Welcome to the PTO Lifers forum! My name is Dawn and I reside in Michigan. I have been involved with my Lifer since 1998. I am 40 years old and have 2 children that I have raised to become wonderful adult individuals. I came to PTO in the hopes of receiving emotional support and meeting those in my situation. This was accomplished and now hope to provide help and support to others.

Having a ‘Lifer Loved One’ brings along many special circumstances, comparable only to those on Death Row. There are situations and circumstances we must deal with in the reality that our loved one may never come home. I hope to help provide a non-judgmental/comfortable place for others to receive support and share. I ask that everyone practice unconditional acceptance of others and the life choices they have made. Not many can understand these choices…please respect individuality.

I treasure the friends that I have found here, and hope that you will also find the joy and support that has helped me so. Please take a minute to introduce yourselves. Also feel free to make any suggestions for the forum...

Dawn

Hey thanks Dawn... this is a great idea, and what you say is so profound about the special realities of lifers' loved ones and the need for a place of unconditional acceptance.

Oh I forgot the intro! Well I am from California and a very close friend is just starting to do 26 to life, which means in reality he may or may not ever be paroled. For a number of reasons we are not a "couple" but we have a lot of love for each other and I am committed to staying by him thru it all. I've already raised a few stepkids and am enjoying life, my career and my friends and family. Through letters, visits and calls, my guy and I try to make the best of what we have now and are not putting off life today to wait for some uncertain future. It's hard (understatement of the year!!!!) but worth it.

~waves to Dawn~

Hi, everyone :D

My name is Susan, and I have been with Shawn for two years now....he is serving a 15-to-life sentence for murder. We met through a co-worker who sent me his online penpal ad; after looking at it for a month, I couldn't put off writing him any longer. Strangely enough, I never got to thank the girl who brought us together, as she left the job before I had the chance.

I am from Providence, Rhode Island, but have just relocated to Kansas in search of a much quieter life...as well as the opportunity to spend time with my guy. Previously, the distance between us made that impossible; now I am less than 25 minutes from his doorstep. I have a beautiful 15-year old daughter who is still on the East coast with my parents for the time being, and I am the proud owner of two of the goofiest dogs ever :cool:

As Dawn mentioned, there are unique challenges to loving a Lifer. Dealing with the system is hard, but it's even more difficult if the light at the end of the tunnel is dimmed by a possibly endless sentence. Since I've been married twice before (and have packed a lot of living into my 37 years, LOL), I feel I am at a stage in my life where I can handle the concept that he may never come home. I may not like it, and have had some sad days mulling over the "what ifs", but overall I try to remain as optimistic as I can. I've researched a lot of similar cases in the Kansas legal system, and was surprised at just how many prisoners made parole on their first or second attempt. It's still a toss of the dice at best....but I try to remain as supportive as I can for him. I have every intention of living my life to its fullest, regardless of his incarceration....and he wouldn't have it any other way. Lots of old hobbies and new pursuits (including gardening!) in my immediate future ;)

He has given me the gift of being able to love again, when I thought that emotion was all but lost to me. So no matter what happens, I will carry his soul in my hands forever.

Much thanks to Dawn for taking on this forum...hugs to you, girl!

Hello everyone!! My name is Donna and I found PTO i think about 2years ago just basically looking into the prison system when the love of my life was sentenced to LWOP (life with out parole) I live in Massachusetts and was attending a group of friends and families meetings,i found i was not really getting the venting and support i needed dealing with this sentence.. i have known brian over 20 years. I met him when i was 15 years old .. i am 38 now.. i live in salem mass the "witch" city just landed here about 12 years ago, through no choice of my own.. :))) but am happy with it, i love my job!! wow.. i am crazy. i go to school full time, i have a gorgeous, charming, self centered 17 year old son.. i have two cats and love nature, yoga, music, reading, and people..!!
i have been in recovery for 11 years this july 27 .. and brian supports me, also emotinally and want s me to continue living my life, i visit reguarly because i am only 1 hour away. ANd i am just praying for the day of contact visits.. or OUT .. for good on appeal.. he is currently in a max.. and has been for 5 years now or 6.. i dont' know i think this is enough out of me.. Thanks.. i need this support group so much.. not everyone in my life understands.. this.. it takes a very strong person to continue living this. but i could not do it any other way..!! I love my man brian.
THanks Dawn

DOnna another scorpio down for life:

Hi everyone, my name is Lisa and I'm from Cincinnati, Ohio. My boyfriend is doing LWOP in a Michigan prison, and as of 10am this morning, I have a nephew doing LWOP plus 50 years in Ohio. As Dawn said, this is a forum for us with "special needs". No children with 2 legs in my house, but I have the 2 most beautiful girls money could buy! I have found the meaning of being loved in the morning before you can comb your hair!
I'm a nurse and I work with the cutest little girl who just turned 1. If I'm not doing peds, I do psych.
I love anything that has to do with the outdoors, as well as holing up in the house and playing hermit with my books and movies.
I found PTO when I got sidetracked and it was the best thing I ever did. This has been a place of much support in my relationship with Gary as well as in my personal life.

Hello, my name is Melissa from California and my husband is a lifertoo. We have been doing 14 1/2 yrs already.He was railroaded and I pray God can help me find a way from my husband to come home.We were together before he went to prison. I am 32 and he is 57.I have no children,he has 3 grown children from previous relationships. He is a wonderful man. He has always treated me like a Goddess and put me on a pedistol.It has been 8 yrs since we were able to have family visits.It is very hard being away from Ken.I have been disabled now for 3 yrs due to an injury to my back and ankle. I recently had my 3rd surgery on my ankle last March. I have to be in a cast until Sept. Finances have been rough, I just finally got my Social Security disability.I live alone and I am very stressed. I have faith that God will set me husband free sometime very soon.I look forward to talking to you all.
Many Blessings
Melissa

Hi everyone. I'm Yasmeen from California. My fiance is serving 25-Life, 24 of which he has already served. I work at a Juvenile Detention Facility in San Bernardino. I have 2 children ages 6 and 8. I met Byron in February 2003, so I have been doing this a little over a year now. We met through a co worker of mine who visits her brother in law at Lancaster State Prison. The 2 hours I drive to visit at Donovan State Prison is worth it. I am so happy to have met someone like him! He's a bit older, but we click in every way! I'm finishing his sentence with him and its not easy, but I am determined..this is the man I love and want to spend the rest of my life with. I'm grateful for the love and support I get from PTO.


Yasmeen

Hello everyone,
Im a 30 year young woman inlove with a 10feet tall man that's serving 25 to life with posibility. We will soon be tieing the knott. I do hope to find support on this forum

much love
traviesa

Hello everyone My name is Christy, and my husband is a 15tl Lifer. I have done 8 years with him and we been married almost 2 years. And I'm in Los Angeles. I've been a member on Pto for 2 years and Love to post. I have learned alot from being with my husband, that family will never understand on why I do this. and learning more on the process getting my husband to recieve his date and its all political. My occupation is Professional makeup artist and also going back to school. I love to learn new things!

Hello, ladies. My name is Janis, and I currently live in Oregon. The wonderful man I'm engaged to is serving a life sentence in Florida; I'm moving there next month to be closer to him, and to make my life a bit less demanding and hectic. Michael and I have known each other since long before anyone ever even THOUGHT he'd get in trouble, and have been best buddies until a couple of years ago, when our relationship changed to what it is now; I wouldn't have that part any other way. Despite everything, he's still entirely the person I've always known, loved, and admired, and I'm so proud of him for being able to retain that.

As to me, I have no human kids, but several furry & scaly ones. I was in police work for over 20 years, civilian and military, and am now an EMT, and love it. I'm a pretty quiet person; love gardening, reading, working on projects around the house (this is the third old house I've restored, and am looking at the next one), going for hikes & almost anything outdoors; lots of things. I espeically like doing things I know Michael would enjoy, trying to see everything for both of us, so I can share it with him later.

Since Michael and I were friends when his situation became what it is, I think I'm pretty well adapted to dealing with the fact that he'll probably never come home. Still, I want to make sure he knows that home is there for him. We spend a lot of time pretending, and imagining that we have a normal life; I don't know if that's good or not, but it seems to make him happy, take his mind off where he is for the moment, and give him an anchor to "real life". Shoot, I miss him SO much!

Anyway, thank you all so much for being here, and sharing so unselfishly with the rest of us in this situation. You're SO appreciated!!!

hello< my name is kim and my husband is doing 25 to life. he caught this case on the inside, he was only susposed to do 16 months. he never came home. anyways we have been married 15 years and our daughter is also 15. he has been in 14 years and to make things worse he is doing his time up at the bay (pelican) in calif. i live in the high desert and he is in "shu" has been for 10 plus years. i am a medical assistant

I am back!! under a new name!! due to this being a public forum and my use at work,my boss had access to my forum.. i have been under a lot of stress as you can all well imagine!!

Welcome to the new people in the lifer's forum.. i am sure you will find love, support , and laughter (smiles) here.. vent vent and vent.

SHIVA65 also known as Donna C!!

just dropping by to say y'all are awesome...when I want some real stuff about love transcending, I read lifer ladies! plus it makes ten years look tiny.

My name is Ronnie and I live in Atlanta, Georgia. My husband is in NY and his sentence is 25 years to life. He has done 22+ years already. He goes to the parole board in April 2007; but of course there are no guarantees. We have been married for 11 years. I am with him for the long haul. Our faith in God and in each other gives us the strength and power to keep going.

I just found PrisonTalk yesterday and I am so glad that I did. This is a great forum of support.

Hi, my name is Lori. I am 43 and living in California. Two of my kids are grown and gone, but I still have an older teen living at home. I have a very close friend serving a life sentence at New Folsum. We've known each other since we were kids and by marriage, we became relatives. He is always on my mind and forever in my heart. I just don't want to ever make him a promise I can't keep. I am single by choice and I really love my independence, but I admit it can get lonely sometimes..... Since loving a lifer is the topic of this forum, I'm in. Thank God there is a place were we can be accepted, not judged for who we love!

geee :D so nice to meet every1!!! I'm very happy to know more about every1=)

I am not that good at introductions, I have a hard time talking about myself! hehe :) But since I am here, I will say this......I am in the "lifer" forum for a reason. So if ever any1 needs to talk I am here and will be here awhile =)

Hi! My name is Carina, I´m 40 years old and I have 6 children, I met my fiancé through a penpal ad 14 months ago.I live in Sweden and my fiancé is doing 27 years to life in NY, he has already done 24 years. I will be going to visit him for the first time next weekend.

Hi all- My high school sweetheart is locked up in the SHU at Pelican Bay. He is doing 28 to life and has been down since 1997. We have a daughter together who is 9 yrs old. I graduated with my BA in criminal justice and am currently working towards a masters degree in criminal justice. We broke up a while before he got locked up but have always stayed in touch because of our daughter and our rich history. Lately we have started communicating better than ever b4 and I think reviving our love. He has grown up alot and shows signs of maturity. I wanted to introduce myself and will be visiting this site more frequently. I am currently working on my thesis that has to do with how the SHU's are damaging to inmate mental health, so im always happy to hear peoples views and thoughts on the issue. He has an indeterminate Shu sentence so he will probably never get out of there. I fear he will die in there cause he was involved with NF.

Hi,
I originally posted in this thread because my boyfriend (now my ex) was a LWOP. I remain here because my nephew Adam was sentenced to life + 50 here in Ohio. Although I don't require the type of support that somebody with a husband, wife, etc.... might require, I still need support. I'm trying to help and be there for him as much as I can, but without some support myself, I won't be able to do it.

Hey Lisa, there are several of us here who have lifer loved ones who aren't spouses/boyfriends/girlfriends... but being there for someone doing life is a still a big commitment for anyone and support is where we're at. So I'm glad you're sticking around! :)

I've been posting in the lifers forum for a few months on a regular basis and never thought to post an introduction..some of you know me and my situation but the new members may not, so that is why I am posting my introduction at this late date!
I've been married to my husband for 19 years. We've known each other since childhood dated most of our teen years and back together again a year before he fell. I left him for a year and a half after he went to prison....pretty much didn't want to deal with the prison scene, realized I was miserable without my love and came back.
He's been in prison for 21 years and has adjusted very well in spite of his sentence. I joke about him alot to the ladies here but I do love him more than anything and he has all of my respect.

hi pto my name is danielle and my special friend is a lifer he's been down for 10 years we have been friends for five years and i love him to death he ask me to be in serious relationship haven't said yes yet but i'm in for the long haul of coarse my family thinks i'm insane he's the sweetest man i meet

Hi, Im Tara. Im 26, never been married, no children, live and work in New York. I met my boyfriend through a pen pal add almost 2 years ago and have been together about 8 months. He is also 26 and in a FL prison serving lwop.

Hello,
I just registered today and this is my first post. I am unsure as to if I should be here or not. I am in love with a lifer but I met him in an awkward way and I hope that I can find support here without resentment. I was a CO at the prison and actually just lost my job yesterday because of our relationship. I may even be charged with a felony because they know I kissed him. That is all we ever did but they said that is sexual contact with an inmate therefore a felony. Our relationship was never sexual but we are very close and I love him. He is now in seg. because of all of this and I am out of a job. I don't know how I can write him. I can't imagine my life without contact with him. I know I won't be able to visit for at least two years but that I can deal with as long as I can find a way to communicate with him. I was quiting my job anyway because I could not deal with the way people are treated in there. I was always fair but that got me in trouble sometimes. Thanks for listening.

Wow.. well welcome anyways.. :) and i am sure you will fit right in.. i have not seen a post in the lifers forum .. bashing any co's.. ok.. i am sorry for your situation.. love is love.. and sometimes we pay HIGH prices.. for it... follow your heart.. good luck


Peace
Donna

Hello,

I am Anjeweleyes. I'm 36.
I met my lifer on a favor for my best friend (at the time). She wanted to meet his cell mate, I got on his visiting list so he could come to the VP when she went to see her bro. That was 14 years ago.
I fell really, really hard...real fast. He was so kind and loving to me, never almost a word out of the way. We could talk about ANYTHING. It got to where we almost felt like we were just living off one central brain...But, I was always afraid to totally let go and trust him. He was a hustler back then. And, as much as I loved him...I just couldnt' believe that he could love me like his letters described (no man had EVER expressed himself like that to me before). We went through alot of ups and downs. I went through alot. But, that's just how much I loved him.
After about five years, I got into some trouble, couldn't deal with it. I took some pills and they baker acted me. My mom had to keep the girls for three days and so she told me that if I didn't get out of Florida and away from him she'd make sure I went to jail and take the girls forever. I was afraid she had proof somehow, so.....I went.
I met a man I thought I could deal with, got married and moved to Indiana. He was trying to get me away from everything. And, it wasn't just my lifer, lots of things. And, I am so ashamed, but I never told him about the threat just that I was leaving the state...OVER THE PHONE NO LESS!
Anyhow...after alot of therapy and finally getting the attitude that I just can't make everyone happy all the time, I was alot more stable. But, I still couldn't get him out of my soul. I was married now and I would have dreams about this man and just sit and wonder about him sometimes. I would pull him up online a few times a year, but I tried to stay away from it as much as possible.
Well, I remember one morning waking up and having this feeling that I NEEDED to check on him, I just had this dreaded feeling...
I fought with this for several weeks, but this feeling haunted me no matter what I did. I pulled him up online to see he was at another CI and he was in CM. But, this was not what got me...his picture was different. His face was different. (I could never say messed up, he'd be a darling to me no matter what.)
Anyhow, I tried to talk to my husband about this and it hit the fan. But, I couldn't help it...
Anyhow, to say the least, I am back in Florida now. Just the kids and myself. I have found out that he was being pushed around by these two guards, one day one of them finally hit him... and he and another guy broke bad on them. After they got everyone calmed back down the guards took them into this room and beat the cold living hell out of both of them. The other one died. I was told it was in the newspaper. He didn't get charged with it because he won the case. But, he spent two years in solitary.
Well, I also found out that he's getting married next month (Oct. 04).
I have only wrote to him and received one (almost) letter back as of now. He said nothing about getting married, just that things have changed and says he wants us to keep in contact...and, he wants me to come see him. "A good old fashioned sit down..." he says.
Now, any other time I would fight, kick, scratch and scream about this...but, his mom tells me that the lady he's marrying is willing to pay for a lawyer for his appeal. Dead end road. I would die before I'd mess that up for him.
Supposedly she's found one that will do this for a $10,000 retainer, and she has no problem with it.
Well, I have no idea where I fit in now, but well see. I do know that he's told his lady about me (supposedly EVERYTHING) and that he and I will always be friends. (Could I deal with this if I was her?)
That's why I need this place so much, even more than ever now. I have a tiny inkling of what he wants me to come see him about. But, I don't know...I am just miserable with all this...wondering and kicking myself about leaving in the first place.
I wish so much that I'd found this website nine years ago. (Was it around then?)
I could deal with doing this for the rest of my life, knowing that the only way I'd ever be able to spend any amount of time with him (even maybe) is if he dies a slow death.
But, I would much rather deal with him being married and thousands of miles away with someone else if he can get out. I know him. He is just an old free bird and prison has settled him just too much for my liking.
Yall please don't be too rough on me. I have been treated kindly enough by my family over all this.
Thanks for reading if you got this far...sorry so long.

Anjeweleyes....Thank you for sharing our story.
"Yall please don't be too rough on me. I have been treated kindly enough by my family over all this."
THIS wont happen here, we are here to help and support you. Follow your heart...

Happy that you have found us, posting here will help you as well. It has worked for me for quite a while now. As far as family, my favorate saying is "Well its not like I'm asking ya to have him to dinner!" :)

Hang in there and best of luck to ya.

Dawn

I've posted a couple of times in here, but let me introduce myself to everyone. My screen name is Ice Queen. I live in Alaska, am married to a State Trooper and we have one son (17) at home who will graduate next year.

My son is awaiting sentencing based on a plea agreement, which I in part helped talk him into - it was that, or have him face the death penalty, which I just couldn't do. So, he'll be doing life w/ possibility of parole after 35 years. That means life - he'd be 73 by the that time!

My son started getting into trouble when he was probably about 14, but nothing serious, or so I thought. He was first charged with Armed Robbery at the age of 16. I was just floored. Thought there was no WAY my kid could have ever done that. Yeah, uh-huh. Anyway, it went downhill from there, and the drugs just kept him right in the thick of all that was wrong and bad for him.

He tried to commit suicide twice when he was younger, and has been in and out of prisons ever since. We were actually estranged for the last 15 years, because I couldn't deal with his breaking into my home, etc. So I told him to straighten up and then we could re-establish a relationship. That never happened.

When I got the call several months ago that he was facing two death penalty charges, I thought I was going to die right then and there. It's been a slow process, but I knew I had to be there for him. My husband, who's actually a State Trooper, was extremely instrumental in talking me through all I was feeling, and making it safe and good to re-establish that relationship. Does that make sense?

At any rate, we've seen each other, talked to one another and of course, should have stock in the postal service, with as much as we write one another. He'll be transferred back to Washington State after sentencing, which is scheduled for October 7.

Some days I think I've got it "covered" - and others, I think I'm losing my mind. Know what I mean? I write him and talk to him about "normal" things...just want to share my life with him and let him try to experience "normal" life through me, if at all possible.

Sorry this was so long. So good to have others to talk to who understand, because as I'm sure many of you know - family and friends just don't get it.

I am so sorry to hear your story.My husband is a lifer and was wrongfully convicted serving 2 life sentences for defending himself.My heart goes out to you.WE have served nearly 15 yrs now.When a loved one does time in prison, the family does time too.It Is hard and it never gets easier, or better.I am still fighting for my husband. I just started a petition for my husband. I have the site paoted in the prison petion forum and in this forum, Set Kenneth Lett Free Petition, if you would like to sign and read our story.I will keep you and your son in my prayers. I hope things will work out for you.We are all here to help one another.
Take care and God Bless you,
Melissa Lett

This Is My First Time Responding To Any Thing My Husband Is Doing 25 To Life For A Murder. He Was The First One To Break The Gun Law Here In Calif That Gray Davis Signed He Was The Example We Have 2 Kids A Son 6 And A Daughter 4 She Was 1 Week Old When He Went In We Barely Talk Or Write I Have Moved On Since All This Because He Wasent The Greatest Husband We Were Both Very Young 17 And 18. But I Just Hate For People To Judge Him It Offends Me. I Just Wish He Could Be Out For Our Kids He Was A Great Dad.

This Is My First Time Responding To Any Thing My Husband Is Doing 25 To Life For A Murder. He Was The First One To Break The Gun Law Here In Calif That Gray Davis Signed He Was The Example We Have 2 Kids A Son 6 And A Daughter 4 She Was 1 Week Old When He Went In We Barely Talk Or Write I Have Moved On Since All This Because He Wasent The Greatest Husband We Were Both Very Young 17 And 18. But I Just Hate For People To Judge Him It Offends Me. I Just Wish He Could Be Out For Our Kids He Was A Great Dad.


