I was a mule creek this weekend and I saw a few men with women who were not their wifes or g/f's. Usually u see the same women with the same guys when you visit as often as i do. What do u think when u see that? I could think, maybe shes just a friend or a cousin or something but the way they were looking at each other and *making out*- I know that wasnt the case!! Do u think she knows hes got someone? Why do guys do that?What do u think about the women? Just wanted to see if u'all were noticing what i was???

I think some of the girls don't know they are being played. I've seen it before but, I don't pay that much attention. I'm too involved just being with my husband to get mixed up in their drama. Guys do the same thing out here and to tell you the truth, I don't think there is a good answer for why they do that.

i would say there relationship wasnt that great so that is why there might be someone else. but you would have to look at how many women are seeing other guys with there man locked up. not taking sides with either one cheating is cheating and i dont think its right.

I just feel sorry for the woman who would drive hours to go see their man every weekend and then hes also having some other female visiting him too! Thats disrespectful!

i saw alot of that at lancaster and it's really sad, cause the one's who come on the day the wife doesnt just think this man is all sprung on them., what gets me is how the guy has no shame.. I feel sorry for the wife!!! Typical DOGG!

I've been told it happens...I personally haven't noticed because I'm so wrapped up in being with my man. If I didn't know the girl who was being played I wouldn't say anything. I do have friends there now and if I did see something going on, I would mention it to them. I don't need any more drama! I agree cheaters are terrible...it's amazing they can get away with it in there!!

I've seen a few things like that, but I don't judge. You never know what's going on between two people...

For instance, my guy and I are VERY affectionate (and very honest) with each other. We love and adore each other and we "make out" at visits, but I honestly wouldn't freak out if he kissed another gal on some weekend when I'm not around.

So it may look one way to you from the outside, but you really can't assume you understand their relationship.

That said, there sure are plenty of guys playing women, no doubt about it... but unless the woman was my good friend, I'd stay out, cause you never know what their deal is... and well, you don't know what SHE'S up to either...

I guess bottom line is, I'm too wrapped up in my own visits to care. :)

I just got finished telling someone.

I have a pen pal who is married and his wife wouldnt visit him, so occasionally I would take his kids to visit. He asked me if he could send me a box of stuff to store in my garage and kept after me. Finally I said yes. He kept sayin he wanted me to look at it but to tell the truth I had no interest. Then, on weekend, I got bored and did look thru it. There were letters from other women who thought they were the only ones waiting for him.

I thought about it for a couple of weeks and then finally decided to just send a short note and all the addresses to each woman. I spoke with his wife since I knew her personally and she knew about his games. She even admitted to getting some of the money they sent. She didnt care who visited, who sent nasty pics, who wrote and who thought there were engaged.

Whatever, at least my soul doesnt have the weight of knowing and not telling anymore.

Jamie used to point stuff like this out to me when he was at Chester. He used to point at the guys and say, see that woman, that's not his wife, or that's not his girlfriend. We used to joke around and stuff, but I never said anything. It's not my place to get involved. You don't know what's going on inside their relationship.

My husband told me that the guy he cooks and eats with has a girlfriend and a wife and they both know about each other. I know it's none of my business and not for me to judge, but as a woman I honestly don't believe that the wife is cool with this deep down inside. If my man was doing this I would be hurt to the core, but that would be it, no second chances. But that's just me!

Tammy

I have never paid attention while visiting, but of course I know that it happens. Men are such dogs!

I know I see that alot at San Quentin. I just stay out of it. I remember one time a wife and the other woman got into it. I think that they shouldn't have been fighting, they should have gotten mad at the man because he is the one playing them. That is wrong for the man to play on the ladies because some women are really in love and that is not fair that htey are sitting up telling them that they are the only one knowing that there is someone else. I think that it should be open, let the woman decide if they want to share, don't force that on us.

I dont think that its just the male inmates that do this... so it isnt all about men being doggs!! If theyre gonna get away with it, theyre gonna do it!
I havent personally noticed because i dont go to visit my honey regularly, but my man has pointed out certain dudes who are playing women!

I remember when i went to go and visit my ex in prison over here. I was only going to see him in order to close the chapter in the book. He is married and his wife goes to see him every 2 weeks without fail (because thats all that they are allowed in prisons here in the UK - 1 x 2 hour visit every 2 weeks). Somehow he slipped a visiting order pst her and sent it to me to visit him. He asked me not to go on a certain day and not to talk to anyone because he didnt want the wife to find out!! Morale of this story... some women know that the man that she is visiting has a wife or girlfriend, so there is no point in getting involved!! I wasnt there for all of that. I was there to tell him that the mushy letters had to stop as i wasnt interested with that kind of relationship anymore. (Note: When i was seeing him when he was on the streets i didnt know that he was married!!)

I've seen it many times- It doesn't bother me a bit. What other people do in the visit room has nothing to do with me or my guy.

They have a right to live their lives as they see fit- If it doesn't effect me, it's not for me to judge.

First rule of prison life:
Mind your own business!! :D

I think that I would tell the other woman if i knew her good, cause i would want it to happen to me I see it all the time but my husband tells me to mind my own business. But like I said I know that Im the only one that visit my husband I also asked for a list of his approved visitors from his CC1 :thumbsup:



I was a mule creek this weekend and I saw a few men with women who were not their wifes or g/f's. Usually u see the same women with the same guys when you visit as often as i do. What do u think when u see that? I could think, maybe shes just a friend or a cousin or something but the way they were looking at each other and *making out*- I know that wasnt the case!! Do u think she knows hes got someone? Why do guys do that?What do u think about the women? Just wanted to see if u'all were noticing what i was???

This happened to my husband and I! His sister and I made an agreement that I would visit Saturday and that her and her kids would go up on Sunday. In fact, she brought pictures home to share with me! And wouldn't you know it...the very next Saturday, a very "concerned" lady came up to me and "just wanted to let me know" that my husband had another lady visiting him the previous weekend. I said: "Did she have 2 kids?" and the lady said: "yes." I said: "was she a cute little mexican girl with REALLY long hair and green eyes?" she said: "yes, have you had problems with her before?" and I said: "NO B**TCH, SHE'S MY SISTER-IN-LAW! MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS!"

...Just goes to show you that people shouldn't prejudge! LOL!

Well, you never know what's really going on--but dogs are dogs whether they're inside or not. It's just ashame when people get hurt.

i've seen that happen at rj donovan and i mean it was like very obvious because when you visit all the time you know who's always there with their man and when somemeone else is there it was very noticeable, it happens a lot at county jail out here too you'll be waiting and then someone else comes in and you can here all that's going on especially if the inmate refuses the visit the other person waits to see, at donovan same thing that's why you gotta stay on your game with your guy so when he tries that he has no excuse for it.

I seen it a lot at San Quentin this past weekend and I feel like it is none of our business to get involved. Plus your not doing nothing but making trouble for your man because the guy that you just hated on is going to get at your man and that's just going to make more trouble. So I think at visiting mind your own business, your there for one reason and that is to see your man not to be worried about what somebody else man is doing.:thumbsup:

exactly cali girl.

The only thing I see on visits is my man and only my man. There are so many people there I don't have the time or the interest to keep track of who is there to see who.

wow, when i saw this thread I thought- well here comes the noise!! LOL But you all are so calm and non judgemental on this one. I can see both sides. I would be hurt if my man was playing me like that but its true that ppl all live different lives and its not for others to judge. If I could visit my man often and not behind glass I would be in heaven and I wouldnt be paying any attention to anyone else either! :)

I see it all the time at visiting but of course my guy and I stay out of it. He's the one to point it out and say, that's wrong, for all the things us girls have to put up with. But we just mind our own business because everybody's got their own conscience to deal with in the end.

Jaimeelynn, that is too funny... :D I can only imagine what "concerned" people are gonna think now that my pal's sister went to see him right after me... LOL

But where he's at, no one points out anything, like others said, we're only there for 1 reason and it's true, tripping on others can get your man in trouble he doesn't need.

I was visiting my guy last weekend and one of the C/O's was telling me that they had an inmate waiting to come out to the visiting room and seriously started panicing, told the C/O's to go ahead cuff his a-- back up and take him back to his cell because his wife was at one table and his "girlfriend" was at the door waiting to come in. It just amazes me that these guys don't have more respect for the women in their life standing true to them that they can still mess off in that way. I know that my "guy" is just my friend but I don't but it past him. But seriously I think guys in or out of prison will all play the same game as long as they can get away with it.

What would be funny is if his "girlfriend" wasn't there to see him but another guy...

I was visiting my guy last weekend and one of the C/O's was telling me that they had an inmate waiting to come out to the visiting room and seriously started panicing, told the C/O's to go ahead cuff his a-- back up and take him back to his cell because his wife was at one table and his "girlfriend" was at the door waiting to come in. It just amazes me that these guys don't have more respect for the women in their life standing true to them that they can still mess off in that way. I know that my "guy" is just my friend but I don't but it past him. But seriously I think guys in or out of prison will all play the same game as long as they can get away with it.

