The following daily meditations that I will post are taken from

Acts of Faith Daily Meditations for People of Color
By Iyanla Vanzant, Copyright 1993

Enjoy!

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July 16th

A reason. . . .

When someone is in your life for a reason, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed outwardly or inwardly. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up or out and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and it is now time to move on. Next!

When a prayer is answered, there is no need to cry.

July 17th

A Season . . .

When people come into your life for a season, it is because your turn has come to share, grow or learn. They may teach you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But only for a season. In the same way that leaves must fall from the trees, or the moon becomes full and then disappears, your seasonal relationship will end at the divinely appointed time. When that time comes, there is nothing you can say or do to make it work. There is no one you can blame. You cannot fix it. You cannot explain it. The harder you clutch, the worse it will feel. When the end of a season comes in a loving relationship, the only thing for you to do is let go.


For everything there is a season.

Thank you! Your post stopped me in my tracks and made me think and I needed that. It is so easy to take people and our surrounding world for granted.

July 18th

A lifetime . . .

Lifetime relationships are a bit more difficult to let go of. When a parent, child, or spouse is involved, the wounds are very deep. When the end of a relationship comes, you may feel that you would be better off dead. The pain seems to grow, the memories linger, a part of your life is dying. You relive every painful moment in an attempt to understand. Your job is not to understand. Your job is to accept. Lifetime relationships teach you lifetime lessons; those things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. They are the most difficult lessons to learn, the most painful to accept; yet these are the things you need in order to grow. When you are facing a separation of the end of a lifetime relationship, the key is to find the lesson; love the person anyway; move on and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships.

A new life begins when a part of life ends.

I needed this today! Thanks.

God Bless.

bsteph an nuro's wife~ your both welcome :) Isn't Iyanla Vanzant the best!!

Peace....Acts of Faith...is one of the books I have authored by Iyanla....she wrote in my copy, as an inscription..."A delay is not and denial, have faith." I love what is written for the first day of the year....There is a Power that loves me exactly as I am....I love those words! Thanks Melanie for sharing! Blessings..

July 19th

The most frightening part of helping is getting involved.
~ Dianne Ridley Roberts~

With all that goes on in our daily lives, we may believe we don’t have time to get involved with other people and their issues, yet we must. Perhaps we think if do not see or hear about the problems, they will go away, but they will not. People of color are a communal people. That means the community is our lifeline. African, Latin, Native American and Asian cultures are cultures of “we” not “I”. We cannot consider ourselves free, prosperous, successful or at peace as long as anyone who looks like us suffers. We cannot help everybody, but you can help somebody. We cannot do everything, but you can do something. If we each contribute time or money to someone for something, a great deal could be done. If we each shoulder a bit of the responsibility for us, we can progress faster.

I will do my part for us.

July20th

Someone was hurt before you; wronged before you; hungry before you; frightened before you; beaten before you; humiliated before you; raped before you; yet, someone survived.
~ Maya Angelou~

What do you do when it seems as if people want to stay in their pain? They have a story to tell and they tell you every chance they get. It may get to the point that they become so entrenched in their pain that they stop looking for a way out. Well, believe it or not, they may like where they are. Our job is to leave them there. You can point the way out of pain, but you cannot force them to get out. You can support the move beyond their limitations, but you cannot make the move. Movement requires learning from painful experiences by recognizing the role we have played. If we continually tell the story without drawing a conclusion, we become the victims of the drama of the pain.

You can do anything you choose to do.

July 21st

No person is your friend, who demands your silence or denies your right to grow.
~Alice Walker~

Have you ever wondered why people hide their dirty laundry in the closet of your mind? Somewhere deep inside, you may, feel honored when you are entrusted with another’s downside. What you fail to realize is that knowledge creates responsibility. When you are asked to remain silent about the secret of hidden acts, of another, you are lured into collusion. If people demand your loyalty, presence or participation in that which is detrimental to them, you create a detriment for yourself. When you abandon your dreams, swallow your truth, give the will of others precedence over your own, you sell yourself out. Be aware of the person who asks you “not to tell anyone” the thing they cannot keep to themselves. Be responsible to yourself and let them know.

You are talking to the wrong person.

July 22nd

It goes without saying that your friends are usually the first to discuss your personal business behind your back.
~Terry McMillan, from Mama~

If there is anything you don’t want people to know about you, don’t tell anyone. We give people too much responsibility when we entrust them with our business. Sometimes they repeat the information mindlessly; other times they use our story to make a point. We should only tell our problems to people who can help. Eighty percent of the people we talk to can’t help us; the other 20 percent really don’t care. We are quick to accuse our friends of betraying us, but do we consider how we betray ourselves? We lie to ourselves and on ourselves and then allow ourselves to believe it will not come back. It does, through the mouth and actions of someone else. In those special times when you must talk about your private affairs, ask the other person if he is willingly to keep your confidence. If he repeats it, then the responsibility is his- not for telling your business, but for not keeping his word.

I will only tell you what I want everybody to know.

Iyanla Vanzant is one of the life coaches on "Starting Over House" and I have learned so much watching that show this past year!

July 23rd

Two men in a burning house must stop to argue.
~Ashanti proverb~


It is not your duty or responsibility to change the minds of other people. The nature of their thinking is advanced or limited by their experience. In your presence, they have an opportunity to learn about you and, perhaps, to grow. Allow them to experience you as well-grounded, compassionate being who is capable of listening, learning, sharing, and growing. That is your responsibility to yourself, your life and the other person. You can be an example of the peaceful, vibrant, valuable contributor your ancestors were. Like them, you can contribute to the enlightenment of the world when you spend less time worrying about what others think and more time creating positive change.

Every experience is an opportunity to grow.

July 24th

Offensive words that come from your mouth, if repeated, can make bitter enemies.
~The Husia, translated by Dr. Maulana Karenga~

Every mouth has two lips. The high lip gives to praise, the low lip gives to gossip. When we do not guard what we say or to whom we say it, we can never be sure which lip will repeat the words, The ancient Egyptians gave warnings about the unguarded movement of the mouth. They understood the destructive potential of words on the wrong lips. We may not be familiar with those ancient teachings, but we do know the impact of low-lipped speaking. Speak highly of everyone or say nothing at all. Repeat only that which you have a duty to repeat and repeat it with a noble intent. If something you say comes back the wrong way, correct it immediately. If you quarrel with family or friends, speak to them directly. Temper your words with a consciousness of empathy. Speak the way you would want to be spoken to. Remember that your parents gave you the blessing of lips; speak to them with an attitude of gratefulness.

I have spoken truly and done it righteously.

July 25th

No investigation. NO right to speak.
~Confucius~

Very often we find ourselves involved in conversations of the “he said, she said” variety. We may not know the parties involved or we may have heard some other version of the same story from another source. The sad thing is we use this information as the basis for our opinions and interactions with the people involved. There’s an old African saying, “Ears don’t pass head,” which means we should never let what goes into our ears override good common sense. Common sense tells us we should accept people for who they are based on our individual experience with them. All to often the side of the story that is not told is the other person’s side. It is in our best interests to give everyone a fair start, regardless of what we have heard about them. We should make our own mental inventory, identify any negative experiences we have had. If there are none, we should commit ourselves to be open and deal with the people as they deal with us.

I am willing to give everyone a fresh start.

July26th

No one can judge unless you let them.
~ Swami Nada Yolanda~

Don’t “should” on other people and don’t let them “should” on you. Should is a judgment we make based on our experiences and perceptions. When we pass that on to other people, we are judging them. Should is an expression of fear. It says that our way is the right way; if you move beyond that, you might prove I am wrong. Should is the way we control others, to make them think or behave the way we want them to. Should takes us on a guilt trip and limits our capacity to grow. If we only do the things we should do we will never learn another way we could do it. Should limits us to what is comfortable. Should makes us responsible to someone other than ourselves when we know that is not the way we “should” live.