I am sorry to hear about your husband.It's a hard life having a loved one in prison and then to have 2 little ones too.My heart feels for you.I hate for people to say things about my husband too, but it doesn't bother me too much anymore because I can prove Kem was railroaded.I have come ro realize that the media doesn't report the truth in most cases and the media is responsible for what the public thinks.It's not the public's fault by what they hear and read in the news.But you are in the right place.People don't understand unless they have been thru it themselves.And we are all in the same boat here.We are here for you if you need something.
God Bless You,

Welcome Big As The Sky - we are glad that you found us. You will find some great people here with big heart and soft shoulders.

Hi to all you great people! Well I have been around here for awhile and just found the introduction forum...go figure. Josh is serving a LWOP sentence at Menard in Illinois. Felony murder, I am glad that there is a hault to the death penalty right now, because he would have gotten that. Josh and I met through a penpal ad HERE and look where we are now. I am engaged! Can you believe it, I sure can't. Anyway, I recognize many of the names here and I love all the support that is given.

Hey there, welcome!! :) Glad you wandered over to this neck of the woods where everyone understands!

Hello to you all,
My name is Tasha and i have a friend doing life in Pelican Bay.It would be nice if could be more but seeing that i am in Canada and he is CA we see know way of it happing right now.I found this site by luck i actully was doing some searching on Pelican Bay.What a horrable place to be doing time i feel.My self i am 36 have two kids and four furry kids.I like to read,play scrabble do jigsaw puzzles.I work in the system up here in Canada.I am glad i found you all because it's hard when your heart tells you this maybe the right one for you and you cannot even see each other.We have talked on the phone but he only calls once a month due to fact it is a lot of money.If could
afford to have him call everyday i would!!!Anyhow it is nice to *meet*you all and hope to talk to you all soon.

My name is Isabella - but everyone calls me Bella - I live in Wisconsin and my fiance is incarcerated in North Carolina - doing a life sentence for murder. That he started when he was VERY young.

I always laugh at myself and say leave it to me to fall in love with a lifer! But - I have never met anyone that completes me as he does - never met anyone that is in such tune with me. You know that missing puzzle piece that people talk about - well he is mine.:p

We are in the process of starting another appeal where there was a split decision before. It just gets so frustrating to be dealing with this alone, seems like no one else in the world understands.

I go thru these forums and see all these people with countdowns until their man comes home - and I dont get a countdown - :( .

Anyways - I love Daniel with all of my heart and soul and would not change meeting him or embarking on this journey with him for anything - but I am hoping to find people who know what I am going through and we can support one another!

Welcome to PTO Everyone ! you have definately came to the right place for support and understanding!

Hi. My name is Cathy. I am new here and oh this has been something that I have needed for a long time. I am married to a wonderful man who has a life sentence. He has to serve a mandatory 25 years and then he is eligible for parole. He has already served 12 years, so we are about half way home. (hopefully).
We have just been together fo over 2 years. I honestly never ever in a million years ever thought I would find true love with someone in prison, let alone someone who has such a long time to serve. I met him through a friend of his. I wrote to him more or less as a favor to his friend and well he was kind enough to write me back. We got to know one another and then I went through a difficult time and he was there for me and supporting me. He became my best friend and there was no way I could stop myself from falling in love with him. I love him so much. I only want him and no one else could ever do. What I feel for him is so real and so strong. I would wait forever for him. I am complete with his love. Our letters, phone calls and visits are enough. Just knowing him is enough for me. He was transfered just 10 minutes away from my house, so we are so close.
I am happy with him.
BUT my family and friends don't understand. I don't tell many people of my love as everyone it seems begins to lecture me on what they feel I need or else people look at me like I am crazy. I have learned to keep things secret as no one understands. That it until I found PTO.

Yasmin - welcome to PTO - we are pleased that you found us and welcome you with open arms to our "Lifer Family". If you ever need anything just ask - us lifer lovers are a unique lot and we have a lot of compassion and understanding. Take care of yourself and if you ever need to talk feel free to PM me!

Stay Strong!

Ok here goes. My screenname is lovehurts for obviouse reasons. My husband is serving 25 to Life with possibility of parole of which he has done 12. Yes he was railroaded and stupid for using the Public Defender instead of contacting the family and hiring a Lawyer. (But that's another story :)) I am 26 and we've been back together for 6 years and 3 as man and wife. Between us we have 3 boys ages 13, 9 and 7.

Thank you for this beautiful world where very different people can come together for a common goal: Ease this limbo we are in until our loved ones are home.

Hi everyone. I am Andrea. I live in New Jersey. I moved here 3 yrs ago from NH. My man is serving 25 to life which he has done 22. So 3 more yrs till parole. (Fingers and toes crossed). We have been together almost 4 years and plan to be married soon. I'm 55 yrs old with 2 grown kids. One no longer talks to me because of this choice that I made. I thought I ahd raised her to be better than that but I guess not. But I would not be anywhere other than where I am now. And if I had to I would wait forever for him. And I am so happy to have found all of my new friends here on PTO. Just wish I had found all of you sooner!

Hi lovehurts and MrsPhil! Welcome! You are definitely in a great place where many others feel what you're going through...:)

I'm researching legal changes, decisions and trends from all states for a site I"ve been retained to work on, and am trying to get a 92 yr old man in Michigan released (oong battle considering he was convicted in the 60s soley on a written statement later admitted to be a lie for lighter sentence, while other witnesses not involved in the crime identified another person, but were ignored).

long story short, there are changes in Ohio law, CA law and a case before the supreme court on death sentencing to legal aliens on the heels of a dutch filed world court suit againsst big unk, and that and HB 4886 in teh michigan house can end up even helping old law lifers get paroled where none was previously possible.

If anybody knows of an angle I'd do well to follow on top of those I've been on the last month (and I've covered wuite a bit of ground with the help of a few friends), let me know. If it's useful info to you, chances are somebody else can use it too. (I also have a "panic button" on the site for anybody needing help finding info *now* that i check every day). This all helps me figure out what info is needed and relavent, as I am new to this, and don't know anybody in prison other than the few who have contacted me who have demonstrated wrongful convictio or blatant rights violations.

I'm also trying to track down good non-gov orgs for folsk to go to, and I'm hesitant to place an out of state org (not from michigan) and maybe only be helping a 15% fundraiser actually exploiting the folks they "help". Only want solid help for any needing it. Any suggestions are more than appreciated.

Hello,
I am in an Organization www.innocentinprison.org (http://www.innocentinprison.org)
We are a group of volunteers that help inmates were were wrongfully convicted, innocent or on death row.This is a world wide Organization and we have Coordinators all over the place.We are still seeking volunteers to help.I will attach the questionaire for our program.They do have to be sent back to our director in Germany and she will review them and appoint a volunteer to work on the case.We do this with from our hearts.I am one of the California Coordinators.I work with another who is going to school to become a paralegal.We also have a yahoo group you can try there for help as well.Email me privaetly and I will give you the details.Please check out the website and see if it appeals to you
Many Blessings,
Melissa Lett




I'm researching legal changes, decisions and trends from all states for a site I"ve been retained to work on, and am trying to get a 92 yr old man in Michigan released (oong battle considering he was convicted in the 60s soley on a written statement later admitted to be a lie for lighter sentence, while other witnesses not involved in the crime identified another person, but were ignored).

long story short, there are changes in Ohio law, CA law and a case before the supreme court on death sentencing to legal aliens on the heels of a dutch filed world court suit againsst big unk, and that and HB 4886 in teh michigan house can end up even helping old law lifers get paroled where none was previously possible.

If anybody knows of an angle I'd do well to follow on top of those I've been on the last month (and I've covered wuite a bit of ground with the help of a few friends), let me know. If it's useful info to you, chances are somebody else can use it too. (I also have a "panic button" on the site for anybody needing help finding info *now* that i check every day). This all helps me figure out what info is needed and relavent, as I am new to this, and don't know anybody in prison other than the few who have contacted me who have demonstrated wrongful convictio or blatant rights violations.

I'm also trying to track down good non-gov orgs for folsk to go to, and I'm hesitant to place an out of state org (not from michigan) and maybe only be helping a 15% fundraiser actually exploiting the folks they "help". Only want solid help for any needing it. Any suggestions are more than appreciated.

Hi I just joined this website three days ago, my fiancee is a lifer in Florida, I am 38 and he is 34, our paperwork to get married just got approved by the Chaplain and Warden and is being sent to Tallahassee for final approval.

Congratulations, Leenallie!! And welcome to Lifers forum / PTO!
Abelle

Brian, I am interested in "HB 4886 in teh michigan house can end up even helping old law lifers get paroled where none was previously possible.". Tell us more, please, in a new thread.
Welcome to PTO!
Abelle

Hi Christy,

I just recently joined PTO and is loving the support i get from reading up on the many of woman in my situation. My husband is doing 15 to life too. He's been down for 13 and we have been married for 11 years. Your right people will never understand. But God does. EM my and let's become support buddies.

Hello everyone My name is Christy, and my husband is a 15tl Lifer. I have done 8 years with him and we been married almost 2 years. And I'm in Los Angeles. I've been a member on Pto for 2 years and Love to post. I have learned alot from being with my husband, that family will never understand on why I do this. and learning more on the process getting my husband to recieve his date and its all political. My occupation is Professional makeup artist and also going back to school. I love to learn new things!

As I have been posting here a while it is about time I introduced myself:
First of all 'my' lifer is not my SO for many reasons (like an ocean between us, triple life sentence with no parole, an other man floating around in my life somewhere......) but he is my dear friend and in the year we have been writing each other became close buddies. I live with him through all the moods and phases he goes through, and I know I can count on his support and advise when needed. A great friend!
Also I have a couple more pen pals, 2 on death row, and 2 other lifers (one LWOP and one with a chance but even he himself does not think he'll get it......sad story.....also he has a son on death row........) It is great to have these men as pen pals in my life.
And recently I added a new one with whom I broke all my 'rules': this one is not well into his 40's ánd has an out date.

my son is in a ca. state prison. calipatria to be exact.he got 46yrs. to life and what is even sadder is that he did not do what he was accused of...his co-defendents made sure that my son was the fall guy

my name is cynthia and im in love with a real lifer my vato is lock up in pelican bay SHU those are the most ugly words you can say,since ive been with him for a short time it feels like i love this man ,he is everything for me he makes my life go in circles and one day i love to have fantancy`s that one day he will sweep me off my feet but that is imposible,gabriel has been in the SHU alone 20 yrs he will die in there sad to say but ill be by his side for as long i can breath ,love does excits throu pen and paper,he has no one just i the one who really loves him ,my tear drops my heartbeat that is him

my name is cynthia and im in love with a real lifer my vato is lock up in pelican bay SHU those are the most ugly words you can say,since ive been with him for a short time it feels like i love this man ,he is everything for me he makes my life go in circles and one day i love to have fantancy`s that one day he will sweep me off my feet but that is imposible,gabriel has been in the SHU alone 20 yrs he will die in there sad to say but ill be by his side for as long i can breath ,love does excits throu pen and paper,he has no one just i the one who really loves him ,my tear drops my heartbeat that is him


Welcome Dormilona13 - Welcome to PTO and welcome to the Lifer Forum. You will find a great bunch of ladies here that will understand your good and bad days - who have big shoulders, big hearts and great strengths.

Hey dormilona (like the name!) I am also from Cali... welcome. Betrayed said it well, this is the place to be for understanding... :)

Hi Dormilona, my man is also in PB shu, 28 to life. Hes been down since 1997. I know how you feel! Welcome and come visit us in PB forum too!:) Qwerty is the best, you'll soon see that! :)

My name is Dawn and I'm from a small town in Oregon. I met my lifer through my cousin, it all started out as being pen pals and escalated from there.. We have been seeing each other for the past 2 years and consider ourselves very happy. I just can't see myself without him, he has taken in my son as his own and provides him and I with all we need, well most all we need. It gets very lonely at times and I just tell him to "Keep the Faith" and see what happens... He asked me to marry him in November and I said YES!!:D and I'm very excited.. We plan to marry in October of 2005.. So it looks like we all have alot in common... Thanks for listening

Welcome to PTO and the Lifer forum Dawn!! Glad you found us!

Hi ladies, my name is Leslie. I am fairly new to PTO and find it an incredible source of strength and support when so little of it exists out here. My wonderful man is doing 25 to life on a murder charge. He has been in for 26 years and been approved for parole. We are now waiting for him to start & complete work release, but there is still an obstacle in the way. The governor must okay his release and politics being what they are, you never know, but we are extremely hopeful.
I became involved with Kenneth at the age of 15, but when he went in 1978, since I as only 17, I had little choice but to go on with my life which I did. I am married to another man, but that will be ending within the next few months. I have three grown sons from this marriage.
I tracked Kenneth down back in February and wrote to him and luckily he remembered me, which I hoped he would, we did date for two years after all. Anyway, I found with him a very tender soul, one who realizes the high price that he paid for doing drugs. He has been kinder and more loving to me in just the past few months than my husband has been in 24 years. I think only the ladies on this site can understand the depth and the breadth of the love I bear this man. I will wait for him as long as it takes. If he never gets out, then I will still be with him, after losing him for 26 years, I have no intentions of ever losing him again. Thanks again, for this site, and I'm looking forward to our chat Sunday nite.

A big welcome to leenallie, lilwng, TanyaW, dormilona13, ernest&dawn, lkendrick, and anyone else I might have missed! Welcome to Tulip as well, even though we've been friends for a while now! LOL!

This Forum is second to none for support, and I look forward to getting to know you all ;)

Yep, I second what Irish says, the lifer forum is one of the warmest around!! Welcome to you all...:)

Hi Ladies, I'm new to all this, but I have met the man of my dreams, he was introduced to me by my best friends fiance' that was doing time with him. He began to write to me last May but for odd reasons I keep putting him off, I just kept receiving letter after letter until one day in September I decided to write him back. I then was approved to go visit him, I went to visit him for the first time in October and my life was completely changed. I love this man, like I've never loved before. He proposed to me on Feb 12th and I accepted it. He's servings 15 to LIFE and has just completed his 15 years this past November, he goes up against the parole board in 2 months (April). I pray so hard every day, for the Lord to allow the person who makes me complete to come home. It's not easy, but their love keeps us going!!!

Hi and welcome!!!! :D

Congrats on your engagement and best of luck with parole... keep in touch , we are here for you whatever happens!

hey ladies,

I totally forgot to post here, where is my head. My name is Chris, and my husband is a lifer for 15-L. I met him thru a friend of mine. At the time she was writing to his cellie back in 1996. He wanted someone to write to, I read his letter and he just blew me away, he made me laugh and I just wrote back and the rest is history. We connect so well with each other, and we are like buddies we like to have fun and laugh.
This is the most hardest thing I have ever done in my life is waiting for him. But he made loving him easy. And the second is not having sex for 9 years. But I'm very faithful to him.

Hey welcome Chris!!!!!! (Even though you've already been posting in Lifers :) )
Keep up the laughter, it is the best healer...

Thanks Q,

I love it here and feel the love in this forum.

Well, I'm new to the lifer scene. My man's death sentence was just reduced, and I'll tell you, I'm embracing the life sentence happily! We're still appealing, but at least he'll be alive. So, I'm VERY happy to be here... very happy. :)

Well, I'm new to the lifer scene. My man's death sentence was just reduced, and I'll tell you, I'm embracing the life sentence happily! We're still appealing, but at least he'll be alive. So, I'm VERY happy to be here... very happy. :)

We are very happy you have joined us!! Welcome to the best forum on the boards.... hmm.. ok I may be a little biased! ;) You will find a wonderful bunch of people here who know what you are going through, who have big hearts and open arms. If you need anything please feel free to pm me. Take care and again, welcome! :grouphug:

Welcome to PTO, This is one of the best places I have found to go and be with people who "get me". You will find a ton of love and support here.....

Theresa

Well, I'm new to the lifer scene. My man's death sentence was just reduced, and I'll tell you, I'm embracing the life sentence happily! We're still appealing, but at least he'll be alive. So, I'm VERY happy to be here... very happy. :)

love&misshim,
Welcome to the lifers forum. Betrayed was right, this place is the best. So welcome, I wanted to tell you to hang on to the hope, and congrats on his sentence being reduced. The same thing happened for my man way back in 1983, he is finally looking at possibly getting out this summer, so it can happen. Anyway, welcome. Leslie

Thanks so much for the warm welcome! I can't even tell you how happy I am that this is the forum for me instead of the capital punishment one. He's not technically a lifer yet (we have to wait for the recommended sentence from the Board of Pardons and Paroles), but I'm pretty sure this is what he'll get. Leslie, that's awesome that he's going to get to come home! I just pray that someday my baby and I will be in that position!

Hi Love&misshim! That is great news!!! We can learn a lot from eachother, I am sure!
Abelle

well my name is Randi and I have know my lifer since i was about 13. We were both in a gang and he was the leader so everyone thought he was cool. YEAH RIGHT!!! He has been down for 9 years in the Texas Correctional Facility. in livingston which also houses the infamous Texas Death Row. He is serving a life sentece for Capital Murder and a 50 year sentence for Attempteed Capital Murder. We have only recently become reconnected we haven't really talked the entire time he has been locked up and just this past Christmas I went to go visit him. I am so excited to reconneted with him and i will be there for him until the End wether that be him coming home or him in there forever which i can't even imagine. I really think Texas is a horrible state to be in prison. My father was there for a total of 26 years and i hope that my friend never has to spend that much time there. His first parole date is not until he is 52 and he is 28 now hopefully he will not have to wait that long due to a writ i am working on now. i need all the help and support i can get. thanks for listening. hope to hear from you seen.

I am back, still with my lifer. I used to post under the name leenallie when the site had problems was around the time I changed my email address so I have not been able to get on for a while.
My lifer and I were approved for our wedding, the next one they do is in June, but we had originally talked about September.
He is sentenced to Life and been in 9 years. We are in Florida

Hello, My name is Deb, my friend is a lifer also, and has been in for 23 years now. He's at Roxbury Correctional Institute in hagerstown, MD. We've been writing for 2 years now, he's special to me and I care alot. He'll be up for parole in Sep 2006, I'm praying that he'll be parole, but he's having doubts because the gov is hard on lifers in the state, from wehat he's told me. All I can do is pray for him, he's been through a lot in his life. But Im here for him......Thanks DEB

Hi Deb! Welcome to PTO and the Lifer's forum!! You will find alot of support and understanding here!


penwife

Hey leenallie-nightbird welcome back!

And Deb welcome...

Feel free to jump into the Koffee klatch thread too

Hello,

I have been on PTO for a little over a month now, and have introduced myself now and then on other forums and threads, but not on this one. I have a very special friend in the NM State Penitentiary who's serving LWP, although it's a life + sentence (forget how much more added to the setence). He and I began writing about 10 years ago and stopped writing in '97. Things have never really been the same since I started writing him again. It's all good, don't get me wrong. It's like we never really stopped communicating! Like we're picking up where we left off. But now we're 8 years older, much wiser (I hope..LOL) and really want to be together. It's been three months already since we began writing again. I'm so glad I found this forum and like others before me, I found it completely by accident. I love the support and that I have a place I can call "home". I don't have to do "life" with him all by myself...I've got you guys...well, we all have each other and that's what I love about this site. Thanks for welcoming me before in my other postings. Hope to get to know many more of you throughout the coming months and years?!? Love you all.... :)

Welcome to the lifer forum!! i am sure you will feel the love , and support..
that is in here... you are not alone.. keep posting

welcome and hugs

Donna

Hi everyone. I hope I am doing this correctly, I am new to using forums so please, if I am in the wrong place would you be so kind as to point me in the right direction? LOL & TY.
My name is Christina and I am from Long Beach, CA. My situation is a bit unusual in that my pen-pal is a lifer. He's serving 25-life, been in going on 6yr's.

(The thing is I have had a few long-term pen-pals whom were inmates and I am not meaning that I was involved romantically or writing them smut mail or anything, just a friend on the outside. I still remain friends with 2 who are now in the free world.)

I am really falling for this man though, we have written for several months and he is sending me an application for visiting (he's in Corcoran). I am not naive and I am sure he is not writing anyone else and he isnt married/no girlfriend. I am not the type that gets attached to a guy at the drop of a hat. I guess thats why I am here talking about this now........ because I am taking it seriously.:rolleyes: It is bringing me to questions re: when would he become eligible for parole, what kind of visits are lifers allowed? Anyway, I respect you ladies for sticking by the men you love and admire you're strength and I would be grateful for any advice or suggestions you may have. Thank you for this forum. And " take care" to all,

Christina

Hi and welcome! You have come to the right place for support and understanding. Sounds like you should go for a visit and see how things go... one thing about lifers, there's no hurry, you can take it slow...:)

If he's doing 25 to life, then he will be eligible for parole after serving 25 years -- since he's done 6, that's 19 years from now... they don't usually get paroled the first time around though. But who knows, there are winds of change blowing in Cali to change some of those practices...

