Hi everybody! :wave: I'm so glad we finally have a forum for us & our relationships. Somewhere we can talk about the problems we may face as interracial couples in the prison system.:thumbsup: I think this forum will be a great asset for PTO...and for us!

A little about myself (in case you don't already know). I'm 23 years old & I'm currently unemployed and living with my parents :rolleyes: I will be moving here very shortly to mine & Kevin's place but, until then...I'm having to suck it up and live with being here. (LOL) I went to college studying the EMS field and absolutely LOVED it!! Helping people has always been a passion of mine and that line of work allows me to do just that. I have been in IR relationships all my "life" (ever since my dating years anyway). My parents had a BIG problem with this...and they were *sure* I was doing it to be rebellish...which, wasn't the case at all. I wasn't dating outside my race because they disapproved...I just couldn't make them understand that I couldn't help who I was attracted too...ya know? They have come around ALOT in the last couple of years...Kevin is the only man I've ever been with that they accept. Where is the irony in that?? LOL
My experiences with being in an IR relationship & him being in prison has been like a roller coaster ride. When he was locked up before...a guard made a comment to Kevin that basically said "You may date white girls where you are from but, we don't allow that" Ummm, excuse me..."allow" what?? I didn't know that we had to have permission to fall in love!! :confused: This go around...it hasn't been as bad. Sure, we have encountered our share of issues...but, nothing *too* serious. We've got "the looks"...the comments...the guards at visit paying REAL close attention to us (we were the only IR couple on our visit day at one of the facilities)...just stuff like that...annoying of course...but, not horrific. In my wildest imagination...I can't see why society looks at us & our relationships any different...we are all human and we fell in love...simple as that. Kevin treats me better than anybody I've ever been with...and I know he loves me with all his heart, mind, body, & soul...& honestly...that's all I *need* to know! :D

I'll stop my rambling now...and step off the soap box...feel free to step on up & share your intro/story!! Can't wait to read them!!!

(((huggs)))
Sel

Let me start when I was about 5. I saw my first black boy when I went to kindergarten. My mom tells me she knew I would end up with a black man because I came home that day and asked her that I liked his color and wanted her to make me that color. Of course she explained she couldn't. Well at christmas and birthdays, I always asked for the darker baby dolls. I even have some still. I remember telling my mom that is the color I want my kids to be. Now when my friends were liking Bo off of Dukes of hazzard, I wanted Luke. Same with Riptide ( I am not sure if any of you remember that show) but I wanted the dark haired one. Same for Miami Vice, and every other show that My friends wanted the blonde hair, blue eyed one in. I always wanted the darker hair and darker eyes. Now when I started dating, my white boyfriends were never really white. They were tanner skin with dark eyes. I never really caught on until right after high school when I started working in a prodominatly black neighborhood and with black men. I started having real bad crushes and you know as they say "once you go black, you never go back" :D . I finally realized that it was the color I was wanting.

Where I live, close to Houston, Texas, it is every where. At first it seemed I was the only one. Now that is definitely not the case. I get more compliments about how beautiful my children are from all walks of life. I even had an elderly white lady share me her story about how she was in love with a "colored" man (that should tell you about how old she was ;) ) but it was "forbidden" back in those days. She said she never has loved again the same way. She looked at my boys and said told me that she respected me for following my heart and only wished she had the courage to do so back then. It my me realized how blessed I am to live in the times now or I should would have been in a lot of trouble back then since it was "forbidden". I am one of those stubborn types who is very strong and opinionated and does what makes me happy. Needless to say, I am very happy.

When I got pregnant with my first son, my dad freaked out because he works in a very racial place. Well he had bad thoughts about my son before he was born and said that I should have considered his thoughts. But I didn't. When my son was born, he was very ill. He was placed on life support at the age of 3 mths for 1 1/2 wks and then by the grace of God, he survived. Now during this time, my dad's job respects my father and they had came to love my son. They gathered all kinds of toys and donations (my son was in Hermann's Children's Hospital over Christmas) and brought them to the hospital. I have never seen so many racial people brought to an understanding about how society is changing. They love my childern and spoil them rotten. Even the most racial man of them all visited my son and broke down with tears and said that he will never think another bad thought against another race. That was huge for him. He is so good to my kids to this day. My children are my father's pride and joy and he takes them everywhere and shows them off. Oh the power of a innocent child. How they can change someone is amazing.

It may seem like a struggle but as long as you show the world that you are not wrong because you love another who is not like you, you will be happy. Stand tall and proud and never let them see you faulter. When they stare and make comments, just smile and say "Hi". It kills them when you do that.

Just a little note, my mom shared aomething with me about how she too had been in loved with a black man, the day I told her I was pregnant with my oldest son. That made our bond so strong. Like mother, like daugher. I guess you could say it was in my genes. :D ( sorry this is so long)

Hello everybody! :D

I'm slowly but surely making friends on here so some of you guys may already know my story. I am 31 years old white gurl, live in Dallas, Texas, and happen to be married to the sexiest brotha I have ever met. I love my daddy! Anyway I have struggled through racism and ignorance. I am just like the rest of you and was brought up in a very racist town...but luckily I have made it past that. :thumbsup: So I wish the rest of you that is strugglin' with it the best of luck.

LMFAO @ VS! OMG we have so much in common! And to think that we thought it was the men in white in our lives!

When I was three, my mom's best friend was black, and her son used to sit next to me at church, he was three too...and I would sit there and rub his head. I loved the way his hair felt. And then when I was the same age, my best friend was the guy that carried our groceries out. He was black too. He used to tell me I had the prettiest eyes, and that someday I would be a heart breaker. And then OMG Michael Jackson's Thriller came out....and that sealed my life!

I just saw this new forum today! I am glad its here! I havnt really encountered any problems except for the occassional C.O. ((Can I say she was Black??)) who had a problem with black men and white women being together ((Us)).

Hey guys,

Well, Im glad that there is finally a forum like this one. Im married to a black man too, and we have 2 BEAUTIFUL babies. We have been married for 5 years, and we have been together for 7. Believe me, we have been through hell and back dealing with the race issue, but all of my family has accepted him, and I really dont care about anyone else. His family has always accepted me.

Well, this is a very interesting forum. I'm white married to a Hispanic man. Our oldest son is the first person of color to walk through my parent's doors ever. (he's now 10) My family has been very supportive of my children and they tolerated my dating way back when. The biggest problem was when I dated a guy for a year that didn't speak English. Made for some very interesting trips home. :eek: (explain to someone why there are no jalapeno peppers for a 30 mile radius)

In the world, well, I've had racism come at us from both sides. When we lived up north, my kids weren't Mexican enough for the Hispanics to help or like us and my kids weren't white enough for the white people. Our oldest spoke only Spanish until he was almost 5 and now refuses to speak Spanish because a daycare provider back then told him it was bad. Now we live in Texas and I don't hear anything negative other than my oldest dealt with being a "white" boy for a while at school. Then the kids met his Dad and that all went away.

As for the prison world, really haven't had to many problems. He hasn't been outside in a year so I'm darker than he is. :D

That's our story.

Just wanted to welcome everyone to the new forum :) I think it is a good forum to have here on PTO!

Absolutely! Welcome to the new forum. SO glad to see you all are happy it's here :)

Stacy

Hello everyone. I see that everyone is enjoying the new forum. I hope that the server stays up long enough for me to catch up with all the posts that were made today.

I guess I should tell a little something about myself. My name is Amy and I am 27 years old. I live in a very small town in Mississippi with my parents for the moment. I am hoping to get on my feet and get out soon.

When I was about 15 years old, I found myself in one of the biggest taboos for this area...being white and dating someone black. Definitely not something I ever thought would happen. My parents fought me tooth and nail on the issue but as you can see that did absolutely no good.

By the time I graduated high school the tension was so high at home that I just moved out. I married the man that I was dating at the time and we had a child together. Shortly after she was born, her father went to prison and I divorced him.

I moved on and started dating again. I finally met the man who is now my husband. We met through his cousin who is an old classmate of mine. We hit it off immediately and so did he and my daughter. He loves her like she was his own. In fact most people think that she is his. :) We dated on and off for 3 years before finally getting married in 2002. He was picked up and sentenced just shy of our 6 month anniversary.

