hi my o/h is classed as a violent offender and he is due out dec05,(we cant wait)the problem is social services say he poses a risk to my kids and they are ummin and ahhring about letting him come back home to live with us,my kids have a wonderful relationship with him already and do not feel threatend/frightened by him and neither do i,he has completed anger management succesfully so whats the problem???? any advice xxxxx

You'll probably need documentation from professionals (social workers, school counselors, clergy) who will say that in their opinion, the children are safe with him. If you have anyone who knew what he was like with the kids before he went to prison, then ask them to write you a letter of support.

thats a great idea mrsdragon,thankyou,the children have been interveiwed by social workers and school reports havnt changed from him being with us to him being inside so,it is so damn frustrating.....

I can only imagine how difficult it must be for you. I do not know his age or the circumstances of his incarceration and I do not need to know, however, if he has siblings how did he act around them? Perhaps nieces and nephews, cousins? Maybe those parents could also write letters in support of him.

Was he in any programs such as Boy Scouts or whatever else is out there now a days? Perhaps they could also write letters of support.

Just some ideas, also don't forget letters from any schools he attended or perhaps school counselors.

All of my best to you.

I think that stuff like that is crazy. People just see VO on their list of "credintials" and like freak out. Jamie has a charge that was classified as violent, but that's not who he is. He's not a violent person, but people see that and assume things. It drives me batty!

my baby is only 18 and commited his violent offence when he was 15,he has a sister he has lived with all his life and lived with grandparents the majority too,he has had a anger problem but nothing was ever done on the out,but since he has been inside he has done every anger management class 20/52meetings(relaxation classes)you name it and the prison say he has made a total turn around with himself and his anger,he understands anger,why peple get angry/frustrated and most of all why he gets angry and what to do about it,so the prison are like singing his praises all over,my children are not his children and he loves them dearly and they all have a great relationship with each other arghhhhhh..... i could scream :(

maybe he can get letters from the counselors in thre saying tht he did the classes and they see progress in his attiude and his temper.. i hope that you can get him home with yll

e-wife thankyou for your kind words,im hjoping the assesment they do will help to bring him home real quick xx your little one is sooo cute.xx

Best of luck to you and please let us know how it turns out!

hugs!

penwife

ive just spent 45 mins on the phone with his y.o.t worker who tells me its up to the s.s to do the assesment on him and basically its up to them to decide when he can come home,how can they see how we are if we are not together as a family??instead they would rather put 3 children into care at the cost of nearly ten thousand pound a week instesd of putting the time and effort into monitoring us closely as a family,why do i bother???? i am so fed up with banging my head against a brick wall :(

:banghead: :banghead:

i feel so down today,nothing seems to be happening,nothing seems to be moving forward and i am not happy...

ive just spent 45 mins on the phone with his y.o.t worker who tells me its up to the s.s to do the assesment on him and basically its up to them to decide when he can come home,how can they see how we are if we are not together as a family??instead they would rather put 3 children into care at the cost of nearly ten thousand pound a week instesd of putting the time and effort into monitoring us closely as a family,why do i bother???? i am so fed up with banging my head against a brick wall :(

I know only too well how frustrating it is to have to deal with social services. Are the kids on the 'At Risk' register? If they are, maybe you could get a copy of his completion report from his'Anger Management' course. My children were taken from me and placed on the At Risk Register under 'neglect'... they didnt feel that i could set boundries with them. I had to take a 'Behaviour Management' course, and after showing them the report they took them off of the register.
If that doesnt work, i suggest that you get a solicitor to deal with it! If you arent working or are on a low income, you can get Legal Aid.

PM me if you ever wanna chat.
Tracey x

hi tracey i have just pm'd you xx

The state is always trying to get into peoples' business. Many things would be fine if they just butted out. Things will look up for you. Here's a hug to help, if at least for a minute. :grouphug:

The state is always trying to get into peoples' business. Many things would be fine if they just butted out. Things will look up for you. Here's a hug to help, if at least for a minute. :grouphug:

Over here in the UK, they medel in the lives of family's who really dont have that many issues in comparison to the extreme cases. The extreme case they let go due to fear and thats when fatalities occur! :mad: A sad and frustrating system!! :angry:

It's me,
I sure hope that you get this all worked out and the kids maintain their strong relationship with him. He might have to prove himself when he gets out, but they can't keep you apart if you just follow what they want you to do. It sucks you have to jump through their hopes, but you can do it. Stay strong!

thankyou binwaitin for your kind words,i live in hope :) xxxxxxxx

thankyou bin waitin,its amazin what kind words and a hug can do xxx :)

big thanks to everyone xx :hugs:

hope everything turns out ok