Lifers are allowed regular contact visits like everyone else (as long as he isn't in ad seg or in the SHU).

Hope you stick around -- and let us know how your visit goes!

My name is Natalie and i live in Ohio. My inmate is serving 20-life for aggravated murder, he's only been down for 4yrs. I met him when we were sixteen, we had a few of the same friends, i had a crush on him but was shy. He joined the Marines' and got married. I figured I'd never see him again. About two years later I heard his name on the local news, went and got a paper because i couldn't belive it was him. I cried for about a week, but figured that was the end. Alittle over a year ago a mutual friend of ours reunited us. As soon as i heard his voice over the phone I knew I was in love with him, about two weeks later he told me he loved me without me telling him. He's a good man, he's stubborn though and he's got a wall built that is slowly comming down. We are both 26, and even though i may never see him again alive, i couldn't imagine being with anyone else. He's my heart, my world, and he makees me want to be a better person.
I have felt alone, not being able to talk to people that hasn't lived this experience because of the unwillingness to see pass the conviction and look at the person instead of the 'inmate', has been eye opening. I live in a small town which is the same town he committed the murder, his street friends turned there backs on him as soon as the the bars slammed shut, he has recently reached out to a few, I just hate for him to get his hopes up and then walk away from him again. I'm glad they are talking though because when he was out, his friends were like his brothers, and there was alot of them.
I am dealing with the relationship, it's ALOT harder then i ever realized, but no matter how hard it gets, I'd never be able to walk away. We've been through alot of the ups and downs already, and we both have issues with hiding how we feel(bad days mostly) so the other wont feel bad. He's my best friend and when I cant talk to him I've felt like I had no one. Now that I've found this site, and knowing I'm a part of the loveing a lifer sisterhood, maybe i can start letting out the built up emotions, and not feeling so alone....

Hello Everyone,

I suppose I've been a little remiss in not posting a little intro about myself until now - so without further ado I shall make amends.:)

My name is Steve, I am a 40-year-old single male and I live in Poole, Dorset which, if you have a map to hand, is roughtly half way along the south coast of England. I was born and grew up in the Northwest of England (I'm originally from Bury, Lancashire); I moved to Poole in 1984 for employment reasons and because it is such a beautiful area in which to live. I work for the Royal National Lifeboat Institution (RNLI), a charitable organisation that is responsible for running some 240 lifeboat stations around the coastline of the UK & Ireland. I am employed as a Business Analyst, supporting computer systems that are used by the HR and Payroll departments. The RNLI is a very friendly and supportive organisation for which to work, which is why I have chosen to remain with them these last 21 years.

Out of curiosity (if I was being honest), I began corresponding with a female prisoner located is southern Florida about 4-5 years ago. That penfriend situation lasted about 8 months before it began to peter out. Then, out of the blue, I received a letter from another inmate at the same prison whose name was Paula, who was a friend of the person with whom I had already been corresponding. She was interested in learning about other cultures and customs and had seen some of my previous letters and was interested to know more.

Although I was aware from the outset that Paula was serving a life term, I was never particularly interested in discussing that with her. She was born and brought up in Wisconsin and as our two backgrounds were very different, there was always plenty to discuss. I found her to be most articulate and intelligent. We gradually became closer as time went by - and in May 2003 I flew over to Miami to visit her for the first time.

That first encounter that weekend was amazing; we never stopped talking for 6 hours. It was the same the following day. I discovered that Paula is gentle, softly spoken, polite, considerate and above all, totally honest. She is also very pretty.

About a week after I returned home disaster struck: my mother died suddenly and unexpectedly. When Paula discovered this, she wrote to me the most beautiful, inspiring poem I have ever read. It is posted elsewhere on this forum but I will post it again if anyone would like to read it. Suffice it to say the loss of my mother was a thousand times more bearable than it might have otherwise been.

So, why is such a truly loving soul such as Paula behind bars? Well, that is a story that would take a long time to tell. Perhaps I will mention it a little bit at a time so as not to bore everyone here. However, I will sum it up by saying that she was in a relationship where her partner used to knock her around and beat her up. She had decided to leave him and has a friend that would take her in for a short while, but she needed to collect her belongings. Naturally, she was afraid he would attack her again so borrowed a gun to warn him off (she had never possessed a gun before, much less knew how to use one). Once there, a fight broke out and he pushed her through a glass window and down some stairs, when the gun fell out. A fight followed where they were both grappling for the gun and it went off - sending a bullet into his neck. He died of this injury and Paula received a life term 2nd degree murder conviction.

I know all of this to be true because I have studied Paula's 860-page trial transcript in detail, many times over. She was convicted on the flimsiest of evidence and I am totally, totally convinced that what happened that day was nothing more than a tragic accident.

In recent months, as I have come to love Paula very deeply beyond the point of a lifetime commitment, I did pledge a considerable sum of money to hire a top-rate lawyer, with whom I had a meeting when I was last over there in December (this was entirely my own initiative. It is my view that Paula deserves the best - and the best she shall have). At that time, Paula was considering a try for clemency.

For her part, she has been undertaking a correspondence degree in criminal law with Ashworth College (sponsored by me) and has become a qualified inmate law clerk (sponsored by the State). Her competency in the legal field has been growing by the day. In January, she discovered what is almost certainly a fundamental error in her original trial; the jury were most definitely misdirected. She spent two weeks researching this in the law library and came up with two previous similar cases where this had occurred. In both, the defendant was given a new, belated appeal. Paula has filed for this, citing these cases in law.

As for the clemency - well, I asked her if she would still like me to retain this lawyer and get him cracking on it - or would she rather wait until the decision on the appeal comes through. I received a reply to this question only last Tuesday. Totally selfless and considerate as always, Paula says, "it would be probably better to wait until my appeal brief is heard." She then goes on to say that she wouldn't want me to spend all that money on a clemency try for her when there is a chance she can still fight her case. In fact, she never really asks me for anything at all. I do support her financially, although she has never asked me to do that. When that occurs, she always tells me what she has purchased with it and how much pleasure it has given her.

Paula fell into a hole 8 years ago, landed in prison and was taking all sorts of medication for depression and a low self-esteem. Today she is very highly motivated, believes totally in herself and her abilities, has become very wise indeed and is using sheer guts and determination to dig herself out. She is a shining example of what can happen when the power of selfless, unconditional love takes over.

As for me - well, life has always been (and continues to be) very kind to me. Nothing much seems to go wrong. I am one of the few people who can honestly say that I have no regrets and that I am sincerely happy inside; it has always been so. I came to this group realising that I could probably contribute much to it; my experiences have been somewhat different from many other unfortunates who find their loved one permanently behind bars. However, I am very much aware that life can deal some awful cards sometimes and the day might yet come when I need some advice and help from this forum. From what I have seen already, I know completely that if such a day came, that I could rely upon it.:thumbsup:

Kind regards,

Steve.

I don't believe I posted in here yet and just saw this thread. :eek:

Ciao, My sweetheart is a lifer+40 years.:( He has been in for 10 years now (just had his anniversary) and is currently serving time in a very restrictive SHU. We are praying for a miracle and know God works in mysterious ways. He is a daddy and I am a step-mom (hate that term maybe I can find a better one) to his beautiful children. I pray for them everyday and hope they can avoid the life that their daddy led.

I am a Godmommy to a little baby boy whose father (17yrs old) has been in and out since age 12 and is heading back for a 6 year sentence.:slap: :(

I make siggys for PTO, attend Bible Study and believe we should treat others the way we want to be treated. The lifer people here have been very supportive and a big thank you to you all. :thumbsup:

Ciao

Hi all...

I became a member last year but haven't really done any posting or reading until this past week. I came here for support and encouragements as my hun has been transferred out of miami to the panhandle of florida (ACI) and have been miserable since then.I am used to seeing him every week and now I wont be able to see him as much, just once a month if money permits me to.

My name is Aprila and I am loving a lifer, Anthony, with 3 life sentences and a 30 year mand. He currently has 2 appeals going through as he was wrongfully convicted and innocent in this mess. I am 27 years old and Anthony is 37 years old and we have been together for 5 years, engaged for the last 2 years and haven't set a date yet. I met him while he was in jail awaiting trials. But I saw him in a picture before he went to jail while he was with his ex in '99. When I saw his pic, I knew there was something special with that man. Sure enough, my best friend in 2000 asked me to start writing to him because he was really lonely and no family would come see him nor his friends either. his ex ran off and got pregnant with another man and Anthony left her then. At the time that she asked me, my first thought was no, hes in jail. But my heart got the better of me because i remember how I felt seeing his picture that I thought after, ok ill write to him and be his friend and try to give him the support that he might need. We started writing in august of 2000 and met personally in a contact visit in october of 2000. In that first visit, we both felt something so different and so exciting that 3 months later, he professed his love to me and I too. Our relationship has become the most amazing, loving, and beautiful part of our life together. We are each other's best friend and tell eachother everything and share our hearts together.We are more or less like 2 peas in a pod.

When he was going to trial, 2 of them, it was the hardest thing that I had to go through in my life but i went everyday, even risking losing my job, at his trial because being by his side is what he needed the most. And both trials was a mess that found him guilty followed by months of heartaches and emotional outbursts. On the very last trial day, we were so sure that he was going to be found not guilty because of the fact that there was no evidence or nothing pointing at him, still found guilty. It was even harder than the first and my heart just broke for him and I felt so hurt for him. It felt like I was carrying his burden. and felt very alone. That night, I went to see him. Seeing his face was like seeing a child so painfully hurt. He tried to let me go then but loving him so much and my heart ache for him, I couldn't leave him. Every fibers of my body fought that chance of leaving him because I love him so much and has become my world.

Finding PTO last year and recently starting to become more involved in it has become my savior in the last week. I really admire and cherish all of your encouragements and loving advices that you all give to eachother and hope to make new friends here. And reading this lifers forum about others stories brought tears to my eyes because now I know that I will find the support that I need and a place to go to when I feel my bleakest. It feels as though god brought me here to heal the pains that I carry from Anthony's and myself.

Thank you for everything!

Hello my name is Crystal and I have been with my David on and since high school. I reside in Michigan and he is a lifer with no chance of parol we just recently became ingaged. He is in Terre Haute USP and I love him more than anything.

Hello Everyone ~ I'm Lisa from washington state I'm 43 I have two son 28 and 25 and 3 Beautiful grandchildren 9, 4 ,3. I have been a forklift operator for the JM Smucker company for 7yrs.:)

My cousin Louie is 33 and has served 8 yrs. of his life w/o parole sentance in California State Prison Corcoran .He was charged w Kidnap for Randsom/ louie took this guy who owed him $200.00 from the house he was hiding out in at gun point. He took the guy to serveral pay phones so the guy could arrange to get the money he owed, The last girl he called said she would loan him the money and to wait at the phone booth for her, but instead of her showing up she sent the cops. They found a .357 under the driver seat and 4 1/2 grams of meth in the trunk. penal code defines Kidnap for Ransom any person subjected to any such act who, suffers death, bodily injury or is intentonally confined in a manner which exposes that person to a substantial likelihood of death, the penalty is life w/o parole. Louie caused know harm to the guy and the guy walked freely to and from the phone booths & back to the car, The jury concluded "substantial likelihood of death.":confused: ....... I'm Sorry for turning this into a novel ThankYou all for listening :) Lisa

Hi my name is Leslie. I live in Georgia.My husband is in jail for murder an just got sentenced to life with a possibility of parole. I am trying to be strong for him and our 3 children but I cant seem to get a grip on things.I dont know if life means life or 14 years.I dont know where they will send him.I am so confused. I am glad I found this site.I dont know if it gets easier in time but I sure hope so.

Welcome to our new members!! We are very glad you found us!! You have just joined the best forum on the boards (yeah I am a little biased :blush: ) - the Lifer Sisters are always here with big shoulders - kind words and lots of love to go around. If you need anything, please don't hesitate to ask! Just jump in and start posting and remember we are all here for the same reason, because we ARE strong enough to endure!! We were sent to our loved ones for a reason - not everyone understands, but rest assured, your Lifer Sisters will!!

Take care and chin up!

Hi everyone. I have been a member of PTO since Dec 2004. I am posting in this forum because I have a very good friend who is serving 15 to life. He has already served 9 years.

My boyfriend and father of my children is also in prison, but he will be paroled in Dec 2005. These two are brothers.

I have known this man for about 10 years. We have never been romantically involved, but I go see him about once every month to offer support and friendship since he has nobody else right now.

The thought of him serving his whole life behind bars is unthinkable, especially since he was only 19 when he went in.

Having a friend who is serving a possible life sentence is a real challenge, but we both know that we will be friends for the rest of our lives, whether he is in prison or out.

Hello all!!
A little about me:
I'm a paralegal student and will hopefully attend law school soon. My dream is to graduate from law school and help out within my community preferably people that are unable to help themselves.
Now about my fiance:
My fiance should've been sentences to 10-life on a plea but you know about those supposebly pleas and overworked public defenders.
Anywho my fiance has served 19 years and is up for parole by the beginning of next year, he was denied 5 times but we are hopeful that he can be paroled this time.
I met my fiance before the time of his incarceration when we were teenagers. Then he went in at the age of 18. After I found out that he was in a couple of years later we started talking but I left him after about a year of talking with him because I was 18 myself and was scared to think of being comited to someone that was doing so much time...scared to not have a life. After that time, he never once was angry towards me. He would write to me about once a year to check on me but I was in another relationship with someone else and didn't want him to find out so I just didn't write back however, he stopped writing me for a few years and then out of the blue, recently, last year he wrote to me again, wondering how I was doing and requested if I could write him a support letter, I wrote him back with the support letter. He was very excited to hear from me, coincidently, I just finalized my divorce and moved out of a long relation I was in for many, many years. We started writing each other a lot and fell for one another fast and hard, maybe because of the previous feelings that we had for one another even though our feelings are much stronger then before. I asked him if he can forgive me for what I've done and his response was "I already have". He told me he knew I had to live my life and he's not mad at me for that. I believe it was fate that brought us back together at this point in time. I went through things within my life to prepare myself to be with him. I always go through the "what ifs". What if I stayed with him and maybe I could of had his child because he doesn't have ANY children. It hurts because I believe in his heart he wants to have children and I had to be totally honest with him, that I'm unable to have more children do to my surgery but you know what he told me, that he doesn't want any children of his own but he will accept and love mine as his own and once we are marrried that they are now his responsibily and he takes care of all his responsibilities. I think he's just saying that for my sake because he knows I'm unable to have any more children. Anyway, I'm with him for as long as I'm alive and can accept that he may be in for the rest of his life. I love him just that much. He has a huge family but NO one writes or visits but he has such a good heart and tells me he's not mad at his family because he is the one that put himself in there. He sends his family cards to let them know that he thinks about and loves them. I will do anything for him because he deserves anything and everything good. He has a huge heart and that's why I love him. We will be getting married soon and I'm very excited about it. When we get married it's for life in there or out here.
Thanks all for reading my post and being supportive, I can relate to each and everyone posts.

A big welcome to our recent new members.....so in love, Latinlove, crash4921, nightbird/leenallie (even if you're not technically a newbie lol), Gloria dee56, N8tivNAZ, Crstnamre, luv4alifer, Limeylad, APRILA, crystalbishop, Lisa1961, tjsgirl, tweetwashington, and Twonswife.....

It's so wonderful that you've all found PTO, and I hope you are all feeling right at home!
Please feel free to PM either betrayed_4_life or myself with any questions you may have ;)

Hello Susan my name is liz and I am in kind of the same situation, I have fallen in love with a man who is doing life in prison, I fell in love with him knowing he has life in prison and I don't care. I am also 37 and have been in two relationships, I have been thinking of relocating just so that I can be near him and see him. I have not yet been able to visit him because of our distance. I must say one can not question the heart. Luv is Luv. and reading your letter made me realize I am not alone.:) Thanks again Susan~waves to Dawn~

Hi, everyone :D

My name is Susan, and I have been with Shawn for two years now....he is serving a 15-to-life sentence for murder. We met through a co-worker who sent me his online penpal ad; after looking at it for a month, I couldn't put off writing him any longer. Strangely enough, I never got to thank the girl who brought us together, as she left the job before I had the chance.

I am from Providence, Rhode Island, but have just relocated to Kansas in search of a much quieter life...as well as the opportunity to spend time with my guy. Previously, the distance between us made that impossible; now I am less than 25 minutes from his doorstep. I have a beautiful 15-year old daughter who is still on the East coast with my parents for the time being, and I am the proud owner of two of the goofiest dogs ever :cool:

As Dawn mentioned, there are unique challenges to loving a Lifer. Dealing with the system is hard, but it's even more difficult if the light at the end of the tunnel is dimmed by a possibly endless sentence. Since I've been married twice before (and have packed a lot of living into my 37 years, LOL), I feel I am at a stage in my life where I can handle the concept that he may never come home. I may not like it, and have had some sad days mulling over the "what ifs", but overall I try to remain as optimistic as I can. I've researched a lot of similar cases in the Kansas legal system, and was surprised at just how many prisoners made parole on their first or second attempt. It's still a toss of the dice at best....but I try to remain as supportive as I can for him. I have every intention of living my life to its fullest, regardless of his incarceration....and he wouldn't have it any other way. Lots of old hobbies and new pursuits (including gardening!) in my immediate future ;)

He has given me the gift of being able to love again, when I thought that emotion was all but lost to me. So no matter what happens, I will carry his soul in my hands forever.

Much thanks to Dawn for taking on this forum...hugs to you, girl!

Welcome :wave: to all of our new sisters!! We are so happy you found us - you will find a wealth of information, love and support here. Jump right in and start posting - we can't wait to learn more about you!! :grouphug: If you need anything - don't hesitate to contact Irisheyes66 or myself - we are here to help you too!

Hi everyone. I have been lurking on these forums for a while but thought I should finally introduce myself. My name is Shana. I live in Arizona. My soulmate, John, is in Florida serving a LWOP sentence. John was 15 when he was sentenced as an adult for 1st degree murder. He just turned 20 and has been moved to an adult prison (Hamilton Annex).
My heart breaks for him because he is very afraid of being there, he is used to being only around other juveniles and now he is in the adult prison where anything can happen.
How can I comfort him? Anyone have any tips/advice for him on how to deal with being a 20 year old in an adult prison?

I am really glad to have found PTO. I think it will help John and I alot.

Johnsheart!!

I am so pleased that you found PTO and our lifer family!!! We are here to help you both!!
I think he can find comfort in knowing that you are there for him as always, willing to listen to his fears and to stand behind him 100%. Let him know that we are here for him as well. He'll have a lot of prayers and well wishes coming his way when he needs it.

penwife

Hi and welcome Johnsheart!

I don't know if it helps any but my lifer went in very young too and he says it is actually easier for him in the adult prisons than the youth authority lockups, because the adult prisons are more orderly and disciplined.

Hopefull he will find his way quickly. We are here, meanwhile, for you both.

Thank you all. It has been very hard for both of us. John was just a kid when he got sentenced, and its a hard reality knowing that he's still got a long time to go unless a miracle happens.

John's Heart,
Welcome to the lifers forum, I know you will find lots of support here as have I. I have no special words of wisdom to offer you other than a sympathetic ear. My man has been in for over 27 years. He went in at the age of 18. How he survived all he has seen and been thru I don't know. What I can tell you is that it is survivable. He is now the strongest, most sensitive, kind hearted, talented individual that it has ever been my honor to meet.
Hang in there, be there for him, he's going to need you thru this, and on the days when it just seems to much, remember you have friends here who understand. Leslie

it just seems so unfair that at the age of 20 he has already spent 5 long difficult years behind bars. He never got a chance to have a normal child hood. He is literally growing up in prison :(
More and more every day I am angry with the legal system that allowed a 15 year old child to be tried and sentenced as an adult. They have ruined his life. To say to the world that a 15 year old is not capable of ever changing, by giving him Life Without Parole, is incredibly inhumane.
In spite of having spent the last 5 years of his youth in prison, John is incredibly loving and to the delight of many of the prison officials, he has never been written up even once in these years where most kids are going to get into trouble all the time.

