Hi Everybody,am New To Pto! And I Am In A Interracial Relationship W/my Daddy! Am White And He Is Black. He's A Calipatria State Prison. I Just Want To Know If Any One Else Has Problems W/c.o. Lookin' At U Crazy Because You Are Of Different Race Than Your Man?

Hi and welcome to PTO. I was in an IR relationship before and the CO's as well as the other visitors had problems with it.

Welcome to PTO. I am white and my man is black and we have not had problems with COs or other visitors at visitation. He has had problems with bad treamtment by other prisoners and some COs because of his race.

I have not had that experience here in Ga

OH and welcome! glad you are here

Welcome to PTO!

Welcome to PTO

Welcome to PTO. You just have to overlook the narrow minded people. One of my favorite sayings is: It's a shame when narrow minded people open their mouths.


Patti

Hi there and welcome to PTO. You're sure to find lots of love and support here. Although i haven't people condem us for any racial differences, i definately know what its like to be disciminated against. Before he went in, we couldn't go anywhere without being hassled. Just because he looked like a gangster, just because he was tatted down, just because he'd already been to prison. But, you know some people are just stupid!

welcome to pto .. i do have to say that i havent had any problems with anyone looking at us crazy. i am west indian and he is white.

Haven't experienced that but just wanted to welcome you to PTO!!. Ignore the narrwowed mind.

:grouphug: I had my 1st visit this weekend and I had a few stares but I look at It like they wonder mabye they want what I got and their to scared to try it you know worried about what others may think but whats mariah carey say "shake it off" cause your man loves you weather there look crazy or not............oh yeah Im white and he's black

I am from New York and i have NOT had that problem because mixed couples is very common here. they may look at you funny if you are of the same race LOL

I agree with walton -- in NY the general consensus that I've observed concerning IRR and the prison system is everyone acts like sisters and brothers -- it's all love. We befriend each other in our travels and at the hospitality center, and nobody hates on nobody.

I'm sorry you felt people were staring at you.

My husband is black and I am white. We haven't had too many problems with co's during visit. However, there's a new co working visitation right now. He's an older white dude and I don't think he's too happy with us. He kept on staring at us today like he couldn't believe what he was seeing. Oh well. He'll get over it.

Candy

Just wanted to welcome you. You will find all kinds of support and info here.

All of my best to you and yours.

I have had one experience with a female C.O. who I assume didnt appreciate the fact that my man was black and I was white. Thank God she didnt stay working in our visiting room for very long.

OLDER CAUCASION WOMEN ARE I BELIEVE THE WORST AT STARING LIKE 70 / 80..AND I BELIEVE IT IS DUE TO FACT THAT IN THEIR YOUNGER DAYS THEY WISH THEY HAD THE OPPORTUNITY TO "STEP INTO THE JUNGLE BOOK" ...TO SEE FOR THEMSELVES IF THE MYTHS ARE TRUE ...I.E ARE THEY BIGGER , BETTER ETC ..LMAFO SO STAND UP AND TELL YOUR GRANDMA YES THEY ARE BIGGER AND YES THEY ARE BETTER :p

Well we have a double wammy..we are a gay couple.I am white male 42 years old and he is black male 20 years old...So yes recently at his unit Telford here in texas we have had several stares..gues what..I could care less..LOL

Well we have a double wammy..we are a gay couple.I am white male 42 years old and he is black male 20 years old...So yes recently at his unit Telford here in texas we have had several stares..gues what..I could care less..LOL

*big grin* Oh my God, that's like a triple whammy. I'm not in an interacial relationship, nor a gay relationship, but my husband is 22 yrs older than I am. He's 57, and I'm 35. He looks his age, and I look my age.

He mentioned not long ago that now he knew what it might feel like to be in an interacial relationship because of the looks. : ) Its ok with me, because I understand that people will automatically look at anyone who looks different. It just catches their eye, most don't mean anything by it.

