View Full Version : falling in love with my penpal


izabelle24
03-24-2005, 01:17 PM
hi i was wondering iif anyone had ever fell in love with their penpal, i have , and im really confused i think about him all the time , i never planned for this to happen but he is the kindest sweetest person in the world and im really struggling with my feelings at the moment, ive never even visited him because i live in the uk ive never even been abroad before although i would love to see him more than anything.:confused:

hesavedme
03-24-2005, 01:25 PM
I fell in love with my penpal.It took a long time to admit it and then an even longer time to decided to be with him.When I decided I loved him it was even before i decided to visit.I know exactly how you feel, but still procede with caution.You have to remember that he's still a man and even more he's in prison.These relationships can be very hard on both us and them.You can't just jump into these kinds of things.If you think you love him then ask yourself why???If you find that your feelings are truely genuine then tell him & if all goes well talk about maybe going to visit him.Love is a wonderful thing isen't it and it's always comes when you least expect it and with whom you'de least expect.Good luck and if you need to talk pm me....nikki

Smileyinez
03-24-2005, 06:57 PM
Youíll be surprised how many people are out there that have fallen for their pen pals! I am one of them! James and me have been official for over 3 months now. Just follow your heart, I believe that when a chance to experience love comes along why steer away from it its worth the experience. Just be careful I am not saying that your pen pal might or is lying but it happens a lot when someone is locked up especially for long periods of time they are looking for any time of contact with the outside world! I say go for it and donít be afraid just careful! But if he starts asking for money or anything illegal I would really put up red flags. The next step is to see how he really feels about you! I hope everything works out for the best. Just know that your not alone!!!! Just take this time to get to know each other its a great way to build a strong bond even if just for friendship!

FoundLove
03-25-2005, 03:12 AM
I fell in love with my pen pal too. I never planned it either. I haven't been able to visit him yet but hopefully will be soon.
It took me a long time to admit it to myself but in the end there was no way for me to deny it any longer. Follow your heart and everything will work out fine.
If you want to talk some more, just pm me.
All the best.

butterflydazzel
03-25-2005, 03:22 AM
It is so easy to fall for someone that gives you undivided attention, and when its real, the whole experience is very special. Be cautious though. If this is your first pen pal and you have strong feelings be sure that they come from the right place in your heart. Probably best if you get to know him and if you are open with him about your feelings and about the way you think. Take the time to understand your own feelings before you commit to making such a long trip. I have the same feelings for my pen pal but it took a long time before I was absolutely sure. Dont be afraid to question why you are feeling the way you are and be true to yourself. If it was meant to be the future belongs to both of you.

Good luck and please feel free to pm if you feel like it. :) :thumbsup: :rolleyes:

MrsPhil
03-25-2005, 03:48 AM
Like the others have said, a lot of people fall in love with their pen pals. I don't really consider my man a pen pal because when I first starting to write to him it was with a purpose and I sought out this man specifically to write to. After wring a couple of months I visited him and we fell in love. We gave now been together for 4 years.

mrskendrick2you
03-28-2005, 09:11 PM
I am DEFINITELY in love with my baby who just so happened to have started out as a penpal. I have not seen him yet but I will soon. It doesnt matter. He is my baby and I am proud of it!

Congrats to you!

mikefrye6988
03-30-2005, 04:29 AM
;) :p my boyfriend is at corcoran in the gym.does anyone know of anyone else in the gym there? i need to ask some pretty important questions. so any one that can relate please reply. thanx. my user name is his not mine. so just know that i am a girl not a boy .just incase it mattered. ha ha :cool:

TAZI
03-30-2005, 05:24 AM
I fell in love with sombody else's penpal! :-)
By chance!
It was meant to be!

rottn
03-30-2005, 05:51 AM
It can and does happen. By having only words, you get to know someone better than being out on the street, where the physical can cloud alot. I've fallen for a pen pal before and it really messed up my mind, I couldn't figure out how it happened.

