS58
11-30-2003, 01:29 AM
Hello moms I'm new to your site but Thank the good Lord I found you all. My son Michael is doing 30 years in East Texas and I'm way down here in Corpus Christi and haven't seen him in a year. I would love it if you could put Michael on ya'll cards list the only one writing him is his two brothers and myself. Michael's uncle was writing to him but my brother passed away last week, Michael address is Michael Neagle 1165969 Rt 1 box 150 Tennesse Colony Texas 75884. Michael's birthday is 12-15-1975 I thank you moms for being here we all need each other....Pam

Done

Valerie
11-30-2003, 01:41 AM
Pam , Welcome to PTO, I'm glad you found us too. I'm sorry about your brother. I'm sure BSS will be happy to add Michael's name to the card list. I hope PTO will bring you comfort.

chris's mom
11-30-2003, 07:16 AM
I AM SO SORRY. MY PRAYERS ARE WITH HIM. BE SURE AND LET US KNOW HOW HE IS

Dannysmom
11-30-2003, 09:08 AM
Welcome to PTO Lobothree and PMS58 we are glad to have you. It has been a god send to me . How awful to have your child in prison for so long. I get to see mine quite often and we have a food visit Christmas Eve. It will be good to spend Christmas Eve with him the first in 4 years. BBS will add your son but she will ask you to put it in here as you would put it on the envelope. This is a wonderful group to be in and I have enjoyed it a lot. It has finally given me a peace I did not have. My son is talking change I hope he does change.
Dannysmom

Christophersdad
11-30-2003, 12:20 PM
Greetings to all, I am thankful to find this site. I shouldn't be surprised considering there are 160,000 men,women and children in the prison system in California alone.I have been on the verge of a full blown guilt trip for a few days. My son called from prison last week,it is the first time I have spoke with him for several months. I have been very bitter and distant to his situation,(Until today) the guilt is back. He is serving a four year sentence in California Correction Facility in Susanville,this is his 2nd time to be locked up(prison) as an adult.He spent time as a 16 year old kid also. I know it is hell for my son to be locked up I cant figure out why he cant stay out of trouble , he is a very intelligent,polite, caring, VIOLENT person. I am bitter. I love and miss my son. I am torn as to how to support his needs,I'm upset that he would ask for a pair of $50.00 shoes.. I have the money just don't think it reasonable or practicable. Anyway to make a long story even longer I raised my son and his sister there mother was unable, I did my best,the results were not good. One Christmas both of my children were in jail for misdemeanors. asking for visits and money. I went to see them both and explained that I was sorry they were there and for the mistakes I had made during there childhood, and that I would no longer carry the guilt for there mistakes and that I would no longer come to see them in jail or send money (I am Bitter) Thanks for listening.I must for my own sanity find a better way to deal with this, I am angry that my son choose this way it was a choice we pleaded with him supported him encouraged him to stay away from trouble to no avail, My kid was on the path of killing or being killed and I accepted it, he still may not make it out alive. I dread these negative thoughts, and believe this is why I distance my self to protect my feelings.My son needs me and I cant find the answers in my heart.Writing to complete strangers at this website is easier than writing to my own son... I am bitter when we get his mail.I used to look forward to it just to here from him. I have two more sons (remarried)and pray for the right decisions raising them to help them make the right choices as young adults and there future as productive happy people. I am always scared I will make more mistakes. I got to go for now it is therapeutic to put my feelings into words. This is great site for those of us with a child in prison.... I am looking forward to the day I can have a relationship with my son again I think this site can help ....Thanks for Listening

Dannysmom
11-30-2003, 03:25 PM
Christophersdad,
We all have thoes feelings at times along with flustration because we can no longer make them do what we want them to do. I think if I was you I would tell my son how bitter I am. My son is also in prison for the third time. He sounds more optimistic him self this time . He is trying harder than I have ever seen him try. Our children need us to be a support not to nessecarily support them. I know in the missouri prison my son is in they have cut all money support because they are broke . He doesn't know if he will still get the 7.50 or 8.00 a month he did before. He still needs things like soap , and shampoo and razor that kind of thing and he does smoke.I try to send him 50 a month I am on a penison and can not afford much more. I also know it is easier for a mom to forgive than a dad. My sons dad and I are divorced and it has taken a long time to get him to visit and the things he needs to do for him. My son has been in going on 5 yrs.
It is hard when they have been in prison three times but at some point there has to be a change. As my signature says take it one day at a time and that is when you see a miricle
Dannysmom

MissingJoe
12-01-2003, 05:51 AM
Christopher's Dad-Don't give up on him,I know how you're feeling, my son has been locked up on&off for about 5 yrs., I wonder why also, I love him dearly though,& I just pray for him now, I send him money, when I can,as I cannot afford much.Just don't give up on him.I really understand your feelings!! This is a GREAT site, alot of understanding,loving, caring people,stay tuned in to PTO. Take Care.

Christophersdad
12-01-2003, 05:55 PM
Thank you all for the reply's. I feel better,I love and miss my son and hope he understands and doesn't feel rejection from me. I am going to write him a short letter soon to start with to try and rebuild our relatationship thank you all again.. I will visit this site often to talk
God Bless you and your kids......

Barbara
12-01-2003, 08:44 PM
Welcome Christophersdad, I know how hard it is for you but every time I start to think that way I remember I can go home at night or out if I want. I am sad and angry at times but never would it cross my mind to be anywhere but in my sons corner every inch of the way and I have been there for over 20 years now. You said you were going to write your son a short letter :) I truly hope it turns out to be a very long letter :) Love Barb

Jadire
12-02-2003, 06:27 AM
Dear Christophersdad:

Don't give up on yourself!! Of course you are bitter! Of course you resent him asking for 50.00 shoes! You are angry at him! What a natural feeling.

I remember, ( I really hate to admit this) back when my 19 y/o was only 13. At the time I secretly wished I knew someone his age range that I could pay to kick his ever loving butt and scare him into not acting the way that he was back then.

There were times, God forgive me, that I thought life might be easier if my son just passed away....if the thing I felt was going to be inevitible would just HAPPEN! I knew someone was going to kill him someday and I felt like I had been waiting in the dark for the other shoe to fall.