I don't really think about our age difference, and I don't think he does either. Until we catch someone looking, or if someone asks if he's my father, then we remember. : )

Actually, I kind of like it sometimes. I also enjoy publicly mingling with people of other races, knowing it causes people to wonder. I think its good for 'em. : )

I BELIEVE IT IS DUE TO FACT ...LMAFO
I agree with the LMAFO part because you sound very funny to me. :haha: I do believe, however, if you were to take a personal and actual survey of all of the men's private parts in this country, the results WOULD SHOCK YOU. I could see it now -- you saying to yourself "well gosh dernit, it IS a myth! I'm mystified!!" :haha:

lawde have mercy and i thought it was purely based on shoe size and not race !! yanno the bigger better thingee !! lol

i been gettin stares all my life , who cares , when the day is done , i rest easy !!

OLDER CAUCASION WOMEN ARE I BELIEVE THE WORST AT STARING LIKE 70 / 80..AND I BELIEVE IT IS DUE TO FACT THAT IN THEIR YOUNGER DAYS THEY WISH THEY HAD THE OPPORTUNITY TO "STEP INTO THE JUNGLE BOOK" ...TO SEE FOR THEMSELVES IF THE MYTHS ARE TRUE ...I.E ARE THEY BIGGER , BETTER ETC ..LMAFO SO STAND UP AND TELL YOUR GRANDMA YES THEY ARE BIGGER AND YES THEY ARE BETTER :p

i don't know about that now...my hubby has dispelled the myth, and believe me...i was mystified lmao.

lawde have mercy and i thought it was purely based on shoe size and not race !! yanno the bigger better thingee !! lol
That makes me laugh hysterically, but because of the thought that I have that goes with what you said. Had you met my first husband, who is black wearing a size 13 shoe when I met him and a 14 when I left him, you'd of thrown him back into the sea, AND QUICKLY!! :haha::haha::haha: And that's not the worst part -- the worst part is that he wanted (so we did) to have sex every day, 3 times a day!!! :haha::haha::haha: All of that activity over the years did make it grow because when I left him, he was kinda decent. Pitiful when I met him, but kinda decent when I left. :haha::haha::haha:

lawde have mercy is right because steviesgirl look what you don started!! :haha:

My man is Mexican and I'm Asian/White so when we see people staring we laugh and he will say something like they are staring coz I'm so beautiful and I will say nooo baby they staring coz YOU are HOT. We don't pay attention coz they could be staring for any reason we don't know plus they are just wasting their visit time. Plus they stare at us a lot coz I bring my 20 month old baby and he is the cutest. I can hear people talk about how cute the baby is and stuff and they even remember him even though we don't visit often.

My babyboy is in Memphis and I am from Rhode Island, when I visited him last October I received alot of stares. There is no other IRR there, I don't know why, but we were the only white/black couple. The other vistors had no problem with it, but the C/O's especially that females were not that nice towards me. They actually made us move a few times during the visit because we were to close to each other. In Rhode Island, there are no problems, he is from North Carolina and he's serving time in Memphis, he said he thinks it's just Memphis's problem.

I haven't had any problems with people staring during visits. We are so into each other until nobody else exsist in that visiting room but us. In regards to the CO's, they do stare because they are monitoring to make sure that you aren't getting to cozy with one another or trying to give something to the inmate. Other than that, no problems.

I used to have a black female c/o pick at me and my husband in the visiting room and she got sick and can't work anymore. Message from God?...

I got looks sometimes but I wrote it off to the fact that my man is very thugged out and I am prim and proper!!! He used to tell me that its because we are a beautiful couple!

erm.....apparently it's NOT shoe size that counts - it the size of their NOSE - the nose and the ' other important bit' develop at the same time in the womb ! SO gals - AVOID any man with a small dainty nose !! ;)

Then damn KateUK, KRS-1 must be hung like I can't even imagine because he's got more nose than face!! But I've never heard of the nose thing. :D

. . . He used to tell me that its because we are a beautiful couple!
I agree with your man; that's why I would look.

Sadly, because of the large number of paranoid women in IRRs though, they'd assume and accuse to their man "there's another black girl staring at us -- she's such a hater!!:angry:." Meanwhile, the FACT is I'd be at my table tellin my husband how nice I think they look together.

:D i love the 'more nose than face ' thing :D :D :D

Look for yourself!! LOL

Try being a gay intteracial couple.We get the stares all the time.And you know what?I could care less!!

i have to look at his nose the next time i visit...

