For all of those who are white females with husbands and boyfriends who are black and who are serving time. What are some ways you have expressed to your family and friends who think you should stick to your own race and find someone who isn't serving time. I get the response on why don't you date someone who is free and why waste your time on someone who can't give you what you need while locked up. Then they give me that "look" when I have told them them that Damon is black and I get the feeling they aren't really into me dating outside my race. Any ideals on how I can be "me" and still be accepted by others? Also do you run into black women who get upset that you are seeing black men, acting like we are taking their men away from them?

I guess Ive been real lucky when it comes to my family amd my husband...but it hasnt always been like that. There was a time that my family was really against me being with a black man, and told me that if I ever had black children, they were not allowed in their house. Well guess what, I have 2 beautiful children that are mixed and they are my parents whole entire world. I guess you just have to let them know that you are grown, and that you are going to be with who you want, and it will make everyones life alot easier if they would just accept it because your gonna do it anywase. About the other question, I havent had too many problems with black women. Theres always gonna be some though that do not like to see black and white together, but theres also white women that feel the same way...its all ignorance!

I am over 18.

I pay my own bills.

My response would be mind ya business!

I'm lucky enough to not have that problem though!

:thumbsup:

I have dated other guys outside my race so my family kinda expects that of me. The only person that really had a problem with one of my past boyfriends was my grandmother but I mean she's in her 80's and was raised and lived in the "old school" but once she got to know him, she was fine. Sam and I have not really put the titles of boyfriend and girlfriend on one another. Its kinda just understood at this point. My mom know's I like him but not much more and a few friends know about the extent of our relationship and they're cool with it.

My response to anyone who disapproves is, and always has been, if you don't like it then that's your problem, not mine. They either accept the relationship or they get out of my life. If they can't be happy for you and with you then they aren't worth the effort.

Rose

What bothers me are the girls, not only white, that goes for only black men. Growing up, I've came across women who break their necks to look at a black man, regardless if they are good looking. And these girls usually end up tramping around with any black man that is around even if they are already involved. I have a few friends that are that way, I am so ashamed to admit that.

This reminds me of a story of an ex-friend of mine, we were driving and she noticed a black man in a car a few spaces away from us. She asked me to speed up as she was breaking her neck, talking about he looked good. When we came up upon the car, it ended up it was a black dog. I cracked up laughing.

I try not to see a person for their color, but more for their personalities. Because I have come across some fine a** black men but with the nastiest attitudes, and some not-so good looking men but their personalities more than make up for it.

I live in a seriously racially divided area. I have known black women who flip over white women and black men. If you have a bi-racial child, you can bet the farm no white man will have anything to do with you. They still burn crosses around here. Hell, we even made the Oprah show a few years ago. My brother finds out about Tyree, he'll probably be the one pouring gas on it. My boys were raised in the city, with every race, and they know the difference is good or bad, and race or gender or religion has nothing to do with it. I never subscribed to any paticular theory and accept everyone. They call my one boy "White Chocolate".

The first thing Jason asked me when he first came to live with me was if I had ever been with a black man. Then Tyree asked me that a few weeks ago. I told him no and he asked why. I told him the opportunity just never arose. I have been married 20 years and waited for Jason for 5.

I told him I didn't care about his color. Then he told me he was Muslim. I said, "I love learning about other religions". That is just one of my things. It fascinates me. I study other religions. I believe in the story of the Tower of Babel, and we all pray to one God, just in different ways.

Anyone who knows me knows I will do what I damn well please anyways, so most of the time they don't bother me. I figure if they don't bother calling to see if we're still alive, they have absolutely no damn say in my life and how I choose to live it.

I have two best friends that are bi-racial. The one, we call ourselves a black and white cookie. The other has been living with a white man for 20 years. It takes all of us to make the world go round.

He is half my age and very mature. More mature than I am:)! I haven't even seen him yet. But, he has already seen through that part of me that I try and hide. He is the first man in my life to even bother trying. He is so sweet and kind. He thinks I am beautiful and doesn't want me to lose weight. How in hell could a woman not love that? The package doesn't matter at all. All I have ever wanted in my life was for a man to bother and to actually look at me, all of me. Love comes in all forms.

The world is a kaleidascope and it has always been my favorite toy.

Im A Black Female And I Personally Have No Prob With The Whole Black And White "thing". I Know The Feeling To Love Someone With All Of Your Heart, And I Feel That Love Has No Boundries. I Do However Totally Understand Where Other Black Females Are Coming From When They Disagree Of This Subject. They Feel As If Our Men Are Eithr Gay, Locked Up, Or With A Whit Woman. So Thier Question Is "who Do We Have Left"? This Is A Tough One Because I Understand Where Both Sides Are Coming From. I Do Commend The Females Who Stick By Thier Man Despite Negativity That They Receive From People Who Jsut Dont Understand That Love Conqurs (sp?) All
Big Ups To All Of You :)

Nobody has really said anything at all. My family knows that it's not going to do any good to say or do anything. I do what I want when I want and have pretty much been that way my whole life. I believe in ONE RACE....THE HUMAN RACE....something of which we are all a part of. I pray that one day racism will be a thing of the past. Something that our great grand children can say...."I was told that it used to be....." We all live on this earth, I may live in one part of the country and you in another....but we are all humans and we all want peace on earth....Wouldn't live be wonderful?

Lil Beezy thanks for the imput, great to hear from a black female on the subject of white women and black men. Personally I have only been relationships with two black men, I don't choose by race and honestly I don't choose who to love, love chooses me. This time around it was with a younger (10 years), black man in prison. I worked as a nurse at the facility he was incarcerated in. This was a situation that I never could even imagine myself in, but has been one of the greatest blessings that I have been given. We honor each other, compliment each other, the difference in our skin color is only that a difference. My family is very open minded they are accepting, my children have been raised to embrace others for their uniquiness whether it be color, religion or whatever they are accepting. The only ones with the real problem is my ex and his family, but I really don't care they don't pay my bills or rule my life.

Staci

I don't care what my family or friends think and if they say anything rude I say "Do you really think God excludes people," and they shut up. For those who don't...I stay away from them.

Yes some Black women feel I am taking a potential man from them, some have no problem at all. It depends on the person.

I have had problems with family members when I first started dating outside my race. I tried to explain my feelings on the situation, but nothing worked. So I kept on doing what I was doing and eventually my family got over the fact that I dated black men. I didnt/dont discuss my love life with my family ex. mom dad. I feel who I date is none of their business. You will learn to ignore the looks and comments you get.

my family hate me, because i dated black men, and my baby is black, i dont have any negative response from friends and never had problems with black women, i guess it helps anyway that i live in a very multi-cultural are Sheffield, England

My mother has a problem not with the race issue but the prison issue. She will not even talk to me about my fiance. I only see my father on holidays or birthdays. My sister and I talk all the time about our relationships. Her bf moved to another state so we have the distance thing in common sort of. My children are the only ones I really care what they think and they are totally accepting of my relationship. My parents raised me to look at people for who they are on the inside not on the outside.

Well, my mother and sister are very judgemental in that when they see a guy I am dating (which for the past 6 years has been a black man) they assume he is a drug dealer or wife beater or convict. And some of them have. And some of them haven't. The point is I get really upset when they try to convince me that I am making a mistake and wasting my time. I have no problem looking back and admitting I made a mistake in past relationships. But none of my regrets are based on race. I happen to be attracted to black men. I can't change that. I have not only dated black men in my life and I don't intentionally look away from other races. It's just the way I am. I do sometimes feel the resentment from black women who disagree with IR relationships but as long as they don't try to start problems I don't let it bother me. My husband loves me so much and we are best friends. When we are together it's about love and nothing else. It's too bad some people can't realize that.

You know I feel what you are saying. It's nice to see a Black Woman (and I stress woman) with your attitude! I have only came across a few Black females that have a problem with me. And that was fifteen years ago. I think they are used to me by now! I think they realized I'm not going anywhere! :D

Im A Black Female And I Personally Have No Prob With The Whole Black And White "thing". I Know The Feeling To Love Someone With All Of Your Heart, And I Feel That Love Has No Boundries. I Do However Totally Understand Where Other Black Females Are Coming From When They Disagree Of This Subject. They Feel As If Our Men Are Eithr Gay, Locked Up, Or With A Whit Woman. So Thier Question Is "who Do We Have Left"? This Is A Tough One Because I Understand Where Both Sides Are Coming From. I Do Commend The Females Who Stick By Thier Man Despite Negativity That They Receive From People Who Jsut Dont Understand That Love Conqurs (sp?) All
Big Ups To All Of You :)

People don't understand that. Plain and simple. I don't find men of other races attractive unless they are someone like George Clooney. Someone on TV that I know I will never get very far with. Wait I think Paul Wall is sexy too. But he is in the same catagory as us! :)
Well, my mother and sister are very judgemental in that when they see a guy I am dating (which for the past 6 years has been a black man) they assume he is a drug dealer or wife beater or convict. And some of them have. And some of them haven't. The point is I get really upset when they try to convince me that I am making a mistake and wasting my time. I have no problem looking back and admitting I made a mistake in past relationships. But none of my regrets are based on race. I happen to be attracted to black men. I can't change that. I have not only dated black men in my life and I don't intentionally look away from other races. It's just the way I am. I do sometimes feel the resentment from black women who disagree with IR relationships but as long as they don't try to start problems I don't let it bother me. My husband loves me so much and we are best friends. When we are together it's about love and nothing else. It's too bad some people can't realize that.

Well, I am lucky in the sense that my father accepts the relationship and sees how happy he does make me even while he is in prison he is still the man that brightens my day. My mother, honestly she has never been happy with anyone I have been with, and no they have not always been interracial, but with my current relationship she has made it more then clear that she is not happy, and you know what it's her problem not mine. She has made comments like don't you think YOU can do better:mad: ? I had to put her in her place and say don't you think HE can do better, because he is just as deserving as I am:eek: .. Even your own family members can be real ignorant and this is something that I have learned to just shut them out..:(

I am happy to say my brother (one of my brother's and sister in law) think he is great, and accepts where he is now:thumbsup: . They support us, and just want for us to be happy. I have lost some friends because THEY couldn't deal with it, so they weren't friends to begin with. I really don't get grief from other women and if I do once again it's their issue not mine. You can't help who you fall in love with, and who loves you back..:heart:

I personally love to see interracial relationships be it (White woman-Black man) (White man - Black woman) or what ever other races.In Trinidad where I live interracial relationships are common..... and very much accepted by most.I take it that the US has a long way to go in terms of accepting interracial relatonships though certain parts its common.Anyway after all is said and done we are all humans and love is colour blind!

