The only reason why I hate visitation is the crowds! We want to be more affectionate during visitation but there are so many people around looking in your face. Neither of us are fond of PDAs even though most couples in visitation do it. Anyone else going through this?

I hope I can make it for the next 5 years...:fb:

FOR ME PERSONALLY, I JUST TUNE THOSE PEOPLE OUT AND PUT ALL MY FOCUS ON RON...I ONLY CARE ABOUT THE INTERACTION BETWEEN HIM AND ME-OBVIOUSLY IF THE GUARDS SAY SOMETHING TO YOU, YOU HAVE TO ACKNOWLEDGE THEM, BUT OTHER THAN THAT- I JUST SAY FORGET WHERE YOU ARE AND FOCUS ON WHO YOU ARE WITH-THE MAN YOU LOVE!!!

PS-OF COURSE, WE HAVE TO BE CAREFUL NOT TO GET CARRIED AWAY..................

personally, I would give anything to have a visit to where I could touch Juan. When he was still here in KS, we had the glass between us and the phone. Since he's been moved to Louisiana....I havn't seen him since December.

I wouldn't care who was watching...... just one kiss, that is all I ask for :(

I havent been able to touch Stephen since February and dont know when we will have contact visits..seems he is stuck in the coiunty jail for now...i would love just to be able to touch him:(

Sherry, I totally agree with you. When I first visited Goody in prison, it was very hard for me to kiss him in front of others. But I soon got over that and don't really care if anyone sees us. We love each other and need to show it. One of the guards actually came to us one day and told us it made him happy to see two people so much in love and having a good time together during visitation. We always laugh and joke around when we are together.

Tracy

I know I'm kinda shy around big crowds of people, but I also know, if I will visit Darrell and I get a touch visit,I will hug and kiss him, no matter what

Well, I can't visit now but I agree with Sherrie. When I was visiting I was so caught up in my sweetheart that I didn't no anyone else was around, until a guard walked up and said something. :dance:

A show of affection in public just tells the world "this one is mine".

If you will note the peoples reaction when a couple are holding hands ect. You'll see a smile come on there face.

I agree BRay. Honestly as long as it doesn't cause problems for my Fiancee I could care less what anyone thinks about us showing affection. I think most visitors in the prisons don't care unless it gets too naughty!!!!!!

:dance:

I agree also...

Although when I first went to meet EJ that was the first time I had ever been in a prison & the first time I had met EJ as well. When we were getting ready to leave I was expecting a hug...well that BIG DEVIL had to have a kiss as well. I was pretty nervous that the guards were going to say something.

By the last time I saw him...let me tell you I didn't care 1 bit what they thought! He's my honey man & I want the whole world to know he's MINE!! :D

Take care!
D

I guess I'll see on my third visit, I've only visited two times so far since he's been at the new place. I guess I haven't gotten used to the new setting. The guards always try to break it up but they're loved ones are always around them. It hurts to see them do that. The end of visitation is always the worse you never want to part.

I get tunnel vision at visitations! "You mean there are other people here!?!" lol.. Crowds never stopped me if my visitor was someone I wanted to kiss, hug or carress. In fact, crowds are usually better as far as I am concerned because it makes for good "cover".. :) It's hard for the CO's to keep up with a room full of 200 or more people.. When you are the only one in the visitation room, you know who they are hawking..

David

LORD HELP US ALL, IF BUTCH AND RENEE EVER GET TO VISIT AGAIN.... I HAVE BEEN AT SOME OF THEIR PREVIOUS VISITS. I EVEN GOT EMBARRASED AT TIMES.... OH WELL.... GOD BLESS THEM AND GO FOR IT GUYS...

DONNA

You're right on that one Mom. If I do get to visit again you know I have to show him how much I have missed him!!!!!!!!!
Can you blame me, or him?

LORD NO, I DON'T BLAME YOU.... I JUST WISH HE COULD BE HOME AND YOU GUYS COULD GET MARRIED AND START YOUR LIFE.... HE SURE HASN'T HAD A CHANCE AT ONE YET.

MY LOVE
MOM

I know, but hopefully that will all change soon. I promise you as a daughter-in law I will love, and spoil your son rotten because of all the love I have for him. We have talked about this alot. I want to give him everything his heart desires and he wants to do the same for me, and I'm not talking about material things.

LOVE MUFFIN AND BUDWOMAN- YOU TWO SOUND LIKE YOU HAVE THE "MOTHER-IN-LAW -DAUGHTER-IN-LAW "RELATIONSHIP THAT MOST PEOPLE DREAM OF!!

ONE BIG HAPPY FAMILY!

I have to say that I am another one of those "just let me have the chance to have a contact visit with my man" kinda girls.... We have been together WAY too long with no contact... I would do as much as they would allow.... :)
And I agree Sherry that Budwoman and LoveMuffin have an awesome relationship... I too am blessed with a very wonderful and understanding future mother-in-law... :) Thanks Moms.... :)

Anthony tune everyone but the kids out. we are just in OUR own world. we are always touching and rubbing on each others arms/ Anthony loves to go back to his bunk and smell his hands and arms cuz he smells like me.. He loves it and so do I.