This happened to my husband and I! His sister and I made an agreement that I would visit Saturday and that her and her kids would go up on Sunday. In fact, she brought pictures home to share with me! And wouldn't you know it...the very next Saturday, a very "concerned" lady came up to me and "just wanted to let me know" that my husband had another lady visiting him the previous weekend. I said: "Did she have 2 kids?" and the lady said: "yes." I said: "was she a cute little mexican girl with REALLY long hair and green eyes?" she said: "yes, have you had problems with her before?" and I said: "NO B**TCH, SHE'S MY SISTER-IN-LAW! MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS!"

...Just goes to show you that people shouldn't prejudge! LOL!
I don't think there was any need to be so disrespectful when she obviously had your best interests at heart. Maybe she should have minded her own business but she thought she was doing you a favour.

I think what we all need to understand believe it or not we are not here to make friends. I might speak to you while we are waiting to visit but that doesn't mean that we are friends...Mind your own business then you wont give anyone a reason to go bad on you. Maybe she could have said it in a nicer way but the fact still remains that the woman was in her business and she didn't need to be. What are you worried about another woman coming to see someone's man for, your not putting money on his books,bringing the girl up there every weekend so why are you concerned with what is going on in there relationship for. It's sad to say but you have to keep your own best intrest at heart and worry about what is going on in your relationship and hope that on the days that you don't visit your man another woman isn't sitting in for you.

I don't think there was any need to be so disrespectful when she obviously had your best interests at heart. Maybe she should have minded her own business but she thought she was doing you a favour.

I was visiting my guy last weekend and one of the C/O's was telling me that they had an inmate waiting to come out to the visiting room and seriously started panicing, told the C/O's to go ahead cuff his a-- back up and take him back to his cell because his wife was at one table and his "girlfriend" was at the door waiting to come in. It just amazes me that these guys don't have more respect for the women in their life standing true to them that they can still mess off in that way. I know that my "guy" is just my friend but I don't but it past him. But seriously I think guys in or out of prison will all play the same game as long as they can get away with it.



Teepee that is too funny! Not funny to the wife or girlfriend.

True, I probably could have been nicer, but, if I don't know you and you are making terrible assumptions about me and my family - better believe I am not going to be nice! That woman had a habit of gossipping about other vistors, too, so, I was NOT about to be her topic of the week! Cali is right: I am not there to make friends. I don't care about you, your man or any of that, I am there for ONE reason and that's to visit my husband. I have been doing this 12 years and have maybe 3 friends from the whole experience. That's the way I like it, I'm very private.

Because I live so far from my man when I go visit him I spend all three and if can swing it will do the 4 days all 8 hour visits, I dont talk to any of the other women nor do I get involved but that doesnt mean I don't notice. I remember one guy was there with what I would imagine was his GF or Wife then the next day he was there with another woman I never said a word but my man knew I noticed and said,, relax that's his sister don't you notice the resemblence (which there really was).
He know's how I feel about that I don't like it at all! I believe in honesty but more important I believe in Karma, we reep what we soe, and that is all of us,, them inside and us outside. I think we have the right to know, I think they have the right to know if you are sleeping around on them also, even if you have led them to believe that you have been faithful.

I see it alot but i mind my own business. It causes nothing but heartache to get involved.

pw

I believe in honesty but more important I believe in Karma, we reep what we soe, and that is all of us,, them inside and us outside. I think we have the right to know, I think they have the right to know if you are sleeping around on them also, even if you have led them to believe that you have been faithful.

Very well put! And by the way, when a wife or girlfriend is sleeping around while the guy is locked up, the guy almost always finds out. And how do they find out? Cause a "homeboy" will tell, believe that. They look out for one another in that way, so if you have a friend/"homegirl" that's getting played, shouldn't the same rules apply? I'm not sure, all I know is that if I was getting played I would want to know.

There is a difference between a friend/potna/homegirl and a person that is putting there nose where it doesn't belong. Now if you have a understanding with that person that she will tell you and you will tell her then ok but if not people really need to mind there own business. Yes it is a messed up situation for the woman but it is not any ones place to get involved that will cause more problems then you may think

You know I have read a lot of the posts and to be honest, I wouldn't say anything to another woman, the first time I visited I was specifically told not to talk to any of the women, if they tried to talk to me or help with the vending cards I was told to simply say I am fine and walk away I am not one who has ever gotten involved with other's drama but the fact remains I would want to know. Wouldn't You?

I voted that I'd look down on the inmate. Because I had 1st hand experience with seeing an Inmate with one lady friend during the 1st half of the day then on the same day another lady friend...I was kind of hurt for the ladies...I saw him "pretend" to be going back to the camp and then he sat back down and the other came in...As a matter of fact, IT's Not MY Business! Nonetheless, I couldn't help but feel hurt inside....My problem is that I have a tendency to think that most relationships are committed "one on one" like me & my husband. I have no right to compare or judge the inmate. He has his own crosses to bare. I do know that what comes around, goes around...And what ended up happening is that he got so bold that he slipped a note to yet another visitor asking her to write him :eek: She turned it over to the CO on duty and he got in trouble! But for the most part, I try to mind my own business. Just my :twocents: Sabrena

I see it all the time, and my husband can tell by my facial expressions and body language that I notice it. He just says "mind your business shavonne" LMAO

The only thing to do is mind your own business. You just cant go walking up to someone you dont know and dont know the situation and tell them about their men. I know me for one no one can tell me about my husband that dont know me. If you aint family or friends then I aint tring to hear you. You may have something to gain by tring to break up my relationship, who knows, some women are messy just to be messy.

Please look ahead, you have no idea what trouble lies for your loved one if you say something. Maria

:) :thumbsup: Please look ahead, you have no idea what trouble lies for your loved one if you say something. Maria

I don't think there was any need to be so disrespectful when she obviously had your best interests at heart. Maybe she should have minded her own business but she thought she was doing you a favour.
The disrespect came with the meddling.... when you ASSUME you make an @SS out of U and ME.
You dont know what someone's else's lesson in life is, or what kind of trouble you are inviting yourself into. Nobody likes a snitch.... my dad, who is "Mr. Straight", used to say that to us kids all the time when the rattin and tattlin' would start up....

I visit two guys in the same prison, and they not only know it, one introduced me to the other...
My fantasy visit would be to get to kick it with both of them at the same time
and they would like that too...
I wonder what people would have to say then..........hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm?????

I agree with ladyarkles, first rule of prison, mind your own business. Means the same as "do your own time". Butt out, could cause serious problems for your men if you start running your mouths about stuff that doesn't concern you and yours. Don't mean any offense to anyone but that's just the way it is.

I personally have seen serveral men in the visiting room with different women. There are a few men that have a wife and a girlfriend as well....if both these women know about it is beyond me because it ain't my business. Best thing to do is stay out of it. You can cause a lot of problems for your loved one inside by getting into someone elses business and I'm sure that's the last thing you want to do. Of course if it was me I would want to know, but then again if no one told me I wouldn't blame them because I'm aware of all the "prison politics." My advice is to stay out of it because like the others have said you really don't know the whole story or situation. :thumbsup:

What happens in the dark always comes to the light! I would stay out of it. It would be none of my business and I most likely I wouldn't know the whole situation and sooner or later if he's cheating he will get caught.:twocents:

This happened at the prison my husband is at a man always got visits from this one woman on Saturday and and his wife and kids on Sundays well one of the officers said something to him in the visitation room in front of everyone.:eek: She said "This is not the same woman that comes to see you every saturday" and all hell broke loose he cused the co out and his wife was cusing him out all at the same time. Come to find out he was cheating with the other woman. It was a bad situation one that I don't care to be involved in.

well I have seen the same thing at mule creek. As a matter of fact I was visiting someone there who I knew would get visits from another woman from Southern Cali He knew her first. and since he didn't mean to me what he did to her I didn't mind so much. I did talk to her to make sure she knew as he told me that I was going to visit him since I lived only 45 mins away. He's a lifer and the way I saw it she could only make it up once every 45 days or so. So, I had time to go and keep him company. Once I learned they were as serious as getting married I backed off. But it appears that no one has hard feelings. I know I don't, and she seemed to accept well enough that he was getting visits from me. basically I felt sorry for him and we weren't involved romantically I'd just go once and a while and chit chat, play cards, dominos. I even brought my grandson who is 10 months old. He got a real kick off seeing a child again. that was kind of sad being that he's been locked up for so long and has no kids of his own. Also in the visiting room I'd see wives come visit their husbands and shun his affections time after time (don't know why she still came to visit) and then some months later I'd see him with another girl who,, lol did not push away his kisses like he had bad breath... lol. Go figure.

I think that is sad if the wife or girlfriend doesn't know, now I wouldn't say it is my business to tell. But to stick by someones side when they have someone else & taking advantage is not nice.Then there is the common line "they know & dont care -or- they know & care but cant do anything about it" either way it's not nice.
I dont think it is my place to tell anyone-just be there for them when they need to talk about it -or- find out about it. Maybe saying something could set a bomb off, I think just being a friend can help. (but then again being a friend would also be telling the wife or girlfriend-so now I'm confused-LOL)

(I would want to know-and if come to find out I had already known then no harm done. But there is the chance of fixing the problem or moving on.)

Most of the ladies don't know that their man has more than one woman and that they are being played. When I was on visit one time, one of my sweethearts homeboys was visiting with his wife one weekend they were all hugged up kissing and all. He even introduced her to me while I was on visit with my baby. Then, the next weekend he was on visit with another female hugging and kissing on her. My sweetheart told me it was his girlfriend. The game is still the same inside of prison as well as outside of prison!

Not my man , not my problem and I don't know all these people so, so not my problem. but when they make it everyones business you know what I mean when two girls go at it
even than I don't get involved I would have to know the person I mean like really well to say anything and at that I would be careful why I'm saying anything cause you got to know, will I be doing it to break them up, to hurt my friend, or do I think something good will come out of it?? You Know without you getting into it, things have a way of coming out on thier own.... no need to be a snitch........
Love and be loved
hate and be hated
no ones life is easy but don't go making yours more hard
than what it needs to be
have a good one:thumbsup:

My man is at Mule Creek too. He says in his facility it's the same lady CO that works the visiting room and she will HINT to us if our man is getting other lady visitors.

I'm actually looking forward to the first time a CO takes it on themselves to tell me about the "other women"...I know who will be visiting, and can see the look on the COs face when I ask, with polite interest "Oh, SoanSo? Yeah, she called to make sure it wasn't my turn"

While there are plenty of men who play the women there are also plenty of women who play their men. I have seen women go from one yard to another to visit inmates and then I have seen women who hang out at the guards desk being VERY friendly with CO's. All the while their men sit there.

I have seen women who hang out at the guards desk being VERY friendly with CO's. All the while their men sit there.

:nono: That's disrespectful.

Oh, this makes me mad. If I ever found out my husband did something like that, I'd never talk to him again. The men your talking about probably are getting something from these women; money, etc... Unfortunately, there's a lot of women out there that are home wreckers. That know a man has a wife and children, but don't care. I say to all women like that, Why Can't you go find your own man? It's a very touchy subject for me, and I get mad just thinking about it.

One time my husband's ex-girl came to visit him and I stayed home. He says that I am always welcome to be there when she comes but I trust him and I don't like her, but I know that they are only friends and it is good for him to have contact with supportive people other then only me sometimes. So on this day she sat next to him and they faced each other talking and my friend's mom (her son is on the same yard as my hunny is) goes over to kiss my husband and say hi, she LOVES my husband, and he introduces her to my friends mom, only he didn't say what her relation was. So latter that day my friends mom calls me and goes I juust met KT's sister and she is such a lovely girl. I felt so bad telling her that wasn't his sister, she felt like she had told some awful secret or something. She felt bad and then she goes on to dish about how she say her put her arm on him or something and her took it off and tried to reassure me that he was not being affectionate to her. But I knew that already, he would never do me like that.

I have seen these so-called players in there though and since most wives know each other I do feel bad sometimes but I would never tell, that isn't my place. But I hate bing put in the position where one guy needed me to give a ride to his mistress and I felt that was out of line and I had my husband tell him no, that wasn't cool because I go out with your wife.

....., but I know that they are only friends and it is good for him to have contact with supportive people other then only me sometimes.

I was beginning to feel like I was the only one here who thinks that contact with "supportive others" beyond a romantic partner and immediate family is important... My Whateverheis and I are by no means "exclusive", but I am in a position to exert a certain amount of control over who contacts him.... Even though I'm not all that fond of some of the folks who have populated his life, I give his address to whomever asks unless I genuinely believe that an individual will be more trouble than their contact could possibly be worth and to those who ask about visiting, I tell them how the process works and all I ask of them is that they first not even ask him for a form unless they are really going to go see him and that once approved, they contact his mom and one other friend before they go to coordinate visits (His mom, of course, is top priority in terms of visits and phone calls)

Exactly!

Yes first rule: Mind your own business

Happened recently I was waiting to be processed , to get into visiting and this girl was asking or hinting around .. to me and this other woman about "how she THINKS her man might be having other girls come up">>> trying to get us to say ya we saw him... last visit w/ another girl.. i just sat there tight lipped.. NO WAY.. was i going to start any BS.. believe me i have enough... okay one time i was speaking w/ this girl i knew from mutual friends.. (on the streets)> .. and my husband threw a fit.. said "there was a RUMOR she was lugging drugs.">>>>>>>>>>>>>>> SOOOO i just mind my business..

I agree too it could start something up for your man every dog has their day .. and it WILL EVENTUALLY come out.. the truth always does one way or another.!


Donna

I was beginning to feel like I was the only one here who thinks that contact with "supportive others" beyond a romantic partner and immediate family is important... My Whateverheis and I are by no means "exclusive", but I am in a position to exert a certain amount of control over who contacts him.... Even though I'm not all that fond of some of the folks who have populated his life, I give his address to whomever asks unless I genuinely believe that an individual will be more trouble than their contact could possibly be worth and to those who ask about visiting, I tell them how the process works and all I ask of them is that they first not even ask him for a form unless they are really going to go see him and that once approved, they contact his mom and one other friend before they go to coordinate visits (His mom, of course, is top priority in terms of visits and phone calls)

I'm with you on this, I WISH more family and friends would visit him... you may be in the minority but you're not alone on this! Especially with him doing LIFE, why I should be his only contact from outside?

Also, as you point out, not everyone is "exclusive," even if they look like a couple... geez, he's so lonely in there and if an old girlfriend visited him I have no doubt he'd squeeze in a few hugs and kisses and I wouldn't have a problem -- except for people I don't know trying to make it their business to tell me about it!

I have to agree with that one we have to mind our own bees wax cuz it can get our men in trouble with the fella's it is really sad but some men in prison are not true to there ladies but most of us are lucky that they are I know my man is that is why we have to be careful and get to know them before we make a comitment. I see guys with other women all the time but I do not get involved I am there for my man and that is it.

I agree to a certain exetent. I feel like I would want to know.its the same on the streets really, If my husband is cheating I want to know. If he is just visiting with a friend that is ok with me, im not a jealous person, although i think we have a very good line of communication.

We were on the phone last night and the guard said he had a visitor and i said go see who it is, he flat out refused, I honestly think he knew who it was, he has a cousin who is trying to "hook" him up all the time. He tells me not to worry, so I dont. If i spent my life worrying I would be 6' under the ground.

I feel like I would want to know.its the same on the streets really, If my husband is cheating I want to know. If he is just visiting with a friend that is ok with me, im not a jealous person, although i think we have a very good line of communication...
....He tells me not to worry, so I dont. If i spent my life worrying I would be 6' under the ground.

Yup. That's me.

He trusts me and I trust him. If I ever found out something else was going on -- I would be devastated, of course, but my life wouldn't be over. When it comes down to it, it would be his loss and he knows that. If it was vice-versa it would be my loss.

As far as other people messing around on their significant other -- I have my own dramas (kids, finances, a$$holes at work...) to deal with and just don't have the emotional room to meddle in something that's not my concern.

I see it when I would go visit Chris, and I used to address it to him. He'd say to me, which is more important?.... their business, or ours? Basically telling me to worry about US and not someone else.

I agree with the rest of you, we should mind our own business... but this weekend I saw it happen, adn this guy must have 10 kids between these two women, and the co's were looking at him cause he had one chick there sat, and the other on sunday.... Some guys just dont care and have no shame whatsoever

Couldn't have said it better myself.

I'm not sure if I would tell, depends on how close the female and I were. I would really want to know though. I would want to look like a fool.

If my husband is doing it to me please please tell me! & if your man is doing it to you I will tell you!!!

I just recently saw an inmate that has a regular girlfriend or wife that comes and visits.. and I saw him with someone else... more than once. As soon as I saw him.. my Honey told me to please keep quiet and to mind my business. I wasnt gonna say anything but He was just reminding me just in case. I feel so bad for the women but saying something could cause problems with my man in there. So I prefer to allow him to let him do his time quietly. If we were on the outside though and I knew that someone was being wronged... I would open my mouth without a doubt! I would want to know!

Ladyarkles, You hit the nail right on the head Mind your own business!! All inmates are not doggs it take two to do, You have some females that are just as dogmatic as the men! My husband's daughter's mother told him that he could not see his daughter unless he had a relationship w/her (the mother). He told me about it and I told him do what he had to do in order to see his child....Well he told the mother that he would not be seeing his daughter if it means having a relationship with her.

