For all of those who are white females with husbands and boyfriends who are black and who are serving time. What are some ways you have expressed to your family and friends who think you should stick to your own race and find someone who isn't serving time. I get the response on why don't you date someone who is free and why waste your time on someone who can't give you what you need while locked up. Then they give me that "look" when I have told them them that Damon is black and I get the feeling they aren't really into me dating outside my race. Any ideals on how I can be "me" and still be accepted by others? Also do you run into black women who get upset that you are seeing black men, acting like we are taking their men away from them?

I guess Ive been real lucky when it comes to my family amd my husband...but it hasnt always been like that. There was a time that my family was really against me being with a black man, and told me that if I ever had black children, they were not allowed in their house. Well guess what, I have 2 beautiful children that are mixed and they are my parents whole entire world. I guess you just have to let them know that you are grown, and that you are going to be with who you want, and it will make everyones life alot easier if they would just accept it because your gonna do it anywase. About the other question, I havent had too many problems with black women. Theres always gonna be some though that do not like to see black and white together, but theres also white women that feel the same way...its all ignorance!

I am over 18.

I pay my own bills.

My response would be mind ya business!

I'm lucky enough to not have that problem though!

:thumbsup:

I have dated other guys outside my race so my family kinda expects that of me. The only person that really had a problem with one of my past boyfriends was my grandmother but I mean she's in her 80's and was raised and lived in the "old school" but once she got to know him, she was fine. Sam and I have not really put the titles of boyfriend and girlfriend on one another. Its kinda just understood at this point. My mom know's I like him but not much more and a few friends know about the extent of our relationship and they're cool with it.

My response to anyone who disapproves is, and always has been, if you don't like it then that's your problem, not mine. They either accept the relationship or they get out of my life. If they can't be happy for you and with you then they aren't worth the effort.

Rose

What bothers me are the girls, not only white, that goes for only black men. Growing up, I've came across women who break their necks to look at a black man, regardless if they are good looking. And these girls usually end up tramping around with any black man that is around even if they are already involved. I have a few friends that are that way, I am so ashamed to admit that.

This reminds me of a story of an ex-friend of mine, we were driving and she noticed a black man in a car a few spaces away from us. She asked me to speed up as she was breaking her neck, talking about he looked good. When we came up upon the car, it ended up it was a black dog. I cracked up laughing.

I try not to see a person for their color, but more for their personalities. Because I have come across some fine a** black men but with the nastiest attitudes, and some not-so good looking men but their personalities more than make up for it.

I live in a seriously racially divided area. I have known black women who flip over white women and black men. If you have a bi-racial child, you can bet the farm no white man will have anything to do with you. They still burn crosses around here. Hell, we even made the Oprah show a few years ago. My brother finds out about Tyree, he'll probably be the one pouring gas on it. My boys were raised in the city, with every race, and they know the difference is good or bad, and race or gender or religion has nothing to do with it. I never subscribed to any paticular theory and accept everyone. They call my one boy "White Chocolate".

The first thing Jason asked me when he first came to live with me was if I had ever been with a black man. Then Tyree asked me that a few weeks ago. I told him no and he asked why. I told him the opportunity just never arose. I have been married 20 years and waited for Jason for 5.

I told him I didn't care about his color. Then he told me he was Muslim. I said, "I love learning about other religions". That is just one of my things. It fascinates me. I study other religions. I believe in the story of the Tower of Babel, and we all pray to one God, just in different ways.

Anyone who knows me knows I will do what I damn well please anyways, so most of the time they don't bother me. I figure if they don't bother calling to see if we're still alive, they have absolutely no damn say in my life and how I choose to live it.

I have two best friends that are bi-racial. The one, we call ourselves a black and white cookie. The other has been living with a white man for 20 years. It takes all of us to make the world go round.

He is half my age and very mature. More mature than I am:)! I haven't even seen him yet. But, he has already seen through that part of me that I try and hide. He is the first man in my life to even bother trying. He is so sweet and kind. He thinks I am beautiful and doesn't want me to lose weight. How in hell could a woman not love that? The package doesn't matter at all. All I have ever wanted in my life was for a man to bother and to actually look at me, all of me. Love comes in all forms.

The world is a kaleidascope and it has always been my favorite toy.

Im A Black Female And I Personally Have No Prob With The Whole Black And White "thing". I Know The Feeling To Love Someone With All Of Your Heart, And I Feel That Love Has No Boundries. I Do However Totally Understand Where Other Black Females Are Coming From When They Disagree Of This Subject. They Feel As If Our Men Are Eithr Gay, Locked Up, Or With A Whit Woman. So Thier Question Is "who Do We Have Left"? This Is A Tough One Because I Understand Where Both Sides Are Coming From. I Do Commend The Females Who Stick By Thier Man Despite Negativity That They Receive From People Who Jsut Dont Understand That Love Conqurs (sp?) All
Big Ups To All Of You :)

Nobody has really said anything at all. My family knows that it's not going to do any good to say or do anything. I do what I want when I want and have pretty much been that way my whole life. I believe in ONE RACE....THE HUMAN RACE....something of which we are all a part of. I pray that one day racism will be a thing of the past. Something that our great grand children can say...."I was told that it used to be....." We all live on this earth, I may live in one part of the country and you in another....but we are all humans and we all want peace on earth....Wouldn't live be wonderful?

Lil Beezy thanks for the imput, great to hear from a black female on the subject of white women and black men. Personally I have only been relationships with two black men, I don't choose by race and honestly I don't choose who to love, love chooses me. This time around it was with a younger (10 years), black man in prison. I worked as a nurse at the facility he was incarcerated in. This was a situation that I never could even imagine myself in, but has been one of the greatest blessings that I have been given. We honor each other, compliment each other, the difference in our skin color is only that a difference. My family is very open minded they are accepting, my children have been raised to embrace others for their uniquiness whether it be color, religion or whatever they are accepting. The only ones with the real problem is my ex and his family, but I really don't care they don't pay my bills or rule my life.

Staci

I don't care what my family or friends think and if they say anything rude I say "Do you really think God excludes people," and they shut up. For those who don't...I stay away from them.

Yes some Black women feel I am taking a potential man from them, some have no problem at all. It depends on the person.

I have had problems with family members when I first started dating outside my race. I tried to explain my feelings on the situation, but nothing worked. So I kept on doing what I was doing and eventually my family got over the fact that I dated black men. I didnt/dont discuss my love life with my family ex. mom dad. I feel who I date is none of their business. You will learn to ignore the looks and comments you get.

my family hate me, because i dated black men, and my baby is black, i dont have any negative response from friends and never had problems with black women, i guess it helps anyway that i live in a very multi-cultural are Sheffield, England

My mother has a problem not with the race issue but the prison issue. She will not even talk to me about my fiance. I only see my father on holidays or birthdays. My sister and I talk all the time about our relationships. Her bf moved to another state so we have the distance thing in common sort of. My children are the only ones I really care what they think and they are totally accepting of my relationship. My parents raised me to look at people for who they are on the inside not on the outside.

Well, my mother and sister are very judgemental in that when they see a guy I am dating (which for the past 6 years has been a black man) they assume he is a drug dealer or wife beater or convict. And some of them have. And some of them haven't. The point is I get really upset when they try to convince me that I am making a mistake and wasting my time. I have no problem looking back and admitting I made a mistake in past relationships. But none of my regrets are based on race. I happen to be attracted to black men. I can't change that. I have not only dated black men in my life and I don't intentionally look away from other races. It's just the way I am. I do sometimes feel the resentment from black women who disagree with IR relationships but as long as they don't try to start problems I don't let it bother me. My husband loves me so much and we are best friends. When we are together it's about love and nothing else. It's too bad some people can't realize that.

You know I feel what you are saying. It's nice to see a Black Woman (and I stress woman) with your attitude! I have only came across a few Black females that have a problem with me. And that was fifteen years ago. I think they are used to me by now! I think they realized I'm not going anywhere! :D

Im A Black Female And I Personally Have No Prob With The Whole Black And White "thing". I Know The Feeling To Love Someone With All Of Your Heart, And I Feel That Love Has No Boundries. I Do However Totally Understand Where Other Black Females Are Coming From When They Disagree Of This Subject. They Feel As If Our Men Are Eithr Gay, Locked Up, Or With A Whit Woman. So Thier Question Is "who Do We Have Left"? This Is A Tough One Because I Understand Where Both Sides Are Coming From. I Do Commend The Females Who Stick By Thier Man Despite Negativity That They Receive From People Who Jsut Dont Understand That Love Conqurs (sp?) All
Big Ups To All Of You :)

People don't understand that. Plain and simple. I don't find men of other races attractive unless they are someone like George Clooney. Someone on TV that I know I will never get very far with. Wait I think Paul Wall is sexy too. But he is in the same catagory as us! :)
Well, my mother and sister are very judgemental in that when they see a guy I am dating (which for the past 6 years has been a black man) they assume he is a drug dealer or wife beater or convict. And some of them have. And some of them haven't. The point is I get really upset when they try to convince me that I am making a mistake and wasting my time. I have no problem looking back and admitting I made a mistake in past relationships. But none of my regrets are based on race. I happen to be attracted to black men. I can't change that. I have not only dated black men in my life and I don't intentionally look away from other races. It's just the way I am. I do sometimes feel the resentment from black women who disagree with IR relationships but as long as they don't try to start problems I don't let it bother me. My husband loves me so much and we are best friends. When we are together it's about love and nothing else. It's too bad some people can't realize that.

Well, I am lucky in the sense that my father accepts the relationship and sees how happy he does make me even while he is in prison he is still the man that brightens my day. My mother, honestly she has never been happy with anyone I have been with, and no they have not always been interracial, but with my current relationship she has made it more then clear that she is not happy, and you know what it's her problem not mine. She has made comments like don't you think YOU can do better:mad: ? I had to put her in her place and say don't you think HE can do better, because he is just as deserving as I am:eek: .. Even your own family members can be real ignorant and this is something that I have learned to just shut them out..:(

I am happy to say my brother (one of my brother's and sister in law) think he is great, and accepts where he is now:thumbsup: . They support us, and just want for us to be happy. I have lost some friends because THEY couldn't deal with it, so they weren't friends to begin with. I really don't get grief from other women and if I do once again it's their issue not mine. You can't help who you fall in love with, and who loves you back..:heart:

I personally love to see interracial relationships be it (White woman-Black man) (White man - Black woman) or what ever other races.In Trinidad where I live interracial relationships are common..... and very much accepted by most.I take it that the US has a long way to go in terms of accepting interracial relatonships though certain parts its common.Anyway after all is said and done we are all humans and love is colour blind!

I just think Damon and I look beautiful together and I only hope things between us only get better with time. Thank you all for your response!

I do not see what difference race makes, what is important is what is in the heart. I have been with every race in the nation and it really does not matter to me.

My family and friends know that I date whom ever I find attractive and gives respect. I have never set out to date just white men or black men. I have been married and I have divorced both. My family know of my man because he is my daughter's father, but because we broke up when she was 2 mnths old (feb 86) and we never spoke again until this year they don't know what to think except that I'm crazy... I just tell them.. yeah maybe, but you know I'm crazy so don't act surprised:p Im 40 yrs old... I don't really care what my family thinks anymore. He's a good man who has made a mistake in life. Wow someone who isn't perfect....imagine that.:eek:

my family disowned me at the age of fifteen because of me dating black men I had my daughter and they wanted nothing to do with her or me. As for problems with black women over the 19 years i have been dating black men i have had problems up until D went back in we still got dirty looks and all that. I have never dated any other race. I am totally happy.

^5 to valentine65.
He's a good man who has made a mistake in life. Wow someone who isn't perfect....imagine that.:eek:

HEY LADIES I JUST CANT HELP BUT TO HAVE MY SAY IF YOU EVER CARE WHAT ANOTHER THINKS OF WHO YOU ARE IN LOVE WITH JUST BECAUSE THEY ARE OF A DIFFERENT RACE YOU'VE GOT A BIG PROBLEM YOU CAN'T LET ANYONE LIVE YOUR LIFE FOR YOU YOUR PARENTS RAISED YOU TO BE ABLE TO SURVIVE ON YOUR OWN TO LIVE YOUR OWN LIFE ,SO LIVE IT AND TO THE FULLEST. WE ONLY HAVE ONE LIFE DO WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY, IGNORE THE IGNORANCE IN OTHER PEOPLE AFTER ALL THE DIFFERENCES IN OTHERS IS WHAT MAKES THE WORLD GO ROUND. I HAVE BEEN IN INTER RACIAL RELATIONSHIP FOR ALL MY ADULT LIFE WHICH IS AWHILE NOW. LOL I HAVE 3 BEAUTIFUL BI RACIAL CHILDREN WELL 2 GROWN ONE STILL YOUNG I HAVE NEVER HAD ANY PROBLEMS WITH THIS WHAT SO EVER, ONLY BIG TIME COMPLIMENTS ON WHAT A BEAUTIFUL FAMILY I HAVE FROM ALL RACES . I LOVE MY MAN WHO JUST HAPPENS TO BE BLACK I LOVE HIM FOR MANY MANY REASON BUT MOSTLY FOR THE PERSON HE IS !!! WE ARE TO BE MARRIED AUGUST 23RD (HAD TO PUT THAT ON THERE LOL) WITH ALL DUE RESPECT IN RESPONSE TO TBABY WHO SAID THAT SOME BLACK WOMEN FEEL WHO DO THEY HAVE LEFT??? THERE ARE AWHOLE LOT OF DIFFERENT KINDS OF MEN IN THIS WORLD LEFT TO LOVE AND TO GIVE LOVE TOO .WHEN I PERSON CAN WHOLE HEARTLY,, OPEN THEIR MINDS AND SOUL AND LOVE FROM WITHIN ,NO MATTER WHAT RACE ,, TRULY LOVE THE PERSON FOR WHO THEY ARE ,,, ONLY THEN,, DO THEY HAVE REAL UNCONDITIONAL LOVE!!!

amen patti. that is so true. i would date a white man but i live in panama city florida and 90% of the white men are country and that just aint me so ya know. but its all about the person and them as a whole not about color. my son is mixed and i hope when he is my age that all this race **** will be squashed cuz we are all Gods people and that is all that matters

I always handle it like this
Well i guess the thing that is important here is, the happiness of the kids and me, so if you care about any of that then you surely shouldn't have a problem with his color or fact that he isn't perfect and made a mistake. that always seems to shut them up.

dam what is color? love is love! i never knew color had anything to do with it.
me i am white. but what make me laugh, is white women/men who bake in the sun pay for tanning, than say oh look she is with a blackman or he is with a black woman.

my sisters are hines 57, their kids are my kids! why is this an problem? my sister gets shit, i get more my husband is a white man doing life. excuse the punn, we are the black sheep. oh by the way she is half pr andd iris lol

When someone tells you to stay in your own race, tell them you are staying in your own race - the human race! I get tons of crap from my family (everyone except my dad, go figure) and I tell them the same thing all of the time, I love him and he loves me. My mom will say she can't help the way she feels, and I'll say I can't help the way I feel either.

KellyAnn,
No worries about what others think... You must first believe this before you can look interacial dating and marriages in the eye. My husband is also black. I get that attitude from black woman all the time until they talk to me and get to know me so i know where you are coming from with that, I'm not excepted by his family what so ever, they have even went as far as having his daughters mother go and tell him that they needed to be together when he came home because they had a family together. Hes excepted by my family with open arms, they dont understand why it is that I couldnt find someone on the streets, but they understand that I am madly in love and dont give a darn about there opinions nor anyone elses. Do you regardless of what others think if they cant except you because hes black then they never really excepted you to begin with.. do you feel me? Keep your head up stay positive and only worry about you and him...

My family is used to it now but they always used to say "Why can't you find a nice white guy?" and I'd reply "Cause I found a nice black guy". People can say what they want but it's not going to change anything. To me it's the same as someone who prefers a man with blond hair or brown eyes or such and such tall, etc. it's all preference. And I don't discriminate on anyone. I've had black women dislike me simply because I dated black men and I know black women who date white men as well so I don't know what the problem is. I love my man- black or not.

when i told my family it was like an all out war but no matter what im with paul forever and if no one likes it fine its mylife i am 28 and its my life so i dont need anyone telling me whats right or whats wrong my dad and my mom dont talk to me anymore but thats life right?

I have not only a mixed race issue, but an age issue AND the prison issue all wrapped into one. My family acts like if they don't recognize it , it will all go away. It took me a long time to mention it to any of them. My neice married a Black man from Africa, so that sort of broke the ice. I think my mother, being in that generation where they still called them " colored" has the biggest problem, but she did say she just didn't want me getting hurt again. Well, I can appreciate that. My man told me not to try to convince anyone, so I don't. It works fine. I just smile and move on. He has had problems with his family and their friends making comments about my being his other mother and I am sure comments about my race, but he is very strong and he puts them in their place. He says he will walk away from anyone who won't accept us. He says it's his life. I am sure I will have more to face , once he comes home, but there are many Black men with White women in my town. I have always wondered why there are not more White men with Black women. Anyone have an answer for that? My guy and I don't see color as such. I see him as beautiful both inside and out. He is the love of my life. He is everything I never had in a man. I have repect for him which I can't say about any other man in my life. I have always been attracted to men with dark hair, eyes, and skin, but never had a relationship with a Black man until now. People are people, and I too, wish there weren't racial issues. I am proud to be the "cream" with my "coffee". I respect the Black women who think I am one who is taking one of their men, but I don't understand it. We are all just people. What has race got to do with love?

Thanks for the input! I've always wanted to know what what the black women thought. Personally I have always had black women as friends. The town I live in...it is very common but a lot of the A-A females don't like it b/c like tbaby said...they think we are taking the good ones. Not all of us get lucky and find a good man...black or white. I have been with my fiance for going on 7 years now and haven't really had any trouble. I stick by my man b/c I love him. No one could ever come between us!



Im A Black Female And I Personally Have No Prob With The Whole Black And White "thing". I Know The Feeling To Love Someone With All Of Your Heart, And I Feel That Love Has No Boundries. I Do However Totally Understand Where Other Black Females Are Coming From When They Disagree Of This Subject. They Feel As If Our Men Are Eithr Gay, Locked Up, Or With A Whit Woman. So Thier Question Is "who Do We Have Left"? This Is A Tough One Because I Understand Where Both Sides Are Coming From. I Do Commend The Females Who Stick By Thier Man Despite Negativity That They Receive From People Who Jsut Dont Understand That Love Conqurs (sp?) All
Big Ups To All Of You :)

hi my story islong but i will make it short as a guy of 23 i went to prison in nj rahway i was small guy 5'6 145 so i couldnt fight so to survive i went to a guy for protection well over the three years i was there i fell in love with him so much i became too feminine in prison my wife was shocked but she was having a affair so she accepted me that way by the way she also fell in love with a black man lol when i was a guy i used to get so mad when i saw a white girl with a black man especialy if she had kids or was pregnantthat i would call them names but since i had my surgery and realized how more masculine black men are than i was or anty white guys lol i realized i wasnt mad i was jealous when my guy gets out we hope to adopt yes it will be mixed lol

hey Again To You All I Married My Baby August The 23rd Just This Past Tuesday Flew Down TO Texas ( I Live In Chicago) And We Did It Woo0ooo Weeeeeee We Are Both So Happy Yes He Just Happens To Be Black Yes I Just Happen To Be White And Ohhhhhhhhhh Yeah We Are In Love Totaly Unconditional Love Now My Family Is Complete We Have Been Blessed By God So Many Times Over I Love My Husband For Who He Is All Of Him!!!!

i hear this all the time!....
and honestly i will not say much about this...
i dont have a problem with mixture...
it is really about the person inside...the love inside...and who ever dont see that..then there life would be as clear and beautiful that they think it will.
dont let no one hate on your relationship....ignore the ppl who hate.
hate should not be apart of our lives anyways...enough stress just waiting.
now i should say more...but i wont cause....................:mad:

I have no problems with black females or my family cause they know whats up I have that I dont give a f*** attitude and they know im gonna stand behind mines 100% I've lived around black folks and white folks my whole life.I've never personally had a white man but to each is own like vanilla flame said im grown and i pay my bills if someone dont like it oh well but they better not come to my face about it cause they will get a ear full mabye more.........

I feel as though i can be with who i want to be with. I have 2 bi-racial children. I am white and my husband is black and we have been together for 8 years. My family absolutely adores him and misses him as much as i do. Hey my father cried when he went to prison. We all love him and like i said here in ny even Upstate it is accepted, people do not say a word to me. Almost all of my childrens cousins on dads side are bi-racial. For me it was not that i was looking for that but i just fell in love with a man that is so beautiful to me and he made my family complete, he is my very best friend and soulmate and i would not trade him for all the money in the world.

After all this time you would think that it would be accepted, well in some cities it's still a big "no,no" but to me it's a challenge. I have 3 beautiful kids from a black man and I adore him no matter what, I really never payed attention to his color until someone else pointed it out to me and it had to be someone from my own family, I was like "really, never noticed" joke. But I wouldn't trade him for the world because he is my world I have been with him for over 20 years and we have so much history behind us that other people that are looking from the outside In wouldn't understand because believe me people do notice when we are together. When up there visiting him and we say our hellos and goodbyes, me and him don't do nothing but giggle because as Tupac would say "all eyes on me", but it's great and no one could ever change anything because it's me and him against the world, another Tupac saying. oh yeah and our baybays. :)

OK, so you like alot of us are attracted to someone with a different amount of melanin in their skin. LOVE, real love doesn't see color.you have to look at those who comment and smile, because they are showing their ignorance that your man is a real man. his situation is just not what most would like to be in. I have been there and shunned by "friends" and told I should live my life and forget about Travis... I ahve heard all of the stories about him being an incarcerated black man. Well it is his soul and his person I love, not the situation he is in. So keep your head high and know that if it is true to you leave it alone.

I can relate to you girl. My mother doesnt like that I lived with a blk male. I had kept it from her for 2 yrs. We got arrested together me and my b/f and I never heard the end of it from her. She always throws it in my face like I told you there no good they only use white girls. But I told her he never used me I did what I did cause it was my decision. He always tried to keep me out of the bad things. But know she tells me to never date out of my race again. So thats why I never talk to her because she only wants to critisize me. So I feel you all day if you ever want to chat email me.

I never cared and never will care what others have to say about it.
I've bumped heads with people about it sometimes because they always have something to say. Off course the narrow minded point of view gets me mad.
I just tell them "listen, it's not your hapiness, it's not your joy, it's not your problem"

But them again I mean I'm Spanish, so it might still be a little different

hey All Just Stopping In To Touch Bases Javlin I Love That Pic Its So Sweet The Look In Both Your Eyes To Everyone Thats In An Interracial Relationship If You Take The Time To Worry About What Anyone Thinks Your Wasting Precious Moments Live Your Life For You And Be Happy Lifes Too Short For The Bs If We Worried About What Others Thought We Wouldnt Get Anywhere God Bless And Stay Safe!!!!! I Miss My Baby!

MY TAKE ON THIS IS FORBIDDEN FRUIT ALWAYS TASTES THE SWEETEST.....LOL...AND IF I WAS RAISED BEING TOLD "STAY WITH YOUR OWN KIND" I MADE SURE I WENT AS FAR OUT OF THE BOX AS I COULD TO FIND MY SOULMATE .....SO HE IS A LITTLE DARKER THEN MY PARENTS IMAGINED LOL....AND I DONT SEE COLOR WHEN I LOOK AT HIM .. I SEE MY PRINCE WHOM I WILL LOVE TO MY DYING BREATH!!!!!

. . . Also do you run into black women who get upset that you are seeing black men, acting like we are taking their men away from them?
I would think if a person is happy within their own self that it would not matter to them who the person next to them is with. That's enough to make me wonder is it really the interracial aspect that p i s s e s off those women or is more that they lack personal happiness.

The numbers of these black women who are disturbed by those relationships are drowned by the number of white men who hate on those relationships. But people don't talk about how white men feel when they see a white women with black men. They usually only talk about the Black woman.

My personal feeling is people are a mess, relationships are a mess, so for any two people who can get together and make a relationship no matter what your race or gender -- I AM HAPPY FOR YOU because everyone is entitled to experience true love.

. . . IF I WAS RAISED BEING TOLD "STAY WITH YOUR OWN KIND" I MADE SURE I WENT AS FAR OUT OF THE BOX AS I COULD TO FIND MY SOULMATE . . .
This makes me think about an incident that happened with a white woman and her daughter at my last visit. Children are so innocent. It was the woman, her daughter and then me walking one behind the other as we went through gate-doors going to the visit room. The daughter held the door for me and her mother rudely told her to come closer to her, don't be holding the door for other people, let them hold it for themself.

I felt bad for the little girl (about 6) because based on her composure and expression I could see that she knew her mom was wrong. We went through the last door and the child defiantly held the door for me anyway. I verbally told the girl "thank you sweetie, you're so precious" and then I said under my breath to her mother "that's why she's gonna grow up having relationships with only Black men."

I told my husband what happened, and at a point in the visit the lady dropped a pizza by our table. Me and my husband looked at the child and felt sad because she was looking forward to enjoying the pizza. And then we looked at the mother and said between us "God don't like ugly" and that's why she dropped her pizza, and in an area that we were sure to see it.

hun my husband is black, im white, he was from a poor farming family, im upper income , but we found each other and love. He is an inmate in a poor county in Virginia, where every time i visit, im greeted with stares, things muttered behind my back, etc. Family was appauled at my relationship, but ive stood firm in loveing him and pulling the time with him. The thing i say to your questions, is fairly simple. Let them talk, if your happy, thats more then most peope have. If your love is strong enough to keep you together while your mate is away, thats stronger then most couples that live dailey with each other. And for the guards and officers at the jails, perhaps they are pissed because you found a better man in your husband then you find in them,and they know , if they were on the other side of the locked doors, their wife or girlfriend would be gone with the first loser that came along. lisa

Life is very short so we can only do what makes us happy. So regardless of color yours or his if you are happy count it as a blessing that god gave you. This is your life and its the only one you're going to get there is no rewind or fast forward or even a pause button so live it to the fullest. And if some one doesn't agree with your life and want to criticize you smile :D to yourself and say gosh I am so important they want to stop living there life to come check on mine.:thumbsup:

Hiya! brandi here. My husband is black. We have been married for 13 years. My family oesnt much approve, mostly my kids ( they are grown), and I really do have to admit that with him CONSTANTLY going in and out of prison, it doesnt help. But alas, love overcomes all.
BTW, am new to the site, am finally starting to figure out how the whole thing works. I am in Little Rock, Arkansas. My huisband and I had split up ( I had left him) a lil over a year ago in New Orleans, LA. I miss him terribly, and have been searching for him to no avail. I decided to check with the CDC, and what do u know?! Another parole violation. I just found out he is in Chuckawalla. Sent my first letter on Tues. Am very excited and nervous to hear from him.
I have always done his time wityh him, traveling from prison to prison. I have never had anyone in my corner, and very much look forward to the support this group will allow me. I am on the me
msgrs and am very lonely, so anyone wanting to chat, c'mon down!
Thanx! brandi

My fiance is black. We have been together for almost 6 years. At first my family was very against it, but then they came to accept it and now they love him. Although I do have this one Aunt who can not stand the fact that I am going to marry a black man. I use to lie to her about being with him and everything. It even got to a point when other family members would lie for me about seeing him and being with him. Then one day I woke up and said "She is not going to live my life!" She doesn't have to live with him or marry him. And every since then she has been ok with it. So basically if you give them the attitude that you just don't give a f**k then they will take it or leave it! And if they leave it then you didn't need them in the first place!!!!!

Love is love no matter the skin color. I've dated plenty black guys and white guys, there is more to person like a personality that should matter more than skin color. It's sad that the world is still not accepting of interracial relationships. But who cares what others think. The only thing that matters is that you two love each other and care about each other. In the end, it is going to be you two NOT you two and the rest of the world.

We are a mixed couple and I got 3 beautiful kids. I also live where it is kind of alot of racist people. but they are very ignorant..... I dont care what anyone thinks of my choice.......My family is cool with it. My whole family, and they love any body that I love and loves me back.......Thank God!!!!!!!!!

I find it funny how stipid and closed minded people can be, the funniest question I get from people is "Is it true, once you go black you never go back?" It's like DUH!! HELLO!! I want to say "damn straight!! :)"... but at the same time slap them silly and pray that someone else does.

lisa Amen Girl You Hit It Right On Target Everyone Have A Beautiful Day

...my thoughts exactly! :thumbsup:

Of Course This Is Something We All Go Threw, Well The Majority Of Us Anyway. I Can Understand Where Black Woman Come From With There Negativity Toward Us And About Us Being With Black Me, But They Need To Understand That This May Not Be Something We Chose, This Is Something That Just Happens Meaning You Cant Help Who You Fall In Love With Regardless Of There Color, Lets Face It Would We (white Women) Act Like This Toward A Black Woman If They Were With A White Man Heck No! Just Get Over It And Move On, Of Course You Wouldnt Think After All This Time People Would Still Have A Problem With It Unfortunatly They Do And Its Something You Are Either Going To Deal With And Move Past Or Your Going To Let It Annoy You And Get The Best Of You Eithier Way The Choice Is Yours To Make. I Commend All Woman For Standing By There Man Expecailly In A Situation Like This One, Being Incarcerated, You Have To Have The Will And Strength To Make It Threw Another Day Regardless Of What Obsticles You May Come To. The Best Way For A Strong House Is Threw A Solid Foundation, In Order To Have The Solid Foundation You Must Be A Strong Individual With The Strenth To Move Past Peoples Stupidity And Ignorance.

I don't really have any problems with my family because they know that it is what I want and I am an adult. As far as black females I deal with the negativity all of the time mainly from younger 18-25 females. They are concerned with us taking all of there men I don't ever recall putting a gun to my boyfriends head and forcing him to be with me he is with me because of me he is in love with me as a person and not what color I am and the same is for him. So for all of the people who don't like it oh well it is my decsion and not there's.:blah:

I hate to say it, but my parents do have a problem with it but hey.. I am 26, pay my own stuff... I am not even trippin... They are getting better, I just can't wait until Charley is home and we can show them what TRUE love is!! As far as problems with black females.. I have ran into very few people.. My ex boyfriends mother didn't like the fact he was outside of his race,but guess what.. she loves me til this day! My motto "Live and Let Live," Forget about what everyone thinks, just do you! and what makes you happy!!!!

I am also lucky, I have never had a family issue when it came to my husband being black. (And trust me my husband is African-Jamaican so he
is really dark) My mother wasn't the coolest on it but as soon as she ment him and talked to him she loved him. But I also know that if they did have a problem with it they would have gotten over it because he was the one who makes me happy!

And for the other issue, I haven't had no real big problems with black females, I mean my husband was a "dog" back in the day and if anything I had them walking up to me asking me why I waste my time with him, but I would tell them not to hate, he has two lists one of women who he just sleeps with (which there name is on that side) and the other for the woman he cares about and that has only one name on it and it is mine....It would shut them up pretty fast and evidently I was right because I am the one he married.....

I gave up tring to please my family I never will be good enough rich enough or Duane will NEVER be white enough for them. But I LOVE HIM and that is all that matters to me. They do not live with me or pay my bills go to work for me or any of that so I guess at 32 I can love who ever I want.

(And trust me my husband is African-Jamaican so he
is really dark)
This sounds very funny to me because it sounds as if you're saying he's double black (African black and Jamaican black which is why he's really dark :D). But it doesn't work that way. Black skin comes in all shades, no matter the nationality. Look at Sean Paul and Bob Marley -- both Jamaicans. The model Iman is African and she's about the same complexion as Bob Marley. If she and either of these men were to marry and have a baby, the baby would be like your husband -- African-Jamaican -- but because of the complexion of the parents, the child would not be really dark. :o With Blacks, your complexion comes from the genetics of your family, not from the nationality of your family. :o

I just wanted to share my opinion on this topic.

I am a Black woman with two adult sons. Both of ny sons have dated inside and outside their race. Both have had good and bad relationships within and outside their own race.

The only thing that matters to me is their happiness. I will always love my sons no matter "who they bring home" - as long as that person makes them happy.

My father married a white woman (after divorcing my mother) - I have a bi-racial step brother who's grandparents (on his mothers side) would have nothing to do with him only because he was half black. He is an adult now - but to this day he remembers how he was treated differently by these people.

Love is love - we are all God's children no matter what.

amen Ms

My family has a problem with the fact the my baby is black..before they even got to meet him they hated him..we were together fo awhile before he was locked up and I am still with him, when I told my parents that he got locked up they kicked me out of the house because I am waiting for him..so now I live at his house with his family!

my only reret about being a transexual is i cant give leon any kids

when i came out in prison my wife was shocked and when she found out i was with a black man she went crazy now we are both married to older black men life funny huh?

I married the first black man I've ever dated...my mom hated it she liked to use the "n" word quite offten, which isn't what my man is. She claimed he wore the type of cloths that thugs wear and talked the way a thug would, still to this very sec my mother tries to convience me that I should divorce him while he is in prison (isn't that mean) although color isn't the only reason my mother hates my husband but at the beginning it was the only reason, now her new reason is cuz hes a felon lol

i always run into black females or hear of how they talk about me an him,because he has a pretty well respected reputation around my way an people are jus shocked that he's wit me instead of wit a black girl.They say he's just wit me because i do anything for him an send him money..but tha thing is i dont.He dont even like me to send him money because i dont have it right now an he dosent really need it that badly,plus his moms an dad help him out alot.An they think he's doing me dirty an cheatin on me,when he's deeply in love wit me just tha same as me,so we both know it's nothing but hate. My mom didnt really wanna accept it at first,but when she got to know him she loved him. Alot of people misjudge him becasue he dresses like a thug,an walks like one,but he talks like a well-educated black man. It's really weird..lol.:)

I guess I got lucky with my family. I was with a black man for 8 years and the best thing that came out of it was 2 beautiful children. However, my husband is a wonderful person:D . My family saw that I was very happy with him and that is all it took. They have never judged him for whatever reason. They support me and my husband during our rough time. My husband has always treated my family with respect and when we decided to get married, he did the old fashion ask the parents for permission. I know that there is no one in this world better than my husband and yes I do put him on a pedestle (spelling?). That is where a king belongs, right?

my parents basically act like my husband does not exist. We've been together for 6 years & married almost 2 & my mom just this past sept. recognized my married name. My dad went & met him but only stayed long enough to embarass me w/the usual negative remarks...I don't approve, you'll never be welcome inmy house, etc. I think he wanted to see how "ghetto" my man would act but Vell was the real man & the real gentleman. But, my friends & extended family totally accept him & us!!!!

While we're on the topic....Do any of you get negativity from black females? I have experienced some, comments like why is he w/her or vice versa. Crazy looks, snide remarks, But the wierd thing is that I personally have not experienced this problem w/all black females. My roommate was a black female & she felt like any man I could pull she could pull one to. She never cared who I was with because she always had somebody too. The only time I had a problem was when the girl was alone (no man). It bothered me because even if my man was not with me, he wouldn't be with them either, so why were they worried about it. Either way they wouldn't have him. No Offense intended AT ALL, just curious.

honestly, at the end of the day nothing should matter but how YOU feel about your man! If he treats you well and loves you right! THen forget the rest! Its always nice to be accepted, but nothing is easy! I have learned alot about that, my parents hate my fiance, not b/c he is black becasue i myself am mixed, but i looked white! As far as black women go, well, my hubby is from NY, and honestly up there, there is alot of black men with white women, and i will tell you exactly what my fiance said to me about the whole thing, "their attitude is stank" so, yes they might get upset or what not, but obviously someone is doing something right to get and keep a black man!

Unfortunately my family isn't too happy with my man not cuz he's black but cuz he's locked up. They think I should find someone without a RAP sheet (a few of my family members work in some sort of law enforcement). I doubt they will ever accept him, but oh well--their loss. I can't help who I fell in love with and who I feel is my soulmate. I really don't care what anyone thinks, as long as me and my children are happy. I'm actually in a weird situation where my kids father (who is black) is a CO at a prison (not the jail my man is at--thank GOD). He hates MAJORLY on my man and has even tried to make me lose my job, has called Children & Youth on me and has even tried to "hide" our children from me in the past. He refers to my man as "the inmate" and has tried to turn our children against him (which he can't cuz they love him too!!) Its crazy. However, me being the strong woman I am, have fought him tooth and nail against anything he has done and I always will if I have to. He hasn't won yet. Me and my man have been through too much together to let some simple man try to get in between us.

quote=Vells1&only]While we're on the topic....Do any of you get negativity from black females? I have experienced some, comments like why is he w/her or vice versa. Crazy looks, snide remarks, But the wierd thing is that I personally have not experienced this problem w/all black females. My roommate was a black female & she felt like any man I could pull she could pull one to. She never cared who I was with because she always had somebody too. The only time I had a problem was when the girl was alone (no man). It bothered me because even if my man was not with me, he wouldn't be with them either, so why were they worried about it. Either way they wouldn't have him. No Offense intended AT ALL, just curious.[/quote]

in reply to your comment, I won't say "black women" in specific, give negative looks but some do! In general i call this the "BB" syndrome, "the bitter bitch" syndrome! Just remember that mysery loves company!!! :D :thumbsup:

as far as black women go... it took years for me to prove myself to my husband's family. They weren't very ready to accept me. But there was also an age difference with my husband and I, which made it even more difficult. I grew close to his mother and sisters in time. His mother-rest her soul-was an incredible woman, and in time I came to understand her callousness.;)

PLease don't take this the wrong way - but as i've said in other posts - i find it really hard to imagine why people would care what ' race' your partner is :( It's just really never been an issue (for the reocord - if i MUST state it - i am white / Adrian's black ) but so what ? Surely parents etc should be more conerned about whether their kids are HAPPY and being treated ok ? :)
As i said - no offence xxx

I've been married for 10 years and just don't care what people think. I find it funny that other women in the visiting room stare, they can't have what I've got:blah: so I take it as a complement. They break there necks and I laugh:D

I'm also, a white female who's boyfriend is a black man. My family, doesn't have a problem with it at all, his family doesn't have a problem with me either. I don't have a problem with Interacial dating. as long as it's out of love, and not to act or be superior to someone else. You will often find white women walking around holding a black man's hand and looking at a black woman like they are less just because. that's not right... As long as the relationship is build on LOVE then I don't care what color you are... Just be happy. cause I am :)

Aren't muslims against white people...black power...stick it to the white man?? Just curious because my husband was asked to join.

[quote=cynadream]You will often find white women walking around holding a black man's hand and looking at a black woman like they are less

That sounds like hostility, besides who really cares. People need 2 mind their b-ness, you dig.

Bitter Bitch Syndrome..:( .. I don't think so....I think the reasons the black women act like that, its because of the exact same reason you posted in here....how people don't agree, or your family don't approve.... I think black men should not waste there time trying to prove themselves to anybody, they know who the hell they are... who cares if the next white man do not approve of a blackman dating their daughter ....hello :idea: ....leave their offspring alone and keep it moving...They can easily find another woman where they won't have to go through the BS.

And yes black mother and fathers tend to not want their son's and daughters bring a white woman/man home because they already know when their child do something to piss their white woman/man off the first thing the white female/male does when he/she is mad is call them a N*****.

I am not racist and i love all colors, I am just keeping it real here..i don't care who dates who as long as they are not dating my man. I am just letting you ladies know why they act the way they do...oh and trust me most of you think its also because they want your man and they don't.

So i Quote Cynadream "As long as the relationship is build on LOVE then I don't care what color you are... Just be happy"

Quote:"they already know when their child do something to piss their white woman/man off the first thing the white female/male does when he/she is mad is call them a N*****."

^^^This is a negative statement that adds fuel to the fire we call racism. I am a white woman married to a black man, and the 1st thing I do when I am mad is not what you said, rather I deal with my husband on terms that both of us find acceptable, like discussing our issues. People hate what they do not know or understand, if you assume that what you said is what white people do, you are no better than the next racist, and you don't need to B white to be one.:thumbsup:

Quote:"they already know when their child do something to piss their white woman/man off the first thing the white female/male does when he/she is mad is call them a N*****."

^^^This is a negative statement that adds fuel to the fire we call racism. I am a white woman married to a black man, and the 1st thing I do when I am mad is not what you said, rather I deal with my husband on terms that both of us find acceptable, like discussing our issues. People hate what they do not know or understand, if you assume that what you said is what white people do, you are no better than the next racist, and you don't need to B white to be one.:thumbsup:

If you read my statement right i am telling what i have heard from some black women....I don't give a s*** who goes with who as long as they are happy.

Also.....If you think i am racist for keeping it real....then that is your opinion. It won't change what i have heard so before you try to start attacking and getting offended...you should have read my post entirely.

:thumbsup:

Bitter Bitch Syndrome..:( .. I don't think so....I think the reasons the black women act like that, its because of the exact same reason you posted in here....how people don't agree, or your family don't approve.... I think black men should not waste there time trying to prove themselves to anybody, they know who the hell they are... who cares if the next white man do not approve of a blackman dating their daughter ....hello :idea: ....leave their offspring alone and keep it moving...They can easily find another woman where they won't have to go through the BS.

And yes black mother and fathers tend to not want their son's and daughters bring a white woman/man home because they already know when their child do something to piss their white woman/man off the first thing the white female/male does when he/she is mad is call them a N*****.

I am not racist and i love all colors, I am just keeping it real here..i don't care who dates who as long as they are not dating my man. I am just letting you ladies know why they act the way they do...oh and trust me most of you think its also because they want your man and they don't.

So i Quote Cynadream "As long as the relationship is build on LOVE then I don't care what color you are... Just be happy"

I agree with you on the aspect of black mother's and father's not wanting there children to be with someone outside there race, regardless if your white,asian,hispanic etc... I'm white, and my mans black but I know better than to call him outta his name :) or disrespect myself at that matter, but most of the time when people are angry for whatever reason.. they don't stop and count to 10 and think of the nicest things to say.. I'm not always an angel, but there's just something I don't add to my vocabulary. :D so for all those who are flippin out over diva's post... get a grip and don't take things so personal, maybe it would benefit you to stop... count to 10, re-read her post.... and take it for face value and don't take a twist of it into your own meaning and trip on her!!! :thumbsup:

I just wanted to share my opinion on this topic.

I am a Black woman with two adult sons. Both of ny sons have dated inside and outside their race. Both have had good and bad relationships within and outside their own race.

The only thing that matters to me is their happiness. I will always love my sons no matter "who they bring home" - as long as that person makes them happy.

My father married a white woman (after divorcing my mother) - I have a bi-racial step brother who's grandparents (on his mothers side) would have nothing to do with him only because he was half black. He is an adult now - but to this day he remembers how he was treated differently by these people.

Love is love - we are all God's children no matter what.

Couldn't have been said better!! :thumbsup:
I'm not racist, I'm convinced.... I love me some Dark chocolate, defiantly wouldn't trade him in for the world. :p

I doesn't seem like I'm the one who is offended and I don't care about who is with who either. I read your post entirely and I'm calling it like I see it. We are all entitled to our opinions

I've been married for 10 years and just don't care what people think. I find it funny that other women in the visiting room stare, they can't have what I've got:blah: so I take it as a complement. They break there necks and I laugh:D

lol.. ;)
Exactly.... There's alot of women out there that wish they could have what I got, but the question is do they have what it takes to keep him??
That's what alot of people don't understand.. it's not what you've got or what you can do... It's who you are as a person, and who you are to that individual. Anybody can talk the talk right, but not anyone can walk like we walk or effect like we affect?? "nobody's gonna love you like I do... "

when i came out in prison my wife was shocked and when she found out i was with a black man she went crazy now we are both married to older black men life funny huh?

Shocked eh?? Reminds me of a conversation I overheard while waiting to see my man awhile back, something about being gay for the stay, is that something that happens alot with men and women while they away for the time being??? I can imagine how your wife would have felt, regardless what color of skin the person had... but the fact that it's the opposite sex??? older men?? does that have something to do with it??? huh, I apologize before hand If i offend you.. some people around here takes this way out of context. ;)

As for the Muslim thing. Only Nation of Islam Muslims are less tolerant of whites. Muslims overall are tolerant of everyone regardless of race. I know that most people have a very narrow minded view of Muslims these days but they are some of the most caring and giving people that you will ever meet. My brother used to be a Muslim and people would ask me if he were black. No, my brother has blonde hair and blue eyes.

On the subject of how my family takes me being with a black man. They really don't care as long as I am happy and he treats me right. I was lucky enough to be raised by hippies. Obviously they are open since my brother went on to become a Muslim. He quit when he came out of the closet. The funny thing is that he dates black men, too!!

Also, my aunt and uncle adopted a black girl and a biracial boy both when they were babies who are now grown. My cousin married a black woman and they have a child together. This was before I even thought about who to date. My family got used to the issue of color way before I brought anyone home.

So, I've been lucky. The only thing that my father has ever said was, "I just wish that you would date a doctor, lawyer or indian chief." Basically, he wants more for me than to have to raise 3 kids by myself. He just hates to see me struggle.

I've just had to deal with my man's family. At first they thought that he was just with me because you know how white women are, naive and they let you get away with everything. Guess again, they found out quickly that he didn't get away with much of anything. Then I went through the "all white women have money and good credit." Oops, wrong again. His mother just wanted him to be with a black woman regardless. She and I finally got to talk and she explained why. You see, he is very light-skinned and she is even lighter. When she was younger people used to tease her and call her "white girl." Obviously not a compliment. :( So, she just wanted her son to be with a black woman to "darken" up the family. Weird as it sounds but I understand where she is coming from. Just recently she actually said to me, "I know that he truly loves his kids and I finally realize that he really loves you, too." Coming from her, it was a breakthrough. Last summer she was diagnosed with breast cancer and I spent a lot of time with her and his sister in the hospital. I guess she finally realized that I was a good person and that it was okay to like me. :)

"I believe in recognizing every human being as a human being - neither white, black, brown, or red; and when you are dealing with humanity as a family there's no question of integration or intermarriage. It's just one human being marrying another human being or one human being living around and with another human being."

-Malcolm X

-Yes, he really said this-

I doesn't seem like I'm the one who is offended and I don't care about who is with who either. I read your post entirely and I'm calling it like I see it. We are all entitled to our opinions

I am not going to go back and forth with you about my post. Yes you are entitled to your opinion. You can call it as you see, I did not state an opinion in there, if you are taking as if it is my opinion it wasnt, its what i have heard from several black women. You can call as you see it, its still not going to change what i have heard. I can understand that you don't like it, I don't like it for that fact, but obviously it doesn't change anything.

