Hey,

My name is Teb, and I am a Moderator at PTO.

We have opened this Forum to specifically address issues that affect Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgendered People in prison.

A little of my story...

I am a gay man living in Canada, and my Partner is incarcerated in Missouri. We have less than three years left in our sentence at this point.

In general we have been lucky and treated fairly by the Missouri DOC, but there are many Gay Prisoners and same sex Partners that have not been treated fairly in other states and prison administrations.

I am joined by Philippe (Phil in Paris) as a C0-Moderator of this Forum and we want you to feel comfortable in this Forum that you will be accepted and not judged. If you have an issue that you do not feel comfortable exposing openly, then I encourage you to Private Message either myself or Philippe and we can work with you behind the scenes confidentially.

This Forum is for all members of PTO to participate in whether you have a tie to a GLBT person in prison or not. This Forum was however opened for the family, friends, same sex Partners, and loved ones supporting a GLBT person in prison.

Please note the Forum Introduction that is posted at the top of this Forum as it contains the general introduction in more detail and the code of conduct for this forum. You can go to the Introduction by clicking the following link.

http://www.prisontalk.com/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=11823

Hello: My user name is Patch, but in real life I go by Chris and I am also here because of my involvement in the penal systems. Unfortunatley, I have two siblings who are generally incarcerated far more than they are free; I call it the revolving door syndrome. And up until recently, I was involve with my samesex partner, Terry, who is to be release from prison in only seven days.

I believe a forum such as this is not only necessary in our plight for equality within a society that often times ignores the fundamentals of our needs. But also because I believe that issues involving incarerated gay men and women and their family members, samesex partners, and friends are unique. Thus, I am hoping to learn all that I can, while at the same time helping as much as I can. Please feel free to email me or send me a private message if I help in any way.

Chris

did you say 7 days? omg. am i suppose to be writing in here?
I am sorry if i am not suppoe to be, if not please delte teb, i just so got excited/

It's cool lulu... and yes, Terry get's out in 7 days, though he is not coming home. :(

Teb: Please remember to put this thread as a sticky so it does not keep going down the line of posted threads.. thanks

Chris

Hi, my name is Pookie. It is both my screen name and my real family nickname. I am gay and my boyfriend, Timothy, is incarcerated in a Texas federal prison. Currently, I live in Chicago and we plan to be together after his release in about 3.5 years from now. We are both born within 2 weeks of each other of the same year, (we're both 32) and it is so weird how we think alike on just about everything. :)

As far as this forum is concerned, I think this forum was very much needed. Although we are in waiting, going through the agony of patience, dealing with "the system" just like our hetero counterparts, we as gays have different issues to contend with on top of the normal issues. For me and Tim, being gay is something we both deal with in relation to the federal system and many other systems for that matter. Tim is a white cowboy, and I am a black cityboy. lolol But our different backgrounds and our hearts seem to compliment each other so perfectly. Can you tell that I am glad about this forum? haha Gosh, look at this long post!!

I also think the timing of this forum couldn't have come at a better time. I must say that everyone at PTO have always been sweet toward me from day 1, and I have always felt comfortable here 100%. However, it is still beneficial to new incoming gays, bisexuals, lesbians, etc..... that they automatically know that they don't have to feel shy about being a part of the group and posting their experience with their incarcerated loved one. Also, we current gay members can discuss other topics directly affecting us that maybe other straight members may not know how to address. Some may, but most may not.

Even though Ken and Philly already know that I support them in this effort all the way, I want to take this time to publicly say that you buddy ol pals got my full support and anything you need, just let ol Poo Poo know and I will do my best to help. And that is the same with all on PTO. :) And I also want to add that I really admire the experience that Patch brings to me in particular. We've got a good team and it is getting even more effective and unique. Cool huh? :D


pookie

hi everyone,

my name is emme and i am a moderator here...

i am a straight woman who loves and is in love with a straight prisoner...but...i also love many gay men, lesbians, bisexuals, transgendered folks...and every other human being who isn't a jerk :D...my point in posting here is to voice my support and my welcomes to those who are the loved ones of incarcerated GLBT folks, and to let you know that there is support for you all over pto.

may your time here be happy and productive, and may you find strength, hope and knowledge here at prisontalk online.

all the best,
emme

Hi ...i am sherri and i am also a moderator here..i am straight but like Emme appreciate the addition of this forum and am certain it will be a great forum for not only GLBT members and their loved ones but for all of us here at PTO...

I too extend my welcome and support , and want to reinforce that as Emme said there is love and support for you all over PTO!!

Pookie:

Please allow me to say welcome... and thank you for the kind words. I believe everyone in PTO has value in what they have to offer. And as this forum grows from the many team members who come here, be they str8, gay, bi or transgendered. It is sure to be a most educational adventure filled full of laughs, tears, screams of joy and sometimes hmmm's I didn't think of that.

It is my hope that we can make a powerful impact not only in our support for each other, but in striving to change the penal system mentality one step at a time. It is therefore of the utmost importance to check this forum regularly and to lend a helping hand where you or anyone feels comfortable. And maybe in the process, we can all learn from each other's thoughts and experiences.... Oh and by the way, seeing as how I am a Cowboy too... You're in good hands here in PTO hehe :D

Emme and Sherri13... Thank you for your support and encouragement... it means a lot to all of us when people can see the value in just being human beings... no lables and no prejudices imposed... just simply being humanbeings. So thank you from one queen to the next (just joking LOL).

Chris

In offline life I'm often the token straight female in an absolutely wonderful group of gay men who've been some of the biggest lights of my life for over a decade now, so I'm pleased as punch about the new forum for some more absolutely wonderful PTO folks! Much support and hugs and hope y'all have a blast with the new sandbox here :)

Luv,
Lys

Wow in one night, this forum has grown up a lot !!! We just started last night with Teb when I was on my way to bed !! Time difference sucks !!!

So Hello,

I'm Phil, I live in Paris France, I'm gay and I co-moderate this new forum with Teb.

Joey my boyfriend is currently incarcerated in Florida, and will be for the next 9 years. :(

As Teb already said, this forum is open to anyone having a G L B or T loved one friend or parents, as well as anyone else who is GLBT friendly. So please feel free to come visit us, we know how to party !!! :D

Anyone who feels like talking about anything in a private way, is very welcome to PM me or e-mail me at:

phil@prisontalk.com

I will always be here for you, whether you need help,information, support or just an ear to listen to you or a shoulder to lean on.

Patch and Pookie, I'm happy to meet you there, and I know you will be active, supportive and efficient.

Lulu, Emme, Sherri and Lysbeth, thank you for your visit and your kind words, you'll always be welcome here as well as others.

David (FedEx), thanks for this forum. You really are a great man !!! :)

All the best.
Phil

aw, I love this thread. :)
My name is lulu and i am as will straight, but i love all people as well.

Chris, wow, 7 days, that is like really exciting.
excuse me, how come phil gets a PTO email? and how do you use that Phil? In your out look or what?

Hi... just wanted to peek in and tell you I think it is GREAT that you guys opened this forum. Quite straight here, but I love you all and will be a regular viewer in this forum.

Tanya

Thanks for the support! It is great to know that many will participate in this new Forum!

Hi everyone... I'm Jody... a bi female, currently living in Texas.

I guess you could say I was 'in the closet' for many years, until I went to prison. Oddly enough, it was the only place I had found, at that point in time, that actually accepted same-sex relationships. Upon my release, I was in the first relationship with a woman, where we didn't keep it a big secret.

While I am now in a relationship with Dale, and love him very much... I don't know, I was thinking maybe my past might help someone. I know what it was like dealing with peoples' attitudes and opinions about being with another woman... on the inside and out!

I think this was a wonderful forum to open, and I will frequent it often!

Jodygirl

hello Jodygirl.... welcome and let me be the first to say that we need your point of view, not just from the female perspective and being incarcerated, but also from your being bi... both of which will be very valuable here and very much appreciated...

Chris

Hey Jody, thanks for sharing! Good to have you around!

Hi Jody, welcome aboard !! :) :)

hehehe... I feel like I was just welcomed to PTO all over again! :)

This is a great forum. I am also straight but I have been friends with a lot of gay people. I like to think I have a very open mind. Keep up the great work here at pto. I couldn't do this without you, we all need each other.

Thanks
Nancy (nanuu)

Hi Nancy

Thanks very much for your visit :)

All my best wishes
Phil

Hey there Nancy, so glad you like the forum. :D

pookie

Hi, I'm completely new to the forum but I am glad I found it because I am a gay man and have been looking for a safe place where there might be some like-minded individuals to talk about prison real life prison relationships. My story is a little different from most. I don't have a boyfriend who is locked up. I generally am attracted to the kinds of men who either are behind bars, have been behind bars, or end up being locked up (in gay lingo, these kinds of men are commonly referred to as "trade" or "rough trade"). I'm not ashamed of it at all. It's what I like. I just have very few people I can talk to about it.

