I have been giving this some thought and have come up with some good ideas on things to do to get him (or her) out of your mind. :rock:

My hardest times, like I have said, seem to be at night. During the day I can go and go and not really give Josh any thought. :shrug: But at night as I lay in my bed, I just can't help it, my mind wonders. :blah:

So here are some ideas I have come up with. Let's use this thread to share ideas on getting over our ex's. :hifive:

1. Getting my nails done. (Talk about refreshing, like a new start). :hee:

2. Go out with my girls. :beer:

3. I like to rent a bunch of comedies and make a movie night with myself. :clap:

4. At night, I pick a good book, preferably a love story and then I can get lost with my imagination and pretend I am the heiress of the book. :bow:

5. I write in my journal on a daily basis. (I think its a great idea to put your feelings down on paper, sometimes it feels like you are releasing them and then you feel 20 pounds lighter). :yes:

That is what I have come up with so far. Any other ideas?

:grouphug:
Mel

if you like journaling you should try blogging. I blog at blogger.com. It's free and makes really neat web pages that work like an online diary. You can make them open or closed. If you want to see mine just pm me and I will send you the link.

What helped me most was writing, and yoga. Also try doing things that you normally wouldn't do FOR YOURSELF! Splurge on the new pair of shoes, take dance lessons, go for a walk, read a book (not a love story either! that don't help you!!)...

and if all that fails, sometimes it really does help to blare sappy love songs, eat chocolate and have a good cry.

Get a new boy friend,hopefully one with a good job no exwives or exkids.

Put all reminders of him away. Get a box and put all his letters, gifts and anything else in it. Put the box in the back of the closet, behind a bunch of stuff. You'll know where the box is when - someday - you are ready to deal with them.

If you wore a wedding ring or special ring that symbolized your relationship, take it off and put it in the box too. Buy yourself another ring so you don't find yourself staring at that empty finger.

I did pack up everything around the apartment that reminded me in any way about Josh. I almost packed up the phone because I remember those ridiculous phone bills hehe I put that box in the trunk of my car (I am soon to be moving, so I thought I would go ahead and bring the box to my momma's, where I can put it in my closet). I did wear a ring, in which back in the box it went and then into the bigger box. For a little bit my apartment looked so empty, ya know? I had nothing out, none of his pictures or the drawings he made. But I actually like how it looks now; I had decorated it so nicely when I first moved in, now it looks like it is suppose to :D

I am gunna be single for awhile. I really do not think I could even begin a relationship as I feel I am not completely done with Josh. That is not the right thing to do when another person's heart is involved. I just really feel like I would be useless in that department for awhile.

:grouphug:
Mel

How I'm keeping my mind off John now is by just living it up with my friends every night after work. I have some REALLY GOOD friends that care for me so much and have really been making a point of it to call me or come hang out with me every night. They keep me SOOOOOOOO busy!!!!!!! :D I love all my good friends!!!!!!!! :D I also just smoke some pot and hang out, I've been drinking ALOT more lately, but I'm a real light weight so I'm buzzed after like 3 beers and that's all I need!!!!!!! I only drink on the weekends though because I'm really not much of a drinker and I WILL wake up with a hang over.... my thang is smoking that green, I do that ALOT ALOT!!!!!!!!! :p :D ;) :thumbsup: I just try to keep him as far away from my mind as possible and I'e honestly been doing a pretty good job of it. I think it helps that I didn't get to spend alot of time with him on the out this time. If this had all happened 2 years ago, before he ever went to prison, I guarantee you I'd be a MESS right now. But the fact that he had already been gone for so long really helped me out. It sometimes seems like he's still in there and never even got released but I dunno, that's just me and my way of dealing with things. I'm REALLY GOOD at pushing things that bother me to the very back of my mind and never thinking of them again. Sometimes I think of that as a problem and other times, it's a gift!!!!!!! In this case, it's a gift because I don't let my situation with him bring me down and break me!!!!!!! ;) :D

I MADE myself go see friends.Showed up for dinner, just to be around something different. I used to have a friend come over thru the night (when I couldn't sleep) and we'd stay up ALL night playing cribbage :) Course he kicked my rear. He would bring his boy to play with my son. I also would go see my family ALOT! They really helped. Readin? OMG I couldn't even keep my mind focused on a recipe, let alone a book with a story line. I say, WHATEVER works.....DO IT! Walking is awesome. Shopping did me good as well. BINGO! Now that REALLY gave me something to smile about ;)

Stacy

BINGO! Now that REALLY gave me something to smile about ;)


Glad to hear that I am not the only one that loves to play some killer BINGO! Talk about a great game to take your mind off of anything ;)

Mel

somebody say BINGO??? I LOVE going to bingo!