I don't care what anybody says. I personally have no color preference, it's the man that I fall in love with. I've tried all colors and I found there to be some sorry ones in every color. So for those that have something to say about black men they just haven't run across the good ones I have.

I think a lot of these white women are misguided....on one hand they say that people are ignorant, stupid or whatever because they look ait them weird or they've been disowned. Well, just like you express your "right" to date who you want, your parents and friends are expressing their rights to let you do what you want. Why push your views on them? why call them racist and ignorant because they don't share your views? doesn't that make you ignorant and racist for not understanding how they are feeling? Do what you want, but don't push your views on others.

Babygirl: LOL yes nothing has changed. Not trying to offend you. Truce? :)

Quote: jaspercomp: I think a lot of these white women are misguided....on one hand they say that people are ignorant, stupid or whatever because they look at them weird or they've been disowned. Well, just like you express your "right" to date who you want, your parents and friends are expressing their rights to let you do what you want. Why push your views on them? why call them racist and ignorant because they don't share your views? doesn't that make you ignorant and racist for not understanding how they are feeling? Do what you want, but don't push your views on others.

~ It's not about parents & friends letting us 2 do what we want. We r n't 6 years old. I think alot of people are "misguided", but not just white girls. As far as pushing views on others, it's ok 2 express how you feel, if people are willing to listen, it's up 2 them to adopt your view. Can't we all just get along..haha LOL

OK.... 1 QUES. FOR THE BLACK 3WOMEN WHO SEE IT AS A PROBLEM, & PLEEEEAAAASSE DONT THINK IM BEIN OFFENSIVE. IM REALLY JUST CURIOUS. WHO SAYS THEIR "YOUR" MEN? AND IF MY MAN IS WITH ME ITS CUZ HE WANTS TO BE SO WHY BE MAD AT ONLY THE WOMEN? NEVER EVER ONCE HAD SOME CRAZY TTHOUGHT LIKE THAT CROSSED MY MIND ABOUT BLK WOMEN DATING WHT MEN. PEOPLE CAN NOT BE A POSESSION. I LUV MY BLK MAN NOT CUZ HES BLK BUT CUZ HES "HIM".

AND PLEASE ONCE AGAIN TAKE NO OFFENCE PLEASE

OK.... 1 QUES. FOR THE BLACK 3WOMEN WHO SEE IT AS A PROBLEM, & PLEEEEAAAASSE DONT THINK IM BEIN OFFENSIVE. IM REALLY JUST CURIOUS. WHO SAYS THEIR "YOUR" MEN? AND IF MY MAN IS WITH ME ITS CUZ HE WANTS TO BE SO WHY BE MAD AT ONLY THE WOMEN? NEVER EVER ONCE HAD SOME CRAZY TTHOUGHT LIKE THAT CROSSED MY MIND ABOUT BLK WOMEN DATING WHT MEN. PEOPLE CAN NOT BE A POSESSION. I LUV MY BLK MAN NOT CUZ HES BLK BUT CUZ HES "HIM".

AND PLEASE ONCE AGAIN TAKE NO OFFENCE PLEASE

Hi Lazy,

I don't think anyone here saw it as a problem....Some of the women were talking about why blk women act like they are hating on them because they are with a blk man...I posted what i heard from other blk women because of course i am going to ask when they (other blk women) make a comment about it(blk and wht together)....why do they care who the man is with....so i posted some of the opinions i have heard in the past. and the post up above it didn't take it as she that person cares either ....it sounds more like she is just asking how exactly should more people be open minded with their views when they are not being open minded with other peoples views...I hope i didn't confuse you....

Aren't muslims against white people...black power...stick it to the white man?? Just curious because my husband was asked to join. No Islam is about submitting to allah and believing that he is the only and true god. There are White, black, asian, indian etc.... Muslims all over. So it's not about black power. Yes SOME who classify themselves as Muslim believe black power but that's not what ISlam is about

As far as white women- black men. To each its own but women and ,men please know why your in the relationship. dating a whitewoman or black man isn't a fashion trend nor is it something to play around with. that goes with any and all interracial couples. we as individual races go through so much and then to combine our issues with the other races issues out of pure confusion and lack of knowledge makes things harder to deal with. just know why ur in the relationship and stay on the same page whether the page is white with black letters or black with white letters!!!


p.s. sorry for being all late with a response

What difference does it make what the skin color of a human being is? What color do we all bleed? What is the true definition of the word beggining with the letter "N"? When its not used in slang, or as a raciest remark? Any one ever hear there is good and bad in all races, do unto to others as others do unto you. What I dispise is when a child says "Whats up my N"!:mad: Better to use then "Whats up Dogs"! But of cource this is the iggorance of the society, TV, and the parents.
Ah, yes, Muslims, and Islam, my husband of 13 long years is Muslim, and there is a difference, there are 2 different types of followers, one see white females as "WHITE DEVILS", funny thing is the guy that was like this, a black male, dated my white friend, he was just a idiot, but of course we as humans can be that way at times.
By now you know my husband is a black male, old head, and yes I am a white female, who does not look down on any one because of race. I love my husband for the person he is and visa versa, people don't like it, thats on them, not me. My household is creative you could say, we are a mixed bunch, white, hispanic, and black, guess we are all colored blind? What does it matter, as long as people are happy together............:thumbsup:

It doesn't matter.

Well on this issue I can feel what everone is thinking. I have been in many byracial relationships. I have only been with one white man and he worse then what my dad always thought a black guy would be. I have had bad relationships with black men too. But it's not the color that makes people bad or mean it the person them self.I personally have been with black men for about 18yrs, I love my boyfriend and he loves me It has taken my dad a long time to get used to the idea of his daughter going out of her race, But my boyfriend has chaged all of that my dad fianally sees that he truley loves me and is going to take care of me and his 2month old daughter.. As far as black wemen some don't like it but my best friend and sister to the soul is black.So I say to others don't let anyone stop you from being happy.

. . . WHO SAYS THEIR "YOUR" MEN?
No one in particular.

Example 1:
I was watching a show and 3 or 4 black men were asked how they feel when they see an educated black woman doin her thing in a relationship with a white man. What they said is they don't like it and that they feel like "we have lost another of our good black women."

Example 2:
White racists feel they have pride in "their people", in "their race". So when a white woman, God forbid she's white with blond hair because to them that is like the closest to white purity, takes up with a man of another race, those white racists feel the same way, that "we lost a one of our good white woman to them . . . ."

Example 3:
Gangs are mostly made up of the same race. If a girl from Gang1 falls sweet on a guy from Gang 2 which consists of members of a different race, members of the respective gangs will feel like they have are losing "one of theirs".

So nobody owns any body or any race, that's just something that people say.

For all of those who are white females with husbands and boyfriends who are black and who are serving time. What are some ways you have expressed to your family and friends who think you should stick to your own race and find someone who isn't serving time. I get the response on why don't you date someone who is free and why waste your time on someone who can't give you what you need while locked up. Then they give me that "look" when I have told them them that Damon is black and I get the feeling they aren't really into me dating outside my race. Any ideals on how I can be "me" and still be accepted by others? Also do you run into black women who get upset that you are seeing black men, acting like we are taking their men away from them?

I have always experienced this no matter where i am at.And what black people in general fail to understand is what white females go through being with a black man. Not only do we get the racism from our own families, but most all white people but we also get it from be black folks. So really white girls that date black guys have it worse than any other race, i believe. I have been fired because my husband was black, I gave been looked down apon by my family and the worst is when we go to the grocery store or something and all races stare..Buy you know what I aint even bout to go there with any race because I have 2 beautiful little girls and a good man. As far as your family trippin, I feel like what I do is what I do and if you dont agree move around. All of my family and all of his family dont mess with any of us and that is cool because we do just fine alone. If they cant bring no positive then i dont need to be caught up in any kind of drama. I got enough with my man being in prison.

. . . All of my family and all of his family dont mess with any of us and that is cool . . .
No it's not, but I hear what you saying, but that is so sadly uncool. Both yall parents know they really ought be ashamed of theirself. My heart really goes out to you and your family because I don't like that, and I don't like how it makes me feel to hear that's how they're doing yall. You and your husband just pray for them because yall know and I know that things shouldn't be the way it is, which means all we can really do is pray for them asking that God turn their hearts around.
:grouphug: <-- me hugging your family, I'm the one in green

Props to you hesohandsome, always trying to educate. Even when people straight up are identifying people- specifically black women- by their skin color. If they only knew.

I met my dream man Markus in a weird situation on the streets of Toronto. I was a second year university student looking for a joint, he was living in a park off Yonge street selling weed. I asked him for a hq, we decided to take a walk by the waterfront while he waited for his hookup. We ended up talking for 7 hours, and we've never really been apart since.

He's as black as black comes, and I'm French/Irish.
Imagine me calling home... "mom... I'm in love, but he's homeless, broke and hustling to get by."
Love conquers all. :)

__________________________________________________ _____________________

I think i am going to let this one go! However, I am now convinced that COLOR is always going to be in the back of the white womens mind. In love or not. Does it really make a difference if the shade is lighter or darker?

I think you're missing the point. If colour mattered in love, a lot more of us would be swingin' singles.:D
Skin colour matters about as much as foot size does. In other words, it doesn't.


__________________________________________________ _____________________

I think i am going to let this one go! However, I am now convinced that COLOR is always going to be in the back of the white womens mind. In love or not. Does it really make a difference if the shade is lighter or darker?

I think you're missing the point. If colour mattered in love, a lot more of us would be swingin' singles.:D
Skin colour matters about as much as foot size does. In other words, it doesn't.

I apologize if i am missing the point but im confused why the statement was made about the male figure was as black as the come. It struck some hairs on the back of my neck. I maybe missing the point. what are you saying by it.

LOL ALL I CAN DO IS LAUGH CUZ I SO THOUGHT THAT WAS ME WHO WROTE THAT. MY PARENTS NEEEEEEEVVVERRRRR ACCEPTED IR RELATIONSHIPS. WELL I WAS IN A CAR ACCIDENT 2YRS AGO THAT LEFT ME PARALIZED. I HAD TO MOVE HOME AND WAS TOTALLY DEPENDENT ON MY FAM. WHICH ENABLED THEM TO TRY AND TAKE CONTROL OF THINGS THEY DIDNT LIKE. I THEN MET DONZELL WHICH WAS THE BEST DAY IN MY LIFE. HE ACCEPTED ME FOR ME & DIDNT THINK TWICE BOUT MY SITUATION. HE ALREADY HAD 1 POINT AGAINST HIM CUZ HE BLK, THEN 2 CUZ HE VIOLATED & WENT BACK TO PRISON. WHICH OF COURSE WASNT ACCEPTABLE. AFTER ALL THE SHIT I WENT THRU AND STILL AM, DONZELLS THE ONLY THING THAT MAKES ME HAPPY. I LUV HIM & IF NO ONE WANTS TO BE HAPPY FOR ME THE ONLY THING I CAN SAY IS OH WELL AND CONTINUE TO DO THINGS THAT MAKE ME HAPPY NOT ERYONE ELSE.

I apologize if i am missing the point but im confused why the statement was made about the male figure was as black as the come. It struck some hairs on the back of my neck. I maybe missing the point. what are you saying by it.

Actually, after thinking about it I think it's me who should probably apologize. I guess it must be part of that thing we all know exists and all hate, white privilage. That means that as a white woman, I don't even think about how my comment about my bf's skin colour could affect someone else. Particularly when there's no context added. On the outside looking in, I can see how it's a weird and uncomfortable statement. For that I'm sorry.:o

In fact, I find him so utterly beautiful I am in awe of him. He can't be with me where I am right now, but we write and talk often. It's been 3 years and I still marvel at how this wonderful man came into my life. :D
I wouldn't change a thing about him.

Thanks lil beezy! i am with snowbaby on that. It is nice to hear a black women say she don't mind it. When me and my man got together 3 years ago alot of his ex's and female friends he use to have were talking crazy cuz he is with a white girl now. i think interracial relationships are great! my female friend whose is black just married a white man so it goes either way!

me and my husband have been together for 3 years and there are still so many haters out there and there are so many people waiting and thinking that i am gonna slip. my parents still to this day do not accept the relationship/marriage BUT they accept our beautiful 4 month old daughter. it is so wierd. my dad is coming around casue he sees how much we love each other and how much my 6 year old loves him, but MY GOD my mom is stuck on the black thing and it drives me crazy, i feel like telling her get over it, "TILL DEATH DO US PART" :)

This may be long but this is my story!
Robert and I met when I was fifteen. My parents were not accepting it! We snuch around and seen each other and when I was 16 almost 17, I got sick of hiding! We grew up in Arkansas and it wasn't accepted. I tried to be honest with my mom and dad and they were furios. To try and make this long story short, when I was 17 I ran away with Robert and my mom but me in a mental institution. Everyone tried to get me to leave him alone but this year it will be 15 years that we have been together off and on! More on than off! I am sure some of you know how that is. We have good times and bad but our love has just grown stronger and we don't think about what other people think! By the way we have a beautiful 8 year old daughter and a hansome son that will be 3 in November! Some of my family says today that they put us through all that drama for no reason because they finally learned that we were going to be together!
It turned out to be all worth it. It makes our love stronger today!:thumbsup:
EVERYONE BLEEDS RED!!!!!!!WE ARE ALL GODS CHILDREN!!!!

"Upon meeting a new person, if we listed how alike we are.... the list of differences would be very short " I've been researching religions, due to the fact, that I'm an English-Irish(by descent) Catholic, and my son-in-law is a Muslim from Tunisia. I have always tried to live my life by The Golden Rule" (Do unto others, as you would have done unto you) And EVERY religion has a version of that "rule".... I can only surmise, that the people that hate others for no real reason, have no faith, no religion and nothing of real value in their life. How sad for them... don't hate them, feel sorry for them and say a prayer for them. :)

1st i have to say that this is great that we are ALL able to to talk about this... i think its been needed for a while.


Another blk womas take on the subject, I DONT CARE!!!... LOVE is LOVE...from my own experience as being a Black/Cuban woman that has a Mexican husband, i recieve the same treatment.


I believe that the majority of the black women who believe that its wrong to date a white women are set in there ways and tend to be older women at that. (Not to say that there all old), but from my experience.


I have aunts that are from my blk side and dont approve of ME because im not "BLACK"...crazy huh...My skins a little lighter and my mother isnt black, but that sure in the hell doesnt make me any less of a black woman! It has never crossed my mind when filling out a job application and filling in the circle that says "African American"...

Hatred is all around, regardless of who or what is being targeted. Love who you want to love.... and if they dont life it (F**** them)....Its your life ladies and live it the way you want to.
Hope i gave some light on the subject and i apologize if i offended anyone, this is just my thoughts and experiences!

kEEP ON.....

I'm with a black man and I'm a white woman. Ive been with JayJay for 2 and half years *and still going strong!* anyways, before jayjay, ive dated black, camboian, white, p.r guys. I never saw color, I saw THEM. To me, they all are human beings that have feelings, a mind, and when cut, they bleed red as well. I have not experienced people staring at me and jayjay based on our color skin except in the city where jayjay is in jail. There's more percentage of white people more like 85% of white people and 15% black people and other nationalities. So when me and jayjay lived there, we'd go to the movie store or a food store and we'd park and when a white person parks next to us, they'd stare and give us dirty looks. Jayjay had mentioned that it bothered him, he'd be like "why are they starin at us? its just too obvious and that bothers me" I told him straight out that they are not worth complaininig about. They dont know SH#T about us. I told Jayjay that they are just a bunch of wannabe rednecks that think black people are scary. To me, those people in the city where jayjay is in jail at.... those people that stared at us in regard of our relationship and our color... are wimps. I never cared what they thought about us. In Jayjay's hometown back in Michigan *where i met him* There's 75% black and 25% white and other nationalities and nobody gave us dirty looks there. They had respect for our relationship, *they even know jayjay so they know* lol. That's the only situation I went through with peoples discrimiation on ir relationships. BUT... there's my dad. I knew he was a racist in the past... but once he met JayJay, he took a real liking to him and looked past color. When my dad first met JayJay here in NY.... my dad went up to him and handed out his hand and shaked my boo's hand. That was the biggest "change" *idk if thats the right word* I ever seen in my dad. Right now since Jayjays in jail and all that, my dad's definitely on his side. My whole family loves him, even my crazy niece and nephews! LOL. JayJay met my grandma once 2 months ago and she just loved him right there. She really liked him. I wish jayjay could have seen grandma again before she died but at least they got to meet once and I'm very proud of that. :D

My man is black, I am white. My parents have been up and down (and I really hate it) about the whole situation. I started dating a black guy when I was 15. At first my parents REALLY didn't approve of it. He came to the house and hung out and they absolutely LOVED him. We ended up breaking up because he cheated on me and then they judged ALL black men on being cheaters, liars, etc...just because of him. I never introduced my mom and dad to ANY of the guys between the first, and now hopefully, the last*HOPEFULLY we'll get married*. They know about Cortez. I don't really say alot to them about him but they know what's going on. I'm now 19.. I still live with my parents but I do pay more than my share of bills...I could leave at any time but I decide to help them. They give me more and more respect everyday and they are now starting to realize that I am going to be with who ever I want to be with. Its like a weight is lifting off my shoulders everytime my mom says something about Interracial relationships...she's learning to accept it day by day. Her main worry is the negativity that others will throw at me, my man, or in the future, my kids. But I don't see anything wrong with it...in my world, there are no colors...just Love. You can't help who you fall in love with. On the whole situation with the black women...I have had a little trouble. I have been in clubs where the white to black ratio was 1 to 50. For me, I'd rather be around black people as to white. I am totally comfortable around ANY race, white, black, hispanic, asian, whatever. But when I'm in the club I've heard girls saying "Why don't she go to a white folks club" or "Look she dancin wit him...She knows she need to go on somewhere" or "Don't she know this is a BLACK club". It's happened a few times...mostly out of the younger crowd. I'm not concerned about what anyone thinks.... The way I see it, if they wanna be concerned about ME...go 'head. I just came to have fun. I do have alot of friends, black, white, hispanic....I'm not worried about the colors...I'm worried about the TYPE of person you are. I don't see color...I see personality.Now, I do understand the anger when a white girl walks around sayin the n word & tries to act like she grew up in the ghetto... But those are the girls who aren't REAL. If you stay real with it, you should have no problems.

I would just like to share this information with all of you women involved in bi-racial relationships. First let me say that I am a beautiful, strong black woman and I have to agree with the author of this note on just about all of this....so if you would like to have a real perspective of what "brothers" really think....hope this will enlighten you.

Subject: FW:WHITE WOMEN'S OPINION OF BLACK WOMEN]


Good morning! I had to pass this on -- I think it is worth it!>

> White women's opinion of black women & a brother's response
>
> Please take a moment and read this. Pretty Deep! Thumbs up to this black > man..
>
> Enjoy.
>
> It seems that an article was written to Sister 2 Sister magazine by a > Caucasian woman who requested a response from black men. I'm so glad she > got what she asked for (and more) !!!
>
> Dear Jamie:
>
> I'm sorry but I would like to challenge some of your Black male readers.
>
> I am a White female who is engaged to a Black male-good-looking, > educated and loving. I just don't understand a lot of Black female's > attitudes about our relationship.
>
> My man decided he wanted me because the pickings amongst Black women > were slim to none. As he said they were either too fat, too loud, too > mean, too argumentative, too needy, too materialistic or carrying too much > excess baggage.
>
> Before I became engaged, whenever I went out I was constantly approached > by Black men, willing to wine and dine me and give me the world. If Black > women are so up in arms about us being with their men, why don't they look > at themselves and make some changes.
>
> I am tired of the dirty looks I get and snide remarks when we're out in > public. I would like to hear from some Black men about why we are so > appealing and coveted by them.
>
> Bryant Gumbel just left his wife of 26 years for one of us Charles > Barkley, Scottie Pippen, the model Tyson Beckford, Montell Williams, > Quincy Jones, James Earl Jones, Harry Belafonte, Sydney Poitier, Kofi > Anan, Cuba Gooding Jr., Don Cornelius, Berry Gordy, Billy Blanks, Larry > Fishburne, Wesley Snipes...
>
> I could go on and on. But, right now, I'm a little angry and that is why > I wrote this so hurriedly. Don't be mad with us White women because so > many of your men want us. Get your acts together and learn from us and we > may lead you to treat your men better. If I'm wrong, Black men, let me > know.
>
> Disgusted White Girl, Somewhere in VA
>
> RESPONSE
>
> Dear Jamie:
>
> I would like to respond to the letter written by A Disgusted White Girl.
>
> Let me start by saying that I am a 28-year old black man. I graduated > from one of the most prestigious universities in Atlanta, Georgia with a > Bachelor of Arts Degree in Business Management. I have a good job at a > major corporation and have recently purchased a house. So, I consider > myself to be among the ranks of successful black men.
>
> I will not use my precious time to slander white people. I just want to > set the record straight of why black men date white women. Back in the > day, one of the biggest reasons why black men dated white women was > because they were considered easy.
>
> The black girls in my neighborhood were raised in the church. They were > very strict about when they lost their virginity and who they lost it to. > Because of our impatience to wait, brothers would look for someone who > would give it up easy without too much hassle. So, they turned to the > white girls.
>
> Nowadays, in my opinion, a lot of brothers date white women because they > are docile and easy to control. A lot of black men, because of > insecurities, fears, and overall weaknesses, have become intimidated by > the strength of our black women. We are afraid that our woman will be more > successful than us, make more money than us, drive nicer cars and own > bigger houses. Because of this fear, many black men look for a more docile > woman. Someone we can control.
>
> I have talked to numerous black men and they continuously comment on how > easy it is to control and walk over their white women. I just want to set > the record straight. I want A Disgusted White Girl to know that not all > successful black men date white women.
>
> Brothers like Ahmad Rashad, Denzel Washington, Michael Jordan, Morris > Chestnut, Will Smith, Blair Underwood, Kenneth "Babyface" Edmonds, Samuel > L. Jackson, and Chris Rock all married strong black women And, to flip the > script, there are numerous white men, in and out of the spot light, who > openly or secretly desire black women over white women. Ted Danson, Robert > DeNiro, and David Bowie to name a few.
>
> I just don't want a disgusted white girl to be misinformed Stop thinking > that because you are white that you are some type of goddess. Remember, > when black Egyptian Queens like Hatsepshut and Nitorcris were ruling > Dynasties and armies of men in Egypt, you were over in the caves of Europe > eating raw meat and beating each other over the head with clubs. Read your > history!
>
> It was the black woman that taught you how to cook and season your food. > It was the black woman that taught you how to raise your children. It was > black women who were breast feeding and raising your babies during > slavery.
>
> It is the black woman that had to endure watching their fathers, > husbands, and children beaten, killed, and thrown in jail. Black women > were born with two strikes against them: being black and being a woman. > And, through all this, Still They Rise!
>
> It is because of the black women's strength, elegance, power, love and > beauty that I could> never> date anyone except my black Queen. It is not > just the outer beauty that captivates and draws me to them. It is not the > fact that they come in all shapes, sizes, colors and shades that I love > them.
>
> Their inner beauty is what I find most appealing about black women. > Their strong spirit, loving and nurturing souls, their integrity, their > ability to overcome great obstacles, their willingness to stand for what > they believe in, and their determination to succeed and reach their > highest potential while enduring great pain and suffering is why I have > fallen in love with black women.
>
> I honestly believe that your anger is geared more toward jealousy and > envy more so than snotty looks. If this were not so, then why do you > continuously go to tanning salons to darken your skin? If you are so proud > to be white, then why don't you just be happy with your pale skin? Why do > you continue to inject your lips, hips, and breasts with unnatural and > dangerous substances so you can look fuller and more voluptuous?
>
> I think that your anger is really a result of you wanting to have what > the black woman has.
>
> BOTTOM LINE: If I were looking for a docile woman, someone I can walk > over and control, I would give you a call. But, unfortunately, I am > looking for a Virtuous Woman. Someone that can be a good wife and mother > to my children.
>
> Someone who can be my best friend and understands my struggles. I am > looking for a soul mate. I am looking for a sister and; unfortunately, you > do not and CANNOT fit the bill.
>
> No offense taken, none given.
>
> Signed, Black Royalty

Interesting post cdmack - but that is his opinion and a response to what she wrote, which was ridiculous in itself.

