Hello, where should I begin? I guess first I should tell you that I have browsed many many web sites over the last year but could never bring myself to join a group or e-mail anyone. I guess deep down if I did it was like admitting that him being in prison was reality. We have been together for almost four years. How we got to this point is a long story and we have a lot to go through until this nightmare ends. He is currently serving 83 months in a Florida State prison. He also has pending charges in New York as well as with Immigration. He was born in Italy and came here at 9 months old. He never became a citizen and due to previous crimes was deported in 1997. Then in 2000, during one of my visits to see him in Italy, I finally told him that his mother had cancer. We were planning to get married in Italy and eventually immigrate to Canada. Well he decided he had to be with his mom and came back to the US illegally. After a few months here he went back to hanging out with old friends and again became invovled in his old lifestyle. To make our long story short that brought us to our present situation.
I guess the reason I decided to write is because it seems everyone here is part of the "system". So, I guess you understand how I feel. One of the hardest things is waking up in the morning and going to sleep at night without him next to me. I'm sure most of you know how that feels. Explaining to people why you choose to stay with him. Lying to others about where your husband is, etc. I am a social worker, I see heartache everyday at work and at the end of the day I come home to my own lonley heartache.
Well, I figured I just drop you a note to let you know that you are not alone. I try to remember that what doesn't kill us makes us stronger.

Bella:

I hurt for you. My loved one is my son but I really do understand how you feel and the hurt you have. It can be so bad for the loved ones of inmates and no one seems to understand their flustration.
When you are a Mother, at times you are looked at and judged because people think you should have done something to prevent your son from being in prison. So, as you can see, it is hard on us all.
Keep your spirits up for both you and him. Things will work out. You both will learn a great deal about yourselves and others as you go through this situation. Be Positive always. At times it will smother you but don't let it. Fight constantly.
We never know why things happen, but I believe with all my heart we all have a purpose here on lthis Earth. If prison is part of that purpose, then so be it. Don't let it defeat you or him.

My prayers and Best wishes to you both.

Donna

Donna, WOW I never expected such a fast reply. I must say it brought tears to my eyes. My mother always told me that you never know love until you have a child. Therefore I cannot understand your pain yet only relate to it. I see how my situation has broken the hearts of two mothers, him and mine. My biggest fear now is not losing him, or being without him forever because I know one day he will come home, it's wether or not I will be able to live out my biggest dream of oneday becoming a mother myself. That is the one thing that scares me the most. He cries about that too, but in order to support me (he's the strong one) he always ends our visits/phone calls by telling me one day we'll both be parents, together.
It was wonderful to hear some support, THANKS!

Hello Bella,

I just wanted to say hello and welcome aboard. I feel for you and the U.S. Immigration seperation issue that effects you and so many others.
I ran into a kid in federal prison that I grew up with in Houston. I couldn't believe that he was doing time (6 years) for "aggrevated re-entry".. He had also been in the U.S. since he was only a little boy.. All his family are citizens but he got in some trouble and did a year in the state prison. After he was released they deported him and yanked his papers..
The problem here is this.. 1) he doesn't even speak spanish but they dropped him off in Mexico, 2) all his family is now in the United States, 3) he had no survival skills down there and I doubt the Mexicans liked the fact that this "mexican" couldn't speak spanish! He really had no other chance but to come back..
When he did.. They were waiting.. He didn't even get a new charge! They just scooped him up and he was charged with illegal re-entry and sentenced to 6 years in the federal pen.. They tell him that if it happens again.. He will see 10 years..

To me.. That is a major injustice.. But the federal system if FULL of "illegals" doing time for no crime this time around..

Hmm.. Think we should open a new forum dealing with Immigration Issues..?

David

sounds good, I'm sure it could help a lot of us dealing with duel problems
Michelle

Bella...
I just wanted to say welcome and let you know that I definately relate to many of the things you talk about. I too work in the human services profession and know how hard it is to deal with others problems when your heart feels so heavy with your own. There are so few people in my life that know the reality of my situation, and that is difficult too. I also relate to what it is to feel your biological clock ticking and have to postpone having the family you want so badly. I am glad you made the decision to not just keep reading and browsing, but to join this little virtual "group." :)

Welcome to the forum!!! If you need anything in the spiritual mode, let me know. I am more than happy to help if I can. ( Letters and such). I know how hard it was for my loved ones while I was locked down. I know how it can hurt. BE BLESSED!! -Lee:)

Hey! Thanks for taking the time to read my story. I read yours last night and again tonight. It's so long for something that seems so harmless. I feel for you and I hope that things work out the best for you both. Mo will be deported when he finally does get out and they say he will never be able to come here to the U.S. I think it'll be better that way actually. He is from Cancun and we lived there for 2 and a half years and he has none of the pressures there that he had here. It's just a completely different way of life. He had lived here for 12 years when all this happened. Well, hope to talk with you more!! All I can say is hang in there! Hope