I have a question. I would just like to know how many here, knowing the system and all, would turn their child (teenager) in if they found drugs in their room. Just would like some input.

ok.... well I don't have children... but I have worked with A LOT of adolescents... as a substance abuse counselor AND as a therapist working with foster care and at-risk kids....
I would recommend to parents that they NOT turn their kids in on a first offense... the reality is that once someone is "in the system" there are no guarantees that they are going to be treated fairly and it can be difficult to work your way OUT of the system (like we all don't know THAT!!)
I think parents DO have to set very firm boundaries though.... and a kid needs to be educated about how bringing drugs into the household puts EVERYONE who lives there at risk... there are possible consequences for the parents, etc, etc.... I think whether or not I would get police involved would also depend on what substance was discovered and in what amount.... as that would also be indicative of the level of the child's problem....
Such a discovery should NEVER just be ignored and of course there would have to be both consequences AND interventions implemented... but I don't think involvement of the Po-Po would be an option I would go for off the bat.... ;)

I agree with shawna

Knowing the system---no. Having worked in the system previously with kids and families and seeing what happens to the kids, parents and families---no. Consequences and help but no authorities......

Deb

No, not the first time. If he or she chooses to continue, then I would rather go through some sort of counseling/therapy first.

If they were resorting to illegal behavior to continue doing drugs -- then yes. As painful as it may be.

Just my 2 cents.

Val

How about a forth or fifth time? How would you treat the situation? Love BArbara

I think if my son or daughter continued to do drugs, then I would seek family counseling. My son is 15 and thankfully our relationship is one of open-communication and we talk about these things (my daughter's 9 and even we talk about these issues).

If I found drugs in his room I would be devastated but I would try to do the right thing for him and our family. I wouldn't turn him in to the police if he was doing drugs and not hurting anyone else (besides himself). Does that make sense? I mean if he was selling drugs, or stealing to get money to buy drugs (and that includes stealing from family) -- that's a totally different story.

I pray that I would never be put in that situation.

First time...no...sit down and have a nice little chat with jon or jane about the horrors of drug usage but in a way that doesn't make me the bad guy? I dunno how to explain that really.

Second time...you get two strikes with me...the second time you're going to the county jail for a nite...if I have to convince the sherrif myself that you should be locked up with a bunch of adults who are comin down, fine, I will.

as far as teenagers go, no way!!! what good will that do but make the child hate you and never trust you again? if it was a 30 year old child still living with his folks, and the folks found a huge amount of coke or something, then maybe.... but no way a teen!

If it was a contuined behavor, yes. You cant "fix" a drug problem. If you enable them to many times, it will get owrse.
I would not the first time, but for it to contue, yes I would, as bad as I wold hate it

I'm an addict and my mom knew it before even I did. My parents never turned me in - they kicked me out though. I managed to get my own self in enough trouble, without them (including legal trouble).

Give an addict enough rope - we'll find a way to get ourselves caught.

If you do... get them help, get them help, get them help! My son had a SERIUOS DRUG PROBLEM that's why he's where he is and I found this site! But remember IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT AND YOU CAN'T GET/KEEP SOMEONE OFF DRUGS UNLESS THEY WANT TO QUIT! God be with you! There is a light at the end of the tunnel, I'll try to flick it on so you can see it once in a while! Be strong! Cheryl

MY CHILDRENS FATHER IS IN PRISON FOR A MAX. OF 28 YEARS FOR SELLING DRUGS UNDER THE HABITUAL FELON LAW.MY KIDS ARE SCARED OF DRUGS, BUT IF I WERE TO CATCH THEM I DONT THINK ID CALL THE POLICE,I WOULD PROBABLY DO COUNSELING

When I was a teenager, my Dad had the feeling I was using. He threatened me he would turn me in. Actually, Ithought it was cool- he did scare the crap out of me and I still loved him. At least it took me some years to use again.
We had a little talk not too long ago- he would make sure to turn me in if I was to relapse and he found out. I know he would.

