Do you feel that their is an importantce in raising you child with the beliefs of both parents and letting your child map out their own identity when they get older.. As well do you feel that is important for you children to know all of their heritage?

My family is mixed with many different cultures .. For one my mom and her sisters are muslim.. I was thought the muslim prayer as a child by my grandma who raised me from 3to 6.. she died when i was 6 and i have always said that prayer for its a way of keeping something she thought me and keep her close to my heart.. I have been baptized but its just something i do .. even though i have felt a great backlash from those who know i do it .. ANYWAYZ.... My husband who is also baptist feels as though our child should know all parts of both our families and since i do pray in muslim that i should teach her asl long as i teach her his values as well.. As long as its 50/50 each way then he is happy and so am i ..

Jillian

Compromise is the key. This isn't even necessarily racial or cultural differences either. It can be environmental. That is our toughest when it comes to values- I value education and he, well, it's not the priority because it wasn't a priority to his parents. We've compromised on that one and it works. I believe that the children should get to know the heritage of both sides and that one is not necessarily better than another.

And, a prayer is a prayer, God, Allah, Jehovah, etc, are listening and loving to all.

I think it's very important for a child to know about whatever culture they are made up from. I'm American and my children's father is from Jamaica. They are aware of both of the cultures. They call themselves Jamarican:) Just because they live here in the United States doesn't mean that they shouldn't know about the Jamaican culture. It's a part of them and they love it.

I am glad that yall both feel that way

The poll question could be worded a little differently? If the father of my children had no good values, I'd not want to teach that to my children...

I think what your asking is, Should children be taught about both cultures if parents are of different racial/religious/cultural backgrounds?

My parents are from different racial and cultural backgrounds. They both knew very well the culture of the other and raised me with the values of both cultures. I am very grateful for that because I didn't up grow up feeling torn between two cultures or unsure about my identity but on the contrary feeling lucky to have such a rich heritage. Oh! And Jillian, your daughter is gorgeous!!!

My daughter and her husband (he's 1/2 Puerto Rican) have taught their children both cultures. My daughter has learned to write and speak Spanish and they have taught the kids. She cooks many traditional Puerto Rican dishes. They also spend at least 1 day a week speaking only Spanish at home.

I think its very important for children to learn both cultures and if involved, all languages of their heritage. And as I did with my children, my daughter is raising her kids to make their own choices.

YES, I believe that a child should get to know their cultural history. Even better if there is more than one in the household. My children are very aware of their Hawaiian heritage but function very well in the now. My 14 year old daughter wants to learn the Japanese language and culture so that she can do Japanese anime, which is a VERY competitive vocation. We aren't Japanese. I told her, GO FOR IT. It's not our cultural background, but there are some awesome things that she can learn. Besides, I'll be right there learning along with her because I've always had a curiosity about different racial/cultural backgrounds from my own.

(P.S. Sushi? YUM! Teriyaki? YUM YUM!!!)

I misunderstood the question(as Doc's Sisstated) then I change my vote to yes instead of it depends.
Yes I think the child has to know both sides and deeper into the family, for all kinds of reasons. Medical, religion, relationships, etc.
But if the other parent did not have proper values, then the answer is NO.

My ex and I exposed our children to the experiences of a variety of cultures even beyond our own. It was important to us to teach them to see people beyond race, ethnicity, religion, socio-economic status, sexual preference, etc. As a result they appreciate, respect and embrace diversity. My children are young adults now and the lessons they have learned along the way serve them well.

Patty

that will show you any culture or religion you are interested in: www.beliefnet.com.

I have always tried to teach my kids right and wrong and good an evil. It comes in every shape, form, color, male or female. It is not race or culture specific. I have what I call my seventh sense that tells me if someone is "bad". I can feel it. I had to teach the one who is autistic how to do it.
I told him if he feels butterflies in his stomach or his chest feels tight or something feels wrong to get away. It has worked for him.

My thing has been the food:)! I had a Jewish friend who invited me to celebrate Hanukuh with her and her family(love bagels and lox) and I invited her for Christmas. My other friend cooks "soul food". I lived next door to a couple from the United Arab Emirates and she told us tons about her country. She used to bring me stuff all the time to try. I used to work with a girl from Thailand and she used to bring me something for lunch everyday. She wanted me to help her with her English and I would tell her something bad:) and she would ask what that meant and I would tell her. She would blush and giggle and go, "You so bad, Nancy". I used to do the same thing to the girl from the United Arab Emirates:)! I have a Korean aunt and cousins. My kids will eat anything that doesn't get them first.