I “should” do only those things that feel right for me.

July 27th

What is the quality of your intent?
~ Thurgood Marshall~

Certain people have a way of saying things that shake us at the core. Even when the words do not seem harsh or offensive, the impact is shattering. What we could be experiencing is the intent behind the words. When we intend to do harm, it happens. What each of us come to realize is that our intent always comes through. We cannot sugarcoat the feeling in our heart of hearts. The emotion is the energy that motivates. We cannot ignore what we really what to create. We should be honest and do it the way we feel it. What we owe to ourselves and everyone around is to examine the reasons of our true intent.

My intent will be evident in the results.

I want to thank you for posting this daily. I really look forward to it. :thumbsup:

July 28th

Each time we have sex we must be innocent and open.
~ Ebun Adelona ~

Sexual intercourse is an act of profound creation. It is the meshing and weaving of the Mother/Father force of the Creator. Whatever we hold in our heart the Mother and our mind the Father, during the sexual act will be created in our lives. Sex in anger will create angry words and angry situations that must be resolved. If we are in denial about ourselves, who we are or who our mate truly is in our life, then sex will create denial in the relationship. Sex in self sacrifice will create a doormat. Whoever makes the sacrifice will be walked on. Sex in confusion creates chaos and more confusion about how and why we want sex. Unconscious sex, doing it just to be doing it, creates a violation in the subconscious mind. When we create children during misguided intercourse, the child brings to life the state of our being at the time of the act. We can heal and strengthen ourselves during our conscious sexual activity, but we must know what we are doing and why.

Sexual intercourse is a creative expression in which I fully participate.

I want to thank you for posting this daily. I really look forward to it. :thumbsup:

Your so welcome. I'm glad to know that you enjoy these daily meditations. :thumbsup: I think Iyanla Vanzant is great! She really makes you think. :idea: :yes:

July 29th

Instant intimacy is very often followed by desperate disillusion.
~ May Sarton ~

We can become so emotionally charged by a person that we allow ourselves to be intimate before we know who the person really is. When we give our bodies to another being, we are giving them a piece of our souls. We might want to take the time to find out if they deserve it. Sexual activity is not the only way to let someone know we like them. Sharing information, supporting each other’s goals, giving of out time and energy without expectations sends a much stronger message than sex. We must take time to know the other person; understand what they want, where they are going and figure out if we want to be in the same place. When we let down our hair too early in the game we are apt to end up with a messed up head.

I will choose time over intimacy.

July 30th

Everything, even darkness and silence has it’s wonders.
~ Helen Keller ~

A history of abuse and labeling has created a tremendous strain on the sexual consciousness of people of color. The ancestral memory of being labeled as animals to be studded and bred has made us fearful of our sexuality. What we must accept and learn to understand is that we can be sexual and still be spiritual. Even in the abuse in the past, people of color were capable of loving and sharing that love as a sexual expression. We prayed for our freedom and the safety of our lives, and we still made love. Although the abuses have changed, many of our fears have not. Right now, there are many people of color who become anxious, nervous and uncomfortable in conversations about sex. We do it, but we hide it. We make jokes about it in private; we tell stories about it in secret; when it comes to talking and sharing openly about sex, we shy away. Try this. Sex is wonderful. Sex is good. I like sex. Sex likes me. But don’t take my word for it; try it for yourself . . . with the light on.

I Am free to be a sexual being.

July 31st

Let them wait. And wait they do.
~ Jackee ~

All relationships are like contractual agreements. Each party expects to receive certain things. In our intimate relationships, sex is like a signature on the contract. Unfortunately, many of us sign the contract without reading the fine print. By the time we discover what kind of deal we are being offered, we are bound by our signature. Some contracts have a ninety-day grace period. This gives the parties the opportunity to examine the merchandise, test the service, make any necessary adjustments or bow out of the agreement. It makes sense to apply a grace period to our intimate relationships. We may need time to assess behavior, true intentions and the performance history of the prospects. The fine-print issues such as habits, motive and background cannot be seen with closed eyes.

I Am willing to read the fine print.

August 1st


If you eat well, you must speak well.
~ Yoruba proverb ~

When we become angry, upset or disappointed with someone, we forget the good they have done. We seem to think people must prove themselves to us again and again. If ever they fail to live up to our expectations, we are quick to voice out dismay. The ancient Africans taught that if a person is good to you, you must forever speak good of them. They believe the good always outlives the not so good. In order to keep the good flowing, you must speak of it. The ancestors taught that we must honor those who helped us when we were in need, regardless of what they do now. We must honor those who taught us even if we no longer use the lessons. We must remember with a kind word the road someone else has paved for us, no matter where or how they travel now. Everything we receive in life is food for our growth. If we eat from the plate, we must give thanks. Remembering, without that food, at that time, we may have starved.

I remember only the good that has been done.

August 2nd

Go behind the apparent circumstances of the situation and locate the love in yourself and in all others involved in the situation.
~ Mother Teresa ~

The moment we have a negative experience we get stuck in what was done and how it was done to us. We must learn not to take life so personally. People are not really out to get us. Events are not waiting to befall us. We are all moving to get to where we want to be. As a result, we will sometimes step on each others’ toes. When we find ourselves in a conflict or confrontation we must know how to love ourselves out of it. Love means recognizing fear as an operand condition that sometimes makes us do and say things we really don’t mean. Love means opening our hearts and minds to our best, regardless of what is going on. Love means not attacking but supporting, not defending but seeking clarity. Love means knowing that, in the end, we will all be okay even if it means we have to give up a little of something. Let us learn to give up anger and fear by replacing those things with love.

I Am loving you and me out of this situation.

August 3rd

Each of us is stamped with vibratory signature of our own state of consciousness.
~ Paramhansa Yogananda ~

We become very offended if someone says we don’t measure up or if they criticize our actions. We think they are picking on us because of our race, gender or because “they” have a problem. We must consider what they are actually saying before we dismiss what could be valuable criticism. Consider the things we think about ourselves: “I’m not good enough,” “I‘m not smart enough,” “I didn‘t do it right,” “So and so did it better than me,” “I need someone to tell me how good I am,” “ I hope I don’t mess up, like I did before,” If I do it like this, they will like me,” “I don’t know what I’m doing,” “I‘m not good at this,” “I can do better than this.” Life is an accurate reflection of our consciousness. People will usually say to us the very things we think to ourselves.
If we want others to speak well of us, we must first think well of ourselves. The next time someone criticizes you, think, “Where have I heard that before?”

I think positively about me and speak positively to me.

August 4th

If you love ’em in the morning with their eyes full of crust; if you love ‘em at night with their hair full of rollers, chances are, you’re in love.
~ Miles Davis ~

When was the last time you was in love? Really in love? Do you remember feeling silly? Giggling and grinning whenever you saw the object of your affection? Did you feel like skipping, running, jumping in the street? Maybe spinning around and rustling your hair? Did everyone look better, act nicer, seem beautiful because you were in love. What about playing? Didn’t you want to stay home and play with your love mate rather than go to work or school? Do you remember getting dressed up and wanting to look nice because you felt good? Did you feel as if you could do anything because you had someone at your side? What about feeling nurtured, supported, protected? How about being needed, wanted, valued? And didn’t it bring a smile to your face just to think that somebody loved you? Did it make you feel young again? Well then, why do you think children don’t know when they’re in love?

Love comes to all ages.