I thought I'd give some background on me and how I came about my interest in what is commonly known as "trade".

I'm in my 30s now, African American male, but started hanging out in the streets and in the clubs as early as 15. I was one of those rare kids from the 80's who lived like a Cosby Kid in the daytime, did my school work, was a perfect little angel, then hung out on the streets and in the clubs all night (No, I did not live with my parents in case you're wondering. I was away at a private school). I have always been more fascinated with and befriended the rougher, more masculine and muscular guys growing up. I grew up on the "nicer", more affluent side of town with almost no Blacks and Latinos, and "so that I would always know where I came from", my dad always made sure I made friends with his friends' sons, who were Black and Latino and lived on the "other" (poorer) side of town, where he grew up. That's probably where my interest in things that are not stuffy, bourgeousie or middle-class got started. In the gay clubs in my city and the environment around them is where I learned about street life and street trade, and how it intertwined with gay life. Early in my mid teens, in the clubs and the strip around the clubs, I gradually met and hustlers, hookers, pool sharks, dope dealers and dope fiends that all kind of hung around the area of some particularly seedier Black gay bars where I went, and learned a lot about them, carefully keeping in tune with the scene even after finishing college and taking a white-collar position. Even volunteering my time by doing things like tutoring illiterate inmates, which in a strange way really kept me on my toes and modest at the same time.

Although I am professional man, I do enjoy having friends from all aspects of life. In my love/sex life however, nothing for me beats a blue-collar or even street-wise man. For me it's not a fantasy, it's actually part of my reality, it is what makes me most comfortable in my personal life (which is very different from my professional or educational life). I am not talking about the "thug" posers that are currently all the rage in the nightclubs and various chat rooms, but just a regular, low-key, low-maintenance masculine blue-collar type man, with the kind of build that I like and all (very muscular). I have been doing this for about 17 years now, and I like to think that I know the difference between what's real and what's phoney.

I also like every now and then, on my off time, shooting the breeze with street guys -- even prisoners -- and have communicated as pen pals and buddies with quite a number of inmates over the years, but I'm aware enough to know that it is exactly what it is. I do not expect anything and do not give more that I can afford to lose. But I admit that a couple of them really tug at my heart strings!

My good gay/bisexual friends know about my preference in a type of man. I'm probably the only one of my group that has this preference (or at least the only one who openly admits to it). My buddies know that if we see a buff roughneck blue-collar brother walking down the block then my eyes will light up, and that they can have the tax accountants or model/actor/waiters or whatever to themselves.

Anyway, that's my story for now. If any other posters cam relate to my personal story or have something to add, then please feel free.

Hi and welcome to PTO. You will soon see all the loving people here at PTO and welcome all people. Good to have you with us

Well,

Linda and I were discussing this thread and I wanted us to write an introduction of us here together. She said well, Honey, I wrote the last one this one is yours! LOL! But, to tell you the truth she did a great job and I'm not sure how to follow!

I do want to add a few comments to her intro in the introductions forum - from my point of view.

As she said we did meet in church in 1995, both of us were married then, Jerry, her husband was a wonderful human being who was just the dearest man I have known.

Linda and Jerry were a wonderful pair and great friends to me and my son and youngest daughter. Jerry passed away not long after we met. Linda and her two daughters and son were devastated. As were we. Jerry was not only a dear friend to us along with Linda, the two of them helped my family survive a horrible divorce.

Jerry was a better father to my children, James and Sara, than their own parent Charlie was. Just by his mere presence one weekend Jerry saved my daughters life and mine. For my ex had decided that he was better off if we were dead.

We all miss Jerry.

Linda and I remained friends for a time after Jerry's passing.

We had never even considered a same sex relationship. But, over time things changed - all I can say is: We fell in love!

And as for me, that was the best thing that has ever happened in my life.

She talks about my humor, hah! She is the funny one I have never laughed so much in my life! I have never known love like this before. She is just my light in the sky! I don't know how else to put.

Linda did mention my niece and what her conviction has done to me. I had been raising my niece at that time, and I have to admit she and I did not get along. She ran away - got involved in drugs was eventually convicted of murder and we are still fighting that conviction.

I blamed myself for her destruction and I let my grief and bitterness pretty much destroy me. I turned into someone that, well, I don't think anyone would like very much. Including me.

But, Linda stood beside me through this entire mess, she has saved my life three times now: through my divorce, cancer, and my conviction, and imprisonment. She is also giving me the strength and courage to fight that conviction, as well as, Holly's through the courts. Together we (along with the attorney - who gets most of the credit!) have won my release pending the outcome of the appeal. Together, as Partners and with family, we will face whatever comes.

We know in our hearts that with God's Grace and our Guardian Angel that he has sent us - Jerry - we will win the appeal if He wills it. Or if I have to go back, we will have the strength, endurance, and love to not only survive, but to beat the odds. And Linda will keep me laughing through the whole thing.

I really looked forward to visitation, because, I knew for a moment I would be with my Love, we could not touch, but we could laugh and enjoy each other - if only for a brief time each week. That kept me going!

To the others who introduced theirselves in this forum, Thank you for sharing yourselves with Linda and I.

Love, to all

Patti and Linda

Dear Patti and Linda !!!

Al last you did it !!!! I was so much waiting for your introduction in the GLBT forum !!! You are such a wonderful and inspiring couple, and brought so much interesting input and caring words to PTO !!!

I'm very proud and happy to have friends like you, and wish you and yours all the best for your future.

Thanks for this sweet introduction of your couple, and all my best wishes for an everlasting happiness.

Love
Phil xoxo

Thank you, Phil and Joey,

We love you and all of our friends at PTO. You don't know how much your support means to us!

Love,

Patti and Linda

Patti and Linda,

Thanks for sharing and glad to have you here with us!

dlredbonenyc,

Welcome to PTO and to the GLBT Forum! Good to have you here!

Welcome Patti and Linda to PTO!! Wow that story was something else!! Also moving! Glad to have you here with us.

pookie

Welcome to PTO Diredbonenyc!! It is good to have you here. I can relate very much to your situation. I have always been kind of afraid of trade in my younger days. I am 32 now and now I am with my trade now!! Actually, I think he is out the trade stage at this point, but he still has all the qualities that trade has. So as you can imagine, I am quite content. And he's full of sincerety, honesty, understanding, heart, and whatever else. Thank God!! I didn't think I would ever find Mr. Right, but I have......just like in the movies!!
Look at me rambling!! I just want you to know I know where you're coming from and we are very glad that you're here. :)

pookie

Hello everyone

My name is Steve and I am new to this site, but very happy that it exists, predominately because it helps me to know that I am not alone in this struggle.

Brian, that's my partner, and I have been together for ten years and then the unthinkable happened. Brian received a ten year prison sentence for assaulting (felony assault) the Chief of Police's son. Though many things did not seem to matter enough to his public defender to bring up in court. So, we have been enduring the nightmare ever since. I have since hired a private attorney to help us, though it took long enough to find one that was interested in taking the case at a reasonable price. So much for justice being for everyone. The attorney believes that a miscariage of justice occurred not just in the charges being filed, but the sentencing as well. We suspect that a lot of it had to do with the fact that Brian and I are a gay couple. And particular individuals on the opposing side are rather homophobic to say the least and appear to be in bed with one another so to speak. Until this incident, Brian had a clean criminal record.

For me, well I am simply without the words to express how I feel about having my partner abruptly taken away from me after ten years together. I haven't slept a single night in our bed since Brian left and I doubt very much that I will until he returns. Brian is, has been and always will be my lifemate.

Anyway, so here I am. Confused, angry, hurt and lonely all rolled into one and having to learn a whole new way to cope with things I never before thought I would ever be facing firsthand. So, I am greatful that a friend of mine told me about this site.

Steve

Steve first of all Welcome to PTO!

I am so glad your friend told you about us! I can only imagine the pain and the hurt you and all the others go thru when your loved one is taken away. I myself met my hunny thru being a pen pal. I yet to feel his touch. I really don't know which is harder. But you hang in there and know that we are all a family here and you will find lots of love and support here.

Steve,

Welcome to PTO....there are many of us here who have and are experiencing what you are......We're all here for each other....Glad you're here!

Deb

Hi Steve

I already welcomed you in the introduction forum, but I'm glad do it again in our GLBT one :)

I'm glad you found us, and I'm terribly sorry for what you and Brian are going through. Should you need any help or informations or just kind words of support, know that we're here for you and for Brian as well.