I used to live in Maine when my husband and I first got married. I have never been anywhere else that is so accepting of everyone. They absolutely don't blink an eye up there about anything. I loved their politics and town meetings. Nothing mattered there, everyone did their own thing and no one said anything about it. I never saw a more ecletic mix of people living together so harmoniously anywhere else.

I have always just accepting of everyone. I totally believe that manners is what makes the world go round smoothly. Treating our fellow man with respect. Don't be afraid to say hi to someone on the street or tell someone that you like something about them. I am a total 60's throwback. Loving everyone. I believe when it comes down to that final judgement, we are going to be judged on how we treated others. That is what it all comes to in the end.

I believe that I will eventually have Angels Children, I am white and he is from Honduras and I do want my child(ren) to speak both languages english and Spanish as well as know both cultures. I have learned alot about Angels culture and I have grown to really love and respect it. As well as other cultures I have been learning about. I would want my kids to be open minded about anything. To me, Its like I told someone before, I don't judge a book by the cover. We all have the same insides we have different skin tones, but does all that really matter when you really know, love and respect the person. I know Angel is Spanish but I look past that most of the time and forget that he is from a different country.

I TAUGHT MY CHILDREN BOTH OF THEIR CULTURES BECAUSE THATS WHO THEY ARE OF BOTH IT IS IMPORTANT FOR A CHILD GROWING UP TO KNOW THEIR HERTIAGE (BOTH) AND INSTILL IN THEM THE VALUES AND MORALES SO THEY CAN GROW UP TO BE MORALLY HEALTHY AND LEAD PRODUCTIVE LIVES. GIVE THEM THE BEST OF BOTH WORLDS!

I am white and my other half is mexican. My four year old son knows both heritages. We teach him TOGETHER the different cultures, traditions, etc. I think it's very important not to be partial to one side more than the other and to help them realize this is just a small glance at how culturally eclectic our world is. He seems to like it so far, he gets to celebrate my American holidays as well as the spanish holidays...double whammy. About the muslim heritage directly, my mother is muslim and out of respect for her, when I speak to her on the phone I always say salam ale kum (Not sure if I spelled it right) I don't see anything wrong w/that either. Staying open minded is the key.

yes i teach my son both sides because he is both and that is what i feel is the best thing to do

I teach my kids the values of both cultures unless it is against females, they are independent minded, i dont want them to be forced into an arranged marriage..others: we celebrate the holidays, eat indian food etc.

We are a great big mix. I am white and so is my daughter. I have an adopted son who is 1/2 black, 1/2 Portugese. He is older than my daughter and used to tell her she wasn't white. I think she believed him for a long time! :) She still doesn't get the whole racial issues thing. It causes her problems everytime she has goes into a different school- like from grade school to middle school, then to high school. She has many friends black and white and Asian and Latino. The kids who don't know her don't get it. They think she is "fronting." Really, she just looks at people as people.

My husband is black and he has a black son and a 1/2 black, 1/2 white daughter. His daughter calls herself a "brown girl." We have tried to teach all of the kids to respect all cultures and races. We have celebrated Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Christmas, Easter, Passover. You name it- we have studied it and celebrated it with any friends we have who celebrated it too.

The funny thing is I come from this really uptight family who never mixed with other races until I came along, so it can't all be blamed on how you are raised. I just didn't buy into it. It never made sense to me.

My fiance is 100% Puerto rican all my kids are white. But he likes to teach the kids spanish they write and talk to him in spanish and im beginning not to like it i have no idea what there saying!!!

Jennoonie--my daughters do that too!! They love the fact that they can talk about me with their dad and I am clueless as to what is going on!!!
I have taught my daughters all of their cultures--their dad is puerto rican and I am sicilian and russian---they need to proud of who they are and where their families came from. The speak spanish and italian---no russian yet, but I do so they are out of luck when I talk about them with my mom!!

