I was wondering if you have kept his letters or if you through them out? I have them put up but have been thinking about pitching them, but am having a hard times because we talked in depth about life. Also did any of you send him pics. Do you worry about what will happen to them, or if the are all over his cellblock by now?

Eventually I did throw them away, but not any hand painted cards. No matter what a jerk he was, I can't throw away the beautiful cards he had made for me. - and luckily my husband agrees!

He had pics and took them out of prison with him.. I have no idea what he did with them.

I threw away all of his letters because I would catch myself just reading them over and over and it just made me mad each time I would read about how he was so done with that life, etc.. (he went back to dope after he got out)... I did keep a few of the cards he made me and a couple other cute things he made in there.. I put them away though. I sometimes wish I would have kept his letters because they were special to me but I know I would have just kept reading them and kept revisiting the pain that they caused....

As for pictures, when he got out I had all of his stuff at my house still while he was living somewhere else.. so before I gave him his stuff back, I went through and took out the pics of myself that I wanted to keep.. All of my letters I had written to him were still in there too and I debated about tossing them, but I didn't... I asked him later if he kept the letters I had written to him and he said he did...

Throw them out? I'm supposed to throw that stuff out? Heck honey I still have all the letters from 18 years ago when the old man was in the joint!!! Crack me right up! it never occured to me to throw them away!LOL

From my relationship from 1984-1986 I threw out all the letters, but kept the photos. Which is okay seeing he has been deceased for a couple of years now. On my more recent break up I still have everything...letters, photos and cards. I figure if I throw out the letters I will do that whenever I am ready to do so.

I put them all away in a box in my closet as well as all of our pictures,gifts he gave me, etc.
Everything that reminds me of him dating back to when we were first together 15 years ago is all in that box.

I put all of the letters away. I did not keep them to reread but I kept them in case he trys to pull something in the future. as for the photos I kept them with the letters in the box. I sent him some pictures not ones that you would show Mom. He sent them all back along with the pictures of my kids..

All the letters I have collected so far are safely in a box and will be going back to his mother's house along with his possessions! He can keep them all, as for the letters that keep arriving right now I have been giving them to my mother to hold on too, right now I'm too weak to deal with them, but once I'm completely over this I plan to read them all and then burn them....

I keep all of the ones he sends me. But I had to confess something to him. :D Back when he was being transfered from county to county, before he would leave each one he would mail all the letters home that I wrote him, and cards and letters from his mom, brother etc: Well, I kept everything for him, except the letters I wrote him. I don't know why. I guess I am a private person, but I really have nothing to hide, except sex talk, LMAO and I have seen careless people just leave stuff like personal letters just laying around for anyone to read. I guess that is where the fear came from, LOL. I know he isn't like that. When I told him I threw away the letters from me he said those were very sentimental to him, and I should not have done that. So now I feel bad.

last time i got rid of all his letters and i also gave away all the expensive lingerie i'd bought for when he got out and the dress i planned to marry him in. we got back together and i was sorry i'd done that. this time i will keep all 8 letters he sent me. i'm gonna tie a yellow ribbon around them and put them up in the top of my closet. but what do i do with all his legal paperwork, the letters he came home from prison with and his clothes? i guess, i'll pack them up and store them too as his family doesn't live anywhere near me or him.

Even though my hubby and my relationship is not officially over, when I did leave him for a few months awhile back and had no intention of going back to him (i even packed all his stuff and sent it to his grandma) i did not throw anything away. i figured maybe someday our daughter would want to read the letters and look at the cards and everything and see that we did truly love each other at one point in time. My hubby doesn't ever see his other kid, so i also figured if he did the same thing to our daughter she would have at least something to remember him by.

I keep all of the ones he sends me. But I had to confess something to him. :D Back when he was being transfered from county to county, before he would leave each one he would mail all the letters home that I wrote him, and cards and letters from his mom, brother etc: Well, I kept everything for him, except the letters I wrote him. I don't know why. I guess I am a private person, but I really have nothing to hide, except sex talk, LMAO and I have seen careless people just leave stuff like personal letters just laying around for anyone to read. I guess that is where the fear came from, LOL. I know he isn't like that. When I told him I threw away the letters from me he said those were very sentimental to him, and I should not have done that. So now I feel bad.
ooops, I ran out of time to edit. I forgot to add that we are together.(I didn't realize this was the "when the relationship is over" forum) But I still threw the ones I wrote him away :D :p ;) :) and I still regret it, Peace

girl you know I threw them away just recently. I was so fearful that I would read them and fall for him again because of the mental hold he had on me was strong. I guess you have to do what is best for you and if that is throwing them away, well then throw them away :D

HUGS

Mel

No, I save all of ours, mine and his, and always will, whatever happens between us. They are a chronicle of all we've lived through, which is a lot. But we are also still writing -- I've booted him out of my heart, but not my life.