David doesn't like PDA's. We're only allowed to kiss coming in and going out. We're not supposed to touch during the visit. Depending on where we're sitting we may be able to sneak a peck or two. It's still better than county with glass between us.

Yes! Much better than county! Glass is evil! LOL
I have yet to see Cliff in a contact visit. In fact, this saturday will be the first time since march 5 that I have been able to see him at all, let alone with out glass between us. I'm sure we will be doing a lot of PDA's!
:yes:

Don't Cali visits get conjugal after a while?

Only when they are mainline or endorsed. Not while they are in reception.

Hey Leonda :)
You will get used to the visiting routine soon and you will feel much more comfortable with the PDA. I used to be very shy and still sometimes can be in a "regular" setting. There is just something about being in that room, though, where you understand all those other people are going through the same things as you and are just as busy focussing on their men as you are on yours. I completely "zone out" now in the visiting room and sometimes am surprised to realize where I am when i come to.
I wish you all the best..you seem like such a nice girl :)


Shannon

Visitation this past Sunday was great. It wasn't crowded and the guards weren't even paying attention. We were all over each other!

Thanks Shannon I'm getting used to the atmosphere, I have been there three times in a month.

great to hear that, girl! I'm sure both you and Stephen enjoyed being 'all over each other' :D

I think visits in a State & Fed facility are alot different. I don't have experience w/ the state but from reading what u all have been posting it seems if the COs are alot stricter.

The COs at Lompoc have been really cool. The only times Todd got in trouble was when he straddled the bench and when I had one leg draped over his.

Other wise, it's pretty cool cuz the picnic benches are spread out and it's outside. It's kinda chilly so a jacket makes a GREAT cover when he wants to cop a feel! LOL

But we don't care about the PDAs...visitation is all about us! I lay the smooches on him constantly. I think the COs get jealous. haha

I'm opening up more and more at each visitation. I have been two weekends in a row going for three weekends in a row this week.

You should have seen EJ & I on Sun. when visiting was over!! HE thought the female guard was going to say something to us...& let me tell you HE has always been the 1 to not care what they think...hee hee!!
I hadn't had a kiss or hug from that man in so long that it was MY turn to not care what the guard thought!!

Diona

Good for you Diona, If only I could do the same.

I agree Renee!!! What I wouldn't do for one little hug..... only what? 26 more months?? Ugh!

OK-what are PDA's???

Public Displays of Affection...

I was pretty darn public on Sunday let me tell you ladies...hee hee!

We heard about it from some female gaurds,too!!

LOL @ DJ yeah me too. I was shy at first but I don't care anymore. They let you go outside at these tables with umbrellas and we turn the umbrella to our backs so the guards can't see. Some things almost happened!

Girl you are lucky!!
The place EJ is at is really restricted when it comes to visits...can't wait until he gets transferred. The visits will be so much better...hee hee!!

It usually depends on who is working what shift. There is one shift that lets you basically do what you want and the other is too strict. I try to visit Steven on the weekends when the 'I-Don't-Care' shift is working.

THERE IS NO "I DONT CARE SHIFT" WHERE RON IS--WISH THERE WAS!

I don't hug and kiss Trey the way that I do when he will get home (he he) but I sure make it known to every one (if they are looking) that I love this man more than anything! The guards here really watch you though and we have gotten talked to many a times - however we have also gotten away with quite a bit!!!!!!!!!!! ahh yeah!

they guards are ok where anthony is but we do not push our luck, i do not want to risk loosing my contact visits.. the cage thing is for the birds and i did that for to long.

Yes I agree Shortie, before you know it you'll have some guard walking up to you saying your contact visit privilages are over. This past Sunday I had my leg stretched out under Stevens chair and the guard walked up to us. You can't do anything these days. It's like you're in an interview rather than a visit from a loved one.

that is true that i why i try to be very careful and mindful of what is going on around me while i am visiting.. i just cherish my visits so much and in texas they are quick to take them from you.

I just can't wait to feel Wayne's touch again. I miss him! He gives me these love pats on the bottom all of the time - I used to think I hated them, but I even miss that. I can't wait to throw my arms around him, hold him close, take in his scent, and not let him go. That's the day dreams are made!

We almost had visits denied because I was touching his hair & face. Not joking. The guard even threatened to haul him out in cuffs to seg. For touching his hair and face.

vnv...

That is just crazy!! I thought the visit where I saw EJ last was restricted...I at least got to touch his arms, face & we held hands for a bit. I even hit him a couple times when he distracted me SOO MUCH that I lost a couple easy card games...hee hee!! He does so love to distract me!!

I have gotten to a point where I get tunnel vision, which is a big surprise for me because I have always been the type to be aware of my surroundings, but w/EJ I just concentrate on him. It's probably because we can't see each other all that much.

Geez VNV that's a little extreme. But that's how they do. Why don't they just make a rule that says 'Both feet flat on the floor and your hands on the table and your head erect'? We couldn't even put our hands under the table or in our laps. I wish the "I-Don't-Care' shift was working that day.