We haven't run into any really major issues since he has been in prison. We do get the occasional stares from other visitors. The CO's have never acted as if it bothered them any. Honestly, I rarely even think about it anymore. It takes someone to mention race (usually in a negative way) for it to even cross my mind. The way I look at it, I have the most handsome man on earth, not the most handsome black man on earth. Not only that, but he is sweet, loving and caring. I never thought I would ever find a man that would want to take on another man's child the way he has. He has done more for her than her father's side of the family combined. I love him more than life, and I am just waiting for them to send him back home to me.

I'm glad this forum is here because IRRs in prison is a very real and a very common thing, so why not have a forum for it. So common that I really can't believe the police be hating on couples at visit because they see so much of it that I believe they're just used to it. Maybe if the C.O. is new, but if she's ben working in a prison for more than a year, she should really be broken in to where they just look like two people with race playing absolutely no part. If the police gave folks ugliness on a visit, I think it may have been for something else -- a bad day, or even hating. Not hating on the racial thing but hating because the man looks good or his woman looks good or BOTH look good.

I too am glad to see this forum. And Kerri you made me laugh with your "skin is now darker than his" comment, for that is SO true isn't it!?!

My name is Lois or as my crew says, Luisa and I live in the DFW area. I met Luis 3 years ago when he applied for the foreman position for my small landscape design firm in Irving. While Luis was born in Jalisco Mexico, he was brought to the USA when he was three. The only little detail that his family didn't handle as well as they should have, was getting the ball rolling on establishing legal residency for the two oldest, Luis and his sister. Picky, picky huh! The rest of the children were born here.

And now girls, don't start smirking re: fringe company benefits as the boss, this is the FIRST and ONLY time EVER I have had any type of more than friends situation at any job. And it actually didn't even happen till 1 year after we started working together. It just happened.

We haven't had to worry as much about the IR issues as we got thrown into a tailspin last July 18th when in a matter of hours our life together as we knew it changed forever. After paying a traffic ticket in person, (stupid in hindsight) Luis and I were pulled over on a bogus traffic stop, (non working brake light) and it seems that the computer came back with an INS Hold for him. As a stupid 17 yr old, with little parental supervision (Mom died when he was 7) he did some stupid things in LA and got himself deported for violating his probation. (He kicks himself at least once a day) And try and teill a 17 yr old to just wait for 5 years in Mexico to be eligible to reapply for entrance to USA when his family, including a 1 yr old son and a daughter on the way. Right. So after, yes count them, 7 and 6 illegal reentry, Luis is now serving 4 years after which, yes you guessed it, WE ARE MOVING TO MEXICO.

His sister, Dad live here, we had his son living with us until this all happened and its rather interesting how we have hung together due to this situation. Remember Luis is the ONLY one who spoke both languages. So I am learning espanol as rapido as I can. I use software translation application, CD language course. His Dad always laughs when I call cause he can tell I am using my translation program and reading my sentences to him, but hey it works.

At first it was a little difficult for us with people questioning our relationship. In visitation it also took time for others to feel comfortable with me. I tend to stick out like a sore thumb as I am blonde, blue eyed and oh probably 16 years older than Luis. IR issues came both ways, some felt that Luis might just want me to marry him for citizenship, well sorry too late for that to be any good and he knew it long ago. And it was difficult with some of the women, including his sister at first. But I just tried to be myself, be interested in them for THEM and not because of Luis and also not try TOO hard. It's not only a different race, but also a different culture. And both must be respected.

I think the real beauty in all this horror we have been through has been the slow but steady process for me and his sister to draw closer together to be there for Luis and for each other. At his sentencing, I had to stand before the judge and tell her why I supported our common law marriage status, what I was planning for the future and my thoughts on the situation. Needless to say I was direct yet my emotions did surface and when I returned to sit with the family his sister's eyes welded up when she saw the tears streaming down my face. She probably didn't understand one word I said, but she didn't have to. She understood the emotions and feelings that stirred in me for her brother.

While I am very busy at this time of the year (landscaping) I try and continue to communicate and get together with his sister and Dad and keep in communications with his son now back in LA. I am kind of the conduit as that was Luis' role when out here.

I have no doubt has our relationship and future plans become more known to members of my family, associates and such that I will need the support of this group. But regardless of any backlash I am commtted to this man and feel proud of who he is and the man he is today. And if the USA doesn't want him, so be it. Their lose, not ours.

I really hope we can keep this forum going, cause I really know as we share our lives and experiences together, we will strengthen each other's convictions. It's nice to be a part of a group of women that fall in love with the essence of a man, not the color of his skin or the country of his birth. Love transcends all.

Lois (Luisa to some) in DFW

Welcome, everyone to this new, wonderful forum. I'm glad that it's around. Interracial relationships haven't been a problem for me because my mother's generation has many interracial couples. Sometimes we joke that we're the United Nations of Hawaii. On my mom's side she has 10 siblings besides herself. Between her generation and mine, we interact with people of Black, Samoan, Italian, Hawaiian, Caucasian descents. I've got cousins who are dark and gorgeous. I've got a half sister who is VERY Caucasian in looks. We share the same mother, but different fathers. My dad is Hawaiian, Chinese and Caucasian and her father is English and Scottish, with a daub of American Indian. Our mother is Hawaiian and Chinese.

So it was the norm for me to be involved in interracial relationships. I've dated Asian, Black, Samoan and Caucasian men as well as men of other races. I only went with local Hawaiian guys when I was younger; I chose not to do so later on because I found that I was attracted to Caucasian guys. Besides, with my family line going back to Kamehameha I, I was always afraid of dating someone who was a second cousin of an aunt, blah blah blah. My ex-husband and my Hunny Bunny are both Caucasian. I also dig on tall men, but that's not a cultural thing.

I didn't personally experience prejudice until I moved to the East Coast and experienced MAYBE a little of it. At first, people thought I was African-American or Hispanic and weren't very nice. Then when they found out I was part-Hawaiian, the guys who I interacted with thought that I was this easy peasy kind of girl that would just go to bed with ANY male that approached me (NOT). They got over that idea real fast ;)

I have friends of many different racial backgrounds. When we get together, we celebrate our differences by learning about one another. Of course, when I think of the different races, my favorite subject is FOOD: I love buffalo chips (had 'em at a powwow here), Japanese, German...I even love chitterlings (if made well!) There's not many dishes that I won't try, at least once.

To me, interracial relationships are the NORM. I don't feel that it is the color of a person's skin that makes them who they are, but what is in their heart and spirit. It doesn't matter if the couple involved are two of the same race or not. If it works, then who am I to say? I know that it works for my guy and I.

I met my husband thru a chat line (on the phone) i was on there laughing at all the ppl on there and was telling my cousin they were stupid for being on there.. Well i get a message from a man who just sounded like a dream... Technically he is the first white guy i ever dated .. i (i am west indian)always dated black guys only 1 mexican.. Well when i first met him faceto face i knew i was gonna marry him WE had sex kinda quick *well for me but guess i just knew* .. 2 wks later.. well he told me he loved me after that and i was like oh ok.. :eek: .. I just figured he got caught up in the moment.. Well anywayz bout a mth later we were married .. we now been married 3 1/2 yrs later and have a beautiful 2 yr old ..

Well, I just found this forum so I have to contribute. Actually, you all make me feel quite proud as I'm quite a bit older than all of you at 59, and seem to have been fighting prejudice all my life. You've all given me hope for the future.

My story starts many years ago when black people from the West Indies started to come to the UK after WWII. Two black boys came to the school I was at and the school bully used to try to beat them up every day at home time. I lived across the road to the school and saw it happening and I went over, hit the bully and walked the boys home. I did this every day and didn't think twice about it. The bully couldn't tell anyone he'd been subdued by a girl so we didn't have a problem after that.

I never did see colour, perhaps being a Gypsy and discriminated against even now it came naturally for me to not be racist at all. I don't know, never will but that's how it all srarted.

I had more black friends, boyfriends as well as girlfriends, than white but I put that down to the fact the whites didn't want ot know anyone who mixed with those who were a different colour.

Now I'm with a really wonderful guy I actually met through a penpal agency over here. They befriend those on Death Row who have been deserted by everyone else. They actually frown on me because they don't like their writers becoming romantically involved, but I'm so used to being the odd one out it makes no difference to me. Tony isn't on the Row anymore as he was one of those given clemency by Ryan. We consider ouselves married even though Menard haven't allowed marriages for over two years. I changed my name, legally, to Tony's when we couldn't get marry in 2003 and everyone at the prison always refers to me as his wife.