We have a birthday card program, and Barbara (username BSS) is the one in charge. If you wish, you can PM her Brian's name address and birthdate, and Barbara will PM the month list to the members in charge of sending b-day cards on Brian's month. This way, his name and address are not publicly displayed on the WWW. We had a similar program for Christmas, and I can tell you that Joey, my partner, was thrilled and so happy to receive SO MANY x-mas cards !!! I didn't tell him before, and it was quite a big and wonderful surprise !! :)

Anyway, should you have any specific question, please feel free to ask.

All the best and welcome again
Phil

Hi Steve. :) Welcome again to PTO

Hi, Steve,

Welcome to PTO!

Linda and I can sympathize with you and Brian. For we are in almost the same boat. When I was gone (I am currently out on bond awaiting the appeal process), Linda said much the same thing about not being able to sleep, confused, angry, etc.

It is not a good place for either the one outside or the one inside. For not being with Linda , well life was a alot poorer and sadder for both of us.

I hope and pray that you get the new Attorney can bring Brian home for you.

God Bless,

:) WELCOME TO PTO! THIS IS A GREAT PLACE FOR SUPPORT!

Hey Steve,

Welcome to PTO! I am glad that you found us.

I am sodaigakko, and I am here. I am ... not exactly any of GLBT nor straight ... I am satisfied to feel ambiguous. My gay "sugardaddy" was murdered before I married. My fingerprints were there, but fortunately they were not misused. I have been dutifully married for 28 years. I quit disrespecting women (robbing and assaulting streetwalkers out of rage) when I became spiritually "awakened". I am now happily married for the 3 years since -- same marriage -- to a loving woman. No more abuse, and sex is now irrelevant. I am a pluralist, spiritually and sexually in what I support and believe. I am happy to make acquaintance with you. Though I am still fearful of heterosexual men, I am growing in being able to love and respect the variety of souls. My pen pal, in a Florida prison, is of a different gender, generation, culture and nationality, educational level, economic background -- and it is an adventure in learning and loving someone I will never meet. For the dear wife's sake it must be so. I hope instead to meet one or more of you closer to where I live then. In that way I look forward, contrary to how I lived for decades, to validating relationships in "real" space that I might be able to make in "cyber" space.

Thanks for introducing yourself in the GLBT forum Sodaigakko !! :)

Inputs from people from all walks of life are much needed and appreciated.

All my best wishes
Phil

sodaigakko,

Thanks for introducing yourself here! It is great to have you here or anywhere on PTO!

tO ALL OF YO HERE. I JUST WANTED TO SAY THAT I RESPECT YOUR LIFESTYLE CHOICES. LOVE KNOWS NO BOUNDERIES. GOOD LUCK TO YOU ALL IN YOUR BATTLES. THERE ARE GOOD PEOPLE HERE THAT TRUELY CARE. GLAD THIS FORUM IS HERE FOR YOU.
SHARON

I use to be bisexual, and I was in prison for 7 years too.
I am married and faithful to my husband now, though.

I have numerous homegirls locked up who are either lesbian or bisexual. and it is easier for them in prison, as they can find themselves a partner to share their days with,
but it is trouble w/the co's..cause you can go to the hole for any kind of touching, etc.

my name is amy, and i've never been in prison, altho i do read a lot about prison stuff and think about it often. it's like a hobby of mine, respectfully. i'm 23, living in san francisco, and i have a loving girlfriend. i have a friend incarcerated in upstate new york who is a gay male.

PTO is fabulous!

Sharon, ladysoldier, and underpants...

Welcome to the Forum! Thanks for your comments and support!

HI All,
I just wanted to lend my support in anyway possible. I am hetero LOL but have been an avid supporter of g/l/t rights for many years. I am not going to read through this forum out of respect for your privacy, but if you invite me in, I'd be happy to join.
Just PM and I'll come back. If you don't welcome me, I totally understand, but please know that I'm here!

Best,
Wendy

Wendy - Hey and welcome! Please participate! Please add to the threads here - offer advice - join the party! It is great to have you here!

This is not a private party in here (lol) it is open to all on the site...

Great to have your support!

Gosh Wendy you're hetero ??? I'm so sorry !!! Can it be cured ??? :D :D

Thanks very much for your kind support. You are very welcome to the GLBT forum !!! :) Everyone is by the way. Even people with different opinions. We can discuss about all and anything as long as it remains courteous and respectful.

So please, join the party !!! :)

Phil

If I had to have a title Iguess it would be bisexual. I have been with more men then women, but my longest relationship was with a women. I am now happily married to a wonderful loving husband.

Ladysoldier was right when she posted that it can be easier to do time with a partner. I did most of my sentance with the same woman. It seems in prison though straight women get turned out more out of peer pressure then out of curiosity or want. I would have to say at least 75-80% of women in prison have a partner in there. In Calif. State Prisons at least.
But let me tell you it is a messy thing in there to be involved. Unlike men's prison almost all of fights are because of girlfriend relationships. If you hook up with someone your almost guaranteed to have a run in at least once.

I can respect everyone's lifestyle, it is what makes you and me. Knowing and respecting each others differences.

Welcome!!!

Howdy ya'll, Huff from Alabama here and I am straight if I have to call myself anything, I love my Joe. "People are People" to me. My mother has been in a relationship with the same woman for the last nineteen years and my bestfriends and next door neighbors are a happy lesbian couple who have been together for seven years. I couldn't ask for two better friends. They are like family to Joe and me. They even treat our kids like there own. I wouldn't take anything for either of them. My thoughts and prayers go out to all of you with loved ones that you can't be with right now. Love is Love no matter how you look at it.

Tracie, Kaci, and huff...

Welcome - all are welcome here ! Thanks for your support and understanding!

Glad I found this area!
I am on the board of CURE-OHIO and am in process of redoing our website.
We are having a specific OFFICIAL GLBT focus area this year (we ALWAYS addressed the issue just not specifically). I would appreciate any content for that area.

Old website http://cureohio.us/ and http://cureohio.org/ (note on bios I am there and MY focus is listed)

New site in progress http://temp.cureohio.us/

My name is Anita and I'm (happily) married to Wim and I live in Holland, The Netherlands. We're straight, but we do support gay people.
Here it's normal that gay people get married and that's great!
I don't understand why it's not allowed in other countries. Like Huff was saying:"people are people", so why not?
Fortunately, gay people are more accepted now and that's how it should be! I always feel sorry for gay people who can't be open about it...that must be so hard on them! I hate it when people say it's a sickness or disease...short sighted people...eeek!

Anita,

Thanks for your support - it is well appreciated!!!

I have some good friends in the Netherlands - never been to visit yet but have heard so many great things about your life there! Welcome to PTO!

Hey everyone, Scott here. I am a gay man, and I'm in love with a guy who is currently doing time at the Duluth Federal Prison Camp in Minnesota for drug dealing. He's senteced to be released June of 2009, but he's trying to appeal his case. my fingers are crossed! I met him when I was seventeen, so we've known eachother for a little over 4 years now. We were great until he started dealing, then everything went bad. We didn't speak for a long time, then I found out he had been arrested. He was staying at a halfway house and I spoke with him almost everyday and visited him a few times a week. Then he was sent to a county jail awaiting his sentence. Then this summer I moved down to Arizona so I haven't been able to see him for about 8 months. I write him about once a week telling just about everything that has been going on with me, and he writes back always amazing letters. It's strange how he knows how to say exactly the right things. Anyway, I try to keep him positive, give him support, and plan for the future. But I'm sure like everyone else is, I'm worried! Duluth FPC is supposed to be very easy. It's minimum security and none of the inmates were charged with any violent crimes. But I worry that he may get more connections inside prison and go back to his life of crime, I'm worried that he may get aids or something, and worse, that he may want to be single when he gets out.
Anyway, I've been reading a lot of posts and I'm so glad I stumbled upon this website because there are people out there like me with a lot of the same fears. Thanks for this, it's great!
-Scott

Scott,

Welcome to PTO! Glad you are here with us!

Hi scott, welcome to pto :) Good to have you with us

thanks lulu and teb!

Hey y'all. Well, I'm a straight female, however I live in a part of Houston that is very gay populated, and I love it! I've found that those who support me most in my involvement with the prison system are my gay friends. I love them all dearly, and I just wanted to say that I am so happy that this forum is here. Keep up the fantastic work and know that you have my undying love and support!

Thanks for your support and for joining the party destiny !!! :)

Gosh I once was in Houston (unexpected lay over between SF and Miami due to AA being on strike), and I had to find a hotel for the night, and I called one of those which had a direct line from the airport main hall, and a sexy man voice answered he would come pick me up ASAP, and WOW !!!! here came this incredible sexy cowboy driving the hotel shuttle !!! :eek: :eek: I was ready to ask him to drive me directly to Miami !!! :D :D

Thanks again for joining us. :)
Phil

Heehee, there are some CUTE cowboys around here... reminds me of that new country song that is out... "Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy."

