I have been coming to this forum for a little while now. Until today I have been too chicken to post my story of how I met my Soul Mate. So here goes nothing...
I met my fiance through a friend of mine that he was cell mates with in Jan. 2001. EJ (my fiance) wrote to me & from there we became close pen pals. I was living at home at the time we corresponded & at some point I had to tell him to write to another address because I couldn't have his letter being sent home anymore. Well because of that address change we lost touch for about 3 months. I moved away from home & in May of last year I decided to look EJ up & see if he was still in prison or if he had been released. I found out he was transferred to another prison & I wrote him. From that letter it felt like a lost friend had stepped back into both of our lives. I knew right away that he was interested in taking our friendship to the next level. I was hesitant for a long time because of past experiences. Well EJ being the persistant, caring & loving man that he is...he broke down my resistance. From there he started calling, we wrote constantly & I finally went to see him last year. He was coming home in October of last year & we were making plans to be together.
Well when he came home, he got himself into more trouble & he is now back in prison again. It's been so hard on the both of us because we realized we had done many things wrong when we started talking. I know so much more about him & his past NOW than I did then. If he would have told me what he has NOW...back THEN things would have been so different. I have lost many friends because I have decided to wait for EJ & even because I write to him. My family doesn't know about him, only my sister & luckily she approves. I do have 2 friends that understand (to a point), sometimes though because they can only understand to that point it's hard to talk to them. It's been so hard at times not being able to have EJ here with me & for us to go through with our plans. Many days I just cry & feel like we are NEVER going to be together & maybe I should give up. I love him though so it's worth it.
The people in this forum seem very helpful & so understanding...I hope that I can get to know you all & not feel so alone at times.
Ok now to stop my rambling...sorry this post is long!

DON'T WORRY ABOUT THE RAMBLIN! WE ALL DO IT! WELCOME TO PTO! YES, A RELATIONSHIP GOES SO MUCH BETTER WITH COMMUNICATION! LARRY AND I DO THAT REAL WELL, AND I KNOW IT HAS BEEN A VERY STRONG PART OF OUR MARRIAGE! LARRY AND I HAVE A DAUGHTER THAT WILL BE 26 YRS. OLD IN JULY, WE GOT BACK
TOGETHER IN FEB. 1991, AND HE WAS IN PRISON AND STILL IS. HOPEFULLY, HE'LL BE HOME IN THE NEXT NINE MONTHS OR SO. WE ALSO HAVE 3 BEAUTIFUL GRANDSONS! LUCKILY SOME OF MY FAMILY LOVE LARRY TOO AND ARE VERY UNDERSTANDING, THEN I ALWAYS HAVE OUR DAUGHTER, HER AND I AND TRAVIS, TYLER, TRACE SHARE A 3-BEDROOM HOUSE! WE JUST SHARED MOWING THE LAWN A LITTLE WHILE AGO! WELL, NOW I'M RAMBLIN! KEEP THE FAITH AND WE'LL LISTEN ANYTIME! PENNY

Hello There:

Don't worry about rambling here.... I am the rambling Queen as most of these girls will tell you. You and my future Daughter-in-Law. (Love Muffin) need to chat. You both have a lot in common. She met my son in Prison while she was an employee there. Has since become engaged to him and they are Soul Mates also.

Welcome to PTO..... We are here because we all have a great deal in common.... Our Loved Ones.


Donna

Hi,

Don't feel bad about your situation or how you met DJ. You are right most people in the free world do not understand how anyone could wait on someone in prison. I have been told by my best friend to get on with my life. See, I too am in love with an inmate. His mother is Budwoman. We have been in contact with each other since November of 2000. We are both crazy in love with each other. It is a possibility that he could be in prison as long as 2010. I do believe in my heart he will be home soon, but there are no guarantees. Anytime that you need to talk we are here for you. I just started on this web-site a few days ago and it has already helped me tremendously. Don't ever worry about rambling. It is okay.

Renee

Thank you rainbowpenny for sharing your story with me. Also thank you to budwoman for telling me about your future daugher-in-law Love Muffin, I would like to chat with her soon. I use my internet access from work so I may not always be able to be on, but I will try.

I have read many posts before I sent in mine & everyone that is on here seems so warm & nice to each other. That is something that I don't have too much of here with people telling me to leave EJ (among other "Nice" things they say). I have a feeling that talking to you guys will help me out a great deal in missing him so much.

Thank you all!
Diona

Hey, just want to add another wecome to you. It is sad to read post after post about how people do not have any friends who understand and we have to come to a computer to find love and acceptance. What has this world come to?

Well, you ARE welcomed here and no judgements made as to your decision on who you love. This place allows everyone to make their choice and do not disown, put down or judge for their decision.

Don't worry about rambling.....I think it is almost a pre-requesite to join!!!!! :D

Looking forward to hearing more from you.

Joy

P.S. If you havn't read yet about our live chat on Tuesday nights....feel free to come and join us at 8 p.m. Central Time. It's great to talk to every body outside of just posting.

WELCOME!
I felt the same way you did when I first found PTO. Since I have joined I have been able to relieve a lot of stress and find unimagimable support. I understand about your family, very few people in my family know where My guy is, the ones that do never tell me to leave because they love him. But it is very obvious that they would like me to move on and have a "normal" life. I say normal by who's definition. I have to remind myself that they only feel that way because they want only the best for me and to see me happy. Although I feel I have that now, it would be better if he was home Eventually I will have him home and they will all see the reasons I waited.
As for friends, I withdrew from a lot of mine, guess I just needed to be alone for a while. The ones I am in contact with are mostly supportive because they are also friends of his. (we were friends for years before we started dating) There are a few however, that since this happened do not treat my relationship as "real". Deep down I know it is more real than the ones they are in,lol. I let them find out for themselves.

