Hi PTO Family,



It’s been a while since I last posted here on the PTO site, but I am sitting here alone and depressed at home and realizing that I am in a really bad state right now…I desperately need the love, understanding and encouragement of others like you here at PTO that can relate to what I am feeling and experiencing right now. Some of you may remember me from earlier posts I made last year, but for those of you who don’t know me or my situation, I will give you a brief history.



I was lead to and met my husband by the hand of God back in 1984. He had been incarcerated as a 20 yr. old in 1980, and so he had served 4 yrs on a Life with Parole sentence at that time. We came to not only correspond daily via letters but we soon realized that we both had a heart and devotion to God first and foremost, and this eventually lead us to share our hearts and devotion to one another, secondly. We were married in a prison chapel in Dec. of 1987. I have visited my husband every single weekend without fail since 1984 (with the exception of 3 weekends in that 21 year period due to ministry demands I had), and I have come to love, admire and respect him for the man of God that he has consistently proven to be. Our relationship has been tried and tested like no other I know of…and yet God has proven faithful in sustaining us thru all hardship, dis-appointments, pain and sorrow… often in the most miraculous of ways.



Well, today I sit here yet again in sorrow, pain and dis-appointment and in need of support and encouragement from those of you out there who can understand and relate to where I am at. My heart is so heavy…my hopes dashed yet again. My husband has now served almost 25 years on his Life with Parole sentence,…I have done 21 of those years alongside of him. He is now 45 years old and I am soon to be 48. He had his 10th or 11th parole hearing (I have lost count) in April..a little over a month ago and was again turned down for parole …this time for the longest period of time…a five year set-off until 2010! He is a first time offender, has served his time well without any disciplinaries in 25 years, has an impeccable institutional record, and a lot of family and community support. But none of this really mattered it seems. His case has always been one in which there has been a tremendous amount of “political grandstanding” done from the very beginning… even before his trial! Even today, after 25 years served, this continues to be the case. The AL District Attorney, Troy King, himself took the microphone to protest his being paroled at his last hearing…along with 3 other DA’s and the AL VOCAL representatives…The TV 12 camera crews were there for my husband’s hearing as well…even on a 25 yr old case, tho they weren’t there for others. Those opposing my husband’s release are “politically connected” and know all too well how to use the “system” to achieve their own agendas. They even made sure that they brought my husband’s hearing up on “Victim’s Rights” week…thus the use of Troy King (the Victim’s Rights spokesman) for their purposes, and He is using this case for his own political grandstanding. To make matters worse, they not only succeeded in getting my husband set off the maximum amount of time...the 5 years, but they also have stripped him of his well earned Minimum Level 2 Custody that he’s had for 18 years now, and had him shipped out of the State Cattle Ranch Honor Camp back into a major institution again… at Bibb County Correctional in Brent, AL. He did nothing wrong to invoke this action whatsoever! They now have told him that he no longer can have his level 2 Minimum security, but have changed it backwards to a level 4 Medium security level. He feels like he is going backwards in the system rather than forward,…and they have even placed a new code behind his classification…a “-R” suffix code which they told him was something “new” and meant that he would be placed on a national registry. We now have learned that what it really meant was that he is “restricted” from ever going forward again to a lower level security! Frankly, he was lied to about this. I was also appalled to learn that all of this was already decided and done PRIOR to his parole hearing. I learned that thru a “slip-up” from the Chaplain at BibbCounty Correctional who told me that my husband’s name was on their inmate receiving list for April 6th….5 days BEFORE his parole hearing of April 11th! I can only conclude that they had already made up their minds about this set-off and move before they even allowed his parole hearing! That means that the Alabama Parole Board hearings are all a farce as far as I am concerned! All my labors and hard work to have people there for his hearing to speak up for him, my diligence in securing him an adequate parole job and home plan, etc…was all in vain. This has left us both devastated and feeling so hopeless against a corrupt and unfair system that we obviously are no match for! Now, we have to go from being able to visit each Sunday in a private and “family conducive” environment, to one that is just the opposite.., like it was in the early years of his incarceration all over again. This is so hard for us after all this time!