Happy to be here!

Hi there,

I'm a gay guy in Melbourne Australia, I 'm just starting to write to a couple of prisoners in the US, but first thought i'd do some research on Prison conditions in the various states in the US.

I've found this site to be interesting, it certainly gives me a new dimension to prisoners and their lives inside.

Alan


Alan

Yes the US prison system is a mess...but look at the bright side...we have the best selection of inmates anyplace! With only 5% of the WORLD's population we have a FULL 25% of the prisoners in the whole world!
And for those of you gay/lesbian/bi/trans, in the U.S., have you got a story to tell about your personal run in with the "injustice system" or more specifically the police?
AMNESTY INTERNATIONAL is compiling stories NOW-we have a link to tell it at CURE-OHIO's GAY/LESBIAN newspage at CURE-OHIO (http://cureohio.org/gay.htm)
Also intensely interested in gay prisoner news....

hello all....my name is Melissa and I am a straight female who is in love with my man Josh. I love all humans who do not hate others for their choices. I am looking forward to getting to know everyone out there. I have been a member for awhile now but am just getting back into the swing of things...thanks so much for letting me a little 'hello' to all.

Welcome swtmel - thanks for stopping by!

Im 22 years old, and have a girlfriend locked up, 18. I miss her so much, and glad i found you all!

diddo,

Good to have you here!

Hi diddo

Welcome to the PTO family and the GLBT forum. :)

All my very best wishes.
Phil

Hi Diddo...nice to see you here....

hello everyone my name is Rudy I am from Detroit Mi (mexican town area). I am 26 y/o 6 foot tall and thought i give you guys a try see what happens i do have a couple of friends in the texas prison but been awhile sense i talked to them... that is all i have to say now but if you wanna know anything just ask.

Welcome Rudy. :)

All my best wishes.

Phil

Hi,
I am straight, but like 90% of my friends are gay. I also do volunteer work for a place called Aids Volunteers of Lexington, so most of the people I volunteer with are gay as well. I am glad you opened this forum as well because it was most needed.
Take care and for the ones of you who celebrate Easter, Happy Easter. :)
Valorie

Hi Valorie,

Welcome to the GLBT forum. :)

I'm glad you introduced yourself.

Phil

Hi Guys Im Joey T. My Partner Is In Limestone In Alabama. I Hope To hear From You All I Hope To Help You As I Know You Will Me I Am From Decatur Alabama

Hello everyone,

My name is Tammy, Im also straight, but have a ton of gay/lesbian friends. I am open minded and always like to hear everyones opinion on things. ((((( group hug)))))

Hello everyone,

My name is Tammy, Im also straight, but have a ton of gay/lesbian friends. I am open minded and always like to hear everyones opinion on things. ((((( group hug)))))
where you from

Hi Everyone - thought id pop in an add my 2 pennies!

I think i fall under the bi section! i have had both female and male partners in the past, and enjoyed them all the same for differnt reasons. I am currently waiting on my guy in FL but if i were not to be in a relationship i would be open and free on both markets. i think its truly liberating that you can find happiness in whoever you want - whatever sex - and i love this forum and the opportunities it has opened.

Im so pleased you have added this forum - i love the pto community and all in it!

Bye now!

It is cool that we have this forum! Thank you FedX and tebkrg for making it possible! My partner is in a Florida prison and we will be united in 4 years and 4 months! He's very special to me, and I couldn't imagine life without him. I'm in the middle of moving to Florida...spending some time with family along the way from Cali to Florida...and so haven't been able to get a letter for a week or so...that's a bit hard! He's getting letters from me everyday though :)
Well, thanks for letting me ramble!

:thumbsup: Keep the faith and Keep Loving him.:thumbsup:

Hello everyone

My name is Steve and I am new to this site, but very happy that it exists, predominately because it helps me to know that I am not alone in this struggle.

Brian, that's my partner, and I have been together for ten years and then the unthinkable happened. Brian received a ten year prison sentence for assaulting (felony assault) the Chief of Police's son. Though many things did not seem to matter enough to his public defender to bring up in court. So, we have been enduring the nightmare ever since. I have since hired a private attorney to help us, though it took long enough to find one that was interested in taking the case at a reasonable price. So much for justice being for everyone. The attorney believes that a miscariage of justice occurred not just in the charges being filed, but the sentencing as well. We suspect that a lot of it had to do with the fact that Brian and I are a gay couple. And particular individuals on the opposing side are rather homophobic to say the least and appear to be in bed with one another so to speak. Until this incident, Brian had a clean criminal record.

For me, well I am simply without the words to express how I feel about having my partner abruptly taken away from me after ten years together. I haven't slept a single night in our bed since Brian left and I doubt very much that I will until he returns. Brian is, has been and always will be my lifemate.

Anyway, so here I am. Confused, angry, hurt and lonely all rolled into one and having to learn a whole new way to cope with things I never before thought I would ever be facing firsthand. So, I am greatful that a friend of mine told me about this site.

Steve

My name is Joe Fox and I live in small town Kentucky-Henderson. I did 21 1/2 months on a 7 year sentence on drug charges, I was released on parole in March 2005. I generally consider myself to be gay because I do prefer to be with men, but I am technically bisexual, I really am open to love regardless of the gender! I was sexually abused by my Dad as a child and it really screwed up my head in a lot of ways, and I don't think that I have ever really been in love. I have always prefered sex with men because I knew that I could please a man, but I truly love women also, I just don't feel as comfortable with them sexually. I am now 47 years old, very much overweight, and very lonely!! I would give anything to truly love and be loved, but I am just not sure it is in the cards for me? Who really wants to be with a middle age, disabled, overweight ex-con?
Anyway...enough of my pity party, I am really happy that I found this forum, and I truly hope that I can help others who are dealing with the legal/prison system.

Hi there, everyone. Please have a look at my introduction on the main Introductions & Stories forum. You’ll find it here.

Hi there,
It's nice to meet someone who has been involved with partners of both sexes. I have been with my girlfriend for 6 years and she has been in and out of county jails the whole time. As of 3 months ago she went to prison. We have had a tough time and I met someone else. He is amazing!! We became romanticly involved and my girlfrind found out. He now is also locked up in CRC in California. He should be home in a few weeks maybe a month. My girlfriend will be gone 2 years. I cant turn my back on her. I won't. I still love her very much but am not in love with her. I am in love with my Babe. She has no idea that he and I write and he calls daily. I dont think telling her would do anyone any good at this point. No matter what happens I will always be here for her as a friend if nothing else. We have been through a lot and we owe each other at least that. Any advise, insite, of general thoughts about this sure would be welocmed. Bless you

Hi there,
It's nice to meet someone who has been involved with partners of both sexes. I have been with my girlfriend for 6 years and she has been in and out of county jails the whole time. As of 3 months ago she went to prison. We have had a tough time and I met someone else. He is amazing!! We became romanticly involved and my girlfrind found out. He now is also locked up in CRC in California. He should be home in a few weeks maybe a month. My girlfriend will be gone 2 years. I cant turn my back on her. I won't. I still love her very much but am not in love with her. I am in love with my Babe. She has no idea that he and I write and he calls daily. I dont think telling her would do anyone any good at this point. No matter what happens I will always be here for her as a friend if nothing else. We have been through a lot and we owe each other at least that. Any advise, insite, of general thoughts about this sure would be welocmed. Bless you

LuvMyBabesTats,
No Matter what, those are two lucky people to have you there for them! Not everyone has someone on the outside, especially someone who loves them in any way! Just be there for each of them as best you can and it will all work out!
Peace,
Joe

Hi,

I just read ur post and saw that Florida is keeping your guy too. Mine's at Taylor Annex, where's urs?

Scott


Hi Everyone - thought id pop in an add my 2 pennies!

I think i fall under the bi section! i have had both female and male partners in the past, and enjoyed them all the same for differnt reasons. I am currently waiting on my guy in FL but if i were not to be in a relationship i would be open and free on both markets. i think its truly liberating that you can find happiness in whoever you want - whatever sex - and i love this forum and the opportunities it has opened.

Im so pleased you have added this forum - i love the pto community and all in it!

Bye now!

Hi everyone...

This is my first day here, so let me introduce myself. My name is Bryan and I live in Ohio. I am a gay stand-up comedian, fitness instructor, and I have also worked with the mentally challenged as a care-giver.

I am 34 years old at the present time. What brings me here is the following:

While I was working as a caregiver for the mentally challenged, I was recently suspended pending an investigation. They are claiming that I used some of the clients money to purchase things for myself, since they can't seem to locate items on receits on the clients home. They are now also claiming that I forged their signature (actually their initials) on to paperwork also.

