Hey all,

So here i am again! :D Well Loco and i are doing ok i guess we decided to just be friends or i dont know he sayz just friends but still makes all those lil comments we all love. He also claims just friends but triped the other night when i had one of my guy FRIENDS over. He started talkin bout how he couldnt belive i would bring another guy into our home and all this junk. Guys are so confusing....... I mean he claims to love me and that he is all for US but then is like i cant do this right now i cant be in a serious relationship because of the situation i'm in. Well i would think if your locked up you would want to be in a relationship to know someone is there to be by you regardless. I dont know i guess im just real confused myself cause i love this man but i also feel like i have put my life on hold for a guy who now 20 months later is like " i just want to be friends" whats that all about???? i dont know im jutst lost and any advice ould be wonderful. Oh yeah im getting nervouse cause i will be off probation in 4 weeks and will be able to visit him for the First time isince his incarseration!!!
Help Please

Loca

Hi there,
Well if he says he just wants to be friends then you have to look after number one when it comes down to it. If you see other people and it bugs him then maybe he should think long and hard about what he has said. He can't have it both ways and you are only human. Even if you love him and he doesnt want what you want, you have every right to look for it elsewhere. So dont be nervous or scared, and if he doesnt like it then Im sure you will hear him changing his mind soon enough and you can re-think it all then. So if you want more from him, the ball is in his court right now, just wait and see what happens, but in the meantime, live your life.
Early congratulations on getting off probation.

Witchlinblue

I agree with witchlinblue.... Maybe he needs to reassess his words about "just being friends..." Hang in there! Sounds like he wants you to wait for him and in the meantime no commitment from his end...

Deb

Witchlin said it all...there's not much for me to add:)

Hang in there...and keep us posted!

Hugs,
Marie

"JUST BE FRIENDS" ~ THAT'S WHAT HE WANTS! IF YOU VISIT HIM, YOU CAN VISIT HIM JUST AS A FRIEND, TOO! MAYBE HE WILL THINK DIFFERENTLY THEN BUT YOU HAVE TO DO WHAT YOU WANT FIRST. :)

The ladies have already voiced anything I was thinking.....

I wish the best for you and you know we will be here when you need us!!!

mrs. d

Do you know his reason for deciding the just friend thing ?

Witchlinblue

I don't know if this fits your particular situation, but it could. Recently I questioned Billy, through a letter, on his sincerity in asking me to marry him. I have wondered many times if he would have asked me if he were not incarcerated. He wrote back saying that if he didn't really love me he wouldn't even wanna stay in touch, cuz it makes the days longer and sadder to have close loved ones in limbo on the outside. All the worries and doubts and all that. Maybe this is what Loco is struggling with. He wants to distance himself from the nagging worries of having a woman on the outside--but he also loves you too much to let you go completely. I've even had similar problems in relationships where incarceration isn't even a factor. I do it myself, I try to push the other person away, or put distance between us, out of fear of being hurt myself. Just a thought. Hope this helps! Love and Respect--Helen

By all means put yourself first and be very proud of what you've accomplished and if he loves you his feelings well come along my honey done that tried pushing me away that didn't last long "congradualations" and be proud

the reason for the just friends tip was cause 3 weeks ago i started really questioning our love and i called his FIRST love and talked with her for ove an hour and i couldnt lie to him so i told him and he said i ripped his heart out and that i went behind his back and that he couldnt be with me anymore. Since we have really stayed the same just dont have the label. I mean yeah i shouldnt have called but damn i need to know the real him cause i never really got a chance to know the REAL loco before he went in. So its whatever i made the mistake and am paying for it now.

Loca

If he really loves you, then this will pass....Hang in there. He needs to build up trust in you again it sounds like...

Deb

Everybody needs answers sometimes, Debs right if he loves you it'll pass