Anyway, I apologize for the lengthy thread here, but I guess I just needed to get this off my chest and maybe just see if any of you out there can relate to what we’re facing now. God knows that I desperately need your input, support and understanding right now! I feel like a walking dead woman today….going thru the motions of living, breathing in….breathing out…while dead inside! Thanks for bearing with my “venting” here and for those of you who believe in the power of prayer, please offer some up for us if you would be so kind.



StandingByMyMan,…. STILL!!!!
Montgomery, AL

I do not know what to say...I can only offer my prayers... I do not understand sometimes, and find it hard to accept some of the actions of our legal system. They seem to have no reasons in their decisions. I will keep you and your husband in my prayers.

Kay

It's nice to see ya back around. (((huggs))) I'm so sorry that your husband was once again denied for parole...I don't understand the parole board's rhyme or reason for anything they do. Please know that we are here for you...whenever you need a shoulder to lean on...an ear to listen...even if it's just to vent about your day...we are here!!! :yes:

:grouphug:
Selena

welcome back first of all, i'm so sorry to hear such craziest...but most of all i'm sorry that he's had to leave the cattle ranch to go to bibb...i've been to the cattle ranch to visit and my husband is at bibb...huge..huge..huge..difference for both you and him...if there'es ANYTHING that i can help you guys with please feel free to ask..

dj

Is there no publicity available to you? Public airing of this in the newspapers, an ombudsman, ACLU, someone, anyone? I realize that Corrections is a law unto itself, but they still have internal rules that they may not have followed - they can be brought up short if someone files about that. In NY, it's called, I think, a 602. Means you broke your own rules and I want justice.

Hi DJ!

It's good to see you on here again! Thanks so much for your sweet reply...It means a lot to me. You're right...there's a HUGE difference between the State Cattle Ranch and Bibb County Correctional! I'm not sure I'll ever get used to those differences either! Not only are the visits of such poor "quality" but it's been hard for me to get used to only seeing him every other weekend as well. I have never missed a visit in 21 years now...and being this is the whole of our marriage...I cherish them and my time with him. I have had weekly visits for the past 21 years until now and so it's been really hard on both of us adjusting to all of this. Please pray for us both if you would. Thanks for caring!

Mary

I am so very sorry to hear this. How very difficult it is for you both and the pain that it has caused. Just know that God has a plan. Sometimes we don't understand, but there is one and it will come in his time.

Positive thoughts and prayers going out to you. I send you lots of Hope as well. Stay strong and know that we are all here for you.

Thanks Kay, Selena, & Babygirl !

I appreciate your replys and kind words so much. I am trying to "see" God's plan in all of this...tho I must admit it's a bit hard to do so right now. I would appreciate your prayers for us ..we really need them! My husband is remaining the faithful man of God that he has always been and spends 8 to 10 hours a day in the Bible, in prayer and in Bible courses there at Bibb, pouring himself out before the Lord and drawing his strength and courage from Him to make it thru all that's happened to him. He is devastated by it all, but he knows WHO to turn to, as do I. Thank you all for your prayers and your loving support! I love and appreciate your hearts!!!

Mary

Sending prayers your way. I am sorry to hear what all yall have been through. I know i am late on posting anf for that I am sorry, but do know that we are here for you always. God will reveal His plan to yall when it is time to do so, just keep foucsing on the good Lord and He will get you and him through this. Take care and God bless

My prayers are with you. I pray things start to turn around for you.May God bring you peace.

Thank you Dixie Sweetie & Denise for your kind words! I am fairing a little bit better today than I was at the time of my husband's parole denial, tho things remain the same for us. Sometimes, when it seems that for unknown reasons God has not CHANGED OUT CIRCUMSTANCES, we can only pray and ask that He will CHANGE US IN OUR CIRCUMSTANCES! That is where my husband and I are at with all of this. I have been sensing His presence in a very real way in my life and I'm finding a new sense of Courage that I know is beyond my own. Please do keep us in your prayers if you would...We both still believe in the power of Prayer...even when God's answer to ours is "WAIT"!!! God is directing me to take a stand against the injustices they have levied at my husband in his last parole hearing and I am seeking the aid of some powerful legal groups in order to do this...Please pray for God's continued direction in this regard and for successful results! Thank you!!!

good luck with the legal groups...i am very interested in the out come of that....please keep up posted....

hang it there girl.....