Gosh I really don't know where to begin. Never have I ever seen so much support for people loving lifers. It does my heart good to see this. My name is Kimberly, I am a mother of four gorgeous young men, ages 18, 16, 15 and 11. My Sweethart Steven is serving 15 to life for murder. He has served 16 to date and goes before the board 2006. We have known each other for 4 years, but have been engaged since Feb. of this year. I met Steven through my brother who was serving 5 to 10. He was released this year. I have been very fortunate as far as visits and friendly staff. The people at Ironwood have been very good to the both of us. I visit almost every weekend which is great, my heart depends on those visits, even the ones for one hour behind glass(stinks) I am a full-time student as well as full-time employee. I am currently working on my B.S. My goal is Forensic Pathology. I stay pretty busy so it really helps pass the time until another visit. I think you are a bunch of great ladies to support one another as you do. I have not had any support since I said yes to marriage. I've had to endure many negative remarks, but my little men remind me that the only thing that matters is that Mom and Boys are happy. But it's very nice to know there are more people like me on the outside as well. I wish you all nothing but a future filled with answered prayers, our loved ones home, and much happiness. Lord knows we deserve it. God bless each of you for all that you do.

Welcome to PTO :wave: Loving Steven - we are glad that you are found us. We are a big family here in the Lifer forum and we are happy to have another Lifer Sister. Jump right in - start posting and you will find yourself surrounded by love and support. Take care - chin up!

Welcome Loving Steven. This is a great place for love, support and understanding. When I first found this site I was amazed because I was reading my story, feelings and emotions in the posts from women from around the world. This feels like "home" to me, as my definition of home is a place where you are loved, and supported. My lifer is also at ISP. Again welcome.

Welcome Loving Steven! Everything they've said so far about this forum is true... :). I wish you the best in his upcoming board hearing... meanwhile, we're all here for all your ups and downs!

Johns Heart, I understand that anger you feel about him being locked up at such a young age... I don't understand how our society can just turn its back on children the way we do. It makes me crazy too...stay strong, Q

Welcome, Kim....so glad you found us! This Forum has a wonderful family of folks that is second to none ;)

My fiance has the same stretch as your sweetie, 15 to life for murder. Some days are harder than others, but we're still chugging along.

Pull up a chair, grab a cool drink....and read, read, read.

Oh, and watch for a Lifer chat schedule shortly!

Liz and Shana.....welcome to you both! It's so great to know that more folks in this situation are finding PTO!

Of course, I wish there really was no reason for us all to be meeting like this :rolleyes:
But, together we'll make the best of a bad situation, right?

Liz, I saw your other thread about relocating.....I did a lot of research before moving across the country (schools, taxes, employment, crime, cost of living, etc.), and have been very happy here on the prairie :D

It's not a decision to take lightly at all; there is always risk involved. For me, the benefits far outweighed that risk....so, here I am.
Who'd have thought, a city girl living the country life? Ha!

PM me anytime if you want to talk about the situation in depth, okay?

Hugs to my Lifer family!
Susan

I just wanted to post a quick thank you to all of you. This site really helps me get through a hard day. I will be seeing Steven this weekend so I am pretty darn excited, last weekend was only an hour behind glass, but it was better than nothing. Again thanks for all the encouragement.

I'm doing the behind glass thing right now too... :( but way better than nothing as you say. Have a great visit and I hope you join us in threads or in the Lifers Koffee Klutch!

i have been involved w a lifer since 1998. i met him post-conviction. he met me post-divorce. he listened to me and i listened to him. i have felt very comfortable talking to him about every and anything. we really try to understand where the other is coming from. i love him for caring enough to ask about my day and yes, his day is important too. pto thanks for being there 4 me to read and post to. i'll have to figure how to check if anyone responsed to this post

Welcome to the Forum, evonkiz!!!

Welcome evon .. to the best.. forum..



LIFER SIS'S.. and BRO RULE! AND ROCK

Donna

Hi everyone! My name is Jessica and the love of my life is doing life in Menard in Illinois. I met him prior to his going to prison but really didn't get to know him well until after. He was one of the ones on death row who had their sentences commuted.

I love this man with all my heart and soul and we'll be married someday if the prison will allow it, which I'm not so sure of. I intend to be there with him for the long haul as I can't imagine my life without him. He's not only my love but my best friend. I'm so glad I've found this forum and a group of people who understand my situation. Lord knows my friends and family think I'm nuts. Maybe I am but I can't help how I feel. I feel that God brought us together and he'll get us through whatever may come.

God bless you all!

:wave:Welcome to all of our new Lifer Sisters!! We are glad you found us and welcome you with open arms and hearts. You will find much love and support here on PTO and in particular the Lifers forum.

Take Care - Chin Up!

Welcome to the Lifers forum and PTO, berry! So glad you've joined us!

Thanks so much for the warm welcome, guys! :) Welcome to the Lifers forum and PTO, berry! So glad you've joined us!

hi I'm new to the site & my fiance' is serving 12-life w/ the possibility of parole. to some that may not sound too bad but in the state of CA that's not a good thing to go on. Right now our faith & hope is in the Lord who will have his way regardless.I hope to start communicating w/ someone who has this in common some days are really hard. Anyway thanks for listening....Sharon4troy/ in CA

Welcome to the Forum, Sharon!

Welcome Berry and Sharon!

My husband has been in for 13 years and has a life with parole sentence. We were denied parole again in March for the 6 time. I have stuck by him and he has stuck my me and we will continue to do so. We have three children growing up in front of us. 13, 14 and 15. I am glad I found you guys

My husband has been in for 13 years and has a life with parole sentence. We were denied parole again in March for the 6 time. I have stuck by him and he has stuck my me and we will continue to do so. We have three children growing up in front of us. 13, 14 and 15. I am glad I found you guys

Welcome to the forum!! We are glad you found us too - you will find much love and support here!

I am not sure if I have posted here or not. My little brother ( 26 years old) is serving life w/o parole in Anamosa Iowa. I have moved to Minnesota a few years back. I have been bouncing from forum to forum reading almost every post available...

Thank you all for sharing information and experiences. Since my brothers crime involved "family"- the "family" has abandonded him except me. And of coarse he has to be one of those " I don't need anything, don't worry about me, etc" kind of people.

Now back to reading and learning more and more about how to help my brother try and cope ( even if he won't admit it. lol, wonder if I might be as stubborn as him)

Welcome Texasgirl and Silvrwolve!

Hi everyone. I'd joined the Loving My Lifer club yesterday after speaking with a friend that's a member here. I have been with my husband for about 4 1/2 years and we will be married 3 years next month. It's not an easy lifestyle that I deal with but I love him to death and will do what's necessary to be with him because he's worth it. Finding PTO and the support here makes it alot easier to deal with. People who are not in a situation like this don't really understand it and tend to question your sanity and your husband or mate's motives. It's nice to have someplace to come to where people understand.:D

Welcome Wife C! And Silvrwolve!

You're in the right place for people who understand. Feel free to jump into the Koffee Klutch thread or to start threads of your own. The Lifer's forum is one of the best on PTO -- my humble opinion ;).

Thanks for the warm welcome!!!!

Just found PTO yesterday...my name is Rae, I live in Alabama - my partner is in Nevada, serving two LWOP's...this is his 20th year. We were together before, and are back together now after a long separation. and definitely planning to stay this way.

Welcome Wife C and Desert! Glad you found us! You will find some wonderful people here and although I may be baised - I think the best of the best are right here in the Lifer forum. Welcome to our newest Lifer Sisters.

hello am a 25 year old female i meet my man in 2003 and meet this wonderful site just this year it had truly been a blessing meeting both and having God bring so much wonderful things in my life, I was just ask to marry him and i told me yea am so happy i never thought i would ever be this happy but i am and am so thankful, i pray every min of everyday that God will help us and show us what we need to do to get him out of there, he is serving two life sentence. because of a **** up legal system am sorry it just pisses me off how they sentence people especial when you are poor. so please just pray for us and email me if you ever need to talk i know i be need to sometime. Iam thinking about going to college to study law so pray about that for me too we need change and God going to lead us to them we just need to remind strong and patience.

Betrayed 4 life told me about this forum in chat one night so i decided to pop in and check it out. My husband is doing 15 to life and if were lucky he might make parole in 2012 if not then it looks like we wait until 2017. Either way we have told each other that we are in this for the long haul. Its hard a lot harder than I had first thought but I'm hanging on 1 day at a time.
All I can say is thank you for being here this site has been great for me and I'm sure it has been the same for others as well

Betrayed 4 life told me about this forum in chat one night so i decided to pop in and check it out. My husband is doing 15 to life and if were lucky he might make parole in 2012 if not then it looks like we wait until 2017. Either way we have told each other that we are in this for the long haul. Its hard a lot harder than I had first thought but I'm hanging on 1 day at a time.
All I can say is thank you for being here this site has been great for me and I'm sure it has been the same for others as wellWelcome Sydney!:D Hope to see you in the lifer forum in the days to come!

Donna:

I grew up in the revere, Mass. and I am now in South Carolina. Please contact me if you need an arm to cry on. Same to everyone else!

http://www.snugglepie.com/ezb/205165.png (http://www.snugglepie.com/)

Hi Dawn Its Good To Know There Is Non Judgemental People Still Out There Because There Are Far And Few Of Us That Love Lifers .. I Reside In Florida Thank God My Husband Isnt That Far From Me I Guess I Am Lucky There. But With Him Being In The Feds Its Up To Whom Ever Whenever They Feel Like Transferring Him, He Has A Double Life Sentence (no Not For Murder) But I Pray One Day That He May Be Home, But Still Live With Reality That He May Not. Good Luck To The Both Of You I Wish You Well And The Most Of Happiness.

Hello PTO, I just signed on to this site last week and notice this section today. My fiance and I have been together for a year and a half. I love him with all my heart. He is serving 2 LSWOP and it is good to find people who are going through the same struggles as me.

Welcome mrskaram! I stumbled across this site by accident as well month ago and I'm glad I found it! My lifer is in NM and he's helped make me feel like a teenager again! (I'm 37, going on 16...LOL). You'll find a lot of support here and make some new friends as well!

Hi mrskarem!! I am so happy you found us!! You are so right...we all go thru the same struggles, but let me tell you that it is so much easier to handel when you have a whole group of loving, caring people such as the ones here in the lifers forum to share your miserys and your happiness with.

hugs!
penwife
Lifer forum leader

I am a single parent with one adult child, I have to say that I am penpals to 4 great guys. 2 begining lifers and 1 getting out in 06 and one has another 9 or 10 yrs to go. I have to say that my one lifer who is very special to me is most caring man he is also a violent offender but I can't see it well he does have his ups and downs right. But I can tell him just about anything and he always gives me his opinion. I have to say that we had a falling out cause I went to visit another penpal while he was in the hole and you know what he said he didn't want to talk to me or anything and it felt like he had stab me in the heart. So I called his mother and I wrote to him and told him that I was only telling him the truth. Well after a cooling off period he wrote me out of the blue and said that he missed me and that I was his best friend. He is very, very jealous and I just have to be more aware of some of the pen pals that I have or discuss with him. I think at first he accepted it and then as we got closer he got really, really upset about others.

I have to tell you that I would not trade the attention or gifts that I get from him for anything. Why couldn't I have found a guy like that on the outside?

Sorry for rambling

Tia

Welcome To the lifers forum, Tia!!!


pw

hello, Its very nice to have found this lifers support.My lifer is my husband of almost 9 years he has been locked up 4 years this oct.we have been together for 11 years.He has a life w/parole & life w/o parole.He is my heart and soul we are doing life together for now and for always.

love4mike! I am so happy you found us!


penwife

Hi! I am new to this so I will make this short. My boyfriend is currently doing life w/o at Holman in Alabama. This will be a tough road to hoe I am sure but I am so glad that you guys are here for support. I have been with David for a little over a year now. We just got on the list to get married. However the wait at Holman is 2 years but we have learned not to try to rush things! :) I love him dearly and hope he one day comes home but he has already made all my dreams come true!

Thanks for reading!

aimeec!!

I am so happy you found us!! You're right to just ride out the waiting list, DOC works extremely slow and to get uptight over it will get you nowhere!!

penwife

Hi Aimeec! I have a penpal in Holman, AL, who is also doing life (without, I think).
Best wishes to you and your fiance!

Welcome Tina and Aimeec!:)

aimeec!!

I am so happy you found us!! You're right to just ride out the waiting list, DOC works extremely slow and to get uptight over it will get you nowhere!!

penwife

Thanks penwife! You are so true! If I get uptight then it is a big waste of my time because I am sure they don't care. If I love him enough to marry him today I am sure I will love him enough to do it in two years.

Hi Aimeec! I have a penpal in Holman, AL, who is also doing life (without, I think).
Best wishes to you and your fiance!

Abelle,
That is cool that you have pp there. David is in segregation though and has been for the last two years. I hope they soon get ready to move him to population. Thanks for the well wishes.

I'm so greatful that I have found this site. A little info about me. A few yrs. back I found love with a guy serving 25 to life it was a whirl wind romance. In a short period of time we were married and sadly to say we also got a divorce. Over this past summer we started writing to each other again. Within the last few weeks I started visiting him. The road ahead is uncertain... from what I have read here in this forum the last few days has given me inspiration.

Welcome lost,aimecc, and tina!
you have found the right place..

Donna

Welcome lostinlove!!! You've found a good home away from home here. You have an amazing story... I hope your relationship keeps moving forward on a good path.

hello to all my pto sisters
my name is camille and i've been with my husband for nine long years...hes been in for 19yrs and just recieved a year set-off!!!! Both of us was devastated but i refuse to dwell on this and i won't let him dwell on it either...we will get through this no matter what....they can try and knock us down...but we will never stay down....they can't keep him forever!

Welcome cmhurd!
And keep up your positive attitude!

Donna

Camille,
I am so sorry girl. I admire your determination. Hopefully this next year will go by very quickly. My guy and I are currently waiting on an answer from the governor about parole ourselves. Maybe soon one of us will have good news to post here.

cmhurd!! Welcome to the lifers forum!!!


penwife

cmhurd welcome to the lifers forum

Hello my name is Michele and I reside in Missouri. My husband has been locked since we were 19 and now we are 30. He has a life sentence but we are trying to appeal it now. I'm happy that I started looking into other forums because I felt as though I was the only woman going through this. The faith I have in God is going to see us through.

Welcome Michele!! :wave: Glad you found us, this is a great place... be sure to check out the "lifers lounge" and chats, too!

You sure aren't the only one going thru it!

You've really been there for the long haul -- you'll find others here doing the same kind of time together too. At least one with more than 20 years. :)

Q

ps. Best of luck with the appeal.

Hello how are all of you lovely ladies. I have been a part of this site and forum for a while, but never formally introduced myself here. So here goes nothing. My name is christine. My husband is serving a sentence of 9-life for second degree murder. He has already served 16 years and has been incarcerated since he was 14 years old. He is innocent of the crime he suposedly committed and has 2 appeals on his case. One is on the case completely and the other is on his parold denile. If anyone can help please go to this web address and read the petition I have for him and if you agree sign it. Thank you so much. I am tring to get some more signactures before I have to send it in which will be soon. Take care and god bless.
http://www.thepetitionsite.com/takeaction/927895644?ltl=1132104338

:)hi my babys doing LWOP... its really hard sometimes i found pto by accident looking up info on iowa state pen...im hopeing to meet lots of people...i figured it would be nice to talk to someone in my shoes...most people cant understand how u can love someone thats doing life all i no is that ido:new:

Moon Star!!!! Welcome to PTO and to the lifers forum!!!!! You will find lots of support and understanding here!!!!


penwife

Greetings. I found this site a couple of months ago and am so glad to find this thread. I live in Kansas and my b/f is locked up in Kansas. He's serving 2 life sentences consecutively for murder. He's been in for 22 years on the first conviction and comes up for parole in '09. I met him through my parents! LOL They have visited him for 15 years through a prison ministry program. I just met him a year ago. I proofed something he sent my parents and gave him my address. He wrote back and the rest is history. I met him face to face in July and was blown away. The feelings I had were unbelieveable. The best part about it is that he feels the same. But I have so many questions - why in the world did I have to meet the man of my dreams only to have the chance of us being together likely be impossible? What's the purpose in all this? I'm sure you all know all the questions. :-) Anyway, I have faith and believe that God has a plan in all this and I just have to be patient and enjoy the wonder of the relationship as it is. It's good to be here. :-)

Im interested in becoming a penpal to a lifer althoughso I was reading through the lifer forums and such and and since i dont know first hand of a lifer ima lil ignorant on the terms some have used. what is SHU? and one post said omething like they got set back a year? what do those terms mean? Also my hat goes off to all of you for having such huge hearts and opening them up to love. Everyone needs love even the good bad and the ugly. I am addicted to this site and love all the support and love i find on here and the way it has changed my views and outlook on life. Thank you all for being such love and compassionate people!

Mmkhoping, welcome to the lifers forum... who can say why we meet the ones who change our lives? You're right, you just have to have faith... anyway, you have found the right place for understanding here!

hrtbrokenmom -- I think it's great you want to bring some goodness into a lifer's days... to answer your questions, SHU is Security Housing Unit. It's like being in "the hole" full time, usually locked in their cells 23 hours a day or more, visits only behind glass, very little human contact. In my state, inmatges can be sentenced to the SHU for additional crimes (fights, etc.) committed after they are locked up, or for being alleged members of a prison gang.

"Set back" means a parole board denied parole, in that case for another year. So the prisoner goes back next year and tries again.

And I agree with you about everyone needs love AND how great this site is!! :):)

Welcome mkhoping and heartbrokenmom!

I am addicted too.. and have been for awhile this site is the best for support glad you found us.............right now i wish i wasn't in love w/ a lifer.. however he is my husband . and i made my choice.......as hard and painful as this life can be i would not and could not see my self w/ out him.. sooo welcome again .. keep posting

HAPPY HOLIDAYS.. TO YOU ALL

Donna

Welcome to PTO and to the lifers forum!! we are so happy to have you here!!!!


penwife

Hi my name is Maria, my brother is doing life for murder ,it has been four years now. How i miss him,i still cry everyday,like i did when i got that call.I feel so empty with out him.I am the only one in my family, that has stood by him.We are a very big family, some times i feel like they for got about him.Like he is dead.I want him home,if i didnt have my children i dont know how i could make it day by day.My brother and i have always been real close.We would always have lunch together, sometimes dinner.How i want that back.We are in the progress of an appeal, just waiting to see if they will appeal, his case.I hope and pray they will.I belive GOD will bring him home soon.!!!!! I live in Plainview,Texas, he is in the Michael Unit. GOD bless you all,may he bless our love ones,especially keep them safe always.may we all be together real soon.FAMILIA SIMPRE!!!!!!!

June!!!!

Welcome to PTO and to the lifers forum!!!!! I am so happy you found us! I wish you the best of luck with yours brothers appeal!!!

penwife
Lifer forum Moderator

Welcome Maria/June!
Here you will find support, information, togetherness!
Best wishes to your brother and I hope he can get an appeal.
Abelle

i should have introduced my self last year in november when my papas got sentenced to 69 years to life but its never to late glad to be loving a lifer

Welcome forgoten1! Glad you introduced yourself, you're right it's never too late... feel free to jump right in and post. :wave:

hey there i am new to this lifer time. we will be starting next month. i look forward to feeling the unconditional love and support here.

You got it, joeyzhrtz... You've come to the right place... welcome!

Welcome to the lifer forum "forgotton1" and "joeyzhrtz" I am glad you found us!!!


penwife

Hello, my girlfriend is serving LWOP at CCWF. I live in Southern Oregon. I have known her for approx. a year and a half now. I love her wit all my heart. She has 3 children (now grown). It is a very hard way to develop a relationship however, through 5 visits (actually 10 if you count both saturdays & sundays) and writiing a ton of letter, I feel like this is the best relationship I have ever had. I pray someday she will win an appeal but realize the best thing I can do is just be there for her and accept one day at a time. I wish there were conjical visits but there are not allowed for Lifers. It is our relationship that is most important. It is hard to express just how special it is.

Dylan!!!!! It's always good to meet a fellow lifer supporter from the NW! I am from Walla Walla, Wa myself! I've been with my lifer for most of my life but it's been years since we married in a prison ceremony!
I hope you come back to visit us here in the lifer forum often!


hugs,
pw

[/QUOTE] I've been with my lifer for most of my life but it's been years since we married in a prison ceremony!
I hope you come back to visit us here in the lifer forum often!


hugs,
pw[/QUOTE]

Thank you PW, I will.

I see that you have many years experience dealing with loving a Lifer. I admire your strong commitment. I hope to marry my lifer some day. we want to wait until I can move closer so I can visit on a more frequent basis. My work (I own my own Graphic Design business) is here in Southern Oregon and basically I will have to start over. By doing so my income will be greatly affected and I will not be able to send as much money to her right away. It is a catch 22 situation.

Welcome .. Welcome..
to the lifers forum i am sure you find.. support, info and a place to vent .. laugh cry scream and even SING:)

Donna

Dylan!

