I love Billy with all my heart and I am proud to see him once a week. I'm lucky to have the opportunity. I know that our relationship is going great but I feel the need to re-evaluate my life. I don't doubt that he loves me and I know I love him. I just need some time away from everything.

I want to take a month off from work to visit my grandma who lives out of state. I think it would be a great time to get my head on straight. I'm sure that Billy won't like that idea at all. For one, because I have to drive 8 hours one way by myself. For two, because he won't be able to call or see me.

He's very protective of me and he doesn't want me out of his sight. I don't know if he will hold a grudge against me if I decide to go. What should I do? I need some time away and I don't know how to explain it to him without him getting upset. Any suggestions? :hmm:

>>>I feel the need to re-evaluate my life<<<

Presenting that, to a person that is locked up, would be real hard to handle no matter what else was said. It would send most guys in obit for sure.

What the statement say's is, nothing is going right as things are and I got to find a different direction. And that "could" include anybody in the present?

If grandma is older, she might not be feeling so good and needs a little help until she gets back on her feet. Get the picture?

Hey Denise!!! Welcome to PTO! Here's my opinion.

Tell Billy that you just need some time alone for a while. I know that telling him you need to "reevaluate" your could be taken to mean that you want out of the relationship. But that may not be the case. So, if you tell him you need time for you, I think he may be more understanding of the situation.

Of course, you could always tell him the truth. This is what I would do in your situation. My husband is very possessive also. But, he also understands that I need my own space once in a while.

I don't know how long Billy is in prison for, but just talk to him. Tell him how you are feeling and why you feel the need to "get away" for a while.

That's my .02 worth.

Tracy

Hi Denise,
My suggestion is to tell him the truth. You need some time to get your self together. Being with someone who is in prison takes a lot of that. Clear you head now before too much builds up, then take time every so often to do it again, and of course don't be afraid to come to the PTO members for help. That's why we're all here, we all need some help copeing sometimes.
Good luck and God Bless!
Cindy

honestly is always best just dont be blunt about it. reassure him you just need a mental health break.. loving someone who is locked up takes alot out of someone.

Call it a holiday ........call it a sabatical.........
It doesn't matter what you call it exactly because you are a grown women and should be able to make decisions and do what you you feel you need to. You are not the one in prison so don't act like you are.

Just ask your self the question would you want someone you love and care about to drop off the face of the earth without an explanation (true or false) or any communication for a month?

Grudges? Either they get over it or they don't. No matter what you cannot control how someone feels or acts. Just be responsible that you give the other person respect.
In respect would be no deceptions.

Denise... I have to agree with what others have said... just let him know you need to take some time for yourself and to be with your grandmother... and if he gets grumpy about it, he will have to find a way to get over it because that is HIS issue... being in a relationship is about being accepting and understanding of your significant others needs... and you have needs too girl, so don't ignore them.... do what you need to do for you... let him know, but don't let him keep you from taking care of yourself...

I also agree with the others. If you need to take this time off for yourself, then just make that clear to him. This might be in his advantage too. Because if you keep wondering around with the issues or the feeling that you need to get straightened out, it might turn out more bad...

DENISE-MY ADVICE IS DO WHAT YOU NEED TO DO FOR YOU. I THINK PRISON MAKES MEN WHO WEREN'T INITIALLY POSSESSIVE POSSESSIVE AND THOSE THAT WERE ALREADY POSSESSIVE WORSE!! THE POINT IS, ALL YOU OWE HIM IS THE TRUTH. I DONT THINK YOU HAVE TO MAKE UP EXCUSES OR CONCOCT SOME NICE SOUNDING REASON. JUST TELL HIM WHAT YOU TOLD US. IT IS EASY FOR PEOPLE IN PRISON TO BECOME SELF-CENTERED AND NOT ACKNOWLEDGE THE NEEDS OF THEIR LOVED ONES ON THE OUTSIDE. JUST TELL HIM YOU NEED TIME AWAY , NOT TIME AWAY FROM HIM, BUT TIME AWAY FROM THE "OVERWHELIMGNESS" OF LIFE RIGHT NOW. HE MAY NOT LIKE IT AT FIRST BUT IF HE LOVES YOU HE WILL UNDERSTAND. GOOD LUCK!!

It's always good to take the time out to clear your head. A month isn't a long time, you've gone longer than that for him so he has to be fair. Even though he's incarcerated, you still have a life in the outside world. Can he send letters instead?

YOU ARE LUCKLY I ONELY CAN SEE MY MAN ONCE A MONTH!

THESE GIRLS, AS ALWAYS, (AND BRAY TOO) ARE CORRECT ABOUT THIS SITUATION.... BE HONEST, BUT TACTFUL... CHOOSE YOUR WORDS.... DON'T HURT HIM INTENTIONALLY, BUT LET HIM KNOW YOU NEED A BREAK AWAY FROM THE TOTAL SITUATION TO LET YOUR MIND REST...


MY LOVE
DONNA

Thanks to all of you. You have given me some GREAT advice. I haven't decided yet what I'm going to do or say. I know that he loves me and if he does get upset, he'll get over it. He always does.

Hugs to all,

THAT IS SO TRUE AND SOMETIMES YOU NEED TO THING ABOUT YOUR OWN MENTAL HEALTH TOO..