Thanks Denise... I will let you know the outcome as soon as I know...LOL I did attend the Alabama CURE Organization's Prison Conference in B'ham this past Saturday...This is a National Group with individual state chapters that are striving for positive prison reform. A friend of mine from the Kairos Outside ministry is the state director and had invited me to attend. I'm glad that I did as I learned a great deal about what kinds of reform are "in the works" presently and how I can be a part. They also had a panel of ex-inmates who spoke of their experiences inside and where they are today...4 of the 6 were once on Death Row and are now free, a couple have even been pardoned. It was very encouraging as well as informative. I was able to place one of my letters concerning my husband's situation in the hands of a lady who personally knows the Executive Director of one of the "Legal Groups"...the EJI of AL ,that I had intended to mail the letter to. She has promised to have him look directly into my husband's case, saying that she felt it was the type of case that this man would like to "take on". I feel hopeful if he does, because he is the man responsible for obtaining the freedom of 3 of those former Death Row inmates that were on that panel that day. She described him as a man who is not afraid to stand up to the "big politicians" and who is not intimidated by such. I can only wait and see at this point....and pray!!!! :-)

Hope you're having a blessed day!
Mary

Wow...what they are doing with your husband is just so crazy...not right!! :angry: My heart goes put to both of you. 21 years is a very long time to be doing this...you must be a very strong person...and if you've made it this far, you'll get through this too...:D I'm still very new at this whole thing. I started writting back and forth with my man about a year and a half ago...we met that way through a friend of mine/ours. Things slowly became more serious between the two of us. We had our first visit Dec. 4th, 2004...and have been together since...:D It's only been 6 1/2 months...and it's very difficult at times to deal with. In each other we have found true, unconditional love. :love: That makes it all worth it...:yes: My man is a lifer also...but mine has life without the possibilty of parole...:cry: So you are a great inspiration for me...I admire your strength and devotion. :thumbsup: I will keep you and your husband in my prayers...:grouphug: Hang in there...:rolleyes:

I know exactly how your feeling, because I just went threw the same thing with my husband. We were denied also and set off for 2 years, like yourself, I felt that 'this' was the time' I had all the paperwork, job, home, support ect. everything that I felt that they were looking for, we followed the rules, and 'bam' they denied us, no reason, just 'denied' and my whole world crumbled also. And its been over a month and I still have not fully recovered. This time, I wonder if I really will. 21 years, I've been in it for 16 and two more will be 18, so I'am right on your heals. My husband is at Bibb also and its not a very nice visiting area, we do not even have tables and have to eat in our laps. Thats sad, but we make the best out of it. The yard get to full and the first ones there are the first to leave, it does not matter that I have gotten up at five, driven 2 1/2 hours to stay only 2 hours. A high price to pay, but we pay it or do without a visit all together. It will take some getting use to for you, but you will endure and like myself, make the best out of it. I really do not know what to say to you, because I did not know what I wanted to hear myself. So all I can say is 'hang-in-there. Your not along, because there are lots of us out here feeling the same pain, and wonders. I still cry and still hate to come home, I still drive-up and just drive-off, go sit in the park to keep from coming home, and sleep on the couch lots of nights, that way, maybe I can get to sleep without feeling that my husband will never lay beside me. Its rough and it hurt, but it will get better. I still cry, just cry and then go on. One-step-at-a-time. Thats all we have, along with hope that something will break for us. I need some of those address you have, maybe they will help, we try anything and anyone. If you do not want to put them on-line, just pm me. If your feeling low, pm, it has helped me a lots to talk to one-on-one. We are here for you. I'am hear for you. If that old saying is true that mesery(sp) loves company, then jump on board because we all have it. Sharing the load makes it better to bear.

Wow...I don't even know what to say I am sure you are both devestated. May faith guide you both thru all of the trials in your life. You are both in my thoughts.

Mel

Thanks Diane!