When I visit we not only have the problem of being a mixed race couple but we also have the stigma of Tony being ex-Row. There are an awful lot of staff at Menard who would like to see him die. The fact that he is innocent makes it worse but one day he will walk out of there free and I think the staff are beginning to realise that. As a whole I'm not treated too badly. I think they're getting used to the fact that not only am I going nowhere but I'm prepared to fight for his rights, too. They really don't like that but they know I won't be messed with. Mind you, other visitors, both black and white, can be a problem but we tend to just ignore them, I'm too old to be bothered by what other people think and, on some ocassions, I've actually laughed at people because I find their comments so amusing.

If any of my family object to our relationship they know better than to say anything but the ones who matter most are right behind me. All my firends are very supportive so I'm really lucky there.

Well, that's my story, in short, and I'll be looking in now I know this forum exists.

Rose

Woohoo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am glad to see this new forum here!!!!!!!!!!!! :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup: This is an excellent place to share our ups and downs as the other half/halves of an IR marriage or relationship. I, too am one that has dated strictly men of a darker shade than I am. But, thankfully it wasn't a big deal in my family!!!! :D First of all my dad was so dark that I am inclined to believe the family story about one of my great great-grannies having been black. Although my mom says she was the second wife to great great-grampa, no one really knows!!!! ;) ;) Secondly our family was mixed up from way back when, with Scot-Irish, German, French, you name it I think our family was a melting pot all its own!! (My oldest sis has actually tracked down some of our ancestry and I believe that is our primary background. ) I distinctly remember my "mexican" cousins visiting alot when I was a little girl, and when I was in junior high my oldest sis (again!) married her second hubby who just happened to be a black man. Thankfully Wayne and I haven't dealt alot with negativity toward our being together, although I won't be surprised if we're ever told to cool it with our kissing and all!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D :D :ha: :ha: :haha: :haha: :p :p OH!! He did tell me about a new boot that once she saw his picture of me made a comment about his wife being white, but he "stood" up to her and that was all there was to it. Love knows no color, is something daddy always said!!!!!!!!!!

It is so nice to find a place where you have a common thread with other people going through the same kinds of things you have and are going through...my husband is black and we have a beautiful 14 month old daughter together...we've gotten alot of stares within the predominantly white "redneck" town we live in...when my husband and i moved in together he was the only black person around ... since his incarceration we've gotten our fair share of snears and unfair treatment from the guards ... he was recently transferred to another facility...i only hope that this one is more receptive to IR couples.

Hey everyone,I dont post much but decided to post here...I like this forum. Like (e_wife) Im also from Trinidad. And this island is so cosmopolitan.I am mixed with chinese and black and a little of french creole and spanish.But mostly Chinese n Black....Since I was of the age to date i was always attracted to caucasian and spanish guys.Anway I met my current boyfriend while he was vacationing here in Trinidad and the rest is history.He is Japenese and Caucasian mixed.And well Trinidad I havent encountered and negative reactions to our dating,Ive visited his family in Texas and no problem there.Im yet to encounter negativity but I know its out there somewhere.
Love knows no boundaries we dont look at the colour of our skins but the person itself behind the skin colour...........And i love my baby!

Long story...

Sam and I met when we were 9 and 10 years old at his elementary school (We're 21 and 22 now). My mom is a teacher's aide for 4th and 5th grade. (She alternates every year) Well,that year she was teaching 4th grade and I was in the 5th grade at another school not too far away. I got out of school a little earlier so I always went to her school. Then when I "graduated" 5th grade, I was at her job for the rest of the school year so I made friends with all of her students. My mom has always made special connections with her students. They all come to her with problems and troubles. Well, Sam was one of those kids except he didn't always keep out of trouble after talking to my mom. He spent almost an equal amount of time in the classroom as he did in the principal's office. The following year, I got out of school a couple of hours earlier than her school so I went there atleast 3 out of 5 days a week. My mom had become friends with Sam's mother by now and we were over eachother's houses all the time and hanging out together. We both knew we liked eachother but didn't say a word.
Time passed and we lost contact. I then heard that he was getting into trouble so I didn't want to really get involved. I saw him one more time when I was 16 years old and he came into the pizza place I was working at with a friend. We didn't talk much then either. We lost contact again and in 2003, I was given a newspaper clipping that he had been arrested and was being sent to federal prison. I was crushed and wanted to contact him but couldn't find him. Well, I had someone with "connections" look him up for me but I didn't contact him as it had been so long. One day out of the blue, the house phone rang and it was him. My mom started bawling her eyes out and I got to talk to him too. It was so strange. To finish up, we've been keeping in constant contact for about 2 years now with letters and calls. We have grown so much together over that time it just feels so good. I've gone to visit a couple of times (7 hours away) and to just be in his arms is the best feeling in the world. Seeing his face light up smiling when he sees me is worth everything to me.

I was engaged to a lifer. He is half African-American and half Puerto Rican (some Native American mixed in there somewhere). He speaks Spanish and English. I am Caucasion (won't break down the ethnicities) with a touch of African-American and Native American (one eighth). I am learning Spanish now as well. Our engagement ended in April 2005 but we are still talking. He wants to get back together. I don't know what the future holds for us. Time will tell.

My Godson is incarcerated also. He is African-American/Puerto Rican/Native American. He is 17 years old and has a sweet baby who I am the Godmommy of.:D

I am very glad to see this forum on PTO :thumbsup:

Let me just say thank goodness, this forum is finally here. I am a white woman who has been in love with the sexiest [black] man for the last 11 years. We have 3 handsome sons. We have faced alot of racism and unfortunatly my parents don't like him. I'm just really glad this forum was included.:)

I am also glad for this forum. I am 39 yr old white woman (Irish/Italian). I take after the Irish side of my family. I got the pale skin & freckles. My fiance is 26 yrs old & black. He has very dark skin. So we kind of stick out. A lot of times we are the only IR couple at visits but the prison where he is at all the COs have been very nice. After 2 yrs of visiting on a weekly basis they all know my name and who I am there to visit. I was more worried about his family accepting me because of our age difference than because I am white. I am very close to his mother and have met some of his sistes & neices. He has a very large family 13 brothers & sisters. He is the youngest. My family only seems to have a problem with the prison issue not the race issue.

I grew up in a small white town. Now if any of you remember a show on tv called "Julia", Diane Carroll played Julia, she was a nurse, single parent & lived in a 2 family home with a single white woman & her son. Well my name is Julia so it was my favorite show. They had a Julia barbie doll and I had to have it. So when they came out with the Black Ken, my mom bought that for me. The only thing was that when no one was around I had my black Ken with my white barbie.

My fiance is the most wonderful man I have ever met. He is sweet, romantic, Kind, everything a girl could want. He is my heart.
julia

First of let me say that what drew to me to my man was not a fascination with his skincolor or hair type. What drew me in what his crazy, socially wild, funny personality. later on when I got to know him, His brilliance, writing and lyrical skills had me HOOKED. As we become one, his kisses, embraces, respect and love for me made me his forever.

He and I are very unique, we stand out in our own hood. Not because of our skin color but because of our personalities. He's a thugged out wild card and I am a hardworking, nerdy, activist type of girl. Our racial difference has never been an issue, that's what I love about New York City. There are so many kinds of people here that it's hard to be shocked. If people do have opinions about things, they usually keep to themselves...unless they have nothing else better to do LOL.

The only place where we do stand out because of racial difference is here. I don't mean that in a bad way, sisters:) . I just noticed that the majority here is White Woman/Black Man but me and my boo are the opposite.
I'm Black he's White(Italian). :D
Oh yeah we catch stares in the visiting room. Why can't people realize that underneath it all, we are all Humans and we love eachother. It's that simple.