As I have seen now, talks don't really always make a difference. I have talked to my daughter a lot about choices and drugs. She doesn't know the whole truth about me.
As a teenager 'talks' went in one ear, out the other. UNTIL my dad told me what would happen to me.
This is hard to answer. In some way I think tough love is good- though I would hate to see my child treated as a criminal. But then on the other hand, I do believe she would open up to help.
I think I would turn her in and let her take a good look at her possible future.

I DONT THINK I COULD TURN MY CHILD IN TO THE COPS SIMPLY BECAUSE I HATE THIS SYSTEM OF OURS.....I HOPE I NEVER HAVE TO MAKE THAT DECISION

The results from your poll, shows me, most people here know that prison doesn't cure the drug problem. They tear family's apart, and no help for rehab. I would not turn my sons in ever! I would get them help.That is what doctors are for.Drug use is a medical problem.Always comunicate with your children.If minors, know were they are at all times. Teenagers might not like it, but that is just tough love. Doen't let you children tell you what they are going to do. You tell them what they are going to do.[ what I mean is do not let your children run over you ] Know your childrens friends., and parents.My middle Son is 12yrs old. He had gotten really mad at me because I wouldn't let him go to a game room, where teens hung out. A girl from his school got drunk and walk out onto a very busy hwy. . She got run over. Thank God she lived. My boy said mom, now I kind of understand why you do what you do. He doesn't realize, Mom has been there.Before I close, JUST TALK TO YOU CHILDREN, AND ALWAYS LISTEN TO THEM. God Bless Ya'll, tx mom

you are correct, it does'nt. But i know that when the behavoir contunes, that is a first step to open their eyes. I do NOT like the system, never have and it simply breaks my heart.
The System is not the answer, but it is a step to open their eyes. Of course in all honesty, not being in those shoes, it is a hard call

Knowing how our system is, I would not turn them into the police, but I would seek professional counseling hoping to "nip the problem in the bud".

I just saw this thread and wanted to add my 2 cents. As a child, well mostly teenager on into probably a very few years ago, I did drugs. My parents never turned me in, nor ever kisked me out. How did I pay them back for their love? I left home at 16 and never went back. I then proceeded to charge up credit in their name and everything else, which my dad has always, ALWAYS bailed me out of. I never went to jail, until I was arrested with a so called friend this Feb. for shoplifting, and was taken to jail for the 1st time in my 32 yesrs. I spent a whole 5 hrs. there, daddy bailed me out. My point here I guess is that kids will do what they are allowed to do. There are many outlets out there now such as home drug testing, counseling, intervention, etc. that can be used as alternatives to actually turning your child in. I would never do that because I know how the system is and once you're in, you're in, and you always come out at least a little messed up from what you have to see on the inside.
diane

I would absolutely NOT turn my kids in. I would seek help thru rehab and counseling. I was a child on drugs and went to rehab at 16 yrs. old and found a wonderful way to deal with my addiction and learn how to cope with life through other methods. Jail is NOT the answer for anybody addicted or experimenting. I know first hand that people using drugs have underlying issues that need to be addressed. Locking them up only fuels the fire, and they come out with NO better understanding then when they went in. WE CAN SAVE OUR PEOPLE! I totally believe that!
Stacy

Problem is they have to WANT help to get it

In my family we have ways to deal with the drug issue. And from one of the kids that had to go thruogh it (I was 15 at the time) I would have rather delt with the cops... But it worked for me and my brothers and sisters (ther are 14 of us kids in all)... And a few cousins as well.. So I would stick to the tried and true method...

Well having a teenage daughter myself, I can honestly say that I would not turn her in. My husband is doing time for drugs, and I truly think that what my duaghter saw when her stepdad was "high" made a big impact on her.

I worry more about her with alcohol (she doesnt drink now) but her father is an alcoholic and so was his mother. I get upset that so many people talk about drugs yet there are so many killed when alcohol is in use.

If however, my child had a problem and my helping her didn't work and the pattern contimued, then I would try and seek help thru other sources.