Hey sweetie! My heart goes out to you too! I hope that the prison's there in CA are better than those in Alabama! Not that any of them are nice! LOL It's just that this state is so slow to adopt anything new and progressive and whereas in the 60's the attitude was to "rehabilitate" prisoners, now the politicians have said "Let's get tough on Crime"...and adopted a "Lock Em Up Forever and Throw Away the Key" attitude...they parole relatively few even tho many meet the parole criteria and then they wonder why they have a prison overcrowding problem! Go figure!!! In Alabama it's more about Politics and Money. I'm glad to hear that you have found unconditonal love with your sweetie inside... he will need you by his side to make it thru this. I met and married my husband after he was incarcerated too; married in a prison chapel and have visited every weekend for 21 years now. And you know what?...as tough as it's been...and believe me it's been a hardship unlike any I've ever known in my life!....if I had to, I'd do it all over again! I believe in my husband and the wonderful man that he is today enought to say and mean that. People often tell me that they admire my "strength"...but the "secret" is that I am "weak" and willing to admit it before God and He gives me His strength to get thru this. I couldn't do this without Him strengthening me, giving me the courage I need and the hope that only He can give. Hey, if you haven't heard of the Kairos Outside ministry to the women who have a loved one incarcerated....you need to check them out! This ministry was started there in California and is now in 21 states across the US. they hold weekend retreats for women who have a husband, son, friend etc on the inside....whether state or federal prison or city or county jails. I attended a weekend retreat and loved it so much and got so much love, understanding and support there, that I became a team member myself. I was asked to share my sotry and give a "talk" at the last one held here in April. There's 5 chapters there in CA...just look them up on the Web and make contact with them...you won't regret doing so, believe me! This group understands the problems and hardships that we face and show nothing but unconditonal love and support...they'll become like a "family" of support to you. I thank you for your prayers for us and I will keep you in mine as well. May God Bless and strengthen and uphold you sweet one!

Sincerely HIS,
Mary

HEY MARY!!! I'm happy to see you back! I'm just seeing this thread and I'm about to PM you!!

Good Luck to you. You sound very STRONG! Your faith must play a big part, because I cant even imagine doing that for that long of a time. My heart goes out to you.
I will pray for you and your family. I hope things trn over for you guys. The prison system stinks and is so unfair.
Peace to you.

Hey Mary,
My son is at Bibb also. He has only been there for about two months on a 15 year sentence for Crystal Meth. I am so sorry to hear that your husband has been done such a way. I understand your frustrations. I feel your pain. My fiance has been on Death Row since 1983. He has been fighting this for for almost 23 years now. There was no such thing in 1983 as DNA and when it became available in 1988 he started immediately asking questions about it. We contacted the Innocence Project who is headed up by Barry Scheck and also Peter Neufeld. They aggreed to take his case on and began searching for the evidence in this case. Finding out that they were being given the run around saying that the evidence couldnot be found. Finally after years of searching we (his family and counsel) found some of it but all the biological evidence was gone. They had a contaminated blanket and sheet. The swabs and slides from the victim (who was his step-daughter) and the gastric juices samples were all gone. No where to be found. They tested the contaminated evidence and said that there was a stain that "appeared to be co-mingled" . Not that it WAS but APPEARED. He has an explanation for that but of course everyone else involved says he is not being truthful. He has maintained his innocence all these years. INSTEAD of coming to some sort of solution about all this the State set an execution date for July 2001. Fortunately the Alabama Supreme Court granted him a stay 6 days before the date after the Innocence Project filed a petition about the lost evidence in Federal District Court. Now when this stay was asked for and this petition filed the State's representatives all said on the news and in news articles that he was just STALLING to prevent his death. The Federal District Court ruled against him and we appealed it to the 11Th Circuit Court in Atlanta. Atlanta ruled in his favor as to what the state had to give him about this missing evidence. Then the State appealed the decision from Atlanta to the US Supreme Court, but remember it was him who was STALLING. The US Supreme Court ruled in his favor also and ordered the case back to the Federal District Court to be heard. That was in the spring of 2002 and he is still sitting there waiting on a decision. The State is still trying to get something done. They have approached the AL Sup Court several times asking for a date to be set and they refused until this other petition is ruled on. We know that the date is imminent and there is probably nothing we can do to stop it. I was informed that the State was calling the courts just a couple of weeks ago asking if the judge was working on the case or just letting it lay there and they had filed a motion for an expedited decision not to long ago. So just hang in there and perhaps soon things will work out for you. I pray that it does. Just be grateful that one day you will be able to bring him home alive. If I can be of any help to you let me know. God Bless You.