For me being 1/2 irish, and 1/2 black and being pagan, and being bi sexual and having family who are mexican. Well my kids will know a whole lot about everything I suppose! I don't have a husband or fiancee but Im with the whole teach them everything really. I don't feel my kids have to be pagans if they choose to be buddhists someday I would definately support them. since i live in a mixed family we don't really have any specific culture, and I don't even know Spanish. <sigh> But Im still learning spanish, some italian, and some gaelic. I hope to also learn french, and japanese and whatever else I can. Im a diverse person so I guess my mate would be too, and so then I suppose my children would be. I dunno.

My ex and I exposed our children to the experiences of a variety of cultures even beyond our own. It was important to us to teach them to see people beyond race, ethnicity, religion, socio-economic status, sexual preference, etc. As a result they appreciate, respect and embrace diversity. My children are young adults now and the lessons they have learned along the way serve them well.

Patty

Very well said! I agree 100% and do (by myself) exactly what you and your ex did for your children. I feel its best that they know beyond our own cultures so that they have a better understanding!

My fiance is 100% Puerto rican all my kids are white. But he likes to teach the kids spanish they write and talk to him in spanish and im beginning not to like it i have no idea what there saying!!!

I think you need to learn it also .. have the kids teach you and then suprise him one day.. lol

I am white and have dated a few black men. My children are also white, but I do teach them that people are people. Most of their friends are black, most of my friends are black. Our movie collection involves, A Long Walk Home, Sounder and many more, my cd collection involves nothing but old school R&B and R&B. My kids and my self see people who have a problem with this as shallow and arrogant!

We teach her both, he's puerto rican and im italian. So we're always eating good dinners!! He speaks spanish all the time, and i'm slowly picking up on it-very slowly. But I'm amazed at how my 2 year old daughter has picked up so much spanish! I think she knows more than me

I wanted to comment on raising biracial children. I had my daughter and then her father and I broke up and I am now with Twon, who is locked up. He does not get out until possibly 2010. SO I am basically raising her on my own, and I am white. her father is black. I do not hang with too many people, and a majority of them are white. Actually right now all of them are white. I had so many friends before my daughter and I just quit all of them because they were not what I wanted to ba around anymore, on top of that, her father and I were together so I HAD to! But now she is around my dads side of the family and my father all the time and a few friends. How do I raise her "the other half"? i Know that will happen when she starts school. And the playgroups that she belongs to are majority white kids. I do not want to deny her that half though. I am sure it will be ok when Twon gets out but that is a long time!
C:\Documents and Settings\Compaq_Owner\My Documents\My Pictures\SHORTY.jpg

I am white. My husband is black. My son in law is Mexican. My grandson is black/white. My granddaughter is Mexican/white. My younger daughter is black/white. My younger daughter and I talk about being black and white or brown. She is proud of being both but identifies more with her black side and traits. My granddaughter is 1 and her father speaks to her only in Spanish. My daughter speaks to her in only English. I treasure and love every one of them.

Oh, my oldest daughter is white (married to the Mexican and has my grandchildren) I also have a black daughter and two sons my

had before we married

thats a good question?
Id have to say yes. a child needs to know where they came from, and if you have made a child out of 2 differance cultures. then it would be best to show both.

i am italian and white (with some irish) my son's father is black, my son i think is very well adjusted, he says he is brown....my fiance' is black - his two daughters are black - my son really doesn't see things in color - more as people i have made sure to assimilate him into both cultures -

I believe both cultures should be taught. I have a granddaughter who is 1/2 white and 1/2 black. She looks white so my son-in-laws parents don't want to have anything to do with her. My daughter is pregnant again and they have told her if this one is white also they will have nothing to do with this one either. I don't see color. I wasn't raised that way. My daughter tries to teach her both cultures.

i have a 10 year old stepdaughter whom is african, but i try to teach her about her own culture and the culture of others, it can not harm her tolearn these things and hopefully she will grow to be as kind, caring, loving and resposible adult, she loves learning about all the different cultures

i have a 10 year old stepdaughter whom is african, but i try to teach her about her own culture and the culture of others, it can not harm her tolearn these things and hopefully she will grow to be as kind, caring, loving and resposible adult, she loves learning about all the different cultures
I agree with this 100 percent , this way she doesnt only know about her own but what others cultures do. Yes this will help her accept everyone

I try to teach my daughter about everything but its hard because I am not a part of that cultural group. I am Black, White and Mexican and my husband is Black and Cherokee. Since I am not Cherokee there is nothing that I understand wel enough to teach her, but I would like for her to know and embrace that part of herself as well. As for values and principals, my husband would stand up and die for what he believes in and that devotion, love and loyalty is something that I hope she gets from him also.