I know for a fact - none of that applies to my inter-racial relationship. We can't change overnight what has been going on for centuries. If you can't take the heat of being in an inter-racial relationship - get out the kitchen...

Up to the time I was in my early 30's I had always lived and worried about what "they" would think. I finally had enough and demanded to know who the hell "they" were and why the f*** I should care what they thought. At that point my mother picked herself up off the floor and walked out of the room. Since then I have dated who ever I want, usually black, of course but I no longer live my life according to some else's expectations of me. Believe me, this has made me a much happier person, more contented and has, in general, improved my quality of life. By the way, my mother was 87 before she finally admitted that her father was "black". That time, I was the one who picked himself up off the floor. I, of course, had always known that he was (and that I was too for that matter) but I/we had never ever expected that she would admit it. Who says you can't teach an old dog new tricks. My grandfather was Afro American, could not pass as white to save his soul and was the man I loved most in the entire world. He was my role model, he was my inspiration, and, because he took me out of an orphanage at the age of 10, he was my "father" and I have known no other nor would I want to. God is good and He made us all in HIS image.

Its nice to read other's situations and issues with family/friends etc. I found some of these stories to be much like my own situation, which is my parents.
The thing that really gets me about my parents (mostly my dad my mom is very aggreeable) is that they claim to be such fabulous Christians, yet my dad slings derogatory statments around. To me, that isn't Christian-like behavior at all. God is love, and Jesus came to preach love.
I am almost 30 years old and haven't lived with my parents since I was 17. My dad hasn't been the easiest person to live with. I've dated all kinds of guys, mostly white, and to me a guy is a guy is a guy. Now, however, I have actually found the person I'm going to spend the rest of my life with and he just happens to be black. When my father caught wind of this (I tried to ease it in with conversation with my mom) he said some of the worst things I've ever heard in my life. I refuse to even repeat these things. He doesn't even know he's in prison, because he didn't take the time to ask anything about him! So basically, it doesn't matter to him whether he's a nice person/good for me/to me etc. He's wrong for me because he's black.
I tried religious reasoning with him, and some of my dads responses were beyond ridiculous. There is no talking to this man, so fine.
Neither my brother or I have children, so my parents are really wanting some grandkids, especially my mother. As sad as this is, I see my parents geting a divorce after 40 years if my dad tries to isolate my mother from seeing her grandkids, or tries getting her to shut me out once I'm married.

The way I see it, this is my dads problem. He is the one with hate in his heart, and as much crying as I've done over this, I refuse to let this get to me anymore. I can't be responsible for my dad's actions. He will have to answer for them himself. The most I can do is go with my heart and trust God.

I am bi-racial I have been married to a black man and a white man. People are people unfortunately even in 2006 racism still exists. I am fortunate to have been raised by family where color is blind. I choose my mates for who they are as a whole. Yes I have heard all kinds of comments. And I have to admit sometimes it is really sad.

I'm gonna respond to this from my point of view and that is being a white girl. I too am a white girl dating a black guy with a mixed baby. I grew up around my white family but choose to be with my daughters fathers family more. Black people were brought up differently and have higher hopes than that of a white person. I go to the mall and shopping everywhere with my boyfriend (when he wasn't in prison) and at first i did get dirty looks and sometimes i still do but i don't feel like it is the black girls fault nor do i think that they are jealous. Black women are stronger and want more out of life and believe it or not, i've heard many many times that the reason why black men date white girls is because they are easy and they are willing to be controlled.

I first of would not put myself in that category because first i'm not easy at all and i like to be in control. It has nothing to do with color, it's just that white women are "dumb" when it comes to relationships. Learn to treat your man good ane he'll treat you like a princess. I learned from experience

. . . Learn to treat your man good ane he'll treat you like a princess. . . .
I think if a man treats his woman like royalty it's more about how he feels about her, rather than how she treats him. That he is going to love who he love because you can't help who you fall in love with, allthewhile HOPING that the person he's fallen/ing in love with is one who treats him well.

If a man is treating his woman good AND SHE'S FEELIN HIM, assuming she's not issue ridden, she's going to treat him good. :yes: But if his game is messed up, a woman who feels she deserves better won't be gung ho about treating him so good. And, she may even be calling him out because she knows he's up to no good on the sly. So yeah, a man in this situation could repeat back to others "she didn't know how to treat me."

What being SMART is, is as a woman yourself, remaining conscious of how women get down. That when our man is treating us good and we're feelin him, that we are going to treat him good as well. That if he says he wasn't treated good, it's okay to wonder "could that be because he won't no good?" :confused:

:confused: Hello everyone,

We need some help
I am just trying to get back to where I was last night. I needed help to find someone around Delano. Name is Charles Calhoun, black male, maybe late 40s, from San Diego area. Lost him in system somehow. fi you know of this person please tell him to contact Robert and Donna at this email...dm_2saint@yahoo.com


Robert and Donna

. . . Don't be mad with us White women because so > many of your men want us. Get your acts together and learn from us and we > may lead you to treat your men better. If I'm wrong, Black men, let me > know. . . .
I honestly do believe that some white women believe that part of the quote.

And, I wonder if they know that while they believe black women hate on the black man/white woman relationship, that the #1, 2 and 3 hater of those relationships are white men. For that reason, this is why some black men will purposely choose extremely fair white women particularly with light colored hair as a paper and showpiece wife. It's not blacks he's showing her off to, it's his way of telling the white man for all that he does to Blacks "up yours whitey, what do you think of my wife -- yeah, a black ass n_____r like me with a real light white wife like this." That's why some whites, particularly on the corporate scale, have an unwritten policy to only meet the quota, and if there is no quota, then do not hire no black men up in here. That be their way of at least trying "to protect" the white woman in the work place.

Crack and cocaine is the black man's drug, and that's why so many black men are locked up -- 70% at least -- who get locked up do because of drug relatednes. The Rockefeller laws are basically to keep blacks in prison and off the streets. So when I see the interracial couples in the prisons, I LOVE IT because white men need to face the fact -- no matter how they say blacks got the most AIDS and blacks take up most of the slots in prison (except maybe out in the original indian territorities of this country) that there is nothing they can do or say to keep the white women from wanting black men.

White men with their devilishness cracks me up -- I just laugh at them because they really need to give it up. How long ago was it again that they killed up the indians and took their land while stealing a race of people to bring them here to work the land. If whitey would just leave blacks alone, THEN I honest to God do believe race problems between blacks and whites in America will go away. But until then, until white men can look at black men with white gals and feel "it's no biggie, live and love", I can tell you now -- racism ain't goin nowhere.

Not all -- just some.

:wave:I have been dating black men forever. I am white and have even been called racist against my own colour! Go figure? I date black men because I am attracted to them. Some people like blonde men, slim men, dark haired men, muscular men. I like my men big and black. My Son is mixed race. My parents have a real problem with it, so much so that we are no longer in contact with each other. But this is my life!
My man is black. So what? Its just a colour! We all breathe the same air, no one is better than anyone else in this world. We are all created equal. :hifive:

Quote:
Originally Posted by cdmack
. . . Don't be mad with us White women because so > many of your men want us. Get your acts together and learn from us and we > may lead you to treat your men better. If I'm wrong, Black men, let me > know. . . .


This made me cringe. There is something wrong with any white woman saying this, and it's an embarrasment!

I'm white, my husband is black. I have never thought anything like what that woman said. I don't understand it. I have dated all different races of men. I just happened to fall in love with a man who is black and marry him. We don't sit around talking about "I'm white, you're black", etc. We are just 2 people who love each other. I never think about his race. I think that lady in the quote has some serious issues. It sounds like she is dating black men so that she can feel superior to black women, IMHO.

My boyfriend is a black man. I am a white women. I have white daughters. My niece is black. Many of my friends are black. I don't see color and this thread depresses me. I love a person for who they are and their race and/or the color of their skin is so unimportant to me. Those negative attitudes about bi-racial relationships are that persons problem. Not mine.

sorry 2 change the subject but im confused. help me out with this one. people say "i don't notice color?" i can see people saying the color of a person doesn't determine the nature of the relationship but 2 say you don't notice 2 me is a falsehood. u do notice if some1 is african-american or caucasian. why do people think it's bad to say "yeah, im atttracted to men who have brown (not black - never met a person with black skin) skin. it's okay to say you prefer a man whose skin is dark just like it's okay to say your preference is tall/skinny/athletic/muscular men.

He'sGettingOut---

I can't answer for everyone, but when I say, "I don't notice color", well.

Of course I NOTICE what color someone is, just like if they are tall, short, etc.

When you said, there is nothing wroing with saying you prefer a man with dark skin....well, I DON'T prefer a man with dark skin!! There are good looking men in every racial group, IMHO. And I have dated men from all different racial groups.

So I guess for me, I am not really saying I don't "notice" color, I just don't care! My husband doesn't get any "bonus" points from me for being black. I could just as easily have fell in love with a white guy as a black guy.

Alot of times people think just because a white woman is with a black man, she must prefer black men. Nothing wrong with it if they do prefer black men, but I don't.

I said what I feel. I am not literally white either but its the term is used for me and the term "caucasian is rarely used. How about not picking apart everything and making a NEW issue. WHAT I AM SAYING IS COLOR MAKES NO DIFFERENCE TO ME.

I said what I feel. I am not literally white either but its the term is used for me and the term "caucasian is rarely used. How about not picking apart everything and making a NEW issue. WHAT I AM SAYING IS COLOR MAKES NO DIFFERENCE TO ME.

this wasn't directed towards you sweetie. sorry if you took it personal. i was just trying to see someone else's perspective. june helped with that. . . w/o seeming a bit perturbed. thanks!! :)

He'sGettingOut---

I can't answer for everyone, but when I say, "I don't notice color", well.

Of course I NOTICE what color someone is, just like if they are tall, short, etc.

When you said, there is nothing wroing with saying you prefer a man with dark skin....well, I DON'T prefer a man with dark skin!! There are good looking men in every racial group, IMHO. And I have dated men from all different racial groups.

So I guess for me, I am not really saying I don't "notice" color, I just don't care! My husband doesn't get any "bonus" points from me for being black. I could just as easily have fell in love with a white guy as a black guy.

Alot of times people think just because a white woman is with a black man, she must prefer black men. Nothing wrong with it if they do prefer black men, but I don't.

gotcha girl. i was just curious. i do prefer dark meat (:) yummy!!!!) and don't mind saying so. so i thought some of the ladies who posted did as well but just had an issue with saying it. i never dated white men, short men, extremely skinny men (u get my point, i know ya'll could care less about my personals) because that wasn't my preference.

sorry 2 change the subject. never mind me.

sorry 2 change the subject but im confused. help me out with this one. people say "i don't notice color?" i can see people saying the color of a person doesn't determine the nature of the relationship but 2 say you don't notice 2 me is a falsehood. . .
:wave:. . . I date black men because I am attracted to them. Some people like blonde men, slim men, dark haired men, muscular men. I like my men big and black. :hifive:
I hear what you're saying hesgettinout06 which is why I really do appreciate the LoveMyBooSP of the world -- she's not a scared to say what she like. And I agree with her because I, myself, am primarily attracted to the same man she is -- big and black -- but dark skinned. However, Lord Jesus, Lil T.I. sure do make my knees shake hot damn!! :p

But to help you with your confusion, look at it another way -- take the color out and replace it with disfigurement. Like for instance I don't know if you saw the thing on the news about the husband who went to his wife's job, he poured a flamable fluid on her and then threw a match on her. Her face is disfigured but when I look at her while I physically see it, that physical doesn't interfer with what I see in her. She was georgeous before he did that to her, and she's still attractive though her face bears the disfigurement. Also, I saw a man out here who was big and black but there was some disfigurement on his face. While I saw the disfigurement the way one can see color, it was like the disfigurement played no part in what I saw because what I saw was a handsome man despite the disfigurement. Had I flirted with him and had he said "you just b.s.ing, look at my face", I would have told him "I don't even see that, so what about your face?" It's like when you're looking at a person, you can see beyond the surface, and that's good because that's how it should be. It's not how it always is, but it's how it should be. Hope this helps. :o

this wasn't directed towards you sweetie. sorry if you took it personal. i was just trying to see someone else's perspective. june helped with that. . . w/o seeming a bit perturbed. thanks!! :)

I did take it personally and I apologize for that. Its not been an easy road to travel and I am fully aware of others opinions and thoughts. They think nothing of telling me how they feel. What I see is how much this man loves me and how he respects and treats me like I am the most special thing in the world to him.

Well I'm white and i have a beautiful black man and a gorgeous mixed baby girl...i don't see color and nobody should...we all live in this hell of a world together and breathe the same stale air....those people that cannot get over this like the white girl who originated this thread...need help.....please find help....life is too short for all this bs about color....if you don't like white women with black men that's your opinion and its not your case at all. What you are doing is trying to make a issue with the black women and you are just as crazy as the people you talk about.

There are hate'rs everywhere. So put on your shades & ignore them. When you are full of self confidence it doesn't matter what familes, friends, your community or even other women (& men) of color say, feel, or think. When you lack self confidence you attract the hate'rs. Think about it.

. . . What you are doing is trying to make a issue with the black women and you are just as crazy as the people you talk about.
:confused: ???? :confused: Really? Hmmm, that's news to me, and I am a black woman. Black women don't have issue with that letter, AT ALL, so if women do have issue with what the letter writer wrote, it ain't black women. Just wanted to clear that up so that people don't get things twisted and confused. :o

Just explain to them that you love who you love and you are grown person who can make her own decisions. My man is black and to be honest my family is not happy but I choose to be with him no matter what he is or where he is.

I hear what you're saying hesgettinout06 which is why I really do appreciate the LoveMyBooSP of the world -- she's not a scared to say what she like.

right. don't know LoveMyBooSP but i appreciate her as well. :)

I did take it personally and I apologize for that. Its not been an easy road to travel and I am fully aware of others opinions and thoughts. They think nothing of telling me how they feel. What I see is how much this man loves me and how he respects and treats me like I am the most special thing in the world to him.

apology accepted girl! for the most part, all of us haven't travelled down easy roads (we're on frickin PTO:)). so, i feel you on that 1. my thing about opinions and thoughts of others, if it doesn't apply to you & your particular situation, let it roll of your back. life is much easier when you have this state of mind.

sorry 2 change the subject but im confused. help me out with this one. people say "i don't notice color?" i can see people saying the color of a person doesn't determine the nature of the relationship but 2 say you don't notice 2 me is a falsehood. u do notice if some1 is african-american or caucasian. why do people think it's bad to say "yeah, im atttracted to men who have brown (not black - never met a person with black skin) skin. it's okay to say you prefer a man whose skin is dark just like it's okay to say your preference is tall/skinny/athletic/muscular men.
:angry: What does it matter? Its just language. We all have a preference about the way we express ourselves.
I truly wish the moderators will jump in on this and close the thread. its become petty now.
Yes I see colour, i'm not blind. What I think people are trying to say here is that they don't notice colour, not because its not there, but because it is not an issue. When I look at my Son I don't see my brown skinned Son, I see my Son. When I look at my man I don't see the black man I love, I see the man I love. :love:

I feel you lovemyboo...at least you get it....all this thread is is petty shit about color....just like she said when i look at my son i see my son...that's right when i look at my daughter i see her not her skin color.

And to hessohandsome or whatever her name is....i was making the point about her saying that black girls hate on white girls for taking their men...and she didn't like the black girls for that...i was letting her know it's not really an issue...did you miss something

(not black - never met a person with black skin)
:rolleyes: Sorry but was it not the great Martin Luther King that created the word "black" for people of colour? :slap:
People before that were called coloured people?!! :confused:


"There is only one race, the human race!"


Sorry, just needed to add that.
And on that note... i'm outta here! :wave:

ladies ~ it's seriously not that deep. take a deep breath, calm down, relax, and enjoy life. every1 on here is entitled to their own opinion and allowed to ask questions. if you don't like the question, that's fine. my feelings aren't hurt. i don't get why people on here get so upset over the smallest things & feel the need to use the flaming red angry face???

this thread isn't about language but if you want the facts, we have been called many things. negro, negroid, colored, people of color, african american, and some more choice words i wont share. maybe you have to be african american to understand why it's more than just "language." it's about history. many people (including myself) have an issue with the term "black" just as my ancestors had issue w/being called negro, colored, and that other word. it's not petty (although seriously not worth debating on here) to some. to any1 who doesn't have a problem with it, great!! to each his/her own. that's not what my post was about.

my original question was, why do people think it's bad to say "yeah, im atttracted to men who have brown skin?" because it seemed to me people were reluctant to say this. obviously (since i am of color & my husband is) i love the hell out of brown skin. i just wouldn't want any1 thinking it's a bad thing to state their preference. i seriously don't have a problem w/your viewpoint & wish you well!

Okay, I'll say it! I'm attracted to men with brown skin! In reality I am attracted to men that resemble my father - tall, dark skin, dark hair, dark eyes and handsome as all get out! My ancestry is Native American and Canadian French - olive-tone skin, dark hair, dark eyes. My father used to work outside and in he was so tanned that people often though that he was biracial. I've had people think that of me too (back in the day when I used to spend my summers outdoors at the lakeside). While my husband is a strong, proud, tall, dark and handsome Black man, it was his personality that made me fall in love with him.

PS: My husband refers to himself proudly as a Black man.

Okay, I'll say it! I'm attracted to men with brown skin! In reality I am attracted to men that resemble my father - tall, dark skin, dark hair, dark eyes and handsome as all get out! My ancestry is Native American and Canadian French - olive-tone skin, dark hair, dark eyes. My father used to work outside and in he was so tanned that people often though that he was biracial. I've had people think that of me too (back in the day when I used to spend my summers outdoors at the lakeside). While my husband is a strong, proud, tall, dark and handsome Black man, it was his personality that made me fall in love with him.

PS: My husband refers to himself proudly as a Black man.

i'm feelin ya crone.

p.s. my husband refers to himself proudly as a man of color. he dislikes the term "african american" (as many do) since most of us have no clue which part of africa we come from. to each his own.

personally i dont think that race, culture, creed matter in a relationship, if two people love each other for who they are as people, and they treat each other with love and respect then that is more important than color

. . . p.s. my husband refers to himself proudly as a man of color. he dislikes the term "african american" (as many do) since most of us have no clue which part of africa we come from. to each his own.
I can relate to your husband on that. I don't see the continued need for the name we're called to keep changing. What next, because there will be a next -- black american? :confused: Shucks, I'm fine with negro and that's because no matter how much sugar or cream you put on it it still means the same thing -- that yo ass is black!!

I say the letter writer expressed her feelings and opinion, and she got a response from a man who expressed his. Like vegetable soup we've all thrown in our bits -- I say drinks for everyone, on me!! :beer:

I can relate to your husband on that. I don't see the continued need for the name we're called to keep changing. What next, because there will be a next -- black american? :confused: Shucks, I'm fine with negro and that's because no matter how much sugar or cream you put on it it still means the same thing -- that yo ass is black!!

I say the letter writer expressed her feelings and opinion, and she got a response from a man who expressed his. Like vegetable soup we've all thrown in our bits -- I say drinks for everyone, on me!! :beer:
Hear hear! :clap:
Ok I know I said I'm outta here but you guys say so much that I cannot ignore!
HeSoHandsome: you are one intelligent lady and I love your style of thinking. :hifive:
I also want to add.....
I consider myself lucky enough to be in a beautiful relationship with a very sexy, very big black man that loves me as much as I love him! :rock:
:grouphug:

We are all part of the human race.

well i am not purely white i am a heinz 57 with white rican asain native american, italian and blk i was raised in both a white and rican and black home my skin color can be considered white a ttimes and times u can tell ia m mixed by the fact i turn high yallow when i tan. My fience is full blooded black and because i look more white i get those stares and shit but you know what i dont care i have been with my man for over 9 years he was my best friend since iw as 2 he is my heart and if my family or freidns couldnt handle that then so be it but they will be missin out on my life. We have a 2 year old daughter he has been in since i was 2 months and they wont let her see him because he wasnt there to sign birth certificate it pisses me off cause it hard for me to go visit him because i have no oen to watch her so if any one has any suggestions on that please tell me.

We are all part of the human race.
Yes, thank God the days when blacks were considered to only be 3/4 human -- and that was on a good day -- are long gone, because on a bad day, we weren't even recognized as being human. Slavery was one thing, hatred mixed with it was another. While old-time slavery is done and over with along with those original haters being dead and buried, because the spirit lives on, the spirit of racism has survived through this day.

And all i can add is god help those racist people cuz one day they will answer for their hatred and the way they treat people of another race

And all i can add is god help those racist people cuz one day they will answer for their hatred and the way they treat people of another race
Perhaps you could be on to something there spadesboo. Prisoners aren't the only ones "who dream". I dream too, and one of the things I dream is if every person who gets hit with a piece of racism prays for the person instead of getting fire mad :angry: resorting to calling them names like ignorant, stupid and the like, perhaps more hearts will be changed. I believe there's always hope for the soul of the living if we get on our knees and ask the Lord to help the person. :o

Perhaps you could be on to something there spadesboo. Prisoners aren't the only ones "who dream". I dream too, and one of the things I dream is if every person who gets hit with a piece of racism prays for the person instead of getting fire mad :angry: resorting to calling them names like ignorant, stupid and the like, perhaps more hearts will be changed. I believe there's always hope for the soul of the living if we get on our knees and ask the Lord to help the person. :o

HeSo, you are definitely my "PTO Hero of The Day!" You are absolutely right. Not only that, people judge what they don't know about. When I was undergrad, in my speech class we got to do a speech of our choice. I did mine on interracial relationships because I know what people are thinking about me and my husband (he's black) alot of the time. So anyway, I did my speech and said, "go ahead and ask questions." Nobody said anything. I said, "well, we aren't together just because we're 'freaky', and I know you all think that." Everybody was cracking up. Then people started asking alot of questions. It was really cool.