As of this moment, no charges have been officially filed...but it looks like that may happen in the near future. And since my clients were mentally challenged...that makes these offenses felonies instead of misdemeanors.

My lawyer is working to try and settle everything out of court, and to avoid any charges or jail time...but the cops are not being very co-operative. Looks like they really wanna nail me (and not in a good way).

The worst case scenario is that I could be looking at 4 years if I am convicted. So, I guess my main reason for looking up this site is to get as much info as I can about what prison is like so that I know what to expect.

If anyone here would like to correspond with me to help me out, I would greatly appreciate that...

Sincerely,
Bryan

Hey Bryan,

Welcome to PTO - sorry that it is under the circumstances that it is, but this is the right place for you to find the support that you need!

Hope all goes well for you!

Welcome To PTO Bryan

Well short and sweet.I'm a 42 year old white gay male in love with a 20 year old black gay male.He is my partner in for life.He's serving 14 years for two counts of aggrivated robbery here in Texas.I just wanted to say hello.

Hey Mike - Welcome!

Hi mike,

Glad to see you on here, there are so many amazing people here to incase you need some help. Teb and phil are the two main guys who rock my world with answers and help. so feel free to post and feel welcome.

Hello all,
I just wanted to introduce myself. My name is Valerie and my wife of 8 years just entered prison. I am so very heartbroken and hope to find a family here on these boards. We have a 3 year old daughter via artifical insemination (I carried her but we conceived her together) and I am now raising her alone. I just want my wife home so that we can raise our daughter together. Our daughter does not understand why mommy is away. I try so very hard to stress to her just how much her other mommy loves her but how do you fully explain that to a 3 year old? How do you raise a child knowing that at best her mommy will be home when she is 23? I love my wife so very much but I hate the crime that she committed. How do I explain to our daughter (when she is much older) what her mommy did?
Are there any other gay/lesbian parents in the same boat as I am in? Any advice? My heart just aches for my wife but in the same regard I hate what my she did. I sometimes feel like I am losing my mind, but I always am able to keep it together for our little girl. I break down after she is fast asleep. When we took our vows I said for better or for worse. I will live by my vows. I just don't know how much worse it could possibly get. Sorry to ramble. Thanks for reading.

Valerie,

Welcome to our group!

I encourage you to ask your questions as new threads in the GLBT forum... this forum is just for introductions and you will get a better response if you start a new thread!

Welcome to pto! You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

Welcome to PTO Valérie, I just answered your other thread. :)

Phil

Welcome to the site Bryan. Hope all goes well for you! I'll keep you in my prayers.
Chris

Hi, my name is Alma. There's sooo many things I want to say but I don't want to make this post too long. Just the basics for now then starting with some background information. I was incarcerated in Texas for 2 years and while there I fell in love with a fellow inmate. After being in prison I KNOW all the bs with prison "relationships" that's the reason I didn't want to get involved with anyone, but after 6 months of friendship she had gained my trust. By the way both of us were gay prior to being incarcerated. Now to the reason I'm posting. I was released a little over a year ago and we've written each other nearly every day since my release. Just recently the mailroom has been finding reasons to deny our mail (both incoming and outgoing) and today I recieved a letter telling me that I have been placed on her negative mailing list and I think there's a possiblity I've been taken off her vistors list as well. I'm just sick to my stomach and all I can do is cry and cry some more. I'm going to try to appeal these decisions but I really don't know much about the system. I also don't know all the details about he situation because she can't write me! I'll stop before I get into other topics but that's my situation for now. Thanks for listening.

I don't know if I should post this here, I was just glad to see other gays! I'm a 20 year old ftm with a father in prison. I'm going for my first visit soon, I haven't seen my father in 10 years. We've talked a little bit in letters about my life, he knows I have a female partner, but he doesn't know about my transition. I'm afraid of how he will take seeing his 'son' intead of his daughter, and I'm trying to decide whether or not it would just be easier on both of us if I just dressed like a girl for once in my life. I'm worried about his reaction, but what can he do really? Other than stop writing to me, take me of his list. I just don't know how to handle this and I could use some advice.
Thanks
AJ:eek:

I really feel that you should not have to change who you are for the sake of your father. The best gift I think you can give a person is honesty. You are being honest to yourself in your transition from FTM. I would suggest just continuing to be true to yourself.

I am a gay man who has a lover, Brent, in the Texas Prison System. We had been together a little over a year when he was picked up here in Alabama. He had been involved with some things in his home state before I ever met him--without my knowledge I might add-- and owed Texas some time. So I was completely blind sided by it last June. We are going on our 8th month apart and it is hard as hell at times. He must do at least two years (if he makes parole) and could do up to three years before his release. I didn't even know about this part of PTO until about an hour ago. I found PTO while looking for information about the Texas system; so, I didn't even go to the index page when I joined. I am so grateful that there is somewhere that I can talk about things with people. I have been incarcerated in Alabama; so, any questions about my state's system I will be happy to answer for anyone who may need information about that. I really just wanted to say hello and move on for now.
later :thumbsup:
A.

Hi There Everyone:

My name is Michael and I recently have met someone who is incarcerated and I found this website, hoping to get some support and some ideas on resources and experiences from other people.

My loved one was incarcerated at age 18 as a sexual offender. The story he tells me (which the staff corroborates) is that he had consensual sex with a 14 and a 16 year old girl when he was 17. The 14 year old's parents cried rape and, because he was an emancipated minor, he was sent to prison for child molestation. He has been transferred to the State Hospital for the last 18 months of his sentence and will be out in about 6 months. According to this therapists, et al, he is very unlikely to re-offend, has kicked his drug addiction(s) and is dealing successfully with all his other tasks/issues.

My main concern for him is about how he will live life on the outside. He has never lived out of prison since he became an adult. I am appalled at the complete lack of services in the State of Arizona for prisoners being released into society. I worry about him being able to find a home, a job with decent pay (although he does have a minimum wage job now). From what I read online, housing, employment and support from another human being are the most crucial elements to having him transition successfully and resist being returned to prison. He is a sweet, nice (sexy ;) ) man who just have a terrible childhood and therefore got stuck in some bad situations making bad choices. I have every reason to believe he will be a productive member of society, given the chance.

I would really appreciate any advice anyone here can give me on how I might be able to help him make the transition.

Thanks,

Michael

Welcome to all of our new members! It is good to have you with us!

Hi and Welcome to PTO.

Hello to all,
Jason and I are going to have a first meeting end of June.....cool beans dude eh? Yay! for Jason and myself.....we love each other and talk on the phone all the time.
Wow! I was so glad to read your personal stories and a bit sad that they kind of reflect my own story with Jason, who is incarcerated in Ky State DOC. I live in central Illinois.
Kentucky sure has some backward rules. One time I sent a card of two men shot from shoulders up hugging...could have been a dad son or family pic....rejected due to homosexual content. :angry:
That sort of stuff irritates the tar out of me........but I must admit one piece of rejected mail in the last year and a half of writing aint too bad LOL
I metJason like some of you through his online personal ad after he was incarcerated. He sounded like someone I would like to meet. I sent him a few letters and after a while I was blown away. We are an awful lot alike. :thumbsup:
I was glad to read the Kentucky DOC website after being warned by several other PTO members about visitation and dress codes etc. (Prison sure aint Disneyland folks) A few strict rules. (but it says visitors must wear panties.......ok I usually wear tightie whities but.......If I gotta)
I do have questions to anyone of you.....have you visited a gay loved one at the Eastern Kentucky Correctional Complex? I am interested in hearing how you faired there with staff etc? My man is in the hole and I am going to have to see him through glass.......but usually do they let you touch like a hug or?????. (forget about a kiss or hand holding......I know that would bird would never fly) Anything anyone can tell me would be appreciated about the EKCC.
Yay! only a few more weeks to see my baby
Mano...but you can call me Phil:cool:

Welcome Phil....

Please start another thread that can address your questions... this thread is really just for the introductions....

Good to have you here...and we will all be excited to hear about your first visit.

I don't know if there is anyone on here that knows about KY prisons from a gay perspective...?

The hole and behind glass thing will suck... NO - there will be no contact for you two until he is out of the hole and being a good boy! When they are in the hole and you get behind glass, he is put into a booth or however that prison does it and then you come in on the other side. In some prisons they listen and or can record your conversation through the phone that you talk on. In some prisons he will have shackels on for the duration of the visit becaue he is in the hole. As well, because he is in the hole, they generally only allow them to have showers every few days and would not necessarily let him have one just before this visit so he is not going to be in the finest presentation shape that he could be - you just have to look past all of this.

I am sorry that your first visit has to be like this but we will hope that he is out of the hole soon so that your next visit is contact.