I feel that a person should do what they FEEL they need to do for them, because everybody gets a turn!

So ladies if it is your man that was doing this would you want some one to tell you and how would you feel. Would you stay with him? I for one would want to know.

I've seen it happen where the wife showed up for a visit while the girlfriend was there.Not pretty. I am faithful to my husband.We are in this together. As for what I THINK,the man is a pig. Would I say anything? I won't cause problems for my husband,so not unless I knew more about the situation/people.

First rule of prison life:
Mind your own business!! :D Exactly:thumbsup: I had gone to visit my fiance one month almost every weekend. I knew he was going to have another female visit him, which I didn't care, but during his visit with her the lieutenant came into the visiting room. She walked by where he was seated and said, Boy, your sure popular, you always get a visit.:D When he told me this I busted into laughter. The staff was trying to bust him out.:D

This Is Funny Because I Know At Calipatria I Use To See This Alot.. Oh My Goodness.. I Told My Dude At The Time That I Did Not Know You Could Pimp Like That In Prison.. I Would Just Sit Back And Laugh.. And You Know Its Not The Mom Or Sister..because I Doubt They Kiss And Hug Like I Seen These People Do..

None of your business... that is my motto

cheaters are cheaters whether they are locked up or not. Do you consider them writing other women as cheating?

CC1 ? WHAT IS THAT? CAN I ASK HIS COUNSELOR OR DOES THE VISITORS LIST HAVE TO BE GIVEN TO THE INMATE THEN HE CAN SEND IT TO ME?

For anyone who has ever been inlove,we all know some woman want to know and some woman would rather not. if the woman getting played is a friend of yours u need to let her know. I would want to know.




So ladies if it is your man that was doing this would you want some one to tell you and how would you feel. Would you stay with him? I for one would want to know.

i would want to know. My friend is at Lancaster. If he is lying to me about me being the only one and someone else is seeing him i want to know. Is there a way we can check these things out for each other?

I have seen it a lot over the last few years and I think it's sad. I wish I could say something because I would want someone to tell me. But it could get my guy in trouble. As his fiance it's my job to proctect him as best I can so I keep my mouth shut on this when I see it happening out of respect for my fiance.

It is funny that this thread started out about Mule Creek because from 98-01 i was there evey single weekend both days. I used to see Suge Knight with his wife, and then the next weekend with a very popular female R&B singer, and they would alternate. I dont think they knew. I would see it all the time. I never gave my X the chance to let other girls visit. Even though he had given me permission to see men on the streets. Your first instinct is to tell only because you would want to know but really u might just be hurting the real woman more than helping her. She might know in the back of her mind and just be refusing to believe it and u are just making her look and feel dumb. and she might end up more mad at you for making her open her eyes than being mad at him like she should be. Some of these girls might not even know he is with someone else. chances are they dont. and besides, the "inmate" could turn around and try to set your man up with someone just because he has no other way to get back at you for messing up his game

oh my goodness, i have witnessed that too. i hate seeing stuff like that. i go every other weekend and i see the same guy with 2 different women and when he sees me he just looks at me with that "ahhh yeah" look. that just aint right. i told my man he better not even try that with me. dont make me look like a fool. i will cut him off in a heart beat. he even gets mad when he sees that guy doing that but he says, "that aint me and i dont get down like that girl!" i love the way he talks. hes too cute! :) anyway, he assures me that that doesnt even cross his mind. he only wants me there and no one else. what would he gain from that? more drama in his life than he already has had. he aint trying to lose the best thing that ever happen to him. aaahhh!!! poor women that are in these situations. loving my baby forever!:love:

I think it's wrong and I would want someone to tell me

First rule of prison life:
Mind your own business!! :D


AMEN AND AMEN!!! Imagine the repercussions on your husband/boyfriend if it became known that you had "ratted" on another inmate. While I can certainly sympathize with the women being played, I, nevertheless, would be more concerned about placing my husband in a most difficult position inside the walls. Think before you leap. And don't think that the woman you've told will not mention your name when she confronts her man. All's fair in love and war and you will have started a war.

it happens, i know of a guy who had 5 women coming to visit the same day! these women didn't know about the others ,so it was a real mess when they had to seat down at the same table and wait for him :p . i have seen some inmates with other female visitors than their spouse,but it could be a sister,a cousin....or else. my friend told me one principle:do not look,do not stare,mind your own buisiness .

I went to visit my man on Saturday and I know his wife is coming today to discuss his divorce.

Well I go every weekend :D and all the regulars know me.:wave: Yes, I keep an eye out for my girls and would tell them if I saw their men with other women as they would for me. Their men already know that (as does mine)--matter of fact the guys have already told their wives and girlfriends that they know the business. (I'm not there this weekend because the entire yard is on l/d :cuffs: ).
However for the ones who I don't know, no :no::nono: I wouldn't tell. And yes :yes: I have seen a few. One guy who got moved to another yard would have his wife come every other weekend and baby's mama all the other days. He wouldn't allow his wife or baby's mama to talk to me or the rest of girls :no: . There was another guy who did the same thing but the women must have gotten their visiting dates mixed up :slap: :confused: because they both showed up at the same day. :eek: Yes there was drama :angry: :ham: (this happened about 6 months ago) and he doesn't get visits anymore.:(
I have met quite a lot of people since I've been doing this. I have met people who are very much in love with one another and committed :heart: :love: to their relationship and I have also met people that really don't take the relationship thing very seriously :rolleyes: --just like on the streets.
Live and learn I guess is the only way to grow and understand what is really important in a relationship, as well as what people are really looking for.

I say if it was my girlfriend/homegirl... I would definatly tell her. I know the guys tell too. When I was 18 my husband (who was my boyfriend at the time) got busted. I cheated on him while he was down. When he got out we talked about it, he said do you know how I knew you were cheating... All the homeboys told me. I figure it was my fault for acting so wrong. If I did not want the homeboys talking about me, I should not have been doing the things that got them talking in the first place.

However I would NEVER approach some inmates wife just for the sake of tellin'. I know it sucks when men/women cheat like that, but it will all come out in the wash. It is not my place to get involved in other peoples personal lives

Here Here, you are soooooooooo right is NOT your place to tell, and what is done in the dark will come to light - keep your own business in check and that way you don't have to worry about another mans and or women's business - Running off at the mouth could get your man and you hurt. If your relationship is based on trust and honesty you should be fine, but for those that are doing low - it will come back to bite you in the :confused:

I would never say nothing but last time visiting noticed this one dude who was wearing dark sunglasses and a baseball hat like he was trying to hide his face. I got the feeling it was his wifes sister or somebody he didn't want her knowing about. Eventually he'll get caught......there's no doubt in my mind... and it will look good on him!

I for one would not just ignore it. I think that women who are being played have a right to know. There are plenty of men out there who are telling half a dozen women the same line and they need to be busted.

Yeah the guys do need to be busted......but it could also be you or your man paying for it as well.

You need to keep out of other people's business.... people get killed over sh#% like that, for real.

I went to see my husband about amonth ago. During count, I had a complete stranger walk up to me and tell me that she thought I should know my husband had another woman up there for a visit the weeke before. I stopped her right there. I let her know that 1st) she does not know me. 2) I knew that one of his kids mothers was there. 3) She needed to concentrate on her relationship and not mine. The woman was pissed. She said she was just looking out and she would hope that I would do the same for her. I told her then her life was not my business. Anyway, I trust my husband. He has told me when the mother of one of his kids wanted to go and visit. I would want to know if he was seeing other women behind my back, but I want a friend or atleast someone I speak to regularly to let me know. Not a complete stranger.

I seen some of that when he was in county jail here in San Francisco and I told him that if he needed to have somebody else visit him then leave me the hell alone . I have have his only child and I don't need anymore Drama. It's either be honest and faithful or leave me alone. I don't understand why they would do that to the only one that really loves them!! And when I do start visiting him I would love to know if anybody see's my guy with somebody else because i will leave him alone so quick!!!!!

I personally think that these men need to be busted. Do I say anything? NO But you better believe that the men talk and sooner or later the truth comes out. Which I believe is a good thing. Because if I was the one being played wasting my money, time, energy, and emotions I would definitely want to know.

...Just goes to show you that people shouldn't prejudge! LOL![/quote]

Exactly, I can't imagine the boredom and free time these people have
to ponder and even begin to try to figure out others motives in the first place.... :D

whatever ladies. we can say "it's not my business" and "I'm so into my visit with my man" and feel justified in doing so. yes, the first law of prison life is mind your own business and cheating is NEVER okay. emotions are a sticky thing to play with and when i have witnessed a guy with a different woman i feel empathy not apathy. i wouldn't dare say anything to either party because it doesn't call for that, however, if it were me i would want someone to at least empathize .