Well I have always been attrated to dark skin my man is very dark but I love it. He is my bestfriend for years and been my man for years as well. Alot of the reaon is my grandma that i looked up to always told me that i may not look blk i have it runnign through my vains and a queen she be with her blk king. And he is my king. My grandma is bl k and rican she made me know that what ia m supposed to be with.

here my papi He has been in prison 2 1/2 years i finally get to go seee him oct 14 yeah he has been to far for me to go vissit since had no money taking care of our daughter

My family hates me being engaged to a black man. They say it is down-right sorry of me to do that to them! Like I fell in love to make them look bad. I don't choose who I date based on skin color I go by what's on the inside.

My family hates me being engaged to a black man. They say it is down-right sorry of me to do that to them! Like I fell in love to make them look bad. I don't choose who I date based on skin color I go by what's on the inside.

Dang Chica
I am sorry your family is making you feel bad about who u love but know what it there loss. My family has been great but i am alos mixed so i have almost every race runnign around me in cousins or some form i am white rican asain native american italian and blk so i never had the problem but i knwo what its lik eto get stares cause i am so light skin peole consider me white and we go the looks and mumbles under the breathe but you know what to hell with allof emmm. I dont try to make no one happy but me and mines.


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Hey-
I was just recently married... it's the 3rd time for me. The other 2 marraiges were to white men (for me "Love see NO color"). My new in-laws love and accept me more than the "white" in-laws ever did. However, when I'm rolling around South Central LA with my G-ma in-law, we sure do get some hateful looks. This also happens at the prison when I visit... from both blacks and whites and even hispanics. We were even approached by a couple children who innocently inquired "why are you white and he's black?" I responded "because God made us this way!" Now I know that these kids only approached us because their folks were going on about it. This is just another example of how racism gets passed down and perpetuated by ignorant adults.

well my family expects me to date black men (im white) because i never been attracted to my own race. but during visitation the black female guards will be rude and look at me mean....

I am sorry that the female guards are not treating you with the respect you deserve

i am sorry that guards are treating you bad because you are white and your man is blk i didnt have that problem at hutchinson ks east unit they were very nice and sweet to us.

My family didn't know I dated black men tell I became prego with my first child. Thats when I told them. At first they were not so happy about it, but after our little bundle of joy arrived they fell in love with him and it has never been a issue since.

*JUST ASKING* Since, I know you all are open to discuss racism and segregation. I'm really curious: How does it make any of you feel that there is a forum for "Interracial Couples" while there isn't one for "Black Couples" or "White Couples" or "Mexican Couples"? What makes us so "special" that we get to have our own little spot? Are we? What do you think? I'm just curious, is all.

*JUST ASKING* Since, I know you all are open to discuss racism and segregation. I'm really curious: How does it make any of you feel that there is a forum for "Interracial Couples" while there isn't one for "Black Couples" or "White Couples" or "Mexican Couples"? What makes us so "special" that we get to have our own little spot? Are we? What do you think? I'm just curious, is all.

that's a good question. i hadn't thought of it. i have two guesses. 1 guess is one of the moderators or facilitators or one of the many originators of pto is/was in an interracial relationship. ir relationships are also pretty (in relation to average urban cities in america) large in the prison system for some reason.

Probably because inter racial couples face different challenges than couples of the same race and this gives us a chance to share our experiences and offer our support.:)

Probably because inter racial couples face different challenges than couples of the same race and this gives us a chance to share our experiences and offer our support.:)
EXACTLY! As we all know segregation is HUGE in the prison system. Many IRR couples get treated quite differently then any other couple in the system. So we decided to open the forum up for those discussion specific to the issues IRR couples face ;)

Stacy

Probably because inter racial couples face different challenges than couples of the same race and this gives us a chance to share our experiences and offer our support.:)

good point.

EXACTLY! As we all know segregation is HUGE in the prison system. Many IRR couples get treated quite differently then any other couple in the system. So we decided to open the forum up for those discussion specific to the issues IRR couples face ;)

Stacy

Okie dokie, thanks. It just made me feel kind of weird, I guess, sort of "singled out". In here I've mostly seen more general IR couple problems that don't really deal with the system and visitation type problems and I figured the latter could just be addressed in the visitation forum. But then again, maybe not with as much openness and understanding. But thanks for all your inputs. I don't feel so weird now and feel kind of silly for feeling that way in the first place. Good idea.

My mother doesnt have a problem with the race issue. It aint a thang to her. She wishes I would find someone who isnt locked up and could be here with me to provide things for me. But like I explain to her I love him and wouldnt leave him because he is in prison. I am going to be here when he is down and out and when he is up and has something. I love him regardless of what the situation is. I love him and will be with him no matter what anyone has to say about it.

I am bi-racial. Been on both sides and have been asked some of the stupidest questions on earth. Like what is it like to raise a bi-racial child? Response: better. They have the best of every worlds. This is 2007. I know color will always be an issue to some, but who cares. I love who I love because of them not by the color of the skin. Nosey people need to mind their own business. If you are grown and pay your own bills who cares? There will be stupid, ignorant people everywhere. It is really sad but hey, like I said children of mixed cultures are beautiful because they have the whole world before them. To me they are blessed.. Amen...

well my family expects me to date black men (im white) because i never been attracted to my own race. but during visitation the black female guards will be rude and look at me mean....



Thats crazy that you said that because I have had the same things happen to me. I have never been attracted to a white man. I have like black men my whole life. I used to visit my man every week and sometimes I would even get by with it 2 times a week. Then one day this Black C.O. seen who I was visiting and she got a nasty look on her face and wouldnt let me visit him until my full 14 days and she was rude there after. The only thing I could do was laugh about it and smile at her because she was really acting stupid in my eyes.

I was brought up my grand ma being blk and rican it was not acceptable to bring a white boy home either blk or rican she told me i am light when tan i am high yella golden color but i an pass for pure white if i want but i am very pround of my mixture she always told me no matter if i look blk i am a blk queen that need her blk king my man is the only man i have ever been with we were best friends since two and together since 11 years old he is my everything

Thats crazy that you said that because I have had the same things happen to me. I have never been attracted to a white man. I have like black men my whole life. I used to visit my man every week and sometimes I would even get by with it 2 times a week. Then one day this Black C.O. seen who I was visiting and she got a nasty look on her face and wouldnt let me visit him until my full 14 days and she was rude there after. The only thing I could do was laugh about it and smile at her because she was really acting stupid in my eyes.

Interracial couples are still a minority and suffer racial attitudes from both sides! The thing is this... we do suffer discrimination and it is VERY prevelant when in a prison visiting room. I've had both white and black guards give me greif and attitude also folks visiting other inmates. Same race couples rarely have to put up with what mixed couples do. I'm glad we have a forum! This whole experience is hard... I can use all the support and advocacy I can get from folks who have first hand knowledge of the trials we face. Try discussing prison stuff with a girlfriend who hasn't experienced it... they are like "I don't know how or why you do it!" Makes me wonder sometimes if I'm the only one who know what true love is! Just like we need PTO... we need specialized forums for our different experiences.

:eek: well gollyyyyy... I just found out my husband is BLACK !!! well actually as he admitted, "wet paper sack brown" . :p . I reckon thats ok, as I always thought I was white, but as he pointed out, Im actualy beige, unless im getting out of a hot bath , then Im pink... :rolleyes: ,,,
Well , as love is blind, we never really noticed, dont ya just wish everyone else was in love :twocents:
Leece

for all of those interested check out this site
http://personals.aol.com/dating-advice/sugar-spice/black-white-dating?ncid=AOLCOMMloveCRSSaoln0003

EXACTLY! As we all know segregation is HUGE in the prison system. Many IRR couples get treated quite differently then any other couple in the system. So we decided to open the forum up for those discussion specific to the issues IRR couples face ;)

Stacy

Exactly, but also we get treated differently by society and sometimes our own families...it's difficult at x's.

My family accepted my 4 biracial children and my choice in men (black, mexican, etc.) from day 1. They said as long as the man treated me right and I was happy, they'd be happy, and they are.
As far as running into black women who feel I've stolen their man, well, I'm married to one black man, not all of them. And not all black men like "cream with their coffee," so there are definitely good black men out there looking for positive black women.

Well, let me tell you this: I'm white, my fiance is black and i'm older than him, so as u see we have a tripleta, LOL. We are both ricans but people just see our skin colors. Yes, sometimes we talk about it. At the prisons (he's been like in 9) the black female officers are always giving me dirty looks. Ask me if I care...we follow the rules so he doesn't get in trouble, other than that, we don't mind them. Actually, sometimes we laugh and discuss their ignorance. We are very happy with each other and I never knew what love was until I met him. You should see the looks in their faces when they see us holding hands or when we hug and kiss when I arrive to see him, we have a blast. I would not change him for anyone. Oh, in case you are wondering I always liked black men.

The color or race of anybody doesn't matter to me. I could care less, it is the person. Good luck to you all

I'm white and my husband is black. The main objection that my mom had was that he was in prison. As for how my husband and I are treated while I'm there visiting him has actually been good. Occasionally an officer will let his feelings be known, but it's alwasy been subtle. My man and I sometimes just chuckle at the ignorance of people. We get more stares from the white visitors, which always incenses me! They will stop what they are doing and blatantly turn their heads to stare at us, and being a bit on the feisty side I will glare at them and then tell them how rude they are. :) But, most of the time I just ignore them.
My husband and I have been together for twenty years now, and although life as the wife of an inmate is lonely and frustrating, I don't want to be with anyone else.

I seriously doubt that racism will ever go away, but it would be nice if it would. There are so many more important things in life to be concerned with, that the color of someone's skin just seems so insignificant to me.

I am new here and now, for the first time in many years, I feel as if I can talk openly without being criticized or looked down on.

Peace Out to all of you,
Gator's Lady

I myself prefer white or asian women myself. Most black women are not very attractive no offence. The only shitty thing for me is most good looking white women don't like black men.

Oh well I will find my gem!

i think i must be lucky in many ways, as where i live in sheffield race really is not a problem, as its rare to find people of the same race/culture together, its maionly a very mixed cuture around here, so us white women who prefer black guys dont have any problems with the race thing anyway. yes i think i will stay in sheffield

I don't really see the issue but the problem is other people still do. If I had grown up in a different place than I did, I know 100% sure I would have never dated a caucasian man..ever. Totally not attracted, but that is all there was at the time.

I am mixed but look perfectly caucasian, it's always been a problem for me, because I don't look like my parents and I don't identify myself with caucasian people. (meaning as one of them)

I prefer black, hispanic, or arabic men. It's not a racist thing, I'm just a million times more attracted. :)

I am an African-American female and I am engaged to marry an African-American male on March 21, 2007, this month. While my fiancee' was incarcerated we broke up for a few months and in those months I met and dated a White guy. I was honest with him about whom I was involved with and it literally crushed him. He felt as though I had "sold-out"! I had to explain to him that even though you are incarcerated and are being "oppressed" by "some" white people doesn't give you any reason to hate the entire race. My point is, yeah slavery was 300 hundred years ago and alot of racism is still in effect, especially the prison system. :angry: But, if we disliked an entire race,creed, religion, sex, or gender because of "1" or a "few" ignorant individuals of that particular group this would be a very difficult society to function in. I commend everyone for loving the men and women you love despite of color,race, or nationality. But, we have to stop living in the past and try to make the world a better place for our children to live in. We can't change the past, but we can learn from it, and hatred, envy, deceit, ridicule, and oppression is not the way.

WELL I MUST AGREE W/ VANILLA FLAYME . I HOPE I GOT THAT RT. BUT NO-ONE IS PAYING MY BILLS BUT ME. I AM MY OWN PERSON. AND I DO SEE THE SIDE WHERE SOME AFC. AMER. WOMEN SOME POINTS THEY COULD TOUCH ON , BUT I FELL NO-ONE PICKS & CHOOSES WHO THEY FALL IN LOVE WITH :cool: :cool: . BUT I AM VERY BLESSED BECAUSE BOTH SIDES OF OUR EXTENDED FAMILIES SUPPORT US IN OUR MARRIAGE AND I THANK GOD. BECAUSE " IF" THE FAMILY DOESN'T LIKE YOU IT CAN SOMETIMES BE AN ISSUE .

I think a lot of the interracial problems depend on what part of the country one is living. In looking around the visit room yesterday, I would think that a good one-third of the couples were mixed: black/white/asian/hispanic/native/whatever. (I'm in Western Washington.) People seem less concerned about our color difference and more about our age difference (I've got 12 years on him). But then I get comments like, "You go, girl!" :D One thing that tends to stick out in my mind is that the people who are critical of others are usually trying to avert the attention from themselves; or, because their own lives are 'out of control' they try to control someone else's.

But the one thing that bothers me more than anything are the 'white' woman who are 'proud to be with a black man.' Ew! You are in a relationship for the wrong reason. I did not get involved with my guy to prove a point, strike out against my parents or society, change the world, see for myself if black guys are 'bigger' than non-black guys, whatever. Our relationship is based on love and mutual respect. He's a wonderful man who happens to not be white. He also doesn't eat his peas and doesn't take me dancing.

well i think that if he makes u happy and he is the one you love than stick by his side no matter what.... trust me i have lost all my family and friends because of my fiance but i look at this way if they cant except him than they are loosing oout not me.. its your life live it the way you want to and with whom you want!!!:D

first off, all the fems i hang around is cool. and we dont hate, we partisapat,and congratulate, and then we modavat. and i give a damb what any one thinks regardless of who they are or their color. cant stop my heart

My family doesnt really seem to have a problem with it. Now outside of my home like other family members they dont see it eye to eye like i do, but I look at it like this I am making myself happy and if no one can accept who I love and want to be with then they dont accept me period. It shouldnt matter what color people are everyone is human. And I have had a few black women have problem with me dating black men but I really dont pay any attention to it because it doesnt matter to me what anyone thinks as long as I handle my business and do what I have to do to make myself happy. No one should let someone hold them back from loving someone because of their race.

i know what your going through oh so well, I am also a white female and my boyfriend is black, and my family hasn't ever been happy for me. But i tell them, that this my life, and they don't have to like it, but this is what i want and choose, I also tell them they are not in our relationship, so they don't have to deal with it, and then i always throw the i am GROWN in there LOL... But girl, you need to tell them they need to accept your feelings and your choices. Because if they can't accept that than they can't accept you. You do what make's your heart happy. Not what people say. Only you know what is right in your heart. I hope i helped some

Hey everyone. Newbie here. I've been looking around for a minute and decided this would be a good place for my first post. :)
I met my boyfriend after he had been in for a while. Long story short-I was writing an article for a magazine I worked for and after the assignment we just kept talking.
A couple of years ago, I had a hypothetical conversation with my Mom to see how she would feel about his being black and my being white. She didn't seem to mind if my Dad didn't. Oh but he DOES.
My Dad and I had a HUGE blow out about my 'projected' boyfriend. His rebuttals were nothing short of ridiculous. I mean, really, really out there.
But now that we're together, I just refuse to have the conversation anymore. And when we get married, they'll be the last to know.
I'm not with Duane because he is black. In fact, I've dated many more white guys than any other ethnicity. However, Duane is my SOULMATE and I refuse to cast him and my life's happiness aside just because my Dad doesn't approve of his skin. So I believe when the day comes, I'll just tell my dad I've heard what he has to say, and he can either like it or lump it, and while we're at it, we don't even have the same last name anymore, so kiss my butt.
I have had a really hard time with this, so its nice to see how others have delt with it. Its a shame that people are so negative. Like someone else in this thread said, shouldn't our families just be happy that we've found someone who loves us and will be good to us? My friends have been a great support, but I still feel very alone in dealing with this. Maybe now that I've found this place I won't have to feel so alone anymore.

And as for black women giving me a hard time...thats not been an issue with me. Personally, I've had the MOST trouble out of white men. I was told one day that "black men are taking all the good white women." I responded he's just complaining because he can't get ANY woman.
Most people will just never be happy, and I am not going to let those unhappy people get me down. Its taken me a while to come to this conclusion, but God put us together because he wants us together and nobody's opinion will change that.

I feel so so blessed that my family and my fiancés family don’t judge us and our choices to have an IRR. My children are also multiracial and I always tell them they have the best of both worlds.
I’m not saying that I have not experienced the prejudice of society and the ignorance of people! I do feel like overcoming all the misconceptions and judgments’ that go along with an IRR only makes us stronger and more able to overcome any obstacle that life presents us with. I Know that God brought my fiancé and I together for a reason!

Life is too short to care what other people think...even if it is your family memebers, its your life and u only have 1, u live n u die. its about livin life to the fullest, isn't it? There will always be H8ters, MISERY LUVS COMPANY! I've dated all types of races, American Indian, White, Black, Israli, and the facts still remain the same u love with your heart not your eyes.!!! AND THE STARES AND GLARES....I LUV THE EXTRA ATTENTION ANYWAYS!:D ;) :)

i am new to this website i really dont know whats going on but i can relate to this subject. i am a white woman and i only date black men.i dont really associate with my family that much. me and my sister are straight but as far as my mother and father we dont talk that much. i left home very early and always live around black people. that is the only lifestyle i know . when i come back to visit my sister our 2 cultures are very different. although i am a white woman it seems like i cant relate anymore but no matter how long you live in ghetto you will always be white. when i was liek 13 i used to lose my sence of identity but now i am very comfortable with being a white woman in the ghetto. i would not have it any other way. i am going on fourth bi-racial child and my children identify more with black . this website is very neat and helpful. i never knew there was anything liek this its kinda normal for peaopel i know to be in prision. everyone i know have been in and out of prision. so its not considered a reall big deal. im the only one that i know that hasnt doen a calander where i live at. so its kind of like funny to all my friends but i think this is nice support for people who need it. im so happy to bea a part of this site.

my friends are fine with our relationship my family on the other hand is a completly a different story. first of all im from a very small town in tennessee and i grew up with that you dont date the opposite race. So when i ended up being with my man everyone went crazy...i constantly got comments from my family that it was wrong and they wouldnt stand for it........but for me love isnt about a color its about who the person is. The feelings that you have for them and the feelings they have for you. I wont let anyone choose my happiness but me if you dont like my relationship then dont look!!! the only persons opionins that matter and thats his and mine.

my family totally disapproves and my friends dont really care. most of them anyway i do have some that say they dont care but their actions say differently! as long as you love your man that is all that matters!

I just see people as being people. In my house, we don't even specify "the race" when we are talking about something that happened in reference to a person. (You know, like the news paper always makes it a point point out that it was "A Black Man," or "Asian woman.") Who cares! Just get to your point and tell the frickin story. Is the main point of the story somehow going to be "different" or misunderstood if you fail to point out the race of the person that you are talking about?

Anyway- and back to the question. My family (parents) and friends know nothing about the relationship that I am in. Nobody that I know will be able to "just see the man" because all that they are only capable of seeing is the color of his skin and the place where he currently resides. I feel sorry for them, because not only are they missing out on a really great person, but they won't ever be able to thank the one person who has treated me better and made me happier than anyone else that I know. (Except for my kids, of course).

My kids, who are still at home, but slowly approaching the age of independence trust me and my judgement. They see me happy, and this is all that they see.

I am a black female who doesnt believe in one race belonbs to the other men and women are meant to be together not matter the colr.So it has never bothered me.I get mad when I hear my friend ssya that white girl took our man.My question is If he wasnt with her whos to say he would want to be with them.That always boggled m mind that people are sticking to labeling no race belongs to the other I am a product of many race so if i am to stick with my own where do i start .I say to all women af all races as long as you love your man end he loves you the outsiders need to get gone,because if they cant accept that they dont lve you anyway.Love is unconditional (so they say)

im white and my man is black and we couldnt care less what anyone else thinks about it if they dont like it dont look

For all the new people... Welcome to PTO and to the IRR forum.. this is a great place full of love support and information...

Hugs,
Kat



~ Love is blind and people are people no matter the color of their skin.. Just remember that Ignorance is bliss and so are the people that are against IRR... ~

There will always be someone, somewhere, with something negative to say! My Baby and I are so happy when we are together! I think we truly must GLOW! Black or White... whom ever can't look at us and see we are in Love and Very Happy, plus Christian folk, well they must be blind or absolutely miserable within themselves! We have people of all ages, breeds and sex stare at us and absorb our positive energy! It makes us smile all that much more!:heart:

honey, i get the very same thing. i just don't care what otha people think. As long as he treats u right, that should be all that matters. After all, YOU are the one with him not anyone else. If they can't accept that then that is their problem. They should jus b happy that u have someone who loves & cares 4 u 4 who u r. After all, everyone deserves a fair chance in life, & if it jus happens 2 b a man of a different race, then so b it. And as far as the black women thinking that we r taking black men away from them, then maybe they should "check" themselves And the way they treat black men. My husband is black & i couldn't b more proud 2 b his wife even if he was polk-a dotted. lol

Its not about how one race may or may not treat their men, but its about what that particular man is attracted too. Cause there are just as many black men who are out there with married and or date black women..

My finace is black and I am white...but we don't see our skin color...we see each other's soul! We got together after he was locked up...but we already knew each other an have dated before several years ago. My parents aren't freaked out by the fact that he's black...they are more upset because he is in prison. They don't know him like I do. He has two children by other women and he didn't find out about them until he was locked up. They are his reason for living and he is so determined to get out and be a good role model for them. He wants a better life and if I can help him at all with that then I am proud to. We plan to get married when he gets out and I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with him. Everyone tells me that he's just saying whatever and using me for money and a place to live when he gets out. I send him money because I want to, and he doesn't ask for it unless he really needs something. He came back into my life when I needed someone and he needed me...so we are strong for each other. I understand what a lot of you are going through and we all just need to be here for each other to get through it. Stay strong sisters!:yes::thumbsup:

I used to feel about as stongly as a white man in the KKK about black men and white women together but lately my views have changed drastically. When i would see a white woman with a brotha it used to turn my stomach and make me want to get violent. I am growing as a human being and now i understand love is love regardless of race, sexual preference, religion etc...
I still do have a problem with a small percentage of white women that exclusively date black men because they think it buys them a ghetto pass and bcuz they have mixed kids they think it's okay to say 'nigga' conversationally, for the records ladies, that is UNACCEPTABLE. I also still have issues with black men that date exclusively white because they are weak and can't handle the strength of a sista, or bcuz they think it buys them a pass to the suburbs. Anyways, i digress. the fact of the matter is love who you love. shit, that's what makes the world go 'round.

ok here is what i think..... If your are lookin for everyone to he happy and accept your relationship ur never gonna be happy because theres always someone who thinks you can do "better" shit if u ask me my man is better then any white, mexican, asian whatever kind of man so to the ppl (even my family) who think i can do better they need to just live their life and stop tryin to live everyone elses... U should just love your man and be happy for the things you guys got and if ppl dont like what ur relationship is then *uck them cause their not the ones who is in the relationship, u feel what iam sayin??? So just keep bein happy with your man cause nothing NOBODY says should ever make you feel like hes not good enough for you, the only time you should judge that is when he does something to you that makes YOU feel like hes not good enough for you....... stay strong

I would like to say I have been talking with a Big Strong Black Man. Since 2000 he got my address from my step dad. He knew I was white and I had no clue what color he was, untill I got my first photo of him and I must Say I had already fallen for the guy that had been keeping on my toes with his letters he was truthfull about why he was there and how long he had been down. Just keep this in mind any one can play you no matter how truthful you think they are with you. Mine proposed marriage and wanted kids. But he was released the first time and was to come and spend time with me and I took him to see his kids.After I spent so much time and Money on him.He got what he wanted for the time being, then I got a call from some girl that told me her boyfriend and my friend were in the same jail. I couldn't blame the girl for calling so I told her my address, and he wrote to tell me a line and why he was locked up. So needless to say he never got any money again. I just want you ladies out there know no matter how they say they love you please wait to see how they are untill they get out. No matter how you look there is someone out there that loves you the trick is to wait and he will find you. Don't give them a place to parole to let them find a family member to go to. Then you will see their true side. Yes I had people stare at me Because He was Black and I was white. So what people that stare at you are just showing you they don't understand just ask them if you can help them after you say that they usualy don't look again. And there will be some guards that will have a problem with mixed couples but it is not there job to judge,they are there to do their job,and they can get in trouble if you turn them in and they have prior complaints. But most part the C O in Mi Are very good. Feel free to reply.