Oh my my my my-y-y-y :haha: !

Wow, what do I respond to first???

First, yea, my husband and I definately get stares. We laugh about it, and at times we acknowledge how sad it can be. Ingorance is the reason. Whether it just be that some are not used to being around interracial, or some from history experience taught them not to agree or whateva the case may be, all we can do is pray that some day they'll be blind to any racial differences and see others for whom they are instead.

Kevin and I are also so into each other that we may not notice everything that's goin on around us, yet on the otherhand when certain things are obvious like (they are dead IN OUR FACES) then we just keep on smilin. Sometimes bein smart I'll kiss him on his bald head or sumtin to accentuate our 'outward love'. It's funny too, cause we're both in our 30's, although we both look younger (especially me bein at 4'10"), we play a lot normally/privately so that 'puppy love', is evident anyways.

It's unfortunate we have a few 'haters', men and female alike, different races alike, we just ignore the bull or make sure we are each keeping account of what goes on, cause you know if they can they'll terminate a visit with a quickness. We've encountered a termination (that was not warranted to 'excessive physical contact' as they put it) that with my husband's wisdom got him out of the maximum discipline. Of course they tried, thinkin they could get him to admit something we didn't do by telling him we were on tape, yet because he knew nothing was goin on he asked to see the tape to explain to him what we weren't allowed to do. Isn't it funny how they backed down from that one.

Don't be blind, some C.O.'s live on their 'power of authority' shtuff, so they try things they woudn't dare do or say on the streets. I'm not sayin all are up to somethin'. I'm just sayin', don't be blind. I hope that some institutions don't tolerate it, unfortunately I haven't witnessed anything to prove otherwise. From experience also, we need to stand up to blatant discrimination, no matter if racial, gender, sexual orientation, whatever, make written formal complaints to staff of the prison AND any administration.(Keep copies for yourself-and each and everytime it
s obvious-file a complaint.) It's not the point of receiving a pleasant response, (I'd like to see that if it were possible), it's the point of letting them know what we believe in and knowing what they do is wrong, unacceptable.

As far as the physical feature 'tell it all' s, ya never heard about hands? Fingers long and thick, or short and skinny, whateva the combo, that one's quite interesting.... but I'll neva tell.

Our STRENGTH and FOUNDATION in GOD, is their enemy. Pray our enemies will SEE the LIGHT and RECEIVE HIS Love...

Welcome to PTO. You just have to overlook the narrow minded people. One of my favorite sayings is: It's a shame when narrow minded people open their mouths. Patti
I do agree with this, but my situation is different.

My husband wants me to add color to my hair and I told him I like a platinum blonde light pink but because my natural color is dark brown, I could never get that. I told him what I'd probably get is "yellow blonde", which I would hate on me. I told him when your hair is really light, you'll get a better result but when you start dark to go that light, you get that yellow look. We both then started looking around signaling out shades of blonde and it just so happen that the 3 or 4 heads that we discussed were in interracial relationships.

This morning after I got on PTO my first thought was I sure hope me and my husband (black/black) were not labelled and boxed in the "narrow minded/ignorant/stupid/hater people " box. That thought bothered me and to be honest, it still does because we both love people and do not care who they are with. We were innocently talking about shades of blonde/hair color.

What it seems is because there's a whole lot more to this "looking/staring/talking about us" thing because everyone who seemingly looks/stares is not a hater, I don't think narrow should be put on this. I think only broad should be put on this. Based on what I've learned from the IRR forum on PTO, if those couples were representative of broad minded people they may not have even noticed us or considered we were "looking/staring/talking about them". But, that if they were representative of the narrow minded then yeah, it's possible me and my husband got [mis]labled and wrongly boxed.

{PattiD1157, I don't mean this against you personally because I never say anything against what the mods say for you girls have the veto power. I am saying this against the narrow minded concept because people will buy that and then believe people who look/stare at them are narrow minded when every look/stare is not even a look/stare.}

What a wonderful way to look at it! Thanks for a positive spin on an old insecuity for so many IRR's.
I got looks sometimes but I wrote it off to the fact that my man is very thugged out and I am prim and proper!!! He used to tell me that its because we are a beautiful couple!