I'm Looking For Advice Because Have A Lover/bestfriend In Jail I Know Him 13 Years . I Do Not Know What To Write Him . He Has Plea In His Hands Right Know But The Way That The Plea Is Set He Has To Admit To A Crime That He Didn't Do . The Thing That Is Over His Head Is He Was On Fed Probation And They Violated Him Because Of The New Charges .he Could Face Up To 7 To Life In Fed
Prison If Takes A Plea Or Found Guilty. I Don't Know What I Should Say Or Write.

Hi offley and Welcome to PTO!

I am going to be honest with you. I understand you question and I asked myself that same question many times in connection with my niece.

He seems to be really caught between a rock and a hard place on this one. Honestly, I wish I could give you good advice on this, but in reality I don't know what to say.

You and your loved one are in our prayers.

Patti

I Wanted To Say Thank You For The Reply.see I Have Question For You Do You Think Me Writing Him Make's It Worse On Him.i'm Not Sure If I'm Helping Or Not. Because Sometimes He Is Just Nasty And Rude .he Dose Say Sorry But I'm Not Sure In How I'm Sapose To React Or Just Let It Go.i'm Not Use To Him Venting On Me.god Bless And Thank You'offley

Well from personal experience I can't give you an answer for him. But, I can give you an answer for me and my partner.

When I was inside letters from home were both a blessing and a curse.

When I got a letter from my parents, my partner Linda or my children it was wonderful to know that I was still part of their lives and that I had not been forgotten.

Then again, when they would talk about what was going on in their lives it made it really, really hard. My daughters first dance, when she learned to drive. How things were going with my family and parents. I missed so, so much.

Yes, I got nasty to Linda at times, but we were comfortable enough in our relationship that she would tell me to chill out and if I did not she would write this wonderful letter about how much she loved me and was in this for the duration, but she would not be spoken too in a nasty manner. I apologized and tried to remember that it was me who got myself in the situation in the first place and that not only I but my loved ones were suffering because of me.

What would I do in your situation, hmmm, I would keep writing, tell him you are not used to his venting, but also remember that he is in a very stressful situation right now. There is going to be some venting.

If he gets abusive that is a different story, you do not and should not have to put up with that. Then cut it off.

I can personally tell you how much support from family and friends means to an inmate. It mean everything! But both sides have to respect each other.

Do not judge the courts do a good enough job of that, just be a best friend for now. That is so, so important.

Patti

Thank You Once Again. I Try To Be As Saportive As I Can . But Sometimes It Is Hard Because I'm Not Sure In What To Write Him Because He Under Alot Stress. He Right Know Think's Evryone Is Out To Do Him Wrong And I Try To Let Him Know I'am There For Him.it Is Upseting To Me To See Him Suffer And There Is Nothing I Can Do About It. I Can Handle Some Venting
Because Of The Situation But He Knows Better Then To Write Leters And Saying He Will Hurt Me Because Then Like You Wrote I Would Cut It Off All Together .the Thing I Worry About Is Because He Say's He Wants To Give Up And Make Everyone Happy . Me I Get Concerd Because He Is Under A Huge Amount Of Stress And Before He Ran To Drug's And Acted Stupid And Know It Is Right In His Face And He Has To Deal With It .i Just Worry About Hiom. And Iam Trying To Be There. Thankyou Once Again ' God Bless
Offley''

I first off wanna say that I am sorry you are going through all of this. My fiance is in Mt.Pleasant for 23 more months and he has been locked up for 4 1/2 years already. He got sentenced for 10 years and he is missing so much already. My advice for you is get yourself a good attourney and fight it all. Don't give up you will succeed. The worst thing you both could do is give up. I wish the both of you the best of luck! take care!

It is hard at times trying to figure out what exactly to write in your letters without making them or yourself feel bad because there not here. Yes, there are going to be times when he's letters will be harsh and mean but you just have to realize that they are frustrated in their present situation. Just let him know in your letter that you understand and that your still there for him. As far has his legal situation its kinda of tough, my boyfriend was offered a plea of a 1 1/2 but when it went to trial and he was found guily he was still given the same amount of time with the chance to go to bootcamp. Just pray about the matter.:o

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frisco Lady I Got Alot Out Of Your Response And I Appreciate That Im With You On The Advice You Gave Her I Could Not Of Said It Any Better Be There For Him But Dont Be His Ounching Bag So To Speak Were All Stressed Out And In Any Relationship Whether In Or Out There Are Gonna Be Some Rough Times Its How We Deal With Them That Counts As Far As What To Say When Writing Him Say What Your Heart Feels If You Dont Have Any Answers For Him Tell Him That Be Honest On How You Feel Also I Wish You All The Best And God Bless You Both

I usually send my man a card when I don't know exactly what to say. They have beautiful inspiration cards that say just the right things.

I am so sorry to hear that Offley but personally...

You've known him for 13 yrs. and as a best friend anything you say will be better than nothing...
I would tell him to hold on and be strong cause it seems either way he's in a bad way and the truth is (its a set up) if I was you I would find out anything I could to help him legally and if I couldn't be of help legally I'd be the best damn friend I knew how to be.
Letters, books, magazines, poems, pictures, drawings, cards and money orders and anything else he could recieve and you could get your hands on.

I know this time is a hard one and I wish you all the best!

Tell him to keep his head up~ Tupac.