So what people that stare at you are just showing you they don't understand just ask them if you can help them after you say that they usualy don't look again. And there will be some guards that will have a problem with mixed couples but it is not there job to judge,they are there to do their job,and they can get in trouble if you turn them in and they have prior complaints. But most part the C O in Mi Are very good. Feel free to reply.

I used to feel about as stongly as a white man in the KKK about black men and white women together but lately my views have changed drastically. When i would see a white woman with a brotha it used to turn my stomach and make me want to get violent. I am growing as a human being and now i understand love is love regardless of race, sexual preference, religion etc...
I still do have a problem with a small percentage of white women that exclusively date black men because they think it buys them a ghetto pass and bcuz they have mixed kids they think it's okay to say 'nigga' conversationally, for the records ladies, that is UNACCEPTABLE. I also still have issues with black men that date exclusively white because they are weak and can't handle the strength of a sista, or bcuz they think it buys them a pass to the suburbs. Anyways, i digress. the fact of the matter is love who you love. shit, that's what makes the world go 'round.

Did not know that anyone wanted a pass to the Ghetto..or that nigga was acceptable for anyone to say..oh well maybe I am just too white to get it...love is love what difference does it make if he only likes white women? Or she only likes black men..all people have things that they are attracted too..but me being from the south was always frowned upon to be with another race so I chose an Iranian and a Dominican and yes I do have some of the most beautiful mixed children.... and I stay in the country so I do not deal with or care what people think really...

Did not know that anyone wanted a pass to the Ghetto..or that nigga was acceptable for anyone to say..oh well maybe I am just too white to get it...love is love what difference does it make if he only likes white women? Or she only likes black men..all people have things that they are attracted too..but me being from the south was always frowned upon to be with another race so I chose an Iranian and a Dominican and yes I do have some of the most beautiful mixed children.... and I stay in the country so I do not deal with or care what people think really...
Sweetheart i think that u misunderstood the meaning of my post. I have become great friends with two women who are white and only date black men, not bcuz they r trying 2 b sumthin they're not but bcuz they are only attracted to blk men(i can agree with that) but on the flipside there are some white women that are either unhappy with themselves or their heritage that date black to make some sort of statement or to fit in with other women(going as far as getting braids and saying shit like power to da ppl). I recommend a sampling of all races personally and i've had pretty much every one except asian (unless east indian counts) It just frustrates me to kno that some women think that by dating someone of a certain race that they are now of that race 'by proxy'. I would be a liar if i said that we are all the same bcuz we are not. Love definitely does come in all colors, but some women should reevaluate their choices and their motivations behind them.

P.S. it's really not cool for ANYONE to say nigga, but it's particularly unacceptable if u are white-that's just from an american history standpoint

Personally, I say date/love/marry whoever you want--if other people don't understand or agree, it's not your problem. It has no bearing on my life if people have a problem that I am in a IR relationship. For some reason it is one thing that has never concerned me (if people don't like it) as long as they don't bother me about it. I never had any friends or family members who were bothered by it, and very few even comment on it in any way. Usually just to ask me if we ever had any problems because of it.

Well there is about every race in my family so I don't know what it means to stick to my race... I guess being mixed I have a couple options.
I don't need a black man for my supposed Ghetto pass because long before I dated black men I grew up in the same ghetto and it isn't cute to want to be ghetto...and despite what some may think is the ghetto let me take you on a road trip through Oakland.. get up out of that shit and do better with your life. I was raised in projects and by all means I be damned if my kids will be.
As for black men wanting a "weak" white girl to give them money and head... they were sadly mistaken by thinking that was going to be me and I would b damned if I let them call me snow bunny or other such "white girl" names.... then of course it comes to the fact that I am not ALL white--- but I am pale so call me what you will.
That "N" shit wouldn't come out of my mouth and it really isn't cute coming out of black folks mouth either IMO.
Now I can't stand a white girl that lets herself get dogged out by black men trying to be cute.. just as I can't stand when my black women who dates white men for money.
People need to realize while those stereotypes may happen.. some people just simply love the other person despite the color of their skin.
I also have had to fight a lot growing up for my decision to date black man. I don't have a problem getting down with any female who wants to disrespect my relationship.

Oh yeah... and I think only sistah's can look cute in braids... if need be do two french braids but please leave the rest alone. Thanks for bringing that up lovely. Oh yeah... no throwing your fist up with power to the people. :)

Yes I have seen plenty of women.. white, asian, latina, and even black that want a ghetto pass who know damn well they won't go in at night or unaccompanied by their man.

for me i have never had many problems with people ,me beinq a white woman in a interacial relationship! my fiances ex wife has made comments about us thouqh such as " & to think his next wife will be a white woman" && " i cant even believe he has a baby with a white bixch" ... It dont bother me thouqh..Our love isnt based on our colors! its based on love && always has been!

the world is mixed with so many "flavas" as I see it .we [the world] is a meltinq pot as they say..true love is color BLiND! :heart:

this is the topic that I have way too many comments for, so I will just say this : In my country ladies do have braids, and many more than just 2. I dont think we are 'taking' something that is black or trying to look like black ladies. Until I came to usa, didnt know thats the way you are supose to look at it... I allways had my hair braided but never even knew that in some countries you are looking at something that 'black ppl' do. that's something 'theirs'.
ppl need look outside of 'their' world.... there are ppl everywhere in the world, living and growing up poor... without much education and surounded by lots of criminal, and its not necessary called ghetto! I hope that I didnt hurt anyones feelings or anything like that, cuz that was never my intention. I just wanted to say that, there are the same things everywhere in the world, so it doesnt mean that belongs to ONLY ONE culture...
as far as me and him, being mixed couples, I dont care and he dont care either and thats all what it matters. my heart chose to love him, and his chose mine, so... why would I stress about someone who is not even part of our relationship! its me and him... thats it! no one else around so... and if you dont like, well thats your problem. not ours.:cool:

okay, I Am A Black Female, And One Of My Good Friends Is A White Female, But We Are total Opposites...she Only Dates Black Men And I Only Date White Men...so Do I Have A Problem With It, Heck No!!! I Say Get It While The Getting Is Good, And He Makes You Happy Try To Make It Work Regardless Of What Close-minded People Think Only God Can Judge You...

Also do you run into black women who get upset that you are seeing black men, acting like we are taking their men away from them?

Well, that's an interesting comment. I am an older black woman who has a son 16. In order to undestand the feelings of black women you would have to try to understand what is like to be a black woman. You love who you love and I understand that is your business. But far too many marriages within the Black race fail, it appears our men and woman cannot relate to each other. History pulled us apart, our families were not given the opportunities to learn the tools needed to survive as families.

Through centuries of bondage, that sense of connection was sorely tested, first by the cruelities and enforced separations of slavery, later by racism, economic struggle, and misguided social welfare policies. Yet the love and loyalty within so many African American families endured, becoming a mainstay of our existance in a hostile world.

Despite this proud heritage, there is a crisis of intimacy in the Black community. We are alarmed at the distrust and hostility we are witnessing among Black men and women. Although the problems of intimacy and commitment between Black men and women are not new, they have been discussed only in whisper and behind closed doors for too long. We have been reluctant to air interpersonal conflict publicly, fearing that any admission of difficulties may be used to further divide our people. - Dr. Hopson

So, do we want to see a black woman and a black man make it, yes. Do we want to see successful black families, yes. Do we want to see a black mommie and daddy together with their children, yes. Do we want to reduce the amount of babies mommas, yes. As black woman we struggle ( as other woman) with raising our children but I believe the statistics of single parent homes within black families are too damn high! Why? We have been taught to not understand how to relate to each other.

You love who you love and as long as its genuine then keep loving each other. Be it white, black, asian, hispanic or whatever.

But try to understand the discontent you my see from Black woman (I can only speak for myself) comes from a deeper place. It about our race, us as a people, our children, our families and our history.

Frezell:

Thanks for that. Sometimes the only thing that sustains me is the certain knowledge that none of this will matter in a couple of generations.

For now, though, it's a bumpy ride.

FD

Well my boyfriend told me that the only reason parents or loved ones bug sooooo much is to get you to give in just to make them happy ... so dont and ppl u dont care about how cares what they think anyway....as for black woman i dont have that problem they dont care because where i live there are alot of black woman dating white men !!

we are all the same on the inside, all our organs are in the same place and they are the same COLOR, so it shouldnt bother no one male or female black or white to see someone with someone outside of thier race

My family is very judgmental of my relationships. I don't choose my relationships based on skin color but I do find myself gravitating more towards black men. I love their presence and the way they carry themselves. My parents wish I would find a doctor or a lawyer or something, like every parent wishes. I am a full scholarship college student and I have a lot going for me. They think I am wasting myself on a man in jail. Marquice may be in jail but he is an amazing man. He has a great heart and he would do anything for me. I am happy and that is all that should matter. Race or situation shouldn't have anything to do with it.

Well, my family is supercool about the race thing. My mom and dad were raised in the North, and it just isn't the same up there (at least not where they are from). They didn't bat an eye about Jerome being black... it's the jail thing that they don't like... But even if my family didn't like his race, I would let them know that they could call me when they got over it. Jerome and I are together, and that's that. We are married, and marriage is hard enough if everybody is supporting you! lol. My dad wanted me to divorce Jerome for getting put in prison, and I told him, "Dad, I can't take your negativity during this hard time. If you are going to continue badmouthing my husband, then I don't want to talk to you, and I don't want you saying anything negative to my children either." He respected that, and I know that Jerome will eventually win the favor of everyone in my family because he is a truly wonderful person. You cannot try to make other people happy or you will sell yourself out for others.
As for the question about black women getting mad. I have definitely dealt with that. I have gotten a lot of bad looks from black women, so I asked a friend of mine, and she said, "It's just that there are so many black men trying to be rappers or in prison that when you find a good one, you don't want him to be outside the race." I can kinda see that point, but if that's the argument, why not just find a white guy? I don't own white guys because I'm white, and black women don't own black men because they're black.
But after reading Frezell's post, I have a new outlook on it. Now, if a black woman gives me a dirty look, I will know that it comes from something deeper... it's not as superficial as I once thought.

subscribing to thread...

I myself prefer white or asian women myself. Most black women are not very attractive no offence. The only shitty thing for me is most good looking white women don't like black men.

Oh well I will find my gem!

I hope you find her, too!! Real soon!!

I used to feel about as stongly as a white man in the KKK about black men and white women together but lately my views have changed drastically. When i would see a white woman with a brotha it used to turn my stomach and make me want to get violent. I am growing as a human being and now i understand love is love regardless of race, sexual preference, religion etc...
I still do have a problem with a small percentage of white women that exclusively date black men because they think it buys them a ghetto pass and bcuz they have mixed kids they think it's okay to say 'nigga' conversationally, for the records ladies, that is UNACCEPTABLE. I also still have issues with black men that date exclusively white because they are weak and can't handle the strength of a sista, or bcuz they think it buys them a pass to the suburbs. Anyways, i digress. the fact of the matter is love who you love. shit, that's what makes the world go 'round.



does that mean I have to worry if you see me with my hubby? ;) (JK)

but I just have to say, you are right, no matter what race you are, you should NEVER say stuff like that or FORGET where are you coming from.. and like someone else said here, if you have mixed kids, of course, they will get the best from 'both' worlds'!

Well, that's an interesting comment. I am an older black woman who has a son 16. In order to undestand the feelings of black women you would have to try to understand what is like to be a black woman. You love who you love and I understand that is your business. But far too many marriages within the Black race fail, it appears our men and woman cannot relate to each other. History pulled us apart, our families were not given the opportunities to learn the tools needed to survive as families.

Through centuries of bondage, that sense of connection was sorely tested, first by the cruelities and enforced separations of slavery, later by racism, economic struggle, and misguided social welfare policies. Yet the love and loyalty within so many African American families endured, becoming a mainstay of our existance in a hostile world.

Despite this proud heritage, there is a crisis of intimacy in the Black community. We are alarmed at the distrust and hostility we are witnessing among Black men and women. Although the problems of intimacy and commitment between Black men and women are not new, they have been discussed only in whisper and behind closed doors for too long. We have been reluctant to air interpersonal conflict publicly, fearing that any admission of difficulties may be used to further divide our people. - Dr. Hopson
So, do we want to see a black woman and a black man make it, yes. Do we want to see successful black families, yes. Do we want to see a black mommie and daddy together with their children, yes. Do we want to reduce the amount of babies mommas, yes. As black woman we struggle ( as other woman) with raising our children but I believe the statistics of single parent homes within black families are too damn high! Why? We have been taught to not understand how to relate to each other.

You love who you love and as long as its genuine then keep loving each other. Be it white, black, asian, hispanic or whatever.

But try to understand the discontent you my see from Black woman (I can only speak for myself) comes from a deeper place. It about our race, us as a people, our children, our families and our history.

THANK YOU for going little bit more in details about this, even though I knew it was 'something else' for that 'dirty look' when they see us together. :idea:
now, is it more white people dont like that mix, or black? just wonder:confused:

*HUGZ* ;)

my father told me that he could support me but not my black baby...then she came and it turned his world around...he is still like I don't like my white daughter with black guys...my mom doesn't care who it is as long as I'm happy....she's been telling people for years that none of her kids were going to have all white babies...My Colby is a beautiful black man and I love him because he's Colby not because he gave me a ghetto pass....I got that all by myself....Love you Baby....

Like Colby's wife said, you don't have to have a black man to get a ghetto pass, and you don't have to be a sista to be strong... not even strong willed, stubborn, or loud... And I don't think that anybody should say "nigga". That word was originally made up to bring black people down, and I think it is absolutely ridiculous that some people now feel that only black people can say it.... whatever.... Oh, and as for wearing braids - I don't wear braids in my hair and never have, but I think braids and dreads look good on all different kinds of people, and it's definitely not cool to say that only black people can do braids just because they started them. If that's the case, then white people started jeans, heals, and all kinds of stuff that I see black women wearing all the time. Double standard, lil bit?

Well, that's an interesting comment. I am an older black woman who has a son 16. In order to undestand the feelings of black women you would have to try to understand what is like to be a black woman. You love who you love and I understand that is your business. But far too many marriages within the Black race fail, it appears our men and woman cannot relate to each other. History pulled us apart, our families were not given the opportunities to learn the tools needed to survive as families.

Through centuries of bondage, that sense of connection was sorely tested, first by the cruelities and enforced separations of slavery, later by racism, economic struggle, and misguided social welfare policies. Yet the love and loyalty within so many African American families endured, becoming a mainstay of our existance in a hostile world.

Despite this proud heritage, there is a crisis of intimacy in the Black community. We are alarmed at the distrust and hostility we are witnessing among Black men and women. Although the problems of intimacy and commitment between Black men and women are not new, they have been discussed only in whisper and behind closed doors for too long. We have been reluctant to air interpersonal conflict publicly, fearing that any admission of difficulties may be used to further divide our people. - Dr. Hopson
So, do we want to see a black woman and a black man make it, yes. Do we want to see successful black families, yes. Do we want to see a black mommie and daddy together with their children, yes. Do we want to reduce the amount of babies mommas, yes. As black woman we struggle ( as other woman) with raising our children but I believe the statistics of single parent homes within black families are too damn high! Why? We have been taught to not understand how to relate to each other.

You love who you love and as long as its genuine then keep loving each other. Be it white, black, asian, hispanic or whatever.

But try to understand the discontent you my see from Black woman (I can only speak for myself) comes from a deeper place. It about our race, us as a people, our children, our families and our history.


Frezell, What you stated is something that alot of people would never have had the chance to hear, my mother in law (of 16yrs even though me and her son have gone separate ways) explained something similar to me many years ago when i first got with her son. It gave me a better understanding of not only her, but history. I also got the same knowledge from my Dad as we are Irish and what our history was about and how strongly he felt about this. I agreed with everything that was said to me, but i believe this empowered me not only as a woman (in a mans world) but as a mother of mixed race heritage children, and what i see and feel when our families get together (jamaican and irish) is that, that is history initself, not only showing how far society has come but how united families are regardless of their views and standpoints.:)

Frezell, What you stated is something that alot of people would never have had the chance to hear, my mother in law (of 16yrs even though me and her son have gone separate ways) explained something similar to me many years ago when i first got with her son. It gave me a better understanding of not only her, but history. I also got the same knowledge from my Dad as we are Irish and what our history was about and how strongly he felt about this. I agreed with everything that was said to me, but i believe this empowered me not only as a woman (in a mans world) but as a mother of mixed race heritage children, and what i see and feel when our families get together (jamaican and irish) is that, that is history initself, not only showing how far society has come but how united families are regardless of their views and standpoints.:)


but at the same time it's like that for white people too....we get it worse because they think that we're breaking some code as white woman that we are to only date our race....there are alot of baby mama's in the white race (hell I think my mom started it, she has three baby daddy's)..I'm don't judge people on who they love, it's the way they act when they have a person from the different race....white girls trying to be black girls, black men trying to be white boys, white girls trying to be mexican. Its all out of text....you can't help who you love i get that, but be yourself. I don't just date one race....the only other boy that I would spend my life with is a white guy.....people need to grow up and look outside the box...Love you Colby.

Like Colby's wife said, you don't have to have a black man to get a ghetto pass, and you don't have to be a sista to be strong... not even strong willed, stubborn, or loud... And I don't think that anybody should say "nigga". That word was originally made up to bring black people down, and I think it is absolutely ridiculous that some people now feel that only black people can say it.... whatever.... Oh, and as for wearing braids - I don't wear braids in my hair and never have, but I think braids and dreads look good on all different kinds of people, and it's definitely not cool to say that only black people can do braids just because they started them. If that's the case, then white people started jeans, heals, and all kinds of stuff that I see black women wearing all the time. Double standard, lil bit?

i totally agree !!! when i lived in Ohio with my white ex-husband (where there was like 1 black person in the whole town) i used to put my 3 little white daughters hair in braids (you know like top of the head half way back 10 of them) people would be like why do you do that to their hair it is so ethnic--Now that i am with a black man and have two more little girls people say where did you get there hair braided i do it they look all shocked ---who i am and what i do is just ME doesn't matter if my man is black, white, mexican or what ever i will be who i want to be and act accordingly------ and as for the white men who say i turned my back on them think about this * who is taking care of my 3 white daughter? a black man- imagine that!!!!

Oooh, Jackie you're so blessed he'll be home in 13 days! :)

Hey ya'll... I usually don't get into this whole Black/white discussion because I just get irritated w/ all the posts on both sides. BUT today is y'alls lucky day. LOL I've always dated Black men and as a matter of fact, growing up my Black family has always accepted me when white people don't. My own family left me by the wayside for other reasons besides who I dated, and everything I have learned about self-respect, carrying myself like a lady, being strong in the face of adversity, my love for God, my cooking, my cleanliness, my housekeeping and LIFE IN GENERAL, my Black family has taught me. Countless of my friends and neighbors, Grandmas, Aunties, StepMommas and Mommas have all banded together around me and taught me that family is most important and one takes care of another. So for that, I have to give all Respect and Honor to the Black Woman because that's who taught me about life. I haven't really ever had any problems dealing with Sistas because I have never stepped out of myself to be something I'm not - Black. I don't think they have ever felt disrespected or looked at me crazy cuz 9 times out of 10 I'm lookin back at them just as crazy. LOL I don't tan, I don't wear cornrows, I don't dress like a hoochie, or think it's cool to use the "N" word no matter how "down" I might be. I really dislike any white females who totally disrespect the whole Black race by taking advantage of "fads" and what's hip and what's not. But that's a whole 'nother discussion and I'll try to stick to the topic here. All my boyfriend's parents have always accepted me into their families w/ open arms, and my fiance's parent and family have waited for years for us to get married. I consider myself Blessed with the knowledge that has been passed to me over the years and the family that has welcomed me with open arms... R.I.P. Ms. Eunice and Momma Pat... Y'all will alwayz be in my heart...

And thanks ladies for listening....

This is a topic I am not going to touch....today anyway. Just got called a white bitch by a black lady....soooooo, in the interest of not snapping on people who dont deserve it I will reserve my comment.

My man is black and alot younger than me. I am white and have been married to an abusive mexican and a verbely abusive white man. When I look into Micheal's eyes I only see Micheal I don't see his skin color or his age or that he is a felon. He is just my heart, Micheal. I am the happiest I have ever been. He appreciates anything i do for him. Even if it's a few stamps. Whereas the other two took me for granted. It really made me realize that all men are not alike. Mine is mine and I don't care what anyone thinks. If they can't see that I am happy, then they have the problem. I love my BOO BOO!

I could be way wrong and if I am let me say that I am sorry right now. Not my intention to disrespect anyone or not acknowledge the need for this topic..............but..............that being said............................

Is it in any way possible that this exact topic and thread is a part of the reason why there is still some attention on "this type of relationship?"

I mean, have you ever tried something like......................

""OMG............my husband is black.............and he's locked up?" What do you mean? Is that what you see? That's odd, because all I have ever seen is a man who loves me unconditionally..................you should try it sometime.............better yet....let me give you the name of my optometrist so that he can give you an RX for vision like mine-----------you know-------------color blind and people aware."

I know that I am so backwoods, but it floors me that people still make race and color or even status for that matter an issue. For people who make such things an issue in my life or even try..............well..........let's just say that I don't allow them to, even if this means that they have no room in my life. I have more important things to worry about in life than the color of someone's skin, the shape of their eyes, and the digits within their zipcode.

Good Lord! Has anyone seen the price of Gas? Now there's a real problem! I don't think that anyone can afford it...........black, white, premium, or unleaded, you feel me?

In my world white men where violent, I saw my mother get beat by her husband every day he was a white man that I never called my dad, my mother is white my father is Native so I am of a mixed race, but grew up in foster homes in the ghetto....... So who am I, a Native woman that never grew with cultural backround that fit my race, I never wanted a white man because of what I saw growing up, when I was four I decided I wanted a black baby, why? It was something I found beauty in, my step dad died when I was five his mom was a foster mom and she had this african american baby that I fell in love with because of that baby I fell in love with the idea of difference, and due to my growing up backround it stayed with me, my first son's father is Native, my daughter's and the one on the way's father is porta rican and black, basically I grew up being who I was allowed to be no definition just me, but because I saw my mom as a week woman and she gave up on the ones that she should have faught for I don't consider my self white..... .what in my opinion it all comes down to is insecurity, we grow up with these ideas of who we should be and what we should stand for, then there are those like me that don't know what to stand for only know what we don't want to be, and that is WEAK if anyone judges you for being who you are then just consider maybe they are insecure..... I will be the first to admit it I am insecure I don't want to be a weak heartless drug addicted "white" woman like my mother and that is personal against my mother not the white race but to many people take it out on the whole race........ And in the Natvie culture we wear braids too it's not just a as it has been put "black thing" but does anyone look at it that way????? personally I think you just have to have the face and right hair color to rock the braids right.....some people look good others don't no matter what race, just like clothes you just gotta know what looks good on you.....I love my braids... specially bein pregnant don't have to do my hair

Okay I think that was well said, I don't even drive yet and the gas prices are killing me....... you are right aswell, I haven't even considered my mans race, just the fact that we have some time to do I don't see color as an issue LOVE IS LOVE personal preference is all it is, Like I said in my post difference is what I fell in love with probably because I knew at such a young age I was going to grow up different I neve had an issue with color....... CUDOS TO YOU :)I could be way wrong and if I am let me say that I am sorry right now. Not my intention to disrespect anyone or not acknowledge the need for this topic..............but..............that being said............................