God did not see fit for that to happen. He put him in JAIL! Now, Shon doesn't like it in there Im sure. But I believe that he is going to "grow up" a little more, and unfortunately it will have to be within the confines of a prison.

And before anyone says...how easy for you to say from your PC...remember, being a parent is ALSO letting them live with their consequences, and being there to help them get back on track when they INDICATE they are ready.

Please Mr. Christophersdad...please keep on writing all that you feel here. VENT, by all means, you deserve it. Let the tears flow as you tell us your pain. We want to listen, and in fact, we all need to.

Please share with us, so that we can share with you.

Jade

Dannysmom
12-02-2003, 11:56 AM
Christophersdad,
that is the way this site works. WE try to help each other get through this mess called a life. We do send Christmas cards to inmates and birthday cards if you want to leave your sons address with us I am sure BBs will pick it up . It has had good results from the inmates. My son was thrilled he got mail.
Dannysmom

grammyk
12-02-2003, 09:35 PM
Hi again Christophersdad. I've already pm'd you a "book" so, I'll try to keep this short. When my oldest of 4 son's was in his teens he drove me nuts! Always getting into petty mischief. We lived in a small Tourist city and everyone knew our name. Finally, he went too far and I reported him. Well, they wouldn't arrest him because Juvenile Hall was full and in order to take him in, they would have to let someone with a lesser offense go free. Can you believe that! After calling the sheriff 3 more times on other offenses, a sheriff worked with me to get him into a County Juvenile program for 3 months. When they brought my son into court in chains, I held back my tears. When they led him out, I broke down. It was a pretty rough program and I supported him with love the whole time. While there, he wrote a letter to our local newspaper explaining exactly what happened and what he was going through. He ended with, If you are thinking about breaking the law don't do it and, thanked me, his Mom for turning him in because, he was headed for a place that could be worse. I didn't know he had done this and got lots of calls :>). To this day, he is the one who treats me with the most respect. Lately, my son who has been in prison for 4 years, (I turned him in also), has been writing me the nicest letters thanking me for my continued support, even though he had been such a jerk. What I'm trying to say to all of us is, we can not condone the wrongs they commit, but our unconditional love and logical material support can make a difference in a place where they are receiving nothing but negative treatment. Man, I just can't keep it short :>). Thanks for listening.
Donna K

DonnaRobinson
12-02-2003, 11:48 PM
Hello , My name is Donna I have two sons in the system, one in NewBoston and one in Arizona, well he is my step son however I l ove him the same. His name is Mark and he will get out in 2005, has been in there two years. My son Micheal is in NewBoston and he went in at age 15 and is now 21 and is serving a life sentence he will be up for parole when he is 56, I have not giving up, although sometimes it is really hard not to. I believe God is with us and he will bring my baby home before then. Anyway, I guess I just need some friends who know what were going through here, my lifemate and I will never give up and will keep all of you in our thoughts. I know just about everyone thinks their children are innocent, however I know mine are just did not have the money to prove it. well thank you for this site it is a very good thing yall did.

Dannysmom
12-03-2003, 06:52 AM
GrammyK
Mine knew his mom did not approve of what he was doing but that I love him enough to try to help him through this rough time in his life.


DonnaR,
We are all here for the same reason to have someone that knows how we feel about things. It is hard to have our kids in jail. My son will tell you he did what they said he did. He is in on a manufacturing charge. he will be out in feb 2005 . I just hope it will make him a better man and he will stop all this nonsense. he says he is a prisoner of war. the war on drugs.
Dannysmom

mary fisher
12-07-2003, 11:19 PM
Hi barbra, my name is mary my son is in florence,co im in mo. 900miles or more im disabled, i have got to go 2 times but trip is rough, my yonger son has a rare kidney diseas, not able to drive far, tonight is my first on here im learnig, lol. It is good to read all of us moms love for our children,, yes i would love to send birth.days,christmas card, just let me know ill give u my sons adress. tomorrow, i got on late & again just learning a bit. jack had sent me paper on this out early prog. so i started serching to see if anyone knew or help me thaks to all in our serch for new info. mary

Dannysmom
12-08-2003, 08:28 AM
Mary,
Welcome to PTO. We are glad you found us. You have found a site where you are not judged we are all going through the same thing. I live in Kansas. My son is in prison in Missouri. I try to go once a month when I get my Check. What part of Missouri are you in ? I am near Kansas City, Missouri.
Dannysmom

Sherry
12-09-2003, 09:03 PM
Hello everyone,

I have sat in front of this computer tonight reading your posts and re-living so many emotions. How very much I feel your pain and understand, even though my son is no longer behind bars.

I want to say the same that so many of you have said -- no matter how discouraged you get, never give up on your children, no matter what! I am so proud that my son, David (Fed-X), has taken his prison experience and used it positively for his own growth and for the good of so many people on PTO -- which shows that sometimes good CAN come from suffering. Bless you as you face such hard times -- my prayers will be with each of you and your children.

Sherry

DonnaRobinson
12-12-2003, 08:14 AM
Thanks to all that has replyed and congrads on your son sherry, my prayers go out to all hear as well

grammyk
12-12-2003, 07:46 PM
My son has started to receive his Christmas cards from PTO and he just can't get over how nice the people are here. They have really lifted his spirits during this very rough time he is having. I have been sending him 2-3 cards a day. My goal being that he receive 25 cards from me by Christmas. I make my own, on-line while I play Christmas music and it has really helped make this season nicer for me too. Thank you again, Barb, for making this special program happen. When I speak of you to Chad, I refer to you as our PTO Angel. My thoughts and prayers remain with all of you.
Donna K

JJH
12-12-2003, 07:57 PM
If they are on the birthday list, will they also recieve Xmas cards or do they have to be put on another list?
It's funny how we all feel the same emotions about our kids. I read these posts and relate to every feeling posted here.
Thanks for being here.

grammyk
12-12-2003, 10:00 PM
Yes. Barb makes sure the Birhday list continues also. Does she have the address? And, be sure to join in sending cards to as many Inmates as you can. It really makes YOU feel good :>).
Donna K

