View Full Version : "You can' t wear that"
roc city girl
04-28-2003, 08:26 PM
My bf is in a medium prison and my goodness!! the way the C.O's treat us vistors is just awful. They treat us all as though we are in a Max facilty. On more than one occasion, I have been told that i can not wear certain clothing. Ok, white i understand because it can be a see through, but come now, if you wearing a camisole or jacket whats' the big deal? if your jeans have an attached belt buckle, and the it makes the metal detectors buzz you either have to A. go change or B. cut the buckle off!! what the heck is wrong with these people?? On one visit i took our son along and he had on an Avirex snap button suit on and they told me he had to be able to get through the dectors without buzzing!! I cried and even spoke with the sergeant and for what?? he told me the same exact thing. No one cared that i drove 2 long hours to get there, i then had to leave and drive 45 minutes into the next town to Kmart to buy my son a sweat suit. OMG!! and the underwire bra thing?? how depressing is that?? taking off your bra and having to put it in a bag? I now wear sports bras. I guess what pisses me off the most is that every time i go someone is going thur some ordeal with thier clothes or something. Some people go in with whatever and then some are having a tough time getting in beacuse the C.O's are having a great time giving us the run a around?? I would just like to hear from other people who have gone through this and how they have dealt with it. I'm fustrated!! to think that i still have a year to go with this BS. all comments and advice are appreciated!!:pissed:
I see this to some degree at every visit. Now that the warmer weather is approaching I am seeing people stopped because the shorts are too short or the blouse/shirt/top is too short (midriff showing - or potential to show) open toed shoes or sandals... In the prison that I visit they have a supply of 'decent' dark blue T-shirts and sweat pants that they offer first - or you can go down the street to WalMart...
You know what? They are not going to change, so we have to. It is that simple. I know that this is not what you want to hear but I am just saying what I think. We can avoid this by looking at everything that we wear and be aware of what is allowed and what is not. I know it stinks! I agree with your frustration - I really do. I know that some women have a specific visiting wardrobe! It is just the way of the system.
04-28-2003, 09:07 PM
Yup... anything clotheswise I've bought lately is prison visitation regulation. I call them my "prison clothes". Brian doesn't think it's funny but I think it's a hoot. :)
I watch what I wear, but I always bring an extra set of clothes if I have any kind of doubt at all. Where Bill is now we haven't had any problems what so ever. In Muskegon we always did--each guard had their own rules and we had problems in Virginia too. Those 2 places trained me in to bringing an extra set of clothes....
04-28-2003, 09:29 PM
I just bought a terrible pair of shoes cuz of visitation!! lol
I hate them BUT no sandles allowed :( so I bought a ugly pair of closed toes shoes to wear with my summer dresses. They are long to the ankle...and Sunday they new UGLY shoes set the alarm off ROFL ROFL I had to take them off and go through. I think next time I will wear tennis shoes and my dress ;)
04-28-2003, 09:49 PM
I always have an extra set of clothes too, just in case... never had a problem yet tho (knock on wood). I did forget this trip that I had my Ray-Bans on top of my head when I went in - it was so bright and sunny I forgot to take 'em off in the car so when I got to the door I just slid them on top of my head and didn't think about it again. Should've known better, they made me take 'em off and put them in the envelope with my keys and license. Actually I'm kind of surprised they didn't make me take them back to the car, but I guess it was obvious enough I'd just forgotten.
Shoes - I was pleased to note on the previous visit that open-toed shoes were allowed, one girl was wearing sandals and was concerned and another I've seen there many times before assured her they'd be OK. So I wore some open-toed slip-ons this trip. I've been watching around the visitation room, tho, wondering if my fave most beloved pair of Bass thong sandals would pass as well, think I won't chance it just yet tho. I'll check out everyone else's feet next trip. So stupid to have to be that worried about shoes!!!! :(
04-28-2003, 10:47 PM
I always take along a extra set of clothes w/shoes for both myself and my son when we visit. And when I go out to buy clothes, I make my choice on what to buy if I can wear it to visiting!! It's pretty sad!! LOL 85% of my clothes ( and my son's) are black. Yuck!! If it's fit for a funeral, it's fit for visiting!! :(
04-29-2003, 06:09 AM
I can say that in NY at the facility I visit me and my son have never had a problem yet with clothing on visits. I don't really know yet what there policy is for the summer about sandals,shorts (for my son) or dresses. So far so good they have never said a word and in county they could care less what you wear because I have worn tank top and mini jean skirt before. I also have see shirts with mid drift showing, halter tops, tube tops etc. Maybe Ny is a bit more lax. He is however in medium. Good luck with your choices I can see that alot of states really give you guys a hard time.
04-29-2003, 09:35 AM
Ok, now you've got me worried about another problem. What should I wear? :D
I bought some new silk button shirts and some trousers. The shirts have no metal buttons, but what about the trousers? Are they really going to hassle me over a metal clasp or button that they can run a wand over?
In some places they do Chris and in others they don't....bring an extra set of clothes you know for positive will pass so you don't end up trying to find a store....(just in case)
04-29-2003, 01:08 PM
I dress on the conservative side. I travel too far and go through tooooo much to be turned away.
FYI, last visit in March, I had on Doc Martin sandals....the COs did NOT say a word about my shoes. I usually go jeans & a modest blouse. They do use the wand on us, and much to my surprise, my nip rings have NEVER gone off (& they are titanium).
I'm wondering what the warm weather will bring out in Texas...it gets sooooo dang hot here....should be interesting!
04-29-2003, 03:04 PM
I also keep a change of clothes in the truck just in case.