Hi Pam!

Thank you for your sweet reply and understanding. I am so sorry to hear about your son at Bibb and your fiance on Death Row...How awful this must be for you! My heart goes out to you as well. I am grateful for the time that I do have with my husband, tho he has often wished he had gotten the death penalty so that he could go on to be with the Lord and be free from prison...which is nothing short of a "living death" the way in which Alabama prisons are run. We're not sure that we will ever be able to be together out here in the "free world" seeing as he has been up for parole 9 times and denied again and again...for 25 years now. It'll be another 5 years now before he'll have another hearing and those protesting him have political pull, money and connections that will see to it that he never makes parole. That's what they have vowed and thus far they have succeeded. We don't have the finances nor the "connections" to get anything done about the illegal and unjust measures that they have taken against him in his case. It will take a miracle from God and so that is what we pray for. I just long to have my husband home with me...It's been so long and I'm so weary of it all. I will pray for your son and your fiance and I ask for your prayers for us as well. Thank you for writing and sharing your "plight" with me so that I will know how to pray for you. God has been our strength and sustainer thru all that we have faced and He has given us a special grace thru our ordeal. I don't know what tomorrow holds, but I'm thankful that I do KNOW the One who holds our tomorrow and that He is Faithful.

I am currently trying to obtain a Trial Transcript of my husband's case from 25 years ago...and getting the "run-around" from the Court records people in trying to even locate it. Do you have any suggestions for me? The court appointed attorney he had back then is deceased now and nobody knows who the court reporter was. Our current lawyer who wants to assist us needs this transcript of the case in order to try to prove "ineffective counsel", but I don't know how to obtain it. ???

I pray that God is upholding you and your fiance as well as your son at Bibb Correctional. I wonder if we might possibly be visiting there on the same day? (Our next visitng day is this Sunday) I know that they alternate visiting days and weekends at Bibb due to the overload of inmates they have there. My husband and I were used to visitng every single weekend until they moved him to Bibb. He had been 12 years of the 25years served at an level 2 Honor Ranch prior to this last parole set-off. They up and shipped him and placed some new suffix code behind his AIS# ...a "-R" which we now learn means he's restricted from going forward to a level 2 camp again. They also illegally stripped his level 2 custody and placed him backwards in a level 4 custody status without any violation on his part...all due to protestors pulling "politcal favors" and grandstanding at his hearing. Sometimes we feel like we're fighting a hopeless situation, you know?

Well, thanks again for your reply and offer of help. I am involved with the Alabama CURE group (working to see reform in AL prisons and advocates for abolishing the Death Penalty) and also the Kairos Outside Ministries (an International & Statewide Ministry to the families of those incarcerated). Please let me know if there's any way in which I can be of help and support to you as well. God Bless and keep you and your loved ones in His divine care and providence.

Sincerely HIS,
Mary

Hi Pam!

Thank you for your sweet reply and understanding. I am so sorry to hear about your son at Bibb and your fiance on Death Row...How awful this must be for you! My heart goes out to you as well. I am grateful for the time that I do have with my husband, tho he has often wished he had gotten the death penalty so that he could go on to be with the Lord and be free from prison...which is nothing short of a "living death" the way in which Alabama prisons are run. We're not sure that we will ever be able to be together out here in the "free world" seeing as he has been up for parole 9 times and denied again and again...for 25 years now. It'll be another 5 years now before he'll have another hearing and those protesting him have political pull, money and connections that will see to it that he never makes parole. That's what they have vowed and thus far they have succeeded. We don't have the finances nor the "connections" to get anything done about the illegal and unjust measures that they have taken against him in his case. It will take a miracle from God and so that is what we pray for. I just long to have my husband home with me...It's been so long and I'm so weary of it all. I will pray for your son and your fiance and I ask for your prayers for us as well. Thank you for writing and sharing your "plight" with me so that I will know how to pray for you. God has been our strength and sustainer thru all that we have faced and He has given us a special grace thru our ordeal. I don't know what tomorrow holds, but I'm thankful that I do KNOW the One who holds our tomorrow and that He is Faithful.