Godspeed
Debbie

I have been faced with this very situation ... there was a lot of screaming, crying, pleading, counceling, threatening, more screaming and crying ... not necessarily in that order nor in his presences ... never did solve that little (duh, BIG) problem before "his" actions brought the law in to the picture ... so I never had to make that final decision ...

It's becoming common practice for parents to use the justice system as a leverage to scare their kids into stopping the use of drugs. I see this as a problem because the justice system is not there to rehabilitate drug users. They warehouse and that is all they do. It is not their job to counsel and counseling is exactly what children need. I'm an addict myself and it took me years to get the help I needed. Being incarcerated just made me bitter. It could be the first time was just testing the waters, but if your child's drug use continues I wouldn't hesitate to slam him/her into treatment. It saved my life. Beta

Good topic. My teenagers have experimented with pot. At first it bothered me but, as an ex-addict, I do remember where I came from. No I would not turn my children in to the cops. I would find help for them before it's too late.
Aloha. Kaleilehua

I can understand where everyone is coming from...sayng they would not call the police on their children. My parents calling the police on me, going to jail snapped me into reality. I went to treatment right from jail and quite frankly I owe my parents my life and them calling the law on me was the best most loving thing they could have ever done and I would do the same thing if one of my children was headed down the same road I was..

I would not do it as my first resort tho..I would use it as my last.

Sorry, but I have been going through the system with my man and seeing him messed up because of it. I don't want that for my kids. I guess it matters most if my kid is selling or using. If he's using then I would want him to get help. If he's selling then I really don't know what I would do or say. But I know that I would look to my man who's serving time for dealing to help my kid understand what it is he's doing to other people and thier families. Right now, it isn't the fact that D's locked up that gets to him. Its the guilt that he has caused a lot of suffering to people and making them suffer the great cost of their addiction so that he can make a little money. It tears him up and I can see it in his face when we talk about it. He says, baby I'm a sinner look what I've done and didn't even think about it. Now I don't have a choice but to think about it and I feel like an a******. And I don't have anything to say. Because now WE as a family have to suffer, the people he served are suffering, their families are suffering... Anyways, I just hope that my kids don't go that route and I hope that I can teach them well, while they are still young...

Originally posted by beta42956
It's becoming common practice for parents to use the justice system as a leverage to scare their kids into stopping the use of drugs. I see this as a problem because the justice system is not there to rehabilitate drug users. They warehouse and that is all they do. It is not their job to counsel and counseling is exactly what children need.


Beta,

I couldn't agree with you more. The last thing I would do with my child is call the authorities. With so many other options available why start with the last resort, first?

I had first hand experience with my son that is back in jail...I was a nurse....suppose to know all the signs...NOT...when my son was 16 i knew for sure he had a drug problem...he had been in counseling since 4th grade....had to have him baker acted at 16 and then we knew....i called the cops alot but never for his drug use.....one day he stole an old check book and started taking his "friends" out ....clothes, gas, food,etc...started getting letters saying our checks bounced...well duh...it was a closed account....we tried to have him commited but insurance doesn't cover that much....apporx...3500 a month to live in....finally found assistance through an agency to pay for it....but he had to voluntarily commit himself....the bribe....i wll not press charges on the 2000+ dollars worth of checks if you go in....he did go in...for 9 months....came out did drugs again...started stealing from us again...i swear we have a stereo that over the years we've paid $!000 for....lol...bottom line not even calling the cops would have helped...he wanted to do drugs....prison has drugs too...he could still get them...even when he was released this last time all he could talk about was when he got off of parole how he will smoke weed again....
christine

I just don't think so. I would try everything else, and i mean everything. I would be afraid that he/she would never get out from under their thumb...per say..kids will try things..lord no's i did..thank god my folks did turn me in...only flushed the drugs down the toilet...what a day to remember..I thank god for them every day....

Denisej

I have 3 kids at home, one of whom is a teenager. Tough question when I first think about it, but ultimately my answer would be "no". Not if I love my child. Yeah I can hear you already, but seriously!!! If I love my child I want them to get help for their problem. Putting them in jail in our current system is a surefire guarantee that they'll not only NOT get the help they need, but will come out with more problems than they went in with. HELL NO.