August 5th

I wish I woulda knowed more people. If I woulda knowed more, I woulda loved more.
~ Toni Morrison, from Beloved ~

We have an unlimited capacity to love. Actually, loving is not something we do to or for other people. It is a blessing, a gift we give to ourselves. Love opens us to endless possibilities. It increases our resources and our capacity to give. Love fine-tunes our vibrational frequency, which enables us to create. Love keeps us alive long after we have departed and gives meaning to who we are, what we do and how we do it. The only thing that limits our capacity to love are the conditions we place on loving. When love is based on what we get or how we get it, our love ability is stunted. When we love under circumstances rather than in spite of them, our love is limited. When we love what was rather that what is, we have no real ides what love is about. When we love just for the sake of it, giving who we are without excuses or apologies, taking what comes and making the best of it, we open our souls to the abundant blessings of the strongest forces of life.


Today I will pour love into everyone and into everything.

August 6th

We are each born with a limitless capacity for pleasure and enjoyment.
~ Sondra Ray ~

Relationships do not just happen. No matter how we meet our mate or who makes the introduction, we create all the relationships we experience. We each have the capacity to bring to ourselves the exact relationship we want. Unfortunately, most of us are not willing to do the work. We must begin the work by looking at the “self” and getting clear about how it feels. We cannot expect to attract a loving, generous mate if we are angry and withholding. We must stop blaming the past for our condition now. Wherever we are, what we have or don’t have is no one’s fault but our own. If by chance someone else made a contribution to the mess we were creating, forgive them the mess and move on. Finally, we must give thanks for all we have been; all we have had; all we are becoming. When we take the limits, restrictions and fears off our hearts, our cup of love will run over.

I will look at me before I look for love.

August 7th

Your mate is you mirror.

Many of us think we are lucky or blessed when we find just the right person to love. By now we know that nothing in life is an accident, including our selection of a mate. The people who come into our lives are a reflection of who we are. They reveal to us those things we cannot or refuse to see about ourselves. The very thing we don’t like about our mate is the thing we need to change. The thing we love about the other person is a hidden, undeveloped, or unrecognized asset that we have. We can only draw to us those people who are on our ray, our level of energy and development. They reflect back to us the very things we do. Most of us reject this idea. But then most of us reject criticism, too. We find it difficult to accept those things about us that others see. We do, however, feel completely justified when we criticize our mates. Here’s a question for you: How would you know what to call what you see in your mate unless you had seen it somewhere else?

I am looking in the mirror of self and making adjustments in me.

August 8th

The person who seeks to change another person in a relationship basically sets the stage for a great deal of conflict.
~ Wesley Snipes ~

Very often we go into relationships with the idea that we can make somebody better. We set their flaws or shortcomings and take it upon ourselves to help them fix what is wrong. Our task in our relationship is not to fix one another. Our job is to love what we see and support one another in doing better. Fixing is telling what is wrong, why and how to fix it. Supporting is allowing us to make our own choices, being there if things go wrong and supporting us in doing better next time. Fixing is forcing us to do it their way when our way doesn’t work. Supporting is nurturing. Fixing is anger when things get rough. Supporting is knowing things will get better. Supporting is seeing us exactly as we are. Fixing is seeing in them what we refuse to see in ourselves.

I love and support you exactly as you are.

August 9th

Only choose to marry a woman whom you would choose as a friend if she were a man.
~ Joseph Joubert ~

We often have such unrealistic expectations of our mates that it is as if we do not want them to measure up. We want them to be like, act like, behave like some idealistic model we have cooked up in our minds. The problem is that we never reveal to them what the model is. We hold them accountable and responsible to satisfy our desires, but we forget to tell them what our desires are. We must remember that our mates are people. They are not mind readers. We are asking for disappointment when we do not share with them our expectations. We complain to friends, compare them to family members; why not talk to the one person who could probably help set things right? We should talk to our mates as if they are our friends. Reveal to them those parts of us that we have hidden from the world. And if in our hearts of hearts we cannot do this, we need to ask ourselves, “Why am I with this person?”

I want more than a mate. I want a friend.

August 10th

If you know what you want, you will recognize it when you see it.
~ Bill Cosby ~

When we convince ourselves that we can’t find the right mate, we try to make the one we have into the one we want. There are two ways to do this. First, we need to see who we have and tell ourselves they are someone different. The other way is to try and fix what we have. Neither idea works. When we are not honest with ourselves about who our mate really is, we end up disillusioned and disappointed. It is not their fault, it is our own. We must be clear about what we want from a relationship whether it is social, business or intimate. Then we must make a decision to wait for exactly what we want. If who we have is not who we want, say so! It is not our job to change the other person. If we buy a pair of shoes and they do not fit, should we wear them and suffer or take them back to the store?

Who I want is important enough for me to wait for.

August 11th

Would you marry you?

We are always looking for the perfect relationship. The goal is to find that perfect someone who will make our lives a better place to be. It is unfortunate that we don’t realize perfection runs two ways. In order to find that perfect somebody, we must believe that, whatever perfect is, we have already achieved it. No one can give us what we don’t already have. Mr. or Ms. Right cannot be to us what we are not. If we are unhappy, unfulfilled, not pleased about who we are, we owe it to ourselves to stop ;looking. We have to ask ourselves: Would I marry me? Am I doing my best, giving my all, being the best I can be to myself? If not, why are we pawning ourselves off on someone else. We need to take time to do some homework on self-love, self esteem, and self-confidence. When we can pass the test of self-acceptance, the perfect someone who will compliment all that we already are will walk right through the door.

The love and harmony within me reaches out and draws my mate.

August 12th

Do not envy the oppressor, and choose none of his ways.
~ Proverbs 4:31 ~

When someone does you harm, it seems only natural that you should do the same to him, right? Wrong! You can never get even with someone who has harmed you. Any attempt to do so puts you behind the eight ball, again. Two wrongs never make a right. Nor can you right a wrong by committing another wrong. You may be able to justify your actions politically or socially, but spiritually you will be held accountable for what you do-why you do it doesn’t count. The pendulum of life swings both ways and brings rewards at both ends of the spectrum. If you use your mind, time and energy to cause harm to anyone, the pendulum will sooner or later move in your direction. If your slate is clean, when it swings toward you, you will not have to worry about being knocked down.

I settle all of my scores in the court of universal justice.

August 13th

Let go!

When we believe we are losing control, we grab on tight. If we want to avoid pain, we hold on for dear life. When we are in fear of losing, looking bad or being abandoned, we tighten our grip. When our greatest fears come upon us, we clench our fist and teeth, close our eyes and hold on. We must learn how to let go. We have the capacity to live through any adversity if we let it go. We cannot stop time or destiny. Whatever is going to happen has already happened; we must learn how to see it through to the end. When we hold on, we prolong the pain. When we dig our feet in, we must be uprooted. When the time comes for growth and change, we must have the courage and faith to let go.

Whatever leaves my life makes room for something better.

August 14th

If you cannot find peace within yourself, you will never find it anywhere else.
~ Marvin Gaye ~

Where do we get the idea that if a relationship or marriage ends, we have somehow failed? The ending of a relationship is not a sign of personal failure. Actually, it is a courageous step. It is a loving gesture. It is a responsible move. It takes courage to admit when a relationship is not working. When we are locked in a relationship that is not working, it can be very painful. We must love ourselves and our mates enough not to want them to stay in a situation that is causing pain. When we are willing to take personal responsibility and the necessary steps to free ourselves from the pain of a relationship, we are showing a willingness to grow. Looking at things from this perspective, how can we consider ourselves failures? There comes a time in every situation what difficult decisions must be made. Making the decisions may make us feel miserable; not to make them is what makes us miserable failures.

I am not a failure. I am ending a relationship.

August 15th

Rejection can be killing. It kills faster and more effectively when the victim is already lacking in some vital way.
~ Patti Austin ~

Nobody likes being rejected, but rejection does not mean there is something wrong with you. An early rejection can save you a great deal of grief later on. Then there are those time when what you have is not really what you want, but you convince yourself to settle for it anyway. Well, if the other person rejects you, you are saved from having to run away. Rejection is only damaging when you start out believing you are not complete. When you enter a relationship needy and unfulfilled, rejection can be a damaging blow. In those situations you must not shrink away feeling defeated and afraid; you must ask what is it that this person has, and why you don’t think you can’t get it anywhere else. If you understand that you can only draw to yourself what you already are, you can see rejection in another light. When you enter and relationship, you want to be and feel the best you can. If you get rejected, it might simply mean you have a little more work to do.