Reading is actually the only thing I have found that completely gets my mind off of him.If I am reading a book that is all I'm focused on so looks like there is lots of reading in my future

OMG there's MORE who like BINGO? I always get laughed at when I say "I'm going to BINGO" :D I don't care, BINGO is a blast! And yes, it truly keeps your mind off things for about 3 1/2 hrs :)

Cali, if reading works for you GREAT! I have a ton of books. I read ALOT myself. Just not when I'm sad. What kind of books do you like? I can make great suggestions ;)

Stacy

I write reams of paper full. I also have my kids which is a job of it's own.

My doctor, counselor, and psychiatrist have all told to lay back and give myself a year. I have plans coming up for several things I am doing for health reasons so they have told me to wait until after everything is done.

I love to read but I haven't been able to concentrate on a book in years. I read papers and magazines. I clean like a freak. I wash walls all the time. I have a wood stove and the dirt is constant. And my kids are like a pair of gigantic puppies who tear everything up(and I want Newfies!!!!!!):) (one is 5'8' and weighs 220 lbs. and the other one is 6'0" and weighs 185) It's like living with moose and they eat like elephants!

When Jason took off and I found out about the other woman, I gave his clothes to the Salvation Army, gave him the stuff about him and his family, then burned everything he gave me and everything I gave him. I kept my poems and stories, even though they were for him, he can't have that piece of my soul. That is mine!

I am now spring cleaning and moving on to things I should have been doing but wasn't(and until I do, in my life, chaos will always reign).

Jason used to always say, "Giddy-up", and this old horse is going to train again for the race!

Im really not sure if this is appropriate or not, but I shredded every letter he ever wrote me and gave all of his clothes to goodwill :)

Im really not sure if this is appropriate or not, but I shredded every letter he ever wrote me and gave all of his clothes to goodwill :)


If it helped you feel better than it is appropriate. I ripped up the letter that he gave me the ultimatum in choosing him or my mom. Everyone heals in different ways :D

HUGS

Mel

I ripped up the letter that he gave me the ultimatum in choosing him or my mom. Everyone heals in different ways :D
I would have sent it back to him and siad "I've chosen! And it's not you!" :D

Cali, I've done the same, ripped things up he wrote me. Ripped a picture of us in half and sent it packin with the rest of his crap. I was 8 months pregnant packing his crap and taking it to the new girlfriends house. He told me "this is not my home" I said, "IT IS NOW" Eventually that anger does subside ;)

Stacy

This is what I need...especially now that I'm in a new relationship...and in the intimate moments ...my ex will pop in my head, so I try to push him out of my head. It will take some time, and opening up with my new guy will help me.

But now at home....I removed a ring I had on, to represent us and it's put away. Pictures have been put away, and I decluttered some stuff. But still I feel alot of negativity in my apartment so I'm going to have to do something else...I journal alot, talk with my friends, try to avoid his phone calls, surround myself with kids,I go to self-help groups and counselling. I started reading some books, and study something that interests me...walking helps abit, music helps me to cry...but I'm not putting a time limit of how long it will take to heal. It's little steps, sometimes it's two steps ahead and one back.

I have started to read Codependent No More (great book for alot of us). I all so started to patch all of the holes that he put in my walls before he went back in.. I have went shopping and pretty much bought alot of new clothes.. Louis never liked me to wear bright colors or pants with no pockets on the butt.. So I got alot of colors. I'm painting my room and got new bedding. I have alot to do in my house.. I took all of his stuff to his moms. I all so have a speical friend :blush: and He (louis) never came into my mind when we were togethere.

I guess that my break up is different than some cause I'm happy :D not to be with him anymore..

How about you blow up one of his pictures and use it as a dartboard???? Great stress reliever :)

Do any of you recall that Pepsi (or Coke) commercial with the woman driving in her pretty, red convertable to the town bar where her guy was and dumping all of his stuff right there in the dust before driving off into the sunset with her can of soda? I always liked that commercial, and imagined that if I ever had a "breaking up" scenario, that's what I would like to do.

But that's just me...and I'd be drinking a Diet Pepsi while leaving Dodge.

I have a great guy who has been a friend to me for over a year, that is slowly becoming more, but I can go to him about how I'm feeling whenever I need too!

I read a lot, but these days I'm only reading a textbook which really keeps me not thinking about him

I write in my journal, each and every time I have a moment, just so I can never forget what I've been through

I do have movie night all by myself

I go out now, it's so nice to go out!

I'm about to start working out!

I just got a new apartment so in just a few weeks all of my old memories will be gone, I have taken the ring off of my finger, stuck all the pictures and letters into a box (they will be returned to him when I take his stuff to his brother's house, all nicely taped up!) and in just a couple of weeks the tattoo on the back of my neck with his name will be covered up!

However, I seem to agree with Louis'sgirl, I'm not sad or depressed about this ending, I'm actually happy because I'm taking me back! I get to live my life for myself!