With Mandatory Minimums being what they are, should my kid get busted say when she's 18, I could be sending her to hell for 10 years or more. If I'm pro-legalization, which I am, and married to a man inprisoned for drugs who simply needed friggen TREATMENT and a LOT of it, I'd be the biggest bloody hypocrite in the world to turn in my own child. I couldn't live with myself.

I know that prison wont make an difference in a positive way to my kid, it would only cause damage. I would deal with it in a totally different way but it would involve very heavy duty lifestyle changes, councilling with me involved, and a whole lot of tough love as well as a major reality check of what drugs do to people and the ones that love them. But I believe in the reality check before the drugs start. I've always believed in giving my son a reality check when its needed and never hold back on anything, Let them see with their own eyes how bad it is.
The way the system is now, its all so hidden and unknown to the average Joe. It reminds me of when my best friend died of aids, if they showed on their commercials for the Aids prevention what it was really like to die of Aids, how really unbelievably bad it is, it would have a mighty impact on teens and pre-teens and adults. Its the same with drugs I figure, the ads on tv and the stuff my son brings home from school doesnt even come close to reality in my opinion, how bad it really is to be addicted to drugs. Knowledge is a powerful thing and I think we under-estimate our children and teens sometimes, I think they can handle the truth, and the truth is ugly and its up to the people that love them to make sure that they know how ugly it really is. They might do it anyway, unfortunately that is the heartbreak. If I found drugs in my son's room I would find an alternative way to help him and it certainly wouldnt include the law, after all it would be help he needed not punishment. Just my two cents, the criminal system doesnt work for addicts, how can it, tough love and non-enabling love does or nothing will, they have to decide for themselves but if its my kid, I will do what ever it takes to put them back on the right road.

Originally posted by samiam158
....the bribe....i wll not press charges on the 2000+ dollars worth of checks if you go in....he did go in...for 9 months....came out did drugs again...started stealing from us again...

THe worst mistake you can do.

Never ever ever ever prioritize a 'drug problem' over crimes of dishonesty (fraud, theft).

His greatest offence was to commit crimes of dishonesty. Not drugs.

You can get a job in good companies with a drug history. You can NOT do so with crimes of dishonesty!

There is a HUGE difference!
Crime against another person vs. 'crime' against ones own body.
HUGE DIFFERENCE. HUGE.

The latter is what you should havd focused on. The dishonesty, not the drug.

I don't have kids either, but if I did, I would not turn them in either. I would just flush it down the toilet and then not allow them to go out with their friends anymoe if it continued.

I would also not force them into counseling. Forcing never works. You have to WANT to get help first, otherwise, complete waste of time.

Well I dont know for sure about that, being a parent myself, I feel that its my responsibilty as a parent to know what is best for my child, just like I dont want him doing drugs, going to prison or that I think he needs to see a doctor, or that he needs to see a therapist or counseling. Its my responsibility to recognize that my son would need anything for his spiritual, physical, mental well being, that after all is part of what parenting is all about. When he is older he can decide if he needs it or not if the need arises that is.

Well, my post will read a bit different than most here. Let me first tell you that I have found drugs in my daughters room. After witnessing her addiction, therapy, out patient, in-patient, mental health treatment, drug treatment, home monitering, suicide attempts, curfew violations, shoplifting, vandelism, failing school, juvenile court, self mutilation and this is not all, I would have to say yes I would turn her in. Why? Perhaps if I had done that 3 or 4 years ago she would not be sitting in prison now at the ripe ole age of 16.

I, along with school administrators, police, prosecutors, judges, therapists are guilty of giving all of the second, third and 100 last chances she received over the last 3 years. All those "last" chances did was give her more rope and a feeling of being slick-like she got away with it again. Well, the chances finally ran out and in prison is where she is-for a MINIMUM of a year.

