I can't believe I didn't find this forum before, I sure could of used it, I guess when reading about the alcohol and drugs, I just 'assumed' it was in reference to our loved one who's incarcerated. How wrong was I!! I am a recovering alcoholic. I had over 3 years constant sobriety, I was able to utilize the 12 steps of recovery to help my guy when he was locked up before, he's not an addict/alcoholic, but how to do 'feeling', deal with pain, acceptance, taking responsibilty, it helped us grow so close. I would like to believe he is still holding on to some of that for when he gets out in just a few short months. Because of circumstances I have not been in contact with him now in over 7 months, it has been very difficult, I think I'm getting off track here and I apoligize. Since he went back this last year, I basicly stopped working my program and although it took a while, (switched to wine) what a joke!!, I have managed to put my life right back in the toilet. I just got out of treatment on Tuesday.

I realize looking back I have never dealt with him going back to prison. I had turned to alcohol and food as a way of dealing with the pain. I live alone so isolation was no problem at all, I almost welcomed it. How destructive. So I am happy to say I feel really good and am back on track. I still have the underline feeling of anger and betrayal, but I know today I have no control over that, I am struggling as to whether to write him or not, I just found out his grandmother is dieing and he is very close to her, but I know I have to take care of me first, that's how I spiraled down before, focusing on other things.

I appreciate you all listening, this disease has kicked my butt for the last time, (I hope), I know today I am not alone, never was, I just forgot.. God is here, always has been.... Thank you

I am so proud of you. Hang in there!
Take care
Valorie

Glad to hear you are back on track! You can do it! best of luck :)

wecome to PTO!!! I am really glad you found us!!! congratulations too, for finding yourself in sobriety...I have been clean for a pretty long time, I still dont know if its easier, all i know is i am not hurting those I love and that makes it all worthwhile

Thanks for sharing.

I had to get sober so I would be useful to anyone (including me)...it changed everything. Today, I get to deal with things with a clear head. Sometimes that is painful, sometimes I just don't like how the world works. But, I believe that today I have a chance to do the right thing(s) and end up OK. When I was "out there", it was all about the next drink and me. I couldn't be helpful to anyone else.

It is nice to be here with people who always try to be helpful and supportive of others. A bit like rejoining the good part of the human race. :)

Good luck to you!

Thanks Mike, I can't tell you how much I needed to hear those few words of encouragement. It's been a stressful day, brought on by my own thinking, but I made it, it's not about wanting to drink, it's just the wreakage I've got to clean up, part of me knows to turn it over to God but my head just keeps ticking away, boy I can't wait till 8pm... Again Thanks

WELCOME DalesDeb! I love the 12 step program! I apply it to a lot of things in my life! I'm glad you decided to stay sober! Good Luck with everything! What's at 8pm?

welcome back deb! It took a lot of courage to admit what's happened, it's the first step to recovery.

If you need anything feel free to pm and I will do everything I can do to support you through this.

(((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))

PhillyGurlll, 8pm was a meeting LOL... Open actually and awesome. Sunnie I may just pm you, as I am pretty weird these days, I don't want to drink, but I just feel a little lost, lonely I guess, I go to meetings everyday, but I have to much time on my hands. There's an issue at work because I went into treatment and I have a meeting on Thursday, so hopefully it will get resolved and I'll be back to work soon, if not, well, I can't think that far ahead. Thank you so much for your support