missinmybrother
04-10-2003, 05:03 PM
Well I just wanted to inroduce myself. I found this forum/site two nights ago and I soo wish my brother and I would have found it before he was sentenced. This is a wealth on information here that I think would have helped him so much prepare himself before his sentence while he was on bond. I also want to commend all of you for being so open about you and your loved one's struggle. It is very hard to acknowledge and talk about having someone close in prison as people immediately cast a shame towards you, I know you know what I mean. My brother is currently serving time for a combination of resisting arrest x3 (two seperate occasions and without a violent act directed towards the police) He was let me word it correctly "assuming a threatening posture". Anyway he is serving for that and a 3rd offense drunk driving. I make no excuses for him and feel punishment is due but I must say I do feel that he was sentenced on the harsh side. I have the upmost respect for the law but it is hard and I know here I can say that and it is understood. He went in Oct 2002 and his ERD is April 2005. I would also like to add about his offense that there was no accident or anything like that, he was pulled over. His time is soo hard on all of us, it has been the most difficult for my mom, I see the strain of pain on her face. I know you all know that facial feature that doesn't fade---an unexplained new sorrow. When my brother was arrested he ws renting a room from me and I have a 3 year old son so that has been very hard. I just don't know what to tell my son. He asks all the time "Where is J-J" and I just reply that J-J went to a different house and is going to stay there for a long time. He then asks why he left our house, even once said "I will talk in an inside vioce, mama--please tell J-J me do that and he come back to our house" I still have tears in my eyes as I remember my 3yr old saying that so now I added "J-J is helping people at his new house. "----I don't know what to say. I and my mom and sister and her kids visit my bother (they are all older and understood they had to see him through glass) I want to bring my son but he would have had to see his uncle through glass as he was at Objiway. (he is level I but he went to Obijiway which is level II because there were no Level I beds) He has recently been moved to a Level I facility in the UP (we are from Muskegon) and a gurad told me on the phone he can have contact visits with minors now. I am confused at that as I though that no-contact visits were the only type unless the child is his----maybe someone could help me on that. I just don't know how my son would ever understand the glass. I guess that is really the biggest part of my anger now. I don't understand why when my brother has never been a danger to a child why he can only see my son through glass. I am so hoping you will all tell me that in Level I he can sit in a room with my son. My brother was there the day my son was born and lived with him his first 3 years and now I just don't get how the state can override my right as a parent to be able to decide what is a "danger" to my child. As you can see I am struggling with this. Well again I am so happy to have found this website and so wish my brother would have found it before sentencing as he prepared, it would have helped so. I have to tell you he was all over the net looking for anything that would inform him of what to expect and unfortuantly didn't find this. (part of me is tempted to hang a flier in every courthouse so others if able can find comfort here and those getting ready to go can find this to help prepare and ease the mind of the scariest (the unknown) My Best To All Of You and My Respect Too. I know that incorporating a "prisoner" in your life is soo hard and expensive and I greatly admire all of you for facing that and jumping through the hoops to maintain the relationship. Again I thank you for bringing me some of the peace of mind your posts have given me.