Barbara
12-12-2003, 10:45 PM
I would really like everyone to sent me their loved ones info and DOB for any upcoming month. I will try to take them from the Christmas list but sometimes I might miss someone so please it is time to send me the January Birthdays :) Love Barb

fundance
12-13-2003, 05:40 AM
:D ..My son (Michael Cook), said to tell all of you "Thank You" for the Christmas cards !!!!!! I got a letter from him yesterday and on the envelope it said " Dear Mr. Postman, If this letter gets lost, just send it to heaven, because it's going to an angel anyway." Yeah--I cried the whole day--it was a very sentimental letter..I won't get to see my son on Christmas...so, these cards that you all have sent mean more than you know..My 7 yr. old and I, have sent him 4 cards already with drawings, pictures, and love....
Thank you and God Bless You All.......Merry Christmas !!!
Love, Patsy

tonysmom
12-13-2003, 03:03 PM
I'm telling you, Tony, Juan and Avery have been bombarded with Christmas Cards (Tony being my son and Avery and Juan being two other boys that are locked up with him)....I spoke to all of them on the phone earlier today and they are just THRILLED to have so many nice people in their corner...they have started their "thank you notes" and I have rec'd several "thank yous" from people I have sent cards to...(and one not so nice "thank you but you can keep it") but the boys are waiting for mail every day and have started a "freindly" contest to see who gets more...at this point it's Avery!! They are loving it...thank you so much all of you...I hope you all know how much of a difference you have made, not just in my life..but in Tony's also....

oceanfriend1
12-13-2003, 06:26 PM
Barb, my son sent me a letter today (Jeff) saying he received a card from he thinks, the founder of PTO (Barb). He's been isolated in the hole since last June and I only recently was able to visit. The letter made me cry and I still have tears in my eyes because so many people who sent him cards not only made his holiday, but mine too. I was searching for something meaningful to do this holiday season with 2 of my sons in prison although I have 3 other sons, and 4 grandkids. This project along with sending cards to several inmates in the hole who gave my son food, made my Christmas. Thank you very much. Cathy

Dannysmom
12-13-2003, 07:39 PM
This is what this is all about . Making someones Christmas. You never know what is going to touch your heart. My son has also been receiving cards . He told me mom they are coming from everywhere. I go from crying to being over happy.
Dannysmom

calipeanut
12-14-2003, 05:34 PM
I just realised I might have messed up!
I did not put my address on the envelopes, Will the inmates still be allowed to recieve them? I sent a whole bunch off like that. I signed them "from your friend at prisontalk, Calipeanut". My brother tells me if there is not a return address prisoners will not get it. Anyone know the answer?
please let me know asap.

grammyk
12-14-2003, 06:39 PM
My son, at Corcoran State say's they won't. A name isn't necessary, in fact he prefers I don't use it, but an address is. Maybe it being Christmas, they will give the Inmate the option of receiving it. Or, hopefully not all prisons are the same.
Donna K

nanalisa1
12-14-2003, 06:56 PM
Hi all, I have been here a while but I just recentl ventured away from the Michigan thread. I have been thru so much. Some already know but.. here goes...
My son Joe is in prison here in Michigan he has been there and in the county jail since he has been 16. He was sent to prison on a probation violation in July. I was livid when they said MDOC!! He is sentenced 2-5 years but our Attorney requested that he be sent to SAI (boot-camp). Just recently Michigan has had "mass" letting people go :D. On December 4th he was finally transferred to SAI and he should be coming home in March, 13 days before his 19th birthday!! He has another probation violation that could come to bite his little butt but I am keeping a stiif upper lip. I felt as if I had let him down by not being able to keep him out of trouble but on one of the last visits I had with him, he told me that it wasn't my fault, it was his own and I now know he is ready to take responsibilty for his own actions in the past and in the future, I HOPE. I am unable to see him while he is at SAI and I just pray he makes it thru!!

Lisa

Dannysmom
12-14-2003, 07:56 PM
Lisa,
I think we can all relate to what you felt . I felt it was my fault because my son got into trouble so young but then I reliazed when trip 3 to prison came around that is his problem and I do not feel that guilt any more. He is old enough to make his own discisions. I just hope this time he is better at making them . Just come and visit us often as we are parents also going through a lot of the same things you are. My son has servered 4 yrs going on 5 of his 10 yr. sentence. he was told by parole board that he will be released in Feb. 2005. hang in there my friend.
dannysmom

debbierose18
12-14-2003, 09:54 PM
Hi, My name is Debbie, I am also a mother with a young son in prison. My story is a very long one to tell, so if you have time in the future, I would like to tell it.
Another sad mom: Debbierose

grammyk
12-15-2003, 01:23 AM
Hi Debbie,
I'm so glad you found us. Please know that we have all the time you need to listen to you. I have writing many long messages of the challenges my son and I have been through since he went into Prison almost 5 years ago now. It helps so much to be able to share your feelings with those who really do understand. The Holidays are really the most difficult. If you would like to post his name and address just as you would to send mail to him, I would like to send him a Christmas card. The moderator of this Forum started a project of sending cards to all the Inmates now and on their birthdays and I'm sure she will be contacting you. This is a time when we really have to try so hard to be strong for our kids. We are looking forward to hearing more from you soon.
Donna K

paw79
12-15-2003, 04:30 AM
Hi,
I haven't been here for awhile but wanted you to know how much my son liked the Christmas cards. He called me one day as I didn't tell him about this and wanted to know who were all these wonderful people. A BIG THNAK YOU from Dana and his mom.
He should be home sometime in April. Pam