I understand what you are saying but the best thing is if you are curious about things dealing with the cheerokee part, then ask your husband. Tell him that you want to help instill that part of her heritage in her as well. This way she understands all of her background.

i teach them both cultures.. my ex has nothing to do with them..but his family do... they are planning a trip to south africa in the near future which will be an awesome experience for them...
on my side they go to greek school where they learn the greek language & culture...
& i read them books & we watch dvds , listen to music & stuff teaching them about their sth african culture & history...
i think its important that they learn about both ....

Personally I think that peoples interpretation of culture has been uniformly warped due to the lack of Truth in our education. It's a media culture out there and unless you really work and sift through all of the BS...yes even in literature.... and have a firm foundation in what you believe and what culture really is EVERYTHING IS RELATIVE..... My husband and I are very diligent in re-educating our children what our wonderful school system and society teach regarding culture and religion.

Its good that we arent allowing or teaching our children about their culture from from what the media says but from what we know , and from history.

I am 1/2 black, but look totally white. I feel ripped off.lol Anyway, my kids are jewish, black and white,German, Lebanese. I incorporate all cultures.

I am 1/2 black, but look totally white. I feel ripped off.lol Anyway, my kids are jewish, black and white,German, Lebanese. I incorporate all cultures.



aww.. and the good part about your children have different background is that it helps them learn about each other and see that even though we maybe of different culture we are still the same ..

I am Lakota, ex husband is black. I was raised on the rez, he was raised in the city. I was raised traditional, wacipi's, parents spoke our language,
My son is 27 and dau is 25. Son had some identity issues, dau adapted better. When they were 14 and 12 I took them back home to live.... then they learned ..... not only would they tell you they were part Native, they would feel it.......... We also let them go to the city for summers and boughts books about black history..... we were also in the military so there was plenty of diversity there also.

I am very proud of the fact that they know from where they came - from the Lakota people.

Like everyone else I think my son should know both sides. He is my oreo cookie :) mmm mmm good :)

Like everyone else I think my son should know both sides. He is my oreo cookie :) mmm mmm good :)


Aww is that cute ...

Please nobody hate me for this.:( I am white.BUT......I have no idea of what white culture is.I mean do we even have any of our own?The only thing I see in our race is fake judgemental people who dont care to know anything but what they already know.They dont want thier kids to expeiriance anything thats not white.OH tooo bad theres BET LOL and now even if their kids dont hang in the hood or are around black folks they they immatate them anyway.Im 32 years old I left home at 13 and my kids are mixed. I just started staying around white people in the last few months.Me and my kids have never been close to my family.So I raise them the only way i know how WITH MUCH LOVE. dont spell good sorry

Please nobody hate me for this.:( I am white.BUT......I have no idea of what white culture is.I mean do we even have any of our own?The only thing I see in our race is fake judgemental people who dont care to know anything but what they already know.They dont want thier kids to expeiriance anything thats not white.OH tooo bad theres BET LOL and now even if their kids dont hang in the hood or are around black folks they they immatate them anyway.Im 32 years old I left home at 13 and my kids are mixed. I just started staying around white people in the last few months.Me and my kids have never been close to my family.So I raise them the only way i know how WITH MUCH LOVE. dont spell good sorry

No one could hate you for anything. Love is the best way to raise any family and you are giving them the best gift of life which is your love and giving them the ability to experience different cultures aside from what they are mixed with.

