Just had to vent although it is kind of silly as he was locked up two years and before that we didn't live together so I'm used to doing everything on my own.I'm actually very independent but seems like this break up has turned me into a big co dependent,cry baby!! :(

The 3 months he was home it was so nice to have help around here,he was always doing the yards,cleaning the flower beds,sweeping the porch,driveway,sidewalk,general maintenence and helping me clean etc.

So anyways my front porch light fixture broke and part of the glass was stuck in there,of course I sliced my hand up pretty good trying to get it out today:( Took forever to stop the bleeding enough to get bandaids on it.Then had to go to 3 stores to find one that would fit!
Next up were the yards with my crudy lawn mower and big back yard with a hill and full of crab grass they are always a chore but since he left me I find myself getting extra MAD at him and even bawling sometimes when I'm out there having a hard time trying to get it done!



Plus now my gate latch/lock broke and I bought a new one but have no one to help me install it,my trees need trimming (I can ask the landlord for that) and my carpet had to be replaced due to a fire we had while he was cooking,he was supposed to help me pay for it (as well as a few other things) but nope of course not the money never showed up and he hasn't spoken to me since he was supposed to pay me


Just my rant for the day! :angry: :blah:

(((Hugs Cali girl))) If I was closer, I would help you, although I am not very handy, I would try!

I know this is difficult for you but you are an incredible independent woman!! You think your not strong?? P-L-E-A-S-E!!!!! You are making it through every day and I promise you it will get better!!!! Would princess lie to you? No!!!

Oh yah, I read about the whole therapist thing and I wanted to tell you, dont give up! I agree that you need a woman, and you have to have a chemistry with your therapist, as crazy as it sounds, it is so true. Just hang in there.

What do they always say? It cant get any worse, it can only get better right? Well, I think your better days are coming real soon!

(((Hugs))) and I am always here for you!!! Never forget that girl!!!

Cali--I hate having to do all the little handywork around my apartment, I am just not that talented ;) :eek:

Like jeffsprincess said you are so strong and can do it :D Make sure you have some tools as I am sure that you might need those.

If I can help you with anything :confused: just let me know :cool:

HUGS

Mel

I guess I'm lucky, I am pretty handy around the house. I usually find a great deal of satisfaction in the fact that I do get by on my own. Yes, sometimes I wish I had help...but it sure feels good when I'm done and looking at what I've accomplished I always think "damn I did that, and I did it pretty good"!

Cali I can kind of understand what you are saying. I know when Louis first got out he would help me with everything and then he just started to bark orders for me to do.. So in a way it is better that It is just me and the girls now cause if I don't want to do the dishes I don't and no one can say anything to me.. As for fixing things in my house I have learned alot about things. I like to take on the projects to show myself that I really don't need a man in help out!!! Hang in girl you are making progress!!!

When my guy left,I had all my barn and house to do again. And you know what? It felt GOOD! So just wrap your head around that burned carpet and be glad it's not worse. Say thank you that it's just minimal damage, and keep movin' on! Good luck.

Awwww honey!

I can't really say to much. I have always done everything, no matter what kinda damn man was around. My ex didn't even know how to put gas in the friggen car!
When he moved out, he called one day and he said, "It is such a waste of electricity to put one fork in the dishwasher so I can eat"! I damn near passed out. I said, "If you are to G.D. lazy to wash the fork in the sink, you deserve to starve death"!

Jason was just as worthless.

I seem to land men that are weak or brain-dead and I lose all respect for them because I can do it myself, better and faster. My whole damn family is full of strong, forceful, can-do women that kick a**. My dad made me learn how to charge a battery, change a tire and change the oil before I could have the car and I can really troubleshoot a problem. I even crawled under it one day and tied up the muffler with a wire coat hanger. (Must be the red-neck woman in me;)) I can fix my computer, patch walls, paint, sh*t, you name it, I'll go for it. I even took a toilet apart, changed the ring and pulled a damn toy out of it.

Housework!!!! I have two lazy a** boys that think mommy is a maid. They eat all the time, 3 loads of laundry a day, MUD everywhere.....! Plus I have to listen to their mouths and they are like a couple of bull moose and anytime they move, something falls, breaks, gets thrown or torn, you name it......! My house is a circus. One time I got so damn sick of it, I took a garbage bag and threw everything away. Then I had to go buy all new dishes and stuff.

Just do one thing at a time and take all the pleasure and satisfaction in knowing you did something and learned something new.

I would say it's a bigger rush than sex, but I haven't had sex in 16 years, so right now any kinda rush works for me:)!

P.S. The light fixture? Next time, cut a potato in half and jam it on the glass and use that to take it out.

Lottsa love hon, and I swear it will get better soon.

I actually don't mind doing that stuff as I did it all alone for years just seems like now though when I have a hard time it gives me another reason to be mad at him and sad about him being gone.Thats probably just typical of a new break up though,everything gets to me in one way or another


P.S.Dang my fingers hurt from the slices!!! Oh Luna it wasnt the lightbulb part it was the glass bulb cover thing that broke off and got stuck in there

{{{Hugs}}} I feel the same way waiting for him to come home. Sometimes upset with all I have to do and then on the other hand glad I have alot to do to keep me busy. It's an emotional roller coaster til time heals it. Take care of that hand gal.
God bless.

I actually miss doing things like that for people.

I met a lady through the voluntere organization Mrs and I joined a few years ago. The woman that runs the office kind of invited herself and another lady friend to go on our canoe trip. We really didn't mind. We had a blast. This woman was a firstly a survivor af an abusive husband, and she managed to pick herself up and start a new life and married a very good man only to loose him to cancer. Her kids were disowning her in this and her ex was a complete jerk.

She managed to finally get her own house. It needed work but was really a great buy. I'd drive from here to there and mow her lawn, fix plumbing, wire in appliances, fix her vehicles. I loved it until she made the statement that she felt like a second wife. That ticked me off. She did not have to go there. She was the only real friend I had outside my wife. I liked helping her. There were no strings attached. I didn't expect to be paid, she couldn't afford it anyway. She was diagnosed with (I'm going to misspell this word) celiacs disease. She had to go on a gluton free diet for life. To not would kill her. I was in the hospital with her when she had nobody by her side. She couldn't even feed herself, but she had to go there. I'm still mad.

I didn't do it to woo her, or have ulterior motives. I did it because I grew to love her. Not like a wife kind of love, but she is a darn fine person. I miss her still.

My wife say's she was taking advantage of me but I didn't think so. What ever happened to just giving a damn about people. We seem to have lost that in America. To give a damn enough to shut up and just help people. I can not save the world, but I can make a difference in one life and that does affect the world a little bit.

Cali, I truely wish I were there.

Cali...bless you hon.....i am thankful for my teenage son so i dont have to do that kind of stuff....but i understand what u mean about finding more reasons to get mad at him...sometimes i think it is a defense so we dont miss them..it is easer on our heart to be mad at them then to miss them