I have a feeling a lot of us who were left have the same thoughts or maybe not who knows actually.I'm just curious what is it that sticks in your mind and drives you crazy trying to figure out as to WHY ? Wishing you could get an answer even though you may never get one or get one you are satisfied with anyways.Whats the one thing you want to ask him?



For me the biggest thing right now is still "HOW could he do this to ME?" Me of all people the one who has 15 years of history,his first love,the only one who has ever loved him unconditionaly and supported him through everything.The one he said was the greatest love of his life and the best woman he has ever known.The one who was crushed when we broke up the first time ages and ages ago yet he can do it to me AGAIN? HOW????

yep...that's a good question. I would ask the same exact question if I could. I always wonder if he is looking down on me and our son somehow. SOmetimes I look straight up to the sky and start cursing like a sailor at him (lol)...big ol' lunkhead. :(
Raina hugs to you too!

and I agree with you. How DARE him do that to you...you are so sweet and kind and wonderful. It is definately HIS loss. :(
Raina Cali...does he use or drink? could that explain his behavior?

I definitely wasn't with my guy as long as you were Cali, but I had the same question as you did and I think that is what bothers me the most.. He always told me I was the most amazing woman he knew.. so how could he leave me??? How could he do this to ME? I have a job, kids, my own place, car, I was good to him, never been arrested, stable, etc... He was from the streets, drug addict, and I loved him unconditionally... didn't judge him for the things he had done in his past..

One night he came here higher than a kite (several months after we were over and he was with someone else) my kids had fallen asleep on the couch and he and I were talking in my bedroom.. I was bawling my eyes out, asking him how he could have left me and done this to me.. He walked me out to the living room and pointed to my kids and he said, "right there is the reason I couldn't stay with you, I love you and those babies too much to drag you through my life and addiction with me." I wanted to slap him and tell him that is just a lame excuse.. but in all actuality, I think that is the truth. I am not from his world and he cared about me enough to not want to destroy me like he has everyone else...

Does that make it any easier on me?? Sometimes it does, sometimes it doesn't. It makes me sad that he won't beat his addiction and I learned that my love could not cure him...

Does your guy have addiction issues?? If so, maybe that is one of the reasons for it happening...
Hugs to you and everyone else here too...

I think that is the biggest question that we ask when it those particular shoes....WHY ME? I am not sure if there is an answer that will ever be satisfying, just like you said. I know how it feels, because I have been there many times. Sometimes it feels like if you get the answer that works then you will feel better, but I am not sure if that would really happen.

I want to give you some more ((HUGS)) just in case you need them :D

HUGS

Mel

For me it was because what he did was so unnecessary. He made promises to my daughter and I that he had to have had no intentions of keeping. It wasn't so much that he hurt me, its the pain he caused my daughter.

Scott used to talk unend about how much he missed his own kids and felt bad because he wasn't there for them. He compalined about how his family would make promises to his kid and not keep them... yet he did the very same thing to my daughter.... even after telling her that he thought of her as his own!

Then when he contacted me MONTHS later, in rehab, and crying to me that he felt SO sorry for what had happened I was even more astonished. He actually expected that I would start our friendship back up and that I would come to see him! I can forgive Scott for what he did to me, after all because of it I'm now married to the love of my life, but I can never forgive him for the emotional harm he did to my daughter.

oh I am glad I kept reading Mrs Dragon and see this was not your husband! I need to believe that some men mean what they say and are faithful!

No Cet, not about mr. D ;) He's one of a kind and I'm a lucky woman to have him in my life. Scott was my first prison love and actually was Mr. D's work out partner. After Scott abandoned me the way he did - after telling all his friends about what a great life he was going to have with me - his friends walked away from him. Mr. D was not the only one of his friends who wrote or called to tell me that they were appalled at what Scott did to me and that they no longer considered him a friend.

If I believed in revenge, it would be sweet in my situation. Scott not only lost the best woman he ever met, he also lost my daughters love and respect, his childrens love and respect as well as most of his friends - one of them who had been his friend since childhood.

I didn't remember your husbands first name and I usually don't read thru the "new posts" so sometimes something big is going on and I am unaware! I do remember the story of how you met Mr Dragon! The fact that Scott's friends would tell you about what he did, and that he would lose their friendship, shows that integrity does matter to some people and that includes inmates!
Well I am thinking that diamond on my left hand is going to mean marriage a lot sooner than I had thought. We just discussed it on the phone.