I am white and my ex is mexican and even though he isn't around I still try to teach my daughter everything that I can about both of our heritages. My little girl is going to be 3 in sept and can speak english, spanish, and a good deal of sign language. My ex, his family still lives in vera cruz mexico and speaks no english at all and even though me and him are no longer together I even still call his mother, send her pics, and save little things for her just so she can keep in touch with Brandi...My biggest thing with my kid is I try to teach her that no matter the color or the tongue we are all people just the same. And my other huge thing is manners...I feel like a lot of people have lost touch with good manners...(not everyone mind you but a lot)

I'm biracial(black and white) and my parents taught us about each race differently... My dad's favorite motto was you were born a nword and you're always going to be a nword. My mom taught us to respect everyone until they don't respect you and not to look at the color of anyone as a basis on what type of person they are. She also refused to check the race box cause you can only check one and either left it blank or checked other. This was never a problem throughout grade school and junior high school I attended Catholic school with the same group of kids the entire time and we were just family. But once I entered high school suddenly it became a problem that I liked heavy metal (it was the 80's) but I will say I also never knew other kids like me besides my siblings until then. And those that chose to be into rap and also were mixed didn't fare any better. So as an adult once I hit college I took on my mom's view, thus I have many diverse friends racially and sexually oriented as well, cause they all know that I look at people based upon the way they represent themselves to me not on their race or any other predescribed notions.

well I Do Teach Her Cultures She Is Afican American /mexican And I Think She Should Know Both Cultures !.

Its as i tell my daughter that you aren't anything but yourself. Your aren't a white girl mixed with west indian, or the other way around, you are just you. She knows her daddy is white and i am brown but i have always told her that in mommy eyes daddy is just daddy and vice versa

We dont have kids yet, but in the future yes we do plan on teachin both sides

When Abimael and I have children we will definitely raise them in both cultures.... We want our children to experience both of our cultures, heritage, languages, etc. I believe that it would be a disservice to our children if we tried to raise them in one culture or with one belief.

I would like to know some of you guys definition of African American Culture. Do you teach them about Africa? What about Black American Culture, is there such a thing?? Or do you just warn them about alot of things? I think that's a big part of Black American Culture.

I try to teach both sides of their cultures but it's diffucult because I am white and he is latino. I don't know all aspects of the culture. I mean I know a good bit but not the history and so forth. I can't wait for him to be able to really teach them. He would be the great one to teach because he's mexican american so he knows the white and latino side. I could probably learn a lot from him as well. We are all waiting patiently.

I would like to know some of you guys definition of African American Culture. Do you teach them about Africa? What about Black American Culture, is there such a thing?? Or do you just warn them about alot of things? I think that's a big part of Black American Culture.

I think if i would have a child whom was African american, i would explain the american culture in depth but let the child know that their roots don't just stop here in the US but it continues overseas on the continent of Africa and teach them about that as well.. This way they can see that the culture didn't necessarily start here in the US

As you all know of course my fiance is black and Im white. I don't have any kids yet. But if I had children I would let them know they are special they were blessed being black and white lol ( obviously)
I cant count how many lectures from people ive gotten about wanting to have a mixed child. Ive heard that the child would feel uncomfortable and not know whether to turn to the black or the whites. That lecture is stupid to me because for one this isnt the 40's anymore. But I do respect people's opinions but I disagree with it. I would let them know they are free to be who they want to be. I dont want anyone to pressure them to have to feel they have to "act" a certain way. Ghetto,gothic, gangsta,preppy or whatever.I would defiantly teach them about both cultures. With the help of my fiance,of course.

Yes, when we have children, they will be shown about both his Trinidadian culture and about my own Native culture.

I was adopted out of my Native culture, and only came into learning about it within the last 15 years- its not that I was denied it- more that I was never exposed to it, my Adoptive family are White Irish descendants, I knew more about St Paddy's day and Celtic stuff than I did about Sundance and Sweatlodge... Simply because my parents who raised me just didn't know and it wasn't around in the areas I was raised.

I only came to realize, as an adult how much I missed growing up White and not Native- My guy was raised in the Trini' culture.
there is now way I would let my children miss out on their Heitage the way I did, and I know my culture is important to him, so I am pretty confident he feels the same.:o

Its good that there is so much who want to give their children the full experience of both cultures. ITs as i was saying that even though its two people of the same race , its doesn't always mean your background is the same.by doing this it shows our children that life has so much more meaning that the average .. ya know

My response to this question was "yes" I'd teach my children the values of both cultures and religion. Between the two, religion is the one area that I give a higher importance than anything.