Dannysmom
12-15-2003, 07:19 AM
Debbie,
You will find others that are going through the same thing or close to the same thing you are. We are here to listen that is where the healing comes in and the peace finally comes to us. My son is not young he is a dad with five kids waiting at home for him. They do not get to visit very often since it is a trip and for a long time mom had to figure out which ones to leave at home they only allowed 4 visitors at a time and with her and 5 kids that was 6 so two had to stay at home. He got moved and now they can take all of the kids with her which is nice. If you will post your sons address just as you would on an envelope I would also like to send him a Christmas card.
It is one way us moms think we are helping someone else and the response is great from them. Just come here often and talk and read it really does help. My son has been in prison for 4 yrs and is to be paroled in Feb. 05. He is counting the months and days already he is ready to be home with his family.
Welcome to PTO.
dannysmom

chickie
12-20-2003, 08:57 AM
Hi All, I need some advice. The parole board called yesterday and want to come over to dicuss my daugther's home plan IF she get's Parole. AAUGH! What are they looking for? What do I need to do to make sure she comes home and not to a center? They want to inspect my home. I have the week end to clean up. What do I need to toss out? What do I need to make sur of? Any help will be great. Chickie

Dannysmom
12-20-2003, 09:11 AM
Chickie,
Hi have you went to the Pa board they will be able to tell you jsut what pa will look for for the release.
Just keep scrolling down till you come to the states and go to Pa. Hope this helps.
dannysmom

Dannysmom
12-20-2003, 09:15 AM
Chicky
Here is the site they gave with the handbook You might find more info on this site just copy and past it to the web browser if it does not come up http://sites.state.pa.us/PA_Exec/PB...ntroduction.htm

Dannysmom
12-20-2003, 09:21 AM
http://www.cor.state.pa.us/info.html this is a good one I was just on it should be able to find your info some where in that site.

dereksmom
12-20-2003, 10:26 AM
Hi all,

My son is in Forrest City, AR federal prison. How do I get his name on a mailing list for cards?

Dyanlee
12-20-2003, 03:43 PM
HI, LIKE SO MANY OF YOU WHO HAVE A SON OR DAUGHTER IN A PRISON, I HAVE A DAUGHTER IN A GEORGIA PRISON.. I HAVE NOT SEEN MY DAUGHTER IN ALMOST 9 YEARS.. MY ILL HEALTH PREVENTS ME FROM MAKING THE LONG TRIP FROM OHIO TO GEORGIA TO SEE HER.. I AM JUST HOPING THAT GOD LETS ME LIVE LONG ENOUGH TO HOLD MY BABY GIRL AGAIN AND SPEND SOME TIME WITH HER.. MAY GOD BLESS EACH AND EVERYONE OF YOU AND HOPE DESPITE THE SITUATION I HOPE YOU ALL HAVE A HAPPY HOLIDAY.. THANKS SO MUCH AND I LOVE THIS FORUM..DYANLEE

grammyk
12-20-2003, 06:28 PM
Dereksmom, you can go back to "Parents with Children in Prison" and click on BBS, the Moderator of this Forum. She is the one who started and maintains this project. You can also post his name and address exactly like you would put it on an envelope to him and I will get one out to him immediately as time is short. Be sure to include his Birthday also so he can get on the Birthday list.
Donna K

grammyk
12-20-2003, 06:32 PM
Hi Dannysmom.
Is there a site in CA for that info?

Dannysmom
12-20-2003, 08:43 PM
Yes GrammyK I will look up the site for you. give me a few minutes it will take some time to look up the info on the web.
dannysmom

Dannysmom
12-20-2003, 08:48 PM
http://www.dtsc.ca.gov/index.html This is the site for the California department of corrections there is a lot of info here. You just have to search the different pages.
Dannysmom

grammyk
12-20-2003, 09:46 PM
Thank You!

grammyk
12-20-2003, 10:08 PM
A recap, an update, and more on my challenges and tribulations in my life since my son was attacked by 4 Inmates, raped by 1, in which a C/O was involved:
I am in the last stages of a lung disease and have had to be hospitalized 3 times since this all began in July. I just spent 3 days there, diagnosed with nothing but total exhaustion and stress. I couldn't get to the bathroom and back without almost passing out for lack of air. And, I'm on 4 liters of supplemental oxygen 24/7. They did a sleep study on me and found I my oxygen level dropped to 82% and I stop breathing 70 times an hour when I am sleeping. Monday, I'm going to be set up with a device to make sure my breathing is up to a normal range when I am sleeping and breathes for me when I stop. The wonder of modern medical care! Well, I'm sure that's a lot more than some of you wanted to hear. In short, my Doctor says I must give up this fight if I want to continue living.
The letters I'm getting from Chad sound like he has almost been "brain washed" and has no idea what is going on. In last letter he states he wonders what is going on in the Investigation into his attack and rape charge? I got a letter at the end of October, in response to one I had written to him regarding his case, which stated the Investigation he ordered, could not find any proof to sustain his allegations. None of the Inmates or C/O's, saw anything. He didn't report the rape for 3 days and it was another 3 days before they did the rape kit thing and their report was they felt the sex had been consensual. You know, Chad said in July when it happened, he wasn't going to report it but, ended up not being able to handle it and freaked out. He was put on Suicide watch for several days because of it. He has been treated like he committed the crime, being lied to, threatened, and abused. I know he knows of the outcome because he's been writing and asking me to write the DA and others to ask for an Appeal. I've been trying but, what can be done when it has been very obvious to me, that there is no way the Prison is going to let this get out? They are already under Investigation for Inmate abuse by the C/O's. The more he fights, the more trouble he gets in to. Last week, I talked to the lady, from the Ombudsman Office, who has been trying to help me with Chad's issues, and she said she was going to try to get him moved so he can get some mental care and therapy. In Chad's last letter he mentioned it sounded like he was going to get moved to an EOP (Enhanced Out Patient) area, but he doesn't know why. It is an area where Inmates with mental issues get therapy. So, it sounds like she was able to pull some strings and I just pray it will help. And, that he will get transferred to another prison soon.
Well, again, I get started discussing my problems and I end up writing a book. It does really help to vent though and I thank all of you who listened, again. (I also posted this on another Forum which I'm sure some of you subscribe to)
Donna K

dereksmom
12-20-2003, 10:25 PM
Thank you grammyk....

