I have a 18 year old grandson who is in prison .He is a very troubled young man .
My son his father was a drug addict and had a mother who has always put her boy friends before her kids .So my grandson spent most of his time in foster homes with his brother .Every time my son would clean his life up and would get the boys back he would stay clean for a while and then he would go back into drugs again and the boys would end back up in the foster homes again .This happen all through there lives .Now my grandson is very angry boy.Who got in with the wrong crowd and just kept getting into trouble over and over .So now he is in prison and it's hard on the whole family .I,m worried about my other grandson as well because he seems to be following the same path has my oldest grandson.Thanks for listening .

Welcome angel, Im sorry to hear about your grandson.I wish I couldnt related but I can and it's fortunate my husband is very much like your grandson.He grew up without his mother (she dies when he was young) and his father somewhat neglected him which caused him to look for a new family. (a gang)He is very strong and intelegent however he let the lifestyle suck him in.A child needs its family, it needs that love and support and when a child doesnt get it, it starts to look else where.Weather it be a drug, or through friends.Nature says that its in our instinct to sooth our pain, its a part of self protecting.It sounds to me like your grandson may be doing so his friends.Perhaps he's looking for love within his friends.My hubby ended up being raised by his aunts while all of his brothers and sisters ended up with there dad (his dad) and his wife.You say your grandson was in and out of foster homes????That in itself can make a person feel unwanted.He probably feels like "why wasent I good enough for my dad to just stip using?"I dont have the answer to your problem here but I think looking in that direction is a start.Repressed hurt always seems to turn to anger.Perhaps once your grandsons realize and start looking into that they can heal and feel better about there life and there situation.Do they have male figures in there lifes?Are they in the position to get some sort of couseling?Sometimes it helps to simply have someone to talk to.I will keep you in my prayers and I hope things get better for you.If you want to chat Im pm away

I,m sorry that because of your husband you can relate to my grandson.He like your husband joined a gang .I think he did that because he was treated so bad by adults when he was just a child and had no power over what happened to him .I think he felt by being in this gang that he was taking back some of his power .
His mother like I said chose her boys friends over her children .This child was locked in the closet by one of his mothers boy friend .His mother kept the boys from seeing me ,because she knew they would tell me what was going on .I called d.c.y.s. many times and told them that I was sure something was going on with the kids ,but they never even went and checked on them .Finally there sister ( not my grand daughter ) told someone in school that she was being molested and the state finally took them away and put them in a foster home .They would,t let me take them because I still had children at home and I did,t have the room for them .I was going to sleep on the couch and give the boys my room ,but they wouldn't let me .

I feel that not only there parents failed them but so did society.

I had the boys last year for awhile and you couldn,t ask for better kids but they wanted to go and live with there father .My son has been clean for 2 years now .I was hoping that finally he could take his children and give them the life that they deserve .The boys were with him for a while and they started getting in trouble and he couldn't handle them .
So now the 18 year old is in jail and the 16 year old his another foster home .

Welcome to PTO and the Extended Family forum.

Awww, thats so sad.Society tends to forget that "it takes a village to raise a child."Everyone needs to be looking out for everyone.Im sorry that has happened to your grandsons.I think whats hardest for them though may be that the people that should have been looking out for them just did not or could not.Im not speaking of you but of their mother and there father.Additction is an illness which can take form in many different ways.Perhaps your sons addictions were drugs while the mothers addictions were her relationships?Some people will do just about anything to feel good even at the price of letting harm come to loved ones.I think most important is to show those boys all the love that you can.Let them know its not there fault and dont give up hope.18 and in jail huh?He's young he can still change his life for the better.No need to appoligize about my relating to your grandson becuase of my husband.I think in a way its a blessing.I have always thought that everything happens for a reason although its not always aparent at the time.If my hubbys trials and tribulations can help someone else then all is not in vain. I will keep the men in your life in my prayers.Keep hope, there is always some kind of good coming out of even the worst of situations.Your grandsons have had a hard life and through struggles we become strong and strong minded individuals.If they can just get to a point where they see the past and try to rise up above it to a better life they will have not only expierence but the strength to overcome anything.Your a good woment to go the distance of trying to raise these boys even though your were unable to physically.Sometimes the mental/emotional support is what counts more.You really are a blessing to those boys. nikki

I have a 18 year old grandson who is in prison .He is a very troubled young man .
My son his father was a drug addict and had a mother who has always put her boy friends before her kids .So my grandson spent most of his time in foster homes with his brother .Every time my son would clean his life up and would get the boys back he would stay clean for a while and then he would go back into drugs again and the boys would end back up in the foster homes again .This happen all through there lives .Now my grandson is very angry boy.Who got in with the wrong crowd and just kept getting into trouble over and over .So now he is in prison and it's hard on the whole family .I,m worried about my other grandson as well because he seems to be following the same path has my oldest grandson.Thanks for listening .
Hi Angel Welcome To PTO.Sorry to hear about your grandsons.Just know that we are always here for you

Angelwoman1947, welcome to PTO. I am sorry about your grandson, it is an all to common story. I hope he manages to get some help. I know how worried you must be about your other grandson, but sometimes there is nothing we can do. Good luck to you all. You will be in my prayers.