View Full Version : You Know You Are From New York When...


jasonsonlyboo
04-03-2005, 08:46 PM
You say "the city" and expect everyone to know that this means Manhattan.

You have never been to the Statue of Liberty or the Empire State Building.

You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park at 3:30 on the Friday before a long weekend, but canít find Wisconsin on a map.

Hookers and the homeless are invisible.

The subway makes sense.

You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multi-lingual.

You've considered stabbing someone just for saying "The Big Apple".

The most frequently used part of your car is the horn.

You call an 8' x 10' plot of patchy grass a yard.

You consider Westchester "upstate".

You think Central Park is "nature."

You see nothing odd about the speed of an auctioneer's speaking.

You're paying $1,200 for a studio the size of a walk-in closet and you think it's a "steal."

You've been to New Jersey twice and got hopelessly lost both times.

You pay more each month to park your car than most people in the U.S. pay in rent.

You haven't seen more than twelve stars in the night sky since you went away to camp as a kid.

You go to dinner at 9 and head out to the clubs when most Americans are heading to bed.

Your closet is filled with black clothes.

You haven't heard the sound of true absolute silence since the 80s, and when you did, it terrified you.

You pay $5 without blinking for a beer that cost the bar 28 cents.

You take fashion seriously.

Being truly alone makes you nervous.

You have 27 different menus next to your telephone.

Going to Brooklyn is considered a "road trip."

America west of the Hudson is still theoretical to you.

You've gotten jaywalking down to an art form.

You take a taxi to get to your health club to exercise.

Your idea of personal space is no one actually standing on your toes.

$50 worth of groceries fit in one paper bag.

You have a minimum of five "worst cab ride ever" stories.

You don't notice sirens anymore.

You live in a building with a larger population than most American towns.

Your doorman is Russian, your grocer is Korean your deli man is Israeli, your building super is Italian, your laundry guy is Chinese, your favorite bartender is Irish, your favorite diner owner is Greek, the watchseller on your corner is Senegalese, your last cabbie was Pakistani, your newsstand guy is Indian and your favorite falafel guy is Egyptian.

You're suspicious of strangers who are actually nice to you.

You secretly envy cabbies for their driving skills.

You think $7.00 to cross a bridge is a fair price.

Your door has more than three locks.

Your favorite movie has DeNiro in it.

You consider eye contact an act of overt aggression.

You run when you see a flashing "Do Not Walk" sign at the intersection.

You're 35 years old and don't have a driver's license.

You ride in a subway car with no air conditioning just because there are seats available.

You're willing to take in strange people as roommates simply to help pay the rent.

There is no North and South. It's uptown or downtown.

When you're away from home, you miss "real" pizza and "real" bagels.

You know the differences between all the different Ray's Pizzas.

You're not in the least bit interested in going to Times Square on New Year's Eve.

Your internal clock is permanently set to know when Alternate Side of the Street parking regulations are in effect.

You know what a bodega is.

You know how to fold the New York Times in half, vertically, so that you can read it on the subway or bus without knocking off other passenger's hats.

Someone bumps into you, and you check for your wallet.....

You cringe at hearing people pronounce Houston St. like the city in Texas

Film crews on your block annoy you, not excite you.

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from NYC.
LOLZZZZZ

taffy
04-03-2005, 09:16 PM
This was really funny !!! I'm from Alabama, and thought we were the only ones that had the local things like "you might be a redneck if...." I love it when I read something that makes me laugh out loud sitting here in my house, really quiet, all by myself....Thanks...you made my evening !! Boy, I'd be in serious trouble in NY with the direct eye contact thing....hehehe...part of what I do for a living...

jeffsprincess
04-03-2005, 09:26 PM
LMFAO!!!! And so true!!!!!!

haswtch
04-03-2005, 09:49 PM
makes me grateful for being an upstate hick LOL

trescheek
04-04-2005, 09:05 AM
When you're away from home, you miss "real" pizza and "real" bagels.


LOLZZZZZ

This one hit home for me ... living in the DC metro area, o how I miss "real" pizza, bagels (and Chinese food)! I say that to ppl down here and they think I'm lying when I tell them that the worst pizza in NY is better than anything they have down here! And I'm not even gonna speak on the bagels and Chinese food! Ugh!!! Whenever I'm back home I'm like an addict trying to get my fix of pizza! :D

PhillyGurLL
04-04-2005, 09:11 AM
I live in Philadelphia, PA, but I have family and friends in Manhattan and those are funny! I have to post a PHILLY one!

starzzmom
04-04-2005, 06:56 PM
I love these!!! Oh sooooo true! I am sending this to everyone.