HEY EVERYONE WELL SOME OF YOU KNOW I AM A WHITE FEMALE MY BABY IS BLACK WE HAVE THREE BEAUTIFUL BI RACIAL CHILDREN I NEVER HAD ANY RACIAL ISSUES FROM ANYONE, WITH THE LOVE GOD HAS GIVEN TO ME,MY STORY IS .... I LOVE MY MAN UNCONDITIONALY , HE IS A WONDERFUL COMPAASIONATE MAN AND WE ARE TO BE MARRIED AUGUST 23RD IM FLYING DOWN TO TEXAS TO MARRY THE MAN GOD HAS BLESSED ME WITH I WILL CONTINUE TO LOVE HIM AND STAND BY HIS SIDE THROUGH THICK AND THIN CAUSE THIS IS THE MAN THAT GOD HAS GIVEN ME TO LOVE AND TO BE LOVED BY I HAVE NEVER BEEN LOVED THE WAY HE LOVES ME AT TIMES IT IS VERY OVER WHELMING SO TO ALL OF YOU LOVE HAS NO COLOR IT COMES FROM DEEP WITHIN

Hello everyone, I have read a lot in this IRR forum. Before I get here or find this nice forum, I was in another forum where I had the change to discuss IR relationships and where I do have opened a lot topics concerning this issue. I have a mixed descent, and my boyfriend has mixed descent too and he is also black. We both live in Europe and luckily both of us are thick-skinned because the opinion, remarks or harassment of other white people doesn’t bother us. They want to drill us into the ground with their stupidity’s. The only thing we do is laughing them out in their faces. In which century we are live in? It’s the 21’th century and IR relationships must be common and acceptable for each of us, just like white goes with white and black goes with black. There is no rule written down that a white woman has to date with a white guy or a black man has to date with his own race. There is no such a thing like that and it’s not written down no where. The only problem we sometime have is when we go out many black females watch jealous and mad to him. I don’t know why but the same thing happens to me, white man watch jealous at him. It’s ridiculous because I am not white at all or look like a white female. What I want to say is, it seems some people makes always trouble about nothing.

Hello Everyone,

Your Stories have been very interesting. I found my soon to be husband (2007) through a very good friend...I am 24 now and we have been in contact since 2000...He got 10 years and in FL. we have 85% so min. 8.5 years...we struggled with trust mostly... I made a commitment to God before I met him to wait for my husband... so that seems pretty unbelieveable to him that I haven't been with another man in over 5yrs...I had a long relationship before this one that our love (if you could call it that) was based on the physical only...so I wasn't even looking for another man. boooo...:) he just kind of appeared...We Truly COMMITED Ladies don't get the benefit of the doubt and that has been a problem...trying to make him understand that I am not waiting for him to come home to have sex...but that I am waiting for my husband...he has been gone for 9years...He is the light of my life and a brillant mind...the absoulutly ONLY man who has ever stimulated my mind and not my body...I am Blessed Thanks for Listening

I'm glad that PTO saved some room for us, thank you.

I just turned 25 and on my 5 months here in the United States, im from the Philippines. My husband is black and has been well traveled all over the country but he grew up in NY. I have a degree in Psychology back home and worked as a tour guide in a marine park for almost a year before i ventured to call centers and customer service, i was a supervisor when i resigned and flew here. I always kid i can train whales, dolphines and sea lions but teach me how to train dogs cause i want to have one soon.

We just got married May 2005. I'm the first one to get married and the eldest child, even if my family objects or doesnt feel comfortable with my decisions i can be pretty stubborn and fought for my honey bunny. I am currently self employed, we're putting up our own carehome but we havent started making money yet and this whole incident regarding his arrest pulled our timetable backward. I can't drive yet and still has alot to learn.

I have no established support system here since im new in the country, im glad to find PTO.

Marj

Hey everyone . Just wanted to take a moment to welcome myself to the group! Don't really have a story. I just know what I like, sexy men! Well just one now.

My story is long and I know everyone else's I'm sure is too. but I met my Guy when I was 12 years old, he told me he was 18 so I was thinking ah man an older man well, his cousin told me that he was 12 like me, he was taller so I thought he was older. But now that I'm 35 we have 3 children together, I have seen many men of different colors and shapes but my road would always lead back to him, no matter if we were just friends we were always there for each other. He is the strongest brother I have ever met and of course the sexiest "wink". I had issues with the race thing but you know I never really cared because when I was with him nothing else mattered especially that we have 3 children together and the oldest is 19, ladies go crazy over him because he is the cutess thing walking, and I'm not just saying that because he is my son but he is. And as far as the other ones well they will follow in his footsteps no doubt..
So much has changed from then to now and I tell you that we will grow old together as we have already, we have seen each other adolescent years, teenage years and now our mid age years and I know for a fact that we will be together until we meet our maker. We taught each other so much over the years and had to experience what we had to experience but I know that this man is the one for me, simply no one has ever taken me to cloud 9 and beyond and I'm not just talking sex, I'm talking about the intellectual conversations we have to just not saying nothing at all to each other in a crowded room full of music and so forth. We basically on the same page when it comes to IR because we feel it has nothing to do with the other. If a white man, Hispanic man or even a Asian man that would of made me feel the way he does than I would be with them but that is not the case here, it’s not even about the color and I do hope people see that. There is still ignorance going on with the race thing but we will over come because it definitely is getting better, Thank God. This is what I am to my husband his supporter, his comforter, and his friend and that will never change. AMEN

My husband is White and as you can see from our pic I am black. They treat me and him okay. Jeffrey is housed with hispanic inmates and I of course go every weekend to see him. I am so in love with this man dispite the color diffreance. My mom said she always thought I would wind up with a white man for some odd reason. Anyway.... The only problem I had from prison system is that they always assume that my husband is black. :rolleyes: I get the looks in the visiting room. I get the comments from people that I am black and he is white. It is wierd you know...:cool: But I do not sweat that.

Well where do I start? I met this amazing man, who I now call my Husband, almost a year ago. Jeremy is the most amazing man that I have ever met in my life. Jeremy is bi-racial. My family was not very accepting at first but they tried to accept him, they even started to seem to like him. Then my man got locked up. At that piont it turned from seeming to be ok to a major racial thing. I asked my parents why and at first they used his crime as an issue then I reminded them that I almost had the same charge against me when I was 18. Mine got thrown out of court, but his stuck. I asked them if they would say the same thing and feel the same way about me if it would have stuck? Then they said that it was different, and I reminded them that no it wasn't. They began saying things like he was worthless, no good, and dangerous. I reminded them how they had liked him for who he was before they found out about this. They didn't seem to care. I then told them that is why I didn't say anything about it at first. I wanted them to know Jeremy for who he really was. After we exhausted that reason and they realized that I knew that they were only using that as an excuse for someting deeper, they gave up for a while. Then one day the whole racial thing came out. I couldn't take the racial comments so I finally explained very loudly and abruptly how I was not going to listen to their stupidity and there intolerance. I then reminded them that it doesn't matter who I Choose to be with as long as that person makes me happy, fulfills me, and treats me good. I was not going to leave my man, the best thing to ever happen in my life, because they didn't approve. I also reminded them that their approval was not needed. I am so in love with Jeremy (shadowmaster) that I never believed that love could feel so good. I have learned how deep feelings can go with him and I never ever imagined that something like this could really happen. I began to believe that it only happend in mushy movies. Now I know that it is reality. I am so completly in love with this wonderful man. Jeremy is the first bi-racial man that I have ever dated. I have always dated White men prior. I knew the first night that Jeremy was my soul mate and that I never wanted to let him go. I have never been happier in my life as I have been the last almost year. Jeremy is the answer to every want, need, and desire that I have ever wanted in a man. He is truly the answer to the man of my dreams. Some days I have to remind myself that I am not dreaming that he is real and that this is really my life not a dream. Jeremy and I are hopefully expecting our 2nd child. We don't know for sure yet. I wish that more people would realize that it doesn't matter what color your skin is. What matters is what is inside. It is how that other person your equal makes you feel and how you make them feel. It is who makes you happy. I know that with Jeremy I feel like I am living on cloud 9 every minute of every day. When you know that you truly love someone is when they are your reason for living and when you can't imagine life without them in it. Jermy you are my world, my sunshine, my inspiration, my strength, and my Life. I love you Jeremy!!:love: :love:

I would like to say thank you to who ever started this
I am a hispanic will be married soon to what I have found to be the best man in my life other than my father above... I met him oh about 6 yrs ago, we were co-workers and let me say when he walked through my office door I drooled all over my desk... The funny thing about him was he was a real gentlman at the time I was in a bad relationship but he made me laugh and put a smile on my face and at the place we worked no one belive in IR relationships so me taking my pride I only spoke to him about work becasue I did not want to look bad... :eek: For about a month I watched his fine A** walking around the yard and doing things, well I broke down one day and long and behold he was passing by and I see him but I was thinking about how rude I was that he would not but he did.. He came to my car in that unform that looked so good... he asked the problem and I told him I dont know I am not a mechinc if I were I would not be standing on the side of the road he just laugh and smile.. That smile D*** that smile.... He worked on the car and got it running then asked if we could have dinner okay yea I could do that to me no co-workers around mine you I am still with this pride thing.... Needless to say he was having dinner with co-worker the, now this was the place I was heading to when my car broke down.. So we went I felt reall strange at first but you know even after I acted like a B*** he was still ther making me laugh and jokeing around.... Since that day I have not yet him leave my site until he got locked up and it's been hard.... Yea we get the looks and the whisper's but he made me reliaze that as long are OUR FAMILY and the LORD then everyone one else is nothing.. Let them look, let them talk, becasue they are just JEALOUS......
So to all of you KEEP that head up :thumbsup:

Where do I start, I am a 27 year old black woman who is currently involved with a white man who is incarcerated in PA, and here is our story. David and I met 20 years ago in elementary school and we were good friends at the time. I moved and never heard or saw from him after that. Then a few months ago I received an unexpected letter in the mail. It was from David, he had gotten my contact information from a mutual friend. We began our friendship as two people who just enjoyed writing one another but after a few months we found so much more. Neither one of us have ever questioned the fact that we are in an interracial relationship and both of our families are supportive, which is what matters. Yes I've heard all the skeptics who say that it will never work once he is out but I don't feel that way. I have faith that David and I are meant to be together and I am going to follow my heart. I'm glad I found this forum and there are other couples who share in our situation. I wish the best of luck to everyone!