I hug and kiss my Partner on beginning and end of the visit. I however would caution you to let your guy take the lead on this as he will know what he will and will not get away with.

hello everyone! i am a recently released felon lesbian. my wife and i were incarcerated at ncrj in west virginia. we are originally from boston but got caught up in some things in west virginia. i just wanted to pop on here and see what this was all about. i think its great that you have a gay/lesbian place on here.

Modie,
Welcome to PTO and the GLBT forum, we are glad to have you part of our family here.

Canadian here my bf is in prison in Nevada...i can't wait till he gets out. Although it looks as if I will rack up a few airmiles going down there. Glad to have a site like this and if anyone else is from up north let me know. Cheers smirny

Smirny

Welcome to the GLBT forum and to PTO.I'm sure we have some canadian friends here.

:) Hi everyone! My name is Pam and I have a girlfriend at the Lane Murray Unit in Gatesville, Texas. I met her on an prison ad dating site last February and just got my first visit a couple of weeks ago. She will be up for parole in about 6 months. She has already been there 7 years. I am so glad you have opened this forum. I have been here awhile but have not started posting until recently. Glad I have somewhere that I can go and talk with people who will support me as much as I will support them.

Thanks,
Pam

nightowl1963200 welcome to the PTO family!!Glad your here!!

:wave:Hi Pam and Welcome:D

Hallo all!
I am new to the site, and my name is Mark. I live in Salt Lake City, Utah, and am glad that I have my computer back... :D I am new to the site in general and got the addy from a friend inside who said to make sure to have a look as soon as out. So I did and was amazed to see how much info is available here. If I had just known be4. Well be4 you guess I'll be str8 about it I am Gay and I do not hide it.

Anyway, it is a great site!

Marky960 welcome to PTO and the glbt forum.We are glad you are here!!

My name is Bob, and my partners name is Vinnie. WE are Batmen 4 Life. He is a parole violator and will be gone for 6 months. This is the 2nd time that he has indulged in his impulses, and got his butt locked up. Our situation reminds me of an anti gun crime advertisement i saw on tv..."My brother was sent to prison for 7 years for a gun crime. That day i was sentenced to 7 years of walking to school alone" This site has been helpfull to me, and my partner, because I got the information I was looking for on setting up a collect call account. We now speak regularly. The list of vendors has been helpful, and hopefully, by the end of next week he will have some cassettes, and a brand new clear plastic cassette player! Thought I'd join, and see whats up. "We" cant be the only gay men who are incarcerated. Personally i've never been locked up, and I doubt i'd like it. Unfortunately, he has been in and out of state facilities for most of his life.He is openly gay, and is very friendly, which causes a bit of a problem. The inmates who speak to him usually have to fend off the question 'why you hangin out with the homo' I k now him well enough to know that if he didnt have somone to come home to, that he'd have put a few peoples teeth on the floor by now. We both have AIDS, and I work for an agency that does case management for People Living with AIDS. Fortunately, he isnt having any problems taking care of his medical needs in a State facility. He was on Rikers Island (NYC) and they didnt have sick call most days. One time while on the Island, his social worker, and legal Aid lawyer were speaking about me, and they both agreed that I am a Pain in the A**. I can live with that! :D When they werent helping him, I was like a chahuahua. Nipping at their heals and making alot of noise! This is his second time at a state correctional facility in 2 years. I've learned alot about the system, and now looking back i can t believe how naive I was. Thank goodness for the Internet. I found out everything I need to know.Was a time when I went up with a 50 pound suitcase, and came home with 20 lbs of stuff he couldnt have. These days I dont bring much home, and the stuff I do, i usually order and shipped to him by a vendor. While I'm not proud of the things he has done that got him sent there, but, I am proud of him for not going back into the closet, and at the same time not getting into trouble. While I'm here I'd like to help any other "newbies" and perhaps find out what its REALLY like for a gay man behind bars, as I'm sure there are things he would really prefer that I not know. One last thing. I believe there is a "karma god" who looks out for our people when we cant. If you can help your inmate help someone who has looked out for them, please do it. Do a 3-way call. Call someone for them and pass on a message. Anything you can to to help your inmate look out for someone else. I was planning for a weekend visit with my man, and on thursday night i got a 3-way calll, for 2 minutes, from him that he was being "drafted" (being packed up and moved) the next day. It was the first time I had heard his voice in almost 3 weeks. I owe the Karma god big time for that one! I wish you all, and your loved ones, good luck in getting through your bid

Batmen_4_life

WELCOME to PTO and the GLBT forum - feel free to post and ask any questions that you may have.

HUGS and Welcome

Batman welcome to PTO...We are glad you are here

Hello All My Name Is Jennifer And My G/f Is Currently Locked Up For A Drug Charge. I Am Glad To Have Found A Site To Hopefully Help Me Thru This Mess. My Family Does Not Understand Why 1 I Am With A Woman Of Color And 2 Why Im With Someone Locked Up.

Booboo's baby g Welcome to the gblt forum and PTO.Glad to have you here.

Hey everyone!! My name is Drew and I'm a 25 year old college student. I have the most incredible boyfriend named Wes, who is currently at EOCI (Eastern Oregon Correctional Institution). I met him through a prison penpal website. I'd never done anything like that before (penpalling) but I was curious one afternoon and was browsing ads when I came across his. I wrote to him and we both hit it off almost immediately. He is the sweetest guy in the world. I can't wait for the day when we are finally able to be together.

slcboy1981 i understand where your coming from.I feel the same about my husband.And welcome to the glbt forum.We are glad your here!!!

Hello everyone! I'm Steve from Houston, and though this "introduction" is a bit late in coming (I've already posted several times, cluelessly missing the "introductions" bit at the top. Brown hair here but there is blonde in the family... LOL), I decided I'd do a bit of introduction.

Here is my story (previously posted):
Meet in Jan '04, learn he has (basically) a bipolar disorder, major ups and downs, fall in love, has a "major" down episode where I am quite frightened and order him out, he repents the next day with many many apologies, we keep our friendship but I say I need space. He gets back into drugs down in the Valley (why he left in the first place), is caught stealing and sent to jail.

Which brings us to now (more or less). A number of ups and downs, during the course of his incarceration he was quite distant and unresponsive, for a while (like 3 months, which feels like forever when you're in love) and another episode where I heard naught from him for 2 months (repeat above statement). I was absolutely furious, felt forgotten.

My view on this relationship is friendship, for right now. I still don't know, really. But, I have yet to see a positive, ongoing change from him, it hurts but that's what I think (those 2 months were pretty painful.)

Unfortunately I really wish I would have found these forums sooner! :( I didn't find it until early this month (Jan. '07) so the past 2.5 years or so I've struggled to understand not only my relationship but how to deal with the prison system in general.

Also unfortunately I've come to the very recent decision that my "guy" and I should just be friends... The first year and a half I was constantly his 'outside angel' -- would write letters constantly, send him money every 2 weeks or once a month, and would visit him at least once a month (when he was far) and every week (when he was close). I didn't mind it at all. But those periods of 3 months of distance, and then 2 months where I didn't hear from him (actually there was one day in that period where we did talk, twice for 15 minutes each, he was friendly and loving but nonchalantly (purposefully?) brushed aside my worries and frustrations about not hearing from him) and really didn't take my feelings into consideration during that whole 6 month period. This happened last January (in '06) and my feelings for him are up and down, just like before. During Jan '06 and Jan '07 I've sent him 3 letters. And NO money. I didn't do it on purpose, I just didn't know what to think, and was trying to get over him. His last letters (recieved just recently, 4 in the last year) are rich and overflowing with reminesces of the past but I am really in a quandry. So I decided to put things on "hold" for now, and just be his friend. I do miss him terribly but I think he has to prove himself to be more responsible and take some ownership of himself.

It lead to wonder in what direction I should take so that's why I reached out to a number of other prison penpal sites/people. I just think that there has to be some gay men in prison who are lonely and can use a good friend who might actually appreciate a good catch...

Anyway I've written enough as it is so this is me :)

airbrush.Thats a great introduction to the forum.Welcome to the PTO family...

I'm a very proud 41 year old gay male connecting here from Atlanta, Georgia. I'm a new member of PTO and was really impressed that I found this forum and the other parts of PTO seem to be very well organized and a wealth of information. It's great to be a part of this site I'm impressed with the support structure here. Isn't the Internet a wonderful tool ?