Dannysmom
12-21-2003, 07:52 AM
Grammy K,
That is what we are here for to listen . That is what this site is about. You sound like you have more than you can handle. I have to sleep with the c pap machine also . it took me a while to get use to it. I quite breathing over149 times in less than 2 hours. It is not easy to fight for our kids that are men now. The prison system stinks. There needs to be a better way. Your books do not bother me and any time you feel like talking you can message me . If you have yahoo messenger my nick on there is kcdelight419. I am on off and on right now . I am sewing for my nine grandkids and running back and forth to pick up my grandson and I will be going to see my son on Christmas Eve for a food visit.All I can tell you is hang in there. One day at a time is all you can take and you have to take care of your self. If you do not who will be there for your son. Hugs take care
Dannysmom

grammyk
12-26-2003, 10:34 PM
I hope everyone was able to have as great a Christmas as possible. My #1 & #2 son's and their families, which included 6 Grandkids were here for the day. My #3 son was able to join us via speaker phone for about an hour as we sang Christmas songs and conversations. We sat a 13x11 picture of #4 son Chad, who is in prison in a chair, and included him in the festivals in spirit. At one point, 9 year of Jeremy went over to his picture and said "Uncle Chad, you are not singing." What a clown, he is! All in all it was a very special day. It was a bit rough for me when everybody left. Chad is not doing well at all. I do know if I had it all to do over again, I would not have turned him in for committing the burglaries. In the past 5 months, he has gone from a Level 3 Inmate, with a perfect record to an Outpatient in a Medical Facilty in the SHU area. He has been totally "railroaded" by this prison within a prison. The promise of being relocated to a facility on a SNY, closer to where I live was changed. Sometime in the next 6 months or so, he is scheduled to be sent to Lancaster Prison, in Los Angeles Co., twice as far away from me than where he is. (Does anyone know anything about that Prison?) Myself, family and friends are writing letters to the Warden, other CA. Government Officials, and to the Editor of the Sacramento Bee, a paper who has covered abuse in the Prison in the past. Well again, thanks for allowing me to vent. And, again again :>), I hope everyone does the best they can to enjoy the rest of the Holiday and that the New Year brings us all new and happier beginnings.
Donna K

MsLynn
12-27-2003, 12:11 AM
I have one son in Prison and one in the county jail who could be looking at life in prison.
Ben is 23 and will be home in Feb 2004
Aaron is 21 and I just don't know if he will ever come home.
My heart aches feeling it my fault in some way. Like the rest of you mothers, I feel like someone has taken part of me away. And I really want it back...

Dannysmom
12-27-2003, 03:53 PM
Lynnie,
I know how you feel. The pain of having our kids in prison is not good. I went to see mine on Christmas eve and took him food. He ate and ate. a big mac a double quarter pounder and large fries with four soft tacos. my son is to be home in Feb 05 . All the kids were here today for our Christmas celebration. My son called from prison and got to talk to all of us. He does that every year. His wife and five kids were here I only lacked one of my grandkids being here. And of course my son. We had a good time and lots to eat. All we can do is hang in there and be as supportive as we can be.
dannysmom

Pammie55us
01-14-2004, 06:05 PM
I have 1 son in prison (Matt) and 1 in jail waiting for sentencing (Shane). I use to come in here on a regular basis and when Shane got into all the trouble he did I just went into a tial spin and sort of shut down for a good while....I know all the reason to keep open and stay in contact, but I just couldn't handle it and now I'm glad to be back and doing my best to go forward from this day on....I didn't need any help being any more crazy than what I already was, but I guess thats part of a childs job to make ya just a little more insane...I've really missed being here....Always...

Dannysmom
01-14-2004, 06:32 PM
Pammie,
It can not be easy with two boys in the judical system. I know it is bad enough having one in it. Just hang with us we are here for each other. It is a long haul no matter how long of a time it is . My son has been in prison for 4 yrs and has another year to serve. If there is anything I can do just let me know.
dannysmom aka Beckie

mom@4
01-14-2004, 07:17 PM
Wow, this is a very powerful site. Everyone of these posts defines the heartache and pain of being the Mom of a prisoner. Like so many of you I still have difficulty coming to terms with what has happened to my son and family, and like you the tears just keep on flowing. My younest son is in prison for a crime he did not commit. In the early days we all believed in the system and felt that justice would prevail. It didnt. Our naivete and ignorance of the sytem did not help. I wish I had known about PTO from the beginning.

One of the things that has struck me while reading these posts is how in many instances the situation our children now face have come about through such things as one bad decision, a terrible twist of fate, or misplaced loyalty. I think there are many people who could say "there but for the grace of God go I" The stories on these pages are potent reminders of the very thin line that separates people on the inside and out. Once crossed this thin line becomes a deep abyss. I wish that every one of our children develop the wings to soar above this.

Now the sad thing is that as I write this there are many more Mom's about to face what we are all going through. I wonder if there is anything productive we could do as a group to help such Moms or to help kids think twice or make them more savvy to the realities of life. Can we use our collective experience to write a book, a pamphlet educate? Any ideas? Turn our heartache into something special.

Finally someone shared the following with me, I do not know who authored it but for me it sums up PTO:

A person was walking along when they fell into a very deep hole that appeared impossible to get out of. The person cried out for help. Shortly a politician walked by. "Please can you help me get out of this" the person asked. "Well let me see what I can do for you. I'll get back to you later, maybe I can ask someone to study this and provide some answers" with that the politician left. Next a neighbour jogged by. "Please help me its very dark down here and I'm feeling very lonely and I want to get out" said the person. "Well I'm sorry I'm in such a hurry and I have too much to do tonight, I'll drop by later and bring you something to eat" replied the neighbour. Finally a friend walked by. "Please help me I don't know what to do to get out of here" cried the person. The friend jumped into the hole. "Why did you do that now we are both stuck in here" said the person. "Oh no" said the friend I have been in this hole before and I can show you the way out"

Pammie55us
01-14-2004, 08:12 PM
Thanks for the shoulder sugar....I've had to be tough so long...the boys have been in and out of trouble since they were young teenagers and it seems like that when Shane started last year with all this serious stuff if just got to be to much for me and I had to learn how to deal with it all over again...Kids, can't live with em and can't kill...of course I could have I have lots of friends....LOL....Thanks again sweetie.....