When I accept me no one can reject me.

August 16th

No one can see their reflection in running water. It is only still water we can see.
~ The Wisdom of the Taoists ~

Divorce or separation following a long-term relationship creates many feelings. One of the strongest is “something is wrong with me.” If your mate becomes involved with another person or gives what you consider an unacceptable reason for moving beyond the relationship, the feelings of inadequacy deppen. Why? What did I do? How could you do this to me? Somewhere in the process you lost sight of the fact that people have a right to change their minds. You may not want them to do it. You probably won’t like it when it happens. But people have a right to change their minds and it has absolutely nothing to do with you. Time marches on. People change. As people change, their needs change. When people have a need, it is their responsibility to themselves to see their needs are met. And it has absolutely nothing to do with you.

There is nothing wrong with me.

August 17th

Spend time alone in objective thought as you consider the direction of your life.
~ I Ching (The Receptive)

The entire purpose of life here on earth is for people to be free. Why then do we spend some much time acquiring things to make us comfortable and tie us down? Our possessions keep us in bondage to jobs, debts, situations and conditions. We spend precious time fighting with one another as to the right way to fight for the freedom we want. Woman want to be free. We sit idly as men control the markets, industries and services that are essential to our survival. Women complain that men oppress them, yet at the same time they believe the things men say women cannot do. Men say they want to be free. The average man spends his average day watching someone else, wondering what someone else is doing, believing someone else is waiting for an opportunity to take what he has. What’s the matter with these pictures? We will never be free as long as we need something or someone else to give it to us. Freedom is a state of mind not a tangible condition.

I surrender everything to my freedom.

August 18th

You have to love enough to let go.

There are times when loving someone means we must let them go. It is not healthy or productive to remain in a relationship that makes us happy sometimes, sad most of the time. Yet we hang on. We hang on believing that something bad will happen to the person if we let him or her go. That is our ego telling us what we want to hear. We hang on in fear that no one else will love them or us the way we want to be loved. This time the ego is telling us that we are not god enough. We hang on because we don’t know who or what may come along. We believe there is a lack or available mates. We hang on wishing, hoping, trying to make it work-afraid it will not. When a relationship is over, it is over; but the love can live on. Loving someone means you want him or her to be happy. If that person can be happy without you, love enough to let go.

I know when to let go.

August 19th

Friends borrow your books and sit wet glasses on them.
~ Edwin Robinson ~

Sometimes the people we care about the most are the people we treat badly. We don’t always mean to or want to. At times we just don’t think. Other times we do it because we know we can get away with it. We must learn to value and honor those blessings we call friends; they are few and far between. They come to share a part of life with us. How we treat them is a reflection of our thought about life. When we tax our friendship with abuse, neglect or mindless actions, we shut ourselves off from the support that makes life easier to bear. When we fail to nurture our friendships, it is a sign that we do not nurture ourselves. When we treat our friends with kindness and respect, they are obliged to do the same thing. When we hold our friendship in high regard, we learn to feel good about ourselves. When we value our friends and the relationship, they know it, and they will do their best to keep things in balance.

I will treat my friends as well as I treat myself.

August 20th

It is said that love is blind. Friendship, however, is clairvoyant.
~ Phillipe Soupault ~

A friend, a real friend, someone you love and trust, is going to tell you all the things you do not want to know about yourself. A friend tells you when you are right and helps you understand how you could be wrong. A friend will yell and scream, but when you him, he is there. A friend is someone you cannot and do not lie to. She knows your secrets and holds them in confidence. A friend never judges, yet will let you know when you are doing it “again”. A friend sees your mistakes and without covering the up, steers you in another direction. A friends pushes you, shoves you and drives you real hard. Just when you think you are about to break, he whips out the Band Aids, patches you up and starts pushing again. A friend always says things that make no sense until you hear a stranger say the same thing. A friend is someone you can look at and see yourself and know you are really going to be all right.

When I see my friend, I see myself.

August 21st

I was secure enough in my relationships with my children that I did not have to fight my mother for power.
~ Gladys Knight ~

Mothers and daughters have many hurdles to overcome. There’s the mother’s view, the daughter’s view. There’s the mother’s opinion, the daughter’s opinion. There’s the mother’s fear that she will not succeed. There’s the daughter’s fear that she will not be supported in what she wants. There’s the mother’s incessant nagging to do things the “right way”; there’s the daughter’s view that the mother’s way will not work. There are mother’s how have not grown up. There are daughter’s who have grown up too fast. Then come the grandchildren, a chance for the mother to do it again, better this time. Now there is a way for the daughter to prove that the mother’s way does not work. The mother sees herself in the daughter-there is pride and celebration. The daughter does not want to be anything like the mother-there is disappointment and embarrassment. Mothers and daughters reflect each other, they repel each other, yet in spite of it all they love each other. Sometimes they should tell each other.

I Am my mother’s daughter.

August 22nd

We survived slavery because we held onto one another. The moment we found independence, we began to commit suicide.
~ Dr. Tesehloane Keto ~

There is a metaphysical principle that says whatever we do to someone else, we actually do to ourselves. This principle supports the golden rule “do unto others.” We forget this and when we do, we create an imbalance in our own being. When we malign another person, we are talking about the self. When we deal dishonestly with someone, we are cheating the self. When we abuse, neglect or abandon another, we are doing it to the self. Why? Because we are connected by the one Creative source. This source creates a responsibility for, accountability to and dependence on one another. The moment we allow the self to believe it can do without other people we create the kind of loneliness, depression and disconnection that makes life not worth living.

I Am one with the Source. I Am one with mankind.

August 23rd

Potential means-you ain’t doing nothing now.
~ Michelle Ventiur ~

One of the greatest downfalls in our relationships is banking on the potential of someone else. We go to great lengths to understand what someone should do, could do, has the ability to do but is not doing. Very often what we see of the person prevents us from seeing that the person is doing nothing. Parents, friends and spouses have lost millions of dollars and valuable time saying, “I see the good in you.” We usually want so much for our loved ones that we forget to ask what they want for themselves. You cannot what more for someone than they want for themselves. If they want it, it is up to them to go out and get it; you should not have to drive or take them to find it. Do not be concerned with what a person could do; pay close attention, listen intently to what they are doing and saying right now.

I see you in this moment.

August 24th

Emotional independence begins with the development of inner resources.
~ Anonymous ~

We have been taught that a relationship is a fifty-fifty proposition. A more accurate view is that two incomplete people can come together and find completion. This is a false premise that has had a disastrous impact on our relationships. Each person must come into a relationship a whole, complete person who is able to handle the responsibility; willing to share in the responsibility for mutual growth. Fifty-fifty relationships usually do not work. The premise is simple: What if both parties are missing the same thing? A relationship must not be a crutch. We want to develop complimentary unions where strengths and weaknesses have support. We want to be able to stand on our own, but stand a little taller in a relationship. We want to bring an identity to the table and have it reflected to us a little brighter. In a relationship, two halves do not make a whole, and we cannot allow anyone else to take responsibility for our completion.

I am bringing 100 percent of who I Am to the love table.