Hello everybody! :D

I'm slowly but surely making friends on here so some of you guys may already know my story. I am 31 years old white gurl, live in Dallas, Texas, and happen to be married to the sexiest brotha I have ever met. I love my daddy! Anyway I have struggled through racism and ignorance. I am just like the rest of you and was brought up in a very racist town...but luckily I have made it past that. :thumbsup: So I wish the rest of you that is strugglin' with it the best of luck.

Hey my name is Amber and I am new 2 this site and I am nt really sure how this all works but I read your page and thought that I would say wasup. I live in Dallas also and I am sorta married to my man and he is black. We have 2 lil girls one is 5 and one is 7months and they are beaultiful ( aren't mixed kids the cutest) anyways I have been through it all girl. My man just got transfered down to the gurney unit and things seem to be chillin down there so far except they denied his parole yesterday so I am tryin to find a way to get a challenge on that. So just wanted to intro my self and see if you could tell me bout this web site
Amber

as a white transexual i never ecert thought i would become a woman involved with a black man but would not change it for the world

My name is Vanessa, and I am in an interracial relationship with my partner in this life, Ja. He is more than just my boyfriend or the man I am going to spend the rest of my life with; he is my partner in everything in this life, from finances to constantly striving on my path to be the best person that I can be. I am White and he is Black (it bugs me for people in non Black & White relationships, when people assume "interracial relationships" means Black & White). In my opinion, love does not concern itself with skin color, only hate does. I love my man for who he is, REGARDLESS of the color of his skin and BECAUSE of the color of his skin (it has been a part of defining who he is presently, based on the path he has walked in his skin, and his part of why we are the "us" that we are). What we have transcends race in a way that a racist person could never understand, so I do not bother trying to justify or explain. If someone cannot see the unconditional pure love dripping from our eyes as we look at each other, or the way we glow just being in each other's presence, they OBVIOUSLY have their own agenda, and I have better things to spend my energy on. Luckily, being in Southern Cali, we do not have to deal with too much overt racism (although, we have had some obnoxious skinhead chicks yell stuff at us from across a small parking lot that I had to go home and explain to my obviously-White daughter who was with us... Thank goodness for THOSE blessings in the form of life lessons that someone walking in shoes the light shade of my daughter's may not have come across in their life). Problem is, like everywhere else, it is still institutionalized, especially in the "justice" system (BLAH!) to the point of being sickening.

Currently, my man's children's mother cannot HANDLE the fact that he is happy, in a productive relationship, and doing AMAZING things with his life, ESPECIALLY with a White woman and her White child. I will not judge this woman, because I have not walked a day in her shoes, and I can imagine, because of how UNHAPPY she is in her life, how hard that walk has been on her. Problem is, after 11 years of marriage with my man, she knows exactly how to push which buttons, and he ended up punching her, and here we all are, now.... He has a hearing for sentencing on January 25th, and we shall see what the repercussions of his actions are. I completely love this man, I trust him all the way down to his core, and I stand beside him 150%

I am just doing whatever I can and need to, to stay afloat emotionally and mentally, because those two areas are suffering the most in my life, which is why I got on here in the first place :) Sometimes it is hard to care about the fact that everything happens for a reason (which is something I believe), sometimes every moment teeters on unbearable, so I have problems being in my own skin, because I cannot bear to be without him. Luckily, I have strong support from my true friends, and I have found some AMAZING threads on this site, too, which are inspiring <3

I am 28, white and have been married to my husband who is black for 8 years, and we have 3 beautiful boys together, and another baby on the way.We have our share of issues, we get a lot of looks, but also alot of acceptance.My hubby is 6ft 8in, and I am very tall also, so that makes us stand out even more, but I honsetly dont think about it, it never dawns on me that we are different races, we just cant live without eachother.

As I am not new to an interracial relationship, it still feels like the rest of the world is. I am a 37 year old woman with a 28 year old husband. Now I happen to think he is the finest man to ever walk the earth, but that is just my opinion. We married 8 months after we met, which was just last July of 2005. We knew that we were meant for each other and that of course we are soulmates. My husband was locked up on October 14th and I believe my husband has discriminated against not just because he is black, but because he is 6ft3in tall and is 300 lbs. I believe he was wrongfully done by the whole system because of it. He worked in Security and was in the wrong place at the wrong time. His jerk for a boss didn't even stick up for him, didn't call to check on his "employees" family, and still has not called. Anyway, I am glad I found this site. Everyone is great. We have our first parole board date on April 13, 2008, wish us luck.

I am in my first interracial relationship. my husband is Puerto Rican & Hatian, and looks black. we get the stares in the visiting room and guards and other visitors stare at us but we just say they are looking at a beautiful couple that is very much in love.

Hi girls, I was happy to find a forum just for us. My name is Jen. I am 22 years old. I am white and my boo is half. We stated dating when we were in high school. We have been together for eight years in may. I have dealt with alot of stuff about my dating preference, but I never really say it face to face until he got locked up. I don't know if people were just scared to say anything to me when he was home or what. I believe that you love who you love end of story.

Hello everyone! My name is Anitra. I met my man through a friend I worked with. She heard I liked black men and asked me to talk to her "brother". I said sure I figured it wouldn't hurt to make another friend. First he sent me a letter and a picture introducing himself. I did the same. (I still have those letters to this day) He is in the Feds so he put me on his phone list and a few days later I got my first phone call. Back then they didn't have restrictions on the calls like only 300 minutes a month and you could call back to back. His calls are fifteen mintues I think he called me back over and over for like 3 hours. It was like we had known each other forever. That was in June of 2000. We have had our rough spots but we are still together and going strong. We have problems with my family and one of his sisters but his kids love me. I couldn't ask for a better family. This year we celebrate our 6th anniversary and next year will be celebrate him coming home after 12 long years. I can't wait! :D

Here is my story I am a 25 year old white female from Cincinnati. ( Do you guys remeber the riots). I have two very beautiuful biracial children. Stephan and I have been together off and on for da last 4 years. He is the father to my youngest son and the love of my life. We meet along time ago (or least it seems that way). He is actually a friend of my step dads. ( yeah my step dad is black too imagen that) Anyway he tried to say hello to me one day as I was coming out of the bathroom ( all of my step dads friends were at our house for a BBQ) and I ignored him.
4 years later at another BBQ at my families house we were sitting down at the table ( I was trying to get my than 3 1/2 year old to eat ) and we started talking. We hit it off but didn't tke it any further. About two months later my mom, step dad, and I went out for my 23 birthday. We ran into Stephan and a bunch of the other guys at the club and they followed us back to my mom and dads for a sort of after party. Stephan ended up staying the night ( no we didn't have sex I'm not that easy ) because he was too wasted to drive home. Before he left the next day he asked for my number and we soon started seeing each other. Now almost 4 years later we have a 3 year old son and an up coming wedding ( postponed due to the sentence he was given ).
He is the love of my life and I stand behind him 100%. We do get the stares and ugly looks but tend to just ignore them because we know as long as we are happy that is all that matters.

:) My Husband Is Black And As For The Looks We Give Them Something To Look At. We Show Them Hiw Much We Love Each Other. At Keen Mountain, Va There Are Alot Of Rednecks There. And There Is One Guard There That Does Not Care For My Husband Because I Am White. So Everytime He Is Working The Visiting Room He Come And Stands Real Close To Us So We Would Feel Uncomforable! So I Turned Around And Ask If He Wanted A Kiss To And Went Back To Show My Love To Him. So Just Ignore It It Is 2006 New World.