I just think Damon and I look beautiful together and I only hope things between us only get better with time. Thank you all for your response!

I do not see what difference race makes, what is important is what is in the heart. I have been with every race in the nation and it really does not matter to me.

My family and friends know that I date whom ever I find attractive and gives respect. I have never set out to date just white men or black men. I have been married and I have divorced both. My family know of my man because he is my daughter's father, but because we broke up when she was 2 mnths old (feb 86) and we never spoke again until this year they don't know what to think except that I'm crazy... I just tell them.. yeah maybe, but you know I'm crazy so don't act surprised:p Im 40 yrs old... I don't really care what my family thinks anymore. He's a good man who has made a mistake in life. Wow someone who isn't perfect....imagine that.:eek:

my family disowned me at the age of fifteen because of me dating black men I had my daughter and they wanted nothing to do with her or me. As for problems with black women over the 19 years i have been dating black men i have had problems up until D went back in we still got dirty looks and all that. I have never dated any other race. I am totally happy.

^5 to valentine65.
He's a good man who has made a mistake in life. Wow someone who isn't perfect....imagine that.:eek:

HEY LADIES I JUST CANT HELP BUT TO HAVE MY SAY IF YOU EVER CARE WHAT ANOTHER THINKS OF WHO YOU ARE IN LOVE WITH JUST BECAUSE THEY ARE OF A DIFFERENT RACE YOU'VE GOT A BIG PROBLEM YOU CAN'T LET ANYONE LIVE YOUR LIFE FOR YOU YOUR PARENTS RAISED YOU TO BE ABLE TO SURVIVE ON YOUR OWN TO LIVE YOUR OWN LIFE ,SO LIVE IT AND TO THE FULLEST. WE ONLY HAVE ONE LIFE DO WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY, IGNORE THE IGNORANCE IN OTHER PEOPLE AFTER ALL THE DIFFERENCES IN OTHERS IS WHAT MAKES THE WORLD GO ROUND. I HAVE BEEN IN INTER RACIAL RELATIONSHIP FOR ALL MY ADULT LIFE WHICH IS AWHILE NOW. LOL I HAVE 3 BEAUTIFUL BI RACIAL CHILDREN WELL 2 GROWN ONE STILL YOUNG I HAVE NEVER HAD ANY PROBLEMS WITH THIS WHAT SO EVER, ONLY BIG TIME COMPLIMENTS ON WHAT A BEAUTIFUL FAMILY I HAVE FROM ALL RACES . I LOVE MY MAN WHO JUST HAPPENS TO BE BLACK I LOVE HIM FOR MANY MANY REASON BUT MOSTLY FOR THE PERSON HE IS !!! WE ARE TO BE MARRIED AUGUST 23RD (HAD TO PUT THAT ON THERE LOL) WITH ALL DUE RESPECT IN RESPONSE TO TBABY WHO SAID THAT SOME BLACK WOMEN FEEL WHO DO THEY HAVE LEFT??? THERE ARE AWHOLE LOT OF DIFFERENT KINDS OF MEN IN THIS WORLD LEFT TO LOVE AND TO GIVE LOVE TOO .WHEN I PERSON CAN WHOLE HEARTLY,, OPEN THEIR MINDS AND SOUL AND LOVE FROM WITHIN ,NO MATTER WHAT RACE ,, TRULY LOVE THE PERSON FOR WHO THEY ARE ,,, ONLY THEN,, DO THEY HAVE REAL UNCONDITIONAL LOVE!!!

amen patti. that is so true. i would date a white man but i live in panama city florida and 90% of the white men are country and that just aint me so ya know. but its all about the person and them as a whole not about color. my son is mixed and i hope when he is my age that all this race **** will be squashed cuz we are all Gods people and that is all that matters

I always handle it like this
Well i guess the thing that is important here is, the happiness of the kids and me, so if you care about any of that then you surely shouldn't have a problem with his color or fact that he isn't perfect and made a mistake. that always seems to shut them up.

dam what is color? love is love! i never knew color had anything to do with it.
me i am white. but what make me laugh, is white women/men who bake in the sun pay for tanning, than say oh look she is with a blackman or he is with a black woman.

my sisters are hines 57, their kids are my kids! why is this an problem? my sister gets shit, i get more my husband is a white man doing life. excuse the punn, we are the black sheep. oh by the way she is half pr andd iris lol

When someone tells you to stay in your own race, tell them you are staying in your own race - the human race! I get tons of crap from my family (everyone except my dad, go figure) and I tell them the same thing all of the time, I love him and he loves me. My mom will say she can't help the way she feels, and I'll say I can't help the way I feel either.

KellyAnn,
No worries about what others think... You must first believe this before you can look interacial dating and marriages in the eye. My husband is also black. I get that attitude from black woman all the time until they talk to me and get to know me so i know where you are coming from with that, I'm not excepted by his family what so ever, they have even went as far as having his daughters mother go and tell him that they needed to be together when he came home because they had a family together. Hes excepted by my family with open arms, they dont understand why it is that I couldnt find someone on the streets, but they understand that I am madly in love and dont give a darn about there opinions nor anyone elses. Do you regardless of what others think if they cant except you because hes black then they never really excepted you to begin with.. do you feel me? Keep your head up stay positive and only worry about you and him...

My family is used to it now but they always used to say "Why can't you find a nice white guy?" and I'd reply "Cause I found a nice black guy". People can say what they want but it's not going to change anything. To me it's the same as someone who prefers a man with blond hair or brown eyes or such and such tall, etc. it's all preference. And I don't discriminate on anyone. I've had black women dislike me simply because I dated black men and I know black women who date white men as well so I don't know what the problem is. I love my man- black or not.

when i told my family it was like an all out war but no matter what im with paul forever and if no one likes it fine its mylife i am 28 and its my life so i dont need anyone telling me whats right or whats wrong my dad and my mom dont talk to me anymore but thats life right?

I have not only a mixed race issue, but an age issue AND the prison issue all wrapped into one. My family acts like if they don't recognize it , it will all go away. It took me a long time to mention it to any of them. My neice married a Black man from Africa, so that sort of broke the ice. I think my mother, being in that generation where they still called them " colored" has the biggest problem, but she did say she just didn't want me getting hurt again. Well, I can appreciate that. My man told me not to try to convince anyone, so I don't. It works fine. I just smile and move on. He has had problems with his family and their friends making comments about my being his other mother and I am sure comments about my race, but he is very strong and he puts them in their place. He says he will walk away from anyone who won't accept us. He says it's his life. I am sure I will have more to face , once he comes home, but there are many Black men with White women in my town. I have always wondered why there are not more White men with Black women. Anyone have an answer for that? My guy and I don't see color as such. I see him as beautiful both inside and out. He is the love of my life. He is everything I never had in a man. I have repect for him which I can't say about any other man in my life. I have always been attracted to men with dark hair, eyes, and skin, but never had a relationship with a Black man until now. People are people, and I too, wish there weren't racial issues. I am proud to be the "cream" with my "coffee". I respect the Black women who think I am one who is taking one of their men, but I don't understand it. We are all just people. What has race got to do with love?

Thanks for the input! I've always wanted to know what what the black women thought. Personally I have always had black women as friends. The town I live in...it is very common but a lot of the A-A females don't like it b/c like tbaby said...they think we are taking the good ones. Not all of us get lucky and find a good man...black or white. I have been with my fiance for going on 7 years now and haven't really had any trouble. I stick by my man b/c I love him. No one could ever come between us!



Im A Black Female And I Personally Have No Prob With The Whole Black And White "thing". I Know The Feeling To Love Someone With All Of Your Heart, And I Feel That Love Has No Boundries. I Do However Totally Understand Where Other Black Females Are Coming From When They Disagree Of This Subject. They Feel As If Our Men Are Eithr Gay, Locked Up, Or With A Whit Woman. So Thier Question Is "who Do We Have Left"? This Is A Tough One Because I Understand Where Both Sides Are Coming From. I Do Commend The Females Who Stick By Thier Man Despite Negativity That They Receive From People Who Jsut Dont Understand That Love Conqurs (sp?) All
Big Ups To All Of You :)

hi my story islong but i will make it short as a guy of 23 i went to prison in nj rahway i was small guy 5'6 145 so i couldnt fight so to survive i went to a guy for protection well over the three years i was there i fell in love with him so much i became too feminine in prison my wife was shocked but she was having a affair so she accepted me that way by the way she also fell in love with a black man lol when i was a guy i used to get so mad when i saw a white girl with a black man especialy if she had kids or was pregnantthat i would call them names but since i had my surgery and realized how more masculine black men are than i was or anty white guys lol i realized i wasnt mad i was jealous when my guy gets out we hope to adopt yes it will be mixed lol

hey Again To You All I Married My Baby August The 23rd Just This Past Tuesday Flew Down TO Texas ( I Live In Chicago) And We Did It Woo0ooo Weeeeeee We Are Both So Happy Yes He Just Happens To Be Black Yes I Just Happen To Be White And Ohhhhhhhhhh Yeah We Are In Love Totaly Unconditional Love Now My Family Is Complete We Have Been Blessed By God So Many Times Over I Love My Husband For Who He Is All Of Him!!!!

i hear this all the time!....
and honestly i will not say much about this...
i dont have a problem with mixture...
it is really about the person inside...the love inside...and who ever dont see that..then there life would be as clear and beautiful that they think it will.
dont let no one hate on your relationship....ignore the ppl who hate.
hate should not be apart of our lives anyways...enough stress just waiting.
now i should say more...but i wont cause....................:mad:

I have no problems with black females or my family cause they know whats up I have that I dont give a f*** attitude and they know im gonna stand behind mines 100% I've lived around black folks and white folks my whole life.I've never personally had a white man but to each is own like vanilla flame said im grown and i pay my bills if someone dont like it oh well but they better not come to my face about it cause they will get a ear full mabye more.........