Schmusi34
03-30-2005, 07:01 AM
Does it really matter how it happened? That it happened should be enough :)

mikefrye6988
03-30-2005, 11:14 PM
yes, i believe that love can happen in so many instances but true love stands taller ,grows strong.in sight and writting. truth is the grounds for perfect love. compromise is what makes it last.respect keeps it sincere.sex makes it fun. ha ha !!!!

mikefrye6988
03-30-2005, 11:20 PM
ive read all the threads ,and have noticed all the different locations we are all in .so i was woundering where are your penpals located? far? , near? i was just curious, because some of you say that you still havent seen them /met in person. and i was just curious on your reasons why?

Jessiegirl813
03-31-2005, 01:08 AM
I'm falling in love with my pen pal also but i am taking it one day at a time, I also have never visted him and have been writing for almost 1 1/2 now hes never asked for money or brought up wierd sex talk.

I think that you should just follow your heart but dont leave my mind far behind cause i know that it can be an incredibly scary feeling falling for someone whos not around and who you have never see. And its also hard to keep your mind from wandering in to the what if's and all the wonderful imaginary situations that involve him.

All we can try to do is be careful and try not to falling to hard. If you ever need to vent feel free to PM me!

Jessica

jabbasgirl33
03-31-2005, 02:45 AM
I met my man on a visit through my sister who was visiting a friend who is a inmate. I was nerves at first but once we started talk it was like we knew each other forever. The visit went so well that i went back two days later. We started to write one another and talk on the phone. I never in my wildness dreams though that i would even visit much less fall in love with a man in prison.He never ask me for anything and it's been 13mos now and we are getting married next month:thumbsup: I will keep everyone post on my big day!:yay: :yay: :yay:

vngflsunshine
03-31-2005, 04:50 PM
This website is great!!:) My penpal and I also fell in love, but I am still proceeding with caution. I am in MN and he is in AZ. Hopefully someday i will be able to visit him. Im just glad that I am not the only one in love with their penpal!!

izabelle24
04-01-2005, 12:08 PM
i wish i wasnt in love with mine every time i think of him my stomach goes all funny , but i feel awful because i so much want to be able to see him and we are in different countrys so its not like i can just pop down the road to visit him why does life have to be so difficult

missj_97211
04-01-2005, 01:59 PM
I am in love with my pen pal who I have been writing to for almost 6 years. We met for the first time in Oct of 04 and the visit went well, but as soon as I got home he called to tell me he doesn't want to be in a relationship with me. I have never been more hurt in my entire life. I love this man completely. He says that he still loves me too, but that he has other things he has to focus on. I am forced to move on. I just want to caution you because even when both people love each other and it comes from a good, respectful and honest place, the constraints of prison and doing time can cause even the most beautiful relationship to end.

soulmates4ever
04-01-2005, 10:23 PM
I Wrote My Pen Pal Who Is Now My Husband For 12 Years
We Started As Pen Pals And It Took Me Along Time To Admit To Him And To My Self That I Was In Love
I Had Met Someone On The Outside And I Told Him And So We Stopped Writting For 6 Years
And When I Found Him And Started Writting Again It Was Like Our Love Was So Much Stronger And Everyday That Goes By Now We Are Stronger And Stronger

We Are More Then Husband And Wife We Always Were More Then Pen Pals
We Are And Always Been The Best Of Friends
I Cant See My Life With Out Him Ever

mrskendrick2you
04-02-2005, 02:07 AM
Soulmates I couldn't agree with you more.

That's how it is with my pal. He is MY BEST FRIEND, he is MY SOULMATE, and I can not imagine my life without him in it. Since DAY ONE... he and I hit it off in ways that I never have with anybody on the outside before.... and yes I have been in a relationship with someone who was in prison before, so its not just b/c of the undivided attention, or because of his "words", it is because it is Destiny and it is the real thing :D

True Love does not lie. :thumbsup:

Rusty265
04-02-2005, 03:18 PM
I haven't fallen for any of my pen pals personally. I adore them all in different ways, and appriciate them corresponding with me...but that's a love for writing, and a love of the correspondence. I have been writing them since December, and a few since January, so its not been a development of love even as a friend yet. We'll see what happens in the future, but I don't forsee it ever becoming "love". Lots of ladies here know more about this than I do.