I understand the catch 22 situation, but in my mind love should always win over on business! LOL, that's why I am broke and near bankruptcy!
BUT I am a "happy woman" anyway because I am with the man I loved my whole life.

hugs,
pw

Hi,

I've been a member of PTO for some time now but I had never posted here before, this will be my fist time so here I go...I met my lifer a little over a year ago and the time that I have spent with him has been great, I mean really great! His sentence is 15 to life, he's been down for 17 years now and he just had his second parole hearing this past Wednesday. I can't say anything about that because I haven't heard from him yet. :( He only gets one a call a month right now so it's hard, but hopefully I will hear from him or from his mom soon. The anticipation is driving me nuts! Anyway, I will be on this forum a lot more and I look forward to getting to know all of you real soon! :)

Rebeca

my husband is just starting a life sentence and we would like to know what lifers thoughts were when they first got sentenced. he has been very stressed,moody,not quite sure what to think,just a messed up head. he is very hard to understand lately. he has never been this bad in the three times he did before. i was just wondering if anyone could help and let us know some of the thoughts.

Hi Joeyz and welcome!

Life is just about as hard as it gets... I am sure it is really hard for them at first. I've heard a few lifer friends say if only they knew they had an out-date, no matter how far away, it would be easier.

My guy has been locked up so much and being an ex-gang member, he always thought he'd end up dead or doing life. So in a way, it may have been easier for him than most.

But I wonder when it will REALLY hit him, y'know?

None of this is easy, but we are here for you for the long haul.... (((hugs)))

Welcome luckyme and joeyzhrtz to the lifer forum!! We are happy to have you here!!!!
Joeyz...You can expect your guy to go thru diffeent emotions. My husband after 22 years still gets depressed and angry at himself for what he did.


penwife

Hello to All,
I've been doing alot of reading in all the different forums, but this one is of my interest. Finding people I can relate too helps alot,alot of peolple don't understand how hard it is to go through this. Thank you in advance for all the support. My man too is serving a life sentence with the possibility of parole.I can only hope and pray for him to someday come home. Best of luck to all.

Carmen

Welcome Carmen to the LIFER FAMILY... i am sure you will find all your support/info here ... we are a good bunch .... and have fun in our lounge come join us..

Donna

Carmen!! Consider this your PTO home. We are very happy to have you join us!!


penwife

Thank you for the welcoming!!! I really do appreciate it.

Thank you all for the welcome. Sorry I havent been here for a bit. I am still trying to figure all this out. I am not the smartest computer user so I have a hard time finding things. Anyways I am depressed these past two days. I think it is finally sinking in that he is not coming home for a long time if ever. But I love him so much that I am never giving up on our marriage or him. But these two days I cant even enjoy our grandkids and they have always been able to make me happy. I just wish I could see him and touch his hands and kiss him(even if it is only twice) I havent beeen able to do that for almost a year. Please approval hurry up! well thanks for being here.

Please know that PTO is here for you through the good times and the bad. I pop into the Lifer's forum every once in awhile. You will find the utmost in support here. These ladies are the absolute best and are always here for you. Please if you ever need to vent or what ever....stop by! The ladies here have been through what you are going through and can be the best support possible!!

Patti

Thank you all for the welcome. Sorry I havent been here for a bit. I am still trying to figure all this out. I am not the smartest computer user so I have a hard time finding things. Anyways I am depressed these past two days. I think it is finally sinking in that he is not coming home for a long time if ever. But I love him so much that I am never giving up on our marriage or him. But these two days I cant even enjoy our grandkids and they have always been able to make me happy. I just wish I could see him and touch his hands and kiss him(even if it is only twice) I havent beeen able to do that for almost a year. Please approval hurry up! well thanks for being here.

Hi everyone. I just want to introduce myself. I have been a member of PTO for a few months, but I just recently started using it a lot. I am in love with a prisoner 8 years into a 20 to life sentence. I have found this website so helpful. From everything to emotional support and advice to information on all the prisons he gets transfered to. Everyone has been so nice, I appreciate it. You will be seeing me around often!

Welcome Jleigh..to the pto .. lifer family..

D

I want to add my welcome as well to the lifers forum. These people are the greatest and I mean the GREATEST. They have helped me so much since joining here, they've listened to me whine, cry, holler for joy, and so much more. I love this forum and the people here. I cannot stress enough how supportive they ALWAYS are. You have found a home here and we look forward to getting to know you and extend to you the same support we have all found during this difficult walk.

Hi, I'm new on this group. And very unskilled on this computer. I haven't done a introduction because I don't know how!! Anyway, I'm Bonnie, engaged to Donnie who is a lifer in Calif. We have been together for ten years or so. First as friends and then of course now much more. We've been engaged 3 years. He went down at 14 and has been down 25 years now. We haven't given up hope.
Its been really hard because I live so far away from him right now. Everytime we have attempted a wedding something has happened. Lock downs. And then I almost lost my life in a car accident last Sept. Its been a rough road. But not one I would not go down again for him. So many don't understand. I'm not young and he is younger! That part is great, and not a problem for us. I met him through my former fiance who died in prison, they were cellies. I have not been on any prison support groups for many years. This one caught my eye. Anyway here I am if anyone wants to talk or get my intro on this group. Or tell me how! Sorry about this. Take care and Thankyou

that was a very good start.... donniesbonnie!
THATS it.
Welcome to pto..

Donna

Welcome jleigh and bonnie!!!

Feel free to jump in anywhere you like, we're here for you :).

Woohoo!!!!! New Lifer Family Members!! I am glad you found us!


hugs,
pw

Hello, I have been on PTO for a while and am finding myself around. My soul mate is a lifer in a PA prison. Thanks to all the support that I have found here on PTO.

Penwife.....SOUL PATROL,

Penwife.....SOUL PATROL,


Hi sr10! I am happy you have decided to join our family!!!!!! It was great talking to you in chat today!
I can't wait to get to know you better!!!!


Ann

Hey ladies I am also serving time with my man he has 25L (WP) I am praying also that he will come home I will never give up that. I have faith and at this point that is all I have. My man is suppose to be going to the board this year and I am hoping we get some news on if he will come home if not then when. He has done 16YRS already. I met him while his was down and I choose to do the time with him. We married 10 months ago and I am so in love I only wish we could have our family that I feel is the hardest. They need to allow the lifers to have them if no one else they need that sence of family or they will give up. I will stand by my man until the end. I will be there waiting when God breaks down those mountains that are keeping us apart. It is nice to have some were to come were we are not judge or looked at differently. I come in here just to know I am not alone. I have been to Karios and if any of you can get to one go it is a awesome road and it is for those who have loved ones in Prison. It is something I will never forget and they really make you feel like you are not alone. You all keep your heads high and dont let the haters break you down. Stay strong for our men. God bless to you all.

Hello and welcome tot he lifer forum!! I am sure that you will find alot of support and understanding here!!!


hugs!
Ann

Hi. My name is Michele and my soul mate is serving a life sentence + 12 yrs in Florida. I live in Ohio.

I met him when I was 17, and it was love at first sight. We dated awhile and were planning to get married. I was 2 months pregnant with his daughter. He decided to take a trip to Florida before the wedding, just one last time hanging out with the guys before he settled into family life. He came back a wanted man (for something he didnt do), but i still wanted to marry him. We were on our way to get married when he was arrested.

I went on with my life eventually- had our daughter, got married, tried to forget him... but i couldn't. when i divorced my husband 13 years later, i immediately went to florida to see him. i fell in love all over again. i stayed in homeless shelters and with friends, hitchhiked, and got hypothermia (yes in florida!) all to see him. i don't know that i was cut out to be a prison girlfriend though, because i still needed someone who could be there for me ALL the time... someone who could hold me when I needed it. So i left florida for ohio and got married again.

That was two years ago. I have, once again, tried to convince myself that i didnt love him, but a couple of weeks ago i took my daughter to see her father for the first time since we've been up here.... it took about two minutes for me to realise that i will ALWAYS love him! Now i am considering leaving my husband to go back to florida... i don't think i can live without my soul mate any longer.... I came to these forums for support, and i am so glad i did... it is amazing to know that there are others out there who are facing the same problems i am. i just hope that someday i can be as strong as some of you.

Hello. My name is Jennifer. I am 24 years old and I live in So Cal. My boyfriend is serving 29 to life (CSP). His case fell under the felony murder rule back in 1995, he was only 15 when he was given this sentence. He is now 26 and going on his 12th year of incarceration, even though he didn't commit the crime, he was only present. I am so thankful to have found PTO because it's difficult to find people for support. My whole life revolves around my baby and I wouldn't have it any other way. Most people just don't understand and think I am throwing my life away. I have found the love of my life and mu soul mate and I have never been this happy in my life. I look forward to chatting with others that are in the same situation!!! Thank you for giving me the opportunity:)

Hi Michele!! It took me a good while to figure out that my hubby was my soul mate too. A couple years apart and an old relationship rekindeled show me that there wasn't anyone else on earth for me except for my guy! We've been back together for 21 years now and i have never looked back

Hi Jennifer!!! I totally understand your commitment to your guy...sometimes our love for them outweighs everythig else and we just have to go with it!
No one will ever judge you for that in this forum. we are all in the same boat and we support each other.


hugs to both of you!!!
Ann

SR 10 , Michelle, and fellas girl

Welcome to PTO.. sorry you have to join us...~~~` but glad you FOUND US.. i am sure you will find the support needed ...

Donna

I have been looking at this website for a while trying to figure out what it really is all about. I am glad I came upon it. My husband and I married in 1996 and divorced 2004 , and now have overcome the chaos that satan put before us . We are back in action and fighting . He is the light in my heart. Unfortuanaley we have had to grow up in prison. We were together as teens and now i am 28 and he is 30 so we have not had a very easy young life. But God is so up in my business and He has a plan whether it be for Thomas to do all his time or some. Regardless we are at the Mercy of Christ and we love it. He has a plan for all of us. Don't you think.
But thanks ladies, it is so awesome to read the threads with such kind words, and uplifting spirits. That helps alot. You ladies are the best. Thanks.

I have been looking at this website for a while trying to figure out what it really is all about. I am glad I came upon it. My husband and I married in 1996 and divorced 2004 , and now have overcome the chaos that satan put before us . We are back in action and fighting . He is the light in my heart. Unfortuanaley we have had to grow up in prison. We were together as teens and now i am 28 and he is 30 so we have not had a very easy young life. But God is so up in my business and He has a plan whether it be for Thomas to do all his time or some. Regardless we are at the Mercy of Christ and we love it. He has a plan for all of us. Don't you think.
But thanks ladies, it is so awesome to read the threads with such kind words, and uplifting spirits. That helps alot. You ladies are the best. Thanks.

Welcome to PTO and to the Lifer's forum!!! I am glad you decided to join us! I do believe that God has a plan for us all. I believe that he will carry us thru this life if we ask him. I believe that is one of the reasons why I have been able to hang on so long!!

Hugs,
Ann

Finally, just want to say welcome! Your story is inspiring -- "back in action and fighting." I love it!

Thanks for joining us :).

:D Hello everyone, I reside in Oklahoma (i know shhhhh) and my husband is in Corcoran doing 25 - life, we are still both in our twenties still and have a long ways to go . He has done 12 1/2 years and it has been rough on both of us. We had such big plans back then. But what don't kill us only makes us stronger right? He is so positive. I love it. I think he has helped me through this more than anything. God is awesome and it shows in our marriage. Thanks everyone for being here on PTO this is a good thing and I hope that it prospers and helps millions, and there are millions of us , just like you and I . So God Bless to all.

Hello - everyone - I am Kay aka Quintons_Lady I am 31 years old with 1 child living in the Tampa bay area and My baby was sentenced to life back in 2001 - He is 27 years old.. He was in Union but then was transferred to Santa Rosa.. But in the past month he has been granted an evidentary hearing and his lawyer is getting him a deal so that he can be home soon.. His trial was jacked up and his sentence was to harsh for a person that had never been in trouble and since the judge was taken off the criminal bench due to sentencing people wrongly.. So we are keeping our fingers crossed we go back to court Aug 7th.. The good thing is the lawyer got him transferred back home until the hearing so he is at the county jail and I get to see him 3 or 4 times a week :) so that is great. I am new to this site and I am thankfull that I have found this place I dont feel so alone now.. I know there are people I can talk to and they understand me and what I am going threw.. I will keep you all in my thoughts & prayers so that one day all of our loved ones will be home with us.... Thank you and please feel free to hit me up at anytime to talk :) Thank you for reading much love to you all

Kay,
Welcome to PTO!!! I do hope that everything works out well for your man!!!

Patti

Kay! Welcome to PTO and to the lifers forum!!


Ann

Thank you so much -

Hello and Welcome to the PTO Family... we are all here for support , it's a place to vent, cry to share and laugh ... in this life..

Donna

Hello
I have a "friend" that is serving a (2) 25 - life sentence. He's been in CSP for 8 years. We met when we were 16 and now we're both 30. He was a friend of my unckle and then we became friends since he was always around our family. I always had a "thing" for him, but I never let him know. We lost touch about 9 years ago and I recently found out he was in prison. I did my research and found out his info. We started writing to eachother about 1 year ago. I currently am in a 9 year relationship. My boyfried found out about me going up and visiting him, when a letter came and he opened it. He flipped out, I don't blame him because he knew that I had feeling for him before. To make a long story short, he doesn't want me having any communication with my friend, and I shouldn't consider him a friend since I haven't had any type of communication with him for the past 9 years, but I care too much about my friend to let go. So, I'm in a major dilemma. What makes me even sad is that he is a conservative guy and I know he doesn't really have anyone writing or visiting him except his mom, sister and I. I just had to vent...sorry.

Thank you for starting this tread. My girlfriend is serving a life sentence in CCWF, she does not have the possibility of parole but of course she is appealing. She has served 6 years so far. I have been here for her for a year and a half. We go though our ups and downs, just like any couple. It is hard to say the least but the love we share makes it all worth while in the end.

ECARRI!! Hello and welcome to PTO! Never apologize for venting!! That is why we are here! We want to take the stress of supporting your lifer off of your shoulders and help you deal with it!! The only thing we for for in return is that you listen to us vent too!!!!

Dylan58!! Welcome!!! I am so glad you found us! Loving a lifer is hard. Harder than a typical relationship with an inmate. We have an extra load of issues to deal with than the typical inmate supporter.
That is why we have our own forum. we strive to seek out what those additional issues are, find a way to cope with them. Listen to how others deal, and offer oue own insights to what works.
Sometimes it is great to just sit and talk about "whatever" with other lifer folks....we do that too in the lifer lounge.


hugs,
penwife

The man I now love was arrested when I was 15. He was 20. So he's served 6 years, life without parole. I had known him since I was 9. I think I had been in love with him since then. After he was arrested, I started writing him letters, because my parents wouldn't let me go and see him. I wrote him for 2 and a half years without seeing him. We finally admitted our feelings to each other back in January. They've just sort of blossomed over the past 6 years. Ever since we admitted how we feel, we just can't get enough of each other. I write him every day, and send the letters at least twice a week. He does about the same. I haven't seen him since the end of April, because I'm in London for the summer, but I'm impatiently drumming my fingers to get back. I get to see him on August 12th, my 21st birthday! Really, he is my stength. I get depressed much more than he does. Sure, he has his days. I guess we hold each other up, help each other through the hard times. I love him so much. What really makes me sad is that my parents don't understand at all. I had to lie to start seeing him when I was 17, and even now, they try their best to discourage me from going. I hope someday they can understand and be supportve of my decision. But I'm not counting on it.

The man I now love was arrested when I was 15. He was 20. So he's served 6 years, life without parole. I had known him since I was 9. I think I had been in love with him since then. After he was arrested, I started writing him letters, because my parents wouldn't let me go and see him. I wrote him for 2 and a half years without seeing him. We finally admitted our feelings to each other back in January. They've just sort of blossomed over the past 6 years. Ever since we admitted how we feel, we just can't get enough of each other. I write him every day, and send the letters at least twice a week. He does about the same. I haven't seen him since the end of April, because I'm in London for the summer, but I'm impatiently drumming my fingers to get back. I get to see him on August 12th, my 21st birthday! Really, he is my stength. I get depressed much more than he does. Sure, he has his days. I guess we hold each other up, help each other through the hard times. I love him so much. What really makes me sad is that my parents don't understand at all. I had to lie to start seeing him when I was 17, and even now, they try their best to discourage me from going. I hope someday they can understand and be supportve of my decision. But I'm not counting on it.

Girl... my eyes got all watery when I read your post cause I am in the same boat... most of my family isn't supportive of my relationship and like you said..they just don't understand.. they may never understand but at least you know there are others out here that are going thru the same thing, so NO WORRIES cause we can all get thru it together!!! That is so cool that you get to see him on your b-day!!! The month will fly by!!!

so NO WORRIES cause we can all get thru it together!!!

We can and we will!

hugs!
Ann

WELCOME
to the best support site..!!!!!!!!!!


Donna

Well I'll introduce myself properly in here as well. I'm writing to two women in California who are serving life and 7 years to life. They haven't written me back so far (I started writing to one in May last year and the other in April this year) but that doesn't stop me from worrying and caring about them.

They have parole hearings regularly (one has a hearing coming up next month, the other next year) but they always get turned down despite the fact they're both completely rehabilitated and meet the criteria for parole. It's the severity of the crime that keeps them both from being released. Of course the fact they've been in prison for 37 years already doesn't make up for that, just imagine :rolleyes:

So basically I'm just looking for a place to vent my frustration over the unfairness of it all. Please bear with me :D

Hi Yap, I know you've already been active here, but I'll make it an official hello!! I hope you hear from your lifers someday... you must have a huge heart! :)

I have a pen pal that has life. We have been writting for 17 months. I think hes a wonderful person. No one knows where this will go but we will see.

Hello yap and fortenberry! welcome to the lifer family

we are here for you

support/info/venting and laughing and sharing..

WELCOME AGAIN

Donna

Hi Yap, I know you've already been active here, but I'll make it an official hello!! I hope you hear from your lifers someday... you must have a huge heart! :)

Thanks :) Yeah I hope so too although I stopped counting on it a while ago already. But thankfully I have another pal who does write back and I recently took up a fourth pal who's thrilled about the prospect to correspond with someone in Europe.

It's been a very rewarding experience so far and I'm glad to be able to touch lives this way. Even though the lifers are silent I like to think they do like to read my letters. And otherwise I'm giving the mail room folks a good laugh regularly with my silly story called Puffy the Vampire Clown Slayer. That's also great :D

Hi S Fortenberry!!! Glad you join our forum!!!!

Hello YapYap!! Welcome to our forum!!!


Ann

welcome sweetie you will find alot of love & support here !!!

:D Hi all.. I'm not sure if I introduced myself before sooo here we go:D My sweetie and I met when we where in our teens, we
became really good friends..we hung out and did
everything together(even though we both had our
bfriends and gfriends)..long story short.. he wound up
getting sent away, we lost contact.. he and his Mom
started looking for me about 3yrs ago..He said he
never stopped thinking about me..well, oneday I got a
letter didn't open it..lol.. a couple of weeks after I
got a phone call, and it was him!! As soon as I heard his voice, I knew it was him!!:) That was back in roughly Sept. Oct. '05...so I would say 9mnths.. he's been in 25yrs...and the Lord Only knows when and if
he's coming home.. I think we've always had feelings for
one another, but we didn't want to mess up our
friendship..but I will be by his side..and as we both tell each other your not losing me this time..;) I know at times it will be hard..but as they say I'm in it for the long haul..:thumbsup:


dalya38

Hello, my name is Mari. I live in Fontana CA at the time. My husband just started on a Life Sentence, we still have hopes on an appeal. They sent him soooooooooo far away...(PELICAN BAY). We have been married 10 years. We are both 32 yrs old. It is sooo hard to be without him. I miss him so much. I also have my father serving a sentence at (HIGH DESERT). He has so far completed 9 years. It is sad that both the men that I love, destiny has taken away from me..... I feel all you, and best wishes to all..........

My name is Heather, and I live in Pa. My fiance is serving a sentence of 2 life terms plus 52 years with the possibility of parole in Virginia. He has served 16 years so far and goes up for parole for the first time May 2008. It is so hard sometimes, but I am in this for life. :o

Just wanted to say welcome to dalya, delacruz, and hysres, you've found the most awesome forum on PTO. We are all in the same boat here, you will find a wealth of wisdom and support from these wonderful folks here.

Welcome to PTO! As a rather new member, I can say with authority, these lifer girls are amazing! I have to warn you though, this site is addictive.