She is doing well there and I and the rest of her family are learning how to cope but, I can tell you now that if I had to do over,the first pill or blunt I saw would put me in touch with the law as soon as possible. Maybe if she had been arrested and charged the first time-I wouldn't have to wait until now to tell you how bad it can get.

I know this sounds like I am mad and bitter however, let me tell you-my daughter and I have discussed how I feel and she agrees. I love this child more than I could ever type out in words, I would do anything for her. But, I will not lie, cheat or steal for anyone. I pray that this prison term she is serving is her rock bottom and I also pray that none of you or your loved ones have to see a child go through what this child has been through.

I hope this makes sense.

~Debra

Debra- your post makes alot of sense. Truthfully, watching what my boyfriend has been through with drugs, I don't know what I would do. This is such a hard thing to deal with. I don't think there is a right or wrong answer here- it just depends on your situation I guess.
Thank you for your post- I hope your daughter takes this time to get herself on track.

I would have to say not to turn your kid in to the cops at first. If they continue even after multiple confrentations,then maybe call the cops. if it's just weed never call the cops!

As a Mother now & a Wife of a Crack Addict I would surely if I ever found drugs in my son's room the first thing I would do is get him help and if that doesn't help him then I don't know what I would do next. A life of a drug lifestyle is in Jail or Dead and if my son chooses that lifestyle then be it but before that I will do whatever possible to try and get him sober and not have him be a addict.

I had to vote not sure, it would depend on the situation and the child.

I don't have kids of my own but, one of my best friends has been going through hell with her 17 yr old son. He's been sneeking out at night, getting arrested for under-age drinking, doing drugs etc.. He's been arrested several times but the Judge hasn't done a thing, so now this kid thinks he can do whatever he wants and get away with it. At 17 he should be a SR in high school this fall but he only has the credits of a Freshman from skipping class. I know that she is beside herself, however, calling the cops, talking to the judge in court etc.. hasn't done a thing or had any effect on her son.

Its a tough call when it comes to your own kid. I know she's done pretty much all she can and the system certainly hasn't helped her any.

There's just no easy answer to this questions, as with many things, its a very personal decision you have to live with for the rest of your life and one I don't think any parent would take lightly.

Just my .02

Wow.. i don't think i have ever even heard of someones parents turning their own child in for drug possession.. to me that is just CRAZY!! But i guess it all depends on what they are doing.. I am not saying that i would condone my teenager dealing drugs.. but to be in possession of say, Marijuana, for his or her own personal use.. i could care less.. but i mean if my teenager had his or her own set-up going with a hotplate and blocks of coke and stuff.. i would seek help anywhere BUT the police..

I cannot even think of the countless times i brought weed, hash, and oil into my parents house.. and it was always my own stash... i don't even smoke ANY of those things anymore and I'm only 25... when you are a teenager you experiment and it is perfectly natural..

Plus, i can't say that i would respect my parents wishes even if they told me not to bring it into their house.. i would have still sneaked it in, and found a better hiding spot.. but i don't consider ANY of what i used to do bad.. so to call the cops on me would have been completely RIDICULOUS!!!

Therefore, I feel that it depends on the drugs, the amounts, the intentions (personal use vs. selling) of my teenager before i would seek any help outside the home.. I would also probably sit them down and show them the laws and the consequences of their actions if i found out they were selling drugs. I would let them know what kind of health problems they may encounter if i found out they were using chemical drugs. I would seek rehabilitation type help if I believed they had a serious drug problem..

But NEVER, under any circumstances (aside from behaving in a manner that would be a danger/threat to themself or any other human being) would i call the cops..