Some eight years ago ( about the dawn of the Internet ) I was released from the BOP having served from 1992-1999. I was inducted in US Marshal's Lock-Up at the Asheville, NC Jail. I spent almost a year in pretrial confinement and toured the jails of NC, SC & GA. After sentencing, I was assigned to USP Atlanta and after a few brief stays at other BOP facilities I settled into FCI-Butner. After 5 years at Butner I was sent to a half-way house in Durham, NC. After 7 years of prison, a year of jails awaiting trial/sentencing, 3 months of halfway house and 5 years of supervised release I'm now a free man with a $100,000 fine PAID IN FULL ... to boot :blush:

During my stay in jails, the BOP, halfway house and the probation officer's waiting room I've meet countless other gay guys. I myself "came-out" while at FCI-Butner. I had been gay long before my sentence ... and really well before my crime. Being gay wasn't an easy thing in prison or jail ... what was easy though I found was being myself.

Nonetheless, I'm looking forward to reading more of the forum and if there is anything I may do to assist anyone in some way or another please feel free to contact me.

Thanks for reading my Intro :thumbsup:

PostConviction

Postconviction thats a great intro.A very impressive story. Congrads on the turn around.And welcome to the PTO family...

Thanks Mike for the welcome and compliment :D

Hi. I realised after replying to a post that I had not introduced myself. Sorry. I`m Froikheim. 5o years old, lived in the UK since I was a child and a new member of PTO. Having first read many of the posts and threads, I think I am secure in the knowledge that no-one is judged here, so with that in mind, I can add that I have been in prison before and in no position to judge anyone else---even if I wanted to!
I am gay and my partner is inside just now but that is not why I am here. We had been together for four years when the ball burst. His family not only disapproved of me, they also found the whole homosexual thing unacceptable, refusing to accept he was gay. ( I was a corrupting influence.) When he was arrested and sent down for three years it hit everyone very hard, all for different reasons. I could not believe it of him and I honestly did not know what he had been up to in the first place. His mother tried her worst to vindicate him by attempting to blame me. And him..? Well he had never been in trouble before so I must assume he is not enjoying his present accomodation. Anyway, I did visit him before he was transferred to a place near Glasgow in Scotland, I wrote to him as often as I could but the writing was on the wall. He backed out of our relationship. Permanently!
As I said, that is not why I am here. At roughly the same time, though not connected in any way, my sister was arrested and given thirty months. It is just out of character.
What kind of role model have I been? I just need to get my mind round that. I am feeling for the first time what it feels like to watch one of your family being locked up. Each time I was in court, all the fines, the community service, probation and jail, it never once occurred to me that I was hurting other people so badly. Sorry folks, I don`t mean to preach.
Like you, we have councillors, probation officers & etc.we can talk to about things like this but helpful as they are, I am not too comfortable with them.
At 50, I know I have wasted my life, squandered a good education and thrown away opportunities on countless occasions. I can deal with that though. That was my choice. I just wish it hadn`t influenced other people the way it has.

Froikheim you have came along way.Keep your chin up and goodluck with your future.We are glad your part of the PTO family and the glbt forum!!!

Thanks Mike1963, I`m glad to be here.
Froikheim

My name is Teddy and I did 5 years in the Texas system. Texas usually segregates gay men in, what is known as 'safe-keeping'. Although some gay men are allowed to move in to general population as I eventually did.
I don't know about the rest of the country, but Texas will not distribute condoms to inmates, although the sex is going on regularly. To be quite honest I had some of the best sex of my life in prison. Sad isn't it? But true nonetheless. That's why I see a real need for condoms in prison. I am lucky. I am HIV negative, but there are alot of men catching AIDS in prison. Texas sends all HIV patients to the Stiles unit where health care is moderate at best. Your thoughts.

Teddyray welcome to the glbt forum and to the PTO family.....

Hi All,

My name is Michael and I am the partner of a gay felon. He was only in jail for 4 months and that was in 2005. He was put in jail for having explicit conversations with a police officer posing as a 14 year old and then trying to meet up at a pizza place. After a lot of thought I made the decision not to throw away our 5 year relationship and I stood by hi (although none of our friends stood by him or me). This has been a hard life changing experience and a lot of times I feel very much cut off. I feel embarassed about what he did and yet I still love him and support him. He has had a hard time finding a good job. He is currently working and going back to school to beome an auto technician. I personally am 30 years old and live in NY. I am a teacher and me and him have been together now for 7 years. Anyhow it is nice to se that there is a forum for gay people dealing with the prison system.

mikenyc352 welcome to the glbt forum and to the PTO family.I myself have a partner on the inside.Goodluck to you and yours!!

Hi, I too am completly new to this forum. I had no idea this was available to the free world. I must say it is a relief. My partner and I have know each other for 6 years ands have been a couple for 1 1/2 years. As of April 14th she is incarcerated at R. Scott Correctional Facility in Plymouth. I don't have to tell anyone here that this is trauma like iv'e ever know and I can't even imagine what she is going through. I just want to talk to people that understand what it is like to have a partner in prison not to mention being a lesbian on top of it. The state of Michigan doesn't necessairly acknowledge us. In short I am devistated. I can't sleep, eat or think straight. I know logically this may get easier with time. Does anyone else have someone at Scott's? What can I expect from this facility? I've never even known someone in prison so it's all Greek to me and I just keep writting letters and sending them with no idea if they are even gettin gthroug.

smokey joe welcome to the gblt forum and to the PTO family.I myself have a partner thats in.So i understand alot of your intro.PTO has been a god send to me.I would be lost without pto.Join us in the chatroom sometimes.Be sure to post or pm me anytime if you need anything.

I realize I am quite late in responding to this, but I just joined so forgive me in advance, I just felt the need to add my two cents. I just recently got released(March-07)and Prison is hard regardless of your sexuality. I am a lesbian, but quickly became a heterosexual while incarcerated, (joke) The women "housed" in the prison I was in were so unbelievable it was quite disgusting . Most of the women I encountered were not lesbians, they were "gay for the stay." They entered the prison doors swearing they would not be with a woman, and in some cases hardly a week went by before they were writing notes to another woman. Currently, I don't really have a point to make, other than prison is hard period, regardless of a person's preference, whether or not they were in a relationship or single(such as I was). The only thing that makes it easier(for most) is constant contact with loved ones.


"You can't be deep in shallow waters."

robinhood welcome to the PTO family.We are glad your here.Feel free to post away.I'm sure with your experiences you will help other members alot.Congrads on getting out and goodluck...

Hi All! This is just a short post to let you know that I'm still alive and kickin', and that Frank and I have never been better. Our 3 year anniversary is next month, and neither of us can believe how quickly the time has passed. With a little under 3 years left, Frank is calling himself a short-timer. Next spring I will be moving to Florida to get our 'nest' ready for his release. Still, 2009 can't come fast enough!!!

Hey FFB!! Good to see you back online!

Scott i had been wandering about you.Glad to have you back!!!

Hi All,

I'm a 47 year old gay guy facing sentencing on August 13 after a guilty plea and expect at least 5 years in a federal facility, probably a low security one. I've been reading posts on the forum for months now but have never posted anything. I thought I’d better take the plunge before it was too late.

I don't know anyone who has been to prison and need someone with experience to talk to about it. Frankly I'm scared to death. My partner of 12 years is trying to stay strong for me but I’m having a hard time talking to him about all this because he's dealing with his own issues and fears.

Anyway, I hope maybe that some of you might be willing to correspond with me. I guess that's enough for now. I'm looking forward to hearing from a few of you. Take care !

-Hoping4best

Hey Everyone!

My name is Lise, and I just got home from the Ohio Reformatory for Women in April after doing 15 years. It's great to be home! I'm doing well, I have two jobs, and I'm going back to college in the fall.

My reason for searching out this forum is that my girlfriend is still locked up and will be until March of 2009. We have been together for almost 3 years, and I miss her terribly. The prison environment is such that you spend more time with your partner than you would in the average relationship at home. So I feel somewhat at a loss without my Baby by my side. Has anyone gone through this? Does it get easier?

Anyway, now that I'm done whining:), if anyone has any comments or questions, I'm more than willing to hear or answer them.

Thanks for listening.
-Lise

welcome hoping4best and lise to PTO. hoping4best i will be glad to listen to anything you need to talk about but i have never been in prison so i cant help much there but im a good listener. pm me anytime. lise, how hard this must be on you being separated from your partner! aye! you gots lotsa company here and lots of support! wendi

Thanks Wendi! I need all the support I can get. Great picture!

-Lise

My cousin is in prison in Oregon and we write to one another often...i tell him about things going on the the queer community and we talk alot about sex and sexual preference....a prison gaurd found the letters and "outed" him and pressed charges because he had "filth" in his cell. Since then he has been in the hole and he has got numerous rape threats and threats of violence. Is there anyone that knows more about what to do about this from the outside??? i'm not sure what steps to take because in Oregon we just passed an anti-discrimination bill but it doesn't take effect till Jan/08! are there prison advocates that know more about this that can help me out? The ACLU hasn't responded to my phone calls and they don't even have lawyers in Oregon...I guess we don't have any civil rights issues here!?!?

opey

Hey Everyone,

Well im new to the forum. The last 48 hours of my life has been a living hell,i havent eaten or slept and all i do is cry. My boyfriend and i just entered a loving relationship and things were just going perfect...too perfect if you ask me. We met eachothers parents and our future was ahead of us. things were already a little challenging because i travel for weeks at a time because of my job, so we often spend weeks apart.