I have all of the old pictures and trinkets, i have what i like to call "the bad boyfriend box"... its full of pictures and memorabilia from past relationships gone wrong. Although Dave is my ex (from like 4 years ago) his letters arent in the "box" because we are friends. I dont have anything from our previous stint, but even if we go our separate ways, i will always keep the letters. Most recently, me and my ex (jesse) broke up, i was in the mist of moving, so his "stuff" is in a separate box, but eventually will make it into the bad boyfriend box. Its nice to be able to look back and remanice upon it when I am able to... just cant yet.

I burned all of mine from Mike. It took a few months for me to be able to. At first I was going to throw them away then I thought of how many I had and how my address was on them so to be safe I burned everyone of them. I would find myself reading them and getting upset at him for all the things he said he would change and didn't. So I chose to burn them to let go that was part of my healing process.
You have to decide what is best for you and good luck with that.

This has been something that has been on my mind a lot lately ((whether to keep or trash the lettes my fiance has sent to me since he's been down)). So far I have a whole drawer filled with letters. He will be home in less than a year and as special as his letters are to me, I am considering throwing them away when he comes home because we do not want to be reminded of this hell. There are so many beautiful letters I have from him though, so I am still debating! :D

Sat in front of my woodstove for about 3 hours.

His letters: everything was a lie.

My letters: what the hell was I thinking?

I kept pictures I had sent and my poems and stories. They are my soul and he will never get any part of that. That is mine!

Well, I had them all in a stack looking at them one day, and I was wantin to pitch em, but I decided to just put em up and save em....One day, far down the road, when Im with someone else and happy, I'll come across them, and appriciate the happiness I have even more!!! And plus, its kinda like memorbilia for the past half year of my life i guess you could say....Thank god i didnt have to worry about the pics...we were over after he got out!!

*sigh* I have all of the letters and pictures maria sent me .... I doubt it's good to dwell on what cannot be.. but still I wonder ... what could have been

I took up all his letters (over 100 from the first six months he was in!), and all of the photos of us together (except for my favorite that I can't bear to part with). I bundled them with ribbon, and burned them in a good-bye "ceremony". I felt better afterwards...

Well I spent yesterday boxing up everything. I was ready to walk to the dumpster and throw the whole box out but my sister told me to keep it in case he goes psycho (like he hasn't already) and I need them to "prove something." The really personal things pertaining to his deceased parent I mailed back to him. I just stuck it in an envelope and mail it...no note.

I have no sentimentality to anything in that box.

I do wonder what he will do with my pics. You see he sent ME his ex girlfriend's pics to prove a point to me that they were out of his life. I am sure he is going to do that to the next girl he hooks up with...send her my pics.:eek: :angry:

i've kept all of my letters since we met back in january 2001. i have every single letter and also all of the cards he sent to me and plus to top it off i have them all in order the way he sent them and we are still together

I still have every single envelope and letter...4 years worth...and they are from 1981 to 1985 so they are 20+ years old. ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!! They are all boxed up in my closet./..my present husband doesn't mind they are there either. I just don't know what the heck to do with them...I was saving them for my son who was born one month after his death...figure someday he might want to read them? But then again, I am not sure I would want our son to read them...someday I guess I will have to go through them and pitch the ones that I wouldn't want my son to read and only keep the ones that are ok. I dunno!
Raina

I have kept every piece of mail. I do not touch them - I avoid them as they burn like fire. I cannot bring myself to throw away the love, the hope, and all the wonderful feelings they gave me. They are part of my past, part of who I am, and a part I am not ready to let go of. For now they sit all bundled in a special box. When I come across it, I am reminded of what was, and how far I have come. I have moved on but I have not forgotten.



I was wondering if you have kept his letters or if you through them out? I have them put up but have been thinking about pitching them, but am having a hard times because we talked in depth about life. Also did any of you send him pics. Do you worry about what will happen to them, or if the are all over his cellblock by now?

good points might be joining you guys group any day now, not sure what the business is between us yet:confused: . but those are some good points...see i'm expecting the worse and i've been thinking those same things!:cool: even said if it is over, i'm going to burn them bad babies! see i'm a gemini ya'll and um we can be your best friend or your worse enemy!:eek:

no i wouldnt throw them away. i have all his letters, cards, and pictures stored in shoe boxes in my closet. we are still good friends right now, but even if we werent, i still wouldnt throw those things away.

I threw all the letters out. I shredded them up and dumped them in the trash. As for pix, I have no idea what he has done with them. It only makes me wonder. I had sent him some in my undies, so sometimes I wonder where they are. Good thing is they were printed off the computer and the quality wasnt 100%. I'm hoping he tore them up and threw them out too. :confused:

When I packed all his stuff up to send to storage, i kept all my letters to him, and his (few) to me, but passed along the ones from other people. I need my letters to remind me how good I was to him, and how clearly I told him I loved him. I need his to remind me how mercurial his moods were and how deep his viciousness. I need them as my guard and shield to keep me from thinking "he's changed" when he gets out again in November.