This is tough for me to say but I have to. If I had known that my son was doing anything with drugs when he was a teen, then I would have had to get him help anyway I could. If he chose to never speak to me again then at least I would have known that he had a chance in life as a drug free person rather than in the cemetery from a drug overdose. He would still be alive. T

There are horrible stories from prison, but not all situations are like that. Here in the town that I live in the Drug Task Force has a bad name and reputation. They HELPED my son. They knew that he was a good person, they knew he had a good heart and they knew he was caught up in drugs as bad as anyone person could be. He was arrested three times for manufacturing. The first time it was not his and he didnt know about it, he was released on a $50,000.00 bond. The second time he was on his way to make a batch and was caught with a bunch of cold tablets. They were able to charge him because of the first charge that he was out on bond for. This time his bond was $7,500.00. The last time they impounded both of his vehicles and found a lab and marijuana in them. He was charged again and his bond was set at $302,000.00. He admitted to the task force officer on the way to jail that he had a problem. He stayed in the County Jail from February until May and he was court ordered to a drug rehab (at our request) about two hours from home. The task forcer officers helped us to get him there. If they had bucked against it he would still be in jail. Since being at the rehab he has changed his life, given his heart to God, and is finally being a son, father and husband in eveyway possible to his family. Had he still been on the street he surely would have killed someone or been killed himself. Did I turn my son in? Yes I did. Am I proud of that, NO WAY. Did it hurt? LIKE HELL. Still hurts everyday...but at least he is alive. Knowing that they could charge him as a habitual offender and possibly give him Life without parole.....I left that part up to God and thankfully it worked out for us. He may still yet have to go to prison, depending on how he completes this year long drug program, but I believe that God will prevail there too.

The results from your poll, shows me, most people here know that prison doesn't cure the drug problem. They tear family's apart, and no help for rehab. I would not turn my sons in ever! I would get them help.That is what doctors are for.Drug use is a medical problem.Always comunicate with your children.If minors, know were they are at all times. Teenagers might not like it, but that is just tough love. Doen't let you children tell you what they are going to do. You tell them what they are going to do.[ what I mean is do not let your children run over you ] Know your childrens friends., and parents.My middle Son is 12yrs old. He had gotten really mad at me because I wouldn't let him go to a game room, where teens hung out. A girl from his school got drunk and walk out onto a very busy hwy. . She got run over. Thank God she lived. My boy said mom, now I kind of understand why you do what you do. He doesn't realize, Mom has been there.Before I close, JUST TALK TO YOU CHILDREN, AND ALWAYS LISTEN TO THEM. God Bless Ya'll, tx mom

I have to disagree with you on the part that said prisons tear families apart. Prisons do NOT tear families apart. They will make them stronger if you allow them to. The drugs are what tears families apart. The drugs will destroy your family, your friends, your homes, your finances. The drugs will destroy you. I use to say always that Crystal Meth was killing me and I had never saw any of it....but it was killing me. I was allowing it to destroy me, by worrying all the time, keeping myself worked up to the point of a heartattack. When my son went to jail and got his head clear, it brought my family back together. My other son was going to beat his addiction own his own he didnt need any help.....yeah right. He moved in with me, we got close and I thought well maybe.......he is right back out doing the same old thing and we never even talk anymore, He doesnot live in my house anymore...but he put the screws to me financially before hand.

I would not unless it was a very serious problem that threated there life. Take every avenue you can find outside of the system. When there are no more options or you feel your child may die then absolutely do what you must to keep them alive.

When you have to stand by helplessly and watch someone you love try to KILL the mother of their child because he is so strung out on drugs you can't do much else. Trust me. You dont know until you have walked in those shoes.

NEVER

I'd take them to meetings. I would share my experience and what drugs have done to me. I'd probably take them to a convalescent hospital, enter them into a program that allowed them to tour the jails/prisons/mental hospitals.

But I would NEVER turn them into the police unless whatever they did could make me an accessory