In my previous marriage, we (my ex and I) decided we would raise both children as Catholics with exposure to both our cultural heritage (he is Jamaican and I am from Guam). We didn't make any issues regarding racial differences or even skin color differences because it just didn't seem important to us. Our daughters were raised outside of the US (in Europe) where (in my opinion skin color wasn't an issue as much as it seems to be in America). As for religious upbringing, I was raised Catholic and we chose to give them this religious foundation. So in a nutshell no problems between he and I in how these two girls were going to be educated, guided and nutured spiritually. During our divorce, we agreed to continue on the same religious path/foundation we had established for the girls. Fast forward today, change occurs for me. I wasn't spiritually fed in the Catholic faith. So I took a three year break....didn't lose faith in God just chose to step away from "organized religion" which only proved to me that I was more in need of a life with a religous foundation than one without. A girlfriend who invited me to attend her Christian Church truly helped me with this realization. After a year, she encouraged me to accept Christianty, which I resisted. Finally, I decided to focus on why I had this reservation and starting exploring other religions. I started with Islam, I immediately knew unconditionally this religion was right for me. For those unfamiliar with Islam, it is more than just a religion, it is a way of life than covers every facet of your existence here on earth. So with vigor, I embraced Islam and made changes to my lifestyle and worked on those areas of my being that I know needed to be changed. For my daughters, my decision to change my religion was a choice I made for myself. Unlike infants, they have developed thier own opinion and can communicate what they desire for themselves. As for thier father, he remains open to me exposing them to Islam, however he is resistant in supporting me fully in my desire to formally educate the girls in my religion/deen (way of life). Part of his resistance comes with doubt and having no knowledge of Islam. The other part comes with fear they will embrace Islam thereby leaving him empty on the one thing that has kept us together--a similar spiritual foundation that come from a Christian faith. As for the lifestyle and exterior changes, as a Muslim convert in America, there's a stigma and fear associated with Islam. For my immediate circle (family and close friends) I could chose to do anything and know that even in thier confusion/fear, they will support/honor my decision (which they have done so far).

So for my response to this question, my answer remains "yes." Earlier someone stated that she would them the best of both cultures and give them morals and values towards living a healthy life as adults." Bottom line, this is what I want for my children. My mother's advice is to consider children to be like little birds, give them everything they need so when they leave your nest, they can fly. This is what I try and encourage every mother to do. Do the best of what you can do so that when they are faced with a issue as an adult, they have that urge (feeling) to drop down and seek mercy/guidance from Allah (God). We can instill into our children a moral code steering them on what is right/wrong to do...we can give them from our example that memory pop into thier brain of when they saw the results of what/how you handled a situation, we can form a bond and relationship that they have that instinctive pull that brings them home for parental guidance orhelp. But of all the things possible, I would want most for them to have faith (spiritual strength) because without this one thing...nothing else provides the immediate comfort to focus rationally on how to deal with life on life's terms.

I know for me its very important to have my son raised up in both of our cultures or traditions, I want him to know who he is! Im a catholic italain woman ..So I feel my son should be exposed to our culture as well as his black baspist famliy! they both have so much to offer him! I respect them both as a whole..even 4myself I have learned alot..I want him to know everythinq there is and be expericend and firmilar with each side

I feel it is important to teach a child about their cultural backgrounds...but I also try to include other cultures as well. For example, I speak a little Korean (from when I was stationed there), and a some Spanish (moreso than Korean), and my daughter has picked up the things I do remember. I wish I spoke both fluently. Anyways...I do encourage the learning of other cultures.

It saddens me a bit when I meet someone who has family from elsewhare, yet they do not know their native language. I have a Puerto Rican friend, and I speak more Spanish than he does, to his son. I'm part Irish and German...and I wish I would've learned German and Gaelic growing up....but, no one in my family speak those languages any more. A few years back, I was reading a National Geographic magazine and it was talking about the number of languages in the world, and how each day a different language dies out. :(

Damian has an interest in other cultures (and I think he speaks more Spanish than I do...lol) as well. He is biracial and has had problems with it his identity growing up because his father's side of the family were kinda distant. We don't want that for any future children we have together.

Yes when we have children we will be teaching them both cultures and traditions. I'm Black and he is Puerto Rican, this is something that is very important to both of us. We feel all children should know where they came from and once they are old enough they can decide which traditions they wish to follow (hopefully both) but they will be raised following both.