LADYCEE
11-29-2005, 07:40 PM
1. YOU'RE 35 YEARS OLD AND DON'T HAVE A DRIVER'S LICENSE.
2. YOU RIDE IN A SUBWAY CAR WITH NO AIR CONDITIONING JUST BECAUSE THERE ARE SEATS AVAILABLE.
3. YOU TAKE THE TRAIN HOME AND YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHERE ON THE PLATFORM THE DOORS WILL OPEN THAT WILL LEAVE YOU RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE EXIT STAIRWAY.
4. YOU KNOW WHAT A "REGULAR" COFFEE IS.
5. IT'S NOT MANHATTAN; IT'S THE "CITY".
6. YOU GET UPSET THAT A CABBIE IS OBEYING ALL THE RULES OF THE ROAD.
7. YOU'RE WILLING TO TAKE IN STRANGE PEOPLE AS ROOMMATES SIMPLY TO HELP PAY THE RENT.
8. THERE IS NO NORTH AND SOUTH. IT'S "UPTOWN" OR "DOWNTOWN." .... AND EAST OR WEST IS "CROSS-TOWN."
9. YOU CROSS THE STREET ANYWHERE BUT ON THE CORNERS AND YOU YELL AT CARS FOR NOT RESPECTING YOUR RIGHT TO DO IT.
10. YOU MOVE 8,000 MILES AWAY, SPEND 10 YEARS LEARNING THE LOCAL LANGUAGE AND PEOPLE STILL KNOW YOU'RE FROM MANHATTAN (or BROOKLYN) THE MINUTE YOU OPEN YOUR MOUTH.
11. YOU RETURN AFTER 10 YEARS AND THE FIRST FOODS YOU WANT ARE A "REAL" PIZZA AND A "REAL" BAGEL.
12. A 500 SQUARE FOOT APARTMENT FOR $380,000 IS A BARGAIN.
13. YOUR CO-WORKER COMMUTES 45 MINUTES BY TRAIN TO A 2,000 SQUARE FOOT HOUSE IN THE SUBURBS THAT WAS THE SAME PRICE AS THAT SAME 500 SQUARE FOOT APARTMENT OF YOURS THAT TAKES ONLY 35 MINUTES TO GET TO AND YOU THINK HE'S A SUCKER.
14. YOU KNOW THE DIFFERENCES BETWEEN ALL THE DIFFERENT RAY'S PIZZAS.
15. YOU ARE NOT UNDER THE MISTAKEN IMPRESSION THAT ANY HUMAN BEING WOULD BE ABLE TO ACTUALLY UNDERSTAND A P.A. ANNOUNCEMENT ON SUBWAY.
16. YOU KNOW WHO MR. G. IS.
17. YOU HAVE AT LEAST 50 MENUS! IN YOUR APARTMENT, TWO THIRDS OF WHICH YOU HAVE NEITHER ORDERED FROM NOR EVEN HEARD OF.
18. YOU WOULDN'T BOTHER ORDERING PIZZA IN ANY OTHER CITY.
19. YOU KNOW THAT OFF-THE-SHELF INSECTICIDES ARE JUST LAUGHING GAS TO THE SUPERIOR ROACHES COHABITATING WITH YOU IN THE 500 SQUARE FOOT APARTMENT.
20. YOU GET READY TO ORDER DINNER EVERY NIGHT AND MUST CHOOSE FROM THE MAJOR FOOD GROUPS which are: CHINESE, ITALIAN, THAI, MEXICAN OR INDIAN.
21. YOU'RE NOT THE LEAST BIT INTERESTED IN GOING TO TIMES SQUARE ON NEW YEAR'S EVE.
22. YOUR INTERNAL CLOCK IS PERMANENTLY SET TO KNOW WHEN ALTERNATE SIDE OF THE STREET PARKING REGULATIONS ARE IN EFFECT.
23. YOU KNOW WHAT A BODEGA IS.
24. YOU KNOW HOW TO FOLD THE NEW YORK TIMES IN HALF, VERTICALLY, SO THAT YOU CAN READ IT ON THE SUBWAY OR BUS WITHOUT KNOCKING OFF OTHER PASSENGER'S HATS.
SOMEONE BUMPS INTO YOU, AND YOU CHECK FOR YOUR WALLET.
25. YOU PAY "ONLY" $530 A MONTH TO PARK YOUR CAR.
26. YOU CRINGE AT HEARING PEOPLE PRONOUNCE HOUSTON ST. LIKE THE CITY IN TEXAS.
27. THE PRESIDENTIAL VISIT IS A MAJOR TRAFFIC JAM, NOT AN HONOR.
28. FILM CREWS ON YOUR BLOCK ANNOY YOU, NOT EXCITE YOU. (THEY TAKE UP ALL THE PARKING SPACES!)
29. YOU CAN NAP ON THE SUBWAY AND NEVER MISS YOUR STOP.
30. THE DELI GUY GIVES YOU A STRAW WITH ANY BEVERAGE YOU BUY, EVEN IF IT'S A BEER.
31. THAT'S NEW YORK, BABY! YA GOTTA LOVE IT.
32. IF YOU ARE A TRUE NEW YORKER SEND THIS TO EVERYONE LIKE YOURSELF

starzzmom
11-29-2005, 09:10 PM
HA HA!!! LOVE IT!!!
I really needed that today, Thanks Ladycee!

Manzanita
11-30-2005, 05:44 AM
I merged these two ;)

babygurl919
03-02-2006, 04:37 PM
HAHAHH those are really funny... thanks for sharing!!!

missvee1014
03-03-2006, 01:57 PM
too Funny!!:thumbsup:

JerseySeagull
03-03-2006, 02:11 PM
So true, so true. I don't find them funny, just facts. My son got his friends to take the train up to the city (we live in jersey uggg! now) after his prom to show them what REAL PIZZA is. And he moved when he was nine and still considers himself a New Yorker!

B.G
03-09-2006, 02:34 PM
You know you are from NY when the "er at the end of ya words is really an "a!!!!! LMAO


BX..Holla!