Hi! My 27 year old son just began serving a life sentence a couple of months ago. At the beginning when he was arrested, I never imagined that he would really serve any time. Then, he was convicted and I had such hope that his time would be reduced, etc. It's just now starting to sink in that this is life and there is a possibility that I may not be here when he is released. He does still have appeals but I'm afraid to hope for much now. He has said that he is innocent from the beginning and we do believe him. There is so much that shows that he was set up by people close to him, people he cared about. I do know that God is in control and He has a plan for all of us. I'm so thankful to have found PTO!

Hello everyone. I'm 36 and have met the man of my dreams..he's doing 40 to life. I know that this is going to be a rough road to walk, but knowing that I have Rick to walk beside me, it isn't going to be so bad. We're in the process of trying to find someone to take his case, there was evidence that had been supressed during his trial, and his co-defendant filed an affidavit that Rick was not the on that killed the victim. The Ohio Public Defender's office won't take it on, so we're going to find another way. This isn't going to be easy, and I just came to find the PTO. Believe me, i'm going to need all the support I can get. My family are not very supportive, and the few friends that I have trusted with this, are behing me 100%. I may need some extra support and help, I hope you all will be there for me if needed!!

Thanks everyone. :wave:

A big welcome to all the new members on the lifer's forum! It's getting pretty crowded here :)

YES IT IS..
wow .. welcome to the best forum the lifer family

I am sure you will find a lot of support and information here, we are all here for you!!

Donna

Welcome all lifer lovers to the forum! The more people here the more support there is,
Abelle :)
Lifer Forum Research Assistant

Hi everyone :D ,

I´m a 24 year old student from Germany. I began dealing with the U.S. criminal justice system in January. Just because I was ill and therefore had too much time at hand. I was quite shocked about "certain things". So I decided to start writing some people who are incarcerated in the U.S. The result was that I did fall in love with one of them. Although I did never meet him in person yet. Most people around me think I´m just crazy and are not very supportive. Few understand how difficult this is for me. It was never planed, it just happend and it´s hard at times, since I really feel for him like I did never feel for anyone before... I hope I will be able to fly to the USA next year to see him...
He got locked up at age 15 and received a life sentence for Felony Murder... Life sentences for juveniles, I still can´t believe it... He was 15 then, he is 27 now... There is still hope to get his sentence overturned and have a retrial through his appeals. It really is/was injust, but who cares in Texas? Well, he´ll be eligible for parole after 40 years, if things don´t change... The thought of this can get overwhelming at times. But I guess you ladies here know this feeling...

Greetings from Germany...

Hermione!! Hello and welcome to the Lifer forum,
I am so glad you found us!!You will find alot of caring and understanding here.

hugs,
Ann

Hello, My name is Pat, my loved one is my former husband and the Father of my 2 kids, he is serving a life sentence, I believe it was 25 to life. We recently visited him for the first time in 14 years he is so positive and believes that 2 years from December he will get out, he has never been written up or in any trouble. I am at a major loss after seeing him in prison, we have been dear friends after our divorce and he was a professional man who made a terrible mistake. I love him dearly, he is a close life long friend. My husband, myself and my grandson recently on a cross the US trip stopped and saw him as a surprise in Calif (we are in MIssouri) he almost fell over he was so shocked and excited!! After seeing this man in this setting, I find myself terriibly upset that he has caused his family such pain and made such a horrid decision. He is 60 years old will he ever get out? I know I am rambling but I am so stressed by this, thanks for listening.
Pat

Hello all! Well it looks like most of you are wives, babies mamas and girlfriends and I am a sister. But I am going to vent anyway in hopes that one of you will direct me to a group with family members of lifers (hopefully in California)! LOL My brother was sentenced to two consecutive 50 to life sentences plus one 25 to life on July 10, 2006. Currently he is in High Desert awaiting transfer to max security somewhere in Cali. My mother and I are his main support system and both of us are in the Army and stationed in Germany and my family is from the East Coast. Needless to say he has noone to visit. I found this site while I was actually searching for a pen pal for him. If anyone has any resources please help. My mother and I are are still in shock, hurt, confused and probably a little pissed off too about this entire situation as my brother has never been in any trouble prior to this. I pray daily and am trying to find some positives or way to keep myself encouraged. It's hard because it is all so new. Anyway I really appreciate this site and your support as noone expect those in this situation can relate to the sense of loss and hurt that I feel.

Hello Bills sister and welcome to PTO and the lifer family we love to have sisters.. so come on in........ sorry to hear your pain/but glad yu found us!
There is a lot of information here, and there are a few ladies very familiar with CA laws etc. Be sure to check out the CA state forum also..
I am sure you will find alot of info and support there also..

good luck , and welcome again.. we are all here for you!

Donna
ps. there is also a pen pal site! you might be able to check into adding him to the forum ........

Bills sister, I know your feelings, I felt the same when my loved one got sentenced to life and I was 2000 miles away, it is so like being in a stressed out twilight zone, special good luck
Pat

Hermione!! Hello and welcome to the Lifer forum,
I am so glad you found us!!You will find alot of caring and understanding here.

hugs,
Ann

Thanks Ann... And by the way, I like your signature...


@Bill´s sister
I´m so sorry to hear this... HUGS and greetings from Bavaria to Rheinland Pfalz...

Hi everybody my name is Jen and I am just figuring this website out. I have been with a lifer for the last 4 years, we met on the job. He is doing life plus 155 years, This is such a cool website, its nice to see pthers out there just like me. We both reside in mississippi at this time and we talked for three months of my career until we decided that it was best to continue our relationship outside those walls. He transfered 4 months afte I left nad we started to see eachother every other sunday. But hes in the hole for a minute so were taking a break, by force beleive that. Well I just wanted to say hi to everyone and hopefully you will be seeing alot of me.

Welcome to all the new members of the lifer's forum!! My man isn't a lifer, but I do pop in now and then. My man was sentenced to 28 years and in most places anything over 20 years is life. He has served going on 13 years now.
You will find so much love and support here with PTO. If and when (because we all do) you are having a bad day, pop on in and you will feel the love and comfort that is offered to all!!

Patti

Hello Dawn,
I'm not married to my lifer guy but still have a lot of stress with the issue. He's been in 19 with who knows how many to go (you know how Ohio is). Since he was moved to a medium security facility he can only have 1 friend on his visit list. His son is engaged so that knocks me off the list and I miss those visits :)
Anyway, I just wanted to check in and say hello. I'm glad I bumped into this forum because some days I'm really down about the whole deal. He'll be up for parole in 2009 but I know it will be the smaller Board and they'll just add some more time on because Ohio has not defined "life"...
I've known my guy since we were in elementary school and plan to stand by him until he gets out but I've hung with him the past 9 years and they have been tough. He is well adjusted to where he is, I'm the one with the issues:) Any advice?
Thanks for listening!

4Jeff!! You've come to the right place for support and understandin! I am glad you found us!

Ann

Welcome to pto and the lifers forum 4jeff..... you will find your support and info right here. we are all here for you

Donna

Hi I am Mele : I dont know if any one still comes to talk here but i will be short , I have posted in search of help three times already today. I just found this site after visiting my son and coming hope on a cry crash. He is serving a life sentence for something he did not do . he has a 3 year old duaghter born by his wife after he was incarcerated. my family suffers tremendously. He and his cousin my mothers 1st grandsons , were locked up together for life. we have just been so devistated and nothing is the same and will ever be. just looking for help and hope ......doing life on the outside !

Mele, yes we are here! (And we're glad you found us.)

I am so sorry to hear about your son and his cousin...

You'll find others here in the lifers' forum going through many of the same emotions you are, and while we can never make the pain go away, you may find tremendous comfort here.

Feel free to post, vent and join in and know we are here for you. :)

Hello all, I have recently joined PTO but have been writing my lifer for ten years. he told me ten years ago he would marry me and i thought he was just being silly, little did i know then. ours is a strange story. i became his pen pal at the request of my best friend(his sis in law). Then i married his younger brother but we continued to write. he went through a terrible divorce from his first love and i went through a horrible relationship and divorce from his brother. all through this we have been very close and supportive of each other. He understands me better than i understand myself somedays. We finally decided to stop fighting these ten year old feelings about 6 months ago and although we dont know when yet we plan to be married. My man has a 15 to life sentence for murder and has so far served 20. Never been a dicsipline problem but has gotten caught in the california prison problem that the previous administrations created. He is the most wonderful person in the world and loves me with all of his being. I could not ask for better. My mom is very supportive of my relationship with michael as she has terminal cancer and hopes for his release so i will not be in this world alone. The rest of my family is not at all supportive. they believe i am crazy as he-- He is in california and i am in mississippi. I am 40 and he is 44. He has 2 grown children and i have 4 children at home, 18, 15, 12, and 7. My children love him and write and talk to him often. His son is very supportive however his daughter isnt so happy with the idea. We plan to have a life together once he gets out. If cali ever cuts him loose. We will continue to have faith in god and know that he would not have allowed us to get to this point in our lives and not be together. Not that it would matter..... i am in for the long haul as he has been there for me over the last ten years. I am due to go to cali next month for a visit and he is interested in possibilities of a prison transfer to mississippi as this is where he will parole to anyway. His family is devestated by our news and certainly not supportive at all. Some one in a previous post said PTO was addictive and they were right. It is wonderful not to be judged because my man is in a 6 by 9 cell. He is still a man....and i will love him always.
I may cry some days and rejoice on others but it will be because i am by his side.
thank you for all of the wonderful posts i have read so far. This is a great site for those of us in this kind of situation that need support and understanding. Michael will go before the board for the 6th time in jan 2008 and we can only hope and pray god sees fit to send my man home to me then.
thanks everyone
have a wonderful day!!!!!:)

Welcome to PTO! Good luck in all things. I know what it feels like to not have the support of your family. My family will never understand my love. I can't even talk to them about how hard it can get, because their solution will always be to stop writing him, stop seeing him, stop loving him. They can't understand that that's simply not an option.

Welcome to all of the new lifer family members!!!

Please feel free to join us in our forum anytime!!!


hugs,
Ann

msmom, welcome!! I hope you join us all over this forum.

Wow, ten years, you've held it down for a lonnng time. I hope he gets the transfer if he wants it...

:wave:

Hello everyone!

I've been lurking in this forum for a while, but once I found the hot men in the photo thread I thought I'd like to come in and make myself comfortable. :D

I'm in a MWI relationship with my honey, who is LWOP from the age of 18; he's 35 now. I never expected to be in a relationship like this one, but we make each other happy so I'm grabbing it with both hands and running with it.

Thank you all for making this such a welcoming place.

Hey storm.......
Welcome to the lifer 's forum and family...
please join us in our chat/and lounge to check in .. .glad you found us

we are here for your support /info/ and hugs !

Welcome to PTO storm!! Im glad you found us! Now lead me to the Hot men you were talking about!!!

What is a MWI relationship?


Ann

MWI is Met While Incarcerated!!

Hi all! I have been a member of PTO for quite some time and I am a moderator in the Michigan forums. I have dropped in here a few times but not recently. I am head over heels in love with a lifer. Unfortunately here in Michigan that is a tough position to be in with the Truth In Sentencing law that we have. I'm sure many of you ladies can relate to that. The hardest part is not knowing if he will ever be able to be a free man or if he will ever be able to be with me in the outside world. I tell him all the time that I am in this for the long haul! He is absolutely wonderful and I am very blessed to have him and his love. I hope to be stopping by this forum more often. Take care!!

Thanks for the welcome, Ann. The hot men are in the photo thread -- sort of like a hook to haul us into this forum?! :)

Autumn answered the MWI question. I met my honey awhile back through a penpal ad and we wrote without any agenda on either side. Our opinions and outlook seem to click in a scarily perfect way and feelings just came about naturally. We both admitted to "something" in September, and since then we've been enjoying figuring out what that something might be. No hurry -- we have lots of time. :p

My last relationship, with my daughters' dad, was MWI also -- only that time it was Met While Intoxicated. I like this way better. :D

Welcome everyone!!! I am popping in once again to say hi!!! Hope that November is treating you all well. Raining cats and dogs here tonight, well actually it has been for a couple of days. I just moved and my carport is still filled with stuff. Almost afraid to start going through it, but I have Friday, Saturday and Sunday off. Hopefully get something done then.

LD's !! You are a part of the lifer family no matter how much or little you pop in on us!
I've always felt that those who have open ended sentences have it harder than us who have LWOP. At least we can resign ourselves around the idea of not ever seeing life outside the prison, but for you, your future is so uncertain...I think it would drive me nuts going up for parole only to be shot down...how devestating that would be for me.

Storm!!!

I've had a few of the "met while intoxicated" relationships too! they never lasted long tho!!

Ann, that was a good one LMAO
I TOO HAVE had met while intoxicated ..!! lol love it

hey how's the rain treating you all over there???

Shiva!


The rain was coming down fast and furious, but my neck of the woods didn't experience flooding..it's dried out for now and the leaves are everywhere....more rain expected this week.

Happy Thanksgiving to all. Just wanted to formally introduce myself to the lifers forum. My sweetie is a lifer at Ryan in Michigan. I have not seen him since he went to prison. Before he was sentenced I moved. So after 11 years he has found me through a friend and we are once again together. I am just waiting for my visitation approval to go through. It seems to be taking a long time. I have been waiting for about 3 1/2 weeks. I have left messages for his counselor, but he hasn't called back yet. So right now we are both frustrated because we are 3 miles from one another and can't see each other. Hopefully I get to see him by next week. I have found this forum very helpful. I have never had to deal with the MDOC and I was able to get any questions I could have possibly had answered by these forums. Thanks for the support and have an excellent Thanksgiving all!!

Happy Thanksgiving to all. Just wanted to formally introduce myself to the lifers forum. My sweetie is a lifer at Ryan in Michigan. I have not seen him since he went to prison. Before he was sentenced I moved. So after 11 years he has found me through a friend and we are once again together. I am just waiting for my visitation approval to go through. It seems to be taking a long time. I have been waiting for about 3 1/2 weeks. I have left messages for his counselor, but he hasn't called back yet. So right now we are both frustrated because we are 3 miles from one another and can't see each other. Hopefully I get to see him by next week. I have found this forum very helpful. I have never had to deal with the MDOC and I was able to get any questions I could have possibly had answered by these forums. Thanks for the support and have an excellent Thanksgiving all!!

Welcome to the lifer family!!!! We are alway happy to welcom a new member into our fold! Please feel free to jump right in!!!!
Oh, and don't be too worried by not getting approved too quickly....it's the holidays and the DOC runs real slow during this time of year!!!!



Ann

Hey PattiD! :D

Imtwo -- welcome to our lifer family! :wave: Three miles away?? Wow. I hope you get approved soon.

(hmm beginning to think that I should've done this the day of the trial....but since I hadn't)

Hi lifers forum:wave:. I am Melissa. My Fiance Jake, is going to be formally sentenced on February 23rd, 2007. Although the judge told him the sentence (informally) on the day he plead. Jake will be sentenced to life (no parole due to the crime which I will post later, sorry) plus 10-20 for anther crime tied into the first. I am very glad to have found this part of the site, now I know that I am not alone, as I usually feel. This site even though I have only been registered for about a week and a half or so, has been of much help and given me much strength. :thumbsup: We have not discussed wedding plans yet, he wants to wait until he is transferred to a state facility. But I am really hoping for it to be within the next year :D. Being that it is almost 5am my time at the moment. I will conclude this. I wish you all the best, and I am here to support each and everyone of you, and hope that I will be of assistance to at least one person, if so, my goal is met :).

Melissa,
Welcome to our little corner of the big world. I think you find some wonderful people here. We are glad you have joined us. Have a great day to come...
msmomto4:)


(hmm beginning to think that I should've done this the day of the trial....but since I hadn't)

Hi lifers forum:wave:. I am Melissa. My Fiance Jake, is going to be formally sentenced on February 23rd, 2007. Although the judge told him the sentence (informally) on the day he plead. Jake will be sentenced to life (no parole due to the crime which I will post later, sorry) plus 10-20 for anther crime tied into the first. I am very glad to have found this part of the site, now I know that I am not alone, as I usually feel. This site even though I have only been registered for about a week and a half or so, has been of much help and given me much strength. :thumbsup: We have not discussed wedding plans yet, he wants to wait until he is transferred to a state facility. But I am really hoping for it to be within the next year :D. Being that it is almost 5am my time at the moment. I will conclude this. I wish you all the best, and I am here to support each and everyone of you, and hope that I will be of assistance to at least one person, if so, my goal is met :).

Melissa....I am kind of a member of the lifer forum. Well I pop in from time to time. There are some wonderful women in here. Very strong and loving. My guy has served 13 years of a 28 year sentence. If there is ever anything you need please don't ever be afraid to holler. You will find so much love and support here. These ladies are some of the best on PTO. Please feel free to contact any of them at any time....me included.
Welcome to the PTO family!!!

Melissa,
Welcome to the Lifers forum. Patti could not be more right about the people in this forum, they are the absolute best!!!! They are always here to hold you up, to listen when you need to vent, with advice on how to walk this heartrending walk.
The lifers forum has been a cornerstone in helping me to continue supporting my lifer. I'm sure you will find the same non-judgmental, incredibly loving helping hand that all of us have found here.

Meslissa!! Welcome to PTO and to the lifer forum! You will no doubt find losts of love and support here!


Ann

hello and how are you

Thank you all, I will more than likely be spending most of my time on PTo in this forum, it is more related to my situation and you all probably understand more so then many that only have loved ones serving a few years (yes, I know even that is hard, but life is much more of a struggle)

Hello and welcome, Annmartinez and M. Archer! :wave:

You are right, we lifer people have issues all our own, so I hope you all feel free to join in the discussions! And also please join us in the Lifers Lounge, it's a good place to get to know people and say hello.

As you I'm new to this forum, but I've already found a lot of support. I wanted to tell you Welcome. It's like family here, in some cases much more.

Welcome to the Lifer Forum!!! Glad you found us!!!



hugs,
ann

Thank u Ann. Looking forward to talk 2 everyone here.

I have read in several places that you discuss our special problems. Is this the intro site and there are more, or what. I am still finding my way around. I would like to see what people are talking about. Maybe I should go and read all the posts here??Blessings. K

Hi, sherburnemama. Yes, there are more forums and sub-forums. What I do is I click on prison talk, there you'll see the forums, sub-forums, information on Doc from all the states, some are general info. others are info. concerning the prisons, etc. etc. I'm sorry if I couldn't help u more as I am also new to this. Maybe someone else reads this and can help us both, LOL. By the way, welcome to PTO.

Hi: My name is Nancy and I am engaged to a lifer. We have an interesting history as I saw his story on American Justice and decided to write him a letter of support, never expecting it to go any further. I was not familiar with his case which was a surprise to him as it was world wide and there was an Ann Rule book about it and President Clinton had even been involved. We fell hopelessly in love and he changed my life for the better. I have never even been in love before BUT I am now and I would not trade one second of our history for anything. I am so glad I found this site because, as you all know, it is very hard to find people who will even attempt to understand. And due to the notoriety of his case it is even harder. I live in NC and he is incarcerated in Florida which makes things even harder. We hope to get him transferred here within a year. I am sure I will learn a lot from everyone here.

Welcome to PTO! I hope things go well for you and you can get him transferred!

Welcome Nancy. I wish u the best.

Hello to all the new members.. I am glad you found us here! we are all here for support ...... make yourself comfortable and read some of our threads that is one way to get to know us! and keep posting ...

WELCOME ~~~~~~~

Hi everyone, this is Lady Dee from Mass. Some of you may have read my intros in the general section, and in the NY forum. My friend is serving a 25-life sentence in NY. I didn't know him on the outside - I found him through one of the penpal websites, but he has become one of my best friends. I'm so glad to find that this forum exists...and as I've said before, this site, and the people on it, are truly amazing!

Hi all you new people. I am new too, but welcome from me. Together we will find strength to move forward, not looking at what happened, the dark stuff, but the future where our love makes things brighter.

Welcome to all of the newcomers!!!! I am very happy to see you posting in the lifer forum!!!!!