TanCam1360
04-04-2005, 10:35 AM
My closest pal and I have slowly built a very close friendship, and just recently I realized that I had begun falling in love with him. I haven't told him how I feel, and don't know if I ever will. He's doing life, and honestly I don't know if I can be in it for the long haul in the form of a committed relationship, other than being his friend. He said some things when I went to visit him last Friday, that were indicative that he also felt that way, but we didn't discuss it any further. I think it's a situation where neither one of us wants to be the first to say "I love you".

Jessiegirl813
04-05-2005, 01:25 AM
I know the feeling. I am falling for my pen pal, hard and fast! But im holding back and its just cause i want to protect my heart and my sanity but i find myself thinking about him all the time and i have never ever met the man in person but i can tell you more about him then i think he knows about himself!! I plan to go visit him in the near future but i have a feeling that will just make it harder.

And as bad as it sounds i kinda just want him to mess up and say something wrong so i stop all this cause i just dont want to fall and get hurt, its self sabotage. I mean 14 months writing and never once has he brought up sex or money and hes the biggest encouragement i have. But still.....

Can anyone else relate??

ChandaMija
04-09-2005, 03:41 AM
*grins! I'm so glad I found this thread! I did a search before posting a new thread, so... I met a woman on PTO in winter 2004, she gave me a penpal's name *John in early-spring 2004, John and I became penpals, John gave his buddy Mickey my address, I heard from Mickey in late-spring 2004 or so, we became penpals as well, I got approved on his list on NYE 2004, I saw him in Jan. 2005, I met his mother, cellie, & friends all at once in March 2004, I plan to send in the notarized visitor's form for my child this year.. Mickey is calling me his, and he's very into me. He asked me the right kinds of questions and wants to know who/what I am. I hold myself back believing it may be infatuation. His minimum ERD is in 2009, that doesn't really matter much. I've been hurt by my ex who got out and dumped me and by men on the outside, so I prefer to have an incarcerated relationship... Things are safer for me that way, I think. I live with a relative 280 miles south of him and he's a state away... Go figure. I saw him ~30 times already and it's April 2005. Anyhoo, my point is that we both suspect it's fate that brought me to Mickey but I don't wanna believe it...

MSVETRN
04-09-2005, 09:46 AM
hi i was wondering iif anyone had ever fell in love with their penpal, i have , and im really confused i think about him all the time , i never planned for this to happen but he is the kindest sweetest person in the world and im really struggling with my feelings at the moment, ive never even visited him because i live in the uk ive never even been abroad before although i would love to see him more than anything.:confused:
Yes...I fell in love with my penpal and we were just married on TUESDAY, April 5th!!!!!

JustLisa
04-09-2005, 04:54 PM
*grins! I'm so glad I found this thread! I did a search before posting a new thread, so... I met a woman on PTO in winter 2004, she gave me a penpal's name *John in early-spring 2004, John and I became penpals, John gave his buddy Mickey my address, I heard from Mickey in late-spring 2004 or so, we became penpals as well, I got approved on his list on NYE 2004, I saw him in Jan. 2005, I met his mother, cellie, & friends all at once in March 2004, I plan to send in the notarized visitor's form for my child this year.. Mickey is calling me his, and he's very into me. He asked me the right kinds of questions and wants to know who/what I am. I hold myself back believing it may be infatuation. His minimum ERD is in 2009, that doesn't really matter much. I've been hurt by my ex who got out and dumped me and by men on the outside, so I prefer to have an incarcerated relationship... Things are safer for me that way, I think. I live with a relative 280 miles south of him and he's a state away... Go figure. I saw him ~30 times already and it's April 2005. Anyhoo, my point is that we both suspect it's fate that brought me to Mickey but I don't wanna believe it...


:) :) :)
I love being the initial matchmaker.... I will make sure to let *John ;) know how things worked out... :) :)

ChandaMija
04-11-2005, 01:34 PM
Lisa, lolol! Do go let *John know! :-D
I'm really happy in all aspects in life except... My parents doesn't like me liking a convicted inmate. In my life, ONLY 2 persons are against our relationship but they have a tremendous effect on how I feel when I talk to them about him. It's frustrating..