August 25th

There is really a very little difference between people it is called attitude; and it makes a really big difference. The big difference is whether its positive or negative.
~ W. Clement Stone ~

People are not always out to get you, but there are times when they do. Chances are the person was close to you-best friend, relative, parents, lover, child or spouse. There’s an even better chance that you deeply loved and trusted the person. Perhaps they betrayed you. Abandoned you. Stole from you. Or failed to return the emotional commitment you made. No ,matter how traumatic the wrongdoing or end of a relationship may be, the good always out weighs the bad. If you have one bad memory, you have two positive ones. If you learned one new thing about yourself or another person, you know more than you did when you started. If you learned in this relationship what not to do in the next, you are better for it. If you learned patience, faith, trust, humility or what a truly strong and powerful person you are, you have treasures you will never lose.

The difference between me and them is I am positive.

August 26th

It is your moral duty to be happy; however, you cannot exercise this duty by clutching unrealistic beliefs, struggling with unworkable assumptions, juggling painful images, jumping to false conclusions, running with impulsive decisions or massaging hasty judgments.
~ Sufi Hazarat Inayat Khan ~

Too often we expect happiness to come as a result of our relationships rather than as a premise upon which to build one. If we truly wanted to be happy, we would not be so eager to sacrifice happiness for nonsense-jealously, possessiveness, anger, fear or any other function of the ego. Nonsense renders us downright miserable. Happiness requires that we be honest, trusting, trustworthy, respectful and mutually considerate. We cannot realize true happiness when we entertain nonsense in our hearts and minds. Individually and collectively, we must work to clear ourselves before entering a relationship. If we wait until we are in the process and wading through the nonsense, the ego will be well on the way to eroding the happiness we seek.

I will exercise my duty to be happy.

August 27th

If you want to know the end, look at the beginning.
~ African proverb ~

Wherever you are in your heart and mind at the outset of a relationship is where you will be at the end. Whatever you bring to the start of the relationship is what you will have to clean up in the end. You cannot begin a relationship in dishonesty and deceit and hope to experience an honest end. If you run into a relationship to get away from another, you will run into another one to get away from this one. If you enter a relationship in fear, anger or grief, you stand a pretty good chance of finding more of the same. If you enter a relationship in sadness, desperation and pain, guess what? You will find it again. If we want to put an end to angry, bitter and ugly separations, we must begin our relationships with the open, loving honesty we say we want. If we do not know who we are and how we feel at any time, it is best that we stay alone.

I will be better at the beginning to avoid anything worse at the end.

August 28th

Anything dead coming back hurts.
~ Toni Morrison, from Beloved ~

If you keep going in and out of the same relationship, chances are you are going to get hurt. People come together in a relationship to learn. Once you learn your lesson it is time to move on. Take you lesson from the last time and move on to something new. If you insist on drinking from the same used cup, you will eventually get sick. You can do the same old things in just so many ways until you lose track of what you are doing. How many ways can you cry? How many ways can you hurt? How many ways can you convince yourself that you can make this work? When a relationship is over, you must learn to let go. No matter how much you love the other person, or how afraid you are that you will never love again, you cannot squeeze juice from a piece of dry fruit, so don’t bother to try.

When it is over, I am on to the next thing.

I just read this entire thread.... it made me say "ahhhaa" many times and also brought me to tears. I will be buying this book TODAY! Thank you for sharing.

I just read this entire thread.... it made me say "ahhhaa" many times and also brought me to tears. I will be buying this book TODAY! Thank you for sharing.

Glad to hear you like the thread :thumbsup: Check out eBay, I'm sure you can get it realy cheap there. It only cost about $15 in the store though. Happy reading :)

August 29th

Is this love? Is this love? Is this love that I’m feeling?
~ Bob Marley ~

How do you know when you are really in love? First of all, you would not have to ask the question. Love is knowing, it is not a condition or state of mind. When you are loving, you are not doubting, judging or fearing; you are in a state of acceptance. You accept yourself first, for who and what you are, and then the person you love, without questions. You do not want to fix him, change him, control him or help him. You want for the person you love exactly what she wants for herself. When you are in love, you feel vulnerable and know that is it okay. You do not hide your feelings, change them to fix what you think the other person wants, and you do not question what you feel. When you are in love, you give, expecting nothing in return, not even love. Love is an inner process between you and yourself that you want to share with someone, everyone. Love is free. If your quest it to own, control, hold on to, protect, or take care of someone, they cannot be free and you are not in love. Love is never wrong, seldom right. It just is.

Love is in the midst of me.

August 30th

When self-respect takes its rightful place in the psyche, you will not allow yourself to be manipulated by anyone.
~ Indira Mahindra ~

Loving, wanting or being with someone else is absolutely no reason to abuse, neglect or disrespect yourself. In all of our relationships, we can only give what we have. When we have a sense of self, an honest consciousness of our needs, a clear concept of what we want , we can respect ourselves. We set the standard of how we want to be treated, it remains our responsibility to make sure that anyone and everyone who comes into our lives treats us as well or better then we treat ourselves. If we are not honest with ourselves, how can we expect others to be honest with us? If we are not nurturing and supportive of ourselves, why would we expect it from anyone else? If we do not expect and give the best to ourselves, from where do we think it will come? Our relationships can only be reflections of the relationships that we have with ourselves.

If I love, honor and respect me--you must do the same.

August 31st

You cannot throw a loved one out of your heart and mind.
~ Betsey Salunek ~

No matter what they have done to you and said to you, you cannot stop loving them. No matter how much they disappoint you, neglect you or abuse you, if you think you love them, you probably do. It does not matter what others say about them, how others feel about them or how bad you feel about them; if you love them, admit it. Do not tell yourself you don’t love somebody if you do. What you might want to do is make a choice about whether you want this person to be a part of your life. It is not necessary to stop loving people if you don’t like them. You can choose the type of relationship you want to have with the people you love. You can love them from a distance. You can love them and not live with them. You can love them in the deepest part of your being and choose to move on. You can figure out why you love them, if you love them and still choose to move on. You can love them for who they are and what they are and stop complaining.

I can choose how I want to love you.

September 1st

Everything was fine but the beans were salty.
~ Mother Jefferson ~

There are people in your life you can never please no matter what you do. There is always something wrong with you, with the world and with them. Criticism is the way adults cry. When we are in pain, nothing looks or feels good, particularly those close to us. We strike out because we cannot tune into what we are feeling. Criticism is our way of saying something is wrong with us and we see it in you. Do not take it personally when a loved one continuously criticizes. They are never upset for the reason they sat they are, and whatever it is, it is not your issue. Do not strike back when you are criticized. Remember, you are with someone who is in pain. Be gentle with them, love them, gently ask them to talk to you about what they are really feeling.

I Am all right with me.

September 2nd

When one door closes, another one opens.
~ African-American folklore ~

Many people ask, “Why can’t I find a good relationship?” Perhaps it is because they haven’t truly ended the last one. We hold onto people in our hearts and minds long after they have gone. We may hold onto anger, hurt and pain. We may be holding ideas of revenge and destruction. We hold onto romantic memories and special times using them as measuring sticks for anyone who comes along. We hold onto our hearts, protecting them from pain, our minds filled with memories and doubts. We believe our dreams are shattered and will never come true. With all of the stuff we hold unto, how can others get into our hearts? We must learn how to close the door on old relationships. We must sort through the rubbish, clear out the garbage and freshen up our hearts and minds to receive a new guest.

I Am closing the door on the past.

September 3rd

If you believe you are to blame for everything that goes wrong, you will have to stay until you fix it.
~ Zora Neale Hurston ~

Some of us, particularly women of color, set ourselves up to be martyrs. We are to blame. It is our fault. We just can’t seem to do anything right, so we don’t. We create mess after mess, crisis after crisis. This allows others to use us as doormats. Smart move! As long as we are to blame, we cannot be held responsible or accountable for what we do not accomplish. We are too bust fixing the mess, figuring out what to do, or if we should do anything at all. As long as we have something or someone to fix, we cannot fix ourselves. We will never fix the fear of our power. We will never fix the fear of our beauty. We cannot fix our pain or confusion or desperate feelings of isolation. We don’t have to face our fears or try to fix them; after all, it’s our fault we are like this. And as long as we are to blame, we will never have to face the thought that others must share in the responsibility of getting things done.

