View Full Version : Am I Doing This Right? Summarizing and more..


nu2this05
10-23-2005, 12:18 PM
HELLO EVERYONE I HAVE AN ASSGNIMENT DUE TODAY AND I'M JUST WONDERING AM I SUMMERIZING,PARAPHRASE,ANDQUOTING CORRECTLY?
There are many states that offer The Re-entry Program. Nebraska, Pennsylvania, New York, Alaska, Washington, Minnesota, and Texas just to name a few.
New York's Re-entry program is called Harlem Accountability and Re-entry Project. (HARP) It focus on parolees it can only help a certain amount of inmates. Males and females will be separated. There are a team of different people assigned to an inmate. “ Participants will be required to remain in the program for at least 1 year, during which time they will receive comprehensive services and be closely monitored for compliance with their court orders.” Upon completion of the HARP the inmate will be rewarded for their achievements. I'M TAKING IT FROM-
New York Department of Correctional Services (Amount: $999,183*)
The New York State Department of Correctional Services will work with the Division of Criminal Justice Services, the State Division of Parole, the State Office of Mental Health, the New York City Mayor’s Office, and the Center for Court Innovation to establish the Harlem Accountability and Reentry Project (HARP). HARP will provide reintegration services and enhance supervision to high-risk parolees ages 17–35 released from Department of Correctional Services’ facilities who were either convicted of a violent felony offense or are repeat felons. The HARP project will serve 100–150 parolees annually who reside within the 23rd, 25th, 28th, and 32nd precincts of Manhattan. Approximately 60 days prior to release, eligible male inmates will be transferred to Sing Sing Correctional Facility, while female inmates will be transferred to a comparable downstate location convenient to Harlem. Prior to release from custody, HARP case managers, in partnership with the assigned parole team, will assess program participants and develop individualized reentry plans. On the day of release, HARP participants will appear before the Harlem Reentry Court to formally adopt the reentry plans. Participants will be required to remain in the program for at least 1 year, during which time they will receive comprehensive services and be closely monitored for compliance with their court orders. An array of sanctions and incentives will be used to respond to participants’ infractions and achievements.

nimuay
10-23-2005, 06:13 PM
Nu, your paraphrasing and quoting are all right.
Your problems lie elsewhere - In your first sentence it would be "re-etry programs" (because they are not all the same or under the same title, and because you only capitalize proper nouns). Your second sentence isn't really one because it has no verb - Try something more like "Nebraska, Pennsylvania.....are just some of the states". Then you need to separate the mention of states from the fact that your cited program is for New York City, not the state - something like "even larger cities have their own programs".

No capitalization on the re-entry in the next sentence, and if you want to paraphrase, try calling it an assistance program or something like that, so you don't use the word too often.

Then you've got 4 really short sentences that could be combined more gracefully - Something more like - "It focuses on high-risk parolees, but there is a limited number of spaces in the program." When you say something about the team, remember that a team is a single unit, so you would use "is" instead of "are", and it might be nice to add what some of the specialties of the team members are. (Same thing about the "amount of inmates" - you would say an amount of sand, but a "number" of inmates.)

That's all for now . . . good start! If there's something you don't understand about what I've written, just PM me.

nu2this05
10-24-2005, 11:11 PM
Thank-you

MrsBenji
10-25-2005, 11:38 AM
Great points Nim!! :)

Jenn