I feel as though i can be with who i want to be with. I have 2 bi-racial children. I am white and my husband is black and we have been together for 8 years. My family absolutely adores him and misses him as much as i do. Hey my father cried when he went to prison. We all love him and like i said here in ny even Upstate it is accepted, people do not say a word to me. Almost all of my childrens cousins on dads side are bi-racial. For me it was not that i was looking for that but i just fell in love with a man that is so beautiful to me and he made my family complete, he is my very best friend and soulmate and i would not trade him for all the money in the world.

After all this time you would think that it would be accepted, well in some cities it's still a big "no,no" but to me it's a challenge. I have 3 beautiful kids from a black man and I adore him no matter what, I really never payed attention to his color until someone else pointed it out to me and it had to be someone from my own family, I was like "really, never noticed" joke. But I wouldn't trade him for the world because he is my world I have been with him for over 20 years and we have so much history behind us that other people that are looking from the outside In wouldn't understand because believe me people do notice when we are together. When up there visiting him and we say our hellos and goodbyes, me and him don't do nothing but giggle because as Tupac would say "all eyes on me", but it's great and no one could ever change anything because it's me and him against the world, another Tupac saying. oh yeah and our baybays. :)

OK, so you like alot of us are attracted to someone with a different amount of melanin in their skin. LOVE, real love doesn't see color.you have to look at those who comment and smile, because they are showing their ignorance that your man is a real man. his situation is just not what most would like to be in. I have been there and shunned by "friends" and told I should live my life and forget about Travis... I ahve heard all of the stories about him being an incarcerated black man. Well it is his soul and his person I love, not the situation he is in. So keep your head high and know that if it is true to you leave it alone.

I can relate to you girl. My mother doesnt like that I lived with a blk male. I had kept it from her for 2 yrs. We got arrested together me and my b/f and I never heard the end of it from her. She always throws it in my face like I told you there no good they only use white girls. But I told her he never used me I did what I did cause it was my decision. He always tried to keep me out of the bad things. But know she tells me to never date out of my race again. So thats why I never talk to her because she only wants to critisize me. So I feel you all day if you ever want to chat email me.

I never cared and never will care what others have to say about it.
I've bumped heads with people about it sometimes because they always have something to say. Off course the narrow minded point of view gets me mad.
I just tell them "listen, it's not your hapiness, it's not your joy, it's not your problem"

But them again I mean I'm Spanish, so it might still be a little different

hey All Just Stopping In To Touch Bases Javlin I Love That Pic Its So Sweet The Look In Both Your Eyes To Everyone Thats In An Interracial Relationship If You Take The Time To Worry About What Anyone Thinks Your Wasting Precious Moments Live Your Life For You And Be Happy Lifes Too Short For The Bs If We Worried About What Others Thought We Wouldnt Get Anywhere God Bless And Stay Safe!!!!! I Miss My Baby!

MY TAKE ON THIS IS FORBIDDEN FRUIT ALWAYS TASTES THE SWEETEST.....LOL...AND IF I WAS RAISED BEING TOLD "STAY WITH YOUR OWN KIND" I MADE SURE I WENT AS FAR OUT OF THE BOX AS I COULD TO FIND MY SOULMATE .....SO HE IS A LITTLE DARKER THEN MY PARENTS IMAGINED LOL....AND I DONT SEE COLOR WHEN I LOOK AT HIM .. I SEE MY PRINCE WHOM I WILL LOVE TO MY DYING BREATH!!!!!

. . . Also do you run into black women who get upset that you are seeing black men, acting like we are taking their men away from them?
I would think if a person is happy within their own self that it would not matter to them who the person next to them is with. That's enough to make me wonder is it really the interracial aspect that p i s s e s off those women or is more that they lack personal happiness.

The numbers of these black women who are disturbed by those relationships are drowned by the number of white men who hate on those relationships. But people don't talk about how white men feel when they see a white women with black men. They usually only talk about the Black woman.

My personal feeling is people are a mess, relationships are a mess, so for any two people who can get together and make a relationship no matter what your race or gender -- I AM HAPPY FOR YOU because everyone is entitled to experience true love.

. . . IF I WAS RAISED BEING TOLD "STAY WITH YOUR OWN KIND" I MADE SURE I WENT AS FAR OUT OF THE BOX AS I COULD TO FIND MY SOULMATE . . .
This makes me think about an incident that happened with a white woman and her daughter at my last visit. Children are so innocent. It was the woman, her daughter and then me walking one behind the other as we went through gate-doors going to the visit room. The daughter held the door for me and her mother rudely told her to come closer to her, don't be holding the door for other people, let them hold it for themself.

I felt bad for the little girl (about 6) because based on her composure and expression I could see that she knew her mom was wrong. We went through the last door and the child defiantly held the door for me anyway. I verbally told the girl "thank you sweetie, you're so precious" and then I said under my breath to her mother "that's why she's gonna grow up having relationships with only Black men."

I told my husband what happened, and at a point in the visit the lady dropped a pizza by our table. Me and my husband looked at the child and felt sad because she was looking forward to enjoying the pizza. And then we looked at the mother and said between us "God don't like ugly" and that's why she dropped her pizza, and in an area that we were sure to see it.

hun my husband is black, im white, he was from a poor farming family, im upper income , but we found each other and love. He is an inmate in a poor county in Virginia, where every time i visit, im greeted with stares, things muttered behind my back, etc. Family was appauled at my relationship, but ive stood firm in loveing him and pulling the time with him. The thing i say to your questions, is fairly simple. Let them talk, if your happy, thats more then most peope have. If your love is strong enough to keep you together while your mate is away, thats stronger then most couples that live dailey with each other. And for the guards and officers at the jails, perhaps they are pissed because you found a better man in your husband then you find in them,and they know , if they were on the other side of the locked doors, their wife or girlfriend would be gone with the first loser that came along. lisa

Life is very short so we can only do what makes us happy. So regardless of color yours or his if you are happy count it as a blessing that god gave you. This is your life and its the only one you're going to get there is no rewind or fast forward or even a pause button so live it to the fullest. And if some one doesn't agree with your life and want to criticize you smile :D to yourself and say gosh I am so important they want to stop living there life to come check on mine.:thumbsup:

Hiya! brandi here. My husband is black. We have been married for 13 years. My family oesnt much approve, mostly my kids ( they are grown), and I really do have to admit that with him CONSTANTLY going in and out of prison, it doesnt help. But alas, love overcomes all.
BTW, am new to the site, am finally starting to figure out how the whole thing works. I am in Little Rock, Arkansas. My huisband and I had split up ( I had left him) a lil over a year ago in New Orleans, LA. I miss him terribly, and have been searching for him to no avail. I decided to check with the CDC, and what do u know?! Another parole violation. I just found out he is in Chuckawalla. Sent my first letter on Tues. Am very excited and nervous to hear from him.
I have always done his time wityh him, traveling from prison to prison. I have never had anyone in my corner, and very much look forward to the support this group will allow me. I am on the me
msgrs and am very lonely, so anyone wanting to chat, c'mon down!
Thanx! brandi

My fiance is black. We have been together for almost 6 years. At first my family was very against it, but then they came to accept it and now they love him. Although I do have this one Aunt who can not stand the fact that I am going to marry a black man. I use to lie to her about being with him and everything. It even got to a point when other family members would lie for me about seeing him and being with him. Then one day I woke up and said "She is not going to live my life!" She doesn't have to live with him or marry him. And every since then she has been ok with it. So basically if you give them the attitude that you just don't give a f**k then they will take it or leave it! And if they leave it then you didn't need them in the first place!!!!!

Love is love no matter the skin color. I've dated plenty black guys and white guys, there is more to person like a personality that should matter more than skin color. It's sad that the world is still not accepting of interracial relationships. But who cares what others think. The only thing that matters is that you two love each other and care about each other. In the end, it is going to be you two NOT you two and the rest of the world.

We are a mixed couple and I got 3 beautiful kids. I also live where it is kind of alot of racist people. but they are very ignorant..... I dont care what anyone thinks of my choice.......My family is cool with it. My whole family, and they love any body that I love and loves me back.......Thank God!!!!!!!!!

I find it funny how stipid and closed minded people can be, the funniest question I get from people is "Is it true, once you go black you never go back?" It's like DUH!! HELLO!! I want to say "damn straight!! :)"... but at the same time slap them silly and pray that someone else does.

lisa Amen Girl You Hit It Right On Target Everyone Have A Beautiful Day

...my thoughts exactly! :thumbsup:

Of Course This Is Something We All Go Threw, Well The Majority Of Us Anyway. I Can Understand Where Black Woman Come From With There Negativity Toward Us And About Us Being With Black Me, But They Need To Understand That This May Not Be Something We Chose, This Is Something That Just Happens Meaning You Cant Help Who You Fall In Love With Regardless Of There Color, Lets Face It Would We (white Women) Act Like This Toward A Black Woman If They Were With A White Man Heck No! Just Get Over It And Move On, Of Course You Wouldnt Think After All This Time People Would Still Have A Problem With It Unfortunatly They Do And Its Something You Are Either Going To Deal With And Move Past Or Your Going To Let It Annoy You And Get The Best Of You Eithier Way The Choice Is Yours To Make. I Commend All Woman For Standing By There Man Expecailly In A Situation Like This One, Being Incarcerated, You Have To Have The Will And Strength To Make It Threw Another Day Regardless Of What Obsticles You May Come To. The Best Way For A Strong House Is Threw A Solid Foundation, In Order To Have The Solid Foundation You Must Be A Strong Individual With The Strenth To Move Past Peoples Stupidity And Ignorance.

I don't really have any problems with my family because they know that it is what I want and I am an adult. As far as black females I deal with the negativity all of the time mainly from younger 18-25 females. They are concerned with us taking all of there men I don't ever recall putting a gun to my boyfriends head and forcing him to be with me he is with me because of me he is in love with me as a person and not what color I am and the same is for him. So for all of the people who don't like it oh well it is my decsion and not there's.:blah:

I hate to say it, but my parents do have a problem with it but hey.. I am 26, pay my own stuff... I am not even trippin... They are getting better, I just can't wait until Charley is home and we can show them what TRUE love is!! As far as problems with black females.. I have ran into very few people.. My ex boyfriends mother didn't like the fact he was outside of his race,but guess what.. she loves me til this day! My motto "Live and Let Live," Forget about what everyone thinks, just do you! and what makes you happy!!!!

