Hey all, I want to say this is a great and much-needed forum here... I hope you all get some relief from the pain soon.

I guess I am leaving my guy, for a few months he has been so self-centered and just isn't there for me anymore. He isn't my b/f but we have been so close, much more than friends, so this is still very painful.

I guess I'm gonna write him once more so he knows how I feel, but I don't have hope that it will do any good. He is happy that his ex is back in his life so I don't think he'll even mind me leaving.

Anyway, I may be hanging out here more real soon... thanks for being here.

qwerty--

((HUGS)) to you! I know that this is a hard time and that is why we are here, to support every single person that is in the process of going through this or just getting over it. I know that you are a strong individual and you are doing the right thing. You have to do what is right for you and no one else. If he has not been there for you in awhile than maybe it is time to give him a reality check. If you ever need anything, just remember I am a PM away...

HUGS

Mel

I am sorry you are going through this. Sending hugs and positive thoughts your way. Stay strong sweetie!

I am very sorry to hear this. Know that we are all here for you. Hopefully, things will work out for the best with all concerned.

Prayers and thoughts go up to you.

Thats really too bad that he has curbed you like that.....but just remember that there are thousands of guys sitting alone in prison who would appreciate you and adore your loyalty. Lost Vault is full of kind and lonely people! Take care and again I'm so sorry.

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Q}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} had been wondering how you were.

qwerty ~ i am so sorry you are having to deal with this, the end of anything can bring such ups and downs, good and bad, greif and happiness, but when you look at it, everything is 50/50. i really hope you find hapiness with the path you choose to follow and we never want you to leave PTO...let that be known! :) lots of love to you

aww qwerty i'm here for you i left my lifer about 4 months ago and me and a long time friend start talking and one thing lead to the other i feel great and i love my lifer at one time i jus felt it wasn't right for me

qwerty letting go is a very hard thing to do. It is sad that he can't have you in his life anymore. But after the pain there is a rainbow and it is such a wonderful thing to see after so much gray.. Wishing you nothing but the best of luck!!!

I'm so sorry to hear this Qwerty :(

HUGS to you

awww Q, some men don't know a good thing til it's gone. ((hugs))

((((HUGS)))) to you qwerty. I,m also sorry you are dealing with this. :(

Hang tough girl, better things (and men :D) are on the horizon.

Stacy

Woah...woah...what happened girl? The last I heard things went so great when you went to visit him in PV???? Oh honey, I'm so sorry to hear this. I just want to cry right now. You've been such a strength to me Qwerty and it kills me to see you going through this. I know he wasn't you're b/f but you both were so past that.....the friendship was tight! Dang I don't even know where to begin????? I'm here for you girl no matter what, now I can return the favor. Remember when you were there for me when Bobby was fighting the new case....I luv ya girl and please PM me if you need to talk or just vent okay! Big ((((((HUGS)))))) to you sweetie and you do what you think is right. Don't you think it would be better to talk to him in person, or no? That way he can hear what you have to say face to face and vice versa....it's up to you. I'm here for you honey! :( :grouphug: :cry: :shrug: :grouphug:

I am dang sure you have made a permanent mark on his heart, and for the better. And he on yours. But I don't think you're supposed to let him torture you forever either, and unfortunately he doesn't seem to really understand that so it's good that you do understand that

so sorry. I would think everyone would want as many friends as possible in their life.

awwww Qwerty...so sorry to hear of this. Keep us updated and please know that we are hear for you.
Raina

I am also so sorry to hear this.. Keep your chin up and give yourself credit for giving this guy some joy even though he may not have deserved it. His self- centered ways will not get him very far.

Oh my goodness, I never thought there'd be so much response here... reading all of your messages brought lots of tears to my eyes last night, thank you all so much for the support and thoughts.

Yesterday, after I posted this thread, I had a sudden moment of clarity. I don't know why or where it came from, but something snapped. All of a sudden I just knew I was going to stop hurting about him.

In my head, I just don't believe anymore that any guy (or person I guess) is worth feeling miserable over -- and somehow my heart finally caught up. I just was able to put him aside, quit worrying about him and go on with my day.

I don't know if I will even write to him about this anymore. It's like it doesn't matter.... There are reasons having to do with his family that I need to stay in touch with him, so this is very liberating, I feel like I can go back to just writing occassionally if I feel like it, or not write if I don't feel like it. All of a sudden, I don't feel those emotions invested with him anymore and I feel like he can't hurt me.

Grrr.... I'm just TIRED of feeling so bad for so long!

I know it will still take some time, but I feel very lucky and I hope this feeling lasts.... I think a lot of it came from feeling all your love and support!!

If I can figure out how to bottle it, I will pass it around and share with all of you here who are hurting, too... :)

thanks for all the hugs and help...and heck no, I ain't leaving PTO, no way!!!

Im so sorry Qerty!!! Sometimes these relationships are so darn exhausting and time consuming it drains the life out of you and I understand completely what you are saying. I hope things get better, and concentrate on you and your needs, sometimes we neglect ourselves for too long.

Q.. caught this post.. and sensed it on the other forum. tooo (lifers) just forgot to mention it, since this life style.. or rather when we choose to be w/ someone who is in prison can be soo up/down and all around.. i kind of ride it out myself.. :(
I am sorry yu are going through this.. i have enjoyed your "presence" for a LONG time now in the (lifers) forum.. you have been there for me.. and i want you to know.. I AM HERE FOR YOU..
pm anytime..

Donna aka the diva:)))) love ya girl

qwerty!!! Awe honey, my heart is hurting for you right now. I know though that this is for the best. I believe that you deserve so much more than he can give. You are an awesome person and i know that you will find someone who can see your worth and will cherish you.....you deserve no less than that.
In the mean time you have so many people here at PTO that want to help you get thru this. Include me at the top of this list.

stay strong,
pw

Qwerty, I am sorry to hear this hun. :( Big hugs to you sweetie (((hugs))) and I hope you get to feeling much better soon. I know it hurts but you definitely need someone who will treat you good, like you deserve. :) I am glad you'll still be here with us, we don't want you going anywhere! :grouphug:

Awww thanks so much, all of you... I am feeling better. Had a good talk with his dad today... it was kinda good to hear he's being a meathead with everyone in his life, not just me.

Still, that doesn't change the fact that I had to pull away... for various reasons he will still be in my life, but he's been evicted from my heart now. I feel at peace about it. Thanks again for all your incredible support and friendship :)

I sense someone wonderful in your future and a helluva good book or three too

Hope you are doing well!!

Take care of YOU!

ONE

Just wanted to say I'm sorry you're going through this, I hope you are doing ok

Well, Qwerty, just think of it this way - YOU'RE THE NEWEST MEMBER OF THE CLUB! Congratulations!! After all, look at the wonderful company you get to enjoy. . . us!

Seriously, it hurts, and it hurts, and then, well, it just hurts less. And it's nice to hear that you're good with it. So, as I said, congratulations!

Qwerty I'm so sorry you're going through this but we're always here for you!! ((((((((HUGS))))))) Things will get better with time! Stay strong! :)

Qwerty at least your heart isn't hurting anymore, and you where able to pick yourself up and dust yourself off quickly. Please keep in touch with all of us. I have always enjoyed ready your posts.