Today I got to see my pal, Gary, for the last time, I can't even believe I'm saying that. I'm not on his list but I visited my other pal so I could see him too. Gary's brother was visiting him as I left and let me talk to him for a few minutes. He had told me in response to my final letter that there are no goodbyes. I was about to say it today, forgeting what he had told me, and he interupted me with "No, don't say it" The last thing he told me was that he loved me and I nearly lost it. I had to look the other way because I refuse to let anyone up there see me cry. One thing I will never forget is his smile. As I walked away the tears started flowing and I could see the pal I had visited staring at me as I waited to leave. The drive home was miserable. It was raining and I was upset. I'm surprised I didn't get in an accident. If today was bad, I can't even imagine tomorrow when my friend and I go to Huntsville to protest.:cry::(

awwww girl I am sorry Gary and you are in my prayers

*hugs* Strogirl

OMG how horrible you must feel:( I'm so sorry :( *hugs* I'll keep you all in my prayers

Susan

i am so sorry u are both in my prayers

Keeping you both in my thoughts and prayers.

:( my heart goes to you and my prayer will be for your penpal tonight:( vero

I'm in tears over here...my herat goes out to you, your pal and his family. God Bless....

I'm in tears too. Keep it up Strogirl and you are in my prayers!

/Emma

I am so sorry... my thoughts and prayers are with you both (((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))

I am so sorry...:( ((((hugs))))

I am so sorry this whole thing is happening. But, I am happy that you got the opportunity to say goodbye. You should be proud of yourself for having the courage to write someone, when you know their days are numbered.

Honey, if I lived in Texas I would there protesting right beside you! So protest for me too girl!

Keep your head up and stay brave!

Katie :love:

Now that I've clamned myself down enough to type about this with getting emotional, I can finally type out what I went through yesterday. My friend and I arrived at Walls a little before 5 yesterday, we went next door to the gas station to get gum (my subsitute for cigarettes) At around 5:30 we walked over to where the vigil (that never happened) was to take place. 20 mins later I looked up to see the witnesses crossing over and I lost it. I had to lean against the bar that was behind me to keep from falling. I stared at the ground for a long time, with Gary's words "No crying and no goodbyes" racing through my head. I closed my eyes and said a long prayer. When I opened my eyes I did my best to avoid looking at the doors. At around 6:20 (I'm guessing, I wasn't looking at my watch) the witnesses came out and the tears flowed harder and faster. I was the only one there who knew Gary, he had told his family not to wait outside. One of the other protestors who I had lunch with two weeks ago came over and gave me a huge hug and invited my friend and I over to her apartment. We stayed over there until about 9. I got so wrapped up in our conversations that I forgot why I was in Huntsville. The drive home was a slient one until I got us lost from lack of attention but my friend helped us find the highway again. When I dropped my friend off last night, she gave me one last hug. I told her "There are no more chains, handcuffs, abuse, tiny cells, or bad food, he is free, not how we wanted him free but he is still free" I got home a little after 11. This morning I woke up and the sadness I felt turned to anger. I have never believed in activism until now. As I told my friend this morning, It will take a lot to shut me up now about the dp. I haven't been able to leave my room all day, well except to go to the P.O. I'm actually happy that I have to work later.This afternoon, I was shuffling through my letters that I have yet to respond to and I found his last letter to me. I spent about an hour reading it over and over again and now it is soaked from my tears and drying on my desk. He was loved and adored by many and will be missed greatly. I will never forget his laugh or smile. Thanks everyone for the words of comfort, it means a lot :)

(((hugs))) Strogirl

You are in my prayers, girl.....

(((((((((hugs to you sweetie))))))) my prayers and thoughts are with u

Strongirl,
You should be proud of yourself. You make a difference. Hugs.

:( I just have no words right now and when I say I am SO SORRY i mean that with more than all of my heart...You gave Gary the GREATEST GIFT you could, anyone could and that is your LOVE. I pray that this barbaric and senseless practise will end. We will all just keep fighting these murderers.:mad:

I agree this must end! And you are the BEST in the world, YOU ARE HIS ANGEL, and because of what you gave him, he'll be watching over you always <<<< BIG HUG>>>>

Thanks everyone for the kind words. I was back at Polunsky visiting my friend and it reminded me so much of how Gary and I met, since we met in the visitation room 2 1/2 months ago. Everything was set up the same way that it made me sad because the only thing missing was him. Other then that I'm doing okay, it hurts and the pain doesn't seem to go away, but I'm doing better.

I am so sorry I do not even have words to express what you must be going through.