The only thing I will fix today is me.

September 4th

It doesn’t matter what road you take, hill you climb, or path you ‘re on, you will always end up in the same place, learning.
~ Ralph Stevenson ~

There is nothing more devastating to the human psyche than what we call a broken heart. He done me wrong! She out me out! He cheated! She lied! I can’t eat! I can’t sleep! I see her face! I hear his voice! Please let him call! I’ve got to see her! Wait! Hold it! Hearts don’t break! We love with our heads, not with our hearts. We develop an idea of what a relationship should be, how our mate should behave and what we want to feel in the process. If things do not go the way we planned, our hearts are broken. There is a secret to this love thing-we must learn how to love honestly with no preconceived notions. Loving honestly means being who we are, accepting our mates for who they are; demanding nothing in return for our love. Under these conditions, if things do not go well, it has nothing to do with our hearts; it’s our poor choices that have caught up with us. The only thing we can do about our broken heart is fix our head.

My heart is unbreakable.

September 5th

The only way to have peace in a relationship is to know how to butter your own bread.
~ Ra-Ha ~

If you are in a relationship that causes you imbalance and anguish, get out. If you are in a relationship that does not support you or lowers your energy, leave it alone. If you are in a relationship where you give more than you get, where what you give is not respected, where the security you seek is costing you peace of mind, you’ve got nothing else to lose-so leave. We come together in relationships to grow, not to live in misery. Our relationships should be sustaining, energizing and growth-supporting. When they are not, our growth is stunted, our energy is depleted and our personality is distorted. A solid, loving, supportive relationship is like a shot of life. It is a source of inspiration, it provides a spark of motivation to encourage you onto the highest evolution of your selfhood. If you are in a relationship in which you are happy sometimes, sad most of the time, struggling to figure our what to do, and how to make it last, you are out of place.

I know when to quit.

September 6th

Make all your relationships an “eight” or better.
~ John Salunek ~

On a scale where one is low and ten is high, we want to live as close to ten as possible. We want to give and get the best in our relationships. Whether it is a friendship, love affair or business relationship, we must not allow mediocrity to be the standard. When we have no standards our lives become so crowded with people, demands and unrealized expectations that we run the risk of losing ourselves. An “eight” relationship is one where there is mutual support and respect. We can be who we are and know we are accepted on that basis. There are common goals; even when we disagree on method, we can support the intent. In an “eight” relationship we give for the joy of giving. We share for mutual growth. We give and get complete honesty. We take what we need and do not fail to give back. An “eight” relationship is one that we do not work on. It is one we work with and for, striving for better as a mutual benefit. “One” means you don’t have it. “Six” is just making it. An “ eight” means you are definitely on the way to the top.

There is no reason I must settle for less.

September 7th

Vulnerability is the gift I give to those I trust when I trust myself.
~ Terry Kellogg and Marvel Harrison ~

Just because people are nice to us and don’t ask anything in return, does not mean there is something wrong with them. It is often hard for us to believe people can like us simply for who we are. Benny, a White man, was willing to give Frank, a Black man, a kidney. Frank wouldn’t accept it. He had known Benny for three short weeks. Frank knew very little about Benny. But he knew Benny must have a hidden agenda. Nobody gives a kidney away for nothing. Frank confronted Benny with his anger, suspicion and fear. Quietly Benny replied, “I know you like to go fishing. I know you are a good father and a loving husband. I know because that’s what you‘ve shown me. Based on what I’ve seen, I know you don’t deserve to die.” Frank accepted the kidney. Benny moved to Arizona and never saw Frank again.

Blessings come in all colors. I get the one I deserve.

September 8th

Love creates an “us” without destroying the “me”.
~ Leo Passacaglia ~

Love really is about people coming together to support each other. All the little tricks and games they play to get their needs met are just that, tricks and games. It would be so much simpler if we honored ourselves and trusted our partners enough to ask for what we need. Instead, we wait for them to figure it out; if they don’t , we hold them responsible. What a cruel trick! When we let our partners know up front what we need, we have a greater chance of having the need met. We must know that our needs are important. Whether it’s hugs and kisses, foot rubs, reassurance or Hershey syrup and whipped cream, our needs do matter. Once we let our partners know what we need, we must accept their honest answer as to whether or not they can meet those needs. If they cannot, we must then decide if these are the people we want in our lives.

I honor my needs by letting my mate know what they are.

September 9th

Loving someone and pleasing someone are two different things.
~ Jerry Jampolski ~

The mother knew that her teenage son was involved with some unsavory people and affairs. She remained silent when he started wearing expensive clothes. She turned her head when he flashed the money. She drew the line when she found the bloody clothes and the gun in the basement. The next morning she called the police and had her only son arrested. When the social worker asked her how she felt about what she had done, she replied, “ It is a lot easier for me to visit him every week in prison than it would be for me to take one trip to the cemetery.” In all of our relationships there comes a time when we must do what we know is right. If we love someone, we want the best for them. It may not make them happy; it probably won’t be easy; but loving someone does not mean allowing them to hurt themselves. It certainly doesn’t mean you must allow them to hurt you.

In loving you I will not lose myself.

September 10th

Consider those whom you call your enemies and figure out what they should call you.
~ Dwayne Dyer ~

You cannot choose sides in a round world. You are either in it, a part of it, or you are off. When you have enemies you are a part of the very things you accuse them of. An enemy opposes your interests or position. An enemy is hostile, unkind or unfriendly. And what are you doing while all of this is going on? If you consider them your enemy how can they approach you to get things clear? You are in the middle of what stands between you and your enemy. It is not what they have done or said, can do or might do; it is you. It is your thoughts, your judgments, your fear, your condemnation, and if you did not feel guilty you could not attack those you call your enemy. You believe the enemy is wrong, not to be trusted, unworthy of love; you prepare yourself for the defense, projecting onto the enemy the very things you do yourself. When you have an enemy, look at your own hatred; understand how the hostility disturbs you and ask yourself, do I really want to attack the very thing I fear?

The only enemies I have are the ones I attack.

September 11th

For a love to grow through the test of everyday living, one must respect that zone of privacy where one retires to relate to the inside instead of the outside.
~ Kahlil Gibran ~

Everybody needs a little time and space where they can go to be alone. What this is called is a relationship is “the danger zone.” We all need those few little things that we have for ourselves. It could be a thing, place, an activity or something we cannot share. What this can look like in a relationship is “ what is mine is theirs.” Everyone has that special thing that they just love to do. What this feels like in a relationship is “I’m going out without you.” If you want your relationship to grow and flourish and your loved one to remain living and kind, give them the time, space and opportunity to go and make contact with their own minds.

Today I will let you be with yourself.

September 12th


When the law an eye for an eye operates, all the people will end up blind.
~ Bishop Desmond Tutu ~

You simply cannot pay anyone back for something they did to you. Look for the lesson and move on. If one man treats you badly, rejects you, abandons you, abuses or disrespects you , you cannot hold all men accountable. Look for the lesson and move on. If your ex-wife took your money, lied to you, neglected your children and your home, it does not mean no woman can be trusted. Look for the lesson and move on. If some White people are racists; some Black people thieves; some intellectual people condescending; some uneducated people lazy; some light people uppity some dark people ignorant; it does not give you the right or the authority to treat all people who look the same or act the same any way you choose, based on your past experiences. Ask yourself, What can I learn from this situation? What can I do this time that I did not do before? If there is nothing, simply move on.

I am doing the best I can right now.