Is it in any way possible that this exact topic and thread is a part of the reason why there is still some attention on "this type of relationship?"

I mean, have you ever tried something like......................

""OMG............my husband is black.............and he's locked up?" What do you mean? Is that what you see? That's odd, because all I have ever seen is a man who loves me unconditionally..................you should try it sometime.............better yet....let me give you the name of my optometrist so that he can give you an RX for vision like mine-----------you know-------------color blind and people aware."

I know that I am so backwoods, but it floors me that people still make race and color or even status for that matter an issue. For people who make such things an issue in my life or even try..............well..........let's just say that I don't allow them to, even if this means that they have no room in my life. I have more important things to worry about in life than the color of someone's skin, the shape of their eyes, and the digits within their zipcode.

Good Lord! Has anyone seen the price of Gas? Now there's a real problem! I don't think that anyone can afford it...........black, white, premium, or unleaded, you feel me?

In my world white men where violent, I saw my mother get beat by her husband every day he was a white man that I never called my dad, my mother is white my father is Native so I am of a mixed race, but grew up in foster homes in the ghetto....... So who am I, a Native woman that never grew with cultural backround that fit my race, I never wanted a white man because of what I saw growing up, when I was four I decided I wanted a black baby, why? It was something I found beauty in, my step dad died when I was five his mom was a foster mom and she had this african american baby that I fell in love with because of that baby I fell in love with the idea of difference, and due to my growing up backround it stayed with me, my first son's father is Native, my daughter's and the one on the way's father is porta rican and black, basically I grew up being who I was allowed to be no definition just me, but because I saw my mom as a week woman and she gave up on the ones that she should have faught for I don't consider my self white..... .what in my opinion it all comes down to is insecurity, we grow up with these ideas of who we should be and what we should stand for, then there are those like me that don't know what to stand for only know what we don't want to be, and that is WEAK if anyone judges you for being who you are then just consider maybe they are insecure..... I will be the first to admit it I am insecure I don't want to be a weak heartless drug addicted "white" woman like my mother and that is personal against my mother not the white race but to many people take it out on the whole race........ And in the Natvie culture we wear braids too it's not just a as it has been put "black thing" but does anyone look at it that way????? personally I think you just have to have the face and right hair color to rock the braids right.....some people look good others don't no matter what race, just like clothes you just gotta know what looks good on you.....I love my braids... specially bein pregnant don't have to do my hair

I think that your opinion is right for you. We can all have different viewpoints while still kicking it, getting along, and so forth. Just like race............we are all different and for different reasons.

Way to acknowledge the reasons behind your feelings too. That's the business. You are like, "It is what it is............this is why it is.......and again...........it is what it is.

Props.

Honesty and respectful communication. Two of my favorite things in life.

Confused... do we not care about differences, or do we not call ourselves white because we've seen weak white women??

Don't mean to be controversial, but my mother was beaten by my white father, and my mother is white. I am white. I call myself white. Beat me and see what happens. See if you see weakness. You won't.

My husbands black uncle beat his black aunt. His uncle was black. Jerome calls himself black. I've hit him before out of anger (not proud of it), and he did not hit me back.

I don't think it's cool to denounce a race because of one person's actions.
I like differences. The world would be boring without differences. I acknowledge and appreciate differences, but many differences have a lot more to do with the inside of a person than the outside, and I think that is a fact that should be recognized.


AntsGirl, I don't know who you're referring to, but I have seen threads for "black women in interracial relationships", along with many other combinations of races in relationships. So, if this type of thread is causing attention to be brought to this type of relationship, then why aren't those types of threads bringing attention to those types of relationships? I think the reason that there is so much attention on this type of relationship is because there is a lot more anymosity towards it, plain and simple.

This is a forum for interracial relationships. We come here to discuss situations uniquely related to interracial relationships, so of course race, color, etc. will be discussed often. It's not that anybody on here sees their SO only for their color. I honestly sometimes forget that my husband is not of the same race as me. We fit together so well... But it's when I hear of bad reactions or when I get questions about our relationship that I am reminded, "Oh yeah. He is black." lol. I tell people that I don't see that most of the time. I just see the man that I love, my other half. That's it.

But this is just a discussion board, and an interracial relationships one at that. So, I think you might run into a couple discussions like this. ("Like, OMG!....)

P.S. I would like the number to your optometrist... never heard of an eyedoctor making anyone "people aware"... he must be amazing!

I'am not saying that I have something against the white race but I do not call myself white, becasue I am not all white, my father is Native and if you read all of my post you would not be so confused about my "opinion" I am color blind I don't consider color, only who the person is, if you where mixed with another race would you only consider yourself white?? that's pretty much what it comes down to really I claim what I feel is my strength I acknowledge what makes me strong, for me to consider myelf as a native woman allows me to see where the strength comes from, I love my mother very much.. how I saw it growing up was I did not want to be like her and in that I developed not wanting to be "anything" like her, honestly if you really are confused about what I said about how I feel and what my "opinion" is then send me a message and maybe I can help you understand.... I think your post was pretty much attacking that I don't call myself white as if thats all I am!!!


[quote=MizJohnson;3808795]Confused... do we not care about differences, or do we not call ourselves white because we've seen weak white women??

Don't mean to be controversial, but my mother was beaten by my white father, and my mother is white. I am white. I call myself white. Beat me and see what happens. See if you see weakness. You won't.

My husbands black uncle beat his black aunt. His uncle was black. Jerome calls himself black. I've hit him before out of anger (not proud of it), and he did not hit me back.

I don't think it's cool to denounce a race because of one person's actions.
I like differences. The world would be boring without differences. I acknowledge and appreciate differences, but many differences have a lot more to do with the inside of a person than the outside, and I think that is a fact that should be recognized.

quote]

But even if my family didn't like his race, I would let them know that they could call me when they got over it.

If I ever was tempted to doubt my gut, this puts the matter to rest once and for all and forever... you rock.

AntsGirl, I don't know who you're referring to, but I have seen threads for "black women in interracial relationships", along with many other combinations of races in relationships. So, if this type of thread is causing attention to be brought to this type of relationship, then why aren't those types of threads bringing attention to those types of relationships? I think the reason that there is so much attention on this type of relationship is because there is a lot more anymosity towards it, plain and simple.

This is a forum for interracial relationships. We come here to discuss situations uniquely related to interracial relationships, so of course race, color, etc. will be discussed often. It's not that anybody on here sees their SO only for their color. I honestly sometimes forget that my husband is not of the same race as me. We fit together so well... But it's when I hear of bad reactions or when I get questions about our relationship that I am reminded, "Oh yeah. He is black." lol. I tell people that I don't see that most of the time. I just see the man that I love, my other half. That's it.

But this is just a discussion board, and an interracial relationships one at that. So, I think you might run into a couple discussions like this. ("Like, OMG!....)

P.S. I would like the number to your optometrist... never heard of an eyedoctor making anyone "people aware"... he must be amazing!

For the record, I am aware of the valid points that you brought up, and was only bringing up the possibilty of another perspective..........which is only a perspective based on an individual's opinion. Never said I was right. Pretty sure that I didn't bash, and even disclosed my intentions at the beginning of my post just in case I came off as being out of line.:nospeak:


BTW, props on bringing back our "white herritage" and the Valley Girl with your "LOMG" comment.:thumbsup:

Was that meant to be a joke towards me, or did I detect a little sarcasim? Serious about the optometrist, or more sarcasim? :confused:

Not wanting to make any assumptons on you which is why I ask. To clear things up, I was being Sarcastic about my Optometrist comment, and it seems as if you don't need an eye doctor anyway........for your vision seems pretty clear to me.:cool:

Yes- this is an interracial forum, I can read (even between the lines) and I do know that there may be "that type of talk here.":eek:

I also know that we, as a society, are not as "accepting" as we think that we are.............not only did you make this point............but that was the point to my very post.:idea:

My meaning was the fact that we even have this forum lets us know that we (as a whole) are smade to be felt in a way that is "less desirable or accepted" by others based on our own skin color, or the skin color of the people that we are involved with. (Friendships, relationships, whatever.)

So, you see, it would seem as if we both not only share one of the same views, but we also both share a love for sarcasim..........maybe even making a few wrong assumptions about others. We have a few things in common and should be "friends" in no time, if we both just take the time to listen a bit closer and talk a little bit softer.

BTW, I came to this forum for a reason........and it was not to bash. If I did not commuicate clearly enough in my first post which led to assumtions or misconceptions, I take responsibility for that and will pick my words more carefully the next time. If I seemed negative or not clear in my message, once again, I am sorry. Gave the impression that I was "clueless" as to what forum I had landed in and surprised by the conversations transpiring..............well..............this is not the case what-so-ever.

I don't waste my time worrying about what black girls think, what white girls think. I have better things to do than worry about why I'm with a black man. But I do worry about what his family thinks and what mine will think. I'm a big family person and am always worrying. But I do agree with Ant's Girl, except for one point: Just like race............we are all different and for different reasons.

If you wanted to get really technical, we are all the same. Yup. Pull our skin up and we have the same bones and liver and heart and lungs. lmbo. Sorry just had to put in that corny-ness.

Thats the truth we are all the same inside, and to go even further we are all equipped with the same emotions and feelings, we just have different ways of dealing with and reacting too certain situations.... small example what makes me happy could make you sad, and what makes me sad could make you mad, either way you still have the SAME emotions.. I just had to say that.... I don't waste my time worrying about what black girls think, what white girls think. I have better things to do than worry about why I'm with a black man. But I do worry about what his family thinks and what mine will think. I'm a big family person and am always worrying. But I do agree with Ant's Girl, except for one point: Just like race............we are all different and for different reasons.

If you wanted to get really technical, we are all the same. Yup. Pull our skin up and we have the same bones and liver and heart and lungs. lmbo. Sorry just had to put in that corny-ness.

I'am not saying that I have something against the white race but I do not call myself white, becasue I am not all white, my father is Native and if you read all of my post you would not be so confused about my "opinion" I am color blind I don't consider color, only who the person is,


You just did it again... this is why I'm confused... or maybe this is where YOU are confused. You say that you don't see color, but then you only claim your native side because you saw your mother as weak and she was white. Therefore, from where I'm standing, you don't call yourself white because you think white=weak. I'm not saying that you should say that you are all white, but I don't think that you should only claim the native part of your heritage, either. You are both. That's all I'm saying.

[quote=Meko'sAngel;3809323]
if you where mixed with another race would you only consider yourself white??
no. But if I was mixed with white and another race, I would not consider myself only the other race, either. I would recognize both sides of my heritage.


that's pretty much what it comes down to really I claim what I feel is my strength I acknowledge what makes me strong, for me to consider myelf as a native woman allows me to see where the strength comes from,

Call me crazy, but it really seems like you think that the only reason you are strong is because you have something else in you besides being white. My father is Norwegian and Chippawa Indian; my mother is Irish and Scottish. I consider myself to be white, and I consider myself to be a very strong person. I just hate it when people assume that white women are weak. There are weak women in every culture and color, just as there are strong women in every culture and color.

I love my mother very much.. how I saw it growing up was I did not want to be like her and in that I developed not wanting to be "anything" like her,


I can actually relate to you on this in some ways. I have grown up not wanting to be anything like my mother, too. She used men for money and attention, so I pretty much started seeing success and money as a turn-off in men because I didn't want to appear to be a gold digger. It got me into a lot of trouble because I was only attracted to underachievers, but that's another story....

honestly if you really are confused about what I said about how I feel and what my "opinion" is then send me a message and maybe I can help you understand.... I think your post was pretty much attacking that I don't call myself white as if thats all I am!!!


You can call it attacking if you want to. I definitely do not like it when I see people assuming that white woman = weak woman, and I think that if you will go as far as to deny half of your own blood, that's pretty severe racism IMO.

If you're confused about that, feel free to PM me. I'm no longer confused... just disappointed.

For the record, I am aware of the valid points that you brought up, and was only bringing up the possibilty of another perspective..........which is only a perspective based on an individual's opinion. Never said I was right. Pretty sure that I didn't bash, and even disclosed my intentions at the beginning of my post just in case I came off as being out of line.:nospeak:


BTW, props on bringing back our "white herritage" and the Valley Girl with your "LOMG" comment.:thumbsup:

Was that meant to be a joke towards me, or did I detect a little sarcasim? Serious about the optometrist, or more sarcasim? :confused:

Yeah, it was sarcasm, sarcasm, and more sarcasm... lol.
I thought that you were coming on here and basically trying to tell a bunch of girls to stop asking stupid questions and maybe we wouldn't get so much negative attention... Even with the disclaimer at the beginning of your post, you still came off as a bit condescending IMO. Sorry if I took you the wrong way.

Not wanting to make any assumptons on you which is why I ask. To clear things up, I was being Sarcastic about my Optometrist comment, and it seems as if you don't need an eye doctor anyway........for your vision seems pretty clear to me.:cool:
Yeah, I caught that sarcasm... that was one of the places I also caught a condescending tone.

Yes- this is an interracial forum, I can read (even between the lines) and I do know that there may be "that type of talk here.":eek:

I also know that we, as a society, are not as "accepting" as we think that we are.............not only did you make this point............but that was the point to my very post.:idea:
I guess I totally missed that. lol. As I said earlier, it seemed like you were just making a point about some white girl asking a stupid question...

My meaning was the fact that we even have this forum lets us know that we (as a whole) are smade to be felt in a way that is "less desirable or accepted" by others based on our own skin color, or the skin color of the people that we are involved with. (Friendships, relationships, whatever.)

So, you see, it would seem as if we both not only share one of the same views, but we also both share a love for sarcasim..........maybe even making a few wrong assumptions about others. We have a few things in common and should be "friends" in no time, if we both just take the time to listen a bit closer and talk a little bit softer.

Cool.:thumbsup: (seriously, I'm not being sarcastic this time)

BTW, I came to this forum for a reason........and it was not to bash. If I did not commuicate clearly enough in my first post which led to assumtions or misconceptions, I take responsibility for that and will pick my words more carefully the next time. If I seemed negative or not clear in my message, once again, I am sorry. Gave the impression that I was "clueless" as to what forum I had landed in and surprised by the conversations transpiring..............well..............this is not the case what-so-ever.

Cool. Thanks for clarifying. I knew that you knew where you were, which was why I was surprised when you said something along the lines of "Maybe this type of conversation is the reason that this type of relationship gets so much negative attention".

Anyway, it's all good. No hard feelings here. ;)

Iam sorry that you feel the need to disect everything that I feel about who I am, the truth is that that's not why I explianed who I was in the first place I was coming from a view of some people have emotional reasons as to why they choose to love who they love, really I am who I am call me racist if you want to but what you say will never change how I feel inside, it's kind of petty to have the odacity to disect who a person is because thats how they where raised to feel or that they chose to feel that way, did I SAY I was proud of the way I feel, no I am not it took me 26 years to figure out what the real reason is that I get offended when I am called white, like I said before it has nothing to do with the white race it has everything to do with my mother.......I deny a part of me because I am not proud of who my mother was to me...... Don't be so quick to judge it's not your place to tell me who I should be......

A friendly reminder here...
This thread is about White Females with Black Men.
Please stay on topic.
The off-topic "back-and-forth" between members must stop here.
Thank you. :)

I apolagize, I felt the need to say how I felt due to the fact.. that's why I posted originally to eplain why I prefer black men.....This is supposed to be a place for support, not criticism, I probably should have stayed to myself.....

Miz Johnson-

Thanks for the reply, the honesty, and helping to resolve ouor differences. I know that the moderator instructed us to stay on topic, (Black men, white woman) but I did not want to acknowledge the fact that two adults had a misunderstanding, addressed it appropriately, took responsibility for whatever they needed to take responsibility for, and moved on. I have seen way worse without resolution.

Anyway, girl, thanks again and I look forward to talk to you soon.

P.S.- Thie thread and its subject does apply to me, which is why came into thie forum in the first place.

Everyone have a safe and happy holiday.

This is supposed to be a place for support, not criticism,(exactly) I probably should have stayed to myself.....
No, not stay to yourself...
We just have to be mindful that posts don't have a tone-of-voice and may be misunderstood by other members. :)


Miz Johnson-

Thanks for the reply, the honesty, and helping to resolve ouor differences. I know that the moderator instructed us to stay on topic, (Black men, white woman) but I did not want to acknowledge the fact that two adults had a misunderstanding, addressed it appropriately, took responsibility for whatever they needed to take responsibility for, and moved on. I have seen way worse without resolution. Yes, and thanks to all who resolved things cordially. :thumbsup: This could have escalated...

Anyway, girl, thanks again and I look forward to talk to you soon.

P.S.- Thie thread and its subject does apply to me, which is why came into thie forum in the first place. Me too.

Everyone have a safe and happy holiday.

I'm glad you all came to terms and ended this as friends.
I've seen too many threads escalate into far worse.

Again...the topic -which applies to a good many of us, myself included- is specifically White Women with Black Men.

Peace & Blessings,
~GG~

Just got back from a family trip over the weekend... :) Glad to see everything is all worked out ;) Have a wonderful day!!!!

Well, that's an interesting comment. I am an older black woman who has a son 16. In order to undestand the feelings of black women you would have to try to understand what is like to be a black woman. You love who you love and I understand that is your business. But far too many marriages within the Black race fail, it appears our men and woman cannot relate to each other. History pulled us apart, our families were not given the opportunities to learn the tools needed to survive as families.

Through centuries of bondage, that sense of connection was sorely tested, first by the cruelities and enforced separations of slavery, later by racism, economic struggle, and misguided social welfare policies. Yet the love and loyalty within so many African American families endured, becoming a mainstay of our existance in a hostile world.

Despite this proud heritage, there is a crisis of intimacy in the Black community. We are alarmed at the distrust and hostility we are witnessing among Black men and women. Although the problems of intimacy and commitment between Black men and women are not new, they have been discussed only in whisper and behind closed doors for too long. We have been reluctant to air interpersonal conflict publicly, fearing that any admission of difficulties may be used to further divide our people. - Dr. Hopson
So, do we want to see a black woman and a black man make it, yes. Do we want to see successful black families, yes. Do we want to see a black mommie and daddy together with their children, yes. Do we want to reduce the amount of babies mommas, yes. As black woman we struggle ( as other woman) with raising our children but I believe the statistics of single parent homes within black families are too damn high! Why? We have been taught to not understand how to relate to each other.

You love who you love and as long as its genuine then keep loving each other. Be it white, black, asian, hispanic or whatever.

But try to understand the discontent you my see from Black woman (I can only speak for myself) comes from a deeper place. It about our race, us as a people, our children, our families and our history.

I wont say much cause I don't want to step on any toes but I will say this was a very good point! Sometimes you have to just look at the deeper picture!!!! It's not always about black women being nasty....of course that's what everyone seems to think about us...sometimes it's about much more!

Anyway though I will say... just like people always have something negative to say about us being with men in prison...I feel it's the same in this case! Many people are never going to be comfortable with IR couples and well...that's just life!!!!!! It's funny though how a lot of black men always seem to choose the white woman with the racist family...LoL gotta love it!!!!!!!! ;)

It's funny though how a lot of black men always seem to choose the white woman with the racist family...LoL gotta love it!!!!!!!! ;)

Ain't that the truth :D

hey, I dont think those guyz really choose that(racist family), dont you think? its just happends! :D

and it sucks! ;)

I don't think they want it to be that way, but unfortunately it does happen a lot.... Phooey on racism! lol.

The USA is about to have a biracial President, so those people who haven't gotten over their outdated racial prejudices might want to start getting used to it real quick.

Oh, they'll still be there no matter what happens.... just like liberals didn't become conservatives just because a conservative was in office... that's just not how it works.

WOW!! I read this thread & got a massive migraine...running along to take an Imitrex!!! LOL

i can`t express myself honestly to friends and family about my baby, marc who is black and incarcerated. he gets out this year, and i almost lost my best friend because of my relationship. I`ve started looking at it this way, if they can`t accept me and who i`ve chosen to be with, they don`t need to be around me anymore. Just cause he`s made mistakes doesn`t mean he`s a worthless human being. I`m tired of doubting myself and him because of other peoples opinions. we`ve been together 3 yrs this oct. and alot of the time was wasted by me doubting him so much. Despite him trying so hard to prove to me he is sincere. I`ve turned over a new leaf mostly because of this site and reading other peoples stories plus i figured i needed to start trusting him100% or walk away for good. sorry to get off the subject of what you asked, i just needed to vent.

I'm a black woman and the subject of interacial couples is no big deal to me. I mean come on, it's 2008 and 1/2 of the world is now mixed with 2 or more races anyway ya dig? One of my closest friends is white and her boyfriend is black and it's normal to me..lol..my hubby is of another nationality so to me it's what makes the world go round..Big Ups to all the happy couples on here and off!

I am new at this , so please bear with me while I learn!
Yes, I find that the black women are very hostile toward relationships with white women and black men. And also the white men are hostile. I believe this must be an insecurity they have. It is hard enough being in a relationship with a man in prison when everyone else thinks you should not be. However these people who think you should not be, go on with their lives, and they do not invest time in making sure that I am not lonely. I have to wonder how they can judge me, they aren't there when I need someone or want someone to go to the movies with. The guards at the prisons are really bad about inter-racial relationships. The black women and the white men make it really difficult for a white woman and a black man. However to give up would be to give them that satisfaction. I can not let the insecurities of others dictate my life and my love for Dnny.

For all of those who are white females with husbands and boyfriends who are black and who are serving time. What are some ways you have expressed to your family and friends who think you should stick to your own race and find someone who isn't serving time. I get the response on why don't you date someone who is free and why waste your time on someone who can't give you what you need while locked up. Then they give me that "look" when I have told them them that Damon is black and I get the feeling they aren't really into me dating outside my race. Any ideals on how I can be "me" and still be accepted by others? Also do you run into black women who get upset that you are seeing black men, acting like we are taking their men away from them?

I was in an interracial relationship for 7 years since i was sixteen and we have three boys together. I would say there are some people out there that were not nice/welcoming to our relationship they would give the looks or the black guys would say why are you with that white guy things of that nature. I never understood what the big deal is about being with someone a different color is. I am black and my boys are 5,3 and 1 ( mix)and if they ever wanted to be with someone whether white or black thats cool with me as long as they are happy and in love. you know it is people like that that makes it hard for us parents with kids who are mix hard to explain why people are not excepting. I always try to teach my kids to accept people for who they are and that god made us different so that we can learn from each other.