Anyway, see we all ramble, it's a PTO habit!
My point is this, be strong, remember that this is a rollercoaster ride of emotions for both of you. As for the people who make comments, eventually they will either have to accept you (the relationship being part of who you are) or they won't. If they don't then how much did they really care about you to being with?
We all understand your heartache and are here for you always!

HI :)
Another welcome to you. i am brand new myself but I certainly understand how you feel about the friends and family thing. I drew back from most people when this all happened to me. Since then I have slowly come back and I have now found out who the real friends were. The most wonderful thing that has happened is the new friends I have made since it all happened. The"visiting gals" whom I see every weekend now and have lunches with when we all visit our men...or sons....or Dads, etc.
As to the rambling...well, I can join you anytime in that!!
You take care.

Shannon

Hi Diona-So glad you have joined us!! Isn't it wonderful to have a whole new set of friends and extended family who love and support you unconditionally?! One of the greatest things about this group is although we dont always see eye to eye, we always see heart to heart. I know I can relate to everyone here in some significant way; I think we all can. Anyway, again--welcome to "the family"

sherri

Another warm welcome and hello. thank you for sharing your story with us.. I met my now husband while he was locked up and he still is.. It is by any means normal but I would not change the fact that I found him. He is my soul mate and my quam.. He is my everything so just hold on to EJ and know that love always wins when it is real...

Just another welcome here!! This is the one place I have found a safe place to let out my feelings and I feel closer to these people then I do some that I have known all my life--we are the true sense of the word family-unconditional love!!

Thank you all for you kind words of welcome & sharing a bit of your lives with me.

I know what you all mean about the friends. I have gotten to a point where it's doesn't matter to me that they are in my life any longer. If they were TRUE friends they would be supporting me throughout everything. As long as I have EJ in my life I will be alright (let me correct that). As long as EJ & I have one another we will both be alright. When he is finally home with me is when all those "doubting Thomas's" will realize that what EJ & I have been going through is all worth it.

Do any of you know anything about good time being granted to inmates? EJ might be able to get some good time (although not now because he went back recently). I wonder though if he would even be able to get good time because he violated his parole. If any of you guys happen to know how good time in the Illinois system works I would greatly appreciate it.

Again thanks for all your warm welcomes! I know talking to you all is going to help me a great deal!

Diona

just another quick welcome

Diona.... (first of all I have to say that is a really pretty name... :) )
Wanted to extend another welcome.... Sorry if it is a little tardy.... Most of us have become PTO addicts and check for new posts frequently!! I too met my man (JD) while working in a prison and can also relate to your experiences with others not understanding... Sometimes even those who seem to accept it and try to be supportive sometime's aren't because they just can't truly understand... Welcome to PTO.... you will find much love and support here!! Look forward to seeing more of you!!

The stigma of crime

Even tho, people color outside of the lines on a regular bases, those of us that have fallen are grouped much like racism is.

A brother or sister that has fallen has to deal with society under those terms (racism type) and people that befriend us has the same effect on society IMO

In fact, most of society would just as soon we went away, some place else, so they wouldn't have to deal with us!

Once down, scared forever, is my take on the situation and I've been there for over 40 years. I live a very LOW KEY life style since 1995, because it's the safest for my own mental health. From the mid 60's to the mid 90's I felt and lived as a free preson, I just can't afford to do that any more!

I've said all that to say this, expect rejection from society in general and be content with the happiness you have found in being involved with one of us that has fallen. You are the ray of hope!!

Welcome to PTO!! Glad to have you aboard.

Tracy

Very handsome! He has beautiful eyes!

Pat

Thank you...thank you!! It was LUST oh I mean LOVE at first site when I went to meet him for the first time!
Can't wait to get him home & see those beautiful blue eyes everyday for the rest of our lives!!

Diona

beautiful eyes indeed!! he looks like a very sweet man, the type of man you want to hug and touch all the time ;)

Yes his eyes are gorgeous!

This post also belongs in the Husbands and Boyfriends forum.
Please use the Introductions & Stories forum strictly for Introductions.

Thanks,
David

PS. Handsome guy

The other option is to upload their pictures under your original introduction, just not as a individual post.

Sorry about that...I didn't think to put the pic in this forum.
Thanks for saying EJ is handsome!

Diona

Diona... it is so nice to actually be able to see the EJ I have heard so much about.... that IL mugshot is very familiar!! :)

Diona

Not only does he have great eyes, but he is a HUNK!!!!

That is comming from a 60 year old woman too...


Love Ya
D
d

VERY NICE PIC

He is a cutie! No offense, I think my guy is cuter! LOL~

Great picture - it's great to put a face with a name.

Thanks for the nice compliments on my honey EJ! I am pretty proud of that GORGEOUS MAN!!
Veronica I think we all think our honey's look better...LOL!!
If I can get a good pic of myself I will have to post it.

Diona

Diona,

That a really good picture. He is even smiling which is a rare thing in there. He must be thinking of you. Ha
:D

hey there just seeing how your doing

I am doing ok Shortie...would be better if I could have went to see EJ this weekend.
Gotta keep in my head I WILL see him once that damn lockdown is lifted off the whole facility.

Diona

i can understand that. anthony is on lock down too but at least they can have visits.. I am going to make the 4 hr one way drive to go see him for 2 hours on Sunday..:) it is worth it all...

by the way nice pic :) :)