I have avoided this thread since it first began so long ago, because I didn't know how to answer it.
Truthfully, I still don't.
My first reaction is no way would I ever turn my kid into the police.
But after reading, and thinking, and dealing with my heroin addict boyfriend (who has been clean for a while now thank god) I have to say my original opinion has changed a bit.
I would rather turn my son/daughter into the police alive, (and have them hate me for a while), then to have them od and die, or kill someone else, etc. (This wouldn't be the first thing I would do, but it damn well would happen before I ended up burying them) I know that prison isn't a treatment center, however, I believe it can scare people into not using. My boyfriend had been in and out of countless inpatient and outpatient rehab centers for the past 19 years. He went to a methadone clinic for over a year- he did everything he could to stay straight. But nothing scared him enough to make that happen-not even the fear of dying. He always thought he could get away with it.
The fear of prison changed that. He does not want to ever go back there again, and he knows that the only way he will is if he gets hooked again.
So- I guess I am saying that if you can't teach your kids to not use, if you can't scare them straight by showing them what drugs can and will do to their bodies, maybe the fear of losing their freedom will do it.
I don't know- it's a tough question and it is obviously much easier for me to say what I might or might not do right now cuz I don't have kids yet. Maybe my mind will change if I ever have children, maybe not.
My boyfriend always told me that as much as he hated being locked up, it saved his life.
There are other options of course, but if those don't work, I would turn my own kid in.

I diffently would never turn my child in for that.... I never want my son to be in the system let alone me put him in it... Thats juss my imput....

love christina

NEVER EVER NOT IN A MILLION YEARS!!!!

I don't have any compassion for parents who do this to their own children. That isn't the way to slove the problem, comunication is the key and being close to your children, not locking them away to try and "teach them a lesson"
To those who have or who would if they were put in that situation think about this... if you owned a dog and it dug up your favourite tulips or whatever would you lock them up?, i don't think so, so what makes it ok for you to lock away your own flesh and blod for the good of humanity? This just makes me sick!.

Jeni, my husband also used, has been in and out or rehab, and none of this worked!, not even prison, he writes to me and tells me just how much he still craves for it, but he doesn't do it because he knows that he would loose me and the kids.
The thing that scared him the most was he was waiting for a phone call from me and couldn't move to answer it, he could feel himself slipping away, that's what scared him the most, then waking up 4 days later with a tube down his throat attached to a ventilator, he was in intensive care for 3 weeks. Prison isn't the answer.
Just my opinion and 2 cents worth.

Never, because it would only make them distrust me and wouldn't help them quit. I would never look to the court system or police for help or justice.

He$$ NO, with the crooked system we have. But they would not be able to sit down for a he$$ of a long time. Then I would have a serious talk and tell them the next time off you go to jail. (this is a bluff) hoping they believe me. And they would believe me cause they KNOW ME,

Well, I have read and digested everyone of your responses. My son first started smoking pot in his early teens, and I used to raise HELL with him for it, and even threw out his friends several times when I found out. Other than that, he was an absolutely great kid. What got him into trouble WAS our legal system. When he was 19, he got into a domestic dispute with my grandson's mother (he didn't hurt her.. she just wanted him out of their apartment and called and reported a domestic). He was put on probation. They do drug testing. He could no longer use pot. So, instead, he turned to meth, because it doesn't stay in your system as long. He got hooked. He violated probation twice for bad UA's, and had 2 misdemeanor possession charges. He was put in PRISON for 8 months for 2 misdemeanors. No drug treatment was offered because the waiting list was too long. He was released and had nothing to his name, so moved back home.

He couldn't find a job and found an easier way to make money by dealing drugs. My home was raided last summer by about 20 drug task force agents. He is now serving 25 years in prison for his first felony. He was told that either he plea for a sentence of 25 years, or go to trial for a possible sentence of 75+ years.

I begged, pleaded, fought and sought counseling for him (he was also using). He refused to go, saying that he didn't need it. I couldn't force him to do anything. I even threw him out of the house. If it hadn't been for the fact that he has a little boy, I would never have let him back in, and he knew it..

I, to this day, would NEVER have turned him it. They will eventually get caught. They always do. Pam, I wish my son had been as lucky as yours. All the drug task force wanted to do to him was see him spend the rest of his life in prison.

I have some really good friends in the pd here. No I dont work for the pd I run a Towing and recovery co. because of that I have become friends with a few officers and I would have them scare the HELL out of my child!!!

