okay ladies... I have to have lost my mind! I have gotten over the major pissed offness I had going on for 2 days ( i'm still glad I sent that 5 page letter telling him to go to hell, which he will get by tommorow) but after reading all your posts right now, I am feeling so depressed!! My ex man, didnt even care to try to write back or call and I am sure that after he gets that seriously real letter, he isnt going to want to talk to me ever again... which i admit was the point, but you would think that I was at least worth a phone call , if not me then our 6 year old son!!! How lame is that!!! Most of you , when you have left, have gotten more communication from your men! It makes me feel like I wasnt worth trying to hold on to or anything.. How pathetic is that!! Obviously that must be an ego thing.. It can't possibly be rationalized any other way...
wish I could have stayed angry longer... it didnt hurt then!:blah:

girl u are going thru what i was going thru a few days ago.....keep ur head up....it will get better.....and i agree it is an ego thing

Oh hun, I feel ya on this one! I'm going through the same thing right now. My ex must have received my letter because I haven't had any calls or any letters and it's got me majorly depressed. I don't know why because I wanted him to just go away. I think maybe it's just now hitting me that it's over! Stay strong! We can get through this!

Oh hun, I feel ya on this one! I'm going through the same thing right now. My ex must have received my letter because I haven't had any calls or any letters and it's got me majorly depressed. I don't know why because I wanted him to just go away. I think maybe it's just now hitting me that it's over! Stay strong! We can get through this!
SILLY ISNT IT, HOW WE WISH THAT THEY HAD FOUGHT A LITTLE HARDER TO KEEP THE BEST THINGS IN THEIR MISERABLE LIVES!!

SCOTT WONT GET MY LETTER TILL TOMORROW AND I WASNT GETTING ANY CALLS OR LETTERS IN THE LAST 9 DAYS ANYWAYS.... TMORROW WILL JUST SEAL THE FATE.

I'm going through it too,I get angry from time to time but mostly just feel like you do now.It's been 4 weeks since I have talked to him,he hasn't tried to contact me at all and it hurts although I know it is probably better that way.

Hang in there HUGS

i feel ur pain. this just sucks. but don't let him make u feel down on urself. u r a live, wonderful, understanding and lovable person with or without him. i haven't heard from my ex since 2/27/05 and yes it hurts but it does us no good to get down on ourselves. i'm sure he will eventually contact ur son... rosi

(((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))) You will get through this, it's part of the healing process.

like everyone has said hang in there. i left my husband once and he never wrote. when i asked him why (after we got back together) he told me that he didn't know what he was fighting against and also he didn't feel like he had much ground to stand on because he was in prison. i told him that if it ever happens he better fight for what he loves.

kristen

PSSMITH. I understand in one way what you are saying.. It hurts but I really think that it would hurt more to hear his voice. I know that when Louis would try to call I would get mad and he could tell in the tone of my voice.. And as Kristen said he really does not know what you are doing out here and what is he going to say maybe he don't want to fight any more. If he does not contact your son then that is something so different.. I had to not let Louis call and talk to my kids. They are not his and he was saying things to them and asking questions about me and he is not doing that to my girls... Sorry I rambled. Hang in there it will get better!!!

Honey, IT GETS BETTER! Trust me. I don't want him to call or come here. He was mentally and emotionally abusing me just exactly like my ex did, and I am terrified of talking to him. I am more scared of him calling or showing up. I just wish they would arrest him again so I can relax.

No you're not losing your mind!! I totally feel this too.

WHy do we tell them to go away and then wish they'd come around and fight for us? Because part of us (not our heads, but our hearts) still might want them back -- or maybe we just want to know they cared as much as we did, right?

But I don't think you can measure his caring by how much he calls or "fights" to keep you. Whether they try to call you or not has nothing to do with how much they care... it has more to do with pride.

Some men have such BIG egos and pride and they are really good at hiding all their hurt inside them, so even if they want to talk to you, their pride won't let them do it. Plus they have a natural ability to avoid ANYTHING unpleasant as far as emotions go. (OK yes I am generalizing but a lot of men really are like that...)

I know all this because I, too, can be VERY stubborn -- for weeks I did not write or visit my inmate. I still care the world about him but I was not going to write because I have a lot of pride sometimes. :(

So, I don't think you should feel bad or compare yourself to others who have gotten letters or calls after the breakup. Each guy deals (or doesn't) in his own way. I hope he at least gets over his pride for his son's sake though...

And I hope this passes soon, you're right, being angry is so much easier...(((hugs)))

I con understand this completely! We tell them that it is over and to just leave us alone, and they do that. But what we really want for them to do is fight for us, show us how much we meant to them :( I am wishing you great strength and positive thoughts :D

HUGS

Mel