I was at counceling. I had to go to the city Friday so I went to the office to see what he wanted. He was up here at the post office and just wanted to check up on me and see how I was doing. He is a really nice man. He was at the post office because of the letter, addressed to Jason, that my brother saw. If she finds another letter, she is to call him. He also is giving the store that he is shoplifting in, his picture.

I think he wants him to get busted on another charge. Right now he is just getting him on PV's. He'll go right back to prison. But if he can get him on another charge, that opens up a new sentencing and he can recommend he be sent to a "theraputic community"(medium security, 24 months of drug rehab and mental health). When he is arrested his mom and I are going to write to the judge and ask that that be a consideration. I talked to him about this right after Jason took off and he said that this is the only way that it can happen. His hands are tied.

The stress is mind boggling. I have had several people tell me he looks like death. His mother is getting herself ready to bury him. His sister is waking up at 2 or 3 and throwing up. They are sick. We all are. But the heroin has him and there is nothing we can do. I am terrified someone is going to dump his body here if he OD's. I get up every morning afraid to look out the door.

Luna I really hope that they get him befor this nightmare has to go any father for you.. You are such a strong woman.. Hang in there it will over soon!!!!

I just want to add, that even though we are going through all this, things are actually looking bright for our futures.

I kinda put a stop on my life moving forward because of Jason. Now that is all I am focusing on. If I catch myself wallowing or waffling, I make myself think about the future, things I want to do and getting the mundane everyday things accomplished. Getting my kids ready to face the world. My one just turned 15 and he is autistic and the other is going to be 18, still in the 9th grade, but I am getting him a mobile therapist to deal with the abuse his father did to him, he has a mentor at the school who is a former PO and he is planning on going to Job Corps. Since Jason left the kids are doing great. They have rallied behind me and they are doing very well.

I am getting all my health problems addressed and I have a great doctor, they just upped my meds and I have an excellent psychiatrist and I go to counceling every week with my therapist. She is very smart and I like that, I don't like talking and telling, but she is good. I may have to have a hysterectomy and I am having bariatric surgery. I plan on going back to college to get my degree.

Jason's mom has become one of my best friends and we love each other, she said we are like sisters, and she has been great through all this.

I still hurt and I still cry, but I know that there is nothing I can do and I have to move on.

I know, with God's blessing, we are going to make it. One day at a time.

Hang in there Luna we are here for you
HUGS

Luna,

I am glad to hear that you and the children are making progress. You've all been through some tough times. I admire your courage. I think of all of you often and keep you in my prayers. Stay in touch.

Much Love,
Patty