joshsdad
01-20-2004, 08:52 AM
HELLO EVERBODY JUST THOUGHT I LET EVERONE KNOW THAT I LEAVE TONIGHT GOING TO MONTGOERY FOR JOSHS PAROLE HEARING TOMORROW I SHOULD KNOW TOMORROW IF HE IS GRATED PAROLE PLEASE KEEP US IN YOUR PRAYERS MABY I WILL HAVE GOOD NEWS TOMORROW WILL LET EVERONE KNOW WHAT THE NEWS IS TOMORROW.__ :cuffs: :ham: :smash: :fb: _______CHARLES

Dannysmom
01-20-2004, 09:03 AM
We are praying for you . Hope you get to hear that fast my son we waited almost three months to know when he would be elgible for parole but I know each state is different . Good luck hope it is good news for you.
dannysmom

joshsdad
01-20-2004, 11:04 AM
We are praying for you . Hope you get to hear that fast my son we waited almost three months to know when he would be elgible for parole but I know each state is different . Good luck hope it is good news for you.
dannysmom
THANKS DAYSMOM I WILL KNOW TOMORROW WHAT HE WILL GET PAROLE OR NOT WILL LET EVERONE KNOW AS QUICK AS I GET BACK HOME__JOSHSDAD :ham: :cuffs:

Pammie55us
01-20-2004, 01:43 PM
I'll keep you in my prayers....I hope it's good news for you and Josh....Be safe on the trip.....Matt & Shanes Mom

grammyk
01-20-2004, 09:07 PM
Good luck Dad~~You and Josh will be in my Prayers and I will anxiously be waiting for the awesome news that he got Paroled!

joshsdad
01-21-2004, 03:30 PM
HI EVERBODY
GOT GREAT NEWS TODAY JOSH MADE HIS PAROLE HE SHOULD BE HOME IN 3 OR 4 WEEKS THANKS TO EVERBODY WHO SAID A PRAYER OR SENT US A GOOD WISH. THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART I WILL STILL BE ON P T O I DONT THINK I COULD HAVE MADE IT THIS 9 MONTHS WITHOUT P T O AND ALL OF YOU NOW I WONT TO BE HERE TO TRY AND HELP ALL OF YOU ANY WAY I CAN ONCE AGAIN THANKS___PRAISE THE LORD
_______JOSHSDAD______--- ;) :) :rolleyes: :fb:

saa77
01-21-2004, 04:47 PM
Hi Everyone
I also have a son in prison age 34.Since he had a past record for breakins. He was given 15 years 5 to do. This was for breaking a store window and taking nothing. The Judge allow him to stay out until after Christmas and turn himself in to start his time.So the day after Christmas of year 2000 was the worst day of my life as I had to drive him to the jail knowing he would not walk out again for 5 years.Yes it made it worst than if they would have taken him when sentenced.Since he has been there he has been beaten by the guards and almost died and will have problems for the rest of his life.
I feel for all of you as I know how bad all this hurts.And the worst thing is the state makes money to keep them there with our store money we send- the collect calls.Makes you wonder who should be in prison.
Please everyone write the Congress and let them know how you feel about this also. Maybe if enough of us write they may listen.
Sylvia

grammyk
01-21-2004, 07:29 PM
JOSHDAD~~~~~~~PRAYERS ANSWERED! This is so great and has really filled my heart with joy!

grammyk
01-21-2004, 11:11 PM
Hi Sylvia. I can really relate to your heartache. Having 4 sons who, as youngsters, tested the legal system a few times, I made several trips to juvenile hall to visit them, after I turned them in, in the hopes of deterring their Illegal antics. This time was it was serious, as my youngest son was an adult when he committed the crimes for which he is serving 14 years, 6 to go. My son has been so mentally and physically abused these past 5 months, we hardly recognize him. He made the mistake of naming a C/O in connection with an attack and rape he received in July. It has been very hard for me to remain positive, but that is what I did, and continue to do so in all my many letters to my son. He has told me it has helped to keep him from giving up. I have been taking out my frustrations on those involved with him. I got names and ext #'s of those people, and have bombarded them with questions and my thoughts of the way he has been treated. Every time I got a letter from my son telling me of the abuse, I called the Prison. My "friend" in the Ombudsman Office, was always very patient and helpful to me. She listened, visited my son several times, and explained procedure as well as admitting in many cases, "hands were tied". I also wrote to the Warden of my concerns over the way he was being treated during the investigation of the attack and just recently, of his mental well-being. It may just be coincidence, but in the past couple of letters from my son he has said he is getting better medical care. I really do believe the best help we can give our loved ones in Prison is while not minimizing the injustice and inhumane treatment they suffer, to remain upbeat and positive in our letters to them. My son enjoys my letters of "when I just talk" as he puts it. And, I talk about myself growing up and the good times our families have had together as well as the many antics he and his brothers (3) pulled on me. And, send pictures and funny cards. And, as you say Sylvia, write to Congress as well as the Ombudsman Office of the County of the Prison, to the Editors of the Newspapers & the Media. And, don't forget the Warden. "Doing the time for doing the crime" does not mean treating humans like animals. (I do pause for a moment, as I do realize there are Prisoners who could meet that exception). But, even they have families who deserve compassion for what their loved ones have done. Well, as my son says, I do talk a lot :~). Just hang in here with us as we continue to lean on each other.

joshsdad
01-22-2004, 02:42 AM
JOSHDAD~~~~~~~PRAYERS ANSWERED! This is so great and has really filled my heart with joy!
THANKS SO MUCH GRAMMYK THANK YOU FOR ALL THE PRAYERS IT HAS RELLY BEEN A LOG HARD 10 MOTHS BUT IT IS ABOUT TO FINLEY END I GUESS THIS WILL BE THE LOGEST 3 OR 4 WEEKS I HAVE SPENT ONCE AGAIN THANKS _______JOSHSDAD :rolleyes: :cool: :fb:

