My boyfriend is set to be released from the William Dickerson Facility September 19th, but he said that he'd have to check into some drug rehab center or something, it's called GATEWAY PROBATION DETENTION CENTER. He didn't mention whether or not he had to stay there inpatient or it was just signing up for N/A meetings. The way he was talking was as if he was coming home, but just had to check in. Because, that following Tuesday he is going to have to go to probation.

I was wondering all of what could be going on. I mean, he is in a drug program right now at dickerson and it will be completed on the 15th, and he'll get out the 19th, so why would they put him into another drug program.

I really hope that I'm not freaking out about nothing and it's just for the N/A meetings, but if anyone can help, please do.

Their reasoning for another program would probably be that he has been clean for however long but in all honestly a person doesn't have any clean time if they've been behind bars having clean time out on the street is what is most important. So when he gets home its a way to help him from living the same lifestyle as before and end up right back where he just came from. I have heard my husband say oh he is fine he's clean but just can't realize its not the same as being out on the street and being clean. Its much harder, trust me!
So if he has to enroll in something make the best of it!!! Don't let him just blow it off like my husband did because his P.O. kicked him out of the program and revoked him which sent him right back to prison.

I hope I helped in some kind of way.
Good Luck!!!!

I work daily with inmates being court ordered to do drug programs immediatley after release as part of their release. Just becouse someone does a 6 month or 12 month program, or even been clean in jail or prison. The Judge feels and its a proven fact if recovery does not continue beyond whats ordered the inmate will eventually find them selves in jail or prison again. That is why it is now called a desease it needs ongoing treatment for life or it does not just go away. I tell the men I work with you either have to commit to the program completley or I can promise I'll see you again. The sad thing is most of them really want to get off drugs and think they can do it on their own but reality is 99% need help from a program of some type. If you want your man to stay out of jail or prison support his recovery beyond the prison walls. I wish I would of now my man is doing 11-15 years. For something I help other inmates deal with. Wish I knew then what I know now.

Thanks both of you. I'm just left wondering if he only is going to be signing up for N/A meetings, or having to enroll in another in patient program. He has my full support, but I have been without him so long that it is wearing on me. I want him to come home, and I want to help him with the problem. The only drug he's guilty of using is marijuana, as am I. Me and him both promised to eachother to quit for one another. We're to be getting our own place by the end of the year.

I just don't want anymore time stolen away from me. So I am hoping that it is just signing up for meetings not some inpatient program where he'll be taken away from me once again. Couldn't handle any more.

Getting clean for someone else also has about a 99% failure rate. He has to do this for himself. Many times if drugs were involved in the crime they were sentenced for, whether it was a posession charge, theft because of drugs, or a crime committed under the influence, as part of their parole/probation they usually have to have some kind of recovery program in place when they are released. If they are sending him to inpatient at the states expense, he will be one of the very fortunate ones. This is something to be so, so, thankful for - not a negative. Yes, you miss him and want to be with him, but wouldn't you rather that he has some tools to help prevent relapse so he doesn't end right back up on lock? Have patience, my dear.

Plus alot of men think that since they have done their time and paid the consequence for their actions will keep them clean out of sheer wanting to. It takes more than just the desire. I mean the desire comes first, but to maintain recovery one needs to be involved in some sort of program pertaining to alcohol and or drugs. that's where I see the most success. It's also easy to maintain recovery in "controlled" invironments be it, a residential recovery program and or even prison. The true test comes when one is out in the real world. Good luck to him and to you and welcome to this forum.

Sunnie
PTO~Moderator

You are all angels, I swear. Nothing but help for the past two months that I have been without him. I have realized last night, that patience is a virture and I will do anything, even wait if it means that he will stay clean. From the looks of everything that is his big plan of action. It is easy to say one thing and harder to do that one thing. He has my support, and the support of my side of the family.

So again, thank you all, you've been more than helpful, you've been a breath of fresh air. Kindness never ceases to amaze me here.

Speaking as someone whose ex's parole officer did NO follow-up, who had NO post release programs mandated, who had no support net but me, I will tell you - BE GLAD that they're keeping tabs on him, wahtever those tabs may be. It gives him more time to adjust and to rehearse his healthy habits, and may well help the two of you have a long, happy and incarceration-free life together.

From what you describe, it sounds as if you're talking about some sort of "aftercare" program, whether a halfway house, residential treatment, or merely, as you say, some mandated 12 Step meetings I have no idea. I do think it is a good idea for someone who has been clean/sober while incarcerated (or even in residential treatment) to have some time continuing to work on their recovery. As I was told during one of my two bouts of treatment for alcoholism, "ANYONE can stay sober in here....but you'd better have some idea of what you're going to do out there". As it happens, I bought a bottle on my way home--I wasn't ready to quit then, and didn't.

When I was ready, I got myself dried out (yes, it is possible to see spiders) and went to AA meetings 5-6 times a week for over a year. After that I stayed sober on my own for just short of nine years. One day I thought it might be a good idea to have a drink.....and within about three months I was in trouble again, which led to among other things two years of probation and enforced sobriety with two verified AA meetings per week.

I consider a lot of those meetings wasted...."having" to go there and get my report card signed made the meetings compulsory, and for me at least, that made it very difficult for me to try to get what I could from them for myself--and only for myself, which I believe is key.

However, I am long since off probation and still going to meetings....and still sober. And frankly, it's become a lot more comfortable doing so and being so once the report cards were no longer needed.

That said, some extra "support" when one first re-enters "the world" might well have kept me sober after my first stint in treatment. I do wish you and your loved one all the best. Just remember to work on your health for yourselves....because if you can't be there for yourself, you can't be there for the other.

I know this was posted a while ago but FYI; The drug program at Dickerson is actually pretty good considering so many jails and prisons have such drastic cuts. I have the course book from their program there and I think its impressive.

Like so many people have already stated, the continued aftercare is absolutely necessary. AA/NA statistics state that about 50% of there members relapse and out of those 50% all had quit attending meetings. Some counselors call it a "dry" sober, I went 15 yrs without meetings and without using and then one day I just thought I'd try a little again in less than 6 mos. I was in jail and had lost my kids, it's a proven fact that without continued care it's a matter of time before an addict relapses because we become "comfortable" and get relaxed about our sobriety. Not to mention we have forever altered the chemical make-up of our brains and we no longer "think" like someone who is not an addict. Good Luck!!!

KFK123 - I believe what you say is true about relapse and the need for constantly being 'on guard' - AA meetings and definitely not using.
I have a son who is in CCNO for the third time - this time for his 4th DUI
and for possession of cocanie- though a visting judge to the court on the
day my son was there knocked it down to 'an attempt to commit an offense'.
I was hoping he would have rehab in jail but he said 'overcrowding' keep
him out of that program. Is that possible? I know CCNO is always overcrowed and that 80% is there for drug and alcohol offenses. Only good thing is that the one judge ordered him to be on the SCRAM ankle monitor
for 3 months after he's out. How good is SCRAM does anyone know?

I've read about the SCRAM monitor. It is supposed to test for alchol every hour, it tests sweat on your ankle under the monitor. Since alcohol is excreted through our breath and our sweat, it is supposed to be fairly accurate at detecting ANY alcohol use.