Does anyone have problems with the guards trippin becasue they see a white woman with a black man? IT just seems that Damon and I get all the crap because of this. We get picked on and he is always being threatened about write ups and being sent to the hole. Other people are doing stuff during their visits but they never get caught for nothing. Damon and I could just be sitting there minding our own business and the CO's will find something wrong with us. Damon says that I shouldn't allow these guards intimidate me and make me nervous because if they see this then they think they are winning over on us in order in keeping us apart. They attack when they see a situation they don't like which is us. Damon wrote saying it is all type of racism around here and these people (CO's) will do everything in their power to detach us because they don't want any "interracial relationships" going on around there. These guards make me nervous, always having their eyes on us and not anyone else. I am even nervous in holding his hand, afraid that they will place him in the hole over petty stuff . I was just wondering if anyone else has been placed in this situation before. :confused:

Yes I have had the same problem with co's making my husband and I feel uncomfortable and writing him up for stuff you see other couples do who are the same race...yet they did not get in trouble. I just don't go visit during that time slot when that guy is there. For some reason he does not like us. I don't see him give other interracial couples grief. Oh well...I just don't go when he is there. Good luck...God Bless!:)

Michelle

I have the same trouble with some guards, especially because I have extended visits living so far away. In all the years I've been visiting I've noticed same race couples getting longer than me even though they haven't been given extensions. It makes me so mad but what can I do. I can't complain because it's not me who will suffer the consequences. We just sit quietly, hold our tongues and put up with it, but none of us should have to do that, we should all be treated as equal, but we know that isn't going to happen.

Rose

Me & Kevin haven't had any problems here lately cause of our IRR...at least not at his current facility...they treat everyone pretty equal there...if you ain't doing nothing wrong, they ain't gonna mess with you...so, they are pretty fair there. But, when he was in work release back in 2002...they made it KNOWN they didn't like our relationship for the pure reason he is black and I'm white...they didn't like it at all. Another facility seemed to not like it either (we were the only mixed couple there..period)...but, other than those 2...I don't have any complaints..at least not about the race issue. :)

...when I first started visiting...we had problems...he sees discrimination all the time at the prison he is at because of one's color...I don't let them bother me now!

It's just something that I guess you have to get used to, depending on where you live (I personally have to say something if the person is being really rude). My family and I get kind of the same treatment no matter where we go. I am biracial, he is white, and we have children. White female/black male combos are more frequently seen than vice versa, so people get really curious. I know that a lot of people see a white person who dates/marries a black as being 'contaminated' somehow. Pfft. Whatever. Keep your head up and don't let anyone make you feel less than just because they're ignorant.

My Husband has been moved around alot and though I have expereniced rasism with Male COs never really with the Females until now...I am Vanilla He is Chocolate and this camp has more women who work there then I have ever seen and I always DRESSED when I visit my Honey but I don't really wear alot of make up...so they HATE!!!! Because he is Sexy and A MAN...With Promise all over him...Black and White Female COs constantly harrass us...Walk by laughing loudly at nothing and me Laughing Back...What they NEED to UNDERSTAND is that he could be behind a five foot thick piece of Glass and we would still...be crazy in Love...I think that since they spend more time with them then we got to they get a bit attached...and when I just tried to bring it to the Asst. Warden's attention...not naming anynames... he got defensive right away...I just think that it is stupid and petty...I respect anyone who shows me respect...I see same race couples and mixed race couples at this camp doing things "To Hot for PT" and I can't even hold his hand...which is allowed...just some BS...I just want to do this Last 8 months trouble free...PLease God...Thanks for your time...

we haven't really dealt with this because he hasn't been allowed any prison visits yet. however, whether or not they feel it, it's usually not tolerated to be blantantly racist in the prisons and county jails, because racism means one word=lawsuit! people LOVE to sue the pants of the criminal justice system in nj for some reason. i know of other interracial couples who don't have drama...but i'm the only black woman/white/hispanic male i know, so it may be different. everyone else is white female/black male or hispanic female/black male. we'll probably have drama because he's so beautiful, inside and out, and will make everyone else jealous of me because i have him. we already go through the "co's wanna get closer to me" bit, and that's black, white, and hispanic officers. we'll see when the visits start.

last week I was visiting my husband and I was getting him something to drink a co that was working in the v-room said something to my husband, all I heard was his reply- "Yes, isn't she beautiful?!". when I got back to the table he told me what she said.... she said to him "so you are married to a white woman, huh?" This was a African American woman saying this.

This was a African American woman saying this.

My situation doesn't relate with a CO -- although we do get some looks but that's all -- it was with a black female visitor. My back was to her -- so I didn't see any of it. (I was so into him I wouldn't have noticed a tornado tearing the building down.) She was shooting visual darts at my back. When R. noticed it -- he looked at her long enough to convey a silent message of "tend to your own visit" message to make her stop. This 'ho is sitting there with her own man, her own relationship, but she's got time to be wondering why we're together? Puh-lease...