Im sorry ya'll, my post button got stuck

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sorry guys

I am a white female who is in an IR relationship with the love of my life. I have known him for 11 yrs we have a 10 yr old beautiful daughter together and he wants to father my 6 and 7 yr old sons. He is in an Alabama State Prison when my kids and I go to see him we get alot of looks from white and black people, vistors and gaurds. We live in Texas where it is more excepted than in Alabama, but we don't let it bother us. We just visit with our "Daddy" just like any other family. We don't care what everyone around thinks about it. We are only there for one reason. Dwight has been locked up for 10 yrs. he should be coming home next year, he and I plan to get married sometime this year, in an Alabama prison, won't they just love that. He is the best thing that has ever happened to me. My baby and I love each other very much and nothing else matters. I have waited 10 yrs. for this man. and I'm not goin to let anything or anyone stop me now!

Hi everyone
I am not new to IR relationships. This is not my first but will be my last. My baby told me months ago my search for true love was over. He became my friend first then for some time he insisted more. I was in the scared to love mode. Past relationships made me that way. I then watched "Diary of a Mad Black Woman" Shemar Moore made a statement that really stuck in my heart. "Now every man you meet is going to have to pay for what he has done" Something to that effect. It was true I was scared because of my past. Well I gave my heart to my baby and sure wasn't wrong in doing so. We met in a time of my life that I was so down. I was sick, almost died, living with a colostomy and for over a year had no relationship with any man and swore never again to love. We were friends and he was very concerned about my health. He sent a letter and card while I was having my last surgery and was anxious for me to get home to be able to talk to me to make sure I was ok. Our bond grew stronger and now he says nothing and nobody will ever tear us apart. I love him with all my heart and soul and cannot wait until he comes home next year. I visit every chance I get, write him daily and even when I realize hes just leaving a message hit 3 so I can talk with him. On visits we hold hands the whole time we together and we stay in the yard as much as possible we get some looks but all we see is the love we have for each other. It is my first time having a loved one in prison and sometimes its so hard emotionally but the contact we keep makes things so much easier. He is with me all the time and soon will be in the flesh. He is a part of everything I do and by each others sides we know we can smooth any bump life has to offer and jump any hurdles it throws at us. Take care all and have a great Tuesday.

hello my name is samantha and i am in a interracial relationship i am mexican american and my bf is african american we have been together a year but we have had so many problems my friends and family dont approve of him cause he is black and cause he is in prison they dont know anything about him and they are judging him his family loves me we get along great but its just my family that doesnt like the realtionship and we plan to get married when he gets out but i wont have any of my family there and it is so hard to deal with cause everytime i talk to my family or friends they all say to leave him and that i could find somebody better they even tell me that they hope that he goes back to prison when he gets out so we wont be together but hey they cant tell me what to do i am in love with him and i dont care what anyone says is anyone going through what i am going through ??? samantha

hello my name is samantha and i am in a interracial relationship i am mexican american and my bf is african american we have been together a year but we have had so many problems my friends and family dont approve of him cause he is black and cause he is in prison they dont know anything about him and they are judging him his family loves me we get along great but its just my family that doesnt like the realtionship and we plan to get married when he gets out but i wont have any of my family there and it is so hard to deal with cause everytime i talk to my family or friends they all say to leave him and that i could find somebody better they even tell me that they hope that he goes back to prison when he gets out so we wont be together but hey they cant tell me what to do i am in love with him and i dont care what anyone says is anyone going through what i am going through ??? samantha

hello my name is samantha and i am in a interracial relationship i am mexican american and my bf is african american we have been together a year but we have had so many problems my friends and family dont approve of him cause he is black and cause he is in prison they dont know anything about him and they are judging him his family loves me we get along great but its just my family that doesnt like the realtionship and we plan to get married when he gets out but i wont have any of my family there and it is so hard to deal with cause everytime i talk to my family or friends they all say to leave him and that i could find somebody better they even tell me that they hope that he goes back to prison when he gets out so we wont be together but hey they cant tell me what to do i am in love with him and i dont care what anyone says is anyone going through what i am going through ??? samantha

hello my name is samantha and i am in a interracial relationship i am mexican american and my bf is african american we have been together a year but we have had so many problems my friends and family dont approve of him cause he is black and cause he is in prison they dont know anything about him and they are judging him his family loves me we get along great but its just my family that doesnt like the realtionship and we plan to get married when he gets out but i wont have any of my family there and it is so hard to deal with cause everytime i talk to my family or friends they all say to leave him and that i could find somebody better they even tell me that they hope that he goes back to prison when he gets out so we wont be together but hey they cant tell me what to do i am in love with him and i dont care what anyone says is anyone going through what i am going through ??? samantha

hello my name is samantha and i am in a interracial relationship i am mexican american and my bf is african american we have been together a year but we have had so many problems my friends and family dont approve of him cause he is black and cause he is in prison they dont know anything about him and they are judging him his family loves me we get along great but its just my family that doesnt like the realtionship and we plan to get married when he gets out but i wont have any of my family there and it is so hard to deal with cause everytime i talk to my family or friends they all say to leave him and that i could find somebody better they even tell me that they hope that he goes back to prison when he gets out so we wont be together but hey they cant tell me what to do i am in love with him and i dont care what anyone says is anyone going through what i am going through ??? samantha

hi everyone....i'll try and make this short. i just found this site the other day and apparently i fall into alot of categories, lol. i met tomas on a penpal site and we are total and complete opposites physically. he is 6'5", half black and half puerto rican, grew up in the bronx. i'm 5' even and a natural blonde (aka, as white as u can get without being albino), and grew up in a small town in NH. this is why i first wrote him, just curiosity. but alot more has happened and i'm anxiously awaiting his release next year. he's in AZ and i'm in NC. i'm new to the forums here so i'm still learning how to get around....if anyone wants to drop me an email in case i can't find my way back here, lol, it's: someonesomewherenc@yahoo.com

Hello Hello!!! Im new to the forum!!! My name is Manda. Im mixed. White and Puerto Rican. My man is also mixed. Black and Cuban. I cant wait to see what our babies come out look like. The cutest babies ever! Thats what! lol.

Anywho. I've always been into interracial dating. Since I was in elementary school. I won that fight with my parents at a young age. So they werent surprised when I stuck with it all thru life. But what really shocked them was when a white guy walked into our house to take me on a date. My mom swore up and down it was for his money. lol.

But anywho. I havent really encountered any problems with it. Except from my my grandma's husband. Who I remember takin us on vacations and we would go into a store and I can almost hear him like it was yesterday, yellin "where are all my spics at?" But besides that nothing really.

I hope to make some friends, we gotta stick together, our wo/men are going thru some shit. Gotta be eachothers support system on the out. Because I know I dont have one, I only have my man. And he's in Florida, I live in Illinois... its not like I can visit him weekly. =\ :thumbsup:

hello I am new here. My Boyfriend is in El Reno fed. hes been there 6 yrs and is released 07. not much more to go!hes in on Drug charges. was looking for others who may have men in El reno.
we really dont have the Black white issue. Thankgod.

hello all I finally got my babys pic to come up under my name! wanted to show his sexy azz off..

Hi my name is Wendy i am a 20 yr old Native American Mohawk Women and dating and marrying someone of our race is very important to our culture since we are cosidered last of a dying breed.

My boyfriend Adam is Puerto Rican and Cuban and he is the first person I have dated outside of my race. I met him in my 3rd semester of college and shortly after he was arrested there was something about him that made me love him so I went to visit him and we decided that we would be together not matter what happened.

My family does not approve of my decision to stay with him while he is in jail but I continue to argue and always tell them that I love him and that they have to get use to him because he is going to be around for a long time. My family continuously make racial remarks towards him and i am starting to get annoyed with it. The only people who seem to have a problem is my family.

I hate to say this but my family did the same exact thing when I first started seening my ex husband. I am white he is black. My parents even disowned me for 2 months. After we were married and I had a baby they still continued to make racial remarks. I had to put my foot down and tell them they had a choice either love me and be apart of my family and stop this racial stuff or I would no longer be apart of their family. They would not see their grandchildren or me if it did not stop. I know a little bit about Native American cultures and I know family is everything. I am not trying to advise you in anyway. I am just saying you need to do what is best for you and your family. Good luck is my only advise.