I am currently trying to obtain a Trial Transcript of my husband's case from 25 years ago...and getting the "run-around" from the Court records people in trying to even locate it. Do you have any suggestions for me? The court appointed attorney he had back then is deceased now and nobody knows who the court reporter was. Our current lawyer who wants to assist us needs this transcript of the case in order to try to prove "ineffective counsel", but I don't know how to obtain it. ???

I pray that God is upholding you and your fiance as well as your son at Bibb Correctional. I wonder if we might possibly be visiting there on the same day? (Our next visitng day is this Sunday) I know that they alternate visiting days and weekends at Bibb due to the overload of inmates they have there. My husband and I were used to visitng every single weekend until they moved him to Bibb. He had been 12 years of the 25years served at an level 2 Honor Ranch prior to this last parole set-off. They up and shipped him and placed some new suffix code behind his AIS# ...a "-R" which we now learn means he's restricted from going forward to a level 2 camp again. They also illegally stripped his level 2 custody and placed him backwards in a level 4 custody status without any violation on his part...all due to protestors pulling "politcal favors" and grandstanding at his hearing. Sometimes we feel like we're fighting a hopeless situation, you know?

Well, thanks again for your reply and offer of help. I am involved with the Alabama CURE group (working to see reform in AL prisons and advocates for abolishing the Death Penalty) and also the Kairos Outside Ministries (an International & Statewide Ministry to the families of those incarcerated). Please let me know if there's any way in which I can be of help and support to you as well. God Bless and keep you and your loved ones in His divine care and providence.

Sincerely HIS,
Mary

Just wanted to share with you my experience with receiving transcripts, although not in Alabama. Perhaps though you may try it and who knows it may possibly work for you.

You have to have the transcript number for faster service and then call the county clerks office in the county the charges were filed in. Since it was quite some time ago, they will not have video tapes, but possibly audio as well as typed ones. My husband's case they had audio, typed and video.

If that doesn't get you anywhere, the Prosecutor in the case also has a copy. Perhaps you can contact that person.

Even though his defense attorney died, those records are somewhere.

So just keep on letting your fingers do the walking in the telephone book.

All of my best to you. I wish you lots of luck. Positive thoughts and energy going up for you.

StandingByMyMan, you mentioned in an earlier post that one of those groups told you about working on prison reforms. What did they tell you, if you don't mind me asking?

StandingByMyMan, Thank you for all your prayers and support. At times I really do need them desperately. To address your question about transcripts, I will tell you up front that the inmate is supposed to be furnished one copy free of charge. Danny's mom had to pay for his as they had the same problems you are having. If you will tell me the county and the year that he was tried in, I will try to help you find out who the Court Clerk for that county was in that year. The Court Clerk HAS to know WHO the court reporter was. Sounds like you are getting some of the same crap that Danny's mom got. Hope to hear from you soon. I will have to ask my daughter in law what weekend she visits next to let you know about visits.

I dont know what to say to that.....Wow, I feel bad for you both. ya know, I never had sympathy for the men behind bars, never even once thought about their wives, kids, mothers. Not until now of course, really makes you think hard about things that seemed so onesided in the past.

I dont know what your man did and dont care, but your obviously in alot of pain. So many women here are in so much pain, including myself. I know nothing to say to help you except that I wish you peace at night to help you sleep and the strength each day to help you carry on.

Take care of yourself

Hi and welcome back.
It sounds like you and your hubby have been through so much...I'm so sorry for all the pain and hurt your feeling.
I'll keep you and your hubby in my prayers daily.
I wish the best for both of you.
Always...

I'm somewhat late to this thread, but I notice posts are added all along. Sis. Mary, only in our weekness can his strength be seen thru
our eyes. Jesus loves you and your husband more than mere words
can express. Pray for the Holy Spirit to minister to your soul and deliver words of encouragment to your husbands heart thru his faithful study of the Living Word of God. I'm amazed at the faithful support and outpouring of love that I've read on PTO. Stand by your man and let your spirit bear witness with his spirit..IMO this is what
he stands in need of, the strength of the Holy Spirit to face everyday
knowing he has a devouted Christian wife praying for him daily and
the hope and petitions to God for his release.... Our love is sent your way in prayer and spirit.

He Lives,
Rev. Jeff