September 13th

Women of color have been led to believe that they must be everything to everyone. As a result, we do not know how to ask for support when we need or want it. We become angry with others when they are not there for us, but we must realize people cannot, will not and do not know how to help if we do not know how to ask . Take sixty seconds for yourself and ask yourself what you need. If it is assistance with a project, a shoulder to cry on, a special something you need or want for yourself, let other people support you. We make judgments about what people can or will do and we move on our assumptions. We never really know what a person is willing to do or capable of doing until we need it. When we don’t ask for what we need, the need keeps getting bigger.

If I need support today I will ask for it.

September 14th

If you can find someone you can really talk to, it can help you grow in so many ways.
~ Stephanie Mills~

We all need the time, space and opportunity to vent our anger, frustration or dissatisfaction with the world. Unfortunately, those closest to us bear the brunt of our emotions when we do not release them. If loved ones take their frustration out on us, we must try not to take it personally; and never, never tell them they don’t really feel that way. We must learn to honor others’ feelings and support them in expressing how they feel. If they say things to us that are painful or angry, we must separate what is truth and what is unreal. Parents must find a way to express their feelings without taking it out on the children. If we are tired, we should say so. If we are angry, we should take a walk before we go home. If we allow ourselves to say what we really feel, when we feel it, and try listening and not responding , we would probably have a lot less to fight about. When we express what we feel the moment we feel it, it won’t get mixed in everything else.

Today I will talk about what I feel.

September 15th

God is my source and my supply, not my husband.
~ Bridgette Rouson ~

There is only one power and one presence operating in our lives. That is the power of the Creative Source. It operates through our consciousness. It draws to us and provides for us in response to how we think. If we are not aware of the power operating in us, through us and for us, we hold our mate responsible to provide the things we want and need. The Source gives all that we deserve based on our conscious awareness of its presence. If we pressure our mates to give us things, it means we are out of touch. The Source provides our food, clothing and shelter. It provides us with work; it fulfills our needs. The Source may work through things and people, but the source is the substance of all things. If we have a mate who is not giving, sharing or providing us with the things we need, we must ask ourselves, What am I thinking about in terms of where and from whom I get my sustenance?

God, the omnipresent, provides my every need.

September 16th

Coming together is a beginning; keeping together is a process; working together is success.
~ Henry Ford ~

Whether in business or personal relationships, what makes working together so difficult is the individual need to be right and to have things your way. As long as we have a position to hold on to we cannot come together or work together. If we are not willing to bend, we will somehow get in the way. We must get clear about what we are doing, why we are doing it and who we are working with. Only with an honest examination of our motives and intent can we surrender to any working or loving process. If we enter any collective agreement for only personal goals and with mental garbage, the stability of the group is jeopardized by our dishonest foundation. If we come together in honesty, work together in clarity, we can stay together with respect and meet any goal successfully.

I respect myself enough to respect the working process.

September 17th

Most people enjoy the inferiority of their friends, real friends don’t notice it.
~ Norman Douglas ~

Many people of color believe it is their responsibility to stay in relationships, communities and situations to prove they are true blue. Nothing could be further from the truth! We owe it to our dreams to place ourselves in an environment that provides and supports the things we want. We have a right to peace, prosperity and success, even when it means we leave the “hood.” Does this mean you think the ‘hood is bad? NO, it simply means the ‘hood is not where you choose to be. Growth requires that we move on. Movement does not mean rejection. It means we want to broaden our scope. To move beyond those things and people who are familiar to us does not mean we are leaving them behind. It means we are clearing a path for them to follow, if they choose to.

New friends are silver, old friends are gold.

September 18th

A friend is a person who dislikes the same people you do.
~ Anonymous ~

Don’t hang out with people who are where you don’t want to be. Your friends and the environment reflect what you really feel about yourself. Winners hang out with winners. Losers hang out with losers. When you are on the move, you need people and an environment that supports and encourages your dream. You won’t find that among people who are helpless and hopeless. You won’t find support for your goals among people who whine and complain. You must know and believe that there are people waiting for you in the places you want to be. They will nurture, support and encourage you to keep moving. People you know may not always support your growth. For you to move on means you leave them behind. It also means that you prove what they claim to be impossible is definitely possible.

I surround myself with people and things that are good for me.

September 19th

When you are kind to someone in trouble, you hope they’ll remember and be kind to someone else. And, it’ll become like wildfire.

~ Whoopi Goldberg ~

For some reason which was never fully explained, Robert despised Rhonda. He told anyone who would listen how rotten, no good and downright dislikeable she was. He made a campaign of it. He wrote letters. He made telephone calls. When he saw Rhonda, he smiles and said, “Hello.” Robert died, suddenly, unexpectedly and penniless. There were many things that needed to be done. No one stepped forward to help, except Rhonda. She made the arrangements, spent the money and took care of Robert’s affairs as best she could. Robert will never be able to say, “Thank you.” He’s not in a position to say, “I’m sorry. I was wrong about you.” He will never be able to pay her the money or compensate her for her time. But when Rhonda had a family emergency and needed a car to travel across two states, someone she hardly knew said, “Here, take my car.”

When I help you, I help me.

September 20th

When you are not happy with yourself, you cannot be happy with others.
~ Daryl Mitchell ~

Everyone comes into our lives to mirror back to us some part of ourselves we cannot or will not see. They show us the parts we need to work on or let go of. They reveal to us the things we do and the effects we have on ourselves and others. They say to us openly the things we say to ourselves silently. They reveal to us the fear, doubts, weaknesses and character flaws we know we have but refuse to address or acknowledge. We can usually see the faults of others very clearly. We all have people in our lives who anger and annoy us, who rub us the wrong way. They may create confusion or chaos. They may bring pain and disruption. They may reject us, abandon us and create some sort of harm. Before we get busy trying to fix the person or remedy the situation, we should ask ourselves, Why is this person in my life? How do I do what they do, and how can I release this need? When we cleanse, heal and bring ourselves into balance, everyone in our lives will do the same or disappear.

My relationships are a true reflection of me.

September 21st

Your children are not your children.
~ Kahlil Gibran ~

Take time today to remember that your children also have a heavenly Mother and Father who are as concerned about them as you. You are the channel used to bring the child into life, but you are not the only force guiding that life. We can become so preoccupied with what we “should have” done that we forget how much we are doing. We can be so absorbed with what is “wrong” with our children that we miss what is right. The fear over their or our failure prohibits our giving them what they need to succeed. Today, focus on the goodness that exists in children! There are things they do well and things they will learn to do better. Know that you cannot fix your children and you cannot plan their lives. What you can do is guide, support, nurture and love them, with all you have, in the best way you can. Once you’ve done that, know that the heavenly Mother and heavenly Father want as much if not more for them than you do.

I surrender my children to the divine force that moves in, through and for them.

September 22nd

Some kids do what you say. Some kids do what you say not to do. But all kids do what you do.
~ Unknown ~

A thirteen year old was sent to the cleaners. She was told to go straight there; she did. But she did not come straight home. On the trip home from the cleaners, she became involved in an egg fight. More than half a dozen eggs ended up on a $300 suit. She took the suit home, rolled it up, put it in a plastic bag and hid it in the closet. Three days later when she was asked about the suit, she started crying and produced the bag with the festering suit from the closet. The child is still alive with all of her limbs intact. The parent took a deep breath and reminded herself; There are times when I do not follow instructions; I do not always admit my mistakes and I try to cover them up. When I am put on the spot, I cry. Whenever I am confronted with something I’ve done wrong, I usually don’t lie. If we really want to understand why our children behave the way they do, we must take a long, hard, honest look at ourselves.

When I see my children I see myself.

September 23rd

It doesn’t have to glitter to be gold.
~Arthur Ashe ~

They always want. They always need. They gave you that first gray hair. They eat too much. They sleep too much. They have a loving relationship with dirt. They break the good dishes. They never wash the glasses clean. They really know how to embarrassed you in public. They talk too loud. They walk to slow. They rarely do what you ask, the way you want it done. They go away. They come back with friends and dirty laundry. They worry you. They frighten you. They always want to question you. They love you. They hate you. They always have a great use for your money. They grow up. They get better. They get older. They get worse. Now just think how empty the world would be if we didn’t have our children to love.