Hello Everyone! I am new here and I wanted to introduce myself because this has been such a great place for support and encouragement. I am so tickled that there is a forum for IR relationships because I think I could learn a thing or to and how to handle some sticky or awkward situations compared to what I am doing now, maybe.:)

I have dated out of my race for as long as I can remember. To humor my family I did go ahead and try to date asian men but I couldn't find one to totally connect with me. Many are very traditional and since I don't fall under the typical stereotype, those relationships didn't even get a spark to start.

I am Asian and my man is black. He just recently sent to prison a couple of weeks ago. We live in Arizona and it isn't the most IR friendly state... This was his first IR relationship and he has a hard time still with coping with remarks, smirks, stares and all the other ignorant stuff that people tend to shoot in our direction. As for me, it still bothers me but I have learned to not react as much to the ignorance that some people hold in their heart.

It's been a bit of a bumpy road... I've had black women completely talk crazy to me or treat me like I am invisible when I am with him and he has had the same issues. For the most part, I ignore it and walk on because in my mind it seems silly to drop and defend something that shouldn't even be questioned and it's nobody's business but are own. How do the rest of you handle situations like these?

I have my days where the ignorance just gets to me, but I love my man to death so I just blow it off and keep on. My parents didn't accept this decision in my life and have been disowned pretty much and have a very estranged relationship if you can even call it that. Anyway, thats a little bit of my story.

Azalea:D

Azalea, I hope everything is going a little better for you. If you guys have a few bumps on the outside dealing with an IR Relationship that you will probably defineitly not like the readtions that you get while in the prison system. Sometimes I think it is worse in there than it is on the outside, But stay strong girl and make sure he does too. Just reach in your heat where all the love is. You guys will get through it.

My husband is Italian/Black and I am Latina. I love my husband for who he is and not the color of his skin or the long pretty hair he has....:p

welcome face2 face ..

Hey Everyone, well I'm Black, and my boyfriend is white. We met thru letters, we were penpals and first and well, I didn't expect to fall in love with him but I did. Anyway, he calls me twice a week, we write letters back and forth 4 times a week and I go visit him once a month.

I've been with James:p for about a year now, and if race was even a factor (he's white and i'm black) I doubt we would even talk. If love is truly blind she cant see anything, color, size, shape, anything, but now i'm rambling....i'm supposed to be introducing myself...LOL!!! Well my name is Preference a.k.a thesweetness, and i'm in a relationship with the most intelligent, sexy, sweetest man in the world. I don't talk to him everyday, because my phone bill would be sky-high! but when we talk it's like the world is moving a twice it's normal speed because it goes by so fast. I'm totally off-sub-ject! we are an interracial couple, and i'm used to being questioned by a few of my friends (my true friends are in i\r reationships themselves), and my family about how I can "betray" my race. But I don't see it as betraying anything, because i'm human, he's human, were all human, and in the end that's the only "race" that matters, right? as longs as i'm not sleeping with some kind of animal, all haters should keep their mouths closed! And thats whats up!

:angry: hey everybody a lil about me im a 23yr old german/white female from pa my husband a dread boy straight from ny we've been together about 4yrs, he's been locked up for about a year. were he's locked up is nothin but rednecks,kkk,hicks but anyway i've been to see him once a week since he got knocked,he's about 4hrs away, so last month when i got up there they was searchin cars so as they searched through my car dude said he found weed wich is impossible cause i dont smoke and nobody be in my car but me so i asked him to test it so he did and then quickly put it in his pocket let me add that he never showed me what he said he found, after he put tha test in his pocket he searched through my car for another 45min he then said he found another piece of weed then said oops it blew away,he ran tha dog through my car and it didnt hit on anything,i was then told my visit were terminated then to top it all off he made a comment that he's tired of these white girls comin to see n******!!!!!!!!!! wow i almost bit through my tounge tryin to not flip cause i know they would of jus takin it out on him after i left. when i look at somebody i dont see color i was raised in tha projects around all different races,i will never apoligize for who i am or how i was raised, i give much respect to anybody in an interracial relationship there will always be somebody tryin to break ya spirit but hold ya head high and like i say " you are tha only one that can make you happen,all tha strength you need is contained within" sorry this was so long i jus needed to vent sometime i feel like nobody else understands

Hey

I have just started looking at the I/R threads although I have been around PTO now for a couple of months or so.

My guy is black in SQ and I am white over here in the UK. We have been together for a little under two years and things are pretty good. To be honest I fell in love with his smile.

Hope to talk to you all a lot more as I find my way around.:D

My name is heather, and i am white and my man is black. I have been with my Fiance for 3 years now, and it has been a rollercoaster. we have a Beautiful son together, and i love both of them with all my heart, but the life we are living right now is hard. First, with the case he is going through, he is in the paper almost everyday, and when my Grandpa reads it, it makes him hate him even more, he has never liked him from the beginning, just because he is black, but now, that he is reading all this stuff about him, it gives him even more of a reason to not like him. He never even gave my boo a chance. When my grandpa found out i was pregnant, he wouldnt talk to me for the whole 9 months, he has only seen my son 2 times in the past 10 1/2 months. I dont care what anyone says, i love my man, and i'm not going to let anyone tear our love apart, i'm down for him and we ARE going to get married soon enough. I just wish that my Grandpa and anyone else who has a problem would realize that nothing they say is going to change how i feel or what i am doing to be with him. He may be facing some big time, but i dont care, i'm not going to give up on him or our love. looking at my son helps me get through each day, because i see what a beautiful thing our love has created.

I am a Korean adoptee and my parents are white and from WV. I lost my virginity to a black man my first year of college and I dated him for three years. Next I dated my current boo, who is also black, and we will have been together for four years by February 2008. My boyfriend was convicted of a sex crime in 2003 because he met an online girlfriend in person. She said she was 19 but was really 13. They never even had sex, but he is on the sex offender registry for life because we live in VA. Anyways, my parents hate him and refuse to even meet him. The funny thing though is that they do not know about the conviction. All they know is that he is black. Their own racism towards my boyfriend has made me rethink their racism towards me and just yesterday I signed a form so that my adoption agency will search for my birth parents.

I am a Native adoptee- adopted by white people.
I have only ever dated Black men.
My guy is a Trini and is more into me for my age than my race- he loves older women- so it works pretty well. lol

His family aren't too keen on him being with any woman who isn't Black-so will have to see how it goes.. If they can get over his dating a Native woman, than maybe someday they can accept me being older...

My family aren't worried about his colour, so much as if he is decent and presentable- eventually, they will accept his prison background.

Hey everyone :)
I have read through these posts and I see so much similarity in my own situation, especially with family members.
I have never been one to date another because they were a certain race; in fact I've dated meny different kinds of men because thats what straight women do, date men lol
Anyway, I'm currently in an IR relationship. I am white and he is black. My parents don't know because we've had a hypothetical discussion before and it ended up ALL BAD. I was really quite shocked at what my father had to say especially. It was something along the lines of, "I would stop loving you if you were to marry a black man." Needless to say, HURTFUL! But, I am a grown woman and I am under no moral or law obligation to honor his ridiculous wishes for my life. That doesn't stop it from hurting though, especially this time of year. I've been really struggling with it lately. Maybe because a year from now they might not be talking to me. Plus, its embarassing to have to admit this to a man I really love. And its sad that my family can't share in my happiness.
I wish all of you the best and I'm glad I found this forum. I see myself visiting on a regular basis. I'm so thankful this support is here.

Let me start off by saying I am so glad there is a website like this! Especially with an IRR forum!! I am a 23yr old black woman with a beautiful 1yr old lil boy. I live in a small town in Illinois but the drama (prison) all happens in Missouri! I am dating a wonderful white man who just makes me smile. I have dated nothing but white guys.

We actually met through my ex boyfriend, they were friends at one time. He says what made him attracted to me was the way I carried myself and the way I cared so much about other people. We started our relationship while dealing with all this drama (aka jail/prison) he has been incarcerated for most of it, but I feel as though it'll make our relationship stronger. Once he is out we plan on getting our own place together and focusing on the future! We are in love and I am proud to say I love my man with everything!!

Well I am glad this forum exists I will share more stories later on.

Me and my baby met in 1998. He is black and I am white. We both have very open minded families. Before he went to prison I can remember walking out of a movie in KC and three girls had problems with us dating. One said " Im sorry brotha, but you are too cute for a white girl" before I could say any thing Ray pulled me to him and kissed me. then he looked at the girl smiled and said I love my white princess. LOL She got mad and kept on walking. I will hold that inmy heart forever. I dont understand why people have to be like that but I guess its just life.