I am also lucky, I have never had a family issue when it came to my husband being black. (And trust me my husband is African-Jamaican so he
is really dark) My mother wasn't the coolest on it but as soon as she ment him and talked to him she loved him. But I also know that if they did have a problem with it they would have gotten over it because he was the one who makes me happy!

And for the other issue, I haven't had no real big problems with black females, I mean my husband was a "dog" back in the day and if anything I had them walking up to me asking me why I waste my time with him, but I would tell them not to hate, he has two lists one of women who he just sleeps with (which there name is on that side) and the other for the woman he cares about and that has only one name on it and it is mine....It would shut them up pretty fast and evidently I was right because I am the one he married.....

I gave up tring to please my family I never will be good enough rich enough or Duane will NEVER be white enough for them. But I LOVE HIM and that is all that matters to me. They do not live with me or pay my bills go to work for me or any of that so I guess at 32 I can love who ever I want.

(And trust me my husband is African-Jamaican so he
is really dark)
This sounds very funny to me because it sounds as if you're saying he's double black (African black and Jamaican black which is why he's really dark :D). But it doesn't work that way. Black skin comes in all shades, no matter the nationality. Look at Sean Paul and Bob Marley -- both Jamaicans. The model Iman is African and she's about the same complexion as Bob Marley. If she and either of these men were to marry and have a baby, the baby would be like your husband -- African-Jamaican -- but because of the complexion of the parents, the child would not be really dark. :o With Blacks, your complexion comes from the genetics of your family, not from the nationality of your family. :o

I just wanted to share my opinion on this topic.

I am a Black woman with two adult sons. Both of ny sons have dated inside and outside their race. Both have had good and bad relationships within and outside their own race.

The only thing that matters to me is their happiness. I will always love my sons no matter "who they bring home" - as long as that person makes them happy.

My father married a white woman (after divorcing my mother) - I have a bi-racial step brother who's grandparents (on his mothers side) would have nothing to do with him only because he was half black. He is an adult now - but to this day he remembers how he was treated differently by these people.

Love is love - we are all God's children no matter what.

amen Ms

My family has a problem with the fact the my baby is black..before they even got to meet him they hated him..we were together fo awhile before he was locked up and I am still with him, when I told my parents that he got locked up they kicked me out of the house because I am waiting for him..so now I live at his house with his family!

my only reret about being a transexual is i cant give leon any kids

when i came out in prison my wife was shocked and when she found out i was with a black man she went crazy now we are both married to older black men life funny huh?

I married the first black man I've ever dated...my mom hated it she liked to use the "n" word quite offten, which isn't what my man is. She claimed he wore the type of cloths that thugs wear and talked the way a thug would, still to this very sec my mother tries to convience me that I should divorce him while he is in prison (isn't that mean) although color isn't the only reason my mother hates my husband but at the beginning it was the only reason, now her new reason is cuz hes a felon lol

i always run into black females or hear of how they talk about me an him,because he has a pretty well respected reputation around my way an people are jus shocked that he's wit me instead of wit a black girl.They say he's just wit me because i do anything for him an send him money..but tha thing is i dont.He dont even like me to send him money because i dont have it right now an he dosent really need it that badly,plus his moms an dad help him out alot.An they think he's doing me dirty an cheatin on me,when he's deeply in love wit me just tha same as me,so we both know it's nothing but hate. My mom didnt really wanna accept it at first,but when she got to know him she loved him. Alot of people misjudge him becasue he dresses like a thug,an walks like one,but he talks like a well-educated black man. It's really weird..lol.:)

I guess I got lucky with my family. I was with a black man for 8 years and the best thing that came out of it was 2 beautiful children. However, my husband is a wonderful person:D . My family saw that I was very happy with him and that is all it took. They have never judged him for whatever reason. They support me and my husband during our rough time. My husband has always treated my family with respect and when we decided to get married, he did the old fashion ask the parents for permission. I know that there is no one in this world better than my husband and yes I do put him on a pedestle (spelling?). That is where a king belongs, right?

my parents basically act like my husband does not exist. We've been together for 6 years & married almost 2 & my mom just this past sept. recognized my married name. My dad went & met him but only stayed long enough to embarass me w/the usual negative remarks...I don't approve, you'll never be welcome inmy house, etc. I think he wanted to see how "ghetto" my man would act but Vell was the real man & the real gentleman. But, my friends & extended family totally accept him & us!!!!

While we're on the topic....Do any of you get negativity from black females? I have experienced some, comments like why is he w/her or vice versa. Crazy looks, snide remarks, But the wierd thing is that I personally have not experienced this problem w/all black females. My roommate was a black female & she felt like any man I could pull she could pull one to. She never cared who I was with because she always had somebody too. The only time I had a problem was when the girl was alone (no man). It bothered me because even if my man was not with me, he wouldn't be with them either, so why were they worried about it. Either way they wouldn't have him. No Offense intended AT ALL, just curious.

honestly, at the end of the day nothing should matter but how YOU feel about your man! If he treats you well and loves you right! THen forget the rest! Its always nice to be accepted, but nothing is easy! I have learned alot about that, my parents hate my fiance, not b/c he is black becasue i myself am mixed, but i looked white! As far as black women go, well, my hubby is from NY, and honestly up there, there is alot of black men with white women, and i will tell you exactly what my fiance said to me about the whole thing, "their attitude is stank" so, yes they might get upset or what not, but obviously someone is doing something right to get and keep a black man!

Unfortunately my family isn't too happy with my man not cuz he's black but cuz he's locked up. They think I should find someone without a RAP sheet (a few of my family members work in some sort of law enforcement). I doubt they will ever accept him, but oh well--their loss. I can't help who I fell in love with and who I feel is my soulmate. I really don't care what anyone thinks, as long as me and my children are happy. I'm actually in a weird situation where my kids father (who is black) is a CO at a prison (not the jail my man is at--thank GOD). He hates MAJORLY on my man and has even tried to make me lose my job, has called Children & Youth on me and has even tried to "hide" our children from me in the past. He refers to my man as "the inmate" and has tried to turn our children against him (which he can't cuz they love him too!!) Its crazy. However, me being the strong woman I am, have fought him tooth and nail against anything he has done and I always will if I have to. He hasn't won yet. Me and my man have been through too much together to let some simple man try to get in between us.

quote=Vells1&only]While we're on the topic....Do any of you get negativity from black females? I have experienced some, comments like why is he w/her or vice versa. Crazy looks, snide remarks, But the wierd thing is that I personally have not experienced this problem w/all black females. My roommate was a black female & she felt like any man I could pull she could pull one to. She never cared who I was with because she always had somebody too. The only time I had a problem was when the girl was alone (no man). It bothered me because even if my man was not with me, he wouldn't be with them either, so why were they worried about it. Either way they wouldn't have him. No Offense intended AT ALL, just curious.[/quote]

in reply to your comment, I won't say "black women" in specific, give negative looks but some do! In general i call this the "BB" syndrome, "the bitter bitch" syndrome! Just remember that mysery loves company!!! :D :thumbsup:

as far as black women go... it took years for me to prove myself to my husband's family. They weren't very ready to accept me. But there was also an age difference with my husband and I, which made it even more difficult. I grew close to his mother and sisters in time. His mother-rest her soul-was an incredible woman, and in time I came to understand her callousness.;)

PLease don't take this the wrong way - but as i've said in other posts - i find it really hard to imagine why people would care what ' race' your partner is :( It's just really never been an issue (for the reocord - if i MUST state it - i am white / Adrian's black ) but so what ? Surely parents etc should be more conerned about whether their kids are HAPPY and being treated ok ? :)
As i said - no offence xxx

I've been married for 10 years and just don't care what people think. I find it funny that other women in the visiting room stare, they can't have what I've got:blah: so I take it as a complement. They break there necks and I laugh:D

I'm also, a white female who's boyfriend is a black man. My family, doesn't have a problem with it at all, his family doesn't have a problem with me either. I don't have a problem with Interacial dating. as long as it's out of love, and not to act or be superior to someone else. You will often find white women walking around holding a black man's hand and looking at a black woman like they are less just because. that's not right... As long as the relationship is build on LOVE then I don't care what color you are... Just be happy. cause I am :)

Aren't muslims against white people...black power...stick it to the white man?? Just curious because my husband was asked to join.

[quote=cynadream]You will often find white women walking around holding a black man's hand and looking at a black woman like they are less

That sounds like hostility, besides who really cares. People need 2 mind their b-ness, you dig.

Bitter Bitch Syndrome..:( .. I don't think so....I think the reasons the black women act like that, its because of the exact same reason you posted in here....how people don't agree, or your family don't approve.... I think black men should not waste there time trying to prove themselves to anybody, they know who the hell they are... who cares if the next white man do not approve of a blackman dating their daughter ....hello :idea: ....leave their offspring alone and keep it moving...They can easily find another woman where they won't have to go through the BS.

And yes black mother and fathers tend to not want their son's and daughters bring a white woman/man home because they already know when their child do something to piss their white woman/man off the first thing the white female/male does when he/she is mad is call them a N*****.

I am not racist and i love all colors, I am just keeping it real here..i don't care who dates who as long as they are not dating my man. I am just letting you ladies know why they act the way they do...oh and trust me most of you think its also because they want your man and they don't.

So i Quote Cynadream "As long as the relationship is build on LOVE then I don't care what color you are... Just be happy"

Quote:"they already know when their child do something to piss their white woman/man off the first thing the white female/male does when he/she is mad is call them a N*****."

^^^This is a negative statement that adds fuel to the fire we call racism. I am a white woman married to a black man, and the 1st thing I do when I am mad is not what you said, rather I deal with my husband on terms that both of us find acceptable, like discussing our issues. People hate what they do not know or understand, if you assume that what you said is what white people do, you are no better than the next racist, and you don't need to B white to be one.:thumbsup:

Quote:"they already know when their child do something to piss their white woman/man off the first thing the white female/male does when he/she is mad is call them a N*****."