I really do love my children.

September 24th

Children are God in work clothing.

It is hard for our children to tell us what they really feel. They don’t want to hurt us. They don’t want to be disrespectful. They may not believe what they think and feel is valuable. As parents, it is sometimes hard for us to let them be who they really are--people, with thoughts, feelings and dreams. We want to protect them. We want to give them the best. We must consider whether the things we want for them are the things they want for themselves. What we fear for them they may not fear for themselves. Our children have a right to choose to search, explore and decide, and they have the stamina it takes to fall on their faces and get up again.

Today I will do more than listen, I will hear my children.

September 25th

Think wrongly if you please, but in all cases think for yourself.
~ Louisa May Alcott ~

One of the many things that drive parents crazy about their children is that children like to think for themselves. Parents do not like that. Most of the time, parents do not understand why children believe as they do; they may also feel threatened when the children do not see things the right way--that is, the parents’ way. Parents have experience; they believe children do not. Parents know the dangers and traps in life; children seem not to care. Parents believe that if children are left to their own devices, they will destroy themselves. Parents need to realize the difference between discipline and thinking, disobedience and thinking, disrespect and thinking. Children are just people living through a smaller body. They must learn to express themselves, to understand who they are and grow into who they are through their own thoughts. Just because your children do not think as you do doesn’t mean they are wrong.

Ideas are children of the mind. My children have children.

September 26th

When you say “I love you” you are actually saying you have awakened a place in me where I am love.
~ John Rogers ~

Deep within our being is a place of peace, joy and knowing. It is a place called love. We are not taught to live from that place for ourselves. We are taught to shower it on others. We do for others what we will not do for ourselves. We give to others what we think we do not deserve. We turn to others for the very feeling that comes from self. We are love from the core of our being. It is the energy by which we were born. We breathe love. We see love. We have our being in love. Why cant we learn to love ourselves the same way we love others? If we can live from our being of love, we can’t help but attract more of what we are. Love is what we are. When we know that and live through it, we can live “in love” with ourselves.

I Am love.

September 27th

A relationship is placing one’s heart and soul in the hands of another while taking charge of another in one’s soul and heart.
~ Kahlil Gibran ~

When we enter a relationship we don’t often think or see beyond the physical being. We are attracted to the body, face or personality. We may like what the person does or how they do it and want to be a part of that. We may even experience a pull from within that we can’t actually explain. But how often do we stop to consider the true depth of the person we are attracted to? There is a being us who has a past, present and future. There is flesh and bones, hurts and scars, feelings, thoughts and ideals. When we enter the world of another being we must be willing to be a part of it all. When someone entrusts their heart to you they are giving you a piece of their soul. You cannot treat a soul casually. You must protect, nurture and handle it with care. Our interactions with one another go far beyond the face, body and hair. One other thing we must consider when we enter someone’s heart, there is a heart and soul inside of us which they will play a part.

I respect the heart, mind and soul of my friends and lovers.

September 28th

Experience is a good teacher but she runs up big bills.
~ Minna Antrim ~

If life is about learning and growing, why do we think our relationships are beyond life’s classroom? Every relationship--family, friendship, love and marriage--is about growth and development. There are certain skills we need. Certain strengths we must develop. Certain lessons we must learn. Our relationships provide the perfect framework for us. We come together to share, learn and grow. Once we have acquired the skill, imparted the information or learned the lesson, it is time for something else. It is time to move on. That may feel like, “You don’t have anything else to give me.” If we could move beyond the emotion of it and look for the growth, ending a relationship would be a great deal less painful. We want to learn how to be grateful for everything we get in our relations. Somewhere beyond the grief, fear, pain and disappointment is a mighty lesson just waiting to be learned.

Every encounter is an experience of growth.

September 29th

I will fear no evil: for thou art with me . . .
~ Psalm 23:4

No matter what is happening in your relationships, fear nothing and no one. When you walk with the consciousness of the Creator, there is nothing to fear. Do not fear that people will harm you or leave you. Do not fear people will threaten you. Do not fear obstacles that confront you. Have no fear of harm to your body or possessions, you are walking with the strong arm of the law. Do not fear disapproval. Do not fear criticism. Do not fear judgment. Know that the only energy that has any power in your life is the gift of breath from God. Do not fear places. Do not fear darkness. Do not fear separation or divorce. Do not fear being alone. Do not fear being cast aside. When you walk with the Master, you are in the best company available.

I shall not fear.

September 30th

Those who don’t know how to weep with their whole heart, don’t know how to laugh either.
~ Golda Meir ~

When we lose a loved one to death or end a long term relationship, it is perfectly normal to grieve. We must honor and recognize each stage of the grief and every emotion we have. There will be shock, denial, anger, confusion, fear, helplessness, numbness, and eventually, acceptance. There will be a point when we do not know what to do, but we want to do something. At that point we must understand and accept, there is no death; there is no end; there is only transformation. Our loved one now exists in a new time, new place, new reality--and so do we. The relationship as we knew it has been transformed from the physical to the spiritual, from marriage to separation , from love ship to friendship; it has not ended; it has changed. when we allow ourselves to grieve, we release the negative thoughts and emotions that make it easier to accept the change. When we do not grieve, we get stuck. Grief is natural, normal and to be expected. We owe it to ourselves and the memory of the relationship to grieve and cleanse our soul.

I will take the time to grieve and prepare myself for the change.

October 1st

Success law #107: Put your butt on the line.

If there is something you want to be, have or do in this life, there is only one way to find out if you can have it. Put your but on the line! All the things you want to have; places you want to go; things you want to experience; are eagerly awaiting you. It’s up to you to go for it. Put your butt on the line! Say what you need to say. Do what you need to do. Ask for what you want, exactly the way you want it. Don’t take no for an answer. Put your butt on the line! All you get is what you give, so give it all you‘ve got. Put your butt on the line! If your satisfied, but still hungry for something out there, somewhere, go for it! Put your butt on the line for what you believe in. Put your butt on the line for what you stand for. Put your butt on the line just to prove to yourself you can do it. Think of it this way, the worse that can happen is that you will end up right where you started, with your butt on the line.

Faith will save my butt when it’s on the line.

October 2nd

Give thanks!

We have so much in life to be thankful for. We walk, talk, see, hear, think and breathe--usually without effort. Why do we spend so much time dwelling on what we can’t do, don’t have and what is going wrong? We can instantly recall the negative experiences, people and circumstances without recognizing we have the ability to walk way, get away or make a change. Perhaps we have too many options from which to choose. Or it could be we simply like to complain. Maybe if we spend just a little time saying “thank you” for what we do have, we won’t have so much time to dwell on what we lack. Gratitude, praise and thanksgiving activate the divine laws of abundance. When the universe can see we are conscious of and grateful for what we have, it is activated to shower us with more. Even when it seems that the well is drying up, we can affirm, “I can hardly wait to see the good that will come out of this.”

My cup runneth over always.

October 3rd

It is the Father’s good pleasure to give you the kingdom
~ Luke 12:32 ~

It is time you realized you were born to be successful and to have wealth. You are not only ensured material wealth, but abundant wealth of the mind, body and spirit as well. You have been created in an image of perfection, with an inborn knowledge of all you need to know. In the image of the Creator, it is only right for you to have the abundance of the kingdom. You are a king’s kid! Born into royalty! You should not live in lack or state of desperation and need. It is the Creator’s will for you to live richly. It is your duty to claim what is yours. The riches of the kingdom, the wealth of the world, the infinite supply of the universe is your inheritance. Graciously accept it right now!

I have inherited an abundance of every good thing. Thank you.