I love to see IR couples. In Wisconsin, I've seen enough mixed couples so the COs don't have the time to just focus on us. Maybe they'll realize they're wasting their time. I have seen white couples together; the white visitors wearing clothing that I know I would've had to go change into something else.

R. tells me not to even try to push it on the dress code rules. I have to spend too much money on the plane tickets, hotel, rental car to mess around with visiting rules.

I am a white woman married to a puerto rican man and in NJ prisons you would think it is a common sight, but the way the CO's act, it's as if I have committed a crime. My husband enjoys telling the CO's "yes she is white and guess what? I got myself an educated woman...she's a lawyer". That usually shuts them up. Love doesn't know color or race...it doesn't know any barriers...that's the way I see it...if u don't like what u see then don't look...I am proud to be a white woman married to a Puerto Rican convicted felon!!!

Im a co. What most of you can do is (1) don't say anything (2) write down the co's name, badge number, place, date, time. (2) have your love one put in a kite or inmate letter to the warden and send you a copy. (3) if that doesn't work. (4) file a harassment law suit. Where I work we do not tolerate any prejudice what so ever, because you would be fired. We treat all inmates for who thay are and not what thay are.

Thank you, Tom, it's refreshing to know there are some out there who treat us as we treat others. You're info will be well received and used, no doubt

Rose

Does the prison you vists at have a visit liasion.. If you have a problem you can talk to them.. I thought most prisons had them but i maybe wrong.

Last time I saw him, this female C.O. sitting at end of the room was staring at me the entire time, I didn't even realize she was still looking at me until I looked back up like 20 minutes into the visit. And when I was leaving and getting my visitor registration card, this other C.O. pulled mine out and said "now HOW did I know this one was yours?"

And it's true, when the visiting hours end, the inter-racial couples seem to go first.

Im a co. What most of you can do is (1) don't say anything (2) write down the co's name, badge number, place, date, time. (2) have your love one put in a kite or inmate letter to the warden and send you a copy. (3) if that doesn't work. (4) file a harassment law suit. Where I work we do not tolerate any prejudice what so ever, because you would be fired. We treat all inmates for who thay are and not what thay are.

thank you Tom! it's NICE to know that SOME places still have respect, law and order, regardless of what it's for! i know the DOC here has lawsuits up the gizzo because of this same behavior. it should NOT be tolerated, and no one should HAVE to feel intimidated to go ANYWHERE because of their color! thanks again!

My husband and I are of the same race, however, I must say there are alot of mixed couples where I visit and I can honestly say I have never seen any favortism going on. I have never seen any discrimination going on either. Perhaps it is different depending on the state one lives in.

As if we aren't already stressed enough with the rules that we have to all follow. Yes, I admit that I do see some visitors with clothes on that I know I would not be allowed to wear, but you know, perhaps there is a reason for that. If it ever bothers me too much, I certainly will be inquiring while I am there as to why someone else is allowed in those clothes while the visiting dress code clearly states it is not permitted.

All of my best to all of us.

Hi

In considering your issue, you have to consider the co's and who they are..for the most part prisons in WI are in rural area's. The co's for the most part are also from these rural areas and also racist. In addition, regargding a psychological profile on most of these guards, from my observation- they are basically (not all but most) the control freak type- in this line of work for that reason, to control (similar to most police officers) they have low self esteems and their only way to ease this is to push others around, belittle people and know they can get away with it. They are uneducated and underpaid. Their jobs are only an excuse to be bullys- they were bullys as children and that only progressed as adults.

I dont know what can be done but have been researching the rules and regulations handed to co's for their job- I downloaded a pdf regarding such which is basic but will seek more information.

No matter how helpless you feel in a given situation as co's belittling visitors- there is always something that can be done- someone to complain to...most social changes in history have evolved from grass-roots movements of people getting together and fighting the system.- Every person has someone to report to, even the warden of a particular prison.

I have made it my mantra to go to the top, to keep fighting for not only prisoners rights but also visitors rights and ethical treatment.- I am constantly gathering information and will continue to do so- the press is always interested in human interest stories and if enough people get together to put these co's straight, it will happen...the squeaky wheel gets the grease and there is always a way to fight injustice.
if you are interested in helping me fight this garbage- contact me directly at willowluna at charter dot net.
we can win this and change things- Ill never believe that nothing can be changed no matter how much power they think they have.

blessings and strength to all of us
aimee

I always felt that me and Raw attracted more than our fair share of attention, although there were many bi-racial couples at the facility where he was. I always wondered if it was because of who he was or what. Most of the negativity came from 3 black female CO's who in turn bothered the other visiting room officers about us. Not all of them act ugly though. One gentleman, and I really mean gentleman, was very kind and even gave lots of compliments to us re: our daughter.