^^^This is a negative statement that adds fuel to the fire we call racism. I am a white woman married to a black man, and the 1st thing I do when I am mad is not what you said, rather I deal with my husband on terms that both of us find acceptable, like discussing our issues. People hate what they do not know or understand, if you assume that what you said is what white people do, you are no better than the next racist, and you don't need to B white to be one.:thumbsup:

If you read my statement right i am telling what i have heard from some black women....I don't give a s*** who goes with who as long as they are happy.

Also.....If you think i am racist for keeping it real....then that is your opinion. It won't change what i have heard so before you try to start attacking and getting offended...you should have read my post entirely.

:thumbsup:

Bitter Bitch Syndrome..:( .. I don't think so....I think the reasons the black women act like that, its because of the exact same reason you posted in here....how people don't agree, or your family don't approve.... I think black men should not waste there time trying to prove themselves to anybody, they know who the hell they are... who cares if the next white man do not approve of a blackman dating their daughter ....hello :idea: ....leave their offspring alone and keep it moving...They can easily find another woman where they won't have to go through the BS.

And yes black mother and fathers tend to not want their son's and daughters bring a white woman/man home because they already know when their child do something to piss their white woman/man off the first thing the white female/male does when he/she is mad is call them a N*****.

I am not racist and i love all colors, I am just keeping it real here..i don't care who dates who as long as they are not dating my man. I am just letting you ladies know why they act the way they do...oh and trust me most of you think its also because they want your man and they don't.

So i Quote Cynadream "As long as the relationship is build on LOVE then I don't care what color you are... Just be happy"

I agree with you on the aspect of black mother's and father's not wanting there children to be with someone outside there race, regardless if your white,asian,hispanic etc... I'm white, and my mans black but I know better than to call him outta his name :) or disrespect myself at that matter, but most of the time when people are angry for whatever reason.. they don't stop and count to 10 and think of the nicest things to say.. I'm not always an angel, but there's just something I don't add to my vocabulary. :D so for all those who are flippin out over diva's post... get a grip and don't take things so personal, maybe it would benefit you to stop... count to 10, re-read her post.... and take it for face value and don't take a twist of it into your own meaning and trip on her!!! :thumbsup:

I just wanted to share my opinion on this topic.

I am a Black woman with two adult sons. Both of ny sons have dated inside and outside their race. Both have had good and bad relationships within and outside their own race.

The only thing that matters to me is their happiness. I will always love my sons no matter "who they bring home" - as long as that person makes them happy.

My father married a white woman (after divorcing my mother) - I have a bi-racial step brother who's grandparents (on his mothers side) would have nothing to do with him only because he was half black. He is an adult now - but to this day he remembers how he was treated differently by these people.

Love is love - we are all God's children no matter what.

Couldn't have been said better!! :thumbsup:
I'm not racist, I'm convinced.... I love me some Dark chocolate, defiantly wouldn't trade him in for the world. :p

I doesn't seem like I'm the one who is offended and I don't care about who is with who either. I read your post entirely and I'm calling it like I see it. We are all entitled to our opinions

I've been married for 10 years and just don't care what people think. I find it funny that other women in the visiting room stare, they can't have what I've got:blah: so I take it as a complement. They break there necks and I laugh:D

lol.. ;)
Exactly.... There's alot of women out there that wish they could have what I got, but the question is do they have what it takes to keep him??
That's what alot of people don't understand.. it's not what you've got or what you can do... It's who you are as a person, and who you are to that individual. Anybody can talk the talk right, but not anyone can walk like we walk or effect like we affect?? "nobody's gonna love you like I do... "

when i came out in prison my wife was shocked and when she found out i was with a black man she went crazy now we are both married to older black men life funny huh?

Shocked eh?? Reminds me of a conversation I overheard while waiting to see my man awhile back, something about being gay for the stay, is that something that happens alot with men and women while they away for the time being??? I can imagine how your wife would have felt, regardless what color of skin the person had... but the fact that it's the opposite sex??? older men?? does that have something to do with it??? huh, I apologize before hand If i offend you.. some people around here takes this way out of context. ;)

As for the Muslim thing. Only Nation of Islam Muslims are less tolerant of whites. Muslims overall are tolerant of everyone regardless of race. I know that most people have a very narrow minded view of Muslims these days but they are some of the most caring and giving people that you will ever meet. My brother used to be a Muslim and people would ask me if he were black. No, my brother has blonde hair and blue eyes.

On the subject of how my family takes me being with a black man. They really don't care as long as I am happy and he treats me right. I was lucky enough to be raised by hippies. Obviously they are open since my brother went on to become a Muslim. He quit when he came out of the closet. The funny thing is that he dates black men, too!!

Also, my aunt and uncle adopted a black girl and a biracial boy both when they were babies who are now grown. My cousin married a black woman and they have a child together. This was before I even thought about who to date. My family got used to the issue of color way before I brought anyone home.

So, I've been lucky. The only thing that my father has ever said was, "I just wish that you would date a doctor, lawyer or indian chief." Basically, he wants more for me than to have to raise 3 kids by myself. He just hates to see me struggle.

I've just had to deal with my man's family. At first they thought that he was just with me because you know how white women are, naive and they let you get away with everything. Guess again, they found out quickly that he didn't get away with much of anything. Then I went through the "all white women have money and good credit." Oops, wrong again. His mother just wanted him to be with a black woman regardless. She and I finally got to talk and she explained why. You see, he is very light-skinned and she is even lighter. When she was younger people used to tease her and call her "white girl." Obviously not a compliment. :( So, she just wanted her son to be with a black woman to "darken" up the family. Weird as it sounds but I understand where she is coming from. Just recently she actually said to me, "I know that he truly loves his kids and I finally realize that he really loves you, too." Coming from her, it was a breakthrough. Last summer she was diagnosed with breast cancer and I spent a lot of time with her and his sister in the hospital. I guess she finally realized that I was a good person and that it was okay to like me. :)

"I believe in recognizing every human being as a human being - neither white, black, brown, or red; and when you are dealing with humanity as a family there's no question of integration or intermarriage. It's just one human being marrying another human being or one human being living around and with another human being."

-Malcolm X

-Yes, he really said this-

I doesn't seem like I'm the one who is offended and I don't care about who is with who either. I read your post entirely and I'm calling it like I see it. We are all entitled to our opinions

I am not going to go back and forth with you about my post. Yes you are entitled to your opinion. You can call it as you see, I did not state an opinion in there, if you are taking as if it is my opinion it wasnt, its what i have heard from several black women. You can call as you see it, its still not going to change what i have heard. I can understand that you don't like it, I don't like it for that fact, but obviously it doesn't change anything.

I don't care what anybody says. I personally have no color preference, it's the man that I fall in love with. I've tried all colors and I found there to be some sorry ones in every color. So for those that have something to say about black men they just haven't run across the good ones I have.

I think a lot of these white women are misguided....on one hand they say that people are ignorant, stupid or whatever because they look ait them weird or they've been disowned. Well, just like you express your "right" to date who you want, your parents and friends are expressing their rights to let you do what you want. Why push your views on them? why call them racist and ignorant because they don't share your views? doesn't that make you ignorant and racist for not understanding how they are feeling? Do what you want, but don't push your views on others.

Babygirl: LOL yes nothing has changed. Not trying to offend you. Truce? :)

Quote: jaspercomp: I think a lot of these white women are misguided....on one hand they say that people are ignorant, stupid or whatever because they look at them weird or they've been disowned. Well, just like you express your "right" to date who you want, your parents and friends are expressing their rights to let you do what you want. Why push your views on them? why call them racist and ignorant because they don't share your views? doesn't that make you ignorant and racist for not understanding how they are feeling? Do what you want, but don't push your views on others.

~ It's not about parents & friends letting us 2 do what we want. We r n't 6 years old. I think alot of people are "misguided", but not just white girls. As far as pushing views on others, it's ok 2 express how you feel, if people are willing to listen, it's up 2 them to adopt your view. Can't we all just get along..haha LOL

OK.... 1 QUES. FOR THE BLACK 3WOMEN WHO SEE IT AS A PROBLEM, & PLEEEEAAAASSE DONT THINK IM BEIN OFFENSIVE. IM REALLY JUST CURIOUS. WHO SAYS THEIR "YOUR" MEN? AND IF MY MAN IS WITH ME ITS CUZ HE WANTS TO BE SO WHY BE MAD AT ONLY THE WOMEN? NEVER EVER ONCE HAD SOME CRAZY TTHOUGHT LIKE THAT CROSSED MY MIND ABOUT BLK WOMEN DATING WHT MEN. PEOPLE CAN NOT BE A POSESSION. I LUV MY BLK MAN NOT CUZ HES BLK BUT CUZ HES "HIM".

AND PLEASE ONCE AGAIN TAKE NO OFFENCE PLEASE

OK.... 1 QUES. FOR THE BLACK 3WOMEN WHO SEE IT AS A PROBLEM, & PLEEEEAAAASSE DONT THINK IM BEIN OFFENSIVE. IM REALLY JUST CURIOUS. WHO SAYS THEIR "YOUR" MEN? AND IF MY MAN IS WITH ME ITS CUZ HE WANTS TO BE SO WHY BE MAD AT ONLY THE WOMEN? NEVER EVER ONCE HAD SOME CRAZY TTHOUGHT LIKE THAT CROSSED MY MIND ABOUT BLK WOMEN DATING WHT MEN. PEOPLE CAN NOT BE A POSESSION. I LUV MY BLK MAN NOT CUZ HES BLK BUT CUZ HES "HIM".

AND PLEASE ONCE AGAIN TAKE NO OFFENCE PLEASE

Hi Lazy,

I don't think anyone here saw it as a problem....Some of the women were talking about why blk women act like they are hating on them because they are with a blk man...I posted what i heard from other blk women because of course i am going to ask when they (other blk women) make a comment about it(blk and wht together)....why do they care who the man is with....so i posted some of the opinions i have heard in the past. and the post up above it didn't take it as she that person cares either ....it sounds more like she is just asking how exactly should more people be open minded with their views when they are not being open minded with other peoples views...I hope i didn't confuse you....

