Here's the deal, my boyfriend has been incarcerated for 14 months and we have been in touch the entire time by mail only because although I have been approved I am unable as of yet to make arrangements to do that long road trip. This is not the first time that I have been with him through this (3rd actually) but for reason unbeknownst to me he is acting totally out of character than those other terms and his letters are so far and few between it is driving me crazy! I could spend hours on this Web site looking for something that is not there or I can ask point blank ...like I have...and here is why: I spoke with his parents becauise we are close and his father has mentioned to me and not by accident that John has been requesting of his mother to send so many stamps and envelopes. He just got his quarterly package with them enclosed and 2 weeks ago she sent him 12 stamped envelopes and now two days ago she sent 7 more and I am lucky now to get a letter in two months and he writes 2 other friends that I know of. Regardless I feel as though he has moved on with this person he is writing to and just isn't telling me and I feel that I am sitting out here with my life on hold waiting for him again and if he has moved on he could at least say this to me. When I ask him he denies but even his father says that he has a hard time telling the truth. So I am asking this woman to woman, if you are that girl and want to talk ...please do!

Hello Fern's, NO I AM NOT THAT WOMAN. I just wanted to say "Bravo" for you coming out and asking..but, what if "that woman" doesn't go to PTO and you never get a reply? Or, she see's your post and still doesnt reply. My point I guess is...Get on with your life. You sound like a young , intelligent woman. You and every woman out there deserve to be loved and treated with respect. Don't settle for less. Wishing you well.....Kim

dont be so paranoid.....stamps is money in there!



(although two months and only one letter is BS!!!!!!!!)

I am sorry that you are going thru this but i do believe that you need to move on if there is no trust there then y stay with him? how do you know she would be on here? This is a website for support and not a place for you to be trying to call someone out. If its making you paranoid you need to step back and take a breath and ask yourself is it worth it?

It sounds to me as though you need to address your concerns to your man. Maybe hes trading them for food ect, ect.

Het 88 reasons...I am aware that "stamps is money in there", did I mention that this was the third time that I have been through this! So unless he has this sudden urge to do the "Hustle" with stamps when he just received a fully loaded quarterly package and always has $$ on his books...no need to edit your opinion about "don't be so Paranoid!" Haven't you ever felt something in your gut that is just too strong to ignore! Besides.....who is anybody to judge anyone anyways? Alot less of that this world would be a better place!! Have a great day!

As for the moving on response...Here is how I see it..This appoach isn't working so try a different one...moving on would be my next choice! I have alot of time and all of my heart invested with him..I couldn't move on without several approaches!! You don't just move on after 7 years of loving someone!! Well I don't anyways...also..I am no spring chicken! If I am so smart then explain why all the wrong choices in my life!! Thanks for your input! Yeah this took alot to put myself out there and vulnerable to all, what have I got to lose? Feels like I'm already losing him! What IF (big "if") there is a "penpal" and this person was unaware of a significant other (fiance) and he was being a lying dog to us both?? Nothing like being in charge of what direction ones life takes when they know the truth!! Besides It all comes out in the wash! IF there is a "THEY" and "They" are not righteous enough to handle this womam to woman ...it's not my Kharma!! If on the up and up then out with it!?

Funny..I thought I was seeking support but what you offer is advice about something you know nothing about because you are happily married! Imagine loving your husband for seven years and then he stops communicating..or slows way down..and someone told you to just deal with it and move on! This wouldn't be about "Who or Why" if the common decency was present by letting me know himself that he has moved on!! I only hope you remember this if you ever experience the same! I hope not because it is the worst pain in the world and I wouldn't wish it on an enemy or a judgemental married person!! I am sorry that you are going thru this but i do believe that you need to move on if there is no trust there then y stay with him? how do you know she would be on here? This is a website for support and not a place for you to be trying to call someone out. If its making you paranoid you need to step back and take a breath and ask yourself is it worth it?

Fern,

I am sorry you are feeling like people are coming down on you. Or suggesting you leave your man. Re read your OWN letter. It starts with you ACCUSING him of something you have said you had o proof of. You came here for advice right? These people are just giving their opinion, some things you will use some things you will save for later or not use at all. Please stay focused on you inital point and don't get upset with these ladies/men. And focus on figuring out how to approach John and find out what is going on. No one can shed light on this but him. And like you said after 7 years....the least you own him is a chance to tell you what is going on, and NOT assume there is someone else. And I know you said the other times were different, but you never know what is going on in there.

I am saying all this because Kris ALWAYS has money on the books...and ALWAYS needs these ENVELOPES LOL so I know were the question mark lies. But I think you should ask him FIRST. THEN go from there. But asking to confront someone HERE...not the place for that.

Jasmine

Please get back on the topic, she only wants to know if someone is writing to John.
BSS

Thank you for coming to my defense! Also an update on my situation without a lengthy explanation ...i've put my business out there already more than I should have probably! One of my info packed letters to him from a month ago, came back to me today along with a letter from him with stamps...something about no more than 5 internet related prnted pages per letter so I need to break it down and resend. Explains the stamps! Also......the other girl did come forward...he was insecure so had written to my good friend to see if I was ok!! But I appreciate all of the advice and input that I received from you all ...even if I did not agree with it wholeheartedly...I asked for it, right?! Thanks everyone! Its all good!!Please get back on the topic, she only wants to know if someone is writing to John.
BSS

I wanted to apologize if I got off the subject, I didn't mean to. Sorry. I really am. And am glad that some light was shed on things. I think we all get a little off track sometimes and our minds take off without us.

Take care Jasmine :)

Apology accepted Jasmine! I guess I did get a little crazy with my thinking but damn this is hard!! He just called and I melted...it was sooo good to hear his voice! I can only imagine what it will be like to visit him...yikes!! Bye!I wanted to apologize if I got off the subject, I didn't mean to. Sorry. I really am. And am glad that some light was shed on things. I think we all get a little off track sometimes and our minds take off without us.

Take care Jasmine :)

geewhiz, fern!

Since the original question has been answered, can we now delete this thread?

This thread is being closed as it has run it's course