I would think that if I were on a visit with my man, I'd be too busy concentrating on him to worry about what someone else has going on at the next table. I could give less than a you know what... Besides, why do we always come down on the guys... maybe their "wives" or "girlfriends" are not on their J.O.B. Far be it from me to be the bearer of bad tidings...:no: Nah... I'D MIND MY OWN BUSINESS!!!

I would feel really bad for that female because they think its real and it aint that. It would be crazy to see that. I hope someone would let me know if that was to ever be the case but at the same time I wouldnt be able to tell someone else about it. I would feel really bad for that female tho.

First rule of prison life MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS. If someone doesn't it might come back to hunt you. You not personally maybe your loved one. Just saying. Chances are you not going to ever see that person again anyway once they get out so,why make it hard on your loved one by tattle telling? Makes no sense.

well honestly, I would like someone to tell me. I would use no names or point a finger at anyone. I know it's a mine your own business in any place in todays times but the truth be told I would like for someone to let me know. This time is no fun time & love is being honest...put it out there & let everyone involved make the decision on if they want to deal with it.
Honestly I wouldnt..

If a man is cheating, the signs are there anyway sooner or later if someone choses to see them.

I dont know if this happened with me and my man i would want someone to tell me.. I visit my man at SVSP on A Yard and one of my friends that I meet one weekend while visiting thought she saw him in visiting with another girl... she called me and told me. Next we both go to visit on A Yard she is going to give me a sign if it was him or not. So yeah I would want my friends to tell me and vice versa..

I think when you're down and out, you'll do whatever it takes to survive. So if a guy talks to two or more women, more than likely they know. I think it's just about what their partner will accept.

aw, the officers at county thought there was going to be a huge fight when another woman and i showed up on the same day. but i got my name in long before she did. so i win. and i know exactly who she is. the ex girlfriend and mother of his baby. she is psychotic and he's not allowed to contact her but she calls him 30+ times a day. no joke. and he repeatedly tells her not to call him and he wants nothing to do with her only his baby but in her head she thinks they are getting married. really. its sad because he treats her like absolute crap but she deserves it. she uses his child against him to get what she wants (money, attention). and she doesn't really have a clue about me. she's been informed and she calls me sometimes looking for him. but again, psycho... can't get it through her head.

most guys are probably dogs but every situation is unique as some of us have shared. they may be a visit or money on the books from some other girl but he knows who is going home to.

Well my baby don't got no other women but he is still married to his Ex, stupid B****:blah: wont sign the divorce papers.

:cool: But it's cool he will be out in 7 months, we will take care of it then...

Why she got to be all that? could be that you are in your feelings. That was that man's wife and she has the papers. sorry to see that some girls just don't understand, it is WHAT it IS - don't trip cause you see she might have something that you don' really understand just remember that you get my with honey that you do with salt. Keep it real!

Why she got to be all that? could be that you are in your feelings. That was that man's wife and she has the papers. sorry to see that some girls just don't understand, it is WHAT it IS - don't trip cause you see she might have something that you don' really understand just remember that you get my with honey that you do with salt. Keep it real!


If she wasn't a b**** i wouldn't say it of course there is more to it, check it out she was pregnant right or so she said but when the ninth month hit and no baby.. ha thats when things really got out of control. It turns out she was just playing the part so he would stay with her its sad too cause she is a compulsive lier she taught by deceiving my man (Noah) he would stay with her well now that the truth is out she thinks she can keep him by not signing the divorce papers. My baby just wanted to do the right thing he so called married her after she said she was pregnant. Now you know why i say that. I have no reason to let my feelings get the best of me, why? cause i have him with out lies and no baby and besides i wasn't even in the picture yet.

Loving my baby always and forever AMERICAS FINEST Mr. Creeper!!

I think I would say something if it was a good friend that this was happening to but then I would also have to think about getting involved with the drama that would come with saying anything about it. I would more then likely mind my own business unless I was asked then I wouldn't lie. I would hope for the same if I were asked to be given a truthful answer. I guess it's fair to say I wouldn't offer the info but if i were asked I wouldn't lie about it.
dnzswfie

to me it's messed up either way (inmates with other women women with other men while theirs is locked up) and it's cheating no matter what. but i don't really pay attention to it coz i go there to see my husband (well future husband) not pay attention to some jail house drama. i did see a lot of it at collins though and of course Philip (my fiancee) had to tell me all about it.

Hi Ladies, I was just tripping on Mstee ms. I know how you feel, my man was married also. I don't know what state your man is in but in the state of California he dosn't need her signature to get divorced I got divorced and did not need his signature and my man divorced his ex and did not need a signature so something sounds fishy to me if he is telling you he hasn't gotten divorced because she won't sign the papers. I filed my man's paperwork for him and I went thru the whole process with him and in 6 months he was divorced. I would check on that if I were you. good luck
Mrs. Magic

Thanks Mrs. Magic for understanding my situation but anyways no i don't worry about anything cause i know my BaBe loves me and only me hes getting out soon in September and as for his "wife" she finally moved on and will be getting re-married in Feb of 2008....crazy Huh. Yeah after all the bullshit her ass finally signed the papers so all is well. I as well am getting married soon in fact next year in July with of course my BaBe Noah

Tania

Some People Have An Poen Relationship Especailly If He Got Alot Of Time I Know Some Girls That Do It I Wouldn't Mind Someone Came Jus Be Honest That The Bottom Line:d

I KNOW IT HAPPENS AND GUYS MAY GET INVOLVED IN SUCH RELATIONSHIPS FOR MANY REASONS, TO KILL TIME, FINANCIAL CONTRIBUTIONS, OR JUST FOR FUN. IT WOULD BREAK MY HEART IF IT WOULD HAPPEN TO ME, SO UNLESS IT WOULD BE A GOOD FRIEND OF MINE THAT THIS WAS HAPPENING TO I'LL JUST MIND MY OWN BUSINESS. ON THE OTHER HAND HOW CAN YOU FIND OUT IF THIS ISN'T HAPPENING TO YOU? :confused:

I KNOW IT HAPPENS AND GUYS MAY GET INVOLVED IN SUCH RELATIONSHIPS FOR MANY REASONS, TO KILL TIME, FINANCIAL CONTRIBUTIONS, OR JUST FOR FUN. IT WOULD BREAK MY HEART IF IT WOULD HAPPEN TO ME, SO UNLESS IT WOULD BE A GOOD FRIEND OF MINE THAT THIS WAS HAPPENING TO I'LL JUST MIND MY OWN BUSINESS. ON THE OTHER HAND HOW CAN YOU FIND OUT IF THIS ISN'T HAPPENING TO YOU? :confused:



Good Question you just have to go with your Heart_! I Love My Man & I know he Loves Me how I know I don't Know how to explain it but i have been in many relationships and I guess you just know_!

I feel the same way you do. it ist right for guy that r in prison to do that. i do the same thing i wouldnt just go and tell them. but if they come up and ask me yes i would tell them because i'm not going to lie to them. for guy to do that when there in prison it just F*** up. and the guy that do do it just dont give a F***. and the girls that do it even when they know that they have a girlfrieds r a wife those girl r just B**** and hoe's



I think I would say something if it was a good friend that this was happening to but then I would also have to think about getting involved with the drama that would come with saying anything about it. I would more then likely mind my own business unless I was asked then I wouldn't lie. I would hope for the same if I were asked to be given a truthful answer. I guess it's fair to say I wouldn't offer the info but if i were asked I wouldn't lie about it.
dnzswfie

I have a little experience in this. Yeah some guys do hold on to their girl, wifes, whatever for financial reason or just to pass the time so I agree I would only say something if I knew the person real well.

oops

Reading these posts, I see double standards on this issue. Most would want to know itf it was happening to them, but no one wants involved. What a dilemma. i would want to know, so I could stop wasting my time I think, but maybe on the other hand Id tolerate it because I wanted to win the man. No one knows what theyd really do until they get put in that situation, and then the real deal would be seen.

One time I had the unpleasant experience of having to tell one of my girls that her man had another woman visit him. She already knew that it was gonna happen but that didn't make it any easier on her heart. I felt horrible telling her but I made a promise to her and my other girls that if I seen something I would tell them. I see it all the time with others but we don't roll together so it's really not my business.

Reading these posts, I see double standards on this issue. Most would want to know itf it was happening to them, but no one wants involved. What a dilemma. i would want to know, so I could stop wasting my time I think, but maybe on the other hand Id tolerate it because I wanted to win the man. No one knows what theyd really do until they get put in that situation, and then the real deal would be seen.

well i know for sure that even though T & I have been together for a long time & i truly love him...believe me if I was told and I know it was hugging & kissing going on (meaning it wasnt a sister or daughter) I would definately be finished. this isnt a fun journey and I dont think that any woman should let themselves be mistreated or disrespected in prison...or NOT. So with that said my T is ASP on 2 yard, get at me if you've ever seen ANYTHING crazy. He better know better.