Aren't muslims against white people...black power...stick it to the white man?? Just curious because my husband was asked to join. No Islam is about submitting to allah and believing that he is the only and true god. There are White, black, asian, indian etc.... Muslims all over. So it's not about black power. Yes SOME who classify themselves as Muslim believe black power but that's not what ISlam is about

As far as white women- black men. To each its own but women and ,men please know why your in the relationship. dating a whitewoman or black man isn't a fashion trend nor is it something to play around with. that goes with any and all interracial couples. we as individual races go through so much and then to combine our issues with the other races issues out of pure confusion and lack of knowledge makes things harder to deal with. just know why ur in the relationship and stay on the same page whether the page is white with black letters or black with white letters!!!


p.s. sorry for being all late with a response

What difference does it make what the skin color of a human being is? What color do we all bleed? What is the true definition of the word beggining with the letter "N"? When its not used in slang, or as a raciest remark? Any one ever hear there is good and bad in all races, do unto to others as others do unto you. What I dispise is when a child says "Whats up my N"!:mad: Better to use then "Whats up Dogs"! But of cource this is the iggorance of the society, TV, and the parents.
Ah, yes, Muslims, and Islam, my husband of 13 long years is Muslim, and there is a difference, there are 2 different types of followers, one see white females as "WHITE DEVILS", funny thing is the guy that was like this, a black male, dated my white friend, he was just a idiot, but of course we as humans can be that way at times.
By now you know my husband is a black male, old head, and yes I am a white female, who does not look down on any one because of race. I love my husband for the person he is and visa versa, people don't like it, thats on them, not me. My household is creative you could say, we are a mixed bunch, white, hispanic, and black, guess we are all colored blind? What does it matter, as long as people are happy together............:thumbsup:

It doesn't matter.

Well on this issue I can feel what everone is thinking. I have been in many byracial relationships. I have only been with one white man and he worse then what my dad always thought a black guy would be. I have had bad relationships with black men too. But it's not the color that makes people bad or mean it the person them self.I personally have been with black men for about 18yrs, I love my boyfriend and he loves me It has taken my dad a long time to get used to the idea of his daughter going out of her race, But my boyfriend has chaged all of that my dad fianally sees that he truley loves me and is going to take care of me and his 2month old daughter.. As far as black wemen some don't like it but my best friend and sister to the soul is black.So I say to others don't let anyone stop you from being happy.

. . . WHO SAYS THEIR "YOUR" MEN?
No one in particular.

Example 1:
I was watching a show and 3 or 4 black men were asked how they feel when they see an educated black woman doin her thing in a relationship with a white man. What they said is they don't like it and that they feel like "we have lost another of our good black women."

Example 2:
White racists feel they have pride in "their people", in "their race". So when a white woman, God forbid she's white with blond hair because to them that is like the closest to white purity, takes up with a man of another race, those white racists feel the same way, that "we lost a one of our good white woman to them . . . ."

Example 3:
Gangs are mostly made up of the same race. If a girl from Gang1 falls sweet on a guy from Gang 2 which consists of members of a different race, members of the respective gangs will feel like they have are losing "one of theirs".

So nobody owns any body or any race, that's just something that people say.

For all of those who are white females with husbands and boyfriends who are black and who are serving time. What are some ways you have expressed to your family and friends who think you should stick to your own race and find someone who isn't serving time. I get the response on why don't you date someone who is free and why waste your time on someone who can't give you what you need while locked up. Then they give me that "look" when I have told them them that Damon is black and I get the feeling they aren't really into me dating outside my race. Any ideals on how I can be "me" and still be accepted by others? Also do you run into black women who get upset that you are seeing black men, acting like we are taking their men away from them?

I have always experienced this no matter where i am at.And what black people in general fail to understand is what white females go through being with a black man. Not only do we get the racism from our own families, but most all white people but we also get it from be black folks. So really white girls that date black guys have it worse than any other race, i believe. I have been fired because my husband was black, I gave been looked down apon by my family and the worst is when we go to the grocery store or something and all races stare..Buy you know what I aint even bout to go there with any race because I have 2 beautiful little girls and a good man. As far as your family trippin, I feel like what I do is what I do and if you dont agree move around. All of my family and all of his family dont mess with any of us and that is cool because we do just fine alone. If they cant bring no positive then i dont need to be caught up in any kind of drama. I got enough with my man being in prison.

. . . All of my family and all of his family dont mess with any of us and that is cool . . .
No it's not, but I hear what you saying, but that is so sadly uncool. Both yall parents know they really ought be ashamed of theirself. My heart really goes out to you and your family because I don't like that, and I don't like how it makes me feel to hear that's how they're doing yall. You and your husband just pray for them because yall know and I know that things shouldn't be the way it is, which means all we can really do is pray for them asking that God turn their hearts around.
:grouphug: <-- me hugging your family, I'm the one in green

Props to you hesohandsome, always trying to educate. Even when people straight up are identifying people- specifically black women- by their skin color. If they only knew.

I met my dream man Markus in a weird situation on the streets of Toronto. I was a second year university student looking for a joint, he was living in a park off Yonge street selling weed. I asked him for a hq, we decided to take a walk by the waterfront while he waited for his hookup. We ended up talking for 7 hours, and we've never really been apart since.

He's as black as black comes, and I'm French/Irish.
Imagine me calling home... "mom... I'm in love, but he's homeless, broke and hustling to get by."
Love conquers all. :)

__________________________________________________ _____________________

I think i am going to let this one go! However, I am now convinced that COLOR is always going to be in the back of the white womens mind. In love or not. Does it really make a difference if the shade is lighter or darker?

I think you're missing the point. If colour mattered in love, a lot more of us would be swingin' singles.:D
Skin colour matters about as much as foot size does. In other words, it doesn't.


__________________________________________________ _____________________

I think i am going to let this one go! However, I am now convinced that COLOR is always going to be in the back of the white womens mind. In love or not. Does it really make a difference if the shade is lighter or darker?

I think you're missing the point. If colour mattered in love, a lot more of us would be swingin' singles.:D
Skin colour matters about as much as foot size does. In other words, it doesn't.

I apologize if i am missing the point but im confused why the statement was made about the male figure was as black as the come. It struck some hairs on the back of my neck. I maybe missing the point. what are you saying by it.

LOL ALL I CAN DO IS LAUGH CUZ I SO THOUGHT THAT WAS ME WHO WROTE THAT. MY PARENTS NEEEEEEEVVVERRRRR ACCEPTED IR RELATIONSHIPS. WELL I WAS IN A CAR ACCIDENT 2YRS AGO THAT LEFT ME PARALIZED. I HAD TO MOVE HOME AND WAS TOTALLY DEPENDENT ON MY FAM. WHICH ENABLED THEM TO TRY AND TAKE CONTROL OF THINGS THEY DIDNT LIKE. I THEN MET DONZELL WHICH WAS THE BEST DAY IN MY LIFE. HE ACCEPTED ME FOR ME & DIDNT THINK TWICE BOUT MY SITUATION. HE ALREADY HAD 1 POINT AGAINST HIM CUZ HE BLK, THEN 2 CUZ HE VIOLATED & WENT BACK TO PRISON. WHICH OF COURSE WASNT ACCEPTABLE. AFTER ALL THE SHIT I WENT THRU AND STILL AM, DONZELLS THE ONLY THING THAT MAKES ME HAPPY. I LUV HIM & IF NO ONE WANTS TO BE HAPPY FOR ME THE ONLY THING I CAN SAY IS OH WELL AND CONTINUE TO DO THINGS THAT MAKE ME HAPPY NOT ERYONE ELSE.

I apologize if i am missing the point but im confused why the statement was made about the male figure was as black as the come. It struck some hairs on the back of my neck. I maybe missing the point. what are you saying by it.

Actually, after thinking about it I think it's me who should probably apologize. I guess it must be part of that thing we all know exists and all hate, white privilage. That means that as a white woman, I don't even think about how my comment about my bf's skin colour could affect someone else. Particularly when there's no context added. On the outside looking in, I can see how it's a weird and uncomfortable statement. For that I'm sorry.:o

In fact, I find him so utterly beautiful I am in awe of him. He can't be with me where I am right now, but we write and talk often. It's been 3 years and I still marvel at how this wonderful man came into my life. :D
I wouldn't change a thing about him.

Thanks lil beezy! i am with snowbaby on that. It is nice to hear a black women say she don't mind it. When me and my man got together 3 years ago alot of his ex's and female friends he use to have were talking crazy cuz he is with a white girl now. i think interracial relationships are great! my female friend whose is black just married a white man so it goes either way!

me and my husband have been together for 3 years and there are still so many haters out there and there are so many people waiting and thinking that i am gonna slip. my parents still to this day do not accept the relationship/marriage BUT they accept our beautiful 4 month old daughter. it is so wierd. my dad is coming around casue he sees how much we love each other and how much my 6 year old loves him, but MY GOD my mom is stuck on the black thing and it drives me crazy, i feel like telling her get over it, "TILL DEATH DO US PART" :)

This may be long but this is my story!
Robert and I met when I was fifteen. My parents were not accepting it! We snuch around and seen each other and when I was 16 almost 17, I got sick of hiding! We grew up in Arkansas and it wasn't accepted. I tried to be honest with my mom and dad and they were furios. To try and make this long story short, when I was 17 I ran away with Robert and my mom but me in a mental institution. Everyone tried to get me to leave him alone but this year it will be 15 years that we have been together off and on! More on than off! I am sure some of you know how that is. We have good times and bad but our love has just grown stronger and we don't think about what other people think! By the way we have a beautiful 8 year old daughter and a hansome son that will be 3 in November! Some of my family says today that they put us through all that drama for no reason because they finally learned that we were going to be together!
It turned out to be all worth it. It makes our love stronger today!:thumbsup:
EVERYONE BLEEDS RED!!!!!!!WE ARE ALL GODS CHILDREN!!!!

"Upon meeting a new person, if we listed how alike we are.... the list of differences would be very short " I've been researching religions, due to the fact, that I'm an English-Irish(by descent) Catholic, and my son-in-law is a Muslim from Tunisia. I have always tried to live my life by The Golden Rule" (Do unto others, as you would have done unto you) And EVERY religion has a version of that "rule".... I can only surmise, that the people that hate others for no real reason, have no faith, no religion and nothing of real value in their life. How sad for them... don't hate them, feel sorry for them and say a prayer for them. :)

1st i have to say that this is great that we are ALL able to to talk about this... i think its been needed for a while.