Well i got a message that he had been shot by police and he was in police custody. I couldnt believe it, no one knew what was going on or what had happened. I called my mother in law (his mom) and she told me what had happened and i just layed in bed and cried. I was due to fly home in 6 days to be with him so we could spend new years together.

Anyways, i really dont know what to do or where to turn, i just cry and cry and i fear fallen into depression. He has been my rock and my strenght and i feel like my whole world has been snatched from under me.

We dont know anything yet, and im working on getting a lawyer. hes definately facing some serious time, and im praying, but in the mean time i hope to find support from this forum because my friends just not understanding.

Warriorking DV

Hello Everyone,
My name is Steven, I am new to the forum. I am openly gay and was incarcerated for 9 months in Ohio. Feel free to ask any questions.

Welcome Steven to the PTO fam...Im a former Ohioan myself

Hello everyone!! My name's Dan, I'm from England, and openly Gay. I have been a member of this forum for quite sometime now and have posted only a general introduction so far.
I would like to discuss issues affect LGBT inmates and also seek advice from anyone willing to give advice about gay inmates and TDCJ (Texas). My boyfriend of 4 years is incarcerated in a Texas State prison... and should be out later this year.
Thanks! Speak soon.
D

Hi Dan,
I am also openly gay and was incarcerated in Ohio. If I can be of any assistance, just let me know.

Steve

Hi Steve,

Thanks for the reply. I have been finding it quite challenging at times getting my head around the way TDCJ conducts their business. Fortunately we have been able to have many Special visits (four hours per day x 2 day weekend), and I am going again soon.
Do you know if the Ohio system is similar to TDCJ??? In Texas they hold a lot of prejudice, especially towards gay inmates and those that are close to them.

Dan

Hi Steve,

Thanks for the reply. I have been finding it quite challenging at times getting my head around the way TDCJ conducts their business. Fortunately we have been able to have many Special visits (four hours per day x 2 day weekend), and I am going again soon.
Do you know if the Ohio system is similar to TDCJ??? In Texas they hold a lot of prejudice, especially towards gay inmates and those that are close to them.

Dan

Hi Dan,
I am going to start a new thread entitled "The Attitude Toward Gay Inmates" and we can talk about it.

Steve

What a wonderfully warm and sincere introduction! Thank you

Well, I suppose I'll do an intro here...I lurk more than anything in here...hope ya'll don't mind. My fiance is incarcerated in Cali. I'm in PA. We're both bi. I'm currently facing charges of my own. :( Damian has encouraged me to have my fun since he's got 10 years left on his bid...but at this point in time, I don't feel comfortable doing so. Sexuality....whew...I'm just one giant contradiction! I enjoy sex, but hate it...I have a lot of "issues" in regards to sex (most likely stemming from my abuse I went thru)...*sigh*. I've always been attracted to both boys and girls, ever since I was real little. I don't think I could ever date a female, as I tend to really get annoyed by them...but I do find them attractive, and have enjoyed being with a few in my past. For a long time it was hard for me to accept that I even liked girls...I was never raised to think less of those that are bi or gay, so I don't know why I had/have a problem with my sexuality. My guy is bi...and actually, I enjoy that fact. For some reason, I tend to attract bi men...lol...two of my past ex's were bi as well (tho neither would admit it...they only liked tranny's, so they didn't consider themselves bi...I told them they were just in denial; d*** is d***, regardless of what the rest of the package looks like, jmo...lol).

I am primarly here to find information about post-op transwomen in the USA that are incarcerated and seeking to find those kind of penpals.
There is a lot of information about pre-ops but very little or no about post-op inmates. I have also ''normal'' women penpals in many states.

Sometimes in internet people are talking etc. post-op ts-woman who has xxxxx. So I need real info not cheap guesses.

I value PM:s if someone has information.

Hi all :-) Just wanted to drop in and say hi. I'm gay woman with the love of her life incarcerated in Arizona State Prison Complex. In the early part of her sentence I was able to stay in the US with her and contribute to her canteen fund and visits etc. My USA Visa expired about 18months ago and am struggling to get another Work Visa so I can be near her. Currently i'm in New Zealand so couldn't be further from the one who holds my heart and am desperately trying to get back there so I can be with her. She is not being released for another 2 years and I want her to be able to come out to a stable loving home environment, where she'll be supported and encouraged to achieve whatever she wants in life without the stigma attached to her recent circumstance.

I've been reading the boards here for a while and just wanted to share a little bit of my situation with people who understand the difficulties inherent in a situation like this. Thanks for your time guys, keep up the good work...

Hi, I'm new to PTO(joined 9/13/08) and have been finding many threads that I have posted to introducing myself. As they apply to mine and my son's current situation. I feel that finding PTO has been a godsend!

so i want to marry her (CHRIS) now that its legalized will we be able to once she gets to where she is going to go? its my frist time in life dealing with anybody incarserated so please be patient! they allow marriges but in between gays?

:: confused::

jsut seeing if it work

Hello all,

I would like to introduce myself. I am a gay woman and I currently live with my partner and 9 yr. old son in Dallas, TX.

I am scheduled to SS on October 20th, for an 18 month sentence - I have no idea where I am going, but it was requested that I go some place close to home. So I am assuming that will be either Bryan FPC or Carswell FMC.

Since this ordeal started, my partner and I have had a very rocky ride. The stress of it all is smothering! I am overwhelmed and scared - as I have never been in trouble for anything in my life. My uncertainty in my future is very real and paralyzing. How will I do this, how will my son deal, will my relationship survive, is this going to change me (well this is a stupid question -as it already has and I am not so sure for the better)...I could keep going.

Any way, that is me as of today...

Hi I am Brittney or known on PTO as ro ro. I am a raised catholic turned spiritual bisexual female from Texas who is engaged to a man in TDCJ. My personal philosophy is that it doesn't matter who we love as long as we do love. I don't think you fall in love with someones gender as much as you fall in love with ones soul. So for the souls on PTO whose love knows no boundaries and are living proof of unconditional love... I salute you & welcome you to my pto family! :D

My partner and I just found out that he's been designated to a prison nearly 900 miles away from me. Our relationship has been very unorthodox so far. I'm the good boy, he's the dark seed; I've never been in trouble with the law, he's got quite the record; I've avoided recreational narcotics all my life, he's an addict and a former dealer. For 16 of the 18 months we've been together, we've been separated either by distance or a glass wall. He was in federal holding at a local county jail for a year, so at least I could--and did--make the 60-mile, round-trip journey to visit him three times a week and holidays. Now, three weeks ago, the Feds came and transferred him and he's en route to his designated facility. For two weeks I didn't hear from him, and after a year of at least talking with him nearly every day, those two weeks were hell for me. He called me first chance he could and he's been cosistantly calling every day (I make sure he has money to cover his phone time). The approximate three-year sentence we're facing (we'll know an exact release date once his team meets) is both daunting and seemingly easy. I'm here for support, and to vent; to share and to learn. I'm pretty shy and new to this so, for now that's my story.

Hi All:

My names Mike, and I am a new member to the PT Community. I am a gay man, whose heart -- my man, my husband, will be released in just a little over a year from now. This journey is the weirdest thing I (we) have ever experienced. Unfortunately, he made a bad judgement call, which ended us in this situation. Regardless, our present challenge, I am and always hope to be, solidly by his side. I guess, my greatest fear is how different he will be, when he's finally released. I know he loves and adores me, which I have no doubts. My concerns are: Will the parole board release him to me, his gay male lover, who lives in another state? How will we get along, when he returns home (he's been away for a few years, even though we talk/write weekly...time changes you, when you go without day-to-day, intimate physical interactions)? How difficult will it be for him to find work? Will he transition easily, back to a life with less restrictions? I know these questions can't really be answered, we just have to wait and see (except perhaps, some of you may have suggestions in regard to his release to me, and job search). I just want to say, I miss you (K-man) and I love you. And, I wish all here, good health and well wishes for a joyous and speedy reunion with their loved ones too.

--m.:grouphug:

Hello everyone,

my name is Gilles, I live in Hamburg, Germany with my friend. As an administrator of the cause "Abolish the Death Penalty" on facebook, and as a gay man and HIV/AIDS activist, I was immediately interested in this section of Prison Talk. Thank you for creating such a space. Here's for a short introduction... Peace, Gilles