JeremysFinancee
04-11-2005, 01:56 PM
Me and my financee started out as pen pals. We started talking when he first got locked up. Which was in early 2004 We fell in love. But I got lonely and needed someone on the outside to show me a little attention. So to be I found it but i wasnt satisfied because it wasn't my financee, Jeremy. Well, i had tried to write him agian but my letters keep coming back. Then in December of 2004 he wrote me and we have been back together ever since. We plan on getting married on my birthday, September 30th. I love him so much. I never thought that things between us would turn out this way. But i know that it is real and that it is meant to be.

donnies angel
04-11-2005, 03:10 PM
I fell in love with one of my penpals, wrote visited did all the normal things, 3 1/2 yrs of waiting, finally he got out we moved in together, 2 months of really goodtimes, i had to go to my son's for 1 month, and 2 days before thanksgiving i told him that when he came in for turkey day i was going back with him, i received an email telling me it was over, not to come back, he was sorry never meant for it to happen. then at 5am his new girlfriend called to tell me he didnt want me.
thinking i should have learned my lesson. huh? well i didn't . i met another penpal who will be getting out anyday now and i am jumping back into that frying pan. but this time, i am being much more cautious.
if they start out asking for help then for my own opinion, run!

hollandkim
04-20-2005, 03:06 AM
Hi Well Ive fallen in love with my penpall to... Vinnie and I have gotten so close!! I always thought if I saw something like this on the TV or so that those people where just crazy or not capable of finding someone in real life... :( Well I guess Im that crazy person now and I get those reactions also... BUT!! What do I care? Im in love and it feels great.. we have discussed our feelings. And he says that he would understand if i stopped writing him cause hes the one doing time and not me so he understands that i have needs also.. Hes so sweet.. We havent been official yet but Im going to visit him at the end of the year for the first time and thats the point where Im gonna make the dicision for myself. See if we can get along for real..... :D

Dixie_sweetie
04-23-2005, 03:16 PM
I haven't fell in love with my friend yet. He isn't a pen pal because we met through my now ex *Mike* who gave *Joe* my addy to wrote to keep him informed on how Mike was doing when Mike got moved to antoher prison. But I do have feelings for Joe and think a lot of him and am planing on keeping in touch when he gets out next summer. I have never visited him, but I do know his sister and his mom through my mom who all work together.
Our letters started out about Mike then Mike got in some trouble at work release and I broke it off and Joe was so sweet about it all, he listened to me and helped me through things, he even informed how Mike loved me he knew he did but Mike just couldn't stay away from the drugs and I was doing the right thing by leaving him.
A few months later I felt like I was falling for Joe and I am but don't know if its just cause he says things I want to hear or need to hear or if it is meant to be we both agree that we have feelings for eachother but that we want to wait until he gets out into the world so we both see if he has changed and can stay that way.
But i am enjoying every letter I get LOL and knowing I am "loved by Joe" thats how he signs them LOL.
Wish all of you the best with your loved ones!!

wee b
04-23-2005, 04:33 PM
I too have faling for one of my pen pals, it all happened very quickly, but I think that that is mainly due to the fact that we have both lived a lot of the same things, he is 12 years younger but so much older in so manny ways. I have had and still do have a lot of pen pals but James just stood out from all the rest and now we plan to marry upon his release in 2007.

croakerqueen
04-28-2005, 09:09 PM
I'm starting to really fall for my pen pal....we've only been talking for about 3-4 months, but he's so wonderful. He also has other pen pals, so it's not the undivided attention thing...

But I wouldn't even know how to bring it up in a letter that I have a crush on him...:(

snoopy
05-02-2005, 09:54 AM
Missing You Ruben

I felt in love with my penpals were only 6months since i stared writting and talking to him in the phone i went and Visit him i meet his family and we are like a normal relation ship even though he has 14years more to go we are planning our weeding.
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