I don't even want to read all these posts, its really easy for me NO NO NO NO....I would not turn my child in, get them help...YES, but police??? HELL NOOOOOOOOO

NO> Not knowing how the system works. From what I hear, they can get more drugs in the prisons than they can on the streets. Prison isn't going to stop the drug issues. I would put my child in a residential drug rehab. program and go from there.

No. The first time I would be very angry and we would have some serious discussions on what drugs do to you and where they get you in life and depending on the age there may be a good old paddeling! The second time, (also depending on age) i would feel obligated to kick them out the door to show them that i don't condone their actions and they are not doing it in my house. No matter how old they are, at this point re-hab is a must.

Does this have anything to do with your child?

I have a feeling it does. Be honest, Kim.

would I INVITE the authorities in my life, AGAIN? no. would I whup that kids butt? yes. it's all about prevention, not waiting for stuff like that to happen... and if it does, taking care of your own business, instead of looking to the state to intervene. the states want those numbers, not necessarily to help you child!

my kids football games last night, this is fifth grade now- was making references to drugs....so please don't think that they don't already know what's up. I am assuming that this kid has an older sibling- or watched it on TV. I don't know where that kid got it from, but I know that MY kid probably knows then, too.. so I am discussing these things with my sons. and praying. hopefully it takes. another thing is that we have to stop letting teens run the streets and just hope that they are behaving and telling us the truth about what they are doing........just my .02

i would never under any circumstances turn my kid in. the way our government instills disicipline, would only make matters worse. i know too many people that started thier cycle of hell in the system when they were just teens. i had a problem with coke, my fiance had a problem with that and several other drugs. infact thats why hes sitting right now...clean and healthy. if we ever found drugs in our kids room, i think we know enough between the two of us to help our children...instead of throwing them to the wolves.

quick question: dont you have to find something in your kids room by digging around, and breaking there trust in you. thats another thing i could never bring myself to invade my childs privacy.

As a sibling of a drug user ( my brother who is 7 yrs older used drugs) I can see what this does to a family. My brother was kicked out of 3 different schools more then once all by time he was 15. The police were involved but I don't know if that is always a good way to go. My brother was sent to a school for drug and alcohol users to get education and therapy but he was soon back on the drugs. Yes I'm sure it is hard as a parent but I believe you have to stand your ground against the drug use. My parents continually let my brother move in and out and was either in denial or just quit caring about my brother's drug use. This ended up with me at 14 yrs old and him at 20 putting me through such severe beatings that I almost called the police and made a plot to kill my own brother. So I"m asking if there are any younger siblings that you take a very tough stand. Cause this does not only effect one child. Since then my brother is no longer using he has his own child but I have continually struggled with alcohol abuse and my parents have no clue I've ever drank.Sorry for going off for so long I just wanted others to see how drug use can effect an entire family.

I clicked on Yes and No for about 5 minutes before being honest with myself and saying NO. As a first offense, I would probably no result to the proper authorities, but there is no second time for my kid. I would explain to them the seriousness of the situation, and tell them NEXT time they deal with the Police.

I turned in my husband 3 times to his parole officer. I have no problem doing this. My husband was putting himself and his whole family in serious risk. It was his own doing, but I wasn't going to sacrafice the welfare of my family for something as awful as drugs.:(

I could never turn my child in for anything. That doesn't mean he wouldn't get punished for it, but I would most certainly NEVER call the police on my child.

I called for help with my 17 year old son as he was addicted to Crack and was trying to commit suicide...what a mistake...All I did was get him into the "System" and he ended up getting charges on him while they were taking him to a rehab hospital because he threatened the police....He is serving four years now....because the local cops were always after him because of the threats he made while under the influence....he was caught with a firearm in his possession....3 months after he turned 18. I still wonder if I should have called for help or just waited to see what he was going to do...he is alive. I am so hurt and heartbroken over all this....What do you do? I couldn't bear to think he was going to kill himself....I could never get the help I was seeking for him....it wasn't prison time it was drug help.....you can't win once they are in the "System" They just lock them away....

That is so sad. When the proper resources arent there, what do you do ??? There needs to be more options.