Another blk womas take on the subject, I DONT CARE!!!... LOVE is LOVE...from my own experience as being a Black/Cuban woman that has a Mexican husband, i recieve the same treatment.


I believe that the majority of the black women who believe that its wrong to date a white women are set in there ways and tend to be older women at that. (Not to say that there all old), but from my experience.


I have aunts that are from my blk side and dont approve of ME because im not "BLACK"...crazy huh...My skins a little lighter and my mother isnt black, but that sure in the hell doesnt make me any less of a black woman! It has never crossed my mind when filling out a job application and filling in the circle that says "African American"...

Hatred is all around, regardless of who or what is being targeted. Love who you want to love.... and if they dont life it (F**** them)....Its your life ladies and live it the way you want to.
Hope i gave some light on the subject and i apologize if i offended anyone, this is just my thoughts and experiences!

kEEP ON.....

I'm with a black man and I'm a white woman. Ive been with JayJay for 2 and half years *and still going strong!* anyways, before jayjay, ive dated black, camboian, white, p.r guys. I never saw color, I saw THEM. To me, they all are human beings that have feelings, a mind, and when cut, they bleed red as well. I have not experienced people staring at me and jayjay based on our color skin except in the city where jayjay is in jail. There's more percentage of white people more like 85% of white people and 15% black people and other nationalities. So when me and jayjay lived there, we'd go to the movie store or a food store and we'd park and when a white person parks next to us, they'd stare and give us dirty looks. Jayjay had mentioned that it bothered him, he'd be like "why are they starin at us? its just too obvious and that bothers me" I told him straight out that they are not worth complaininig about. They dont know SH#T about us. I told Jayjay that they are just a bunch of wannabe rednecks that think black people are scary. To me, those people in the city where jayjay is in jail at.... those people that stared at us in regard of our relationship and our color... are wimps. I never cared what they thought about us. In Jayjay's hometown back in Michigan *where i met him* There's 75% black and 25% white and other nationalities and nobody gave us dirty looks there. They had respect for our relationship, *they even know jayjay so they know* lol. That's the only situation I went through with peoples discrimiation on ir relationships. BUT... there's my dad. I knew he was a racist in the past... but once he met JayJay, he took a real liking to him and looked past color. When my dad first met JayJay here in NY.... my dad went up to him and handed out his hand and shaked my boo's hand. That was the biggest "change" *idk if thats the right word* I ever seen in my dad. Right now since Jayjays in jail and all that, my dad's definitely on his side. My whole family loves him, even my crazy niece and nephews! LOL. JayJay met my grandma once 2 months ago and she just loved him right there. She really liked him. I wish jayjay could have seen grandma again before she died but at least they got to meet once and I'm very proud of that. :D

My man is black, I am white. My parents have been up and down (and I really hate it) about the whole situation. I started dating a black guy when I was 15. At first my parents REALLY didn't approve of it. He came to the house and hung out and they absolutely LOVED him. We ended up breaking up because he cheated on me and then they judged ALL black men on being cheaters, liars, etc...just because of him. I never introduced my mom and dad to ANY of the guys between the first, and now hopefully, the last*HOPEFULLY we'll get married*. They know about Cortez. I don't really say alot to them about him but they know what's going on. I'm now 19.. I still live with my parents but I do pay more than my share of bills...I could leave at any time but I decide to help them. They give me more and more respect everyday and they are now starting to realize that I am going to be with who ever I want to be with. Its like a weight is lifting off my shoulders everytime my mom says something about Interracial relationships...she's learning to accept it day by day. Her main worry is the negativity that others will throw at me, my man, or in the future, my kids. But I don't see anything wrong with it...in my world, there are no colors...just Love. You can't help who you fall in love with. On the whole situation with the black women...I have had a little trouble. I have been in clubs where the white to black ratio was 1 to 50. For me, I'd rather be around black people as to white. I am totally comfortable around ANY race, white, black, hispanic, asian, whatever. But when I'm in the club I've heard girls saying "Why don't she go to a white folks club" or "Look she dancin wit him...She knows she need to go on somewhere" or "Don't she know this is a BLACK club". It's happened a few times...mostly out of the younger crowd. I'm not concerned about what anyone thinks.... The way I see it, if they wanna be concerned about ME...go 'head. I just came to have fun. I do have alot of friends, black, white, hispanic....I'm not worried about the colors...I'm worried about the TYPE of person you are. I don't see color...I see personality.Now, I do understand the anger when a white girl walks around sayin the n word & tries to act like she grew up in the ghetto... But those are the girls who aren't REAL. If you stay real with it, you should have no problems.

I would just like to share this information with all of you women involved in bi-racial relationships. First let me say that I am a beautiful, strong black woman and I have to agree with the author of this note on just about all of this....so if you would like to have a real perspective of what "brothers" really think....hope this will enlighten you.

Subject: FW:WHITE WOMEN'S OPINION OF BLACK WOMEN]


Good morning! I had to pass this on -- I think it is worth it!>

> White women's opinion of black women & a brother's response
>
> Please take a moment and read this. Pretty Deep! Thumbs up to this black > man..
>
> Enjoy.
>
> It seems that an article was written to Sister 2 Sister magazine by a > Caucasian woman who requested a response from black men. I'm so glad she > got what she asked for (and more) !!!
>
> Dear Jamie:
>
> I'm sorry but I would like to challenge some of your Black male readers.
>
> I am a White female who is engaged to a Black male-good-looking, > educated and loving. I just don't understand a lot of Black female's > attitudes about our relationship.
>
> My man decided he wanted me because the pickings amongst Black women > were slim to none. As he said they were either too fat, too loud, too > mean, too argumentative, too needy, too materialistic or carrying too much > excess baggage.
>
> Before I became engaged, whenever I went out I was constantly approached > by Black men, willing to wine and dine me and give me the world. If Black > women are so up in arms about us being with their men, why don't they look > at themselves and make some changes.
>
> I am tired of the dirty looks I get and snide remarks when we're out in > public. I would like to hear from some Black men about why we are so > appealing and coveted by them.
>
> Bryant Gumbel just left his wife of 26 years for one of us Charles > Barkley, Scottie Pippen, the model Tyson Beckford, Montell Williams, > Quincy Jones, James Earl Jones, Harry Belafonte, Sydney Poitier, Kofi > Anan, Cuba Gooding Jr., Don Cornelius, Berry Gordy, Billy Blanks, Larry > Fishburne, Wesley Snipes...
>
> I could go on and on. But, right now, I'm a little angry and that is why > I wrote this so hurriedly. Don't be mad with us White women because so > many of your men want us. Get your acts together and learn from us and we > may lead you to treat your men better. If I'm wrong, Black men, let me > know.
>
> Disgusted White Girl, Somewhere in VA
>
> RESPONSE
>
> Dear Jamie:
>
> I would like to respond to the letter written by A Disgusted White Girl.
>
> Let me start by saying that I am a 28-year old black man. I graduated > from one of the most prestigious universities in Atlanta, Georgia with a > Bachelor of Arts Degree in Business Management. I have a good job at a > major corporation and have recently purchased a house. So, I consider > myself to be among the ranks of successful black men.
>
> I will not use my precious time to slander white people. I just want to > set the record straight of why black men date white women. Back in the > day, one of the biggest reasons why black men dated white women was > because they were considered easy.
>
> The black girls in my neighborhood were raised in the church. They were > very strict about when they lost their virginity and who they lost it to. > Because of our impatience to wait, brothers would look for someone who > would give it up easy without too much hassle. So, they turned to the > white girls.
>
> Nowadays, in my opinion, a lot of brothers date white women because they > are docile and easy to control. A lot of black men, because of > insecurities, fears, and overall weaknesses, have become intimidated by > the strength of our black women. We are afraid that our woman will be more > successful than us, make more money than us, drive nicer cars and own > bigger houses. Because of this fear, many black men look for a more docile > woman. Someone we can control.
>
> I have talked to numerous black men and they continuously comment on how > easy it is to control and walk over their white women. I just want to set > the record straight. I want A Disgusted White Girl to know that not all > successful black men date white women.
>
> Brothers like Ahmad Rashad, Denzel Washington, Michael Jordan, Morris > Chestnut, Will Smith, Blair Underwood, Kenneth "Babyface" Edmonds, Samuel > L. Jackson, and Chris Rock all married strong black women And, to flip the > script, there are numerous white men, in and out of the spot light, who > openly or secretly desire black women over white women. Ted Danson, Robert > DeNiro, and David Bowie to name a few.
>
> I just don't want a disgusted white girl to be misinformed Stop thinking > that because you are white that you are some type of goddess. Remember, > when black Egyptian Queens like Hatsepshut and Nitorcris were ruling > Dynasties and armies of men in Egypt, you were over in the caves of Europe > eating raw meat and beating each other over the head with clubs. Read your > history!
>
> It was the black woman that taught you how to cook and season your food. > It was the black woman that taught you how to raise your children. It was > black women who were breast feeding and raising your babies during > slavery.
>
> It is the black woman that had to endure watching their fathers, > husbands, and children beaten, killed, and thrown in jail. Black women > were born with two strikes against them: being black and being a woman. > And, through all this, Still They Rise!
>
> It is because of the black women's strength, elegance, power, love and > beauty that I could> never> date anyone except my black Queen. It is not > just the outer beauty that captivates and draws me to them. It is not the > fact that they come in all shapes, sizes, colors and shades that I love > them.
>
> Their inner beauty is what I find most appealing about black women. > Their strong spirit, loving and nurturing souls, their integrity, their > ability to overcome great obstacles, their willingness to stand for what > they believe in, and their determination to succeed and reach their > highest potential while enduring great pain and suffering is why I have > fallen in love with black women.
>
> I honestly believe that your anger is geared more toward jealousy and > envy more so than snotty looks. If this were not so, then why do you > continuously go to tanning salons to darken your skin? If you are so proud > to be white, then why don't you just be happy with your pale skin? Why do > you continue to inject your lips, hips, and breasts with unnatural and > dangerous substances so you can look fuller and more voluptuous?
>
> I think that your anger is really a result of you wanting to have what > the black woman has.
>
> BOTTOM LINE: If I were looking for a docile woman, someone I can walk > over and control, I would give you a call. But, unfortunately, I am > looking for a Virtuous Woman. Someone that can be a good wife and mother > to my children.
>
> Someone who can be my best friend and understands my struggles. I am > looking for a soul mate. I am looking for a sister and; unfortunately, you > do not and CANNOT fit the bill.
>
> No offense taken, none given.
>
> Signed, Black Royalty

Interesting post cdmack - but that is his opinion and a response to what she wrote, which was ridiculous in itself.