Pammie55us
01-22-2004, 01:14 PM
I'm so glad to hear that he got his parole....tell him we're all very happy for him and for ya'll too....Pam....Matt & Shanes Mom

joshsdad
01-22-2004, 03:54 PM
I'm so glad to hear that he got his parole....tell him we're all very happy for him and for ya'll too....Pam....Matt & Shanes Mom
thanks so much pammie55us if i can ever help you just pm me it was a great yesterday but it will even be better the day i go to pick him up once again thanks________joshsdad :) ;) :ham:

Pammie55us
01-22-2004, 04:42 PM
I'm just so glad that it all worked out this way and thats a two way street if I can ever help just give me a holler.....Hugs...Pam...Matt & Shanes Mom :fb:

REV
01-25-2004, 06:10 PM
Hi everyone, I too have a son in prison (federal) my babyboy and best friend. He's at Allenwood USP in White Deer, Pa. I'm trying to get directions to go and see him this coming weekend. He called this week not doing well. The first time I heard that sound coming from him since he went down. Anyway I pray all the time for all that has been taken from their families and locked up. I have started a ministry in my church called MOMS it's a support group for the family of those in the system.

If you know anyone that might have directions to reach Allenwood or the street or road name it will be helpful...until I speak with you again my prayers and God's blessings til then.

Rev

joshsdad
01-25-2004, 07:29 PM
Hi everyone, I too have a son in prison (federal) my babyboy and best friend. He's at Allenwood USP in White Deer, Pa. I'm trying to get directions to go and see him this coming weekend. He called this week not doing well. The first time I heard that sound coming from him since he went down. Anyway I pray all the time for all that has been taken from their families and locked up. I have started a ministry in my church called MOMS it's a support group for the family of those in the system.

If you know anyone that might have directions to reach Allenwood or the street or road name it will be helpful...until I speak with you again my prayers and God's blessings til then.

Rev
hello rev. go to yahoo on your comp. then go to yahoo maps tipe in your street address then type in the address of where your son is street address a must then hit print it will print you a map to the front gate where he is at__joshsdad :ham:

grammyk
01-25-2004, 09:31 PM
Hi Rev. In doing a search on the Prison, all it gives is a PO Box. USP Allenwood
P.O. Box 3500 White Deer, Pennsylvania 17887 570-547-0963. If you call the Prison, they should be able to give you directions.
If this is your first time here, I just want to welcome you. My son has served almost 5 years of an 11 year sentence, and these people have been a life-saver for me. There are so many Forums and Threads here, you can usually find one that will be able to answer any question you have. You may be able to get more help on directions in the PA area. My thoughts and Prayers are with you Mom.

sb711
01-26-2004, 10:05 PM
well I have heard many have sons in jail but i have a daughter who is 18 years old and got sentenced to 10 years in prison, she was 17 at the time, this has been her first offense never been in trouble with the law, was a college student she got caught with the wrong crowd, and being the only girl and young one at that those so called friends she was with pointed the finger at her! She has a drug related case. My daughter is not a hard core criminal!
I know the system in Texas sucks! Here they let murders, child molesters go easy and someone with no criminal background, going to college and they put her away for a long time. This is so messed up! And what really sucks is that I wasn't able to do more for her. Yes she had a lawyer, but he wasn't a big time lawyer he tried hard, but not enough to get her probation. It is so hard for me and our family because we have never been through something like this. I just feel that they took advantage because we are not people who are rich and my daughter was so naive and vunerable at the time. But all i can do is have faith in God that she'll be coming home soon.

grammyk
01-27-2004, 02:45 AM
Welcome to our "Home", sb711. This is really sad. My son is a repeated offender-burglary-and his PD was able to get his sentence down to 11 years. He was 18 the first time and served 8 months of "easy" time, as far a being in jail goes, and 24 the second time. He, too, was on drugs both times. But, even he agrees, his time did fit the crime, in fact he felt lucky that was all he got, as it was a 3rd offense. Is there no way her case can not be brought up on appeal? As far as I can see, all Prison Systems suck! What you say is so true and it is not always the fault of the Lawyers but the Judges weigh in heavily also. The PD suggested we get as many family and friends we could, to write character letters for him. Even one of the Victims, who knew my son, wrote a letter for him. I think it helped. My son has really gone though hell in Prison, but he is a man and I have put almost all my energy into supporting him with letters to him and every outreach, i.e.: Governor, Senators, Editors of local Newspapers, the Warden, etc. and mega numbers of calls to the calls to the Prison. For me, if he would have been a young daughter, I don't think I would be doing so well. My heart and my Prayers go out to you and her. Please keep talking with us.

Dannysmom
01-27-2004, 09:20 AM
Rev,
Welcome to Pto . when I did a search in the federal prison site here is what I got
Allenwood (Low)
P.O. Box 1500
White Deer, Pennsylvania 17887
570-547-1990
Fax: 570-547-1740
Security Level: Low/Male
Facility Code: ALF

FCI Allenwood (Medium)
P.O. Box 2500
White Deer, Pennsylvania 17887
570-547-7950
Fax: 570-547-7751
Security Level: Medium/Male
Facility Code: ALM

FPC Allenwood
P.O. Box 1000
Montgomery, Pennsylvania 17752
570-547-1641
Fax: 570-547-1504
Security Level: Minimum/Male
Facility Code: ALW

USP Allenwood
P.O. Box 3500
White Deer, Pennsylvania 17887
570-547-0963
Fax: 570-547-9201
Security Level: High/Male
Facility Code: ALP
It would depend what allenwood prison your son is in but you could call the site and ask for directions since there is no street address. here is the site I got the information from.
http://www.bop.gov/
I hope this helps.
dannysmom

Pammie55us
01-27-2004, 03:39 PM
You can also go to Pennsylvannia.gov and get info on the prison and where it is down to the mile...My sons are in Tennessee and the Tn. goverment has all of the info of prisons in Tn. on line.....Hope you get the info you need...I know how important it is not only to our children who are in prison wanting a visit, but to us the parent to be able to see them and know their ok....Let us know what ya find out....Pam...Matt & Shanes Mom

Dannysmom
01-27-2004, 08:44 PM
Pammie,
It did not give that much info on the pennsylvia federal prison. I looked.
dannysmom

