I have been married for 13 years. My wife just started a 10 month sentence in a federal camp.It is close to home so visits can be every weekend. My problem is she has always taken great care of me. I am still having a lot of bad days just always thinking about her. I also have a 5 year old to take care of. I feel if I don't think about her as much as I do that I will show I have lost the love that I have for her.I love her more now then anytime in our life. That has a lot to do with finding Christ and living a great life. Am I just a whimp or are these emotional ups and downs normal? Does it ever get easier with time? I know that this time apart is not very long compared to some of you, but to me it seems forever. Thanks for any help.

Tom

yes, the up and downs are normal. I am not sure it gets easier, i think we learn how to deal with it and accpet in time.
Tom, we all feel your pain, and no matter how much time any of us had or has, we all still feel it with our loved one lock up.
Please feel free to vent any time you want, you will find all the support you need here

It will get easier, Tom, count on it. That's so great for you that she's not too far away. Hang in there and stay strong... it will get easier and shoot, by the time you get good and used to it, she'll be on her way home!! Hang in there and lean on PTO anytime, that's what we're here for...

Lys

"Am I just a whimp or are these emotional ups and downs normal? Does it ever get easier with time?"

No, you are not a wimp at all! i have the same feelings at time. i often have these feelings too. however a child does compilcate things some,i guess. i often feel lonely and discourged at times too.I agree with LuLu,you just have to go with the flow and try not to let it get to you. you have to live your life to the fullest while she is gone. but still keep her involved in your life. let her know what you're up to.

"I feel if I don't think about her as much as I do that I will show I have lost the love that I have for her.I love her more now then anytime in our life."
i feel like this at times too, but think about this, you are standing beside her while she is gone, i think that shows that you love her and she knows it. Most men would cut and run but you have stayed, as i have. Us "nice" guys are hard to come by! but just stay the course and don't give up. things will get better. feel free to pm me if you want to talk more.

Hang in there Tom. It's hard especially with children to take care of as well as work and housework....I'm there too! Then the kids go thru stuff as a result...

It gets easier, guess, in that we get more used to it.... I'm doing things I never thought I would and never wanted to do just as I bet you are...(lol--the blisters on my hands right now prove it)

One day this will be over and our spouse will be home--Thank god!

Develop a system of letters, calls, and visits and there's structure to it and the pain lessens.....

Deb

Tom,

Wow, what a devoted husband you are to your wife... That's so special.... You are not a whimp at all... You are a TRUE man who loves his wife unconditionally... A big high five for you!!!!!! It is a very hard situation to deal with... My fiance has been locked up for 2 years now and 3+ more to go... Trust me...... I have my days... There's times that I just want to cry all day... Then there's other days that I'm okay... You'll go through the emotional rollercoaster but in the end it is all worth it.... Keep her informed of the day to day things that goes on with you and your 5 year old... You all are still a family even tho she is physically not with you at this moment... Just remember, those bars can take someone away physically, but can NEVER take away what is in your heart and mind!!! Come here to PTO often.... (It definately comforts me)

Shelly

Thanks for all of the support. At times I feel that what has happened is still a dream. I realize that I am not the only one for this to happen to. At a time like this all my friends and famliy want to help, but this is a first for all of us so they really don't know what to say or do. I guess I am a devoted husband. People make mistakes and that is no reason to give up on them. When you get married, you say for better or worse, this is definitely for worse. Thanks again for your support.

Tom