I know what you mean! When I was visiting Tony, we were outside at the picnic tables and he was sitting sideways straddling his legs around the picnic table facing me and the guard came over and said that he couldn't sit like that. It's so silly! The things they like to pick at just amaze me!

I don't get it either! He was stroking my arms a little & we snuck in a kiss or three, but if they saw us really move we heard about it! He was pretty good about knowing when to take a chance but they caught us regardless. Maybe next time!!

Yeah sometimes you have to watch out. You would think that they're not looking, but then you get a tap on your shoulder.

I LOVE IT WHEN IT IS CROWED CAUSE IT KEEPS THE CO'S BUSY WATCING OTHER PEOPLE INSTEAD OF US.

there are some texas prisons that are really strick i think that they do it to irrate the inmate so they mess up...

WELL, PART OF IT IS IRRITATION OF BOTH THE VISITOR AND THE INMATE. ONE THING THAT I HAVE OBSERVED IN THEIR DEFENSE, IS THIS...... I HAVE ACTUALLY SEEN INMATES HAVING SEXUAL PLEASURES PERFORMED ON THEM IN THE VISITATION AREA... THIS IS AN OPEN, CONTACT AREA WHERE THERE ARE CHILDREN.... I KNOW THEY ARE HURTING, BUT THIS TYPE OF THING SHOULD NOT BE PUT OUR FOR OTHERS TO SEE. THIS IS A PRIVATE THING.... THAT IS WHY MOST PRISONS ARE SO STRICK.....

WHEN A FEW TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE RULES, THEN ALL SUFFER.


DONNA

ALL THE MORE REASON THEY NEED CONJUGAL VISITS IN EVERY STATE

i TOOOOOTTALLY agree with you sherri!!

I AGREE 200% W/SHERRI!!!
Things would be so much better if every state had conjugal visits!!

I've read an interesting article on the effects of conjugal visits but I sent it off to my friend. I'll ask him where it was from so I can post the link here. It was a while ago and I cannot remember where I found it.

I WOULD LOVE TO MAKE LOVE TO MY HUSBAND BUT IF I GOT THE CHANCE WHILE HE WAS LOCKED UP I WOULD PROBABLY DECLINE THE OFFER. THEY WATCH THOSE VISITS AND ALSO I WOULD NOT WANT TO CONSUME MY MARRIAGE BEHIND PRISON WALLS, I WILL JUST WAIT..

that's true Shortie, but it must be great to have some private time with him, even if it's only to talk in private or to be able and hug and hold each other without having to watch out that a CO will pat you on the back

I agree w/you Shortie...

EJ & I have discussed the topic of a conjugal visit & honestly I am like you. I don't want our first time together to be on display for all of the prison to see. I will wait until he comes home, to be able to have EJ all to myself w/out prying eyes or to have to hold back for fear a CO will tell us NO...HEAVEN!!

Big crowds do keep em off...but it's the big crowds that's in your face!

If they had conjugal visits they wouldn't have any problems.

I tune everyone out and concentrate on Billy. We can hug and kiss as long as it's not too heavy. I don't worry about anyone else watching, because it's not their business. We show each other affection as often as we can since we can't be togther at home.

I must live to far back in Oklahoma, What is PDA?Steve&kids

I had the same question! I was told it means public displays of affection. How do you vote? For or against?

i vote FOR :p

Was for it before she went in and still feel the same!!!!!!!!!Steve&kids

FOR, FOR...:D :haha:

UMM...now FOR.

Leonda, did you have to visit your boyfriend at the reception center before he was moved to population? I'll be visiting in the reception center and I just wondered what it was like? Will we get to hold hands throughout the visit? I'll be there on the 4th and 6th...maybe I'll see you and get to say Hi in person?!

Pam

Pam,

Steven is in the correctional part of Powhatan. He's never been to the reception center. Do you know the difference between the two? I'm thinking that the reception center is the dorms. I'm not sure how visits are there though. Let me know how the visit turned out!

I agree with Sherri! Plus I don't care who is watching me just as long as we don't get carried away. Now if a CO tells us to calm down or some thing of that nature I have to listen to him, but I'll kiss my Ron if I want to an I don't care who's watching and he know that.:)

When we're in that room, it's like "Other people? Didn't notice."

He's a little more paranoid about the guards, simply because they can end the visits, but I don't think twice about giving my man a hug and a kiss whenever the urge strikes me.

Yeah the guards are the ones to really watch out for.

I'm like David and get "tunnel vision". I have to go 4-6 weeks between visits due to distance so each one is like a "honeymoon". He usually picks me up (at least he still can) and hugs me so tight. We kiss as long as we feel we can get away with it, but the goodbye ones are longer since everyone else is saying goodbye.

I am usually touching him in some way during the visit, hand holding, thighs touching, etc. There was only one time we got in a little bit of trouble. I had a bad headache and was leaning against him. The guard was cool though, just looked at us and shook his head. They rotate in the Federal Prisons, so it just depend who is in the visiting room. When taking pictures it is just another opportunity for a nice hug.

I'm sorry for those of you that can't experience contact visits. I say don't worry and do what feels natural.
Kelli

I agree Donna 100%. We haven't done nothing more than touching legs and kissing but other than that is extreme.