I would like to ask a question...

I imagine that GLBT people in prison is not a normal conversation for you to have with your loved one inside...

I would however like to ask you if you would get the opinion of your loved one the next time you visit or write?

I am lucky that my Partner is 'out' inside and he is fairly well accepted. He has straight friends that of course know and are not threatened and he has never really been hassled by the administration.

Others however live in fear of coming out. Others have visits from their Partners and are very cautious of their behavior so as to not give it away.

Here are the types of things that I would be interested to discuss and share from your loved ones...

Are they aware of ture 'gay' relationships in their prison?

How are these Prisoners treated by other Prisoners?

Do Gay Prisoners suffer abuse at the hands of other Prisoners and the administration?

How would they react to a Gay couple visiting in the visiting room?

Would they accept Gay couples hugging or kissing at the beginning and end of the visit?

How does your loved one 'see' the administration of the Prison they are in accepting Gay relationships - especially with a loved one on the outside?

Overall - how does the general population of the prison accept gay relationships?

Although I hope to see positive responses here, please don't be afraid to post a response that non accepting... I would like for this to be a healthy discussion and see what the general consensus is...

If you are interested to participate in this - please post your response to this thread!

Thanks!

i'll find out and expand on the answers that i already have about lee's feelings on this...

Actually my man and I have spoken about this many times since we both have gay friends on the outside. He feels this way....
If your gay be proud of it. He is the furthest thing from homophobic and strongly believes you are born either homosexual or heterosexual...it is not a choice. He has no problem with those who are openly gay and understands why some on the inside choose not to disclose it. He does have a problem with those who are always saying the are not and hate gays etc. etc. and then they turn around and have a relationship (sexual) with another inmate. This bother's him to no end. As for details he tells me he stays away from all the drama in regards to this type of stuff. He makes it clear he is not homosexual inside or out. He also makes it clear that if you mess with a guy who is cool for no other reason than he is homosexual..he's got their back. He gives a lot of credit to those inside who are openly gay. As for visits, I mentioned in another thread that a gay couple used to visit at the prison he was at before...they never kissed hello or goodbye...but heck we both wished they would...you could see how much they wanted to.
As for the CO's and how they treat people in this regard I will have to asks him.

Bella, I knew you and M were great people !!! :)

Teb, Joey has NOW no problem being gay. He's been incarcerated for 16 years, so he knows how to handle this.

Most of his buddies know about our relationship, and they even sent me a card for X-mas.

What I know, is that when he was sent to prison, he was 16 and had been sexually assaulted by a gang of black guys. :( He stabbed one of them for this and went to the hole at the very beginning of his incarceration. What I don't know is if he was actually raped or not. He never told me clearly, and I never asked. It will be his choice to tell me or not what really happened this day, I will never question him.

That's a very good thread Teb !!

Phil

I agree...excellent thread...keeping our minds going as always Teb :D

Thanks Phil!

I'm going to print this out and send it out with Bill's letter tomorrow. I don't think it's as positive in Michigan. You said to share even if it's negative.....so I know they're referred to as "sissies" and people steer clear of them. Bill's told me before if you're seen talking to any of this group you're then seen as a "sissy."

I know that Bill believes "to each his own" and that each person's life is their own business, yet I also know that he isn't close friends with any because of what I stated above.

I have seen gay couples visiting a few times in the visiting rooms in Michigan. They don't touch at all and there is a short embrace at the beginning and end. It's sad......

Deb

I talked to Robert and I have to say that I must agree with Deb. Robert said that the men that he knows are gay are pretty much left alone. However, he said that he doesn't associate with them for the same reasons Deb stated above. Robert is not at all homophobic, and on the outside, he has friends that are gay. But, where he is now, he just stays away out of fear of being "targeted" so to speak. It's sad. (and he's in a level I!)
I haven't seen any gay couples at visits yet so I can't comment on that aspect.

Jeni,

Bill's in a level 1 as well. Makes me wonder how much worse the higher levels are with this...

Deb

JD and I have talked about this... quite a bit actually when I was still working inside.....
I was actually surprised at how accepting the inmates were of the openly homosexual guys.... And I asked him about it... He said that really it was cool with him and with almost all of the other guys-- what more people had a problem with was when they knew someone was gay and they denied it.... somehow that was taken as being "sneaky".... the philosophy was basically "you are what you are, just be real about it..."
What would NOT be accepted is if a gay man tried to come onto another inmate and pressured them after they let them know they don't get down like that....
I did see in the time that I worked inside the walls an issue with a gay inmate who was trying to hit on some of the newer, younger guys.... the older guys saw that as being inappropriate and unfair...
JD has said that the staff do give the openly gay guys a harder time... and I saw that too.... The cooler officers are ok... but the ones who are just out to catch an inmate doing anything they can write them up for will be on the gay guys like a hawk... it's obviously excessive....
I know JD wouldn't have a problem seeing a gay couple kiss and hug at a visit-- in fact he would encourage it... he wouldn't want anyone to feel as if they had to hide what they are..... again, his philosophy is you are what you are-- be proud of it...

Oh I'm printing this out and sending tonight to Tony. I will post what he writes back! I will tell him he has to answer my questions when I see him Saturday :) He is bad about NOT answering questions cept on phone! lol
I know how Tony feels but will wait for him to answer for himself! Great Post Teb. I know the replies will be good!
*HUGS* Renee

Thanks for your responses so far... I am encouraged with the positive nature but also welcome the negative because life is not always a bowl of cherries!

Where Teddy is he is openly gay and some of the things stated here are true with him - if he hid the fact it would be worse. He is not 'targeted' by other Prisoners just for being gay but I think is on a slightly heightened alert just because... Many Prisoners have approached him after seeing us in the visiting room and voiced their support of 'us' and these guys are definitely straight. Guards here are tolerant and quietly supportive. No real overt negative reactions.

You know, I am finding more basic acceptance with Prisoners than I ever expected. This is a learning experience for me and I am kind of surprised! I should not be because these men and women are feeling, caring individuals... I think that in the media and in general we only hear of abuse and not the good things. There would never be a news story or the ACLU would never publish a report of an accepted gay issue! LOL We just don't hear of the good things.... too bad...