I'm white, and have a gorgeous black boyfriend. Hes my king and i'm his caucasion Queen

So I have like the past 8 years of dealing with my family not liking who i date bekause of their race. My ex was puerto rican and i'm italian. it's mostly my grandfather who has the issue. my parents are used to it. my dad and i don't really speak even though we live in the same house but he's never really said much about it. i have a daughter who is half italian and half puerto rican. they accepted my child but not my ex. and a lot of it was his background but some of it (or the whole part of it with my grandfather) was because i was dating outside my race. And even though i love and respect my grandfather he was also raised in a society who didn't accept it at all. he is still old world but as the years go on he's becoming more accepting of it or understanding of it. he still makes snide comments about interracial dating but he's getting better about it.

well he and i have finally split and honestly i look back and understand now that i'm older why my parents didn't want me with him. he was truly no good for me.

Then i met juan. He is black and honestly i don't care what people say or think when they see us together. he is a wonderful man who has made me see that i don't need to believe the lies philip told me pretty much my whole life. he saved me from myself and him. Surprisingly my mom has accepted him right away. she sees that he isn't like most men. And the color thing doesn't bother her at all. She feels that maybe me dating him will end up helping Mila (my daughter) understand that you can't help who you fall in love with. Color to me is just that a color.

You can't help who you love-it's not a simple thing where you can just pick a white man (if your white) or a black man (if your black) and say i think i'll love him now. Love knows no colors. And yes since dating juan i've met quite a few black women who give me dirty looks when we are together and i understand what they see when they see a white girl with a black guy. but it doesn't bother me, because i know that i've done nothing wrong. our friends accept it and our families accept it (i haven't introduced him to my grandparents yet) and that's all that matters. we aren't surrounding ourselves with negativity. if someone doesn't like us together than that's their problem. it's prolly gonna hurt some feelings when we get married next june. but for all those who are in interracial relationships keep your head up there's a lot of haters out there who would die to see y'all fail.

This is funny but yea I was scared of black women for a while because I went through so much hell with them, but now I attend a Black University to get my degree....and have found a lot of black women that are great.
As for my family...they deal with it. It's been 9 years and I've not changed in this amount of time and I'm not going to so they just got used to it. They don't like it and they think I could do better but my heart is where my heart is and it belongs to a black man who is locked up....oh well...we'll get through this together. It helps that I have the support of his family and mine aren't stressing me about it.
Peace and Love Everyone!

Girl, thanks God I don't have such problems with my parents. They are not extra happy about my situation. Still they prefer to keep their opinion to themselves and try to be supportive.
All i can say - those you judge don't matter - those who matter don't judge.
Keep you head up, babe. He needs you.

Most of my family have been okay with it. I really don't care about others opinions though. Yes there have been a few black girls with a problem about my being with a black man, but there are also white men with the same problem. In all honesty you can't please everybody, and why would you try? It will drain you. All that matters in your relationship is you and your man. Everyone else is irrelevant.

God Bless

It doesn't matter to us what anyone else thinks, I would love him just the same if he was green and free as a bird. When people ask why am I still with him I just say that's what true love is. Who cares what others think?

I love him, regardless of his color. I'm not going to love or hate someone because of it. I'm not going to change who I am because of who I date. In high school I got crap from black girls, for who I dated. But since then, never. And never from white guys.

I get asked "whats it like to date a black guy?" from my bosses, coworkers, friends, acquaintances. But out of curiosity, not malice or disdain. I explain that its like dating anyone, I love him, he loves me. Sometimes we get the stares, but not as much anymore.

My parents raised me to not see color. So when I realized my dad had a problem with my first bf(who was black), it REALLY shocked me. It still bothers him, it practically kills him. But I'm not going to stop loving him, and being happy, just so he can have his perfect little family! You can't help who you love!

My husband and i have been together for 3 years. My family has been really against it....but they are coming around now. He was in prison for a year and a half and i kept it from my family because they are judgemental. I am now pregnant with our first child and we are still together and more in love than ever! We made it through the hell of prison and judgement! I could careless if they approve! I love my family and i want their support but i am not gonna leave the love of my life because they disagree! They will come around eventually!!! Screw em...its your life and if they love you they will accept it! And as far as black women go....they can kiss it! My man is my man and sorry he didnt want a black girl! Lol:)

I have a different perspective on this...well maybe it is not so different my eyeballs got tired and I could not read every post.

I am a black female and I honestly do not have problem interracial dating be it white/black black/spanish black/chinese whatever. I believe that when we break it all down we are all related in some form so why would I have a problem with another person over pigmentation. Skin color is just a biological way for us to adapt to climate changes. However white women for some reason have a problem with me. I live in a racially diverse area right now. There are quite a few mixed couples mainly black men with white women. I really do not care but when I run into them around town they watch me like a hawk. I even saw one slide up and put her arm around her man like I was just going to snatch him up or something. Maybe they were expecting problems I dunno. Until reading this post I did not know it was that much of an issue. I grew up in a mainly African American area and the only white people in that area were in the same situation as us so we did not have any problems.

I am also in my own interracial relationship with a white man and this is not my first. My ex husband is white, My last boyfriend is chinese and I am dating another white male. Once again we get problems from white women but I can not tell you why honestly. That's not true it's white females and black males that give us problems. His family does not care. He had a bad relationship in the past so they are just happy if I treat him nice and do not try to stab him (he had a really bad relationship) and my family is used to it.

I admit it gets to me sometimes I am the one with the anger management issues. He just ignores it. I'm the one staring people down with that What! look on my face. Probably not the most adult way to handle it

I am a Mexican-American woman. I grew up in a majority black city, where I was the minority. I have ALWAYS been attracted to black men, since the first time that I became interested in the opposite sex;but I have been dealing with angry black women just as long! In fact, my friend (who was Puerto Rican) and I were harrassed daily in school and I am still harrassed almost daily in my adult life by black women. I get constant stares(like if looks good kill stares) and extreme rudeness. Sometimes it's so obvious that my fiance will speak out about it and he's black,lol. Now, I am not gonna say by all black women that we(me and my man) encounter but the number is pretty high. I just don't understand why? My fiance works with mostly black women and they will even lower themselves and try to holla at him constantly, even though they know that HE is in serious relationship. I mean do black women see black men wit another race and assume they can take him or sumthin? I just don't understand the constant attitude. These women don't know me but are judging me just because of my relationship? Isn't that REVERSE racism? I see Latino men with different races all the time, but I don't get mad or offended by it because I really don't care and 9 times out of 10 I don't even know the guy, so why should it bother me? I am also sick and tired of hearing how white/hispanic/asian women are taking all the good black men. There are only a few good men, period, no matter what race,lol!! Also, please don't believe the hype that other races of women put up with black men's sh*t cuz that's not true either. In fact, I know a lot of black women who put up with things that I never would! You shouldn't put all white/hispanic/asian into this catagory that we break our neck to look at black men; hell, I don't have to cuz black men too busy looking at me!!

wow this is getting intresting i can say from my pov i have never really dealt with the race card to much growing up i was the only white girl in the neighborhood well except for my sister so pretty much didnt have a choice that's sounds weird but in our town and area the white boys that were around didnt want to date us because of the area we lived in we were considered hood rats to them i never got stared down by other black women im sure there are a few who didnt like it but no one made it obvious the only problem i had was with white people who didn't like that i was dating a black men, i only started having a prob when my mom decided i should only date white men but then it was too late.

Wow, alot of different situation here. I am white with a black man not the first relationship. Boy, my family ummm, My parents accept what makes me happy, they were not thrilled that I was seeing someone black, it took them along time to just accept my decision. As far as my other family,well, Mike is not allowed to the "family functions" , thanksgiving , christmas etc, So, I told them if he wasnt allowed neither was I. So, my parent started christmas at there house so he could be apart of the family...which I thought that was very good of my mom and dad to stand beside me when the other family didnt. Things came to about when Mike got arrested the first time, and he was released on a unsecured bond , went to a rehab for 30day and we came to live with my parent , due to my dad termially ill....Mike and my parent are close now since we have been together for 9 yrs..anyway ...Mike was so much help with my dad...he helped bathe him, sat with him while I worked...feed him...it was great to see that bond.....So all in all...if ppl would see the person and not the color this world would be in such better shape.

I know I am going to get blasted for this but I find it annoying when white women who use the fact they date black men as their ghetto pass. I personally dated the rainbow and a light skin dude attracts my attention more than a dark skin any day. Shoot mine is mixed but he will always claim being black first. My child will probably be lighter than me the ways things are going. To those that are truely in love and do not get offensive when another black woman is near your man, kudos. I appreciate your realness. But to all them fake, Imma ride my black man's back as a fighting tool, you know I don't like you.

I am a Mexican-American woman. I grew up in a majority black city, where I was the minority. I have ALWAYS been attracted to black men, since the first time that I became interested in the opposite sex;but I have been dealing with angry black women just as long! In fact, my friend (who was Puerto Rican) and I were harrassed daily in school and I am still harrassed almost daily in my adult life by black women. I get constant stares(like if looks good kill stares) and extreme rudeness. Sometimes it's so obvious that my fiance will speak out about it and he's black,lol. Now, I am not gonna say by all black women that we(me and my man) encounter but the number is pretty high. I just don't understand why? My fiance works with mostly black women and they will even lower themselves and try to holla at him constantly, even though they know that HE is in serious relationship. I mean do black women see black men wit another race and assume they can take him or sumthin? I just don't understand the constant attitude. These women don't know me but are judging me just because of my relationship? Isn't that REVERSE racism? I see Latino men with different races all the time, but I don't get mad or offended by it because I really don't care and 9 times out of 10 I don't even know the guy, so why should it bother me? I am also sick and tired of hearing how white/hispanic/asian women are taking all the good black men. There are only a few good men, period, no matter what race,lol!! Also, please don't believe the hype that other races of women put up with black men's sh*t cuz that's not true either. In fact, I know a lot of black women who put up with things that I never would! You shouldn't put all white/hispanic/asian into this catagory that we break our neck to look at black men; hell, I don't have to cuz black men too busy looking at me!!

That post makes you sound arrogant but I am going to try to answer. It is our culture. We are so few in minority and power that out great grandmothers and grandmothers enforce by words we should preserve our heritage by being with a black man. Our culture has it only one of our culture can understand our pain, frustrations, anger and generasl attitude. I will never holler at anything I know for a fact is taken. And you say don't summarize me yet you summarize the black women. Everyone is unique. I got a thing for half breeds( any kind.. I want to smash all the playdough of the world together, seeing how I am already african american, jamacian and cherokee). And at least in Texas, many black men will not touch a black female but will touch everything else. So that leads to a woman developing a complex since not even other races will touch her since they want to keep their race "pure". I just get lucky cause Imma coconut who mixed features and proper talking has all colors of the rainbow going mad. <- Example of arrogance

I know I am going to get blasted for this but I find it annoying when white women who use the fact they date black men as their ghetto pass.:clap::beer::hifive:

You're not going to get blasted, at least not by me. I agree with you 1000!

I know I am going to get blasted for this but I find it annoying when white women who use the fact they date black men as their ghetto pass. .

someone once pointed out to me that you can always tell which white girls were really from the ghetto and which ones are using thier "pass" the ones who are there are not as ghetto as they prob should be and the ones with the pass are acting as ghetto as they want to be

yeah that prob sounded wierd coming from me

someone once pointed out to me that you can always tell which white girls were really from the ghetto and which ones are using thier "pass" the ones who are there are not as ghetto as they prob should be and the ones with the pass are acting as ghetto as they want to be

yeah that prob sounded wierd coming from me

I agree that you can tell who is real about who they are, and the ones that pretend to be someone they aren't. Hubby and I have a mutual friend, that talks like she's black(and no offense with that, I'm just not sure another way to phrase that!). At first I thought she was being fake. But once I got to know her, she was raised by a black family, it's just how she learned to talk. She jokes around, and talks really 'proper' sometimes, and it just does NOT fit her at all. It sounds SO awkward. You can tell it's not who she is. On the other hand, I grew up with a girl, who took horseback riding lessons at the same barn as me. Her family is wealthy, she's always been very well spoken and articulate. I just ran into her, and she was trying to sound SO ghetto. It did NOT suit her at all, and she sounded ridiculous!

someone once pointed out to me that you can always tell which white girls were really from the ghetto and which ones are using thier "pass" the ones who are there are not as ghetto as they prob should be and the ones with the pass are acting as ghetto as they want to be

yeah that prob sounded wierd coming from me

I agree with this 100%. It sounds so different when you "act" like your from the ghetto. I myself am from the ghetto...born and raised in North Philly...and yes there are many times you can tell that is where I am from...let's face it your enviornment shapes who it is you become. It cracks me up when people try to act ghetto but they are really from a nice wealthy neighborhood...

***But it also gets to me sometimes when ppl say all white ppl who are ghetto are trying to be black...I know I'm white, I'm happy and proud to be white, however I am FROM the ghetto and I am who I am...take it or leave it.***

Most of my family have been okay with it. I really don't care about others opinions though. Yes there have been a few black girls with a problem about my being with a black man, but there are also white men with the same problem. In all honesty you can't please everybody, and why would you try? It will drain you. All that matters in your relationship is you and your man. Everyone else is irrelevant.

God Bless



Same here and I agree 100%

i know the feeling, when i tell people about my man, they're always like "oh Lord" and they think i'm nuts. we haven't been together a really long time, my parents are more irrated that he's locked up, not because he is black. my siblings don't care. his family is used to it because he only dates white girls, and his three sons are mixed. i'm kind of just learning how to deal with all of this myself, because he is the first black guy i've been with(and love with all my heart!) but really it's not about anyone else, it's about what you want and what makes you happy, who cares what other people think? it's not their lives. love your man, stick by him, and tell people to mind their business!:thumbsup:

someone once pointed out to me that you can always tell which white girls were really from the ghetto and which ones are using thier "pass" the ones who are there are not as ghetto as they prob should be and the ones with the pass are acting as ghetto as they want to be

yeah that prob sounded wierd coming from me

I'm white and i did not grow up in the ghetto, my man is black and yeah he is from the hood, but i have never and would never try to be anything i am not. i don't try to be black just because my man is, i'm white and proud that i am, just like i am proud that he is black! i listen to rave music, and i dress like a punk, i have a mohawk, i'm a graffiti writer, and i talk like a valley girl, and i love my baby and he loves me for who i am, not because i'm trying to act ghetto. but i know what you mean, i've been around a lot of white girls who change the way they talk if they are around black guys, and i think it's hilarious. it's sad that some people have no real self-identity and are that insecure. do they think it makes them look better.

[quote=vanilla_flayme;1289708]I am over 18.


I pay my own bills.

My response would be mind ya business!

I'm lucky enough to not have that problem though!

:thumbsup:

I couldn't have worded that better! And trust me, I have told some people that!

I am a 46 year old woman waiting on my 54 year old black mam who will be released in 2014, we have been together for years and have a beautiful 26 year old daughter with 2 beautiful G-babies, I was disowned by my family when I got with Rob, but it's hard enough to find a man that will both love you and treats you right, I say if you have found one that will, keep him baby no matter what rece he is!! you are the only one that has to walk in your shoes so be happy while you're doing it!!

57223

I hope that it came through (I'm new to this) but this is a picture of our daughter and G-Babies

i think that those people who have problems seeing their race with another is probably wondering what does she have over her,i've seen upstate alot of white gurls with black guys and say dam the world is changing and progress is coming to the frontline.i think that love has no bounderies and it's people who make the separations from what they been taught growing up.

There is no color of love so who cares who you date marry, sex, and choose to ride with in and outt or prison the fact remains the PEOPLE have commited crimes not their race, nor religion. If it offends you.... stick with your beliefs....if you can look past a persons flesh great!

My fiance is black and I am white and to everyone from my family or friends that has a problem with it all I have ever told them is that if you don't like it too bad. I love Jeff and he loves me and our life is our own and we do not answer to anybody but God and each other.For all of those who are white females with husbands and boyfriends who are black and who are serving time. What are some ways you have expressed to your family and friends who think you should stick to your own race and find someone who isn't serving time. I get the response on why don't you date someone who is free and why waste your time on someone who can't give you what you need while locked up. Then they give me that "look" when I have told them them that Damon is black and I get the feeling they aren't really into me dating outside my race. Any ideals on how I can be "me" and still be accepted by others? Also do you run into black women who get upset that you are seeing black men, acting like we are taking their men away from them?

What color is God? does it matter you still love him/her dont cha?

well i can relate to alot that has been said...i am hispanic,salvadorian and creole and grew up only understanding and living a traditional hispanic americian life. dating out of my race "mexican/hispanic" my parents (especially my father) and family had something always to say that is cruel...and still do! now i have a daughter with my soon to be husband who is black, n yea ive been through it all! i get the stares, rolling of the eyes, the whispers, and even the blunt straight foward thoughts of women period. though mostly i can say is from black women! i used to be on the defensive side, it never got me no where. so all i do is laugh it off its their opinion:kiss: BUT ITS MY LIFE N I CHOOSE TO LIVE IT WITH "MY BLACK MAN!" :lovestruck: AND FOR THOSE WHO DONT LIKE IT, :cool:TURN UR FACE N WALK THE OTHER WAY WHEN U SEE US TOGETHER!!!!!!!:thumbsup:

I say to each his own...who cares as long as you love each other....If the DEVIL wouldn't have put this race thing in our minds...this would have never been a discussion..God created the earth and wanted different types of people so we all wouldn't look alike...If he didn't do that..wouldn't the World being a boring bland place with just one RACE......

WE ARE ALL AMERICANS;), WE ARE LIVING IN A FREE COUNTRY WHERE RACE SHOULD'NT MATTER NO MORE,AND TOO THOSE THAT IS DOES,WHO CARES WHAT THEY ARE THINKING.WE DONT CHOOSE FOR ANY ONE ELSE WHY SHOULD WE LET OTHERS CHOOSE FOR US ? I AM A WHITE WOMAN VERY HAPPY:D & UN-ASHAMED TO BE MARRIED WITH A BLACK HANDSOME MALE,WITH I HAVE TWO BEUTIFUL GIRLS WITH AND LOVE MY LIFE TOO!!!!!!!! IM HAPPY, HE'S HAPPY, & OUR KID'S OUR HAPPY,NO ONE ELSE MATTERS TO US,DONT LIKE IT:blah: OL'WELL LOOK THE OTHER WAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:p

I have had this problem with my family actually. I'm native, italian and croatian....my boyfriend is black. I come from a small, close-minded town in northern minnesota. When I finally straight up asked my mother what she thought of my man being black, she replied with..."is he on welfare or does he actually have a job??" I was furious. I have been with my man for almost 3 years now and not once has my moher asked how he is, where he is or if they can meet him. I'm not ashamed of him, but I am of my family. I think it's ridiculous. My brother, cousins and some aunts and uncles know and are totally ok with it...and with him being in prison. It's mostly my mother and one of her sisters who do all the bad mouthing. But I'm not living my life for her, so either she has to accept it or expect to be left out of a lot of things in my life. She really has never been that supportive of me anyways so I'm not suprised. I just wish it wasn't an issue.

I've been dating "black men" for about 17 years. At first my parent had a hard time with it but after my first child they got over it real quick because she is beautiful. Personally I've never ran into the problem of black women thinking we are taking their men. But I don't put myself in those situations. I stay home and take care of kids. If we go out to eat or shopping or anything we don't pay any attention to other people. And I feel like when black ladies see my beautiful children it usually starts conversation. They are always saying how cute they are. And about the jail part. That's where I get most of my headache from. NO UNDERSTANDS THAT...

Hey ladies, I'm white my man is black we have 2 beautiful kids together and when we got together we lived in Nashville, TN and we never thought of it as a white and black thing he had never been with a white girl and none were ever brought around his family just because he was raised in the hood and not that many white girls were over there but anyway when I first met his family they never once looked at me as a "white girl" they looked at me as someone who loved there son or brother or whatever relation but when we moved to Arkansas it was a totally different story they definately look at race down here they see things in black and white no gray area. But I just smile in there faces and keep it moving I have 2 beauitiful kids and a man that loves me just as much as I love him regardless of color. You can either get with it or get lost :D !

I am white and have a black Husband and we have never really faced the black white race issue, we lived in NH before and there are lots of mixed races there and now were in GA and it definitely isn't rare here. His Family has always been accepting and very loving and mine could careless either. My kids are gorgeous and my Husband is great and thats all I care about ........

I am new at this , so please bear with me while I learn!
Yes, I find that the black women are very hostile toward relationships with white women and black men. And also the white men are hostile. I believe this must be an insecurity they have. It is hard enough being in a relationship with a man in prison when everyone else thinks you should not be. However these people who think you should not be, go on with their lives, and they do not invest time in making sure that I am not lonely. I have to wonder how they can judge me, they aren't there when I need someone or want someone to go to the movies with. The guards at the prisons are really bad about inter-racial relationships. The black women and the white men make it really difficult for a white woman and a black man. However to give up would be to give them that satisfaction. I can not let the insecurities of others dictate my life and my love for Dnny.

:eek::eek::eek:Hold on.I got to defend some of my sisters.NOT ALL black women have a problem with irr.I am mixed with different races myself but i consider myself black.As a black sista,I dont have a problem irr.I think its a beautiful thing.Hell Im attracted to men of ALL races.Ive seen beautiful men of all races.I see good looking guys on pto and i compliment the ladies on their man no matter if they are black,white,purple or blue.The only thing I have a problem wilth is when ww think that all bw have a problem with their relationships with bm or when bm say that they date ww only because bw are no good and bad.All of us are on pto because we are with men who are locked up and that should be the focus.Race shouldnt matter.

Most of my friends and family are supportive over my boyfriend and I's relationship. At first some people weren't happy but then they met him and found out why I love him. When he started getting his life together, he got his GED and enrolled in college they were even more accepting of the fact we are together. Matter of fact my mother and father and even upset because of his latest incarceration and are helping me in all ways they can.
The only people that have not really accepted my relationship is my grandparents. They have never met my boyfriend but they were raised racist and that is what they remain. My grandmother has apologized to me but says she cant help the way she feels. I told her well then you know how I feel, I can't help the fact that I love him. My grandparents live in Florida and I in Maryland so we don't really communicate all that much to begin with. To be honest with you it doesn't bother me as much as I thought it would.
As far as his family I am truly accepted. His mother and grandmother call me daughter in law and his sister and brother call me sis. Everyone of them call me every other day to make sure I am ok and don't need anything. I honestly believe I am truly blessed to be with him and be in his family.All of my family live in Florida and so they have taken me in their arms.
Even though being seperated from him right now is extremely hard, I love him more then words can say.

I guess the only thing I can say to you is just weigh in your mind if it really matters what they say. Only you can answer that.

I am white and date a black man. We started dating last year. I am 39 and he is 35. This is a first for the both of us. I have several black friends, but honestly never thought I would date a black man. But Love chose me. This man is my soulmate and I have never been so in love. Right now, my family does not know, but his does. His family is very accepting. I honestly don't believe mine will be, but I do think the biggest problem will be his history of being incarcerated. Since we have met, he has been trying to better himself - going back to college. He said he has never been in love before until me. He was out on parole and went to a "friends" house and that friend was being watched and cops busted in that night. The friend had drugs on him, but my baby did not know. I guess he was in the wrong place at the wrong time - violation of parole. Anyway, I don't know when he will be released right now, but can't wait. I miss him and love him with my whole heart.