Ann

hi i just now realized there was a lifer forum. so i will introduce myself.
Well Ive known this guy for 12 years lets call him "C". We were just sort of acquaintances. He went to two different middle schools with me then years later after high school we ran into eachother along our paths and hung out a little here and there. I was attracted to him but I at the time had a boyfriend. So anyway... in 2004 the guy who was my boyfriend at the time lets call him "B" was locked up and ran into "C". They started talking and "B" found out that "C" was locked up and looking at either life or death. "B" (my bf at the time) writes me telling me the situation and told me to get ahold of "C" and keep in touch with him so we could both visit him and stuff.
Well me and "B"'s relationship was real messed up and we eventually split up (it should have happened a long time before that), but I had written "C" afew times with no reply. I was thinking to myself wow he must think Im crazy or something. This is in 2004. So I had sent him one last letter explaining that I was just trying to talk and be there for him because I would want the same if I was in that situation and that I know its hard and I was just trying to see if he had anyone there for him and helping him out on his books and stuff. I also told him that I would stop writing and leave him alone if he didnt write back this time. Well still was no reply until out of nowhere in 2005 he writes me. He said he was going through a really tough time and that he couldnt figure out why I would care enough to write. And I guess he thought I had still been with my ex and he thought I was going behind my ex's back or something. Which was not the case. He told me how he appreciated my "kind words of encouragement" and that he was very thankful.
We started writing eachother back and forth talking more in detail about ourselves things we hadnt known about eachother. Time went by and we started becoming good buddys. I was feeling really attracted to him and I didnt want to mention that cause i didnt want to seem like a weirdo. u know. But one ay I got a letter and was all excited as usual. I sat down in my room on my bed to read it and he told me how he felt about me.
I was so shocked and happy on what I read. But I didnt reply quick enough I guess cause I was waiting for a week or two for a ride to get pictures developed and he sent me another letter saying that he was sorry for telling me what he did and that he didnt mean any disrespect to me or my ex (cause i still hung out with my ex as a friend sometimes). He said he just thought I was beautiful and that he liked me. I was like awww. I wrote him back REAL QUICK telling him that I was happy when I saw what he wrote and that I was attracted to him too. And that I liked him and well its 2007 now and here we are. We've gotten very close and I talk to him about alot of things. Its been an eye opener talking with him. People take life foregranted and they dont realize the things they do could change their life dramatically.
He wants to be my man but you know with the life sentence its kind of hard. In the future I want a marriage with someone who can be here with me and to raise a family with them. We still have our steamy talks in the letters and talks about the kind of relationship we'll have when he gets out. :( We both love eachother and if he were out here I would definately be with him. I've let him know when I've dated. He knows I want someone who is going to be able to be with me. But right now I'm single. Well except for him. He's my man still. I will always hope for a miracle release and that he can come be with me and live his life out here as a changed man.

If he gets his parole in 2044 hes coming to live with me whether Im married to someone else or not! Hes a big part of my life. We both are there for eachother in our letters.

Welcome Sarah20. Glad you found the lifer thread. I am glad others are here. It is hard walking it out with a lifer. k

Hi sarah! Welcome to the lifer forum!!


Ann

Hi! I'm Carol from the Netherlands and my man is serving a 15-life sentence in California, he's currently in his 18th year.

Hi, Sarah, Welcome. If u don't mind me asking? Are u his girl or aren't u? U say u love him and then u say u want somebody who could be there with u. I'm kinda confused. :confused:




hi i just now realized there was a lifer forum. so i will introduce myself.
Well Ive known this guy for 12 years lets call him "C". We were just sort of acquaintances. He went to two different middle schools with me then years later after high school we ran into eachother along our paths and hung out a little here and there. I was attracted to him but I at the time had a boyfriend. So anyway... in 2004 the guy who was my boyfriend at the time lets call him "B" was locked up and ran into "C". They started talking and "B" found out that "C" was locked up and looking at either life or death. "B" (my bf at the time) writes me telling me the situation and told me to get ahold of "C" and keep in touch with him so we could both visit him and stuff.
Well me and "B"'s relationship was real messed up and we eventually split up (it should have happened a long time before that), but I had written "C" afew times with no reply. I was thinking to myself wow he must think Im crazy or something. This is in 2004. So I had sent him one last letter explaining that I was just trying to talk and be there for him because I would want the same if I was in that situation and that I know its hard and I was just trying to see if he had anyone there for him and helping him out on his books and stuff. I also told him that I would stop writing and leave him alone if he didnt write back this time. Well still was no reply until out of nowhere in 2005 he writes me. He said he was going through a really tough time and that he couldnt figure out why I would care enough to write. And I guess he thought I had still been with my ex and he thought I was going behind my ex's back or something. Which was not the case. He told me how he appreciated my "kind words of encouragement" and that he was very thankful.
We started writing eachother back and forth talking more in detail about ourselves things we hadnt known about eachother. Time went by and we started becoming good buddys. I was feeling really attracted to him and I didnt want to mention that cause i didnt want to seem like a weirdo. u know. But one ay I got a letter and was all excited as usual. I sat down in my room on my bed to read it and he told me how he felt about me.
I was so shocked and happy on what I read. But I didnt reply quick enough I guess cause I was waiting for a week or two for a ride to get pictures developed and he sent me another letter saying that he was sorry for telling me what he did and that he didnt mean any disrespect to me or my ex (cause i still hung out with my ex as a friend sometimes). He said he just thought I was beautiful and that he liked me. I was like awww. I wrote him back REAL QUICK telling him that I was happy when I saw what he wrote and that I was attracted to him too. And that I liked him and well its 2007 now and here we are. We've gotten very close and I talk to him about alot of things. Its been an eye opener talking with him. People take life foregranted and they dont realize the things they do could change their life dramatically.
He wants to be my man but you know with the life sentence its kind of hard. In the future I want a marriage with someone who can be here with me and to raise a family with them. We still have our steamy talks in the letters and talks about the kind of relationship we'll have when he gets out. :( We both love eachother and if he were out here I would definately be with him. I've let him know when I've dated. He knows I want someone who is going to be able to be with me. But right now I'm single. Well except for him. He's my man still. I will always hope for a miracle release and that he can come be with me and live his life out here as a changed man.

If he gets his parole in 2044 hes coming to live with me whether Im married to someone else or not! Hes a big part of my life. We both are there for eachother in our letters.

Welcome, Carol, to the lifers forum!!! I am happy you found us!!


Hi, Sarah, Welcome. If u don't mind me asking? Are u his girl or aren't u? U say u love him and then u say u want somebody who could be there with u. I'm kinda confused. :confused:

While I cannot speak for Sarah I can say that I totally understand where she's coming from. She has love for her lifer but she's realistic about how far she can carry a relationship with him. I respect her for being honest and for knowing her limitations.


Ann

I think it is good and also possibly a rare thing for someone entering this relationship to do so with your eyes wide open realizing what you will possibly be giving up in your life, realizing that it may be more than you are willing to give at the time.

I was much older than Sarah when I pretty much plunged into this relationship with both feet and I had no idea what challenges, heartaches, roadblocks, just plain old fashioned frustration came with this. So I applaud her attitude. When we choose to walk this unusual path, we have to do it in the manner that works best for us.

Welcome Sara, niuy,sherburne, united to the Lifers Forum, the most wonderful forum on PTO.

Thanks, penwife and JKB's girl, for the warm welcome! :)

To answer the questions me and him have been escalating the relationship, but not yet in a commited bf gf relationship. we are sort of bf gf but either way things go I will try to be there for him and I've told him. we plan on being together or trying to see if things will work then, but that could be never.

He is still legally married, but the lady left him I kind of chose to leave that out cause its kind of his business you know but oh well its out in the open. Maybe one day she'll go back to him. I don't know if he'll take her back or not. If shes a good woman and they get on good terms then that might be best for him because they have a child together and were in a relationship before all this. She did leave him pretty quick but of course she's got alot on her plate. But every day I care about him more and more.

I love him and he loves me, but realistically I deserve to have a life, marriage, family, and be happy. We'll see where things lead me. I'm not jumping into something serious and committed this quick. I will continue to write and see if we end up in a commited relationship or if we stay how things are now or just good friends. Whether I get married or not to someone else over these years, when he gets out (if he does) as long as we are still on talking terms he's coming home with me and staying with me.


oh yah and im 22 going to be 23 later this year, but my screen name is sarah20xoxo cause i use that on other sites and made the screen name when i was 19 about to be 20.

Hello all....
Well i have seen this forum but never posted and today i found it again and decided i should say hello...Seeing as i could be here a while...My baby is serving a 15-life sentence for murder and has served close to 21 years in california. I am 40 with 4 kids at home 19-7....I met my lifer 10 years ago and at this time i was with his younger brother. Whom i married and had a child with. We have stayed friends over the years and become best friends too. When i got divorced he was there for me and i was there for him when he got divorced as well. So here we are today..We will be married in april(god willing) and i have never been happier with my choice in taking on this life. He is the man i have searched for all my life and we are good together. he does have the possibility of parole and we can only hope that as things are changing in the political front that he will eventually be released. I look forward to reading more posts from all of you and jsut to add I LOVE PTO....it has been a godsend to me. I have been on since september and only found it by accident. You ladies have taught me a great deal in a short time.
Thanks to you all...
msmomto4

best of luck msmomto4 :)

msmom!! Glad to see you here!!!


Ann

Hey Lady Dee I m from mass too!! talk soon

D from mass :)
visit us in the mass forum

I recently heard that he was at the Mt. Olive Prision. I haven't seen him in 20 years. Is there anyway to view his mugshot?

Hello sarah.. and welcome to the lifers forum.. !
just take it slow..

rblittle's who / where .? if you want go to vinelink.com or your state fourm.. if you are lookinng for an inmate that may help?? good luck

Hello everyone. My name is Becca from Fayetteville, AR. My boyfriend is doing 23years to life unless he gets parole. But that will be along time from now. He was just sent down march 1, 2007. How do you stick with someone and deal with the relationship with someone serving so much time? This is a new experience for me, with a lifer. Any support, advice, would really help. I miss him so much. Thanks

Wolfen,
Welcome to the Lifers forum. I don't know that any of us have the right answers to your questions. It is a very hard walk, but very rewarding at times.
I would suggest to you that you read thru the lifers forum a little at a time and I'm sure you will see how we deal or not deal with the challenges of loving a lifer and trust me, its okay to have those days when you just can't do it, we all have them.
There's a saying you will see a lot on here and not only in the lifers forum, we call it a roller coaster ride due to all the ups and downs we experience and I can think of no better anacronysm for this than a roller coaster. The one thing I can tell you for sure is that you have found a wonderful safe haven here in the lifers forum. It is full of the most wonderful compassionate understanding people you will ever find in one spot.
Again, welcome

Welcome wolfen,
Like said by leslie.. it is one big RIDE.. hold on and remeber we are all here for you in the lifer forum.. there is alot of info/experience and support here

Wolfen!! Welcome to PTO and to the lifers forum!

Hello my name is Susan, i'm from San Diego; my husband is doing 7-Life. He has been down since 1992. I met him in 1997 and we married in 1999 at Chuckawalla, although we started our paperwork in Ironwood. He is on his third parole hearing this June. There are many, many time I feel that I just can't take another day of this!! However it passes and here I am still holding on for dear life.
Since my first visit with my husband was the first time I had experinced anything dealing with jail of any kind it was a real eye opener for me, frankley it scared the crap out of me!!! I guess I got over it for I married the man!!!
He is the LOVE of my life and I wouldnt change it for anything.
I'm glad that everyone is here because people do not understand the feelings that go into this type of realionship, so it fills my heart that you ALL are here!! Thank you.

Welcome docswife!

welcome wolfen and docs wife.. !

Welcome to the lifer forum Wolfen and Docswife!

Hello everyone, I must say reading your stories are definitely an eye opener as well a big help both at the same time. Its amazing that you guys are so stong and so in love... still through it all... you are definitely peopel/woman from this day on i look up to...

To introduce myself... Hi i'm Ms. Rah from Jersey... My Love was just sentenced to Life on 4/3/07... my brother was sentenced to 40 on the same day for the same crime... I'm very confused ... my thoughts are all over the place... I'm old enough (26) to know this will be difficult but I'm in love enough to want to hold on... but how do you do this and still live your life and make them or him feel okay with the situation he is or has been put in... I have many questions and if i keep going i would never end so for now i just wanted to say you guys are great... I'm new to PTO... but already i'm obsessed... I understand i need to be patient and take things day to day but its getting hard already...

I think its crazy that i have yet to cry about this and sentencing was last Tuesday... I figure after he was found guiling back in January i cried enough then so cry now for what... Anyway just wanted to say hello.. i'm here... i'm thankful you all are there... and you will be hearing from me through the years... Love always to you all... thanks again.

Hello to the new members!!! I love that our forum is growing!!!!


I'm old enough (26) to know this will be difficult but I'm in love enough to want to hold on... but how do you do this and still live your life and make them or him feel okay with the situation he is or has been put in...

You said it yourself!! The key to make this work is to live your life! Be a huge support system to your lifer but don't lose yourself in the process.
Share your life with him. Talk about your day, make him feel that he's a part of everything you do. Encourage him to talk about his day. Support him in his activities, make him feel that his life is no less important than yours. These are just a few examples of what you can do!!!


hugs,
Ann

Ann..shiva...the rest I DO know....(((((((waves)))))



I don't know if I ever formally introduced myself in here or not. Im Bella from Indiana and my boyfriend is in Ohio doing a "18 to life" bid. I met him as a pen pal and been with him for 2 and half years now. SO yea consider me a long hauler.

Welcome all the newer members.

Bella

Bella, you've been around for a while!!! You know the score!

BTW>>>>> I love your siggy!!!

Hello he'sgotlifenme! ! welcome to the lifers forum ! you will find the support/info/love and rant and raves.. all here! we are a VERY STRONG bunch of folks..

Hi bella you cutie... good to see you back!

Thanks......ill be on here more and more. I was on over there on ville but lately thats NOT MY CUP of TEA if ya feel me. Its good to be back....sure brings back alot of memories. I hope all is well with this neck of the woods.

Bella

Hi everyone. My husband is doing 25 to life under the insane 3 strikes law here in Cali. All we can do is hope and hold on. I dropped in here after a year to see how everyone is. Never really posted much before, but maybe i can find a nice thread and settle in with some new friends. ;)

aliferz....sure gurl feel free to do as much posting as ya want. We've got some really great people in here and I'm sure u'll make some new friends rather quickly.

Bella

Hi my name is Kasi.. Im 19 and my husband (who is also 19) was recently sentenced to LWOP :( so its been hard and STILL is. Hes currently in Reception in NKSP in CA. I havent talked to him since march 1st or seen him since mid feb. I miss him soo much but no one really understands what im going thru thats why im grateful for this site. I have found alot of useful info on here, but nothing beats the support of people who know EXACTLY what your going thru.
KASI

Kasi....hey gurl welcome over here to the Lifer's forum. Yup u guessed it gurl...we are here 24/7 so post ya lil heart out. We know what yer going thru and I hope u find anything and everything you need here. If you ever need to talk...feel free to get at me =) Im never far....

Bella

Hi everyone, just posted to the thread before this one, so if I repeat myself I do apologise, am still finding my way around. I found a long lost rellie to be in USA prison system--has been in for forty years, so I've never met him. But as I don't have many rellies out here and he has very few left over there, so we are as close as family can get to each other. I've been writing him for about six months now and hopefully help a tiny bit with the isolation of the SHU. This site is a tremendously helpful site for me, not understanding the American prison and legal system at all--ours is sooo different. In the very short time since I found it, I have learnt so much and I am sure will continue learning more, so I do appreciate very much everyone who has shared their experiences and knowledge so freely. Which, of course goes toward an inkling of understanding what life must be like for him and makes me so much more grateful for the tiniest of freedoms that I used to take for granted. One of our policitions once said "Life ain't meant to be easy" and I know mine isn't, but compared some of the stories I have read on here--I'm doing very well!:o Thank you again to everyone that has and continues to contributes to my learning as much as I posibly can. Cheers NB:)

Hey hon Im assuming you mean relatives when u refer as "rellies"...thats cute Imma have to start using that myself...LOL Never the less tho...welcome to PTO and its a great support group here. We are here 24 hours a day 365 days a week....like UPS....come rain, sleet, and hail baby!!

Thanks 'His Shortie', there have been a few sleepless night after some of his letters are written in a 'depressed' or 'angry' state--I am glad I'm here for him to vent to, but it does worry me at times--of course, our night is your day and vicki-verca, so I am very, very grateful for the support. Oh, and yes, rellie is relation. Thanks again, and cheers NB.

Kasie and NB!!

Welcome to the Lifer forum!! You will find lots of support and understanding here!!

hugs,
Ann

Thanks Ann, much appreciated, cheers NB :) PS Just looooov your butterfly!

NB!! I love butterflies, they symbolize freedom and change....I think we could all use a little of both in the lifer forum!!!

Ann

Hello.. and welcome to all our new "friends" and lifer family.!

HAPPY MOTHERS DAY TO ALL THE LADIES IN HERE FROM BELLA, TOMMY, AND MY KIDDOS!!!

hello Everone I Am New To This Site And Im Looking For All The Support That I Can Get. I Am An Ex Correctional Officer And I Fell Inlove With An Inmate In My Dormitory. He Has Life +40. But He Is Still Fighting For His Freedom Because He Did Not Do What He Was Convicted Of. Everyone Thinks Im Crazy, But I Love This Man More Than Words Can Desrcibe. Anyone Out There Share My Pain?

Miss.....welcome to the lifers forum. Isn't love grand? Im not an ex co or anything but Im sure there is someone in here who can share that kind of pain but at the least kind of pain where the love of yer life has any form of a life sentence...then yes thats me as well! I hope you find all the support you seek and I don't deny u will....we have some wonderful ladies all across this board and among others! Hang in there....

Bella

misspt!!

Hello and welcome to pto and to the lifers forum! I am glad you found us!!!


Ann

Hi everyone my name is coco and i am 30 yrs old. I am in love with my bestfriend we have been a couple for a year and 1/2. we've been friends for 17 years , 10 of which he's been in prison serving a life sentence with a possibility for parole in 14 yrs which means october 2010 is when he has that tentative parole date. i must tell you i just love this guy. i am happy i found this forum, i hope & pray i get the support i need. this relationship is not one everyone can imagine understanding, people look at me strange, they dont say anything but the words are written over their faces with their sly smirks

Hi coco and welcome to the lifers' place!

Yeah, it's rough and crazy being invloved with a lifer, but here you will find nothing but the support of those who are going through the same as you and also some who have lots of experience to help guide us.

This really is a special forum, so join in and keep posting!

Hi everyone. Have not been on this thead lately. It was good to just hear you talk, so to speak. Anyone here ever try for clemency? My guy has lwop and we tried once, and it was so hard after we were turned down. So we decided not to try again and leave it to God. Then a lawyer said he wanted to try and all. My husband said OK and we are starting to get hope again. But that is hard because you know the hope can get smashed again. I cannot live as if he were not my husband. I was alone too many years. We have wonderful visits and he does not live too far, and we talk once a week and of course, we write. Hope someone has had this experience. I have been on another thread and there were two mentions of people who got off the life thing and have some sort of cuts. Just wondering. k:confused:

Sherbur....I apologize I don't have any experience in that area but fingers are crossed for ya. Best wishes and hang in there!!

Bella

welcome Coco and sherburnemama!!!

Ann

Hello and welcome to pto and the lifer forum we are all here for you..
and i wish i had some experience with clemancy/ or even a slight chance at parole but not yet..

Keep posting!

Hi, how you doing? Well my brother is doing life and at times I need someone who understands where I am coming from so yes PTO has been a huge part of my life. I have not been on in a long time but it is great. The only thing is I wish I was online at home, there are times things happen and I can't even pick up the phone to talk to someone....that is nice too. It is all good. Take care,
Colleen in Boston, MA

PS: Keep your head up....

Hello to all! Just a shout out for all the families represented here today... My Lamont's in USP-Lee (VA), I reside in Miami, Florida and our children are with me, except for two of them. We're waiting for the appeal to be granted, the conviction overturned, and all that good jazz. I trust that God wouldn't have us for us to go through all this just for decoration... we can buy those out of KMart... my prayer is that all of us are given great news.... since we all deserve it!

Divinesgirl!

Welcome to the lifers forum! You will find alot of support here, Now if you can just get the hookup at home you will be set!!!

lamontlover!

Hey girl!! hope all is well with you!!


hugs,
Ann

[/URL]Divines and lamont welcome to our forum. Im sure here you'll find all kinds of welcoming support and certainly hope to see more of you guys. Im Bella and if ya ever need anything please give me a shout....I don't bite! Ugh I was gonna post a cute smiley face but I guess u can't on PTO!

Bella





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Hey Ann... it's mad L O C K D O W N at USP Lee... it's been almost two 2 two 2 weeks and no word from Lamont... I called the facility earlier today and was given the news... at least the man answering the phone was in betta spirits!!! thanks for the shout-out! :thumbsup: also for Tommy's "Wifey for Lifey"... that is so awesome, but I guess that's how awesome minded individuals do!

My name is Becca and I recently moved back to Adrian, Michigan for the summer. Been living in Arkansas where my lifer is incarcerated. He is 40 years old and violated parole for the 3rd time. So he got life. I'm not sure if its life or natural life. This is the second time to this site. Am usually on the arkansas site. this prison business is very new to me. How do you get by daily without your lifer? Any help or advise would be appreciated.