Rudy and I just started seeing each other, I met him when I was visiting my little brother in prison. We started writing letters and fell for each other. He is black, I'm white. I've never been more sure about anything in my life, he makes me happier than I've ever been. He is my Prince!! We've already began to experience the ignorance of some people. Guys are coming up to my brother and wanting to know what's going on between Rudy and I, even though it concerns them in NO way what so ever! Rudy was wondering if this was going to cause doubt in me, but I informed him that I am a grown woman, I can do as I please, and seeing him is what I want to do! My mom loves Rudy, she thinks he's good for me, hopefully Rudy's family will feel the same about me!

Welcome to PTO and the IRR forum, teterlynn. :wave:

I am not a prejudice person at all......But when it comes to my dating life I don't date white women. I prefer latin women. It's just me though. More power to all of you who date other nationalities. I did get a lot of greif from the mexicans because of my involvement with a mexican woman. Like they thought I had no right. Very disturbing because most of the mexicans I was locked up with had white women on their team.....But it's ok my girl waited and we are still in love and planning a family.

Well, guess I will do an intro here, tho I post in many other forums elsewhere on PTO.

I'm a 28 yo white female, and I've dated black men primarily. I remember, when I was 4 yo, my grandma babysat this 4 yo black boy named Reggie, and I had such a crush on him! LOL. I get asked frequently by white men, why that is....and I point out that I've dated other races, however it just happens those are the men I ended up being attracted to most often. Much of my family is racist...but I figure that's their loss. Actually, my ex-stepfather was VERY racist and forbid me to have any black friends (what he didn't know didn't hurt him). Anyways, my mom is now currently married to a black men (they've been together over 10 years now), and much of the family doesn't talk to her either.

My man, D, is biracial (mom is black, dad is white). Actually, I met D thru his fathe, who is also incarcerated. D's father kept telling me I should write D, and I kept procrastinating. Finally I did, not expecting anything to come of it. Well, now we're together, in love, and wanting to be married eventually.

Well, guess I will do an intro here, tho I post in many other forums elsewhere on PTO.



Welcome to IRR forum. It's nice to see you intro-ing here. :p
Hope you come around more often. :cool:

Welcome to IRR forum, joshuamale. :)

Welll fortunately for me I just found this forum and had to leave a comment. Seeing all of the people who have left comments have given me courage or confidence to tell/share my story.

My boyfriend is Hispanic (Dominican) and I'm Haitian. In the facility where he was (thank God for transfers) we would get so many stares and looks because of our racial difference. Fortunately for me i wasn't cursed with the ability to see color. I love Abimael for the person, the strong man that he is.

We met almost 4 years ago while he was in prison (through a mutual friend) and have been together ever since. He has made me a stronger and better person. At first it was hard to deal with people constantly questioning me, questioning my relationship with Abi but I've come to realize that all that truly matters is the love that we have for one another, that is something that no one can take away from us.

The amazing thing about our relationship is that instead of this, the challenges that we face, is that it has made us stronger and pulled us together. Abi will never let me stay upset or angry with the comments or stares that we get because as he says I"ts not their fault. Their parents had to raise them to be so racist and intolerant." I feel so blessed because both of our families have accepted us from the beginning, which believes me makes it so much easier.

And I've come to believe that God has smiled on me because I've found the man that was meant for me, that was designed for me by God and I can't be happier. I have the most beautiful man on this planet regardless of his or my ethnicity. He is sweet, honest, kind, caring and makes me feel like a queen. I can't wait for the day that he comes home.

Thank you for sharing your story with us, and welcome to the IRR forum. :)

I'm new here but I wanted to stop in and say hey and thanks for having a forum like this.

I grew up in Virginia and New Jersey and have always dated Black men. I dated a Hispanic man once or twice but never a white dude. Not that I wouldn't if I ever had met one I liked, but it just didn't happen that way.

N-E way, I've known my fiance for over 22 years, we met when we were 16 and fell in love. Too young to really do anything about it at the time, we grew apart but always had a connection even though we werent' together. By the Grace of God we have reconnected after all that time and have a big beautiful family of 7 children (only 1 is mine, I always like to brag LOL) and we coulnd't be happier. He got picked up on an outstanding warrant back in March and now is facing some time but it's all good cuz I ain't goin anywhere.... I love that man and he betta know it! So to answer anything about racial problems, I haven't ever really had to deal with that in my community - just with the police from time to time. Like how he got locked up, we were sitting at a red light getting ready to pick up my daughter from high school and the county cops sitting behind us decided to run my tags... for what, cuz I had a Brotha in the front seat? NO other reason comes to mind. But that's just the way it is where we live. Haven't been on any visits yet but we'll see what happens when he gets permanent placement....

It's nice to meet y'all and I hope this forum continues for a while and the friendships and advice y'all seem to provide to one another is the best thing I have found since my husband-2-bee got snatched away from us!!

~jasonzwifey~
Welcome to PTO and to the IRR forum.
Thank you for sharing your story with us. I hope you find lots of support here, as I have.
Peace & Blessings,
~GG~

Thank you GG!! It's nice to have a place to discuss issues relating to our loved ones being incarcerated. Hope you have a Blessed day and Happy Mother's day to all!!

I am a young white f and my husband is 4 yrs older then me an dhe is a bm! When we got our drug charges they were trying to get me to tell on him cause he was blk and i didnt so they are trying to give me 15 yrs but i was givin the opp. to tell on him so they could give him 50 yrs:angry: and i didnt so he got 25 they just wanted a white girl to tell on the blk m so that he got 50! I will wait for my husband to come home whenhe makes parole and we will still be the same interacial couple we were b4!!:D

Hi mkJ! Welcome to PTO and to the IRR forum. :D

Well let me start off by saying I am not new to the IRR forum. The guy I was with broke up with me 3 days after he got out of prison. But I am back!!! My name is Erin and I'm 23yrs old (black), and I am in my first MWI IRR lol. He is a 29yr old very sexy white man, who makes me smile everytime I hear his voice. He is actually my ex boyfriends neighbor in prison. My ex at one time was going to the hole and he gave his neighbor my number to tell me so he called and let me know and never heard from him again. Then a few weeks ago my ex got out and he called me to see how he was and I told him the story and we have been together ever since! CRAZY..I know, but you can't help how you feel. I believe faith brought us together.

Hi everyone,

What a great forum!

My beloved man and I met on "craigslist" when I posted an add "SWF seeking SBM for LTR." He still loves to say (while kissing me!) "I LOVE craigslist!!!!!!"

I am a caucasian woman, the grandaughter of European immigrants, who grew up in a tiny coal mining town in northeastern Pa. He is a beautiful black man born in Philadelphia. Our STORY is amazing...our LOVE even more so!

I was married to a white, college-educated professional man for 25 years, had five (beautiful) children with him, and was TOTALLY LONELY IN THAT MARRIAGE.

I was faithful to him 'til the end...and then fell in love with a black man. That was it. After our divorce, I NEVER dated a white man again.

I am unapologetically attracted to black men. And now I have one of my very own....FOREVER.

10 reasons why I prefer black men:

1) They are more attractive to me, physically. Hair, skin, facial features, body type, and oh, those mouths!

2) They are better lovers...more creative, adventurous, sensual, want sex more often...the list goes on.

3) Size matters. Need I say more?

4) Once you gain their trust, they will open up and share their feelings more readily than white men.

5) They respect women more than white men do. Many black men adore their mothers and grandmothers because they raised them and have stuck by them through the worst of times. That respect for women carries over into other relationships as well.

6) They are less arrogant and "entitled."

7) Black men love, love, LOVE my body type! Yep, you guessed it: fit and curvy with a nice, round, soft generous tush :D White men are into boney women, but black men LOVE CURVES!!!!

8) It is so interesting to be in an IR...there is so much to learn!

9) It's way past time time that our culture gets over this issue, and I want to be part of the revolution!

10) Any black man who manages to stay alive and make something of himself in this racist society of ours has had to work TEN TIMES HARDER to get there than his white counterparts....and I respect that more than words can say.

So there you have it my friends!

And when I met my beautiful man, he was EVERYTHING I dreamed, hoped and prayed for...and MORE!

hugs,

Warrior Wife

Warrior Wife,
Welcome to PTO and to the IRR forum!

Thank you...I feel like I've come "HOME" :)

hugs,

Warrior Wife