I know for a fact - none of that applies to my inter-racial relationship. We can't change overnight what has been going on for centuries. If you can't take the heat of being in an inter-racial relationship - get out the kitchen...

Up to the time I was in my early 30's I had always lived and worried about what "they" would think. I finally had enough and demanded to know who the hell "they" were and why the f*** I should care what they thought. At that point my mother picked herself up off the floor and walked out of the room. Since then I have dated who ever I want, usually black, of course but I no longer live my life according to some else's expectations of me. Believe me, this has made me a much happier person, more contented and has, in general, improved my quality of life. By the way, my mother was 87 before she finally admitted that her father was "black". That time, I was the one who picked himself up off the floor. I, of course, had always known that he was (and that I was too for that matter) but I/we had never ever expected that she would admit it. Who says you can't teach an old dog new tricks. My grandfather was Afro American, could not pass as white to save his soul and was the man I loved most in the entire world. He was my role model, he was my inspiration, and, because he took me out of an orphanage at the age of 10, he was my "father" and I have known no other nor would I want to. God is good and He made us all in HIS image.

Its nice to read other's situations and issues with family/friends etc. I found some of these stories to be much like my own situation, which is my parents.
The thing that really gets me about my parents (mostly my dad my mom is very aggreeable) is that they claim to be such fabulous Christians, yet my dad slings derogatory statments around. To me, that isn't Christian-like behavior at all. God is love, and Jesus came to preach love.
I am almost 30 years old and haven't lived with my parents since I was 17. My dad hasn't been the easiest person to live with. I've dated all kinds of guys, mostly white, and to me a guy is a guy is a guy. Now, however, I have actually found the person I'm going to spend the rest of my life with and he just happens to be black. When my father caught wind of this (I tried to ease it in with conversation with my mom) he said some of the worst things I've ever heard in my life. I refuse to even repeat these things. He doesn't even know he's in prison, because he didn't take the time to ask anything about him! So basically, it doesn't matter to him whether he's a nice person/good for me/to me etc. He's wrong for me because he's black.
I tried religious reasoning with him, and some of my dads responses were beyond ridiculous. There is no talking to this man, so fine.
Neither my brother or I have children, so my parents are really wanting some grandkids, especially my mother. As sad as this is, I see my parents geting a divorce after 40 years if my dad tries to isolate my mother from seeing her grandkids, or tries getting her to shut me out once I'm married.

The way I see it, this is my dads problem. He is the one with hate in his heart, and as much crying as I've done over this, I refuse to let this get to me anymore. I can't be responsible for my dad's actions. He will have to answer for them himself. The most I can do is go with my heart and trust God.

I am bi-racial I have been married to a black man and a white man. People are people unfortunately even in 2006 racism still exists. I am fortunate to have been raised by family where color is blind. I choose my mates for who they are as a whole. Yes I have heard all kinds of comments. And I have to admit sometimes it is really sad.

I'm gonna respond to this from my point of view and that is being a white girl. I too am a white girl dating a black guy with a mixed baby. I grew up around my white family but choose to be with my daughters fathers family more. Black people were brought up differently and have higher hopes than that of a white person. I go to the mall and shopping everywhere with my boyfriend (when he wasn't in prison) and at first i did get dirty looks and sometimes i still do but i don't feel like it is the black girls fault nor do i think that they are jealous. Black women are stronger and want more out of life and believe it or not, i've heard many many times that the reason why black men date white girls is because they are easy and they are willing to be controlled.

I first of would not put myself in that category because first i'm not easy at all and i like to be in control. It has nothing to do with color, it's just that white women are "dumb" when it comes to relationships. Learn to treat your man good ane he'll treat you like a princess. I learned from experience

. . . Learn to treat your man good ane he'll treat you like a princess. . . .
I think if a man treats his woman like royalty it's more about how he feels about her, rather than how she treats him. That he is going to love who he love because you can't help who you fall in love with, allthewhile HOPING that the person he's fallen/ing in love with is one who treats him well.

If a man is treating his woman good AND SHE'S FEELIN HIM, assuming she's not issue ridden, she's going to treat him good. :yes: But if his game is messed up, a woman who feels she deserves better won't be gung ho about treating him so good. And, she may even be calling him out because she knows he's up to no good on the sly. So yeah, a man in this situation could repeat back to others "she didn't know how to treat me."

What being SMART is, is as a woman yourself, remaining conscious of how women get down. That when our man is treating us good and we're feelin him, that we are going to treat him good as well. That if he says he wasn't treated good, it's okay to wonder "could that be because he won't no good?" :confused:

:confused: Hello everyone,

We need some help
I am just trying to get back to where I was last night. I needed help to find someone around Delano. Name is Charles Calhoun, black male, maybe late 40s, from San Diego area. Lost him in system somehow. fi you know of this person please tell him to contact Robert and Donna at this email...dm_2saint@yahoo.com


Robert and Donna

. . . Don't be mad with us White women because so > many of your men want us. Get your acts together and learn from us and we > may lead you to treat your men better. If I'm wrong, Black men, let me > know. . . .
I honestly do believe that some white women believe that part of the quote.

And, I wonder if they know that while they believe black women hate on the black man/white woman relationship, that the #1, 2 and 3 hater of those relationships are white men. For that reason, this is why some black men will purposely choose extremely fair white women particularly with light colored hair as a paper and showpiece wife. It's not blacks he's showing her off to, it's his way of telling the white man for all that he does to Blacks "up yours whitey, what do you think of my wife -- yeah, a black ass n_____r like me with a real light white wife like this." That's why some whites, particularly on the corporate scale, have an unwritten policy to only meet the quota, and if there is no quota, then do not hire no black men up in here. That be their way of at least trying "to protect" the white woman in the work place.

Crack and cocaine is the black man's drug, and that's why so many black men are locked up -- 70% at least -- who get locked up do because of drug relatednes. The Rockefeller laws are basically to keep blacks in prison and off the streets. So when I see the interracial couples in the prisons, I LOVE IT because white men need to face the fact -- no matter how they say blacks got the most AIDS and blacks take up most of the slots in prison (except maybe out in the original indian territorities of this country) that there is nothing they can do or say to keep the white women from wanting black men.

White men with their devilishness cracks me up -- I just laugh at them because they really need to give it up. How long ago was it again that they killed up the indians and took their land while stealing a race of people to bring them here to work the land. If whitey would just leave blacks alone, THEN I honest to God do believe race problems between blacks and whites in America will go away. But until then, until white men can look at black men with white gals and feel "it's no biggie, live and love", I can tell you now -- racism ain't goin nowhere.

Not all -- just some.

:wave:I have been dating black men forever. I am white and have even been called racist against my own colour! Go figure? I date black men because I am attracted to them. Some people like blonde men, slim men, dark haired men, muscular men. I like my men big and black. My Son is mixed race. My parents have a real problem with it, so much so that we are no longer in contact with each other. But this is my life!
My man is black. So what? Its just a colour! We all breathe the same air, no one is better than anyone else in this world. We are all created equal. :hifive:

Quote:
Originally Posted by cdmack
. . . Don't be mad with us White women because so > many of your men want us. Get your acts together and learn from us and we > may lead you to treat your men better. If I'm wrong, Black men, let me > know. . . .


This made me cringe. There is something wrong with any white woman saying this, and it's an embarrasment!

I'm white, my husband is black. I have never thought anything like what that woman said. I don't understand it. I have dated all different races of men. I just happened to fall in love with a man who is black and marry him. We don't sit around talking about "I'm white, you're black", etc. We are just 2 people who love each other. I never think about his race. I think that lady in the quote has some serious issues. It sounds like she is dating black men so that she can feel superior to black women, IMHO.

My boyfriend is a black man. I am a white women. I have white daughters. My niece is black. Many of my friends are black. I don't see color and this thread depresses me. I love a person for who they are and their race and/or the color of their skin is so unimportant to me. Those negative attitudes about bi-racial relationships are that persons problem. Not mine.

sorry 2 change the subject but im confused. help me out with this one. people say "i don't notice color?" i can see people saying the color of a person doesn't determine the nature of the relationship but 2 say you don't notice 2 me is a falsehood. u do notice if some1 is african-american or caucasian. why do people think it's bad to say "yeah, im atttracted to men who have brown (not black - never met a person with black skin) skin. it's okay to say you prefer a man whose skin is dark just like it's okay to say your preference is tall/skinny/athletic/muscular men.

He'sGettingOut---

I can't answer for everyone, but when I say, "I don't notice color", well.

Of course I NOTICE what color someone is, just like if they are tall, short, etc.

When you said, there is nothing wroing with saying you prefer a man with dark skin....well, I DON'T prefer a man with dark skin!! There are good looking men in every racial group, IMHO. And I have dated men from all different racial groups.

So I guess for me, I am not really saying I don't "notice" color, I just don't care! My husband doesn't get any "bonus" points from me for being black. I could just as easily have fell in love with a white guy as a black guy.

Alot of times people think just because a white woman is with a black man, she must prefer black men. Nothing wrong with it if they do prefer black men, but I don't.

I said what I feel. I am not literally white either but its the term is used for me and the term "caucasian is rarely used. How about not picking apart everything and making a NEW issue. WHAT I AM SAYING IS COLOR MAKES NO DIFFERENCE TO ME.

I said what I feel. I am not literally white either but its the term is used for me and the term "caucasian is rarely used. How about not picking apart everything and making a NEW issue. WHAT I AM SAYING IS COLOR MAKES NO DIFFERENCE TO ME