I agree with you on wanting to know so not to waste ones time and also no one really knows what one would do until in that situation then the real deal would be seen. I don't however see how I could take such a thing as another female visiting just to win the man. That would be me having to settle for the disrespect and his un appreciative a** by having another woman visit him. There isn't anything I am willing to lose (my self-respect to name one!) just to win the man. There are plenty of men out there and who are not in prison to have to put up with such crap and accept such a lack of respect. If he's not able to give you the love and respect when they are in prison which having another woman visit then how the heck do you think they will be once they are release. I wouldn't put up with that and let the other woman keep the loser. She would be doing me a favor. Let the other idiot pay for the packages, pay for all the things the idiot needs while in prison, pay for the gas to drive to the prison, and take the time we all do. Actually the dumb a** woman who would put up with that crap is not only doing me a favor they would also be taking with them the finacial burden a prison stay costs. Let them have it cause' I wouldn't put up with another woman just to win the man period!! That's just how I feel about that and no disrespect to you for you in any way shape or form. Take Care and you shouldn't put up with such behavior just to win the man cause' you end up losing in the end if it were to really happen to you. ;)

Reading these posts, I see double standards on this issue. Most would want to know itf it was happening to them, but no one wants involved. What a dilemma. i would want to know, so I could stop wasting my time I think, but maybe on the other hand Id tolerate it because I wanted to win the man. No one knows what theyd really do until they get put in that situation, and then the real deal would be seen.

I wholly agree that a decievin' dude is a blight on the planet, and a gal who is knowingly runnin' with a guy behind his girlfriend's back is gonna regret it, if not now then soon... when it's HER he's lying to.
BUT... Just because you SEE one guy getting visits from more than one woman does not mean there's any deception going on... My WEHI has several female friends and relations that visit now and then, and the other gal that visits regularly is one of my dearest friends, I regard her as the best gift he ever could have given me. There's no jealousy between us, we both know exactly where we stand, with him and with each other.
No call to assume the worst if you don't know the details of a situation.

Please dont misunderstand me. I dont agree with disrepect either. I actually agree with Dnzswfie on some points. But... heres the flip side: What IF the person matched you and complements you in the most complete way that you have ever felt? Sure there are lots of other fish in the sea so to speak, but not all connections are equal. Does that make sense? So depending on the situation and if you are put in that place, then only what you will do will then be seen.

If someone asks... I'll tell, otherwise I mind my own business. If I were to ask, I'd want to be told the truth but I wouldn't appreciate it if someone came up and volunteered info. Truth be told, it is usually the guards who do the "busting". They enjoy the drama!

Hi I've had to re-read what you wrote as I can say I really don't understand the point you were trying to make here but I'm going to respond as best I can. Please clarify what it is you are trying to say or the point being made here.
Anyways, I agree with one finding that partner who complents the other more so then anyother has done before but I must say if one has been so fortunate to find such a partner beyound compare that matches & complements you like no other then there shouldn't be even an issue of any other women. You would be aware if any other female did in fact visit and be secure with your relationship not to have any problem with it. You wouldn't have to find out anything since having found such a companion who is like no other he wouldn't do that to the one he loves and loves without conditions. He wouldn't be dishonest so there wouldn't be a need to put up with such b.s. that competing to win a man who had another woman visiting. I do agree that there are men out there who do respect and love thier woman, and that there are trusting, loving, caring relationships. where men aren't just plain a**h**** who mistreat thier woman. I did however comment on what was written below underlined in red.

"Reading these posts, I see double standards on this issue. Most would want to know itf it was happening to them, but no one wants involved. What a dilemma. i would want to know, so I could stop wasting my time I think, but maybe on the other hand Id tolerate it because I wanted to win the man. No one knows what theyd really do until they get put in that situation, and then the real deal would be seen."

I wouldn't put up with the B.S just to win the man at all. But if one has found that special someone who loves and respects them then this wouldn't even be an issue at all period. There would be Trust, Respect, And Unconditional Love between the two. This kind of crap wouldn't even be an issue with them and wouldn't ever come up since they would not just think of themselves. My marriage has had to wave some big storms thought out our 6 yr. marriage and be them good or bad I had a choice to stay or leave but never ever would I give up more of myself then I was willing to lose or more could afford to lose. I would have to ask myself is this relationship taking more away from me as a person that I know I am and more then I can afford to lose I wouldn't pay such a high price it isn't worth losing myself for a relationship that isn't giving me back what I'm giving. I'm glad I've never had to go there but if I were put in a situation like that I wouldn't put up with such disrespect of having to compete with another woman to win a man who isn't worth my time, my efforts, or My Love. If a relationship is going to take more from me then I can afford to lose then I'll cut my losses before I end up just settling for what ever it is I'm being given. Not Happenig here. Just remember the bruises and scars do heal and eventually fade but the scars that you don't see are the ones that are hardest to heal and never completely do. No woman should ever have to deal with that crap from thier guy period and if it happens to come about then they should love themselves more to leave and never look back. His loss and his stupidity for letting you go. Take Care and God Bless.
Dnzswfie :thumbsup:


Please dont misunderstand me. I dont agree with disrepect either. I actually agree with Dnzswfie on some points. But... heres the flip side: What IF the person matched you and complements you in the most complete way that you have ever felt? Sure there are lots of other fish in the sea so to speak, but not all connections are equal. Does that make sense? So depending on the situation and if you are put in that place, then only what you will do will then be seen.

Dnzswfie:
Not trying to get too off point here, but in my situation with my friend, Ive been put in some unique situations. That is why he is just my friend right now. Because he put in very uncomfortable situations. I dont know if this was a test or some other perverse issue, but Ive been there. And I kinda just hung back when he did this. I wasnt happy. In fact if I could have just shaken him a time or two I would have. The point is: if they leave and then come back to you, it was meant to be. If they never do, they never were yours in the first place. My friend tells me, you cant cage someone you love, they must be free to stay or go as they choose, not you.. And some times they need to go into life to learn what they have to appreciate it. But there is also a point where this behavior is actual disrespect and then the issue is completely something else. Then I would want to know so I could cut my losses. That is why I beleive it is so hard for some people, me included to be secure while our loved ones are locked away from us, because we dont know for sure what they are up to. all we have is their word.

If I didn't trust my man I would just ask my him to get the form of who is approved to visit him, that's all anyone can do. And as you all know the inmates have to send out the forms to whoever he wants to get visit from, so basically in this case it's the inmates fault not the other women.

Happy's girl, your so right, way back in the days when i first started writting and visiting my now husband, I asked who else was visiting, and sure enough he sented me a print out from records on who was appoved and visiting, and your also right about him having to sent out the forms to all of us, so the imated are aware......

I know a lot of people have said this already...but it isn't always deceit on the man's part. When my guy and I were sort-of-off-again, another woman was visiting him. I knew, she knew. I was okay with it, because like I said, we were sort of off again. But when I visited, it sure didn't LOOK off again! I was fine with the arrangement...she wasn't. She knew the deal from the get-go, but she wasn't okay with it. They didn't last, and we got back together. My point is, all parties involved knew what was going on...and although a few people came up to me after the fact and welcomed me back, I would have been embarassed if they'd approached me while the whole thing was going on.

I think it's better to not get involved, unless you are truly friends with the woman you're concerned for. And even then...be sure you know of what you speak!

I personally would look at the inmate differently, He knows if he has a devoted wife or girlfriend standing by him, or the other hand the other woman may not know that!

I'd mind my own buisness and I have recently been in a situation like that. I was unable to visit my husband for about 3 yrs., and just as our men know whether or not they have a devoted wife, we as women also know our "MAN", and what ever is done in the dark always comes too light. I'd rather hear it from my husband ( just as I did) then someone else. Hear say creates a whole lot of drama. Although, when I first went to see him it was actually a few of the C.O's who kind of gave it up, but I wasn't surprised. Our first visit was a phone visit and I just told him,"OOH... :mad: when you get off lockdown you better not even think about kissing me!" But once we got that first contact visit(and it was actually way more then 3 yrs that we even got to TOUCH each other)I wasn't even thinking about nobody else but us :p.

I'd mind my own buisness "BUT" if someone saw my man with another female (or heck now er dayz) or male :eek:, huh...Tell me, cause I surely wouldn't want him kissing on me.

Exactly...I agree with you. What if you were the 'other' woman? (a general question for anyone.) You never know. These guys can be pretty good at their con if that's what they want to do. I'm sure the women who are being conned have absolutely no idea about it. It makes me sick when I think about it. It's very, very wrong. I would want to know.

I would mind my OWN business, you never know what type of arrangement he and the Wife/girlfriend have. I know my husband has other women that see him and they are friends, that would love to take my spot. But they can only take my spot if I leave, and I am not leaving and only thing he is interested in is just company. So I don't mind, so if someone were to tell me about a visit I already knew about I would be a little bit miffed, cause it really is just between us. Now if there was spit swapping that would be another story!