Pammie55us
01-27-2004, 09:41 PM
Sorry that it didn't give much info....Tennessee is really good about it...Hope you can find the info you need sugar...Hugs..Pam..Matt & Shanes Mom

joshsdad
01-29-2004, 05:50 PM
:smash: hi everbody got great news today joshs release date is feb. 5 1 week from today man dont you know this will be a long week of all the times i have been to bullock c. f. to visit him this is one trip i have been lookig foward to!!!!! :ham: ;) charles

Pammie55us
01-29-2004, 08:57 PM
I'm so excited for you ....I know you must be about to come outta your skin just having to wait...I will keep ya'll in my prayers and just so happy for you and Josh...Keep us posted and let us know how it's going....I know this will be one long week for you, but after this week you have a whole life time together ...HUGS and God Bless....Pam..Matt & Shanes Mom :fb:

Dannysmom
01-29-2004, 09:46 PM
I am so happy for you . I am glad he is coming home . It will be a long week but one you will like the out come of.
Hugs to all of you
dannysmom

Little woman
01-29-2004, 11:18 PM
DO YOU HAVE A SON OR DAUGHTER IN PRISON?

Hi my name is Barbara and I have a son in prison in California. I know the pain and helplessness this causes in your life so I thought we might work together to help each other. I would like to use this thread to list those of us who have children in prison. I put together the birthday card list each month and you might want to give me your loved ones info also. You can send it to me in a PM or post it here if you would like us to send greeting cards. Our problems with having children in prison are different than those of husbands and wives so please help us to form a bond here in this forum. Love Barbara

Barbara,

I agree with you totally. I have a son in prison and he is 21. He has been in since he was 18. We live in Oregon and they have this law Measure 11. It means you get the sentenced and can not get out early. This has been the worst thing i have ever had to deal with. I miss him so much and no one here knows how it teairs at your heart. I think what you are doing is great.

beckylee
02-01-2004, 02:55 PM
Hi all -
This forum is blessing! I just found this site yesterday and became a registered user. My son is in Cobb Co Georgia awaiting transfer to Jackson for evaluation. He has other charges pending there & goes to court tomorrow. He is trying to get it settled and start his time. He is 35 - had a great job, wonderful wife and three great kids. As he said, "I had it all and I tossed it" He became a meth addict. Nothing ever prepares one for this. It has been a terrible year. I expected a call every day telling me he was dead. Thank God he was arrested before that happened. He says the same thing. He doesn't think he would have lived much longer on the street. He has taken responsibility and is trying to turn his life around. He is my soul mate - I grieve for him pain. Our hope and prayer is that good comes from all of this. He was shot in the neck in April 2003 and lived. I think there was a reason. I feel closer to him now that I have in a few years. I love and miss him. I'm also watching his children suffer and it breaks my heart.
Thank you for having a place to say this. My thoughts and prayers to all of you.

peanut's mama
02-01-2004, 04:41 PM
DO YOU HAVE A SON OR DAUGHTER IN PRISON?

Hi my name is Barbara and I have a son in prison in California. I know the pain and helplessness this causes in your life so I thought we might work together to help each other. I would like to use this thread to list those of us who have children in prison. I put together the birthday card list each month and you might want to give me your loved ones info also. You can send it to me in a PM or post it here if you would like us to send greeting cards. Our problems with having children in prison are different than those of husbands and wives so please help us to form a bond here in this forum. Love Barbara
Hello Barbara, how are you. I have a 24 year old son in upstate new york with Mr. Jones who suggested that come to the site. Well my baby boy went into the system a teenager and is now a young man, with all of his years of youth behind him. I believe Mr. Jones is your nephew, but I don't for sure. Anyway again I am new to the site, but I am glad that I was referred to the site because up until now there was no one for me to talk to that could relate to this order from a mother's perspective that I new of. My son was sentenced to 2 3 1/2 to 7 year sentences to be run concurrent and 2 3 1/2 to 7 years to run consecutive all for one indictment for a total of 7 to 14 years which really doesn't make a lot of sense, because he seems to have recieve his co-defendents sentence to serve along with his sentence while his co-defendent was given a yo with 6 months to be served on weekends.

Dannysmom
02-01-2004, 06:15 PM
Welcome Jerry"s mom , I do know your pain my son has served 4 years and has another year to go. The war on drugs is putting our young men in prison. The prisons are over loaded. My son says he is a prisoner of war. I do believe this. I think the judical system is not working too many people going to prison . Hang in here with us Jerry's mom this is a good site you will find a world of people going through the same thing you are.
dannysmom

Deb D.
02-03-2004, 12:37 PM
Hi all. This is my first time here. I stumbled across this site. My son is in our county jail at this time, with the chance to go off to prison at any time I guess. He is scheduled to be released in Nov. of this year, so I'm hoping they'll leave him where he's at. I wish I had known about this site earlier. I've read several of your postings, and I know how you are feeling. Just wanted to check in. Thanks for being here.

Pammie55us
02-03-2004, 12:48 PM
So glad ya'll found this site....there is so many moms here who are going thru the same thing....I have 2 sons who got mixed up in drugs and my youngest one Matt age 20 is in prison my oldest is 22 Shane and he's in jail here in Chatt. Tn. waiting on his court date the 24th of this month....I agree with you about them ending up in jail was the best thing that could of happened or they would of been dead....Just wanted you to know your never alone here....Pam...Matt & Shanes Mom

beckylee
02-04-2004, 03:23 PM
Hi All -
My son was transferred to the GA Diag facility in Jackson, GA today. We knew it was coming, were ready for this next step, but it somehow caught me off guard. I talked to him last night. He was ready to go. Because he just got a court date for March in the county that had been holding him, I assumed that he would be held until after that. Oh well, I'm missing him
Jerry's Mom

Pammie55us
02-05-2004, 01:56 PM
I'm sorry that they came and got him like that...thats how they did Matt...He told me they came at 4 in the morning and got him...Now I know how they work, so when they sentence Shane he's going to have someone call me and let me know they came and got him...I hope all goes well for him there...Hugs..Pam..Matt & Shanes Mom