Hi, I get by each day with trusting in God. Some days are better than others. I trust that God knows what He is doing having me keeping on with my guy for life. I just met with a Senator (state) today and he does not want to talk to me with a 10 foot pole about my Love, but he wants me to keep up the good work with kids who are in trouble. I asked if he thought people could change, and he said sure but some need to stay in jail for punishment for the rest of their lives. I was a little shocked at his attitude, but now am just praying he will think about what I said to him. k:grouphug:

Hey lamont, wolfen,sherburnmama and of course divines girl Hey Girl..
It s nice to see you all here, you have found the right place.. for support and info .. keep posting , we are all here for you and have been through ALOT of the lifer // life

be well

wolfen,

Living a full life out here is key to keeping yourself happy. Don't sit at home because your guy is locked up. Join clubs and meet new people. take vacations with friends!

there's so much more i could say, but instead i'll just ask you to read thru some of the forums threads and you will get a sense of how we get by.


hugs,
Ann

I agree with PenWife... now that he's on "vacation" you can get involved with getting yourself more together... this is a time that you must remain focused on you. For now, he's okay... but if you stay "holed-up" and not doing anything, believe me that mess doesn't work! I tried it and... I will NEVA do that again. I even wrote Lamont and told him what I was doing and he wrote me back telling me what in the h&*$ is my problem... take some classes... expand your mind, your spirit...you intelligence... you are worth it... Shiva... blessed be to God for ya! Always have it going on... keep your eyes on Jesus and your hands lifted... that's okay... I'll hold them up for you as Joshua and Caleb (or was it Aaron?) did for Moses when Israel was fighting the Amorites... when his arms (Moses') came down-they were losing the battle, but when Moses' arms were supported (held up by others), Israel won the battle! That's the word from the Most High God on your behalf... this isn't your battle, it's HIS! He will fight on your behalf, just TRUST Him! Mad love for ya!

Hi Everybody:wave:

I'm fairly new to PTO and I've been working myself around the place. (I seem to fall into a few of the categories.) I love my lifer very much; he's my son. I wish I knew this place existed way back when my nightmare started. I was totally lost, devastated,...my whole world fell apart. I've been dealing with it for approximately 14 years and counting? So the pain has lessened some and my faith has kept me going. I pray that one glorious day my son will be out...God Willing:bow:

JiniGurl... mad love to ya! You finally made it here! My God... 14 years... and he's your son... my heart cries out for you and your family... bless ya both... PenWife, I finally got my visitation approved... but I haven't seen Lamont in almost 10 years and I'm scared! Please advise me... :eek:

Jini....welcome and we have a great bunch of ladies around this forum and all across this board. Hope to see ya around more.

Bella

Thanks ladies...
It's wonderful and good to know that there is support out there:grouphug: I feel your pain and I wish you all lots of love:love:

We'll be in touch :yes:

A good Thursday to all of you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jeni!

welcome to PTO and to the lifer forum!


Ann

Hello All! I'm new to this community and still trying to find my way around. I was very happy to see this forum. My name is Ellie and my man is serving life in PA. We have been together for close to 18 years. This relationship has enriched my life in so many ways, but its still difficult to share a lot of it with family & friends no matter how supportive they try to be. I look forward to becoming a part of your "family" here!

Hello and Welcome...I'm pretty new too. You'll start to get the hang of it eventually:thumbsup:

Hello, my name is Karen. I am writing to you in hopes that someone can give me some insight with regard to a lifer being paroled. My father-in-law, Lawrence Remsen, Calif.'s Dirty Little Secret (author) is up for yet another parole hearing next month. I have sent off 2 letters stating he will have a place of residence, as well as employment, upon his release. Is there anything more for me to do? He has been in prison for more than 25 years. He has done his time (over and above) and I just want this to be his last parole hearing. We have only communicated through the mail. So, as you know, it has been real difficult to get answers as quickly as they are needed. Any help from this board is very welcome and necessary. Thank you in advance.

Karen:confused:

Hi Karen!! I am no parole expert, but I just wanted to welcome you to the forum :)... you might want to post a separate thread with your question so more people will see it...

Welcome all new members to the Lifers Forum

I'm not entirely sure what to say here, but I'[ll start with the basics. My name is Tracey. I am 36. I started dating a man last year before he went to trial and then was incarcerated. It's a very odd situation in that I had never had a relationship with any man like I had with this man. Frank had a completely different way with me that I still don't fully understand, but appreciate. He was given a life sentence in July of last year. I write him often and try to keep his spirits up. We are working on getting the sentence overturned, but haven't had much luck yet. We still pray and hold to the fact that there's a reason that we were brought together. He is incarcerated in Texas and is being held in the Clements Unit. I have not been able to see him since it's such a distance, but I'm working on it. I am at a loss...I hope if I left anything out, someone will ask. I never expected to find myself in this situation, but it's good to know that I am not alone.

Hey texas! Welcome!!! :wave:

Thanks for the intro... it's an unusual life here to be sure, but I hope you can feel some comfort now you're surrounded by others who understand!

I think most of us never imagined ourselves in this situation, yet here we are... best of luck on your appeals and I hope you can see him soon.

Hi. My name is Geri. My 21 year old son has just begun serving a life sentence here in Wisconsin for defending himself. He is the oldest of my 4 boys and the center of my heart. At sentencing he was given a life sentence with a release date no sooner than 20 years. The worst day of my life. I was sure that he was going to come home to us for the entire 10 months that we waited for him to go to trial. I have said many times that the trip to that courthouse to hear the sentence felt like I was on my way to his funeral. I imagine there are others here who might know what I mean by that???
I spend countless hours visiting him, talking on the phone and writing to him. And yet....I miss him so much. He is still so young. The thought of him spending the best years of his life in prison is almost unbearable. He will be my age if they release him in 20 years. It breaks my heart. I wanted so much more for him.
I have read a number of the posts here and see that so many of you have been hanging in there for many years with your loved one. Any advice for a terrified mother??? It has been almost 14 months since my son was arrested and honestly, there has not been one moment of one day that he has not been the center of my thoughts. How can I keep him strong and optimistic about his life with so amny years ahead of him??
Thanks for being here. Really!

Hi. My name is Geri. My 21 year old son has just begun serving a life sentence here in Wisconsin for defending himself. He is the oldest of my 4 boys and the center of my heart. At sentencing he was given a life sentence with a release date no sooner than 20 years. The worst day of my life. I was sure that he was going to come home to us for the entire 10 months that we waited for him to go to trial. I have said many times that the trip to that courthouse to hear the sentence felt like I was on my way to his funeral. I imagine there are others here who might know what I mean by that???
I spend countless hours visiting him, talking on the phone and writing to him. And yet....I miss him so much. He is still so young. The thought of him spending the best years of his life in prison is almost unbearable. He will be my age if they release him in 20 years. It breaks my heart. I wanted so much more for him.
I have read a number of the posts here and see that so many of you have been hanging in there for many years with your loved one. Any advice for a terrified mother??? It has been almost 14 months since my son was arrested and honestly, there has not been one moment of one day that he has not been the center of my thoughts. How can I keep him strong and optimistic about his life with so amny years ahead of him??
Thanks for being here. Really!

I want to welcome you to the lifers forum. This place is so awesome and the support here is steady and unwavering.

As a mother of three grown sons I can sympathize with your heartbreak. It is not my son who is incarcerated, thank God. My Kenny has been incarcerated for nearly 30 years now, he went in at the age of 18. I know that it was extremely difficult for him to go in that young, he literally has grown up behind the fences.

I have no magic words of wisdom to give you or your son. In his case, it took him over seven years of being incarcerated to make his peace with where he was and to find a way within himself to deal with his circumstances. It is beyond my comprehension how he has come out to be the man he is now. I can only tell you that it is possible to survive prison and to keep who they are intact. I believe a large reason that he has been able to do as well as he has is that he had family that never waivered in their support of him, that maintained contact with him and always let him know that he was loved despite his offense. The same thing obviously applies to your son. It is so very important that they know they still have worth. Even after all this time incarcerated Kenny seems to have a need to be able to prove to me that my love for him is not misplaced despite me telling him he has nothing to prove to me. I think this comes from living so long in a place that tries to undermine and tear down the inner person.

I would encourage your son to take advantage of the programs offered to him, to try to stay as busy as possible and to never ever give up hope.

Again, welcome to the Lifers forum.

Hello everyone,

I'm Janey, I'm 41, I have a friend, also 41, serving a life sentence in the US.
We met as penpals and he has become really special to me and vice versa although we have only known each other for 9 months.
I don't really know what else to say apart from 'I'm gladly in it for the long haul' and good to know this Lifer's family is here.
Respect to you all :)

hi my name is andrea and my love is serving life without parole in i.s.p. ft. madison but i live in new york. he has already done 5 years and we both have a long way to go...im just so thankful for this site and all the members because without u guys i dont know how i would be able to go through this.
god bless you all and stay strong and if anyone needs a friend to talk to or just a good listener private message me

Welcome Andrea,

I hope you find all the support and help you need. This is a very welcoming place. I'm glad you found your way here. This is a very understanding group.

Am I invisible.....:D

I thought I got this on, but then this box came up for me to post. You are not invisible. I go on the lifer thread some, not too often.

My husband and I met by being pen pals. I am actually now writing a book about it. An editor approached me to do this.

I have been to Europe, but not the usual spots. Dalmatia, Kosovo, oh, once Switzerland. Never been to Ireland. My ex had folks from Ireland. So my kids would really like to go. My daughter was in the airport once, and loved it.
kay

Hello shelburnemama!

Welcome to the PTO.. lifer family and i am sure you have checked out the Maine forum as well.. LOVE MAINE.. it's beautiful.. hope you are well.. and i am happy you found us!

Welcome to janey and andrea as well! sorry for the late .. ness on this HELLO . :)

Hi everyone, I'm new at this also, My friend and Dr. was sentenced to life plus 5 and is going through processing in Ga. We are hoping and praying the appeal process works better than the original trial. Thanks for allowing me a place to ask questions and get answers without being told I'm wasting my time. Since his trial I can't tell you the number of people who have told me, he was guilty, you did all you could now let him go. I can't let it go, Dr.Chua is innocent and did not get a fair trial. I can not rest until everyone knows the wrong that was done to this gift from god.

Hi everyone, I'm new at this also, My friend and Dr. was sentenced to life plus 5 and is going through processing in Ga. We are hoping and praying the appeal process works better than the original trial. Thanks for allowing me a place to ask questions and get answers without being told I'm wasting my time. Since his trial I can't tell you the number of people who have told me, he was guilty, you did all you could now let him go. I can't let it go, Dr.Chua is innocent and did not get a fair trial. I can not rest until everyone knows the wrong that was done to this gift from god.

Welcome to PTO And to the lifers forum. you will find a lot of support here!


Ann

Hi...I am :new: to this sub-forum...... I was a reader and finally decided to start posting. My Honey is in Calipatria, Calif. for those who don't know that is near San Diego..... I live about 2 1/2 hours away from him and travel every 2 weeks to visit Sat & Sun...We have been together a long time. We have Lwop..... We have been taking 1 day at a time since 98....:love: :love: :heart: :heart:

I am new to this but just wanted to be around ladies who are in the same situation I am in. I am 31 years old and my husband is 26 (but acts like he is 35). Last week my husband and I went to trial and we got sentenced to 40 years to life. The reality has not hit me yet because I was not expecting him to be found guilty but what I do know is that I am going to be there for him. I love him so much and my friends and family do not understand this and tell me that I am better than this and should find some one who is not in prison and will be able to offer me something better. What they fail to understand is that I am in love with him and I feel that God put us on this earth for us to be together. We were neighbors since we were kids but never had a relationship because we grew up and went out separate ways. He was with his daughters mom for 10 years but out of those 10 yrs he was in prison for 7. I have 2 kids of my own. Our relationship started when he got out after doing the 7 yrs and unfortunately he was only out 6 months before he got arrested. In that short period of time we fell in love with each other and became to know one another to the point where we both know what we are thinking and feeling. I married him while he was in county and I do not regret it because he is the love of my life. No other man can ever replace him. I cry many times because I want him by my side and I wish things would be different. We both regret not starting our relationship a long time ago but things happen for a reason. The future scares me because I do not have him by my side. Can some one please let me know how they have been able to deal with their situation??

Sorry if I was just rambling on.

My name is Deidra. My lifer and I were together for 4 years, I left him over an argument. We each went on with our lives; or so we thought. I got married and had 2 children; he had a girlfriend. Eleven years later, my husband left me and our children. Who was there with shoulders for me to lean on? My true love, my lifer. We never lost contact during the 11 years, but never attempted to rekindle the relationship until the time was right. I realize, I never stopped loving him and I love him even more. I should have never left him. I hurt him more than I ever knew when I left. He loves my children as if they were his own and interacts with them MORE than there own father. We are committed to one another and looking forward to one day when he will be home with us. How rewarding to have someone love you for you, be committed to you and there for you unconditionally. I am so glad I found PTO while searching on line for something else. Everything happens for a reason.

I am new to this but just wanted to be around ladies who are in the same situation I am in. I am 31 years old and my husband is 26 (but acts like he is 35). Last week my husband and I went to trial and we got sentenced to 40 years to life. The reality has not hit me yet because I was not expecting him to be found guilty but what I do know is that I am going to be there for him. I love him so much and my friends and family do not understand this and tell me that I am better than this and should find some one who is not in prison and will be able to offer me something better. What they fail to understand is that I am in love with him and I feel that God put us on this earth for us to be together. We were neighbors since we were kids but never had a relationship because we grew up and went out separate ways. He was with his daughters mom for 10 years but out of those 10 yrs he was in prison for 7. I have 2 kids of my own. Our relationship started when he got out after doing the 7 yrs and unfortunately he was only out 6 months before he got arrested. In that short period of time we fell in love with each other and became to know one another to the point where we both know what we are thinking and feeling. I married him while he was in county and I do not regret it because he is the love of my life. No other man can ever replace him. I cry many times because I want him by my side and I wish things would be different. We both regret not starting our relationship a long time ago but things happen for a reason. The future scares me because I do not have him by my side. Can some one please let me know how they have been able to deal with their situation??

Sorry if I was just rambling on.

I'm sorry to hear about the 40 years. Well, my man has been locked up going on 26 years! It is VERY hard, especially when you watch them blossom in life and become these mature adults that want just a "normal" life and you know they would be better off on the outside.

I'm not gonna sugar coat it for you, in all of it's reality, it is not easy at all. Many many times I thought, wow, how am I gonna get through this, but then you realize you love him so much and you can't leave. However, he has always been so good at saying, babe, I would totally understand if you leave. Because it isn't him just doing "Life" but so do you and your kids. 40 years is a long haul........ so, it is truly up to you. Really think about it, give it time, but always be honest with him, but more importantly, with yourself. You are not a bad person if you need or want to give up and move on.....because we aren't the ones that have done the crime. And they do understand. They may not like it, but they do understand.

I'm just trying to be real with you, and I hope you accept my openess to you. I'm sorry if I have hurt you with my openess, or with "MY" reality.

I wish you all of the luck, happiness, no matter what you choose!

hey yall, I am Misty from Ga, my guy is lop and will never come home..i think this forum is great for emotional supor as well as just blowing off steam with others who know what you are going through

hey yall, I am Misty from Ga, my guy is lop and will never come home..i think this forum is great for emotional supor as well as just blowing off steam with others who know what you are going through

Misty, Welcome to PTO! Here you are never alone. Hope to see more of you. Again welcome.

Dee;)

Edsgirly, inlovewithTony, sweetness and loonachick, welcome to the lifers place!!!

I've seen a couple of you around but I figured it's time for the official welcome... hope to hear more from all of you...

Feel free to join us in the Valentines lifers lounge thread, too, to just chat, vent, talk about anything thats on our minds!

best of luck ladies you guys have tough situations going on

Hi all! i'm Hayley and my sweetheart has LWOP in Arizona.

So happy i found this site, i love it!

Welcome to PTO and the Lifer forum!

Hi I'm A Lifers Wife. We Have Been Married For 11 Mths On March 22 . I Have Known My Husband For 22 1/2 Years. We Were Each Others First Loves. My Husband Had 44 To Life . Now Its Been Dropped Down To 29 To Life He Has Done 15 Of Those Years Pretty Much By Himself. I Was There In The Begining When He Got His Sentence But We Were Only Friends And Tried To Get Back Together For Support But It Just Wasnt Are Time . I Was 22yrs Old When He Was Sentenced He Was 25. I Never Stopped Loving This Man. He Has Always Been The Best Man I Ever Had. We Finally Hooked Up In 2006 O Sept. He Asked Me Agian To Marry Him I Said Yes Without Any Delay We Put Are Papers In . We Were Married In April 22,2007 I Found Out I Was Pregnant The Day After, Our Mircle Child Was Born On Dec. 26,2007. Our Life Is So Much Better Together. I Have Our Son To Keep Me Company When I Cant See My Husband. I Dont Know How Much Longer He Has But I Dont Care Either. My Life Is Truly Heaven Sent . I Thank Go Everyday For The Both Of Them. No Regrets Except I Wish I Would Have Done It When He Asked Me 15 Yrs Ago.

I've been on PTO for years now because of my close friend who is incarcerated in AZ, but it wasn't until about (4) months ago or so that my lifer in CA (we started out as pen pals) asked me to be his girl and I said okay. We're very much a couple now and I love him dearly. I recently went to visit him for the first time and it was great. Even though we had glass between us and I may never get to touch him, it was great to see him, talk to him, and hear his voice finally. (He doesn't get to make phone calls where he's housed). Anyway, this is a great forum. There are a lot of really nice people here.

I'm so happy for the both of you...forgive me... and the new baby! Gurlfriend, you have it goin on!:thumbsup:


Hi I'm A Lifers Wife. We Have Been Married For 11 Mths On March 22 . I Have Known My Husband For 22 1/2 Years. We Were Each Others First Loves. My Husband Had 44 To Life . Now Its Been Dropped Down To 29 To Life He Has Done 15 Of Those Years Pretty Much By Himself. I Was There In The Begining When He Got His Sentence But We Were Only Friends And Tried To Get Back Together For Support But It Just Wasnt Are Time . I Was 22yrs Old When He Was Sentenced He Was 25. I Never Stopped Loving This Man. He Has Always Been The Best Man I Ever Had. We Finally Hooked Up In 2006 O Sept. He Asked Me Agian To Marry Him I Said Yes Without Any Delay We Put Are Papers In . We Were Married In April 22,2007 I Found Out I Was Pregnant The Day After, Our Mircle Child Was Born On Dec. 26,2007. Our Life Is So Much Better Together. I Have Our Son To Keep Me Company When I Cant See My Husband. I Dont Know How Much Longer He Has But I Dont Care Either. My Life Is Truly Heaven Sent . I Thank Go Everyday For The Both Of Them. No Regrets Except I Wish I Would Have Done It When He Asked Me 15 Yrs Ago.

Hi everyone, My dad is serving a LWOP sentence in Iowa. He has already served 22 yrs.

:cool: Dawn that was a wonderful intro. I too am from Mi. My name is Amy. The Love of my life is serving LWOP in Calipatria B yard. He has been locked up for 15 years now. I found this site to find people who understand. But not only that for the first time ever I am flying out to see him. I should explain that him and i have how shall i say we've been together for 20 years now. due to bad choices he is now out there and i am stuck here until my kids are grown. then once again he and i will be together again. if only in visits. ok wow. So to all Loving A lifer Love extraordinary

Hi All,
My name is Dawn, and I live in Connecticut, I am a wife, the mother of three grown sons and I am a nurse.
My eldest son aged 28 was sentenced just this march to life without parole plus 10-20 years, with no appeals. I have posted a couple of times, but have never introduced myself. Also my son is incarcerated in Pennsylvania.

Thomas' Mom, Dawn

my name is samantha my man is serving life in michigan. I met him through my cousin asking me to write to him and that was two years ago I know that I have a long road ahead of me and he knows as well he asked me before if I was ready to have this relationship knowing that there is a chance that he will be in prison forever that he could lose all his appeals and I have told him many times that my heart and soul is his forever because I love him and I always stick by the ones I love no matter the obstacle.:thumbsup:

Hello Ladies :) ....I'm new to this forum but not to PTO.My husband's been down now going on 8 yrs,was sentenced to life w/o parole 4 yrs ago and this year will be our 9 yr anniversary.When he was sentenced,the pain I felt in my heart was so undescribable,(I'm sure many of you know the feeling.) His words to me were that he was not going to sit back and just except it,but that he will take it to every court need be and if they deny every single appeal down to the last one,only then will he sit back and except it,but until then,we are to keep hope alive.My husband is a very strong man and the way he gives me strength and support,you would think that I was the one locked up.Anyway...hopefully God will allow my husband to come home one day.I believe it will be "GOD" who will have the final say for my husband's life,not man.Whatever is HIS will,I'm still in it for the long haul....So here I am...Hope to get to know many of you here ;)...