Rather ive seen men cheating with other woman or not, Its none of my busines!!!! I say people need to start minding their OWN business... Business Mind It ..... :thumbsup: :thumbsup:
On a personal note: If a person wants to cheat, then its on them and the other party. I personally think its wrong, for anyone rather your incarserated or out in the streets to cheat on someone who you "Supposedly" say they love. Im not one to judge, however maybe they have an open relastionship, maybe they are just together for the kids. For those woman, who dont know their men are cheating (No Offense Personal Opinion) is straight out STUPID for them not to know there men are cheating... Use COMMON SENSE... Who knows and honestly, I can care less. I think its being noisy bodies who get involved and start pointing the finger and start to tell the wives..

i know people should mind their business... but in my case i would want someone to tell me regardless.. and i wouldnt get mad at that person for saying anything to me.. because in my eyes they are just keeping an eye out and trying to stay on top for me.. my man is gonna be down for 9 years and i know there are times where im not gonna be able to see him every weekend like im used to and somebody else might.. his parents arent in the picture.. just 2 of his girl cousins and i speak to them very often so they tell me that they are going, but usually they ask to go with me so they wont take my visit.. so besides them and myself there shouldnt be anyone visiting my man and if there was.. i would like to know..
and as far as me ratting the guy out to the wife/girlfriend.. well i would first tell my man to figure out the situation with the guy and then go about the situation.. there are too many politics in prison and ive seen it done where some men have 1 woman bring him his "goods" and still have his wife/girlfriend on the side.. so if you get between that.. then most likely your man will have to pay for it..

i know people should mind their business... but in my case i would want someone to tell me regardless.. and i wouldnt get mad at that person for saying anything to me.. because in my eyes they are just keeping an eye out and trying to stay on top for me.. my man is gonna be down for 9 years and i know there are times where im not gonna be able to see him every weekend like im used to and somebody else might.. his parents arent in the picture.. just 2 of his girl cousins and i speak to them very often so they tell me that they are going, but usually they ask to go with me so they wont take my visit.. so besides them and myself there shouldnt be anyone visiting my man and if there was.. i would like to know..
and as far as me ratting the guy out to the wife/girlfriend.. well i would first tell my man to figure out the situation with the guy and then go about the situation.. there are too many politics in prison and ive seen it done where some men have 1 woman bring him his "goods" and still have his wife/girlfriend on the side.. so if you get between that.. then most likely your man will have to pay for it..

Just to let you know you can always ask your man for his approved visitors list? He can request it and mail it to you... Just to let you know. I did... I had to see if he was telling the truth...He was.

I just got finished telling someone.

I thought about it for a couple of weeks and then finally decided to just send a short note and all the addresses to each woman. I spoke with his wife since I knew her personally and she knew about his games. She even admitted to getting some of the money they sent. She didnt care who visited, who sent nasty pics, who wrote and who thought there were engaged.

Whatever, at least my soul doesnt have the weight of knowing and not telling anymore.

All I can say is wow.. some women are trifflinnnn, I can't believe she knew and was okay with it....I don't know what I would have done in that situation.

Well in SF county jail you sign in on a note book and you can see EVERYONE else and who they were there to see...when my ex got moved to Dublin it was different I went to do a suprise visit because anotehr regular told me he has other women visit. Sure enough he had another female there but they let me in the same visit I just leaned up against the wall right behind her and stared at him... if he wasn't the most nervous lookin MF'er.. he told her she had to leave. Boy if she wasn't mad... I was young and stupid then and stayed with him because in my mind it was ok because he made her leave when he saw me. Of course he is my ex now because they never change...
I was glad ol girl told me... now as far as the man I am with now *yes, for some reason I date men who end up in jail* by all means if any of you should so happen to be at Lompoc USP and you see a talk black and samoan muscular like 50 cent man with another female.... call me lol.

I've Seen It Plenty Of Times Too But I Mind My Own Business, Sometimes I Wonder How He Keeps Them From Running Into Each Other How He Remembers Their Names.

Yeah I Have To Agree I See It Alot And I Hear About It Alot But I Never Say Anything Eaiter Because I Just Dont Want To Have That Extra Drama In My Life, I Know My Hubby Tells Me To Just Mind My Own Buisness And That It Isnt My Problem That I Am There To Visit Him Not To Judge Anyone Ealse Or Start Drama.... Which Makes Me Wonder About Him And His Morals On This Whole Situation!! But I Didnt Know He Can Send Me A Visitor Aproval List!! Hmmmmmmmm He Probably Wouldnt Send It But Ima Gonna Ask!!

Some of the women in visiting have come up to me and asked me if I have ever seen another woman visiting their man. I guess it is because I am up there every Sat and Sun and am a long time visitor. I don't really know. My answer to that is I am sorry I don't really pay attention and that I don't want to get involved. A few have gotten angry with me but oh well. Our visiting is small and only a very few times have I noticed men with women that I know aren't their significant other. How am I to know who they are and why they are there. I hate drama so to each his own.

I'm sure it happens all the time......yes I have seen it but it ain't my business. I'm there visiting every weekend and of course you get to know the familiar faces and those that are "side kicks" but my business is "my man" not who the other inmates are visiting with. There is too much "prison politics" to put yourself and YOUR MAN in that situation to be all up in someone elses business. You may not know what arrangments the inmate and his wife/girlfriend/sancha have going on. Plain and simple.......IT AIN'T MY BUSINESS. :nono:

As for the visitors list, yes I asked my man to send it to me and he did. Not because I didn't trust him but because I wanted to make sure they removed one of his relatives.

OMG I BE SO MAD SINCE I DONT LIKE NO ONE PLAYING WITH OTHERS FEELING BUT I WOULD TELL CUZ IS NOT MY BUSSINESS !! BUT I BELIEVE ALL THIS SITUATION DEPENDS ON HOW MUCH COMUNICATION YOU HAVE WITH YOUR HUBBY !!! REMEMBER EVERYTHING HAPPENDS FOR A REASON !!

Hmm... all I can say is that I'd want to be told. Can all you who are "minding your own business" make an exception and speak up if you happen to see my guy in the visiting room? Ha ha

Hmm... all I can say is that I'd want to be told. Can all you who are "minding your own business" make an exception and speak up if you happen to see my guy in the visiting room? Ha ha

hahahahahahaha you're funny, and me too :thumbsup:

Well I Am Not A One To Run And Tell, But I Know If It Was Happening To Me I Would Want Someone To Say Something, Because It Sucks For Someone To Be Waiting For A Man When He Is Getting Visit's From Other Girls, So All You Girls Need To Think About That Too!

I was put in this situation, My husband introduced me to his homeboy there, and his girl and I ended up getting close to her after that, at first she and her man were just friends,they had broken up, prior to him going to jail, she qoutes their relation as follows: 12 years, 9 hoes, and 3 outside kids, but they where still cool like that, so he had his baby momma coming there from time to time, it was all good at first til he asked my girl too marry him,then it became a problem, cause the baby momma wasnt really coming that often til she found out about the proposal then she was on player like a member's only jacket (tight):p then she started acting as if she was the president and founder of his fan club,(she all in love):rolleyes: then when she got wind that he wasn't bending or breaking she stopped coming back,so another one of his fan club member's got wind of this proposal also, so she started coming there acting as if he was the next american idol, all on his nuttsack, trying to beocme his campainge manager and s#!t. and damn right I told cause he had no business trying to be a player in prison, that's retarded. So of course my husband asked me too stay out of it and my girl said she was aware of the situation, but she wasnt aware to what extent. If he "say she just a friend" then why in the hell when he saw me he act as if he saw the second coming of CHRIST........ He quickly let his fan club member's hand go;) So all I'm saying is too leta sistah know what time it is cause you end up looking like a fool, and especially to the women guards in there who are already on the sweat mode for your man. and what about the women who come to see their man and HE IN JAIL MESSING WITH OTHER MEN! HOW THE HELL DO YOU TELL THAT? THAT'S SOMETHING I WOULD'NT KNOW HOW TOO TELL , AND WHERE MY HUSBAND IS, THAT MESS IS POPULAR AS WELL.:confused:

LOL YOU CRACKED ME UP. THAT WAS HILARIOUS....
I was put in this situation, My husband introduced me to his homeboy there, and his girl and I ended up getting close to her after that, at first she and her man were just friends,they had broken up, prior to him going to jail, she qoutes their relation as follows: 12 years, 9 hoes, and 3 outside kids, but they where still cool like that, so he had his baby momma coming there from time to time, it was all good at first til he asked my girl too marry him,then it became a problem, cause the baby momma wasnt really coming that often til she found out about the proposal then she was on player like a member's only jacket (tight):p then she started acting as if she was the president and founder of his fan club,(she all in love):rolleyes: then when she got wind that he wasn't bending or breaking she stopped coming back,so another one of his fan club member's got wind of this proposal also, so she started coming there acting as if he was the next american idol, all on his nuttsack, trying to beocme his campainge manager and s#!t. and damn right I told cause he had no business trying to be a player in prison, that's retarded. So of course my husband asked me too stay out of it and my girl said she was aware of the situation, but she wasnt aware to what extent. If he "say she just a friend" then why in the hell when he saw me he act as if he saw the second coming of CHRIST........ He quickly let his fan club member's hand go;) So all I'm saying is too leta sistah know what time it is cause you end up looking like a fool, and especially to the women guards in there who are already on the sweat mode for your man. and what about the women who come to see their man and HE IN JAIL MESSING WITH OTHER MEN! HOW THE HELL DO YOU TELL THAT? THAT'S SOMETHING I WOULD'NT KNOW HOW TOO TELL , AND WHERE MY HUSBAND IS, THAT MESS IS POPULAR AS WELL.:confused:

I was put in this situation, My husband introduced me to his homeboy there, and his girl and I ended up getting close to her after that, at first she and her man were just friends,they had broken up, prior to him going to jail, she qoutes their relation as follows: 12 years, 9 hoes, and 3 outside kids, but they where still cool like that, so he had his baby momma coming there from time to time, it was all good at first til he asked my girl too marry him,then it became a problem, cause the baby momma wasnt really coming that often til she found out about the proposal then she was on player like a member's only jacket (tight):p then she started acting as if she was the president and founder of his fan club,(she all in love):rolleyes: then when she got wind that he wasn't bending or breaking she stopped coming back,so another one of his fan club member's got wind of this proposal also, so she started coming there acting as if he was the next american idol, all on his nuttsack, trying to beocme his campainge manager and s#!t. and damn right I told cause he had no business trying to be a player in prison, that's retarded. So of course my husband asked me too stay out of it and my girl said she was aware of the situation, but she wasnt aware to what extent. If he "say she just a friend" then why in the hell when he saw me he act as if he saw the second coming of CHRIST........ He quickly let his fan club member's hand go;) So all I'm saying is too leta sistah know what time it is cause you end up looking like a fool, and especially to the women guards in there who are already on the sweat mode for your man. and what about the women who come to see their man and HE IN JAIL MESSING WITH OTHER MEN! HOW THE HELL DO YOU TELL THAT? THAT'S SOMETHING I WOULD'NT KNOW HOW TOO TELL , AND WHERE MY HUSBAND IS, THAT MESS IS POPULAR AS WELL.:confused:
I'm w- smokeys... too funny!;):D Hmmmm I wonder if we know these women:rolleyes:? :eek:We've seen some drama in our forum to the likes of what your telling here... haven't we Smokeys?LOL!

You got that right D.... To much drama....
:eek:We've seen some drama in our forum to the likes of what your telling here... haven't we Smokeys?LOL!

I think men play games when they can inside the walls. I personally know that some men have many woman, and have mail, money, and whatever else can make them as comfortable as possible. i think if a man can do it insdie with no buck from us, they will continue outside with the same behavior. just my opinion.

I have witnessed it quite often. The first time I saw a this happen I was so grossed out. The weekend before he was with his wife. Then the following weekend he was with another woman. My boyfriend said just to mind my own business, I will see this happen all the time. Well get this a couple weeks later the wife showed up with the kids. A couple minutes later the girlfriend walks in. I thought there was going to be drama but during the visit they all took a picture. I was like ok whatever floats their boat. The wife told her husbands girlfriend that she would leave with the kids so that the girlfriend could have 5 minutes with her husband. I only know this because they were sitting next to us and were very loud. I learned to mind my own business. LOL!!!

^^^^ That's it. Plain and simple.

I agaree with 'over it.' It happens more than you realize. It's called survival and I think they convince themselves it's alright due to their circumstances. My worry is that, like 'over it' said, if they can convince themselves it's alright in there, then what will they be like when they get out. Wouldn't the bad habit already be formed? When one chooses to get involved with an inmate, there are risks to this kind of thing. I was a 'never' person and then I got bit in the butt. No hard feelings because I now get the mentality. I am wiser and more cautious.

i saw it plenty of times and all i can is "scandalous"!! its sad that there are so many girls that don't realize theya re getting played...as much as i want to say something i have to bite my tongue cuz its none of my business. i met a girl at one of the prisons my husband was at and we would talk and she was telling me how she was going to marry her boyfriend...she did everything for this man... well one day i was doing my husbands cellie a favor and putting an ad on prison pen pals... a few days later as i was checking to see if the ad for my husbands cellie was added to the website, i recognized a name...yup it was her fiance!!! i really had to bite my tongue and i felt bad...

I feel silly for even asking but it is a serious question that my husband has. I had looked up CCSP site and noticed quite a few pen pal requests. I told my husband and he was ok with it.


I write to 2 high profile men and we have now been writing for months, I wish for the names to be anonymous. I am sure you all understand. I felt that I wanted to extend our support to others. I have a brother that is in KY (in London KY), recently setanced to 3 years.

My husband is a Jr. High teacher and very loving etc. and the fact that he is willing to spend money to give these men stamps, supplies etc is very generous for him to do. I am a stay at home mom to a 19 month old and a 2 1/2 year old. I will be done with my Master's degree in Forensic Science in April 2008. I hope to help a lot of people with it. I am also a retired teacher, ha stopped before baby #1.

He is worried that if I write to some of these men that if they are married or with another woman that the woman would get upset or jealous.

It seams silly but I thought for his piece of mind I would ask. It is not a romance things as my husband writes too. Thanks.

If you know of anyone that does not get that much mail, I would more than happy to write to them.

Thank you for your time. May God bless you all and all of your loved ones.

P.S.
My dad is visiting and I am asking him how his time was at SQ, for he was later found not guilty for armed robbery. This forum has helped me finally talk to him.

Yeah I would mind my own business for sure. That is cardinal. However I think the guy would be a dick to do that to his wife and a girl knowingly involving herself in that has got to have something wrong with her. I mean arent there enough fish in the sea as it is? Do you have to go after some married inmate for godsakes? Weird!

I am wrapped up in my visit also, BUT I sure see who is with who going back and forth to the rest room, and vending machine room. When it is someone you know, it is really disturbing. It puts you in a horrible position.

MYOB MYOB MYOB!!!
Saying something could cause your guy some real trouble. Plus, she probably has some idea already, and if she doesn't it isn't your problem. The only way I would say anything is if it was a friend of mine, and I knew she was really clueless and was getting taken for a ride. This is the same as if it was happening on the streets. You just don't get in the middle of someone else's relationship because you will - no matter what - be the "bad guy" when it's all said and done. Come on, don't you know they always shoot the messanger? LOL

Yup just MYOB cuz seems to me that everyone knows what is going on and they are where they are and with whom regardless, don't u all think? :rolleyes: :shake:

oh man! I seen this the last time I visited. The guy was sitting right in front of us and when they kissed I gasped! He looked right at me. I was like oh Sh$t & looked away.

I see his wife there all the time. This is the first time I seen this other girl and was trying to think positive (hopefully it was just his sister?) NOPE u do not kiss ur sister like that.



As far as looking around: I prefer to mind my own business but I always try to be aware of my surroundings.

Everyone should mind their own business and not get into other people's business. Personally, I don't have time for other people's dramas. I don't care if this person is cheating with that person or whatevers, all I know is I'm solely there to see and be with my husband. When people get nosy and get all up into other people's business, that's how issues occur.

yeah i've seen it recently..and i do go visit the most two weeks apart so i know the ppl there and who visits who..u know u get to know ppl there, every one is somewhat friendly..and i noticed an inmate who is has a wife, get a visit from a girl on a saturday making out also, and then sunday his wife goes too..i was like babe isn't he playing them...but then again u dont know the situation, and u don't want to put ur babe in a situation...so u keep ur mouth closed.

double edged sword! i'd keep my mouth shut, but if the game playing was done to me, i'd hope someone would open my eyes...........hum

I too have seen that. Men being visited by other women. I think that the wives/gf know about these other women. I think that they just don't care. It's called womans intuition. I am quite sure we all have been there at one point. Let's be honest to ourselves and admit that there is no such thing as the only one. I am not saying that these men are in relationships with these other women, but everyone needs company from the outside. There is nothing wrong with having friends. Some women over look the obvious because they do not want to know the truth. I don't like to get in other peoples affairs unless it is someone that I love. Remember every dog has his day... what is in the dark shall come to the light...nuff said

I would tell because I do not think that's right for someone to be used like that. It might not be my business but I can't stand for some one to be used. Now if the wife or girlfriend knew about it is one thing but if she did not know then she has a right to I could not stand by and let some creep in prison get away with hurting in innocence person. I think that is so sorry for some convict to cheat on some one that is waiting on him. There damn lucky to have us and then turn around and slapped someone in the face like that, Who in the HELL do they think they are.