Its funny that some prisons don't allow sandals....the guards here ADORE sandal weather......less stinky socks, shoes and feet to smell :D
Not to defend the DOC...but I understand why they are cautious about wearing metal on and in our clothing.....just about anything metal can be used to make a weapon. And as someone else has said here on PTO.......we are in THEIR house so we have to go by THEIR rules....no matter how much it sucks.
04-29-2003, 06:25 PM
Ok.....I'm going for my first visit to a Fed. Prison....and after reading these post i'm wondering what I CAN wear ad what I CANT wear....as far as i know there's no store's around there so I wouldn't be able to run to a store and buy something...you can't wear underwire bra's??? If someone has any suggestions please let me know
04-29-2003, 07:20 PM
Some Prisons Will not allow
a. Pants that are too tight
b. Tank Tops
c. Bootie Shorts
d. Thong Sandals
e. Short Skirt.
And It All Depends on the Officer at the front gate.& in the visiting room
04-29-2003, 10:31 PM
Leigh, it's different everywhere at various and sundry prisons. I have underwire in all my bras and have never had a problem at all, no setting off the metal detector, but I understand lots of other prisons it will... and in reading posts here on PTO I find a lot of places disallow stuff that's fine at the one I go to (just like open toed shoes), and vice versa. Try posting a post about the specific prison you're going to in that state's forum or the Federal prison forum maybe, and maybe someone who's familiar with that particular prison's policies will come along and probably be able to tell you more than you ever wanted to know! Yet another awesome thing about PTO's existence... :)
05-02-2003, 04:15 AM
I always buy everything without any metal on it at all...I check my shoes so there arent any nails inthe soles..I have a complete "prison wardrobe". I havent ever had problems wearing sandals, but i know that they cant be "flip flops". I have only had problems getting through the metal detector a few times. Mostly because of my earrings. Once because I had a dollar bill in my pocket. Like I am going to break him out with a dollar bill! I took Russ's daughter to visit him and we got her son through no problem and myself. But they made her take off her bra, which to this day I dont know why, it wasnt underwire. We put a bandaid on her belly ring and it didnt set off the alarm, but she had on a T-shirt and without a bra, well there wasnt much left to the imagination, but they let her in. Ive only been called once because my sweater was too low cut. I was already in visitation, when the Chief of Security came up to me and said my sweater was to low. I was like, what are you doing looking there? I mean he had to see it on the camera as he wasnt in the room. I think they just like to harass us and actually, I would just love to once ask why the female C/O's can wear white blouses that you can see their bras. Or why in an all male facility there are pregnant C/O's. I guess DOC just gets their kicks out of making everyone miserable! I have heard so many women visiting inmates complain because ya know, you want to look good after all you are visiting and they dont see you everyday.
08-09-2003, 11:48 PM
At our federal prison visitors are not allowed to wear the Khaki colored clothing because it matches what the inmates wear. Also, the no longer use the wand so if you don't clear the detector, you don't get in.
Sandals are fine, but not flip flops. No sleeveless tops or anything excessively tight.
The things we go through....
Ps. My honey told me that he enjoys looking at the different colors people wear while we are visiting. He told me that all he sees is the color khaki and the bland uniforms the officers wear everyday.
08-10-2003, 07:32 PM
Mrs. Joe, my guy says much the same thing... under all normal, "non-prison" circumstances it would probably be plain weird how interested he is in what clothes and colors I wear and how much he enjoys looking at the different colors people are wearing, but that's part of living in the colorless world that they do. The inmates wear all white at his facility so white clothing is not allowed by visitors, and he is so tired of seeing white he never wants any white-colored clothing ever again when he is out of there. Not undies, not socks, not ANYTHING white. :)
How do you clear a metal detector with the hooks in bras? At the facility I visited in Il in April, you first went thru the metal detectors and then they used a wand, over my bra hooks, barrette and something else I had on. It's ironic they made a kid take her bra off because I think it is a rule that you have to have a bra on usually!
08-10-2003, 09:01 PM
I have visited NY and Michigan prisons. I just try to wear appropiate clothing period, but NY did deny me once because my shorts were too short according to their guidelines, so I had to go back to the motel room and change.
08-10-2003, 09:29 PM
You know, ladies, the consolation is that they're so happy to get visits that you could wear a gunny sack and they wouldn't care. Well, you couldn't, come to to think of it, because gunny sacks are kind of khaki colored, but you know what I mean.
Once when my late husband and I visited our daughter in prison, HE got sent back out for having one of those sleeveless shirts on. It wasn't a tank top-------just a sleeveless shirt--------and he wasn't some muscle boy hunk, he was a chubby middle aged guy. Go figure!
08-16-2003, 09:51 PM
When I first visited a prison, I wore a sleeveless baby blue turtleneck knit top and they told me I had to wear a sweater over it because my bra straps showed, barely! Good thing I had a sweater wrapped around my shoulders and from that day on, I always keep a sweater in my tote bag.
08-20-2003, 09:59 PM
I only had trouble one time and it was the guard having a bad day because I have wore that same top set several times berore(tank top with a shirt over it) and have wore them sense but I also take extra clothes and a sweater in with me.you never can tell....
They arn't suppose to wear open toed shoes but alot o them do and get through......that is only i you didn't make the gaurd mad.
08-21-2003, 05:56 PM
do you think i'd be denied if i wear pants that have a small metal clasp to close them? you know the clasp i mean, they're on Dickies work pants? i swear, thats all i own, besides pants w/ buttons. now i'm paranoid. would a button or a zipper set off the detector?
08-21-2003, 09:15 PM
Don't worry about small clasps, that should be fine. I would not wear any button fly jeans, they could set the dector off. I used to wear regular blue jeans w/ zipper, and no problem.
Just be sure to have a second set of clothes ready in the car, just in case. Better to be prepared and not have to change, than to lose time going back to your motel or looking for a gas station and losing out on visit time.