I just got off the phone with my boyfriend and he got a letter from his baby momma now he has not gotten a letter from her since September and she was talking crazy about me because she just found out about me. She told him if you were gonna pick someone to marry you could have picked someone from your own race and I hope she is rich because you are gonna pay child support. She also told him that he would never see his children because of me being white. So we were talking and he said no matter what she said or what anyone else says we would be together and none of it should matter. It does bother me not that I need her approval but that she would be so childish to keep his children away from me just because I am not her color. We did not decide to get married until he went in and was only together for 4 months before that so she never met me, so now that she knows who I am it doesn't bother her that I could be a bad person, the only thing bothering this girl is that I am white! Has anyone else had any problems with this? And if so has it affected your relationship? I am really mad right now:angry: but I know that it is something I will probably have to deal with. Thanks for listening.

Well, she might be able to prevent him from seeing the kids while he's in prison, but once he's out, that will be completely up to the courts, irregardless of if you are white, purple, orange or polka dotted. It is silly and it IS immuture, but some folks will use WHATEVER means they can to get their way. It's a shame that she would use their child(ren) that way, but it happens all the time. ANY excuse they can manage. If you were of his ethnicity, then she would say you are too skinny or too fat or too tall, or too uppity or too far below him or WHATEVER she could come up with.

Hang in there. And remember, he's not with her, so apparently he's figured out she's got a few characteristics he doesn't want. ;)

Jenn

...she's mad cuz he's with you, not your color, that's just an excuse! He loves you, not your color!

Girl, I am almost in the exact same situation with my man..but his babie's mama don't know yet... but he has already made it very clear to me that she is going to freak out about me being a white girl and him and his family have told me she will try and use his girls against him to try and split us up, its messed up and very unfair. The father of my child is white and he isn't with a white girl and I have nothing against her because I have no feelings left for my babie's daddy, what it comes down to is she still wants your man, just as my mans ex still wants him. I guess we just have to remember that they are with us..not them! :o) Its hard and I don't imagine it will be an easy road for either one of us but when you love someone you stick with it!

I'll bet you that his baby's momma isn't mad that he's with a white girl as much as she's mad that he's moved on with his life. She was probably hoping to get back together with him (because sometimes in unhealthy relationships, that's what people do, even though they say they don't want to, and they probably shouldn't). Your boyfriend shouldn't worry about not seeing the kids. Once she finds that he's been released, and that you two are living happily, she'll drop the kids off on you two so that you guys can take care of them for a while, while she goes out with her friends.

At least, that's what happened to me a long long time ago.....

I have dealt with something similar to this with my husband's family. We dated for several years before we got married. From the moment I met them, I was referred to as 'the white girl' and 'a phase'. We have been married for almost 4 years now and to this day, they still look at me like they can't believe I am still around.

I understand your situation, my boyfriend is black and i am white. personally, i think that this girl is mainly jealous because he is yours and you are the one who is going to marry him. i would just let her rant and rave all she wants its going to show you that she has no character or respect. i think you should just drown her out, if possible and be happy with your man. If you ever need to talk more im just a pm away!!!

i agree with the others. she's upset because they are no longer together, and that he's with you.

i haven't had to deal with this situation, but i do know how it feels to have to deal with "the baby mama".

i hope i don't have to deal with this...not for my sake, but for his youngest baby's sake...who still lives with his mother. but i doubt if she would make a huge fuss over it...she's moved on with her life.

but then again...plenty of people who i thought "didn't care" have made mountains out of molehills with the race thing between us. so i suppose i'll see when we get there huh.

...she's mad cuz he's with you, not your color, that's just an excuse!
I agree with that. Do not let this mess be your mess. Let him deal with it completely. It is not your fault that she didn't have what it takes to keep him. Focus on your relationship, and, if you can, don't even talk about her -- ignore that set.

I checked it out and in my state, his ex cannot get child support based on my income. She is married to someone else over 5 years and had the nerve to tell his kids, his family, and even her husband and my man that she wanted him back! she wrote him saying she wanted him back. I was so angry! she plays constant games, and lies to me about things all the time, to cause trouble in our relationship. I know what she is about now.

I agree with the others about the fact that he loves you for you . she is just jealous over the fact that he is not with her no more .. she needs to get a grip and realize that he has moved on and is happy where he is .. She is the past and you are his future

Most definitely character. I agree with everyone. Just don't let the jealousy get to you. It's such a terrible thing and hurts so many people. This comes after being a victim of this kind of thing myself.

Definitely character matters more than race. I've had the same situation with his baby momma saying stuff about me being white. She's trying to use that to get back with him now saying he shouldn't break up my family b/c they don't want me w/ a black guy. But, it's not gonna work so she might as well forget about it. I think it's just another thing to b**** about b/c she's just mad b/c she doesn't have him and you do. I just wouldn't worry about it.

Some people are just ignorant!! There is prejudicism in every race. But I do believe it's because you're the "other woman" not because of your color that's just seems to be the first thing out of people's mouth when they can't say anything else about you. Hang in there!!!!

She is just jealous that he is with you and not her. Some women just can't seem to get over the fact that they are past and we are present. Don't let her get to you, it's not worth it.

character:thumbsup:

Sweetie she is just jealous that he is with you.. she is hating on something she can not change.. As long as you 2 are happy to hell with the rest of them.. This situation can only make you 2 stronger.. Keep ya head up sweetie...

It's not your bussiness what happens between him and her. She's not going to like you no matter what anyway. Don't get sucked into that drama. Let him handle his problem with his Ex. Stay out. Don't let his Ex become part of your life. My man's got a baby's mamma in his life too. It's not my problem and it's not gonna be.

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It's funny that so many of us go through the same situations! The best part is my husband's daughter(whom he hasn't seen in over 2 yrs) her mother is mixed herself but was mad that he is with me...screamed at him you're gonna choose that white b**** over me that just goes to show you how ignorant and immature people can be! The sad part she is only hurting her daughter in the end. I've tried as well as he has to give her my numbers so I can bring her to see him but come on really it isn't my responsibility to do so some people just need to grow up!:idea:

It is all about character. Ladies....and that is what we are....It matters not if our skin tone is different. It's what is on the inside..and we all bleed red. Our bones are all the same color. Jealousy is the only cause of hate. If he didn't stay with her, then why should it be a problem if he's with someone he wants to be with???? The babies are just a weapon. It's a shame.

........