... but it ain't what it was, either.

Well, I wrote him one of "those" letters explaining some things he did that were leaving me feeling unappreciated, he wrote back saying he doesn't always know what I want, and that he tries to show he cares and said I took things too personally... hmmph!

Well, I admit I can be hard to read, sometimes I just come up with these unspoken expectations, so part of it hurt cause it was true and part of it -- grrrr -- annoyed me. We just get into these power struggles, because yes, we are both control freaks.

Basically I know that I have to drop all expectations and my need to be in control or I will go crazy with him... I hope I can do it.

And so we are both going to keep on working on that communicating because it seems neither of us wants to end this intense and formerly close friendship.

We will see where it goes.

That is good to hear Qwerty! I wish ya all the best :)

sounds positive! good that he is communicating and taking some responsibility- didn't think he was a big enough fool to just let you go!

That is a start. I wish you the best of luck Qwerty!! I hope that he realizes what a wonderful friend he has in you!!!

I wish you both the best...if you work together you can overcome anything!

hey girlie glad thing's aren't over just keep working together :)

Thanks all for your thoughts. :)

It's one day at a time, I guess. There are days when I feel like staying away and others when I am glad we are still working at it.

He DOES realize what a friend he has in me and he does not want me to go. Arrrgh, I wish I could just be a totally casual "penpal" kind of friend and not feel or care so much for him... but it's too late, we been thru way too much... isn't there a pill or something you can take so you just won't care???? that's legal??? :D

Trying to be patient..... NOT my strong suit lol!

communication is key my friend. only time will tell what your future holds... we'll be thinking of you :wave:

Well communication is important in any relationship whether it be friendship or more without it the relationship wont last, so its good you both are gonna try to work at it cuz it takes two to make a relationship work, so i wish you all the best an hope it works out for you two whether your just going to be friends or more so good luck.

I'm sure if both of you care you will find a way to communicate. Good luck, Qwerty!

You all are right, communication is it.... So we are having a loooooonnnnnng sloooooooooowwwwww argument/discussion through the prison's super-snail mail.

I THINK things might be getting better, but waiting a week between letters, it's really hard to tell.

But, well, I said my piece and he said his so hopefully we'll both learn and both want to keep it going. Sigh...

Thanks for all your good wishes..:)

Wish You Both Luck And Hope It Works Out For You

All I can say honey, is keep communicating with him. Life is harder on the inside. I know, I use to work there too. If he loves you, he will stay true to you, if not, you don't need him anyway. I know, not much consolation, but true.



Lisa

[QUOTE=qwerty]Basically I know that I have to drop all expectations and my need to be in control or I will go crazy with him... I hope I can do it.QUOTE]

Truer words were never spoken, errr typed. Okay now get outta my brain!!!

Seriously though, keep doing what your doing and I am certain that together the two of you will find your way...

Big Hugggz,
Patty

He assumes all sorts of things. I have no time for no man out here, nor do I care too. He is my love of a life time. If he only knew and if they only knew what we go thru while they are harping at us on the phone. I love my man. I am in love with my man. It has been 15 long hard years. Never give in, never give up, so true.

Hey Patty, long time no see!! I hope you're right, I keep forgetting that you KNOW things...

Yes it's true Lisa and it is a consolation because I am keeping up the communication but I also really do need to LET GO of expectations and just see what happens...

You can try and lower your expectations by taken it day-by-day. It will be less anticipation and anxiety. From your past posts I know you really care for him, and I hope you'll can get get past this hump - and both come out stronger.

Lorna, yes, when I have less expectations everything is so much easier --- and somehow it lets me appreciate much, much more what we DO have.

We have written and talked it out in letters and are doing really well now. :)

Finding our way in the wilderness...

Thanks everybody for your support! :love: